What happens when men create safe spaces?

What happens when a professional dancer from a tough background decides to revolutionise mental health support? Reiss Craig-Micheal Loftus takes us on a powerful journey from dancing on cruise ships to founding the award-winning Brotherhood Legion CIC and Sisterhood Midlands - organisations transforming how we approach wellbeing and community.

Growing up surrounded by poverty, crime, and limited opportunities, Reiss found his escape through dance. This passion eventually took him around the world as a professional performer. But beneath the success, he battled substance abuse and struggled to find genuine connection. During lockdown, everything changed. Facing uncertainty about his career and seeking more control over his future, Reiss began organising small meetups with men who needed routine and support. What started as simple check-ins evolved into a movement that's changing, and sometimes saving lives.

Brotherhood Legion isn't your typical mental health organisation. Through weekend fitness sessions, coffee meetups, hikes, retreats, and constant WhatsApp support, Reiss has created something far more profound: a true community where people can shed their performative masks and embrace vulnerability. The impact is staggering. Members who once contemplated suicide now lead group discussions. Men who couldn't make eye contact now organise social events. Women find spaces to express struggles that their cultures typically silence. Through it all, Reiss demonstrates that healing happens in relationship, not isolation.

The future looks bright as Brotherhood Legion expands its reach toward youth programs, workplace wellbeing, and larger community initiatives. Reiss's journey reminds us that our greatest struggles can become our greatest gifts to others when we're brave enough to share them. Ready to find your tribe? Connect with the Brotherhood Legion through Instagram and Facebook (@thebrotherhoodlegioncic or @thesisterhood_Midlands), visit brotherhoodlegion.com, or email brotherhoodlegion@hotmail.com.

Transcript

Meet Rhys and His Award-Winning CIC

Speaker 1 0:00

So, hi guys, welcome, Welcome to another episode of Call Aura Podcast. My name is Sathya Call and this podcast I've created to hopefully share uplifting, positive content narratives, to motivate, encourage, elevate others to go out there and make those positive changes for themselves, like work on their own wellbeing, work on their self-development, even and just really come out there and be and embrace your true, authentic self. Right, who would not want that? So my next guest I'm so excited to bring on because it took a while to get it together, but I'm glad we're finally here. So I met him looking for guests for the second series because I'm all about that Raising the awareness of people that are doing such great things in their communities for themselves, that have overcome adversities, really inspiring and, like I said, doing great stuff.

Speaker 1 0:48

I've seen him on an episode of someone else's podcast and I just loved what he was all about and what he was doing for his community. So we're talking about someone that's gone through personal experience that's led him to create his own CIC. That led him to create his own CIC. Cic is a community interest company and not just any CIC guys. An award-winning CIC that focuses on men's health, mental health, well-being and other great stuff. His background being a professional dancer, he's currently a fitness trainer. He offers fitness services, coaching services, public speaker. I could go on and on, but I'll let him talk to you about it. But yeah, guys, welcome, Welcome Rhys.

Speaker 2 1:33

Thank you very much, Satvi. That was a great introduction as well.

Speaker 1 1:36

You're like that. I'm like seriously what you're doing. I can't wait for people to hear about it. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 1:49

So let's just start off Rhys by just doing a quick intro to who you are, your background, what it is you do, where you're based, and then we'll take it from there. Yeah, perfect. So my name is Rhys Craig-Marco Loftus and I do run an award-winning system for mental health within the UK called thebrotherhoodlegioncic and now a sister community interest company called the Sisterhood underscore Midlands. This has been my life for the past three to four years as I've transitioned into becoming a personal trainer. The prior 10 years to my life was me traveling the world as a professional dancer, which is something that I use and I look back on as an influence and an inspiration for my story.

Speaker 2 2:23

Now, when I tell people that I come from an environment that was struck with poverty, that is avid with crime and drugs, and you know where people don't get the leg up, that you know that is needed for some people the support or the encouragement to go and do bigger things with their lives. Now I use that. I use all them teachings, use them experiences to basically better people's situations or pull them out of dark places that I might have been in myself and just you know. Help, give them some love and some support to go chase their dreams, like Safia's talking about. You know self-development and you know self-growth. So that's where we're at now.

Speaker 1 3:06

Yeah, amazing stuff, like seriously like this is why I was so excited to bring you on, because look at what you just spoke about and imagine how that is going to inspire and influence other people and encourage them, like you just spoke about, and what you've been through. Do you know what I mean and where you've come from? We want to use it as a form of encouragement to show people that we are capable of so much more. So I want to speak about because I don't know if you've listened to my previous series I spoke about a lot about my personal path and all about changes that I made to my life which completely has changed who I am like, my whole new version of who I am like a whole outlook. It changed. It took a kind of like making changes to myself. Part of the changes now that I'm a whole new being, almost it was about having different experiences.

From Poverty to Professional Dancing

Speaker 1 3:51

In my first series, I spoke about experiencing a hike, and this is the first experience I had of you is because, guys, I spoke in my first series about a hike that I wanted to experience, someone told me about it and I kind of put something in place and this is in 2022 when I did my first series, so I had something in place as I was approaching 40. It didn't quite work out, so I kind of put that hike to the back of my mind, got on with other stuff. But since meeting Rhys and found out that he did hikes, I managed, guys, to have my first experience of a hike with him, and I not only did one, I did two, but this is something they were going to speak on. But, rhys, I'm touching on my hike because I wanted to say about the whole experience I had on there and what you kind of created that whole event and what you kind of brought together an amazing set of people and just, yeah, it was just the best experience and, like I spoke to you about it, it was just a safe space where people were embraced, people were open to share how they felt, kind of thing, their life experiences, what they were going through. And I've never really experienced that.

Speaker 1 4:54

And what I loved about it as well is that it was a mixed group, so it was a safe space for, like men and women to really come together and support one another. Because, bloody hell, the way society is going at the minute do you know what I mean? The way it is between men and women. Not everyone wants to kind of subscribe to that. So seeing what you've created is such an amazing, positive space. It was just so nice to experience that, and I've attended other events and other things that you do. But what I want to kind of know, learn about, is where do you get that initial passion to be doing this whole thing in the first place? What led you to even create this in the first place?

Speaker 2 5:31

I'm so glad that you come on the hike and you're exactly right, it's just a beautiful, beautiful way to get people out and then to get them in an environment where they do feel comfortable, to just kind of let go. You, when you're out in the wild, you get a lot more grounded and you kind of just are a lot more expressive and, um, you kind of let your, you know, your guards down a little bit to just be a bit more relaxed, which is, um, which is one of the biggest benefits about getting out, and then you get to push yourself, like you did on that hike, which is super cool I was gonna say, because I'm so not used to outdoor activities, like, and it was my first experience of it.

Speaker 1 6:04

So as much as I was kind of naive to the situation, um, and I didn't know what to expect, I think a lot of it was my whole experience. It was positive. I really kind of struggled like I did it, but I think a lot of it was the support around me, um, that really helped boost me and get me to the finish line. Otherwise I'd still be up there.

Speaker 2 6:34

But the fun thing is like just talking about that experience of the hike, is that the hike is one that was a very real experience that you had, but it's also a great metaphor for life. Like life, is the hike, you know, it's like starting at the bottom of the hill and then making your way up to the peak. And is the hike, you know, it's like starting at the bottom of the hill and then making your way up to the peak and then realizing that you know there's another peak. But it's not easy, it's hard, you know, and sometimes different things happen, like maybe the change of weather, and then there's different challenges that get thrown at left, right and center. But in life, life's a lot easier when you have people on your left, to your right here that are encouraging, that are motivating, that allow you to believe in yourself that you can achieve things that you once thought that you couldn't. And so it's a great um example of the reality of what that, what life is, that challenge of life, and then overcoming our obstacles, and then, um the benefit and then the power of being, you know, having people behind you, um. So let me get back to your question what, what was the drive of? You know, of the cause of bringing these people together? And it is a passion for people.

Speaker 2 7:33

You know, I've always been a people's person. I've always, you know, found people interesting. You know I traveled a lot with my, my mom, moving to different council estates around leicester and that lot. So you learn to make new friends and I've always kind of been empathetic to people as well, you know, you know to to their struggles and to the challenges, and just try wanting to help people after seeing, you know, situations in my life where, like people like my mom, have held space, even when she, you know, was that. You know a challenging time in my life where, like people like my mom, have held space, even when she, you know, was at you know a challenging time in her life, she opened her arms and her house to to people that were at worse, um. So there's always been that burning sensation in my heart to to help. So, and then, being a dancer, you know, we travel the world, we create new, new families, new teams every year, and it's about motivating, it's about supporting, it's about uplifting each other and giving each other that morale and that confidence to go out there and give the best show of our life, even on days that we don't feel like it, and so you learn that as well. You learn to embody that. You learn to embrace people for their differences and learn how to communicate with people that require different, know different ways of communication soft touch, hard touch and um. And after coming out of dancing you know that was that's the only thing that is aligned with who I am and it was inevitable that I was going to move into coaching anyway, out of dancing. You know becoming a pt is just one aspect of the whole round circular. You know holistic kind of movement that I'm trying to push to get people more in. You know involved with themselves and within their community and with you know within creating a better future, being proactive, being productive. And you know, in creating something better for themselves and changing the thought beliefs that they have, that they're able, they're capable of doing such great things. So that's where the passion comes from. The passion comes from you know my environment, people helping me in my past as well, backpedaling Before I became, before I went to Performing Arts College when I was younger.

Speaker 2 9:41

I went to Performing Arts College when I was 17, and that's pretty late to go to a professional dance college or to start classical or training as a dancer. I did do body popping when I was 14 and then street dancing when I was 15 and I went to the school. I went to, you know, I had a one-to-one, I was in all the lowest classes so I left there with no grades, practically. You know I'm dyslexic, I had trouble reading, I had trouble writing, um. After, after I left school, I went to college and I booked out of college. So, to give you kind of an image or or you know, a viewpoint of my life, at 17 I had really no idea where I was going until this lady approached me on the street which worked for council, which gave me an opportunity to go to this private dance college, and my community, the council estate that I live on, raised and supported and funded all my dance gear, which was like a thousand and something pounds as well.

Speaker 2 10:35

So there was so many influences and so many goodwill, examples of people in my community supporting me and helping me change my whole life. These people just take, you know, taking a step out of their way to to put me up, um, that it changed, you know, my, my existence, my reality in who I am as a man today. So it's it's a repay back. It's a repay. That's where the passion comes from. It comes from it comes from the things that have happened to me in my life and me being able to have the power to go. I can do the same. I can put somebody up, or I can help somebody out of a bad situation, or I can help somebody believe in themselves oh yeah, I love that seriously and that's what it's all about, isn't it so?

Speaker 1 11:14

hearing how many people came into your life and just changed your life, for you to experience that and to go through that and then want to help others, it's just amazing. Like I said, to pay it forward is massive and I love what you've created, so I want to learn more about. So how we mentioned, like things that you offer, like hikes. That's just a small fraction of what you do and what the Brotherhood Legion is all about. So transitioning, then, so from a professional dancer and then creating this, how did that all kind of evolve and come together?

Brotherhood Genesis During Lockdown

Speaker 2 11:46

everything was big tongue during lockdown. Nobody really knew what direction um life was going in. As a performer, entertainment business looked really shaky, really rocker, and there were also, you know, a lot of new requirements we were talking about on the concept of being vaccinated, a lot of jobs are only taking people that were vaccinated, that had so many jabs, to travel to, to be in you know, a, a group or an ensemble. And me personally, I wasn't ready to go down that avenue, to sacrifice that autonomy, that, that that decision of um taking a vaccine when I was a perfectly healthy man. I'm a strong male, I'm a, I'm a man that looks after himself, I train, I work out, I eat right. Um, the science and the feeling of it wasn't right for me. So I had to have that conversation with myself and I made the decision that I wanted more control over my life, over my business, over my future, and then, if I was to end up in any situation like lockdown again, I'd be able to provide a service, that I'd be able to provide an income for myself and my family in the future. And that's when I thought, well, I'm dancing. That isn't where it is for me. You know, going into coaching is going to be more efficient and then also, you know it's going to be, it's more empowering for me to be going to be more efficient and then also, you know it's going to be, it's more empowering for me to be able to pursue that passion for people and then, kind of, you know, help people live a healthier life and make healthier decisions for themselves than living in fear and disbelief and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 13:25

I felt like a lot of people were in lockdown, so a lot of people needed to shake up and a lot of people needed kind of a reminder of their power. And then you know what health is about and the benefits of going about it, sometimes the long way or the most disciplined way, and how that will unfold tenfold for you in the future. So that kind of was the nudge, that was the catapult, and I feel like a lot of people had that moment in lockdown where they were like I need to change career or I need to, kind of I need to really, you know, dig my feet and ask myself really what I want to do and this is what I want to do. So then, as I come out of lockdown, I, you know, I started doing the education, for the personal training um purposes. And then I started creating programs for men and which I called the brotherhood program, which was just taking blokes whilst we're in lockdown and we're giving them a routine. We're giving them, um a whatsapp group and we'll do a group meetups and we basically just created a small, tight community of four of us that was checking in on each other on a regular basis, that was motivating each other to get down and do a little bit of exercise.

Speaker 2 14:39

You know, trying new experiences like meditation affirmations, um, you know, foresight and vision meditations and manifestation um, self-talking tapes. And then, you know, like cold showers and all these other things that kind of just boost your morale and just kind of give you, boost your resilience, and it worked massively. You know, it really really helped me, really helped the other three lads. You know some of them stopped smoking for the month. Um, it wasn't 100 perfect, but life's not about being 100 perfect, it's about applying yourself, you know, on a regular basis, to be a bit better than you was yesterday. So, and that's exactly what it did.

Speaker 2 15:16

And then I was doing more lives and more, you know, more lives in more podcasts, with people talking about you know how the power of you know meditation, affirmation is the power of um, you know self-talk and you know visualization and it just you know, the more, the more I became in that mental health space. People were coming up to me in the aspect of like, okay, you know that you should, you should join my friend, he's a mental health first aid or you should create a page, you should create um, a facebook page. So I reached out to this gentleman, but this gentleman ended up being too busy so I just took it upon myself to make it. And then this sounds funny, but I didn't plan to get this far, I didn't plan to be like okay, the x, y and z with the brotherhood, it kind of just snowballed into what it was. It snowballed into the movement and it was more so also an accountability process for me because, touching on what we've not spoke about yet, you know I've gone through a long relationship backwards and forwards, with substance abuse.

Speaker 2 16:21

You know bit of cocaine, bit of ketamine, bit of ecstasy pills. You know bit of cocaine, bit of it ketamine and bit of it ecstasy pills. You know just all the little party drugs that people used to take um. Or you know, yeah, you know I, I've been, I've been in and out of substance abuse for many, many years, since I started smoking weed at the age of 14.

Speaker 2 16:41

Um, so I needed, I needed a place, I needed the community to kind of hold me down, to keep me tight, keep me accountable as well, and that's what the brotherhood was. So it was my focus, it was my pinpoint, it was my way of channeling, channeling my energy into something to take me out of a version of myself that I no longer belonged, um, and walking into the version I am today in, the one that I'm trying to create on a day-to-day basis, of just trying to, you know, become that, that, that that more grounded, individual, one that is more, more focused, more wiser, you know, more um, settled and connected to his emotions and his experiences, to try and get the best out of life. Um, so, yeah, so you know, we moved into it like that. We started by just asking people to come and join us for a session on the park on a Sunday, and the Sunday group grew, grew and grew, and then, uh, we had the whatsapp chat as well. So, and then I thought, well, let's have a, let's have a session on Saturdays. And we had sessions on Saturdays where we'd meet and have a coffee and a chat, and then, you know, they kept growing and the numbers kept multiplying and then I started putting on more charity events.

Speaker 2 17:51

So we do a lot within the community. If it's, you know, helping the homeless, if it's giving back to the youth, giving back to other outreach centers that are involved with women or them as a general, you know feeding people at Christmas, doing multiple events where we give out free haircuts, free clothes, free food to the public as well, and, you know, we offer free coaching for some of the members. We, you know, we've renovated houses for some of the members that are really struggling. It's so much more than you know. A mental health group it is what it says at the end, the CIC, a community interest group. So, and it is what it says at the end, that CIC, a community interest group. So, and it just it's just building on, building on building. Every year it gets bigger and it's all because of the, the community, the community tell me they, they relay what they want and, um, I try and make things happen aligned with what the community wants and then, um, you know what's what's best for the, what's best for the group?

Speaker 1 18:44

Yeah, and Weldon is doing that Like seriously, you've gone through so much. That's what I mean. It's your personal experience that has helped as well. Pushing you to do all this, you know, is so encouraging, and to create such a space for, like men especially is something which it's nice to see now that more groups are emerging and it's being more acknowledged, because that is a kind of societal problem that we do have with men's problems and what they suffer with. They're not as expressive about it as women are able to be. Do you know what I mean? So it's nice that the awareness is being raised about it and highlighting it and creating such spaces that men are comfortable in seeking out and going to.

Creating Safe Spaces for Men

Speaker 1 19:25

With you mentioning as well your background with substance abuse and overcoming you offer such a lot of experience. This is going to be very reassuring and encouraging to people that are listening, because a lot of people are going through the same struggles, feel like they're going through such a low point. They don't have that support. So this is what I'm trying to do with this podcast is create something, a network where people are aware of people that have overcome their own adversities and have created something good from it, where they're helping others and they're serving in their communities and helping one another, because that's what it's all about is and I did want to raise as well, speaking to some of your members when I have attended a few of your events.

Speaker 1 20:02

You speak so highly of you and how much you've helped and been instrumental in their whole healing journeys as well, and sometimes it takes that going through your own adversity to offer that right support and reassurance, because a lot of experiences, a lot of it is lived experiences sometimes you have to live through something to really gain those tools, that experience, that knowledge to help pass on to others. So it's to help them as well to realise what's within them, and I wanted to reassure others that change can happen and be around the right support and taking the right steps as well, because it's not easy. Do you know what I mean? But I want people to be aware that there are spaces that are going to offer you that support and help you step by step to get you where you need to be yeah, I totally agree.

Speaker 2 20:51

I totally agree. I think sometimes you just need a friend, you just need somebody to just kind of, um, you know already, clarify what you know. You know, sometimes we can go around in our own heads about situations, um, that we're struggling with, and then sometimes it just takes that person to be like, no, you're right, you know. Or actually just you know, take a step back and then, um, you know, maybe try it this way, you know it's. You know, we get so much further when we kind of discuss who we are and what we are and what we want, um with other people. But you know, just someone believing in you, somebody you know you having an idea, and instead of you be, instead of being around people that are like, oh, I don't know that I work, or you know you're really qualified for that, or you know, or you know you'll put you'll probably be good at it for a week and then you probably won't stick at it. You know things like this if people say a lot, you know people around you will be like, oh, yeah, well, you know, you'll probably quit it in a week, you'll probably, you know, and there's there's no belief, but having someone around you going why not go for it one or two percent? You know what, what's what's to lose.

Speaker 2 21:57

And then, um, and in making you feel okay about if things do go wrong it's okay and that you've got some, you can, you can kind of lean back on people that are going to be there like, okay, no more that, okay, that didn't, that didn't happen, that's not the way you wanted it to work. But you know you're still alive, we're still breathing, we've still got time and energy, we've still got, you know, we've still got a whole life in front of us to try again, to try something different. Now we know a way that didn't work. Um, it's stuff like that. Or, you know, if you're just in a real bad headspace and you just you, you need to get out of your, your environment, your circle that you have at the minute. You can just go and train or have a coffee with somebody that is not in your um intermediate family or friends and just be like. You know I'm having a shit time and then be like. Then be like yeah, I understand, I get it, that's it.

Speaker 2 22:44

You know, what I mean, and I'm not trying to look back at your history, I'm not trying to look at anything. I'm just taking you as who you are right now and letting you express yourself. It can mean the world to people. It can literally just drop so much weight off their chest. Or, like a lot of the time in life, you'll find us as individuals. We create so many different characters for different rooms and environments, and even to our friends and our family, the people that we grow up. We get molded into this character that's, you know, a load of different impressions of our environment, our family, our friends that kind of put us in a place within a certain friendship group or within the family dynamics and stuff like this. And sometimes it's not the character you know, it's not the personality or the avatar that we actually want to be. And when you go and be around new people, you can kind of let go of all that. You can kind of let go of that ego that you have and that camaraderie that you're with your friends and you kind of of have to act, that tough guy or you know that, that joker um character, and you can just kind of lean back and relax and then kind of let let let people take you as a fresh slate, which is really really encouraging, um, which is really really nice and you know that there as well is empowering.

Speaker 2 24:02

So I always say to people go move out your city, you want, you want to find out who you are again. Go move out your city, go travel and stay away from you know the country for a while and then and then ask yourself after you've been away from on, for, like, how different am I? Like, you know, am I talking the same way? Am I, you know, trying to fight for the, the right to be heard in in this environment, in this circle? Or, you know, am I a lot more relaxed? Am I a lot more playful? Am I a lot more confident?

Speaker 2 24:29

Um, because some people can put a ceiling on, some rooms can be really low, you know, and when we go and find ourselves out into the environment in new circles, we kind of get to, you know, push back on. Um, so, yeah, you know, environment and people. It's, it's really important to have that sort of tribe, that sort of community that allows you to, you know, be different or, or, or, you know, not excess, not expect expectations of you, so low and anything's possible um, but also it will keep you accountable yeah, definitely, and that's what it's all about, isn't it finding your tribe?

Speaker 1 25:06

that's on the same vibe, because sometimes people are in current states where they're feeling a bit low. They want to make those changes, but their current environment is not allowing for that change. And we do. Don't we get too comfortable around our support systems we have in place, thinking that they're the right ones, but when you want to grow and involve, you just improve yourself. People around you aren't always going to get that, so you have to really kind of leave those spaces and join new ones.

Speaker 1 25:31

And that's what I've found on my path of, like I call it, self-discovery, because up until I made those changes back in 2020 in lockdown, like you said, a lot of people made changes, positive and and negative. Do you know what I mean? But there was a massive, I think, a mass awakening of people where they were questioning stuff and they were really self-reflecting Because, like you said, lockdown, covid, vaccination, all that jazz really created a divide between people and you really got to see the realness in people and the people then really valued life more and they wanted to kind of make some changes. Where, if things were to end now, do you know what I mean down to Covid. You don't want to go down like that. I know for sure that I knew I'd have lots of regret. I knew that was my wake-up call to make these certain necessary changes in my life. And again, with the whole vaccination thing, I was restricted to even do shifts at the hospital as a midwife. But I didn't want that kind of control. I wanted to be more of an autonomous and sovereign being that we're supposed to be and I think I got a bit of an awakening there in 2020, when it's all locked down and you had time to think and do that, because before my whole outlook on life was not good.

Speaker 1 26:43

And since making those changes, like how you speak with the whole motivational and encouraging people and really elevating them and letting them know about the power that's within I wasn't one of those people and I didn't realize that the power was within me. Do you know what I mean? So it's only now applying such principles to my own life, after kind of looking into it, that I'm creating such a whole new version of myself and I'm evolving into a whole new person that I'm like. It's unexplainable. Even some things of how I've even got myself here is unexplainable because of I was, but I know I was at such a low point in my life that it was now or never.

Building Diverse and Inclusive Communities

Speaker 1 27:23

Like I had to make some changes, like if I really wanted better for myself, I realized it's all down to myself, like it's not easy to make those changes. Do you know what I mean? And you, like you said, you won't get that support around you. But there is support if you step out and trust in yourself. Because it is scary to make these changes, like we're so conditioned to think a certain way and by making these changes tough. Do you know what I mean? But you've really, if you really want to make these changes and you really want to better your life and you want the things that you want, it does take that commitment. It takes that dedication to making those changes and finding the right support around you and, like you said, those that kind of nearby that are so used to a different version of you, that's okay. Do you know what I mean? Um, yeah, so I went off on a tangent there well done to you, satvir.

Speaker 2 28:15

Well done to you as well. Thank you like seriously, because it takes a lot. It takes a lot to, you know, swim against the current.

Speaker 2 28:20

It takes a lot to go on your own and then, also have that lonely period or be in that that you know that lone soldier, that little cowboy, where you're kind of traveling by yourself for a while, where you're leaving your old paradigm and you're moving into, you know, the next version or the next chapter of your life and, um, you know, people do stay. And then people do you know they, they do, they, they don't see your vision, they don't have your mind, they don't. You know, they don't see the path so that they, they could, you know they portray it as less or they see it as you thinking you're better than them or that they might see. You know they, they'll be. You know, um, they'll be negative within the viewpoint of it, but it's sometimes it's not even personal it's it's not personal to you and the fact that they don't want you to win. It's just sometimes they're scared to lose a friend and they're scared to lose somebody that they like, and then they can see you drifting away from them. Or sometimes it's actually you're shining a mirror on somebody's attributes or some of the insecurities that they have about themselves that is holding them back and that kind of frustrates them a bit.

Speaker 2 29:28

You know there's loads of different reasons why people you know we fade away from each other and some people don't support you and they don't appreciate you going about it on your own, but it's something that you have to be okay with. It's something that you have to accept that I'm not going to take it personal. I'm not going to take it personal that none of my friends or my family support my goals, that support my business, that support my vision, because the end of the day is there will be people that support you. There will be people that get behind you and it's your life, so you're doing that support you. There will be people that get behind you and you know it's your life, so you're doing it for you.

Speaker 2 30:07

You're not doing it to please your friends and for the satisfaction of them buying into whatever you're selling or sharing whatever your service is. You know your value isn't coming off their thumbs up. It's coming off the effort of you trying to. You know, create something for yourself and you are the creator. So you just got to show up every day. Don't put too much on the victory. Put it all on the path and then the day-to-day workings of doing something that you want to choose. You choose to do, yeah.

Speaker 1 30:41

I love that and this is what I want to encourage other people to do as well. Yeah, yeah, I love that and this is what I want to encourage other people to do as well. Um, yeah, so how open your group is and how diverse it is, that's what I loved about it. And it was non-judgmental, because how we just spoke on, people have that fear, don't? They are speaking up, um around those about the change they want to make, even how they're feeling, um, and what I noticed about your group and some of your members just the diversity of it, like it's just accessible to everybody.

Speaker 1 31:05

I loved how inclusive it was because, being Asian and coming from the Asian community, I know for one mental health is not spoken enough about. It's slowly emerging now groups, which is amazing to see. But because we're so close sometimes and it's knit in our community, they have that fear of opening up, about speaking on their stuff and it'll get through to somebody else within the community and they'll know about their business. So I love that what you've created, where it's you can come and it's you're not going to be judged, because a lot of that is people's fears within other communities, I guess as well.

Speaker 1 31:38

Like, because it's very much almost like shame is put upon it at times. If you're talking about that mental health, a lot in our community just kind of ignored, so it's quite a hard one. So I do love that I see your groups are open and diverse and allowing that space for people to come away from their communities and come to something where they're not going to be judged. They're just free to express and grow and just help better themselves. Do you find that as well? So people from different communities speak of their struggles within their communities yeah, one million percent.

Speaker 2 32:08

You know the dynamic of the brotherhood and the sisterhood is massive. You know the um, the diversity of it. Yeah, you know we have men and women all different ages, backgrounds, religions, ethnicities, um, and they all speak upon. You know the struggles of cultural differences, of being able to speak your piece and being able to have a word. You know, because some cultures you don't get a word. So you know your voice doesn't matter if you're a woman. You know, and then your placement as a man within the family unit and what your requirements are to fulfill in that placement of being a man or being a woman. You know, um, and then your placement as a man in within the family unit and what your requirements are to fulfill in that placement of being a man or being a woman, um, so you know it.

Speaker 2 32:53

It's it's very brave for people in them sort of situations to come out and then to find solitude and to find a place where they can be like. You know what this is. This is what I've been holding in for so long. This is what's like kind of eating me away, what this is. This is what I've been holding in for so long. This is what's like kind of eating me away and this is kind of what's holding me down from being who I want to be, and it's empowering as well. It's super empowering to see, to see people if they're, and in cultural differences where it's so, you know it's like mocked. You know talking about your mental health is mocked, like there's no such thing as a mental health women.

Speaker 2 33:33

Certain cultures Say Indians, because I'm talking about you being Indian, indian culture. You know the dynamics between men and women are very different. You know the dynamics between men and women are very different. You know polar opposites, they, you know everybody has a requirement to make somebody happy. You've got to, as Indian kids, you have to look after your parents when you get older. So you have a responsibility, you know, to look after these individuals.

Speaker 2 34:01

You know if, maybe, if you're, you're, you know I've got men in my group that are asian men, that are gay, um, and that is like you know that's a no-go, that's a massive no-go within the culture, um, within the, within the, within the family, and I like to come out so to have a place to be able to talk about that, to be accepted, for that it's massive, um, and yeah, just to, just to be showing any sort of emotion. You know men are meant to be stirred. They're meant to be, you know, gladiators, they're meant to be alphas. And you know, um, you know, that that is not a part of the normal every day today. To say that you're not coping, you know. To say that, you know you're depressed or you've got, you know you struggle sometimes with anxiety, um, it's shut. It's like shut up. Don't be deaf. You know, get on with your life, um and so, yeah, I see it all the time and even in it's even without cultural differences, it's even in environmental um differences.

Speaker 2 35:00

It's even in like growing up. If you grow up in an estate where it is, you know it's quite, it's quite competitive. So we're talking about where I grew up, in Broadstone. It's quite competitive, it's quite aggressive within the male collective. You know there's a lot of fighting, there's a lot of robbery, there's a lot of drugs. There fighting, there's a lot of robbery, there's a lot of drugs, there's a lot of kind of yeah, well, you'd say alpha competition. You know it's like we're stronger than you, this side's harder than that side. For the postcode.

Services and Transformational Events

Speaker 2 35:37

You know everybody's like trying to claim a status within their manhood to be respected and that there as well. And then when you move out of, when you move out of that environment, um, you kind of have to learn. Actually you can be, you can be more gentle, you don't have to be so dominant in every environment, um, and you know you don't have to assert yourself and actually, um, you can. You can show emotions, you can be vulnerable where in their old circles you know that's seen as weakness, it's seen as being too soft, and then you'll get the mick taken out of you or you'll get, you know, there'll be a joke on it. So then that stops them from reaching out, because it's always the fear of judgment. What will people think about that?

Speaker 1 36:25

It's just nice for a space for men to come together. There's a lot of just pressures with them as well as women, younger women as well, for sure. This is what I wanted to raise as well Like you're young and you're doing such great things at such a young age, and I see that as a kind of an inspiration and really influential to the younger generation, especially like males and what they're going through in society as well. They kind of need that guidance. They need more positive influences out there. Do you know what I mean? And I'm bringing up a son myself and it's all about that Because younger generation, like how we said it, is out there right now, men and women, the whole kind of.

Speaker 1 37:06

I don't want to talk too much about it because my podcast is not about that. We're all about positivity, positive change and about elevating ourselves. We don't speak too much about the external, what's going on, but we do know society sometimes like there's a bit of a disconnect at the moment between men and women and it's quite toxic some of this stuff, but I find because I'm older, I kind of observe it and don't really subscribe to it. We don't kind of fall for it, but the younger generation may, because they're at that impressionable age. So, with what you're doing and encouraging others, the younger generation, I think it's just so encouraging and influential and I think it's just inspiring and we need more of this. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 37:40

I don't know what you mean and I'm smiling because you call me young. More of this. Do you know what I mean? I don't know what you mean and I'm smiling because you call me young. But I am young. But oh, you know, I'm 34 now, so I'm not, I'm not, I'm not the spring 18 year old, but um what?

Speaker 1 37:51

do you call it?

Speaker 2 37:52

yeah, the generation. You know. More so with social media. Now there's a. There's a lot of content out there that does divide men and women. You know you want to be an example, you want to be a leader in what we want for our future. You know, um, as michael jackson says, you want to make a difference. Um, you got to look at the man in the mirror. You know I'll mix two songs, you're going to make a difference, but anyway it's that.

Speaker 2 38:22

It's that essence of like, I believe, the youth nowadays. They need a good mentor, they need good examples and they don't have them anymore with. You know how society's dropped and a lot of the care systems and um interventions that we used to have when I was younger, with youth clubs, with patrolling um officers and youth um care support workers that used to be around in the neighborhood, in the streets, the neighborhoods like it's America, the estate that I grew up on, you know, and they're influenced by a lot of stuff that's on the internet. You know a lot of division and a lot of a small minority of the reality that we live in is magnified to seem as it's the general, when it isn't the truth. You know men and women don't hate each other. A lot of men and women do want authentic relationships. They are going to go somewhere, but they are against their system, they are against their phones and the overwhelming choice of something new and that something new might be better. When we need to ground ourselves and actually, you know, trying hard and working hard on something that's good, we'll make it great, and then we'll make it so much more than chucking it away. And you know everything is throwawayable. You know it's throwable, it's, you know it's breakable. We're so easily to jump onto the next boat, but we need to just, you know, I think, take care of something that's good, like I said, and just nurture it into something that's better, that's more valuable. Life's about endurance, I think, and I think we've just kind of we fell out of that, but I think that's because of you know the phones.

Speaker 2 40:01

You know dating apps nowadays. You know they're hard. They're hard for men, they're hard for men, they're hard for women, but more so for men. You know, I believe, because you know you could create a dating app, you could create a profile as a woman and you'll get likes all day, but a man won't the average man won't get any likes at all you know, very hardly, especially if he's not under. If he's under, you know five, nine or something even less. You know people are setting their heights, but nevertheless you know anything that you want.

Speaker 2 40:35

I think you have to go and get in life and you know there are people out there that do want relationships. There are situations out there that you, you know that will help you grow. But we, just what we do, is we foresee it as our. No, it's not going to work for me, or there ain't out there, or you know there's no good women, there's no, nothing. Actually, you're just not in the game, you're not in the space, you're not trying um, but you also have to be presentable, you have to be. You, as a man, also have to understand. And women, what do we? What do we give to another person?

Speaker 1 41:07

What I loved about you is that you've created such an open space amongst men and women. Do you know what I mean? A more healthier space where we're learning from one another and you're growing and you're learning about experiences. And I think that's key is to learn about men's experiences, women's experiences going forward, um, and just to help then guide the younger generation, because you don't want to kind of lead with, at the moment, the way it's heading, you just want to kind of redirect it to another way yeah, when I do the events, the whole, a lot of the events with the men and the women, is to kind of connect them again and help them realize that they can have safe conversations with the opposite sex.

Speaker 2 41:43

um, and it doesn't have to be about, you know, trying to set up a date, and I think it can be plutonically. It can be just that we are human beings. At the end of the day, we can appreciate each other for who we are, no matter what the sex is.

Speaker 1 41:57

Yeah, and what was your reason for even setting up the sisterhood group as well?

Speaker 2 42:01

The reason I set up the sisterhood group is because I've been asked many times to do it, but I was always like it's a lot of effort, a lot of time that goes into the brotherhood. But I did it because my sister I wanted my sister my older well, she's younger, but my oldest sister too I wanted her to have a community like that. I built for the men a support system because she's been through her own challenges, her own adversity in life with some disgusting men, and it's good to have solid women around you that you know, that might have been through similar experiences, that are also but all just you know that are encouraging you to get out there and keep pushing on, keep fighting for your future and believing that you're a beautiful person, you're a beautiful soul and that you've got a lot to offer the world, and more so yourself. You know just doing it for yourself and not for anybody else, but you know putting that light back into each other and yeah, so I created it for her but she's very busy all the time.

Speaker 2 42:56

She didn't make it that much, but that was the initial.

Speaker 1 42:59

I love that you've set that up for your sister. It's helping a lot more other women as well, like not, I mean, and I've attended a few of your events that you put on for the women and it is such a supportive group and again they speak so highly of you, so you're doing a great thing there as well and impacting them in such a great way as well. You can see the growth in them. They're loving what you bring to them, which is really good, right, what I want to do. So I want to go a bit more into specific steps. So we mentioned touch on a few things that you offer, like your programs, your support services. Just go through a few of them again, like the types of programs that you offer, the support that you offer to help navigate challenges downward with the session plans that we run that are consistent every weekend.

Speaker 2 43:42

They are a conversational and a movement process. So Saturdays we have a space where, for men and for women, they meet at different coffee shops and they just have a communal where they catch up on life, maybe share some of their challenges and share some of their successes and create new friendships On them. Events there we do very frequently have people that will come in and if they're trained professionals, you know, recently we've had like a cbt, which is cognitive behavior therapy. We've had a hypnosis therapist come in, we've had a artist come in and they've held sessions built around, you know, mindfulness and then arts therapy as well, to give people different perspectives, give people different, uh, ways of thinking about their challenges in their emotional connection to their challenges.

Speaker 2 44:30

Um, which is really cool, really, really, really, um, really valuable we do on sundays, the day after what we do is the physical session. So it's a session where we run physical sessions. I teach if it's circuit training, strength training and and then, um, you know, once again, we sometimes bring instructors which will do, you know, playfulness, you know kind of mechanisms of movements, if it's breath work as well, if it's yoga, um, if it's like boxing and boxer size, these different trainers that add different, different levels, um, of kind of movement anything, and then we do them hikes, like we're talking about. We take them on hikes, we take them on day trips to get them out and about moving as well, and then so they're our foundation. They're our foundation, but also laid over, that is the, the um group chat on social media, which is coming through WhatsApp, and this is a place that they can talk to each other whatever time of the day. They can gain advice or they can just share something that's weighing them down a bit, or celebrate something that they're going through, and this is where you see a lot of the magic as well. You see, you know, maybe it's two in the morning, somebody needs a little chinwag and somebody replies to them. Maybe, you know, it's them passing a driving test or something, maybe it's them sharing their birthday, and then the lads organise a little birthday party. You know, I've organised so many parties over the three years and I've had men come up to me and go. No one's ever done this for me, no one's ever organised me a surprise party. No one's ever um created a birthday party for me and gone out for a meal, um, where they've, you know, shared, shared, a lovely, lovely dinner with, like you know, eight, ten lads, um, you know, no one's. You know I've never had christmas with a group of people. You know, I've never.

Speaker 2 46:18

All these little things that people take so much for granted because they've got a good support system around their family unit or they've got a good friend circle that, like, really extend themselves to each other, um, a lot of people don't have that, a lot of men don't have. You know, there was a statistic or something. You know, by the age of 50, men don't see any of their close friends at all. You know and this was most of my bed but, and um, he was talking about the stats of the how men fade away from their, their, you know, their, childhood friendships and stuff like that. And you know, one third of men don't have a friendship group. You know, um, and don't see their close friends on on a frequent basis. And then you also think about the Harvard study on human development, which says one of the most key fundamentals to longevity is valuable relationships. Men live longer, we live longer when we have more valuable relationships. Once it means something to us, that's a big attribute to better wellbeing and healthy life. So, you know, that's where some of the real glory comes from these creating a friendship circle within men, within women, that extend past the weekend sessions.

Speaker 2 47:33

And then we get into the charity events. And then we get into the big socials of the. You know the charity football games or like pool nights or gamer nights and the hashtag look and feel good event where we give out the free haircuts, free clothes, free food, um. And then you know other other avenues. You know the men's retreat that we do um one coming up in july. We're doing a women's retreat as well, many women's retreat coming up in um june, in four weeks. You know where that that'll have, like yoga, dancing, breath work, sound baths and then um, it will just be a great space for a load of women to come.

Speaker 2 48:08

You know, when we did the men's retreat, 40 men came to our first retreat and it was one of the most profound kind of um step back moments that I've ever experienced in my life. You know, we we had yoga, breath work, we had spironized where we did like sauna and um sauna and ice baths. We, you know we had had yoga, breath work, we had spironized, where we did like sauna and um, sauna and ice baths, we, you know, we had sound baths, all these things that I'd never really experienced fuller, especially as a collective. And then, you know, was it profound. And you did that with 40 men from all different layers of life, all different careers, um, some homeless, some very welfare, and it wasn't what you do for work. This is what I'm trying to do step up the ladder and I think it was.

Speaker 2 48:45

People were just talking about honest, emotional, um maturity, honest emotional health, um, that, you know, they, they led with their hearts and people really let themselves, you know, go and it was powerful, it was.

Speaker 2 49:02

And men don't get that and they don't, they don't get that. And even women, now, women, women struggle, I think, to connect deeply with other women as well. You know, I think they hold up a persona, a very competitive, um persona and character sometimes that they don't want to seem that they don't have all their stuff together as well. Women want to seem in control, you know, especially if their parents, especially if you know so, um, you know they're bringing up their family or they're bringing up kids and stuff like this, and maybe they're going about it on their own and they don't want to seem as they can't cope, so that you know they put on a really stern um, you know strong personality, when really they they also need to just let go. They also need to just kind of let people in, and you know, and they also reap the benefits, let go. They also need to just kind of let people in and, and you know, and they also reap the benefits of all these sort of um experiences nice, and it's finding that safe space to do that.

Speaker 1 49:51

Do you know what I mean? Um, we're losing that human connection, aren't we? And people are kind of distancing themselves from one another. So I love the kind of groups that you guys are creating and all the events you put together, because because it's about that, isn't it? Human connection, and things that we all go through, what we can open up about you'll find the person you're talking to has gone through the same thing. They may have experienced it differently, but the emotions and everything we go through is all the bloody same.

Speaker 1 50:16

Do you know what I mean? And I want people then to realize as well by connecting, we can all help one another out, because that's what it's all about. It's living your best, freaking life and being happy, getting yourself from a negative state to a positive state, and everyone's here living their personal path, their personal life. They've got their own expectations and what they want for themselves. And we kind of lose that, and I think a lot of it is through lack of human connection and a lack of people opening up as well, in fear of feeling like they're the only ones feeling that. So I love that there are spaces where people are openly expressing it to encourage others to come forward, because I think that's what's definitely needed.

Speaker 2 50:56

I agree with you okay.

Success Stories and Life-Changing Impact

Speaker 1 50:58

So what I want to do to offer, like anyone listening, because I also work with the CIC and I think would really benefit from what you offer, just to encourage them and elevate them. And so I want to hear Rhys of a success story or a milestone that highlights the amazing and positive differences that you've made within your CIC and in the community. So can you tell us of like a success story just to encourage anybody out there?

Speaker 2 51:25

yeah, massively. Yeah, so you know there's. There's multiple stories, multiple men and women. Women the women's group is quite fresh, it's quite new, but already you know, you know there's there's examples within both groups. Let me start with the men's.

Speaker 2 51:41

Yeah, so one of my directors, nisesh um, indian male, come to this country. Um, he studied here in university. He was at a very low point in his life when we met, when we connected, he was very pessimistic. He was, you know, his weight was out of control, um, and his intrusive thoughts were very, very destructive. Now me and him sat down for a coffee like two years ago now, two and a half years ago now. We sat down for a coffee and we had a moment where I listened to him, you know, and you know I heard him for the struggle that he was going through. And then what I did is I gave him a friend. I gave him a place that he could come and work at and he could come and try and find community, find some support and then go against some of the thought beliefs that he had. I gave him a voice in his ear that was helping him realise that there is other ways to talk to yourself and that the world isn't so bad and that there is light in life.

Speaker 2 52:46

And this man kept showing up, kept showing up and then he lost his job and he fell right back down. And then he sent me this picture, sent me this image, and it was of a knife and he was like I want to take my life. Give me the courage to take my life. This is the end. And then once again pulled him back into, pulling back into the community, back into the group, took him out, sat him down, we broke down what was going on in his mind and then, um, we kind of set kind of a different perspective of an outside view of it. And then, um, just a daily, a daily um, daily evaluation or goal of just trying to tackle things in small bits and fast forward now. So, to a man that was overweight, to a man that had a very pessimistic mind you know the struggle to connect with other people this man has an incredible body. He has an incredible mind. He's fell into a new faith now as well. It's given him loads of empowerment within himself, in his lessons that he's learning through Krishna. But he's a leader. He brings new people into the group, he speaks for the group um and his whole, his whole demeanor has changed like it's.

Speaker 2 53:56

It's beautiful to see men that come in, they um doubt themselves, they don't know their only um, their own power, their own potential, and then, um, you know, just see the worst in in life's um lessons and in the worst in the worst in the world, and then to see them totally change their perspectives um, the way that they act, the way that they talk about themselves and the way that they perceive it and the way that they they connect with other people is exactly what the group's for. So, you know, I've seen many men. I've seen men come into the group um and not be able to talk. They just stand in the corner and it's seen one words in their social anxieties through the roof. And in that same man that's been in the group now, for you know, a year and a half is like going out and you know, with old school friends and into you know social events and then creating reunions for his old school friends and at one point where he was shaking to actually have a conversation, he's now initiating rooms full of conversations and he's changing career from, you know, building and construction into um you know, health and well-being and supporting other people on the sites with their mental health, with their, their self-care, and being that voice, you know that he's struggled to even use at one point um, and you know there's just many, many examples of that men, men trying to take.

Speaker 2 55:27

You know me ringing the ambulance of and getting the ambulance out there to men that are trying to take their own lives, and then having people out the group go and see them in um, when, when, when they've been hospitalized, when they've been sectioned, and then now they're still a part of the group and they, you know they they're still reaping the rewards and they're back into work and stuff like this. Um, you know that there is, that there is, is the gold of what we do, um. And then for the women, we've had the same, you know we've. We've called the ambulance out for women. We've had women that have struggled to get up out of bed and do things, and then women within the community go around and help them clean their house, help them with their washing and just give them that extra bit of support. And people within these groups making smaller groups. So now they've created friendships that will last a lifetime, and this is what it's about. They're the success stories. It's men walking into the environment when they might have lost a child and their head's totally gone and they don't even know what it is to exist anymore and then giving them some hope, giving them some light in their life and them making new friends or just having a place to call and feel like they're accepted.

Speaker 2 56:43

Um is the is. You know the life-changing experience that it holds, um, and then you know the group. Yeah, my self-development in itself. You know um is is something to be extremely proud of. You know from from where I was, from where I was in my addictions, and you know the confusion of myself and, yeah, finding my power. And then, yeah, somebody. There's big wins, there's always. There's just the. You came to a session, you came to an event the hashtag LookGoodFeelGood event that we just wrapped a Friday ago. We've run that like multiple times in the past three years, um, and every time we run it, you know that that one day has a profound effect on many people's lives yeah hundreds of people come through the door.

Speaker 2 57:36

You know they get clothed, they. They might get their their shape, a face shaven and they're fresh, fade. They get fed, um, and they get. They have a conversation with someone. They. They probably haven't spoken to somebody that's listened properly in in a long time. Um, you know they're massive milestones.

Speaker 1 57:56

They all mean, you know 100%, massive impact, like honestly, and even those individual stories that you spoke of like that's amazing progress and I wish them all the best. I bet as well for you to see that growth I'm in a new version of themselves like the confidence and just the whole change of the mindset. I bet that's really rewarding for yourself as well. Do you know what I mean? Yeah it does something, doesn't it?

Speaker 2 58:20

there's nothing better. There's nothing better in this world to wake up and to be a positive influence on the people around you, like you have to be that for it to work. For it to work, you have to genuinely be it, and I'm genuinely trying to better my own life, trying to self-progress and develop my own life, trying to find how to, to grow into, you know, a a better version of myself in an aspect that I know more about myself. I can, I can feel my triggers, I can understand where they come from. I can, you know, emotionally, understand myself on a different level and detach away from certain parts of myself that are not going to push me back into that life that I used to live, that was, you know, dysfunctional, that was chaotic and it was destructive. And it's a process.

Speaker 2 59:13

I'm a work in progress. You know I'm not the finished product. I'm not perfect in any way, and that's the beauty of it. None of us are. And this is where I'm going to meet you. I'm going to meet you at the part where we're both saying that we've got work to do, and then, some days I'm going to. You know I'm not going to be great and I might even take a step backwards, but I've got the tools and the realization and the awareness to actually now center myself and then get back on to moving in the direction that I want. And you know, to see that with somebody else, to see somebody be doing better for themselves and to believe in themselves and all that. It's the best feeling in the world.

Speaker 1 59:50

Yeah, woo.

Speaker 1 59:51

To that I love it. It's amazing, like seriously, that's so reassuring and encouraging for others, because that's what it's all about the impact you make within your community. But the whole change within yourself is just so inspiring and what you've overcome and it's a reminder as well to others and hopefully a form of encouragement to show that. I know for sure I was very limited in my capabilities, my whole outlook on how I looked at myself. Do you know what I mean? I thought I was quite limited, but it was only opening up myself to a whole new bloody world and becoming this whole new version of myself, I realized that as humans, we're so capable of so much more, and it took me working on myself to realize that, because I never thought that I was capable of that until I started making these small changes. But they made such a big difference, but so much of a big difference, that I felt it and I was just like what is this? I want more of it.

Speaker 1 1:00:46

And you naturally then want to evolve because you want to become that better version of yourself, don't you? Because it just changes your whole mindset up. It changes your whole mental state. But yeah, so it's amazing. So I love what you do and all that, how you even speak, like I can imagine Well, not imagine. I've seen it firsthand how that's helping people. I've heard like testimonials from people to say how much you've impacted their lives and given them the tools to find that within themselves, to make that change as well. Like do you know what I mean? And to be responsible for that is just an amazing thing. Like you should feel so proud of what you're creating here and so an amazing thing like you should feel so proud of what you're creating here and so much more to come.

Speaker 2 1:01:26

Like this is just the start of it. So much more to come. We only just started. We ain't even started yet.

Speaker 1 1:01:29

That's the point we ain't even started yet, and you can feel it 100%, like you're not expected to just stay here and do this. There's so much more to come feel it and I'm so glad that I've got a front row ticket to see it.

Speaker 2 1:01:43

Well, you and me both, and I'm delighted that we've had this connection and now that we are friends, so I can also see your progression as well it's a special thing, and this is what it's about. It's about bouncing off each other and magnifying and amplifying that feeling of success, of seeking things that are bigger than where we are right now. That manifests it, because you don't get it, do you? It's like intoxicating when you actually sit down with somebody and you kind of get love drunk off success, or love drunk off dreaming of bigger goals.

Speaker 2 1:02:22

You know what I mean. Like you, like I sit down with people sometimes and we start talking about their goals or their ambitions and you're like, yeah, that's cool, and what about this? Or you should talk to this and you should try this and they're like yeah, and I'm like, yeah, you should definitely go for that and I think that you're amazing at doing this. And then, and then you just like, lift each other up and like, and then that just pulls back the boat and allows them to just go out and get it well and then you can be in a room and talk about stuff and everyone's like just kills the conversation, just like it's so good, it's so good to like be around.

Speaker 1 1:02:53

Um, the people that are into self-development, you know, people are all at different places as well definitely, but having that excitement for what's ahead do you know, what I mean and I want to instill that in others, because I was at a point where I wasn't looking forward to the future, even where I was currently, and I was too much looking into the past, like and having that regret and those coulda, woulda, shouldas and if I made different decisions, questioning my decisions and my choices that I made, whereas I wasn't looking forward to the future. But that's what life's all about, isn't it? Bloody, being excited for what's to come and knowing that you're in control of it, and you've really helped me at times when had a few wobbles here and there and you've really elevated me and given me the confidence and spoke to me in a way to push me. And that's what it's all about, isn't it? Because sometimes you want, when you do voice your concerns or whatever, you don't want anyone to sit and wallow with you. You need that guidance where someone's going to be like, ok, this is the way you're feeling. However, we're not going to stay here, we're going to do something about it, and you're very much like that. That's why the impact you're making in your community, in your group, people just in general, it's just massive.

Speaker 1 1:04:05

So I hope you bloody realize that it's so good, like, seriously, your whole mindset and the way you think, your outlook on life. Um, I know for sure I had to kind of learn this way of thinking, um, in order to make changes to my life. Like I had to really look it up almost, um, like how we spoke about the whole motivational speech and encouragement, like that, um, where did you learn this from? Have you kind of always had that belief, do you know? Because not everybody does have this outlook and thinking towards.

Speaker 2 1:04:31

I think I think mine come from, I don't know. I think I was the only. I was the first child in my house and one of them in my family, so I got picked up a lot. You know, I'm from a big family so you have to shout out to be heard and so I've always kind of had a overwhelming. Not overwhelming, but I've had a. You know, it brought me confidence because I was really small as well. So you know, I've always had this kind of small man confidence when I was really small as well. So I, you know, I've had an. I've had, I've always had this kind of small man confidence when I was a kid um, to make sure that you know that the bigger lads would notice me, and then, um, and to express myself. So you know, watching, I think you know what, like I said, watching my mom as well when I was a girl, kind of be that kind of workhorse that she like as in, like looking after people and kind of like digging deep and like just pushing through life when life was tough. I think that kind of builds a resilience in you and then that kind of like gives you an attitude that you can do things. And yeah, you know. At the same time, you know it's one of those things it's like when I was a dancer, when I was 14, 15, I loved dancing. I did dancing because I loved it. You know, I didn't really have a big idea of where I was going to go at that age, I just wanted to, I just loved dancing. So I started dancing and it made me really popular within our community. You know, I was in the local carnival and I'd go to these under under 18s nappy nights it's anzi bar and, like you know, lick up some shapes and like it. I was, like I was. I was named like this little white boy that could dance because a lot of my friends as well, the community is like going into jam jar. We're african, caribbean, so you know, uh, it was unusual to see this little white boy popping out some shapes. So that kind of gave my confidence a lot with being being outgoing, with, with new people. Yeah, um, so yeah, I've kind of always embodied it.

Speaker 2 1:06:27

And then once I left school and like I said I was, I left school, I didn't have any strong grades. I went to college for a few weeks and then they wanted me to go back into. They tested me for dyslexia again, which obviously I knew we knew I had, and they put me back in maths and English and I hated it. I hated it. So I bumped out of college, which I was doing performing arts in, and I left. And then I went and did a city and guilds course, which is painting and decorating for kids that pretty much are just, you know, out of college and need somewhere to go um, and I didn't really want to do that either.

Future Plans and Getting in Touch

Speaker 2 1:07:05

And then this woman coming to me in the street, diane ford, which came up to me in the street and asked me if I wanted to be a part of a scheme where they were taking disadvantaged lads out of um, they were taking kids out of disadvantaged areas and putting them into arts. And you know I put my name down on the list. She come back to me. It folded because the council didn't give her enough funding. But she put me forward to a woman that owns a private dance college, miss ann oliver, and they gave me a scholarship and then, as I touched on before my, my community paid for my dad's gift Getting into that private college. Just like, blew my mind. It was like a movie, you know, like Step Up, you know, and with Chan and Tate in it and it blew my mind, and then I was like it was like a dream come true, and then when you have a dream come true moment, you kind of bask in it and then you kind of think, well, you know the what's, what else is possible, what else can I achieve? You know, um, and then I just, you know, I, I was, I, I really pushed into the training, um, you know, I also ended up, you know, getting into a lot of drugs when I was in college. But you know the, at the same time, I was always in college earlier and I was always leaving late. You know, I was dedicated to college and I progressed a lot for a kid in that environment that had no previous dance training, not professional training or classical training, of just more self-taught or like my local dance troupe, um, so I was, you know, within that environment, within that group, I was starting from a back pedal but I had something, because, well, that you know something you can't teach, which is passion for it, which is, you know that, that, that, that self um taught capability of being able to freestyle and stuff. And you know, I, I stuck, took three years and I left three years and I did. I became.

Speaker 2 1:08:57

I went for my first job dancing on a cruise ship and I can remember we'd come into tenerife and we're going because of the mediterranean cruise, I think. I think it was actually, I think it was a, it was actually a caribbean and we started in the med and did the transatlantic and as I'm driving up over the hill towards the cruise, yeah, over the horizon, the ship and I'd never seen a cruise ship before and I just like I was remember I was sitting there and I started to tear up um in my eyes I was, I wasn't like sobbing, but I was crying and I was just like this is not real, like this kid from the bronx, one of the, you know, deprived, most roughest areas in Leicester, um, a kid that you know at one point was at the age of 15, was, you know, um within crime and drugs and getting like 35 year old drug dealers that were threatening to kidnap him and being kidnapped by gypsies and all this other stuff. There's this, this chaos that I used to, that I used to be involved in in my life, um, which, which is just a small example of many more. Um is now traveling the world on this giant mansion. There is um, yeah, you're going to travel to the caribbean and I travel the world. It was, it was unreal. And then and it was, you know, I couldn't even imagine it. It was past my imagination at that point.

Speaker 2 1:10:16

And then, when you start doing stuff like that, you're like, well, I can do anything. What can't I do? If I can do this, what can't I do? And then you have people like your dad's teachers, like Diane Ford and these other people that share with you words of wisdom and share with you words of encouragement that say that actually you are capable of unlimited magnificence. You've just got to work hard, you've got to believe in yourself and don't listen to the naysayers and just fucking get up early, go bed late if need be, or, you know, just believe and accept that you're worthy for it. And you know, life shows you it in different places. So that was my epiphany moment, that was one of my the moments. But you, you never know in life, do you? I believe you know god's always giving you doors to go better your life and then there's always giving you doors that you can walk through to. You know you go in the opposite direction, but would I have done something, just as is the equivalent of this, what I'm doing now, of service, of um, of value.

Speaker 2 1:11:23

If I never met that woman in the street, was it within my destiny or where you know? If that was it within my soul, right to you know, to to continuously push myself until I developed in something new that that made me feel that it was purposeful. Um, and probably probably right. You know, we attract what we are. The reason that woman came up to me in the street is because I was a dancer. She knew I was a performer, she knew that I danced. I used to dance off the street with my headphones on. I used to dance on the corner when my mates would rap, um, mc, like. I attracted that into my reality, which is the reality, um, and it was just the point. If somebody opened the door for me and I was willing to walk into it and give it all, um, there I manifested something out of it because I could have totally thrown away that opportunity. So, like, are you aware, are you, are you? Are you awake to your blessings, and then are you ready to take advantage of them?

Speaker 1 1:12:16

yeah, oh, I love that. It's true so good, and just thank you, god, that it all happened and it all fell into place and where it's going. Do you know what I mean? For sure, definitely, with my faith, 100, I believe it's god-led and people are put into our um, our lives for a reason. Yeah, so thank you. So, obviously, with all that you're doing, with how busy you are and with what I do, I'm all about kind of taking time out to focus on your own self-care, your own wellbeing, nurturing your soul. It's all about that, and I know how crazy busy you are, so I did want to just ask you what do you do to take time out for yourself? And I always like to ask people with their self-care things that they do, um to encourage others to give options to other people, do you not mean? So, yeah, what do you do to take time out for yourself?

Speaker 2 1:13:07

sometimes, you know it's, it's all not it's. You know, getting out with someone and it's close to me, going for, you know, an adventure, going for a walk me and some of the guys who went the car journey down to wales not so long ago, um. And or just watching some anime. You know, just tapping out a bit, getting a takeaway, watching some anime and um, yeah, you know, a lot of the time I am always in process of planning stuff. So, uh, but I enjoy the things that I plan, so my downtime is also some of these stuff that I do for the events. You know it can be, it can be, you know, demanding to create the event, but when you're on it it's like, um, it's, you know it's, it is, it's very relaxing and it's, you know there's, there's a lot of beauty in it. If you're taking a lot of people to Wales for a hike up a mountain, or if you're going for a day trip, or you know if you're, you know, yeah, doing a retreat or just training before.

Speaker 2 1:14:03

That's kind of my downtime, my training, but it's very minimal. But like today, like today's, my day off. So today I'm on weekend shifts because I do a full-time job at the gym, but I've had Tuesday, wednesday, thursday and Friday off. So we're on Thursday. Well, I don't have Tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday off, and you know, it's possibly, you know, a little bit of gold ticking, a little bit of emailing, a little bit of, and then a lot of, just like today, I've not done much. I just kind of got out of bed late, uh, later than usual.

Speaker 2 1:14:40

Um, we're doing this podcast now and I'm gonna have some friends come around shortly because one of them's leaving leicester, so we're gonna have a. We'll have a couple of beers and some pizza, um, before he moves away. So it's just trying to make them. But, once again, these men that come around are all from my group. So you know, this is one of the beautiful things about it as well. So we're sharing these moments again. Um, so, yeah, but I think you know, purposeful rest is important. Yeah, getting around, good people, having some time out go dancing, go and do some some sports or go for a walk through nature, um, go on down the canal for a cold beer or something um, or a smoothie, and then you know, do some meditation, do some reading, you know um, get yourself in a sauna.

Speaker 1 1:15:28

All these kind of things here that are practical and good for rest, yeah and this, and that's what I mean even to highlight that you're working a full-time job and doing this as well, like obviously a lot of people will be at a place in their life where they're doing a job and they want to pursue something else.

Speaker 2 1:15:46

And the reality is like I'm in full-time work now in a job that I I enjoy. That's aligned with my personal training. I'm a gym instructor, I do lifeguarding, you know climbing wall instructor, I do classes, etc. It's all great. It's not where I want to be for the rest of my life. It's only stationary. It's a part that applies, you know, supplies my income and my balance to be able to, you know, live until I can transfer into coaching on a full-time basis and have the charity run itself as well.

Speaker 2 1:16:10

You have to understand that if you want to go to another place, if if you're trying to create a new life for yourself, you know you have to have one foot in one door for the majority of us whilst we're creating that new path, that new knowledge, that put in just as much effort into your future as you do into this day. You know this 40-hour week, so understand you will do it tired. You will do it and it will be overwhelming at some time. But you know pressure is a privilege and you know all that pressure is building you a resilience that's going to allow you to go into a new life with a sturdier soul and with more confidence. But you know, don't expect it to be easy. Expect it to be difficult, and then it's not a surprise, and then work your ass off for it. And then that's why, when we say purposeful rest, rest is purposeful. It's not just oh, I've got nothing to do. There should be always something to do, but you choose to rest because it's important for you yeah, great advice.

Speaker 1 1:17:24

I like it and even, like you said, the reality. You're a great example of doing that the changes that you want. It does take a lot of that tough work work in a full-time job but being so dedicated and committed to it because you believe in it so much and you want it so much so it does take a lot of hard work. So good for you. Like, seriously, um right. So, looking into the future, tell me what are your plans for expanding reach um, an impact of the brotherhood legion and all the other great things that you do like. Tell us a bit about your vision where you're seeing it all going so well this year.

Speaker 2 1:17:57

It's always to do bigger and better every year, which we have done um year in, year out the past few years. But you know, with this year we've done more events. We've done. You know we've done more events. We're doing bigger events um than we did last year. You know we're getting bigger acknowledgement and um you and we're creating a bigger community.

Speaker 2 1:18:17

But self-development wise, right now I'm in two courses one to be a mental health and workplace health and wellbeing instructor. So then I can instruct and do courses on health and wellbeing and mental health and productivity and performance and that lot which is aligned with my coaching and personal training. I could take that into businesses. So that's going to be done within the next few weeks. So a lot more speaking, a lot more education coming up in the future. You know I'm training to be a GP referral PT as well at the minute, so that will be done by the end of the year. So then I can work with the NHS, taking our clients build around mental health and chronic conditions. So these are just little strings to add to the bow but eventually we'll have staff running sessions for the community interest company and I will be a full-time self-development, mental health and wellbeing, life coach, so we'll be able to work on the finer points of what's holding us back, our barriers, our boundaries and then breaking down old thought beliefs and then catapulting them into a new version of themselves, you know, a new painting of what they want for themselves in their future, and then taking that into businesses, taking it into businesses for communication, together with individuals and the system of working together and self-belief.

Speaker 2 1:19:33

And you know of working together and self-belief and um you know, basically breaking through the ceiling, um of what we believe we can achieve together, um for productivity and performance. So it's it's all about coaching. It's all about an alignment of coaching to more independence, um, and you know big, bigger events. You know that's what we're doing. And then we want to help the youth, you know. So we want to. We want to bring more youth sessions into this as well. Help people, help the younger generation um get into, get into more schools, get into universities, try and um influence that, yeah, that the rising, the rising youth and um to unite and to, you know, collaborate and to um to believe that they can achieve more amazing stuff, stuff like seriously, and I can see it all happening.

Speaker 1 1:20:19

It's already happening, like do you know what I mean? So massive things are to come for you and I wish you well with it all. Like seriously, these paths you're making amongst your community, within yourself, your whole growth and what you've overcome, it's just amazing, inspiring, really encouraging and uplifting and I hope it really people are listening and I hope it really appeals to people and really encourages them and motivates them to make some similar changes in their lives. Right, because time is kind of restraint, constraint, whatever the word is. I just want to finish off sadly and there's so much more we could talk about, but how can people get in contact with you? Because I know that people would want to finish off sadly and there's so much more we could talk about, but how can people get in contact with you? Because I know that people would want to work with you. How do they access your services? How can they get in touch with you?

Speaker 2 1:21:04

They can get in contact with me via our Instagrams. If it's at thebrotherhoodlegioncic or at thesisterhood underscore Midlands, they can use our website, wwwbrotherhoodlegioncom, or brotherhoodlegion at hotmailcom. They can get at me on any of them, and then I'm also my own personal Reese underscore MVP coaching.

Speaker 1 1:21:29

Thank you, and just to finish off, just before you go, can I just get some key advice? What advice would you give to somebody that is at a low state? They don't know where to start it? Just what? You spoke of, the pressures that you've experienced with some of your members, and what kind of steps would you take them to first start working on, like the first port of call, if they wanted to make some positive changes to their life?

Speaker 2 1:21:51

I would say, by letting go of other people's expectations and the guilt that you might be putting yourself through, just accepting that right now that you're at base and that you need some support as well, if you're at that position where you're struggling mentally a lot with your rumination, and go to outreach groups and also look for maybe some social networking on online that is having a positive influence, um, and start trying to create an idea or a plan of what you want to do and work on the smallest parts of it and then just build on them on a daily basis.

Advice for Those in Dark Places

Speaker 2 1:22:34

But, you know, start believing that better days are possible and, um, and get around people that are trying to influence that as well, um, and I think that's the best way to start, just just to be like okay, then you know I need help or you know I'm at base. I don't, I don't care how silly I look, um, you know, um, or how, how I might feel from. You know I'm at base. I don't care how silly I look, you know, or how I might feel from. You know, starting from fresh, or you know, or if I'm in a real bad mental state, reaching out and asking for help Because the end of the day, is the people that you feel might judge you are, not the people that are helping you or saving you.

Speaker 2 1:23:15

And if you could do it on your own, then it wouldn't be a problem, because you'd be helped. You'd be so you'd be, you resorted. You need support. So go and reach out, find that support and then, um, gradually, start building on yourself, slowly, but always have a little bit of hope, a little bit of self-belief that you know better days are coming and that you deserve it as well. And that can be the hard thing, but get around people that have found that in you as well.

Speaker 1 1:23:36

I love it. Thank you Such great advice, like seriously, and thank you as well, rhys, for taking time out to sharing what you have done and just telling us all about the amazing things you do, and I know the people listening they're going to be highly inspired and influenced and you're going to motivate them to make some really good changes. So, everything that you're doing, I wish you all the best and, like I said, just thank you for coming on today and I hope you do come on again for another episode, right.

Speaker 2 1:24:00

Yeah, for sure, for sure.

Speaker 1 1:24:02

Okay, but thank you so much once again and thank you guys for listening Seriously. Until the next time, take care you beautiful beans. Bye.

Speaker 2 1:24:10

Okay, peace and love.