Founders on the Couch: Our team leader put us in the hot seat

What happens when your own team puts you in the hot seat?

In this special episode, the tables are turned as Team Leader Tae takes over the podcast, asking Nic and Tess the questions they weren't expecting. What starts as a fun role reversal quickly becomes one of the most honest and vulnerable conversations they've ever shared.

Together, they reflect on the moments that shaped who they are as leaders, from childhood experiences and personal challenges to grief, motherhood, business ownership, and the lessons that continue to influence how they lead today.

This isn't a conversation about having all the answers. It's about becoming more self-aware, leading with intention, and recognising that great leadership begins with understanding yourself.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• 🎙️ What happened when Nic and Tess swapped seats and became the ones answering the questions
• 🌱 How childhood experiences continue to shape leadership, relationships, and decision-making
• 🧠 Why nervous system regulation is one of the most underrated leadership skills
• ❤️ The lessons grief, motherhood, and challenging seasons taught them about resilience
• 💬 How "proving energy" can quietly impact the way you lead your team and your life
• ⏳ Why you don't need to have everything figured out by a certain age
• 🌟 The leadership moments they're most proud of, and why they have nothing to do with business success

Whether you're leading a salon, growing a business, or simply navigating a season of personal growth, this episode is a reminder that conscious leadership starts from within.

To follow our journey:
Instagram @aheadhair_
@the_conscious_salon

Transcript

Sponsor And Hot Seat Setup

SPEAKER_03 0:52

This episode of the Conscious Salon Podcast is brought to you by CPR Hair. Welcome back to another episode of the Conscious Salon Podcast. I'm sure you're thinking Nikki is sounding a little bit different today.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

She never sounded better. We've um we've changed it up, so Nikki's Nikki's on the couch with me today. I'm taking control today.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

I'm putting the girls in the hot seat.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

She's um she's got the big the big boss pants on. I'm a bit nervous. So Tay, walk us through what we're gonna do today.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

So today I'm going to ask Nick and Tess some questions. I had no guidance, so um we'll see how we go.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

But you said we're gonna do a little hot seat gig. Um and there was no boundary on the questions, so I hope you've gone hard. I have.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

I had said that I will not answer any sex questions. No, I'm not.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

I mean, and Nikki did the same thing, and I'm just saying fire away.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

So I do my best work. That's just a no.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

Tess thought that we didn't want to waste anyone's time by talking about that.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

But yeah, like I've just got better things to discuss. That's not what it ought to know. But I feel like that's when people like ask us anything, I feel like people like every time we've got a questions box.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

Every time we've got a questions box, people always ask sex questions, and I'm like, it's just such a what do we have? It's such a weird thing that you do to pick our brain on anything with such a toilet, but you go there.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

But anyway, go for the way Taito. Alrighty, before I get into the questions, Nick and Tats always have an introduction for their guests on their podcast. I thought I'm gonna write an introduction today.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Oh my god, cute! I feel like I want to film this. Thank you.

unknown 2:26

So cute.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

All right. Um, I just want to- Wait, is it a roast? I'm not I just want to say that an introduction feels almost impossible to write because how do I put into words the how do I put into words the people who have changed my life? Oh today's guests are two women who need little introduction to this community, but they deserve every word I'm about to say. I'm shaking. I feel like I'm gonna cry. Nick and Tess are obviously the founders of Ahead and the Conscious Salon and the hosts of this podcast. Over the last 13 years, they've built their businesses and completed challenge have completely challenged what it means to be successful in our industry. They didn't just build a thriving salon, they built a community,

Taya’s Introduction And Big Feelings

SPEAKER_03 3:13

a place where people feel safe, seen, celebrated, and genuinely cared for. Through the conscious salon, they've mentored salon owners and the leaders around the country, sharing their wisdom on conscious leadership, nervous, sorry, I'm so nervous, nervous system regulation, that was weird timing, business, culture, relationships, and what it looks like to create a success without losing yourself along the way. But today I don't want to introduce them for what they've built. I want to introduce them because of who they are. I've been thinking a lot about how describe these two women, and honestly, I don't think I could ever, I don't think I could truly ever. What am I even reading? I don't think I ever truly couldn't. Don't get me to read it. Ever truly could, they mean the absolute world to me. I wouldn't be the person I am here today without them. They believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. They challenged me, supported me, held space for me, and given me the safety to grow into the person I'm becoming.

unknown 4:17

Help!

SPEAKER_03 4:19

They taught me to regulate myself instead of react. They've shown me what a real leadership looks like and what compassion looks like, and generally care for people while they're still looking after themselves. They've taught me that success isn't just about what you achieve, it's about how you make people feel. And and because I've experienced firsthand, I'm so passionate about what we're doing. I've seen the effect the ripple effect through I've seen the effects ripple through it. Oh my god, what is wrong with me today? I've seen the effects that have ripped through business and into people's lives. I know how much it has changed mine, and I want others to experience this too. One of my favorite things about these two is how beautifully different they are. Nick is the calm, the grounded one, the structured thinker. Were you there this morning with you bossing me around? The structured thinker who brings clarity, wisdom, and a sense of peace wherever she goes. Tess is the creative spark. She brings the energy, the fun, the big ideas, and the beautiful chaos that remind us not to take life too seriously.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

I knew chaos was going to be in there.

SPEAKER_03 5:32

Of course it was. Chaos Queen. Separately, they are incredible, but together they're something really special. They balance each other in ways that's impossible not to admire. They are not just my bosses, they are my mentors, my biggest supporters, my friends, and over the years have become family. Sisters in every sense of the word. They constantly put themselves in rooms where they can learn, grow, and evolve because they know that oh that they know they can only take others as far as they are willing to go themselves. They live with courage and curiosity, and because of that, they've impacted thousands of people throughout the industry. Today the tables are turning, and I'm usually the one in the hot seat, but I'm going to put them in the hot seat. So welcome our guest, Nick Empest. That made me cry.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

That is so beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 6:21

I really wish I read that better.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

I love that it wasn't, but like I love you, and that's made me really emotional, and I'm happy to take a question on a blowjob.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

But the bonus one at the end.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

That was fucking stunning. Thank you. I love you forever. Um that threw me the morning.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

She didn't laugh after the preface puppy. She was like a run out of a driver. I was going for a walk like that.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

I was like, but Tina, who am I gonna play with? Um, Tana, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

That was incredible, and um, I will cherish that. That was absolutely beautiful. Thank you very much, and I'm sure you're buttering us up for the diabolical.

SPEAKER_03 7:15

No, I'm actually, I feel like my questions aren't as fun as what you think they're gonna be.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

How hard is it to read those, by the way? Whenever we have a guest and who has a really emotional story, I'm like, it's so emotional to read it out, and it can be so nerve-wracking. So you did an amazing job. Thank you. All right, hit us with the questions.

SPEAKER_03 7:30

All right, well, yeah, they're not as fun as what you're probably hoping, but these are the questions that I would really love to know. So I would love to know what is a childhood memory that still shapes who you are today.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

I'm really fucked up on the game in my head. Like, not a fight. I I nearly drowned when I was a kid. So it's like you remember that. Yeah. Oh my god. Oh my god. Love the water. Obviously, named my son River. Didn't call him ocean.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

That's where I knew Yeah, but no, I nearly Oh my god, yeah. So hang on, has that shaped me who I am? Yeah, I think so, because like that was something that like so context on that. I think I was about I was young, I think I was about five, and you were about three. Maybe I was four and you were two. You're a toddler. And dad, I think had gone, we're up in Queensland, and dad had gone for a surf or something out in the the more unclear,

Childhood Memories That Still Shape Us

SPEAKER_01 8:29

where did I want to be? Out with all the big kids doing all the big things. That's something that plays out a lot for me as a child, especially, constantly injuring myself or getting into dangerous situations because I wanted to prove myself. But I yeah, so I went, got stuck in a rib. Mum had to leave Nikki and come and get me, and then she got stuck in the rip.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

Mum left me on the beach by myself, and I was like, two, which I was like, that's got some marks around it.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

You she couldn't watch me drown when you were building a sand castle, and like you hated the beach, so she was fairly confident that you weren't gonna go into the water.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

And so she came out and she also started getting pulled down, and then there was a guy there who um came and grabbed it, but they both got rescued.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Yeah, crazy. Well, we've never unpacked this with a therapist. We should bring this into Eliza's.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

But it didn't like mess me up. But I literally remember that feeling of like I was so little, and I remember I still can see going under and being really scared that like, oh my god, this is in game. But um didn't got got straight back up on that board and I love the beach. So did that change anything? Did that answer that question? Probably not. That's what came into my head.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

We'll go with that. That's wild. Like, how am I supposed to follow that? Um, the first thing that popped into my head, which I was actually gonna lie and say it was something different, but I was gonna go with it, was when we were Mum left me at the beach. No, but I'm like, I'm also unpacking that trauma. No, I'm thinking about. Do you know what I'm gonna say? No. The only childhood memory I have was when we went to the Detman's house and Tess reached in and wanted to get the the mail for the Detman family who were like at the end of our street. Tess wanted to get the mail, and then I was saying, no, I want to get the mail and give it to the dad or the mum or whoever it was. And um, Tess grabbed it out of the mailbox and I grabbed her arm and bit her on the arm to get the mail, and then I got the mail and gave it to the um people that I got we got into like heaps of trouble. But what I'm realizing now is like the moral of that story is that's how it's affected me later in life is just step on anyone to get to the top.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

You need to start biting Pesasama more often.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

The fact that I don't remember that, I feel like all I remember from our childhood.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

You know when I I'm like blank till 18 years old, except for that. Wow. Pretty much. Yeah. Alrighty.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

There you go. Are we answering this way? Yeah, okay, cool.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

All right. What is the hardest season of your life you've experienced and how did it change you?

SPEAKER_01 11:01

That's a big one. Um I feel like, I mean, obviously, mine was when Al passed away. That's my best friend who passed away when we were 27. That was full on. I've spoken about that a lot. I'm actually going to pivot from that. This season's pretty stretchy. This season's been pretty big. This season has definitely, I think, pushed us to new levels. And although it is I think back to my word of the year, which actually fucked up on a podcast a few weeks ago. I said expanded. It wasn't, it's elevated.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

Expanded was yours like two or three years ago, too.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Yeah, and when I fell pregnant, which is hysterical that happened. Elevated was the one that I've done this year. And we

The Hardest Seasons And COVID Pressure

SPEAKER_01 11:49

are elevating and we are moving into the next level. I think I thought elevated was gonna be like um just like fine-tuning, I would say. And I feel like it has pushed us into a whole new realm which has felt really uncomfortable and it feels so much has come up, inner critics come up. Um like imposter syndrome, like who the fuck do I think I am to be going and doing these events or speaking like this or showing up the way that I am. But outside of that, like the mum guilt, like um I we've had a lot of time away from our families, we've sacrificed a lot, we've moved a lot, and we've held a lot. And I think this season of has been really, really, really stretchy.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

So now I'm gonna say COVID as a new mum. 100%. I think I was like, I'm not mentally well. It was just fucked, it was like so insane. And obviously different version of ourselves now, I'd handle it completely differently. Um, but feeling the responsibility for everyone in the team and prioritizing saving our business over being a new mum is like it was so fucked, so fucked on so many different levels. And I don't even know if I would say, like, you know how everyone's like, oh, I'm just really grateful for that that that happened. Um, I don't think I'm there yet. And I'm like, no, that was really fucked up. And just all of the anxiety that people felt in Melbourne was insane. For sure.

SPEAKER_03 13:26

Um what is the hardest truth someone has ever told you that ultimately changed your life for the better?

SPEAKER_02 13:35

I've got mine straight away. Beautiful. One of my mentors told me I give proving energy. She was like, You try too hard and you give proving energy. And I remember it was like a slap in the face. And I was like, but I don't. And she was like, You're doing it now. And it was like a real that was one of many wake-up calls that I've had, but I remember her, she was like, You don't need to prove like you you're giving like too much proving energy. And from that day forward, I was like, Whoa, I have to stop trying to prove my worth or prove why I'm good or prove my value. And I was like, Done. It was like such a slap in the face, but I remember being like, this is a defining moment.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Oh, I'm trying to think of one. Can you repeat the question again, do you? Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 14:23

Um,

Hard Truths That Changed Our Path

SPEAKER_03 14:24

it was what is the hard truth that someone has told you and then it's changed you for the better.

SPEAKER_01 14:33

Oh fuck me. Do you know what like I think has been one of my biggest like I don't know it was a hard truth, but just like just something that I've just I constantly go back to every time and I'd I'd want to like people please or keep like trying to do something. Like I always think about I was always in this rush to like get through life and achieve everything at such a like young age, right? So it was like, you know, we opened a business at 21 and 23. You know, I remember turning 30 and being like, oh my god, I'm like not with my person, and like um I haven't had a baby, and like you know, what does this look like? And you know, shockingly, met Mick that year. I had a baby at 300 years old, however old I was at the time. What I've actually realized in this is such a fucking rush, and I hear like so many young women at like 19, 20 who are like thinking that they need to have like all their ducks in a row. One of the excuse me, one of the biggest things that I realized was that time is not linear and it doesn't fucking matter, and you move at your own timeline. Because if you are I'm 36 now, about to turn 37. If I live to 70, I'm halfway through my life.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

Mum and dad are 70.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

But I'm just saying stretch it out a bit. You live to 90. But even if I do, like say, say I'm just gonna do for like, but even if I do for like, yeah, if I live to if I live to 90, that means that I'm not yet halfway through my life. So what is the fucking rush to get everything done so quickly?

SPEAKER_02 16:15

So what was your hard truth?

SPEAKER_01 16:16

Hard truth, go at your own pace, and it doesn't fucking matter. Like don't rush. There's no rush. We have so much time. Enjoy it. That's a good one. That's my hard truth.

SPEAKER_03 16:28

Uh what do you think your youngest self would be most surprised about your life today?

SPEAKER_02 16:35

I say that I'm in the hair and beauty industry. I reckon that I'd be like, what? Nicky, what are you doing? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

Well, you had a lot of different jobs when we were younger, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

I always thought I was gonna go into media and like video production. That is very you.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

You still do do a lot of that though.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

I just think I'd be surprised.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Younger Me, I think you know, I think Younger Me would be so proud. I think about like the girl that dropped out of school and like had their um, you know, uh year-level coordinator trying to expel me first of all from a public school. Not gonna happen to us. But that whole way that that played out, I really felt like I was destined to fail. And I remember people thinking that I like I literally thought that I wasn't gonna achieve anything.

What Younger Us Would Notice

SPEAKER_01 17:28

That when I go back to that version of like the dropout that felt like she had no future or um Yeah, I think I I would like she'd feel pretty proud of like the fact that I'm sitting here with two businesses and a podcast.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

It's so wholesome. I'm really regretting like telling the bite on the arm story now. I like it.

SPEAKER_03 17:48

Let's bring it back. Little nibble.

unknown 17:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Yeah, I think that. That's definitely it. Yeah, just going back. I think she'd be like, fuck it, girl, good for you. Fuck those teachers. School's not for everyone.

SPEAKER_03 18:03

Alright, my last question is when have you been the most proud of yourself? Not because of what you've achieved, but because of how you handled a moment.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

Okay, well, I'm gonna go because I'm gonna talk from the I think for me, one of the things that I'm most proud of, especially with like there's so many things there. It's like business, there's family, there's kids, there's like our partners, like so friends, everything. I'm most proud of when we started therapy. And we made a decision to stop the continual cycle that we've had for so many years. And even though it's been uncomfortable and even though it's been stretchy and we've been triggered and we've had all of the things, that's something I am so proud of because I feel like the impact and the ripple effect that we will have from that and have had from that.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

True.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

That's something I'm really proud of.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

That's amazing.

Proud Moments And Regulated Responses

SPEAKER_02 19:06

Okay, can you repeat the question?

SPEAKER_01 19:08

And also when I was in the state team for a lot of sports.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

Not what you've achieved, Tess. Not what you've achieved.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Well that was. I've still got mum's still got all my jackets.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

Tell me the question again because I I feel like I'm gonna understand it wrong. But basically, what are you the most proud of in your in a moment that's like shaped you?

SPEAKER_03 19:26

What was it? What when have you been the most proud of yourself? Not because of what you've achieved, but how you've handed a moment or handled a session.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

I think there's been so many leadership, like when I think work-wise, there's been so many leadership moments that have been like diabolically fucked, where I've been like, okay, don't be an automatic, switch into manual, like remove all the drama, look at this person, and to see like where they're coming from. So many moments like that. I could count that like so many times. Um, I think one thing that just jumped out at me was when you resigned. I think it was like I remember being I I I think that the person that I was back then probably wanted to respond in a completely different way. But I think that we did the best that we could with what we had at the time. But that was something that jumped out at me, just being like, okay, it's it's gonna be okay. But even though we were like, this is fucking terrible, this is the worst case. Um, but that jumped out at me. And then I think with family stuff, I think it's always my relationship with Pete, like going back to the foundations of that and the um how we work through things together. Like even he gave me um, like he gave me some feedback the other day, and he was like, I feel really like disconnected from you at the moment. And immediately in that moment, was I telling you this the other day?

SPEAKER_01 20:44

No, me.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

Uh yeah, and immediately in that moment, I was like, I I feel so stretched right now, I don't have anything to give anyone. I feel like I'm not giving myself anything. How can you just want more from me? Like, I feel like everywhere at the moment I I really felt that pressure of like I just feel like I'm doing a shit job everywhere, and I feel like everyone's telling me I'm doing a shit job everywhere. And I had that real moment of like, as soon as he said to me, like, oh, we just haven't spent any time together, blah, blah, blah. It felt like a complaint. And my body went, like, oh, he's he's telling me I'm not doing enough for him. And then I said to him, I'm just gonna try and really under like put myself in your shoes and understand where you're at. Like, I'm hearing that you want to spend more time together. I'm hearing that you you want that more quality time. And he was like, Yeah, I just really miss you. And I was like, Fuck. And then I said to him straight away, thank you for giving me that feedback. Like, I really appreciate you giving me that feedback. And we had this really beautiful conversation that would have been so different five years ago. So different. Yeah, and then just you know, little spa, little pash, bottle of champagne. Solves everything, solves it all.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Would you like to answer the blow job question?

SPEAKER_02 21:48

Um, but I think that, yeah, like those those moments of just being like, oh, I can choose to really be different here.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Absolutely. Thank you guys for answering my questions. I know what if I'm probably cool.

SPEAKER_02 21:59

I want to throw like a rogue one of like something wild. I don't know. I'm not very wild.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

Daddy, throw one. Have you got one? Do you want to ask the thing?

SPEAKER_03 22:08

Is it something you would all right? What did what is a question you thought I was gonna ask? I thought you were gonna ask about money. Oh I thought you were gonna ask about it. Get up your account. I thought a lot more um emotional, but I did message Kate Morris, she hasn't replied yet. I was like, send me your questions because I know they hit you hard and I want you to get some paper, but she didn't answer it.

SPEAKER_02 22:27

So we have to do another episode. I thought you were gonna ask about like controversial things like what's the worst thing a team member's done, or like something about money, I thought you would ask.

SPEAKER_03 22:34

Well, we have to do another episode now. Another episode. Okay. Guys, I'm taking over.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

Guys, I just think it's important to note when you said about Taya's resignation.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Hope that didn't jump scare anyone. Taya hasn't resigned, but she did many years ago.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

Yeah, she resigned.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

Came back though, didn't she?

SPEAKER_03 22:48

Came back, exactly. Taya, do you want to take us out? Thank you guys so much for coming and talking to me

Rogue Questions And Next Time

SPEAKER_03 22:54

and let me taking over. No, you two, but thank you guys for listening to another episode of the Conscious Element podcast.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Yay, love you, Taya. Thank you for the beautiful words before. Love you guys. Stay conscious.