Trust and positive energy aren't just buzzwords; they're the cornerstones of our lively discussion as we uncover their crucial role in our lives. We're sharing the wisdom gained from seeking mentorship, trusting in ourselves when facing doubt, and the magic that happens when we channel our energy into life's positive aspects. Listen as we recount tales of conscious leadership and the compelling shift that happens when we focus on the good - a powerful reminder that the direction of our attention can truly shape our realities.
Relationships can be a dance of loyalty and alignment, and in this episode, we navigate that intricate waltz. It's all about the subtle art of feeling in sync with others, recognizing the red flags of misalignment, and making peace with the natural end of friendships. We're talking about the importance of standing by your values, knowing when to step back gracefully, and the strength that comes from self-awareness and authenticity. Wrap up the chat with us as we reflect on gratitude, personal growth, and the liberating practice of detaching with love, all the while staying true to our own path amid life's symphony.
To follow our journey:
Instagram @aheadhair_
@the_conscious_salon
This podcast has been produced and edited by Snappystreet Creative
Trust and positive energy aren't just buzzwords; they're the cornerstones of our lively discussion as we uncover their crucial role in our lives. We're sharing the wisdom gained from seeking mentorship, trusting in ourselves when facing doubt, and the magic that happens when we channel our energy into life's positive aspects. Listen as we recount tales of conscious leadership and the compelling shift that happens when we focus on the good - a powerful reminder that the direction of our attention can truly shape our realities.
Relationships can be a dance of loyalty and alignment, and in this episode, we navigate that intricate waltz. It's all about the subtle art of feeling in sync with others, recognizing the red flags of misalignment, and making peace with the natural end of friendships. We're talking about the importance of standing by your values, knowing when to step back gracefully, and the strength that comes from self-awareness and authenticity. Wrap up the chat with us as we reflect on gratitude, personal growth, and the liberating practice of detaching with love, all the while staying true to our own path amid life's symphony.
To follow our journey:
Instagram @aheadhair_
@the_conscious_salon
This podcast has been produced and edited by Snappystreet Creative
Here at the Conscious Salon, we acknowledge the traditional owners of the land in which we stand today, the Boon Rung people of the Kula Nation. We pay our respects to the elders, past and present, and extend their respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Conscious Salon. Welcome back to the Conscious Salon podcast. Tess, I was running a little late this morning.
Speaker 1:Oh my God she's so frantic I'm just like literally having guppatee and like we just need to. She's um, she forgot that we're recording first of all, so that was good. Yeah, called Nikki on my way down, just like hi, darl, hi, I think in a second.
Speaker 2:I marked myself in to start late so I was like I'm going to have just a cruisey morning Might take slowly to the coffee shop, just going to have like a later start, and then you called me and said and I was like, oh, you're in the car, I thought you were working from home this morning.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which I said. Still no power, darl. So that's done. How I can work in? Honestly but how good have I gotten at doing my makeup with a phone torch?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you do look stunning yeah.
Speaker 1:And yeah, it's a talent to be able to do it with a torch Light and just look this good. I got to work, I was like cause I got in the car and I was like, 100%, I'll have that like savage, like line the line of like literally looks like you've got a mask on your face, you never get the line. Well, yeah, I don't. I don't like. I'm all my makeups in my eyes. I don't wear like a lot on my face face, but not the eyes. The eyes are always dramatic.
Speaker 2:There's always, you know, pop a color a little brown, a little bit of rousing down along the eyes.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, I've got to deter from the. What was the thing that the optometrist said to me in the day?
Speaker 2:Your eyes are like beautiful, but too close together Just couldn't get a frame and that she picks some frames and they said you want to be like subconscious of you. Because you have like cartoon style eyes, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then she like did the like she did, she did like the close together, she like pinched her fingers. Okay, well, they're not like, it's not like one eye.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to think of a tattooing character who has, like, really close together eyes, but I can't think of one.
Speaker 1:I think it's that thing in the that holds the eye. I don't know what it's called. It's on like monsters. One of the kids show I'll find it. It's. I'm actually going to find it cause it's going to drive me nuts. Who is it?
Speaker 2:Um, it was Grug, grug, grug. No, no, no, no, no it's not Grug.
Speaker 1:It's not Grug, hang on.
Speaker 2:I think his name is Grug.
Speaker 1:I feel like Googling one-eyed monsters really going to get me into some serious trouble Cartoon, I'll put it Anyway.
Speaker 2:So yes, I was a little bit late for the podcast. While Tess finds this Just like a laugh at it. I was a little bit late and Tess said we're recording podcast in an hour, and so I jumped in the car.
Speaker 1:Oh could be Mike Wazowski, but it's not him, it's the one that holds it.
Speaker 2:It's Grug. Type in Grug. I think it's Grug. Anyway we're here, we're back with another episode answering all your questions, including what is the name of the monster that holds his eyeballs.
Speaker 1:But Tess the week that was.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 1:No, he's got two eyes and his name's Crumb, but he's got two eyes.
Speaker 2:I don't have that much memory. I was like close with Grug who's Grug?
Speaker 1:Honestly, though, I feel like that's relatable.
Speaker 2:That is great. Anyone, everyone, Google Crumb from.
Speaker 1:Monsters.
Speaker 2:But, tess, the week that was, it's been a great week here at Ahead. We're busy, busy, busy and we have our Christmas party this weekend, which is very exciting.
Speaker 1:I can't wait for that. I've still got no power at home. You girls still in the dark and freezing cold.
Speaker 2:And first of all this morning you just happened to go somewhere that's got power.
Speaker 1:I literally said to Mike I Also how the universe works. So we're still down from. You know the storms. We're not going to get into that. You guys have heard the trauma of the storms, the Great Melbourne Storms, which, by the way, no one knows about. Oh, it's not interstate news. No, who was I talking to? It's not even into, it's not even like a couple of hours down. Really, One of our girlfriends in Torquay didn't know about it Really. No, she said she only knew because one of the kids from her childcare down in Torquay I didn't even know how she found out.
Speaker 2:But it was like, well, they're in Melbourne and blew back to Torquay.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness, mate. But yeah, no idea, completely oblivious, I was like, oh, that's good. It's like we're all in the trenches and they're all you know, off gallivanting. But I said this to Mike last night we're both away this weekend. We're never both away. He's leaving tomorrow. Mike runs a festival down in I'll give him a little plug Brethren, a little tiny, teeny country town and he does a Blues festival that he runs down there. He's leaving tomorrow. So he was also. He went to the pool this morning to go and have a hot shower down there. Talia had squad training and they jumped in the car and went down and had a hot shower down there.
Speaker 2:That's my idea. I wish I was a member of a gym like in these moments, but then also being a member of a gym is not really appealing?
Speaker 1:Absolutely not. I mean, you know, I've created my own gym at home because just to avoid that situation. But I said to him the fact that we are both away at the same time, because we're going away as well and we're both going to be treated to running hot water, electricity, child-having fun.
Speaker 2:Let's actually talk about what we're going to do for Christmas party, because the girls don't know. We're in the cell at the moment recording but by the time this episode comes out they would have already done it. So we have a very exciting Christmas party planned for them. Every year we do big Christmas parties. We talked about this on an episode a few episodes ago. We do really spoil our team at Christmas time. So majority of them are not driven by gifts, so we don't give gifts. They're just like they're not into gifts. Majority of them are really driven by experiences, so we like to treat them to experiences that they may not usually have access to or may not have done before. So they are getting picked up on Saturday after work by our limo guy. We have a limo guy. He's finally. Actually that isn't great. Oh, you're a shout out.
Speaker 1:We'll give him a shout out. We're actually here with Matt officially.
Speaker 2:And Matt was an absolute gentleman and actually gave me because I've been such a repeat customer with so many limos recently for different events and things.
Speaker 1:Super relatable, right now no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2:For work, stuff for our team, for my mother-in-law's birthday. But he gave me a little cheeky discount.
Speaker 1:Yeah, good on you.
Speaker 2:Matt. Thanks Matt, but yeah, the girls are getting picked up by a limo on Saturday afternoon and they the my baby disappointed because last time we got him a helicopter. Yeah, that might be, but they're getting driven down to a beautiful property on a farm. Oh my God, it's so stunning, so stunning, rolling mountains, really beautiful big house. Yeah the film, all the views and then the first time.
Speaker 1:Electricity I'm most excited for, and a hot shower.
Speaker 2:They're going to be treated to a private chef experience on Saturday night, which is really exciting. We've got a chef doing a five course meal, which is going to be incredible. And they pick we always do a themed dinner and they picked the theme this year and the theme is black tie, which I was a bit quickly about, because I think he won't be able to wear Converse or Birkenstock.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly. My version of black tie is like okay, I'm going to bring out my good hug boots, yeah, but it's going to be beautiful that is relatable. Also we've got some little surprise and delight things along the way. But we're also on Monday morning. We're taking them hot air ballooning, which is going to be incredible.
Speaker 1:So good. Are you an impact member if you're in a? No, I'm a star if anyone panics from heights and they get scared. If you get shorned beyond.
Speaker 2:it's just this is not a heights go.
Speaker 1:I'm not like and before anyone's like oh you just got to face it, I've done my efforts on it. It's accepted that I'm not going to get good with it and that's all right, I can handle it, but also, you don't have to overcome every single fear. Leave me with a fear.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, keep the what We've got to keep it relatable.
Speaker 1:Exactly, we've got to keep it relatable. We're not relatable with the limo discount, but we're relatable with the fancy odds and I'm relatable with the fear of heights.
Speaker 2:You know why the limo's come out a lot because I love to.
Speaker 1:Don't justify it. Leave it like that. I love to stay obnoxious.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, not for myself. I love one of the biggest. Okay, there's no basis, so friendly, you've got the mates right to discount, but one of the reasons I love to work so hard and why I'm driven to work so hard is because I love to give people experiences.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you do that is like I love to make people feel understand how much I appreciate them by giving them experiences like family friends. It's just one of the things I like to do, and a lot of the stars when you pop down to the supermarket.
Speaker 2:A mat, I'm not telling, but it's been a great week. We've got some beautiful things to look forward to. First segment that we run around here is called what Hot Girl Hotline. So for anyone new around here, we run a segment every week. We put a questions box up on Instagram and ask you for your business woes, your troubles, anything that's keeping you up at night, and then we offer our advice around it. So, in test, what is today's listener question?
Speaker 1:Today's question is I really want to get into mentoring but keep getting talked out of it. Any advice?
Speaker 2:Yes. Well, it sounds like you need to surround yourself with some better people. Look, I understand this because a lot of the time, if people aren't in the arena and knowing why mentorship is so valid, first of all, if people have never experienced personal development, they can be really scared of the unknown. So I do understand that. I'm compassionate to that.
Speaker 2:However, on the flip side of it, our friend, kate Morris, talked about something really interesting on her Instagram story recently. She's a PT. We've watched her build this absolute empire and someone that I really, really respect, and she did a story the other day and talked about the importance of not taking business advice from your family, your friends, your partner, like your people, who aren't in business. So take business advice from people who are in business and in the arena, or mentors and everyone else's. Basically, what she said was everyone else's opinion is irrelevant because they're not in the arena, they're not experiencing the things that you're experiencing and they also don't understand the power of close proximity and working on things gaps in your business.
Speaker 2:So I thought that was really valid and I've definitely been someone who in the past previously has been very influenced by what other people have said about where I should and shouldn't invest my time, energy and money. So my advice to this person would be to not discuss things with your family and friends who aren't in the arena. If this is true for you, if this feels good for you, if it feels aligned for you, say nothing to the people around you and trust your gut, because what I've learned in everything that I've ever invested in is I have gotten to a point where I trust myself enough to make a return on investment on anything. What do you think?
Speaker 1:I think that's a great answer. I'm going to and I think that's going to be super relatable for a lot of people and I think Nikki's exactly right. Like you talk about business with people that are in the arena understand it all part of it, I think, with it. You know, I just see I'm going to give a bit of a simpler version of that For me.
Speaker 1:I think back to when we started mentoring and mentorship and learning how to become business owners rather than a head or a beauty therapist that had a cello, and I just see it like you go to a professional to get help and to get advice and to get support. So from that perspective, it's the same as you go to a if you want to, you know, start a health journey. You might go see a nutritionist or a doctor or a personal trainer. If you're feeling your mental health's not great, you're going to go again to a doctor, kick you into a medical result. But you're going to go to a you know doctor that might make a mental health plan. That then makes a psychiatrist or psychologist appointment, counseling, whatever it is. If you're wanting help, go to someone that has expertise in this area. So and.
Speaker 1:I think people probably get.
Speaker 2:where people would probably differentiate between that is because they'd go oh, a doctor's qualified People are like a business mentor won't necessarily be qualified in business advice. However, if you find someone who's actually done what you want to do, that's as qualified as you can possibly get.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. So I think you know we've worked with many mentors. I know that we'll work with many more to come. I don't think that there's any anyone that's talking you out of it. Like I don't want to stay, you know, at the same level. I'm always wanting to get better, do better and grow more and evolve. So for me, I can do better, grow more and evolve and learn more if I'm learning from other people. So I think you know just trusting your gut and doing what's right for you, and if the worst thing you lose in it is money, you'll always get it back, absolutely.
Speaker 2:I want to say as well I'm going to be totally honest here A family member of ours told us I'm not going to name who it was but a family member of ours told us the night before we opened the salon not to do it and that it wouldn't work. And obviously I can look back at that now and understand that. You know, this is before we'd done any personal development, 11 years ago. We're about to open our salon and a family member said are you sure you want to do this? You know it might not work. Maybe you shouldn't do this.
Speaker 2:And I can look back now and be really compassionate towards that person and understand that that all came from their own fear and their fear of never taking the leap and doing that, because this person would have probably been a great business owner as well.
Speaker 2:So we can look back at that with a different set of eyes. However, at the time I don't know if it was because we were super young, really naive, whatever it was we were like what do you know, but in the wrong hands or in the hands of someone who's quite vulnerable, we could have really listened to that. So it's really important to trust yourself and if you're finding that you're doubting yourself when people are around you telling you what to do or instructing you what to do or giving you advice, and you find yourself being quite influential. I would really say do as much work as you can on yourself to be able to flex the muscle to trust yourself, because all this person is experiencing is a lack of self-trust as opposed to hearing external people's things. But it's hard if you have people in your life who don't support you. Can be toxic, can not understand what your vision is. That can be really, really difficult and really hold you back, which is something that everyone experiences, wouldn't you think?
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean it's hard. You've got to really surround yourself with.
Speaker 1:You just have to trust what you know is right for you. And it's okay if people don't understand or see it the same because they're not in your head working on how your things, how you're working on it, and that's okay. They don't have to agree or support it. It's okay. If you think it's the right thing, then it's the right thing.
Speaker 2:This is a great topic actually, tess, because we have talked about this a lot recently, about what we really choose to put energy into and where we choose to focus positivity. So one of our favorite sayings here at the Conscious Salon is where we focus, where we water, it will grow. So, basically, if our philosophy is if you focus on good things, more good things will come to you. If you focus on the shit things, you're only going to be able to see the shit things and you'll just be in the mindset that only bad things happen to you, and everyone experiences this, but not everyone gets the epiphany or the enlightenment of wow, energetically, I'm really attracting these things.
Speaker 1:I think with all of this stuff and conversation, this has actually just gotten my brain ticking. Anyway, we've had a lot of last year as we've discussed. I feel like we were leading pretty unconsciously and there are a lot of things that were happening unconsciously this year, stepping into it, we started getting really conscious, really aware of what we're putting energy into, how we're showing up. Not perfect all the time, you know, still have moments of being a human and struggling with things but I think we've gotten really conscious of energy people around us and I actually really want to with this person's question around, you know, having negative influences or negativity around. I feel like we've had a really big shift with that. We've done a bit of an audit, haven't we?
Speaker 2:We have, we've done a bit of an audit. Actually, we talk a lot about audits auditing life, auditing business auditing energies, auditing who we're surrounding ourselves with and auditing what we choose to put energy into. So let's talk a little bit about that and some of the things that have changed for us recently.
Speaker 1:So obviously we've had a bit of an audit in the salon. Things have changed up. We've spoken about that honestly too much, so that's. We're all very clear on what that is. If you're not just listen to any episode, I'm sure it'll come up in conversation at some point, but we have. We should really shift to things and energy and the teams that we've had in here. But then I think back to how we've had things over the last few years and there's also been some changes in friendships, relationships, movement, I would say, and I have also been having a lot of conversations with people around this recently about relationships changing, whether that's friendships, whether that's romantic, whether that's dynamics and the thing I hear come up so much with people and relationships and whether that's friendships or romantics, whatever.
Speaker 1:There's this loyalty aspect and also this time duration aspect that has a lot of weight and I'm just going to give a different perspective and this is again my view, my opinion, my take. You can take what you want and leave what you don't. I actually have no attachment to loyalty. I don't think loyalty is, it's not a value of mine, it is not something that's like, and I'm going to explain why, because I actually know that it's quite a big one for you and I'm going to express why loyalty is not something that I fuck with. I guess jam with, connect with Loyalty to me creates a bond of like you have to land with this person on everything. Loyalty is, like you know, right or die, but like you have to like, have loyalty to that person no matter what, because it comes back to like the longevity thing.
Speaker 2:I think you're about to like change my opinion of loyalty. Okay, yep.
Speaker 1:Well, this is what's changed mine, because I felt like and Mick and I were talking about this the other night loyalty to me has more of an ownership attachment and that's why.
Speaker 1:I don't like it because I feel like if you're loyal to someone, it's like you can't ever break free from them, and that doesn't resonate with me, because I'm someone that always wants to feel, you know, free to make my own decisions, have my own thoughts, have my own. That's, that's a really important thing for me. Loyalty is not a big pillar for me. Trust is a really big pillar to me. Having trust and honesty, they're really big ones for me and I want to kind of, you know, just have a discussion around something and just to give some food for thought for people to go away and, you know, maybe maybe do an audit of their own, maybe go through some of the people that are around them and really question am I with this person? Is this person in my world because of loyalty, because we've been friends for 15 years? Are my friends with this person because They've supported me through x, y and z? Yes, that's a big one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, they were there for me in this time, so I feel I have to be yeah, well to them and what I just want to offer as something you can have the deepest, most Connected, incredible friendships, relationships, experiences and I'm someone that's had quite a few of these ebbs and flows of things and it's okay if that doesn't last the rest of your life. We are not designed to have Relationships that last until the end of time. I know that Hollywood and all of the stories that were told and all of the things that we grow up with. We have this thing of like. You know, your best friend when you were five needs to be the best friend you have forever. It can be that it can be different from that and it's okay either way. Either way, it's okay.
Speaker 1:But what I don't agree with is when you start having could, because we all grow, evolve and change and like there'll be people that would be sitting hearing this about me and we could have been incredibly close when we were younger and now we're not as close Because I've grown, changed, evolved I'm not the same person that I was then and when we're going through these Like waves of change and growth and expansion, it's okay if you don't keep going on the same path together. It's okay if someone that you considered a friend is no longer considered a friend to you. It's okay if you don't have the same thoughts. It's okay if you don't have the same vision. It's okay if you love someone but then they start doing things that you don't love or resonate with or you're seeing different things, and it's okay to be like. You know what I still have. You know, great love for this person.
Speaker 1:However, it's not going to work for me continuing forward as a, as a duo, however it is, or I'm gonna need to remove myself a bit just to protect myself more or realign or whatever it is, and I think we really need to normalize that, because I feel like when people look back on their relationships, there can be so much angst and like pressure built up and always these things about you know you've got to have these, you know big conversations and like Almost like friendships need to end with like a public service announcement yeah, like that, or like a big fight or like you know I've got to tell them how I feel you can, if you want, you totally can. But sometimes my friendships just kind of patter away and it's totally okay because there'll be things in there that I'll be like cool, I don't really align with that person anymore and that's okay, because not my job to Get them to think the way that I think. I don't owe them anything to continue forward.
Speaker 1:We can have differences or they can do things that usually for me I don't like certain things and I'm like no cool, that's something that really doesn't align with me. So it can be something that I consider toxic. So that can be something a multitude of things but if it's a behavior that I no longer associate with or like Would do myself, I can separate from that. So if that's, if that's speaking badly about people, I I that doesn't resonate for me. I have a really big issue. We're speaking badly about people.
Speaker 2:I think both of us feminism and Building women up like can be something that people I feel like people can throw that around a lot and say like I support women, like I'm here to inspire and empower women and blah, blah, blah. But Actually embodying that, truly embodying that, means that you do not put another woman's in your mouth, another woman's name in your mouth, negatively. So I do think that there are certain elements of Friendship that if you don't have the foundation of respect, it just can't be repaired.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think with that sometimes I and me as a feminist saying this I'm happy to put anyone's name in my mouth that I have an issue with, but I think you have to be comfortable with having that same thing said to that person or saying it to that person.
Speaker 2:Oh sorry, I forgot to make like. I forgot to say that I'm okay to have uncomfortable conversations if I'm not Because of persons, a woman and be like. Tearing down another woman when they're not around is like that to me, is like absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally which you know that that's things that we've experienced recently for sure, and I Why'd you were talking then I was actually thinking about you know, over the last 12 months We've had family that we've become under straight oh sorry that we've become estranged from. We've had friends that we've walked away from. Years of friendship, and not even just years of friendship, deep friendship when you know and through no fault of anybody's just going. Okay, do I have respect for this person, can I appreciate the values, and we can have differences of opinion and things like that, but do I respect this person? Does this person respect me? And it's okay to walk away from something that's no longer serving? You know, we've had different friendships within, like work relationships that have changed dramatically and we've walked away from and being okay to know when a relationship becomes toxic, no longer serves you or it just starts to feel a little bit unsafe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so Obviously we love a pracky tea. What would we say to Anyone if they were in the situation where they felt like they had this loyalty to someone, whether it's someone in business, whether it's someone in their team, whether it's team members listening to it, feeling like that from a business owner point of view, like from a they're thinking about that, about their boss. Hmm, friendships, work relationships, anything like that. What would we say to that person? Hmm, it's a great question.
Speaker 1:For me. For me, I am not someone that is. I Always go with how I feel friendships, relationships, everything. I don't people don't necessarily need to think the exact same way that I think or Feel, but if I don't feel good around this person or I can feel something that is making me feel like we're not aligned, and this is the thing. Alignment doesn't mean you have to like you know, yes, I believe in this. Do you believe this? Okay, great, we can be like solid on this. It means that, like, let's believe in it together. Yeah, I Think alignment for me is just like cool. We both have like similar moral compasses, similar things that we're like lit up by, and like I can't be around someone at slow-vibes because that will just yeah.
Speaker 2:Could you be friends of the misogynist? Like that's what I mean. Like your values have got across somewhere totally um and that's the thing I think. No, I couldn't be friends with them.
Speaker 1:So it's a racist. I can't know if there are certain things that I just cannot touch, but in saying that, I Think for me I don't think super logically, and this is probably where we're a little bit different. I just got how I feel and around this person, if I'm no longer feeling Like I'm myself, or that I'm happy or that I'm, you know, if I just feel myself either shrinking back or just like Not excited to go and see the person or be around the person, we're probably not super aligned. Hmm, and that's okay, because it doesn't mean I don't really have big confrontations or blow-ups with friends. I Usually just have friendships that can just kind of pat her away and it's a almost like a little silent like Thing that we both agree on. There's never any, like I know, with the friendships that I've lost or have ended, I Know if I saw them, I could always be like, hey, you know how I, you know, while you do the thing, like let's catch up, yep, definitely, let's go to a coffee. You know, catch up soon.
Speaker 1:I Always have good blood with people, but I can just silently Pick myself up and put myself somewhere else. Hmm, and I, because I don't want to have the commotion and they're like. I actually want to tell you, like, because I think it sounds really Condescending if I'm sitting there and going like, oh, actually I don't align with, like, how you're thinking or how you're, or I don't feel good. That's not going to help them either. If they care about the friendship and they want to ask me, 100%, I'll have that conversation, but it's not something that you and not everyone will agree with that, but that's just something that I silently do. Hopefully none of my former friends are listening to this, going like, oh, that's what happened.
Speaker 2:But also, I think, a lot of the time when people do the confrontation thing, I've really, I've actually learned a lot listening to you today. When people do the confrontation thing, hi guys, that's me. But when people do the confrontation thing, it can be quite about the other person. You know, you did this, you did this, I didn't like that, whereas what you're saying is basically my values and my feelings have changed, so I'm going to remove myself 100%. Yeah, that's really hot and reasonable of you, tess.
Speaker 1:But I'm also so uncomfortable with confrontation as a general Like I'm not I'm not someone that's like I mean certain topics absolutely A misogynist. I'll be like cool, come over here, let's have a little chat. I'm happy to do that. But it depends in terms of like. I just don't see, I don't see a positive that will come out of it conversation around that, so I just can't be bothered by giving my a quiet quit, 100%.
Speaker 1:I don't want to do the big blow up or the throw down. I understand you were saying that that's what you feel that you do. I actually don't think it is.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it can be, but you know, I think, when I'm actually understanding. You know, tess and I have made it like our life mission to understand people's psychology and why people are the way that they are, and we do it with ourselves, we do it with like every aspect of our lives.
Speaker 1:Well, because we've had to really work ourselves out, and then we're like, let's look at everyone else as well. Well it's, it's so fascinating Do you think like it really is fascinating?
Speaker 2:100% yeah, obviously like we think it's fascinating because we've made it our whole career.
Speaker 1:Wait, don't we do this career at this. I'm going to be like. So really tell me like. Why are you like this?
Speaker 2:But it's look, this happened recently in my life. This situation actually happened recently. It's actually happened, like I said, several times over the last 12 months. It did happen recently and I'm a very logical person. I'm a very black and white person, so I've always struggled to identify emotions. I've actually really struggled to feel emotions in a healthy way and I've had to learn that, which has been one of the biggest things that I've ever had to overcome. So, for me, I'm very black and white and I'm just like don't like this need to say this to you, and sometimes I can't register, like it takes me a second to, because empathy and understanding how people are going to receive things is very different to how I would receive things Because, as I said, I'm very black and white.
Speaker 2:So sometimes in the past I've just been like don't like this, don't like you, don't like what you've said, and I don't think that's a healthy way, because a lot of the time I really looked at blaming other people previously, whereas now I'm like oh, this doesn't feel quite right for me as a person anymore and my values are X, y and Z and I struggle with your values or I struggle with your opinions and I have, you know, in some relationships recently I've quietly quit as well, just going. You know what my energy is really important? I really want to protect it and this person's. It's no longer serving me. I don't need a big, dramatic exit. I don't need to do like the exit interview where we give each other feedback. I'm just this is not for me anymore and it's okay, and I think I'm just going to quietly quit, yeah, and just. The relationship dynamic has changed, whether it's finished or whatever.
Speaker 2:But this did happen recently and you know I did find out that someone had said some really negative things about me and, honestly, the only way I felt initially was really confused, and the reason I felt confused is because I was like wow, I thought that me and this girlfriend had such huge respect for each other and I would never use her name in my mouth in a negative way when she wasn't around. So I was just straight up confused. As I said, logical person, type of person who's like if someone said something that I didn't like, I'd be like that's weird. Why did you say that, whereas I would never think to go and tell someone else about it before I told?
Speaker 1:that person?
Speaker 2:Yeah, literally just yeah well, I just wouldn't think to do that. So I was trying to understand where this person was coming from, thinking you know. But what I got to and I think it's so much of the work that I've done with Georgie around emotion and processing emotion and being compassionate towards other people what I actually landed on was this really has nothing to do with me.
Speaker 2:And what that person was doing in that moment was to elevate themselves. They were pulling me down and I'm compassionate towards that, truly, because I think I've done that before and it comes from insecurity and I totally am compassionate to that person. But I also understand they're not in the arena so their opinion of whatever I was doing, that they were talking negatively about, their opinion of that literally is not valid because they're not in the arena, they don't know what's happening, they don't have an opinion, they don't know the facts. So let them think that and also, if that's the way that they're showing up, the only thing, that the only opinions that are going to change eventually is the opinions of that person who talks negatively about other women. It's not the opinion of me and I'm not responsible for the way that other people show up.
Speaker 2:So I think, the advice that I would give would be just be really conscious of your energy coming into things. Do you want to sweat on this? Where you water, it will grow. So do you want to water on this and have this negative energy breed? Or do you want to go? Oh sorry, that person, that's what they think Cool. Next, what else am I doing? Because all I'm focusing on right now is what I came here to do, so that would be my advice around that.
Speaker 1:Who is the person? I can't remember who it is. Actually, I'm not going to Google it. I was like I'll Google it.
Speaker 2:No, it's a grub.
Speaker 1:There is a very famous aiming by someone very wise or very fabulous that what people's opinions of you is nothing to do with you, none of your business None of your business.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Brenna Brown says if you're not in the arena you don't get an opinion, which obviously is a really hot thing to say. But no idea who said the other one, but it's a great one.
Speaker 1:But it is. It's so true. What people think of you is none of your business, so who cares what's it think? Gary Vee says that where he's like talking about going around and like listening to other people's. Like if you listen to everyone's opinions and what they think, like then you're just going to get stuck in that moment and not be able to do all the kick-ass things. I'm saying this very badly, but who gives a fuck about that? No, who gives a fuck about them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so good, so good, so good. How bad are American accents, tess? What are you grateful for? We end every episode in gratitude.
Speaker 1:I'm grateful for all of my friendships, relationships, experiences I've had with other people. I've learned from them, I've grown from them. I hope that I've evolved from them, still learning, growing and evolving. I'm super grateful and I always, I truly always, have gratitude, even for some of the tumultuous you know, outrageous, usually my former romantic relationships. I'm so grateful for all of them because I learned so much and I experienced so much and I've grown so much and changed. So for every friendship relationship once to come, I'm so not relation well, I hope not. I'm very happy with the one that I have, but I am really grateful for all the lessons that I have and all the experiences that I have. And when things patter away or we learn things and we feel, you know, betrayal or the loyalty is not there, I feel so grateful that I've learned how to just be detached from them and that it won't hurt me. It doesn't mean that I'm not bulletproof. I still get wounded. The ego is still there, going like oh what?
Speaker 1:you know, but I'm so grateful that it hurts a little less and it I can rebound from it a bit quicker, and that's really I'm really grateful for that.
Speaker 2:What about you?
Speaker 1:what are you grateful for?
Speaker 2:I'm really grateful that this came up recently.
Speaker 2:I'm actually really grateful that this came up recently and I had the opportunity to really put into practice all the work that I've done in the past couple of years around ego and around not being responsible for what other people do, like I literally had the opportunity to go cool. How am I going to react to this? Am I going to do that? Very logical you know bring the person up and say what, what is this? Or am I going to do cool? Where's my energy at? What can I do for myself? Let people think what they want to think Totally, and I think oh sorry, no, that's really it.
Speaker 1:Well, how do you feel? This is like the first time you've done a different tactic, which is not or not the first. I'm sorry, but like this is what one of the most like I would say, one of the most pivotal times that you have not.
Speaker 2:It's the least reactive. Yes, and look, it's never like rattles me and like makes me flustered. I just it's like naturally that's what I want to do. I'm like sorry, what, just because of how logical I am, like I'm very black, am.
Speaker 1:I, you are, but you're also very much canceran, where you've got the really tough exterior but inside so soft and mushy and so sensitive. So sensitive?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm a sensitive girlie, but look, this is the first time that something like this has happened and I've had moments of being like, so disappointing. I'm really disappointed to hear that and I'm so disappointed. Have you gone to contact the person? No, I've said a couple of times should I just ring this person up and say what's going on? I thought we were really good mates. No, I haven't. I haven't gone to contact them. I'm just like I don't actually care, because, at the end of the day, if you want to walk around and do that and worry about what other people are doing, girlfriend, I'm just here to do like. I'm here on my mission. I know what I'm doing every single day, like I came on this planet to help and enlighten people to live a more conscious life. That's what I'm coming here to do. I don't even fuck about what anyone else is doing. Who gives a fuck about them?
Speaker 1:Totally. I don't care. I'm not worried about what anyone else is doing.
Speaker 2:I don't care what other bloody salons are doing.
Speaker 1:I'm okay, it's what he says. And it's other loser people. He gives a fuck about them. We have to find that video. I will find it. We're going to link it to this episode. I'm absolutely going to record one of my favorites, but yeah like genuinely.
Speaker 2:I'm like, I'm just focusing on myself and what.
Speaker 1:I'm doing. That's it. I don't care what you're doing.
Speaker 2:I'm just doing my own thing and that's what I'm concentrating on and that and I feel peaceful and happy. So it's been Suck on them. Thank you, guys, so much for listening. Beautiful episode Take conscious. Take conscious. Suck on them, stay conscious. Thanks so much for listening to this episode and hanging out with us today To hear more about our journey. Follow us on Instagram at the underscore conscious underscore salon if you're a shit speller, check the spelling of conscious or at ahead hair underscore. Thank you so much for joining us today and we'll see you in the next episode.