Podcast 68: Those Who Shaped Us: Honoring the Living & the Crossed

In this episode, Sally and Betty reflect on the people who shaped them—teachers, friends, family, and loved ones who have crossed over. They share simple practices for honoring those relationships through gratitude, ritual, and everyday kindness, even in difficult times.

The conversation also returns to a grounding practice often shared by Linda: when something can’t be resolved, place it in the basket of love and light and let it rest there.

A steady reminder that love, compassion, and connection are practices we carry forward.

#TwoCronesAndAMicrophone #CroneWisdom #GratitudePractice #Ancestors #HonoringLovedOnes #Remembrance #Compassion #LoveAndLight #Glimmer #SpiritualPractice #EnergyHealing #Reiki #TherapeuticTouch #Friendship #CommunityCare #StayingGrounded #MuddyWaters #PeaceBeWithYou #EverydayKindness #GriefSupport

Transcript

BETTY: Hi, everybody. We are Two Crones in a Microphone, and there are only two of us here today. I am Betty.

SALLY: And I’m Sally. Linda is still off and running on other things right now, so you’re just going to get the two of us spouting forth our crone wisdom for the next, I don’t know, 20 or 30 minutes.

BETTY: Today we thought what we would talk about was women who have affected us, or people who have affected us, really. I’m sure there are a few men in there. We’re both in our 70s now. We’re looking back. Some of those people are still with us. Some are not. Quite a few of them are not, in my case, right? Or some older than Sally.

Honestly, I truly believe that the people who cross, they’re still with us. They don’t really go away. How many times have I called on my Aunt Seal, my mother, my dad, for help? Because I do believe that they are there to help us once they cross over.

If you want more information on this type of thing, Purdita Finn has done a great job, and is still doing a great job, talking about all this. She has writings on, I believe, Substack and Threads, and she has a couple of books out. There’s another one coming out. It’s an interesting journey that you embark upon when they leave.

What triggered the podcast really was one of our teachers, Dolores Ashcraft Noiki, who crossed over within the past two weeks. She was 95 and lived a really good, full life. We loved being with her and learning with her. She had quite the sense of humor, and it was always a joy to have her in my house. I was absolutely thrilled every time she was here.

Her death really impacted me, and it started me thinking about all of this. I was talking to Sally about it. We were trying to come up with a theme for today’s podcast, and we thought maybe this one would make the most sense: talking about those people in our lives who have greatly impacted us, and what that looks like.

I have moved a lot in my adult life and have had to say goodbye to a lot of friends—some of whom I stay in touch with, some of whom have moved on in other directions, just as I’ve moved on. Whether it’s family members—parents, of course—but there are an equal number of friends and coworkers that have deeply impacted our lives. What do we do about that? How do we incorporate that into our lives?

I know we did want to spend some time acknowledging not just Oh Shinnah, but also Dolores.

SALLY: Mm-hmm.

BETTY: I would say the two teachers that have impacted me the most in this realm have been the two of them. Many times I have said on the podcast that Oh Shinnah saved my life, and I believe that she did. Dolores had a different kind of impact. She was more in the esoteric realm, I would say, than Oh Shinnah was. The things she taught us about energy and how we live our lives were really interesting—and the people she brought into our lives also.

She came with her friend Ray one time, and he was—oh my God—he was a character. He was absolutely amazing. I don’t think Ray is still with us. We can’t seem to get in touch with him. He lives in Australia. But I do think of him frequently because he left us a gift before he left with Dolores that one time, and so there’s like a part of him here. He left that gift for us.

It’s those types of people that you look back on and think: yeah, I’m in this dilemma right now, but something will pop into your head and you go, okay, I can do this. I can say this prayer. I can do this ceremony. I can do this energetic shift. All these things that were taught by these different people in our lives.

I’m not going to go into a description of their lives—that would take up too much time. But I highly recommend that you look Dolores up. She just died recently. Her name is Dolores Ashcraft Noiki. And of course, Oh Shinnah Fast Wolf—we’ve talked about her many times. You can look her up also. And if you have any questions, please get in touch with us. We leave our information so it’s easy for you to find us, and we would love to talk to you about this.

When I sat and thought about this, I thought to myself: when was the first time that an outside person, other than my parents, had an impact on me? I came up with my Uncle Tom. He died very young, but I knew him for probably the first three years of my life—enough that I can remember him. He had this tremendous impact on me because that guy was pure love. He adored me, and as a little kid, you know that, right? I couldn’t wait to see him. I couldn’t wait to get up into his lap and talk to him. Who knows what a three-year-old talks about? I don’t know. But whatever it was, he was always very interested.

I have his picture, and I still talk to him. Why not? We’re Irish. We’re always talking to our dead.

His wife was my Aunt Seal, and she was another one that had a huge impact on my life. She died years after him, but she was a big part of our family and taught me many things—how to operate in the world. She was kind of like Auntie Mame, you know? She came from a poor background. My dad came from a poor background. This was his sister, and she married a wealthy man, and honest to God, she recreated herself. She taught me you can kind of be anybody you want to be. I didn’t realize this until I grew up, but I would often look back and go, oh my God. She would have the furs, the jewelry, and how she carried herself—in a restaurant, when we were out. She was elegant. She was elegant.

So I would encourage you to sit back and think about those who have impacted your life. I can have legions of people—legions. My sisters, my sisters in spirit, my sisters who are with me now—they’ve impacted me tremendously. Sally, you’ve impacted me, and you know that. I’ve told you a hundred times.

So how do you honor these people? How do you keep the relationship going? I’m going to let Sally talk about that for a little bit.

SALLY: So I think that’s a really great question: how do we continue to honor people in our lives?

I know it’s really important, especially when I’ve been moving, to take time with the friends I’ve known, to talk with them about how important they were, and the impact they’ve had on me and on my life. You always negotiate: are you going to stay in touch, or are you going to move in your different directions? But taking the time to say goodbye—saying goodbye in a direct way—is important. Even when people are ill, it matters to talk about those relationships.

That’s the talking part. The other thing I think is important is: people say, “Well, I can’t really say how somebody impacted my life because they’re no longer here.” But that doesn’t mean you can’t write a letter, or a poem, or draw a picture—some way to symbolically hold the impact they’ve had in your life. Or maybe it’s just random words. The impact can be positive. It can be complicated. But to write down those things, or say them out loud—those ways people have impacted us—that matters.

My favorite thing is that I’m kind of a saver. The earrings I put on today, I put on because my friend—who I worked with for years—gave me these earrings. She died quite young of MS, but I’ve kept them for over 40 years. Every time I put them on, I think of her, and I say a little prayer of gratitude for her presence in my life.

And the necklace I have on belonged to our friend Sylvia Weber, who died just in the past year. She had a much longer presence—she was in her 80s—but she was powerful, quirky, fun, loving. I always associate her with rose quartz because she talked about how important it was to come from love, and how rose quartz helps us come from a place of love.

So when I put things on, or look at somebody’s picture, I do those things regularly. That’s my way of keeping people in my life—whether they’re living in a different state, or whether they’ve crossed over. With gratitude: thinking of people with gratitude, and what they brought into my life.

Maybe I rambled, but I’d say: take time. Maybe you don’t journal, meditate, or pray every day, but surround yourself with things that help you express gratitude for those who are not maybe anymore in your day-to-day life.

BETTY: Yeah, I do the same. I’m a saver also. Particularly with Sylvia, who we both knew—I talked to her every single week, and now she’s not on this plane, but I’m still talking to her. Is she listening? I’m totally convinced that she is, and laughing. I can hear her laugh now.

I’m blessed to have some of her things. The last time she was here—before she was sick—she left me her shawl. She said, “When you put this on, you’ll feel my arms wrapped around you.” I was like, I’m going to start crying, which probably won’t be good for the podcast because you get all snipply. But it’s those things that comfort you—at least they comfort me—because I can feel their presence. I can actually feel their presence.

If I’m down or having a bad day, I call Fran. You guys know Fran—we did a podcast with her. I called her the other day. I was upset about something and I said, I just have to talk to you for a second. Fran spends a lot of time here. She comes up to visit and we hang out. We don’t do anything super-duper; we just hang out, watch pottery shows or baking shows. I’m neither one of those things, but I enjoy watching them. We enjoy being in each other’s energy, and that’s such a blessing.

I’m always telling her, because I do think we need to let people know what they mean to us—especially in this day and age. The world is so crazy right now, and you don’t know what’s coming around the corner. You really don’t. I turn the news on once a day and I’m always like, oh my God, what happened? Oh no.

SALLY: That’s why we call it the muddy waters of our times.

BETTY: Yes. It certainly is. But it’s not specific to our time. My mom went through World War II. She was here in the United States, but my dad was overseas. She went through all that trauma. This isn’t new.

What is different is the fact that we can communicate now. Mom would write letters to him; he would write letters back. It took forever for them to come from wherever he was in the Pacific. A lot of it was redacted. Today, you want to talk to somebody, you pick up your phone.

However, Sally, you do communicate a lot in writing. You send cards. You send little notes to people. That’s really nice. It’s an old way of doing things.

SALLY: I think that important message—telling people constantly what they mean to us—taking the time to resolve misunderstandings, anger, frustration when you disagree—not waiting to take care of those things. And I love your example of letting Fran know all the time how important she is.

Letting people in your life know—coworkers too. I’m always shocked: even if I’m in line at Walmart and I thank the cashier who’s working really hard, thanking them for what they’re doing—something as simple as that. Nobody smiles in elevators anymore. So it’s important: gratitude, being gracious, being appreciative. We need to make sure that stays in the world, and it doesn’t all become anger and frustration spilling out everywhere.

We talk about the importance of bringing love and compassion into every day, no matter how we do that. And it’s not that we don’t know other things are happening. But balancing that with love and compassion is so important. That’s why we come from that space and place. We want the podcast itself to carry the energy of peacefulness, gratitude, compassion, and honoring each other—and all of you listening—so that energy reaches out in a good way. Because it needs to.

BETTY: You know, I teach that in many different ways. One is Reiki classes. If you see something going on, even if it’s on TV, you can send energy—peaceful, compassionate energy. It doesn’t have to be Reiki. It could just be coming from your heart.

Our teachers told us that. Dora Kunz taught that. Oh Shinnah taught that. Dolores talked about that. Because energy—yes, you can send out bad energy, which is rampant all over social media these days. Sally, I know you don’t do social media, but I have to tell you: it is infected. Infected and wrong in so many ways. And you have to try and balance that out.

If enough of us sent out that energy, it would make a huge difference. I really believe that. Whatever prayers you say, whoever you pray to, keep it up, and ask the ancestors to help.

SALLY: We started out talking about those people who have impacted our lives, and making sure we acknowledge them—whether they’re present in our lives now, or they’ve crossed over. Every single person that I think of, and the impact they’ve had—they moved in the world with love and compassion. That was the model they gave me, and that’s what I want to bring forward.

Does that mean I don’t sometimes get angry or frustrated? No. But what do I choose to do with that, and how do I turn that around?

We invite you to look at those things in your own life: the impact people have had on you, or are having on you, and bring that to some kind of resolution—some kind of peaceful and loving resolution. We’re responsible for that.

BETTY: Yes, we are. And we have the ability to do that. We’ve been practicing this for years—20, 30 years at least.

I live in a small town and I’ve had it happen where people have confronted me about my beliefs or my teachings. The one thing I make sure I do—other than putting up the shield to protect myself—is I take peace and compassion and I keep thinking: “Peace be with you. Peace be with you. Peace be with you.” Because if I react and come back at them, it escalates. But if I’m standing there thinking “peace be with you,” that’s the energy going out to them.

It may hit me later—what right did they have?—but in the moment, I’m trying to get peace and compassion out there. We’re not telling you to roll over. You have to protect yourself. But one of the ways you do is by putting out the good stuff and not the bad stuff.

If you’re watching TV and you see all this craziness—riots and things—send out peaceful energy. Send it out to that event. We know time is not linear, right? Even if the event happened yesterday, you can still send that out to all those people who are there. And I mean all of them. I believe with my whole heart and soul it’s really important today.

SALLY: So our wisdom practice, if we bring it back around, is: look at the people who have deeply impacted your life—living or crossed—and think about how they’ve impacted you, and acknowledge that.

And you can say it, write it, or call them up if they’re still alive and say, “I called because I was listening to this crazy podcast and they were talking about taking time to recognize the impact people have had in your life.” You might make somebody’s day.

I’ll say to people: thank you for being here and doing what you just did for me. And they’ll say, “You just made my day. People have been so mean to me all day. Thank you for being kind.”

So we invite you to do that. And if it’s somebody who is no longer with us on this plane, take a minute to thank them. Just because they’re not physically here doesn’t mean you can’t thank them. It also doesn’t mean you can’t resolve something that was left unresolved.

And I want to share this: Linda’s not physically here with us today, but one thing I love that she talks about is taking a situation that’s troublesome and unresolved. Maybe you can or can’t resolve it—but if you can’t, put it in what she calls “the basket of love and light.” She’ll say, “I couldn’t find an answer, so I let go of it by putting it in the basket of love and light.”

There are lots of strategies similar to that, but I love that practice: putting something in love and light and knowing it can be taken care of, because now it’s being surrounded by love and light. Even if you can’t give it love and light yourself, the basket of love and light will take that over, and you can let go.

So if there are things you need to put in the basket of love and light, put it there and try to let go. That’s a bit of what Betty’s saying too: send love to places of stress and turmoil. I find that very empowering, and the teachers that have made the most impact on me taught me to do that.

We invite you to do that as well. And if you do, let us know how it works. Get in touch with us on any of our social media venues and say, “Hey, I tried that. It worked,” or “Hey, I tried that. It was really hard.” That gives us a way of bringing it back into another podcast or talking about other strategies.

BETTY: That’s a great idea. Let us know, because we’ll be happy to help you out. This is how we live our lives. This is how we’ve been living for probably 40 years, at least—perhaps longer, depending on what you learned as a child.

I think that’s all we have to say for today. We could go on quite a long time, but to honor your time and ours, it’s time to wind up.

Sally, do you have any other words?

SALLY: No, I think we moved from talking about one thing into something different. But our goal is always—this is Betty’s line—helping to navigate through the muddy waters, and the waters are really muddy right now. It’s hard to stay centered and grounded.

Look at our podcasts that help you do those things, because even though it seems very basic and we keep coming back to it, it works. It works if you do it. We’re here to remind you.

I am very grateful for all those loving people that have entered into my life, all the way back to my own mother. Otherwise I wouldn’t be sitting here today talking about this somewhere else. I’m grateful for the impact that people have had on my life. If you’re listening and you’re one of those people, know that I acknowledge you, and I’m grateful.

BETTY: Do you want to take it out?

SALLY: Linda would say: remember to take time to see your glimmer every day. Thank you for listening to this podcast. And as always we say, may you walk in beauty. Kaydeeshday. All is made beautiful. Thank you. See you next time.

BETTY: Thank you for tuning in. Bye-bye.