Give Yourself a Break!: When High Standards Turn Into Self-Sabotage

Welcome to LegalBiz Cafe! Digitally remastered with AI, in this podcast series, Attorney Shaune B. Arnold gives to frustrated professionals like YOU the tools and resources you need to make the LEAP to entrepreneurship so you can start, build or fix a business you will absolutely LOVE. 

Are you pushing yourself past the point of purpose? In this soulful episode, Attorney Shaune B. Arnold invites high-achievers to pause, reflect, and recalibrate. Discover how to break free from self-imposed pressure, reconnect with your dreams, and accept support—from coaches, counselors, or unexpected allies. Your comeback starts with compassion. 

Transcript

Hello, everyone. And welcome …once again to legal biz cafe. ...I am your host, attorney, Shaune B Arnold. And we are here today for YOU to give yourself a break.

But before we seek solace, …I want to deal with a couple of small housekeeping matters so you know what we’re doing here on LegalBiz Cafe. I've been a business consultant for 40 years and a business attorney for 30 of those 40 years. Here on LegalBiz Cafe, we deal with your mindset as an entrepreneur. We call out the mental bugs that keep you from building your business and …metaphorically …squash them.

I also invite you to listen to my other podcast, Your Business, Accelerated! Over there we analyze the hardcore business and legal issues that will throw a wrench in the works of your iconic business. We resolve those issues. It’s a great show. You’ll get perspectives from a long time business attorney on how to build or fix your business. Really worth it!

So, tonight, we are talking about giving yourself a break. Let me ask you a question. It’s just you and me here. No one will know. …Are you secretly your own worst enemy? Do you hold yourself to impossibly high standards?

This happens with successful people. We push. That's what we do. We push the team. We push ourselves. Sometimes, we push too hard. Sometimes we push until we get overwhelmed. At this point, our heads can become filled with a bunch of static noise. We end up being non-functional. We have become our own worst enemy. We do this to ourselves! Neither our competitors nor our worst enemies can do this to us, but we often do it to ourselves.

Think about the last time you were in a funk. I was talking to my banker recently. Boy, was she in a deep funk! She has convinced herself that she has crested professionally (at 40 years old!). She was convinced that life was going to be all downhill from here. You see, her real dream is to be a singer. She has friends that she sees writing music and attaining success in the music industry …and she’s working in a bank. She said she doesn’t have a goal or dream anymore. She was convinced that it’s all over for her. At 40. Really?? This can happen to people who care so much about what they want and they aren't getting it. Often, they can't see the things they’ve achieved when they’re in the midst of feeling bad.

It’s very important for us to learn skills that will help us to climb out of this mindset and get back on solid footing. If you are struggling like this, If you are struggling like this, really consider getting yourself a coach. When you are in dark places in your life, you will sometimes need somebody else who can pull you out. In these moments, you may need words of wisdom from a trusted friend. This will help you shift back into a place where you feel solid and whole again.

Based on what I have been able to achieve with clients that struggle with a negative mindset, I suggest you get a coach. A coach stands on the outside of your situation. Chances are, they can see things a little bit more clearly and objectively than you can. A coach can sing your song back to you when you have forgotten the words. That's so important. 

Another tip that I would give you this evening on how to give yourself a break is to get professional help if you need it. This may take the form of a counselor or psychologist. There's no shame in counseling. There's never any shame in asking for help. The only shame could come from not asking for help, from having those resources available to you and not reaching out.

Are you in a situation right now where you find your back is against a wall? Are you in a funk you can't get out of and it’s impacting your business? Are you in some situation that you just can't seem to resolve? If so, look beyond the four corners of the box that you might have worked yourself into. There is a solution. There is someone waiting to help you.

There may be someone watching you. They may see the pain that you're in. However, they may feel like they can't reach out to you because they don't want to insult you or hurt you. They may want to be your Savior. Reach out to the people you know while you are in this time of need. You might just find that the very last person you expected to save you will be the very first person riding over the hill to your defense.

Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you for joining me this week on legal biz cafe. I am attorney Shaune B. Arnold. I invite you to follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter X. My moniker in all of those places is Shaune dot Arnold. I look forward to seeing you again right here next week on legal biz café. Until that time, I am reminding you …as always …to MAXIMIZE your COMPETENCE, to get the CONFIDENCE YOU NEED to succeed.

I’ll see you next time on Legal Biz Café. Bye-bye, friends!