Heed The Word

When Two Become One: Why God Hates Divorce

• Pastor Ken Davis • Season 2025 • Episode 32

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Ever wondered why Jesus spoke so strongly against divorce? Pastor Ken Davis dives deep into the spiritual reality of marriage as he examines Jesus's confrontation with the Pharisees in Matthew 19. With unflinching clarity, he declares, "Sin is sin. Adultery is sin. Divorce is sin."

The message reveals how the Pharisees misused Moses's divorce allowance as justification for ending marriages "for any reason." Jesus counters by pointing to creation itself—God's original design where two become one flesh. This spiritual union explains why divorce causes such profound damage. As Pastor Ken powerfully illustrates, "Divorce is like amputation. You can survive it, but there's less of you left after it."

Through careful examination of Scripture, Pastor Ken uncovers the true purpose behind Moses's divorce certificate—not to encourage separation but to protect vulnerable women in a patriarchal society. He explores why Jesus said a man who divorces his wife "causes her to commit adultery," revealing that sin never remains contained but "gets all over everything."

What makes this teaching particularly powerful is its balance of truth and grace. While maintaining God's high standard for marriage, Pastor Ken testifies that "there is no marriage God cannot heal" when couples submit to Him with humility and forgiveness. Even after adultery, reconciliation remains possible through God's redemptive power.

Whether you're married, divorced, single, or somewhere in between, this message will transform your understanding of God's heart for marriage. It challenges us to view our commitments through His eyes and to let our "yes be yes." Tune in for a compassionate yet uncompromising look at one of Jesus's most challenging teachings.

SPEAKER_00:

You're listening to Heed the Word with our pastor and teacher Ken Davis. Pastor Ken is the senior pastor of Calvary Chapel Southwest Metro in Burleson, Texas. Please join us as we study the Gospel of Luke, verse by verse.

SPEAKER_01:

Sin is sin. Adultery is sin. Divorce is sin. Now you say, how is it that this woman can be guilty of adultery, can be impacted in this way with sin in her life when he's the one that left her? Because you see, friends, sin does not happen in an isolated area. Sin does not happen in a contained environment. Sin gets all over everything.

SPEAKER_00:

The Gospel of Luke is the third account in the Gospels of the life and teachings of our Savior, Jesus Christ. As believers, there are few studies that will benefit us more spiritually than studying the life and teachings of the Master. How can we, as believers in Jesus Christ, claim to serve Him when we clearly ignore His commands? He's given us everything we need from life within His Word and from His Spirit. So, if we say we're of God, then we should obey God. It's sad that in today's society we like to pick and choose the commands of God we want to obey. Don't forget to stay with us after today's message to hear more information about He the Word, specifically how you can get a free copy of this teaching. But for now, please open your Bibles to the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 19, verse 1, as we join Pastor Ken.

SPEAKER_01:

Let's see what else Jesus had to say regarding divorce. Turn with me, if you will, to Matthew chapter 19. There's also a section in Mark 10. For the interest of time, we're going to look at Matthew 19 today. In Matthew 19, starting in verse 1, we see this. The Pharisees also came to him, testing him, and saying to him, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? You see, many of them in that day did teach that, that it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason, and they used the law given by Moses to justify that action, and we'll look at that in a moment. And he answered and said to them, Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female? And said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate. They said to him, Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away? He said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality and marries another, commits adultery. And whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery. They wanted justification. And they sought for that justification in the law of Moses. And in the law of Moses, an edict had been given, or permission had been given for divorce after a nature. Let's turn to Deuteronomy 24. Hold your place here in Matthew, because we will be back to look at this in the book of Matthew. But turn, if you will, to Deuteronomy chapter 24. Let's see what they're talking about. Because they're claiming that Moses commanded that they give her a letter of divorce and put her away. So let's see what is the justification of the Pharisees here. Deuteronomy 24, verse 1. When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes, because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house. When she has departed from his house and goes and becomes another man's wife, if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies, who took her as his wife, then her former husband, who had divorced her, must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled. For that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance. Let's look closely at this for just a moment. When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, is that talking about what Jesus was talking about, where he said that except for sexual immorality, there's no grounds for divorce. No, it's not talking about that. The uncleanness that is being referred to here in Deuteronomy is not the uncleanness of adultery or fornication or sexual immorality. Because you see, in the Old Testament, they had a way of dealing with adultery and fornication and sexual immorality. They had a rock concert. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm saying that they would take the person who was guilty of adultery outside the camp and they would stone them to death. Adultery in the Old Testament was not a divorceable offense, it was an offense punishable by death. And so when he refers here to her not finding favor in his sight, or he finds no favor in her, and that he finds some uncleanness in her, what it's saying is that if a man marries a woman and for some reason just doesn't like her, maybe she insulted him, maybe he didn't like the way that she acted, or the way that she dressed, or the way that she kept house. In Jesus' day, this had become such a loose interpretation of the scriptures that if a man woke up in the morning and his wife had burnt the toast, he could divorce her for it and be justified according to the law. That's how loose an interpretation they had of this. Why is it that this was allowed? Jesus said, because of the hardness of their hearts. And if you examine the text there in Deuteronomy, you will understand that that certificate of divorce was given to protect the woman. It was given to protect that man's wife. Because after she has that certificate of divorce in her hand and she walks out of his house, what is she by law allowed to do? To marry somebody else. Whereas had he just cast her out and had not given her any letter of divorce, had she gone and married someone else, that would have been adultery, wouldn't it? Because she was still his wife. And so in his casting her out and giving her the certificate of divorce, she was protected. But then if that husband divorced her, or if he died, the first husband was not allowed to come back and marry her again. He wasn't allowed to say, oh, you know, I don't know, you weren't so bad. Why don't you come on back? What is that? Go away, come here, go away, come here. It's designed again to protect this woman against the hardness of this husband's heart. It was for that very reason that dowries had to be given. When you married a woman and you gave her father a dowry, that dowry was to be kept by her father in the event that you cast this woman out. It was alimony paid in advance, is what it was. It was for the protection of that woman and to provide for her needs should you become hard-hearted against her and refuse her. And so this was allowed, not because God wanted to let people get divorces, but because God wanted to protect the innocent party or the weaker party in this situation. And Jesus tells the Pharisees, he says, okay, yeah, Moses allowed divorce, but it was because of the hardness of your heart that he allowed divorce. It was not that way from the beginning. Well, how was it in the beginning? You see, they pointed back to Moses, Jesus pointed back to the creation. Let's look there. Genesis chapter 2. Now you remember, God has created the world, he's created this beautiful place called the Garden of Eden. And he has created man in his own image. And in Genesis 2, starting in verse 18, we find this. Now remember, God has created man from the dust of the earth, he's shaped him, and he's breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man has become a living being, and God has placed him now in the Garden of Eden. And in verse 18, the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him. Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called, each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all the cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Abraham, and he slept, and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man he made into a woman, and he brought her to the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. They became one flesh. And when we begin to understand what that means, we begin to understand why God hates divorce. Turn back to Matthew 19, and let's see what Jesus comments about regarding those verses that we just read, because he quoted them. Verse 8, chapter 19 of Matthew, verse 8, he said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery. And whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery. Think about this for a second. What is he really saying? He's saying that if a man divorces his wife, that man is committing adultery. Has that woman done anything at this point? No, she hasn't, has she? But now this woman who has done nothing at this point, if another man comes and marries this woman, that other man is committing adultery, the scripture says. Whoa, wait a minute. How is that possible? This guy wasn't there. He had nothing to do with that, right? See, what we don't understand is that adultery is not simply a physical act that takes place between two people, but adultery is both an attitude of the heart and the mind, but it's also a spiritual occurrence. Turn with me to Matthew chapter 5 for more. To prove that adultery is not just a physical act, but is actually spiritual in nature. Let's look at verse 27 of Matthew chapter 5, where Jesus says, You have heard that it was said to those of old, you shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you, for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you, for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish than for your whole body to be cast into hell. Now understand this. If we think that it's our eye or our hand that needs to be cut off, you're sadly mistaken. What Jesus is saying here is not that we should literally pluck out our eye or that we should literally cut off our hand, but he's saying that whatever it is in your life that is causing you to sin, that thing, whatever it may be, needs to be cut out completely from your life. You need to cut it out. You need to cut it off. You don't need to compromise with sin. I spoke to a young man one time who struggled with pornography, and he struggled for many years, and he was a devout young man, and he would say to me, He said, You know, I would repent of my addiction to this pornography and ask God to forgive me, and I know that he would, so I would throw it all away, and then I would stumble and fall, and I would go and buy some more. And then I would repent again and I would throw it all away and I would stumble and fall and I would go and buy some more. Until finally I realized that I was being very wasteful. So the next time I repented, I just put it on my top shelf so that the next time I backslid, I wouldn't have to go buy it again. Cut it off. Don't keep the elements of your sin handy just in case you happen to backslide. Backsliding ought to cost you something. Amen. Furthermore, it has been said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. What? What is he saying? He's saying that if a man divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality, that he causes her to commit adultery? How is that possible? If she hasn't done anything, how is it possible that she has committed adultery? It's difficult to understand. And you know what I've noticed about commentaries? They don't like to talk about things that are difficult to understand. They're like, oh, let's skip that one. And you know, and a lot of churches would like to skip things like this. I was reading about a ministry not long ago, and the pastor was saying, Oh, well, you know, we don't we don't talk about sin at my church. That's condemnation, you know. It's not my job to condemn people. I want people to be happy. You know? Guys, let me tell you something. If I ever come here and I don't talk to you about sin when sin is what this word is talking about, then I'm a false teacher and you need to get rid of me as quickly as you possibly can. Do you understand me? Sin is sin. Adultery is sin. Divorce is sin. Now you say, how is it that this woman can be guilty of adultery, can be impacted in this way with sin in her life when he's the one that left her? Because you see, friends, sin does not happen in an isolated area. Sin does not happen in a contained environment. Sin gets all over everything. When one person sins, everyone is affected. When Achan sinned, the entire nation of Israel came under judgment. Achan, who was he? Well, he was a soldier, right? In the Israeli army. And when they took Jericho, God said, Don't touch anything. You don't take none of it. No loot for you. But Achan took some stuff. He found some nice clothes, he found some silver, he took it, he buried it in his tent. And when the children of Israel went out to fight the next time, they were defeated. Why? Because there was sin in the camp. Because the sin of one man affected the entire body. And when two people in marriage become one, and one of them goes off and does something stupid, don't you think it doesn't affect the other one? Because these two have become one flesh. Let's read on to see what Jesus says about this. Verse 33. Again, you have heard that it was said to those of old, you shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord. But I say to you, do not swear at all, neither by heaven, nor by God's throne, nor by the earth, for it is his footstool, nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great king, nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your yes be yes, and your no be no. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one. When we stand before God and before the congregation, and we make a covenant with one another to enter into the bonds of matrimony, we need to let our yes be yes and our no be no. God said that these two would be one flesh. Jesus said that what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. When divorce occurs, there is a sundering that results in adultery, in damage, in pain. I don't know how to work with wood and things like that. But I understand that if you take two pieces of wood and you glue those two pieces of wood together, and they're well glued and cemented, and they too become one piece of wood. And that glue dries and they're joined. If you later come and try to rip these two boards apart, they will come apart, but not at the place that they were glued. But rather, whichever board has the weaker grain will rip and tear asunder. And divorce is the same way. You see, that's one of the reasons that God hates it. Because when there is a sundering apart of two people that have been joined together, then there is collateral damage on both sides. It's been well said that divorce is like amputation. You can survive it, but there's less of you left after it. When a divorce occurs, you lose something of yourself that was joined to that other person. There is a sundering and there is a pain that results from it. Now, Jesus said that except for sexual immorality, that there was no divorce. Can I tell you that he said that what God has joined together let no man put asunder. Even in the instance of adultery, divorce does not have to be the answer. God has commanded us to be willing to forgive even as we ourselves have been forgiven. And I firmly believe that if two people will repent of their sin and will submit themselves to God and will be willing to forgive one another, that there is no marriage that God cannot heal. I've seen marriages that should have been ripped apart, but by the grace of God and the humility of those in that marriage and their willingness to forgive one another in grace has made those marriages stronger today than they were before the adultery occurred. Turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Scripture gives us one other allowance for divorce. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, let's turn there and see what he says. 1 Corinthians 7 10. Now to the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, a wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband, and a husband is not to divorce his wife. What Paul is saying is listen, as Christians, you are not to be divorced. Now, I suppose there might be an occasion where you needed to be separated, but in that case, do not marry someone else, but work on resolving those issues and be reconciled to your husband, Paul is saying. But then he goes on to say something more. Verse 12, but to the rest, I, not the Lord, say, if any brother has a wife who does not believe, now before, what was he referring to? Two believers, right? Now he's going to talk about a situation where there's one believer and one unbeliever in that marriage. But to the rest, I, not the Lord, say, if any brother has a wife who does not believe and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. What he's saying is, you know what, there were times where two people, and there are times today when two people maybe will come to a church service and one spouse will say, I believe, and will commit their lives to the Lord, and the other will say, I don't want anything to do with that. Well, what Paul is saying is that in that instance, if that other person who wanted nothing to do with that, that unbelieving spouse desires to continue living with the believing spouse, by all means, don't leave them. Stay with them. He says, But to the rest, sign up the Lord say, If a brother has a wife who does not believe and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean. But now they are holy. What he's saying is, there is great benefit to those children if there's one believing parent in the home.

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Truly, these are some of the most difficult times that many of us have ever seen. The economy is bad, work is sparse, and there's no shortage of strife throughout the world. But as believers in Jesus, we've been given many great and precious promises. For instance, listen to this verse, taken from our current study. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear, therefore, you're of more value than many sparrows. You see, it doesn't matter how bad things get. God has promised to take care of us. Today's teaching was only part of a full-length message taught by Pastor Ken Davis on a Sunday morning at Calvary Chapel, Southwest Metro, Burleson, Texas. To hear this message in its entirety, log on to heatheword.org. That's heatheword.org. Once you're there, select the listen online page. Or if computers aren't your thing, that's okay, you can always call us. The number to call is 817-447-5675. That's 817-447-5675. Even if you're not ordering a copy of today's study, we'd love to hear from you. Knowing that God is using He, the Word for His glory, and to encourage His saints is one of our greatest joys. So call us today. This study through the Gospel of Luke has been a real eye-opener. Maybe you've been challenged in some areas in your walk with Jesus. Well, we want to exhort you not to just hear God's word, but to do it. Begin to walk in obedience to the things you're learning. From all of us here at Heather Word, we want to say thank you for tuning in, and may God richly bless you as you see his face.