Get Unstuck NOW: Conflicting Beliefs Leave You Stuck and Broke

Welcome to LegalBiz Cafe! Digitally remastered with AI, in this podcast series, Attorney Shaune B. Arnold gives to frustrated professionals like YOU the tools and resources you need to make the LEAP to entrepreneurship so you can start, build or fix a business you will absolutely LOVE. 

What if your top values were quietly sabotaging your success? Attorney and NLP master practitioner Shaune B. Arnold reveals how internal value conflicts block your business growth—and how to rewire them. Tune in for a breakthrough framework to finally get unstuck, get focused, and start manifesting real money momentum. 

Transcript

Hello everyone, …and welcome …once again …to this week's episode of legal biz Café. We’re gonna get you unstuck tonight. Who are we? Well, we are me, ...me, myself, and I. 

I'm your host, Attorney Shaune B Arnold, and here on legal biz cafe, we deal with your mindset and the issues that get you stuck and keep you from building your business. I also want to invite you to join me on my other podcast, Your Business, Accelerated! Over there, we deal with the hardcore legal and business issues that can stymie you and derail your dream.

So, tonight, I want to help you get unstuck NOW. You know, I bet you wonder to yourself, what is it? Why do I get stuck? Why do I feel so conflicted about things? I know what I want, I know where I want to go. Why is it that I'm not just able to get there in a straight line? Why is it such a zig zaggy line that is filled with obstacles, and most of those obstacles are internal? Why does that happen?

Well, I have the highest certification in neurolinguistic programming, NLP, in addition to being a California business attorney, former series 7, 63, 65, California insurance licensing and a bunch of other stuff. What I have of value for you tonight is a conversation about what happens when your values are in conflict with one another and what you can do to get unstuck.

This has to do with NLP. We can show you how you're getting in your own way if the problem rests in your values hierarchy. So, you ask, …what is your values hierarchy?

Your values are things that matter to you in a particular area of your life. Your values structure in various areas of your life could prioritize your family, money, freedom, or intimacy. It could prioritize a lot of things. If you were to sit for a few minutes and write down a list of things that are important to you in the area of, say, career and money, it will be illuminating to you. Try to stick to nouns like freedom and family and things like that. Generating this list will really give you a clear picture of what you value in your life.

Here’s the key to understanding your values structure. When you are generating your list, you will get stuck. You will come to a point where you think you have generated the entire values list. I want you to just keep going, allow yourself to get stuck a couple of times. And when you do this and you push through it, you will find an entire list of values. These values that are generated after you get “stuck” are coming from your unconscious mind.

Once you generate the list of values, you want to look at the entire list and pick the most important value on the list. Put it on a separate sheet of paper. Now, look back at your original list. Cross the value you just moved to the new sheet of paper off of this list. Now, look at the list again and choose which value is the most important of all of those listed. Move that to the other list and cross it off of the original list. Keep doing this until you have moved the entire original list to the second list. Now, draw a line under the first five values. NLP tells these five values are driving your behavior in this area of your life. This is because your belief system is actually centered around your values.

NLP tells us that if you change your value system, your beliefs automatically change. This allows you to actually short shrift or shortcut some of the minor psychological therapy that you might do for minor things like getting out of your own way, where you would go to a hypnotist or therapist for not being good at sales, and things like that.

If you have really serious problems, then you do need therapy. NLP, is absolutely not a substitute for a doctor's care. But when you have minor things that are getting in your own way, that are stopping you from making the kind of money that you want, or from having the kind of relationship that you want, or from building your business, then NLP can help you.

Let’s discuss how your values can be in conflict, and you don't even realize it, because, again, your beliefs and your values are held at the unconscious level in your unconscious mind.

Tony Robbins tells us that at a very basic level, we're either moving towards something pleasurable or we're moving away from pain. When your values are in conflict (for example, you want to build a successful business, but you also want to attend your child’s baseball game, or dance recital, resulting in an enormous amount of guilt and resistance to building the business). You can literally be sabotaging yourself, because you're not valuing the things that you need to value in order to get yourself where you need to go.

But it's again, the top five values are driving your behavior. If the things that you need to do to be a wife or a husband are incongruent with being a wife or a husband, then you need to make some adjustments. For example, let's say you came from a really good family, and they taught you to appreciate education and doing well as well as doing good. So, you're successful. 

...I have a client who's a manager of a large retail store, and that's the case. She's very successful, and yet she's always broke. And when you talk to her about her mindset surrounding money, you find that she's running away from poverty because she came from a family that is very successful, but they never let her have any money. They told her, Don't Ask, Don't ever ask. She has a love-hate relationship with money. She finds that it flows through her fingers all too easily.

So, my question to you this evening is, does any of this sound familiar? Do you find that you are successful, and money comes to you easily, but it leaves easily, or that money should come to you easily because you are success minded, but you kind of have that Peter Pan syndrome where you just kind of want to bang the drum all day. You don't want to work, and you have these two sides of yourself that are in conflict.

Well, what do you do about this? What do you do if you want a family and, yet, every time someone says the “M” word to you, …“marriage,” …you turn around and run for the hills. You don't understand why you do this, and you're standing on the precipice of disaster because the love of your life is getting ready to walk out the door. What do you do? How do you resolve this?

Well, NLP, can help you solve any and all of these issues at the level of your values. We can adjust the top five values in your values hierarchy, and it will allow you to continue to move towards money, but stop moving away from poverty, to continue to move towards money, but to stop reaching for freedom in the way that you cannot get out of those flip flops and off of that couch so that you can really think of freedom in working, freedom in building your legacy, freedom in starting building or fixing your business, so that you're actually moving toward freedom in a way that is congruent with moving toward money. Because if all you want to do is sit on the couch and be free, it's really hard to make money that way.

So, you do have to make some adjustments if you find that you value freedom more than you value money, then you might want to make some adjustments to your value system, to drop temporarily that need for freedom and to raise that desire for money in your life.

Again, you've heard me say it. I don't subscribe to the notion that the love of money is the root of all evil. It's the lack of love for people that's the root of all evil, because you cannot help anyone if you don't have money. Jesus was not broke. He had an accountant. Broke people do not have accountants.

Thank you, friends, …once again, …for joining me this week on legal biz cafe. I'm attorney Shaune Arnold, as always reminding you to MAXIMIZE your COMPETENCE to get the CONFIDENCE YOU NEED to succeed.

I'll see you next week. Bye-bye, folks.