The Conscious Salon
Welcome to The Conscious Salon.
Join Tessa and Nicola - sisters, best friends and founders of aHead, Melbourne’s First Mindful Salon. In this space, you’ll be empowered, inspired and entertained by the ups and downs of running a conscious, small business.
We chat mindset, culture, business and give you practical steps to make your life more conscious.
The Conscious Salon
Listen to this when a team member resigns (pep talk)
That gut-wrenching moment when a team member resigns. We have all been there. The sinking feeling, the self-doubt, the questions about what this means for your business. You are not alone, and you do not have to navigate it from a place of panic.
In this episode, we offer your emergency pep talk for when a resignation lands on your desk. We share our own vulnerable mistakes (yes, even the tearful clinging!) and the lessons that helped us shift from taking resignations personally to seeing them as part of the natural cycle of business.
Here is the mindset shift that changes everything: every team member has an expiry date. And that is okay. You do not own your staff any more than you own your clients. When you create a safe environment where career conversations can happen openly, departures feel less like rejection and more like evolution.
Whether you are in the thick of a resignation right now or preparing yourself for when it happens, this conversation will help you:
- Respond with grace instead of reactivity
- Hold space for your feelings without making it about you
- See staff transitions as an opportunity for growth, for them and for you
Remember: this change is happening for you, not to you. You have navigated challenges before, and you will navigate this too.
Press play now, and save this episode for the day you need a grounded, heart-led reminder.
To follow our journey:
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@the_conscious_salon
This episode of the Conscious Salon podcast is proudly brought to you by Revlon Professional Australia.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to another episode of the Conscious Salon podcast.
Speaker 1:Great to be here, thank you.
Speaker 2:Tess, we want to talk about something we want to give the people an episode to come back to. Yes, when a team member resigns. Yes, so I want you to think of this as your pep talk. Yes, when a team member leaves your business and resigns. Yes, so I want you to think of this as your pep talk. Yes, when a team member leaves your business and resigns. Amazing, tess. Why do you think that our industry takes it so personally when someone leaves our business?
Speaker 1:generally speaking, our industry is full of people pleasers. We're very performative, we do. We want to be liked. We want to be liked for what we can do, how we make people feel, how we um our craft. We want to leave people feeling an impact from us. So this also applies not only to our clients and how we show up with our team, but also when our team decide to move on, our clients decide to move on.
Speaker 1:We start taking this really personally and we can see it as a and I know that feeling firsthand. I've experienced that myself. When people, whether it's clients, whether it's team, whoever it is that starts stepping away, it can almost feel like a a bit of rejection, a bit of yeah, just just leaves you feeling a bit uncertain and unsure, and I think, with this intention, we wanted to bring this back to the awareness around. You know alignment. You know everyone in your business has an expiry date, including you, and this is something that can really change how you will move within your business. I know for me, that changed the game for me when I started realising that everyone in my business, including me, had an expiry date in here and that started really changing how I showed up. But it also changed the impact that would happen when people would be spreading their wings and wanting to move on.
Speaker 2:Years ago, I feel like we took things so personally when people would leave our business and it became like a what did I not do? I know a lot of salon owners ask themselves that same question what am I not doing? You know, why am I driving people out of my business? Is it a me thing? And while self-analysis is really, really important, important in so many aspects, I think we just need to normalise and understand that people will come and go in our business, in our lives, in our relationships, all of those things and I think we need to start, as an industry, changing the way that we feel because, as you say, inherently in this industry, we are people pleasers. We go into an industry where we want to help and care for other people. Our industry is about pleasing other people and that part of us that lives in all of us, that really wants to be liked, really wants to be accepted and really wants to be told that we're good enough or we're doing enough or that we are enough, literally lives in every single person in the hair and beauty industry and I think that we really need to start to change that. So this is going to be your pep talk, your episode.
Speaker 2:To come back to the day that you are handed a resignation or you have that chat with a team member and your stomach drops and you start to feel a little sweaty and your heart rate starts to rise and you start to go down the rabbit hole of what am I going to do with all these clients in their column? How are people going to perceive it? Do I need to make an announcement on social media? All of those things that run through our heads when this happens? Why me, poor me. What did I not do?
Speaker 2:This is going to be the episode that you're going to come back to. I love that. The first thing that I want to start with is you have done everything that you possibly can to nurture and grow the person that is leaving your team up until this point, even if you become a way better leader in the next six months and you learn from this. Up until this point, it's played out exactly the way that it was meant to. You've done everything in your power to nurture that person and it's their time to move on and go and do something else and I think that as a whole.
Speaker 2:Like I remember we sat in a class once with Michael Kelly and he said we don't own clients. You know, clients have the freedom and should have the freedom to move between stylists, salons, companies, however that looks to them, even within stylists in one team, and we don't own clients. It goes the exact same way with team. We don't own team. They have the freedom and should have the freedom to move freely between being in your business, not being in your business, being in the industry, not being in the industry, and making whatever choice is right for them. What do you want to say to this person in this moment?
Speaker 1:I think it's such a freeing thing. Like even with that and like listening to you, I'm like great. I'm going to play this back because we also know this is going to happen within our business as well. This is something that we really normalise. People will be leaving and it is so important to keep anchoring back into trusting that you've done enough. But for me it's always alignment, like no matter what, every day I want people in our business who want to be there, who are loving what they're doing, loving the work that they're doing, they're inspired, something that every day they have to like you know, walking around with you know sort of vibe, which I think that's been something that has really changed.
Speaker 1:For me. It's not everyone is aligned until they're not, and when they're not aligned anymore, that's okay. It's not a reflection of me, or might be, sometimes it could be, but it's not necessarily a reflection of me or the company or any of those things. Sometimes people just want to go and explore and do something different. And if I start making it about me and the impact that's going to happen on me and like what this looks like for me when someone is bringing me that news that is really going to take from their moment, and I think it is so important because it is so nerve-wracking, it is so stressful. It is, I mean, unless you're like really at the end of your tether and you're like can't wait to do this. But for nine out of ten situations, people are really daunted, anxious, overwhelmed by the idea of handing in a resignation, having that conversation, no matter how it looks, it's a really big thing to do, and what you don't want to be doing in that moment is taking from it and making it about how it's going to look for you and I know that this is a really hard thing because we are people pleasers. It's the same when clients leave, rather than thinking, oh, maybe they've moved or maybe their circumstances have changed, or maybe they've you, you know, their cousin's daughter is now doing hair and needs people to work on we assume I must have done something wrong, I must have made this happen. Just leave yourself out of it for that moment. Let it be what it is, which is, a team member coming to you to resign, and just let that be that moment. Like, truly let that be that moment. Don't worry about the rest, because everything else is fixable, manageable. We prove that time and time again. We as an industry can pivot quick, hard and fast. We do not take long to like we can move really quickly. Someone's called in sick? No problem. We can rearrange the day in like 10 minute columns everywhere, like we are exceptional with how we can make things happen and we need to apply that as well with when team leave.
Speaker 1:Now, if you are upset and we've been in that situation where team members have come to us and it's really heartbreaking, it's really sad, it's really emotional that is also okay. Feel your feelings, but feel them in a moment that is designed for you. Don't feel them in front of the person that has just given you this information, unless it's like a feel good, like it's a moment to really sit on that. But where I had this biggest lesson was when Taya first gave us her resignation. She's back, so it didn't last. But even when that happened and like I say that with absolute jest, my voice the first time around when that happened, I had such an interesting experience at the start I didn't, so I'm going to tell the full story. Nikki was very emotional in that moment and you had a real moment of like, oh my gosh, this is so sad for me, that's fair.
Speaker 2:I actually this is so weird because we just spoke about this on Saturday night with Tay when we went out, yeah, and we talked about, like the weird reactions that we both had and how much we regretted them yeah.
Speaker 1:So that was Nikki was very much like, oh my gosh, this is such a loss for me. I was like she's not gonna leave me. I was like, yeah, cool, thanks for your resignation, tay.
Speaker 2:I know that that that's just going to happen.
Speaker 1:Denial full denial, it's like no, that won't happen. And then so, when it got to that point so I feel you kind of grieved and experienced that with her. And then, when it got to the date for me, I was in denial, denial, denial denial. So the day that she left her final day in the salon I was a fucking mess. I did not stop crying the whole day.
Speaker 2:You didn't want to talk when I would be like okay, cool, we've got a plan for like the position or what we're going to do. You're like no, I don't think she's going to go. And I was like oh, it's just that they've like, they've built their van. They've like, made a day, they've, they've cancelled their lease, like I think she's probably going to go and you're like it's all a joke, trust me.
Speaker 1:I was like, even when she came to the salon in the van, I was like I know you're not really going, which she did Shocking no one. She did go, but her final day in the salon she would only remember me being absolutely fucking hysterical, because I could not stop crying and truly was like clinging to her when she was leaving. And then, I think, when she finally plied my little arms off her, she kind of, I think, when she finally plied my little arms off her, she kind of… …I think someone else scooped in and held me… …and I just cried on them for the next two hours. And it was such a defining moment for me because I realised… …wow, this is so not okay what I've just done. I have made this, first of all, not acknowledge some of them… …when they have actually gone. I've made it all about how devastated I am rather than how exciting it is for her. And it was the most humbling moment for me because I realized, well, I will never do that again, I will never repeat that ever again. But that doesn't mean that I don't love the team members that are leaving after that any less. It just is. I was so aware of the. My reaction was so inappropriate and so like it took from her moment, and I'll never do that again. I will never take from someone's moment again, and so I haven't since then, which it can look.
Speaker 1:I remember even the next resignation we got after that. I think it was almost like this like, oh, like Tess isn't as upset. No, tess learnt how to handle it a lot better and start remembering that this wasn't about me, it was about the person in front of me. I think that is something that we miss so much. We just focus on because it is our company and it is our business and we do have a lot more responsibility. It does impact us. I get it. I get all those things. They're all true. I'm not saying they're not true, but you don't need to focus and address them in that moment. Sometimes it can be really hard to just like swallow it for a second, put on a smile and say amazing, what are you planning on doing?
Speaker 1:What's coming next. That's really exciting. Obviously, I'm really sad to be losing you, but I'm really excited for you. Yeah, wow.
Speaker 2:I love that. It was funny because we were in the car driving on Saturday night with Tay and we were talking about this exact thing. How weird that it's coming up. But I shared in that moment, like when we're sitting in my office and Tay, I said like I've never felt so much anxiety before and sitting down with you guys for a meeting, like we were doing a planning day at my place and we were so excited to be working together and like just to be planning and whatever and it I could not see it coming. It like it was one time in business.
Speaker 1:I think I remember being like oh yeah, I've taken some deep breaths um, but I did not see it coming.
Speaker 2:It would just come out of lockdowns. And it was a really sensitive time anyway. It just felt like we were just about to get back on track and it came from like what I would say would felt out of out of nowhere and it was because we hadn't created a safe enough environment for her to have that conversation beforehand. It's also obviously her prerogative to have that conversation wherever she wanted, but because we had had so much ownership over her and feeling like she is our person, which is a fucked up amount of pressure to put on a team member Well, obviously we had a really great relationship with her, a great friendship with her, and we hadn't created an environment that where it was safe to talk about those sort of things beforehand. So it felt really left field.
Speaker 2:But from her point of view, she I understand, because she's like I never felt like there was a time yeah, and she shared it when we're driving the car, which she's never shared before. She was like I had so much anxiety that day coming in and I was so terrified and I was on the phone to my husband, josh, beforehand, saying to him like I can't do this, I can't do this and he was like it's okay, you can. And when she sat in front of us and said you know, I'm gonna move to to Queensland, I'm gonna go road tripping and I'm gonna leave, it was such a massive moment and, as you say, the only person I thought about in that moment was myself, which I said I shared with her on Saturday night. I said I'm fucking disgusted in myself that I thought like that. But the first person I thought of was how's this going to affect me?
Speaker 1:what does?
Speaker 2:this mean for me? What does this mean for my business? Like, not nothing about celebrating her and saying, fuck, I'm so proud of you. This is so cool. How incredible to be in your 20s, you know, living in a van with your husband going up to Queensland, starting this whole new life. I'm so proud of you. And that would have been the scariest thought for them absolutely to move with nothing and and start this whole new life. It would have been so scary, so exciting for them and we could, as you say, we completely took from that moment yeah, you in your way of that avoidance until the last moment. And then for me, in my way of just complete and utter self-absorption, of just like, what does this mean for me? And in front of it, this is so, so fucking vulnerable of me, but in front of her I remember taking a few deep breaths and just saying to her.
Speaker 1:I need a minute, so like.
Speaker 2:I just want to be honest. Yeah, I said like I need a minute. This was also four years ago or something. I was like I need a minute and I took myself outside and took some deep breath because I felt like I was going to get really emotional and that I was really like I don't even know if the word frustrated is it definitely wasn't frustration but I was just overwhelmed at the thought and I totally felt this feeling of like how could she choose this over choosing us? Nikki, I was like you're not going to do that Don't be stupid, you're not going to be.
Speaker 2:It's disgraceful and I said that to her. I said like I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:She came back there, didn't she? But?
Speaker 2:I said to her I'm so sorry for that moment. I'm so sorry for disempowering you. And I'm so sorry for taking away from such a special moment for you and I said to her I will always feel this like, this feeling of like. Why did I do that?
Speaker 1:well, thankfully she didn't remember that, because she remembered me clinging to her at the door she said she had no memory of it and I was like oh yeah, I know. Well, good thing you brought it back up, I'm gonna get her to really focus on that and less on the.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I want people to hear this, because the way that you are feeling right now, it's okay to be human and have a human experience but it's also really important to acknowledge, as you say, that's so hard for that person to get to that moment where they feel that they can be honest and as much as we're saying, you know, as salon owners, where people pleases the people that work in our salons are people pleases as well. There is a part of them that wants to please everybody and they want to please you majority of the time. Yeah, whoever's listening to this in this moment, whether you have, whether you're listening to this episode and you're not in that season, at the moment where you haven't had a resignation this week, or if you have come specifically to this episode because you have a resignation in your inbox from today, I want you to hear our words in saying you will be okay.
Speaker 2:Fundamentally, we've been in business for 12 years over 12 years with our salon and we have had dozens of people come in and out of our doors and we have always been okay, always. We've always worked it out. We've always pivoted. We've had people. We've always pivoted. We've had people leave on incredible terms. We've had people leave and come back. We've had people leave on disastrous terms. We've sacked a lot of people. You will always be okay and in this moment, even though your ego feels bruised, you feel anxious, you feel overwhelmed, you feel betrayed, whatever's coming up for you, I want you to hear my words and saying that you will be okay and this is happening exactly the way that it is meant to.
Speaker 2:I love that tess? Is there anything you want?
Speaker 1:to add to no, I think that's perfect, like it's okay, it's gonna, and like I think, sticking into no, I think you summed it up perfectly. I really think, like you know and everything passes, it always passes Like this is how you're feeling in this moment, it will continue. This is going to be a period of time, not forever. Keep going. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.
Speaker 2:Well, I always think of Jess, like I think Jess came into our world and at the perfect time where I was like, oh, I don't know if I want to open myself up to another team member. And then along came Jess. You know, I thought that about Amelia. I was like, oh my gosh, I don't know if I want to open myself up to another emerging team member. And then along came Amelia. Like we've had some incredible women who have come to us when we have felt at a very low point.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, just anchoring into the fact that, this is all happening exactly the way it's meant to happening for you not to you. Love that. Thank you guys so much for listening to another episode of the conscious salon podcast. Love you guys. Stay conscious.
