.jpeg)
Poly Pocket Podcast
Poly Pocket Podcast
PPP #051: Men Are Not Machines - Relating to Performance Pressure
Have you ever felt the weight of expectations in the bedroom, especially in polyamorous and s*x parties? This week, we share Hunter's intimate experiences with performance pressure and vulnerability, along with some lighthearted stories that will (might) make you chuckle.
Ted Lasso
Hello and welcome to the Poly Pocket podcast, the UK flagship podcast of polyamorous and CRM sex parties. And not being a performing monkey Nope, that's right. I won't dance, well, i will. Well, i want to. I'm Hunter, i'm your friend, occasionally sapient monkey maybe Butcher is here. Butchie, what kind of excuse me, more super? that's the wrong kind of animal. What kind of, what kind of quadruped are you today? I'm not a quadruped, what are you?
Speaker 2:I hope I'm, human.
Speaker 1:We'll find out in a few days time. In a moment, we're going to be talking about how, sometimes, men can be expected to perform. This takes up a number of impacting factors which can sometimes take the wind out of a guy's sails and cause a lot of disappointment and, as such, some internal angst. We'll get to that in a minute, though, but first deal is that we have our weekly application of polyfiller.
Speaker 2:So yeah, we've. It's slowly ramping up in the life of poly for our household, isn't?
Speaker 1:that It is. We've selected our outfits, we've checked them well once, if not twice.
Speaker 2:I don't mind, once A bit concerned about putting it on again.
Speaker 1:Why.
Speaker 2:Just having a bit of a crisis of confidence.
Speaker 1:You really don't need to have a crisis of confidence. Thank you, That's very kind. I can point to you several people who've commented on your photograph on the internet recently. It goes to wwwpurchasecom. No, please don't.
Speaker 2:It's a bit like at work. today someone said to me I spent the afternoon looking up foot ulcers. What Don't do that? What, What, Why It's something I'd ask them to do.
Speaker 1:This is an insight into your work life that literally nobody needs.
Speaker 2:And if I?
Speaker 1:had to. Even you don't need.
Speaker 2:And no, and literally I doubt anybody could actually link it to what it's supposed, what it actually is. So there we go.
Speaker 1:I'm alarmed for your work life. What we are preparing for, though, is some of all. some of all is this from our point of view this coming Thursday It is.
Speaker 2:We are hoping we're going to be able to make it because we have a pending family situation. We're just not sure at what point it's going to hit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'll update you on next week's episode. whether we go or not, You won't be able to tell by the title of the episode, Although the next episode is going to be our 52nd. therefore completes our full year.
Speaker 2:It doesn't. I thought about this because we did an additional win, so 53. 53 is actually our year to be. make it slightly confusing for people.
Speaker 1:This is great news because it means I've in. The thing that I love in life is when I get a little bit more time to finish my homework, because I have not done my homework for the end of year review. But other things this week, hmm, interesting, yes, very. Would you like to elaborate on what was interesting this week?
Speaker 2:So some long-term listeners notified us as to the fact that there was a weekender group on the We Are X app and it was called Kitchen Table Polyamory. So we thought you know what? let's, we're big fans of kitchen tables, aren't we? I'm not a big fan of our kitchen table. I fucking hate it. Fine, i always have done. Fine, that came from your previous relationship to me. No, it didn't.
Speaker 1:Well no, the kitchen table came from my first home in Manchester in 2006.
Speaker 2:That's true, and you still fucking hate it. I still fucking hate it. It's a sofa that came from your previous relationship. Yeah, but you gave birth on that. That's fine. Yeah, very much marked my territory That one didn't.
Speaker 1:I went overboard a little bit to, as a mocking the territory, have a child.
Speaker 2:Not going to piss on it. I'm going to give birth on it, not that that's what we do in polyamorous setups. But we didn't realise we were poly at the time, so I don't know where I'm going with this Massively off topic.
Speaker 1:Let's bring you back to kitchen tables.
Speaker 2:So I think anybody who's listened previously, kitchen table in the terms of polyamory is very much, where everybody within the polycule effectively acts as one big unit, maybe as strong as family, and the idea being is that everybody within that construct my favourite word, as we know would be able to sit down around the table and share a meal together and, in a way that, you know, people who are very close to one another families, friends, etc. Can hence the name. And we joined this group and, my God, only a bunch of superstars. Yeah, what a breath of fresh air.
Speaker 1:Apart from the odd person who, effectively, in the story of the kitchen table is someone who slams it or open says I want dessert. And then everyone's like middle of eating their main meal and then bugger off again. But those exceptions aside, everyone's been lovely.
Speaker 2:Well, that's sort of behaviour is exactly why we do the don't be a dick campaign. They people like we are x do don't be a dick campaign, because that very much summarises the type of behaviour that could preclude, preclude, exclude, preclude. More offensive, even more offensive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which is yes?
Speaker 2:Thank you. So yeah, it was so nice to be part of a group of mainly UK based people. There's the odd couple of expats.
Speaker 2:There's a couple of expats, but I mean, as in the sense that we've always said that we're doing this podcast from the point of view that, as a middle class English basis, in the sense of, you don't find many people like us as far as we know within our section of society And therefore you can feel quite out on a limb. So, therefore, coming into this group and finding other people, some younger, some older, most of whom have got a great deal more experience than we do And I'm not talking about sexual experience, i'm talking about handling of relationships, conversations, how they've got to where they are, it's just like, oh, it's so nice not to be of the know-it-all, so to speak.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's been reassuring and politely intimidating at the same time. Hmm, i'm going to say I really like it because, yeah, we do the podcast, because we felt there was a oh, it feels twattish to say a gap in the market, i need to say a gap in the market.
Speaker 1:I'm going to do something that sounds twattish to say I thought it was a gap in the market and there wasn't enough resources for people like us, who looked and sounded like us And you've said it before like if you're in America, go to town. There's loads of people and that's fine. I'm sure.
Speaker 2:I would love to hear from any American listeners. We've said this before. If we're completely wildly off the mark and making some very extreme statements here that you fundamentally disagree with, please let us know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i mean I have asked the expatting question on that group and I'm waiting for I haven't had a chance to check see if they responded. But yeah, we're making this world assumption that it's much easier in America than it is over here, but then doesn't mean we know everything. It's just that we decide to speak out about it or up about it maybe.
Speaker 1:And then having a bunch of people who've got, like you say, more experience, join that group and then say here's my experience, there's me, my three partners, my spouse and their two partners, and yeah, we all get on great.
Speaker 2:Or we've met and that's enough or whatever, but yeah.
Speaker 1:And everyone's making a lot of. I mean also the full range of experience. So people who they want it, their partner doesn't, or they would like to get into it, but they're not sure of this to them or feeling the feelings of insecurity. You get from going poly that all of this has happened in basically the past 24, 48 hours.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's been eye-opening.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:A bunch of things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, just very reassuring, i think, because even within the groups that we move, within the people that we've talked about on this podcast, etc. A huge number of them are again going into navels.
Speaker 1:Nables.
Speaker 2:Nables, I genuinely I think I need to start drinking again before recording these things.
Speaker 1:We're going to start to pull.
Speaker 2:Should Butcher be pissed to run this podcast.
Speaker 1:Generally, but for this podcast in particular.
Speaker 2:yes, Yeah, i feel like it. Oh sorry, team, team Poly, team Poly, that's a t-shirt. So we have friends within our network who probably are more E&M, c&m, swinger, swinger, swinger. Yeah, Very few within the close network that we knew prior to this group would say They're a poly, i think. So I can probably count on one hand. Even those of whom you might think are poly may not actually say that they are, and Bunny always said that she was poly. I think she said it in her first interview with us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Yeah, she was on that, so, but this is now how it's. Well over 100 people in the group now, isn't it? No, how?
Speaker 2:many is in the group Within the group that Wax put together. Yeah, i think it's 110 last time I looked. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then, because that's a temporary group, we have the weeds too much here, yeah.
Speaker 2:Because it's a temporary group, we've all decided to set up our own group. Yeah, which is lovely, yeah.
Speaker 1:But there's a good bunch and it's just nice getting to know them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so thank you, wax again. As always, free marketing. Oh, you're a lot.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so poly filler, not a lot going on this week. We'll have more next week, hopefully, hopefully. Let's see how this family crisis is not withstanding.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's just a play by the year.
Speaker 1:Indeed. So this week we're talking about men aren't robots And the pressure that men sometimes feel they need to perform. And maybe what we mean by perform we should come back to later, But do you want to talk about the scope of this first?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Absolutely. And before we start getting down into the weeds of this one, I'd just like to say that when we use the terms men, man, male, anything referring around the masculine, we're referring to all people who identify as this, And I think we might have a resource. But if that person doesn't step up to this, I wouldn't say challenge but Opportunity, Opportunity. Basically, we are not experts. We are still learning our way around some of the language, etc. Because you know, it's ever forming and moving on. But yes, so we'd like to thank some of our long-term listeners for this particular topic. I think you'll know who you are. They are huge supporters of ours. That also, would you say, very, very good sounding board for us. They keep us honest is what I'd say.
Speaker 1:Excellent feedback.
Speaker 2:Mm. Yeah, on all levels. So thank you to both of you and in order to sort of respect that and give you both a thank you, we'd like to pick up on this topic because it was one that you suggested to us quite a few months ago and it's been sat waiting in the wings Exactly.
Speaker 1:So for the purpose of this episode, butcher is going to be interviewing me. There's a series of questions I can't wait regarding the precious men can feel in the bedroom when they effectively can't perform. It says in the words here I think I'm ready for this. That is a lie. That's part of the script. I'm not ready for this, but carry on anyway.
Speaker 2:Well, if you will go out for career advancing dinners and leave me to deal with the preparation for the podcast, and this is what you get, and the kids. Well, you get the kids. Are you taking them out with you next time?
Speaker 1:No, i'm saying you do all the kids because I would have. Oh okay, i see This is my punishment. You get to ask me, but I'm ready now. I'm ready for punishment. Crack on. I've not read these questions. I don't know what's coming.
Speaker 2:Okay, cool, so bear with me. Answer as honestly as you can, or save You. Don't want to go into any detail or edit the hell out of it.
Speaker 1:There is that option as well.
Speaker 2:Yes, that is your job. So question number one Have you ever had a time where you felt under pressure to perform in a sexual situation And yes, the cue And has it impacted your ability to do so? if so, which you've just answered? how?
Speaker 1:How many times has this happened? I'm now trying to arrange for specifics, but there's definitely lots and lots of times that has happened over the years. Like as a general rule, i'd say quite a lot of it is down to the usual thing of either being too tired or too drunk to perform. Not just that, there's been times when I have just not been feeling it, i've not been engaged by the person appropriately or in a way that is stimulating, and so therefore, i've just been like, yep, it's just flopping about, nothing to say here, almost literally. But there's other times as well, and I okay this. This is very, very recent, so two days ago, two days ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but say over the weekend.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we were engaging in some activity. We were 60 and 90 each other.
Speaker 2:And what have you done? Get my funny burn. Was it funny? No, don't have a serious conversation.
Speaker 1:With your funny burn.
Speaker 2:Oh man, sorry for the for the absolutely saying it.
Speaker 1:We were 69 and it felt great, but just it took a while for you to realize, but I wasn't hard.
Speaker 2:It did seem to take you by surprise somewhat.
Speaker 1:I couldn't, it was all just because it felt good. My body wasn't responding to how good it felt. Hmm, or those are two different mechanisms. They're usually very tightly coupled, but they don't have to be. You can be hard and not have fun, and you can have fun and not be hard, and a bit like this is definitely the way it's now, when you've sometimes tried to find your orgasm if that makes sense And you find that there's different processes going on that you not you people can fleet them.
Speaker 1:So this leads to that, that leads to this get back into benefit and excellent technique territory and don't always work in the right order, the right sequence, and so how things feel and how things are and what your body is doing don't have to be a light is great when they are. When they're not, you can still have like fun and not be hard. But to answer your question, it's happened a lot. It's happened in, it's happened with you in the past. We said in last week's episode when I was deep into marathon training. I struggled to perform then because my body was just exhausted all the time We both did to be fair.
Speaker 2:Yeah, didn't have to worry about getting a hard one. That was, i think, the first time our sex life had ever been impacted by something.
Speaker 2:Because I think it was about 18 months into our relationship and we started training for that And we were both training hard and both working quite long hours and it was long before people regularly worked from home. I definitely didn't, no, you definitely didn't. I bet he won't Back then. Back then, yeah, okay, interesting, can I? I'd just like to point say something which I've not said to you yet about Saturday evening. I actually was quite quite I was enjoying that aspect of it myself. I felt that there was something very intimate about the fact that you weren't rock hard but still enjoying it, and I think men, from what I've seen, can feel very vulnerable or useless or whatever, if they're not hard. Yeah, and actually I was just enjoying going through the motions. Going through the motions sounds a bit benign, more positive aspect of that.
Speaker 2:But yeah, just like, and we got. You know, we very much got there in the end, but it was so nice that it actually took a bit of time and I felt very honored almost, that you kind of were enjoying it so much without being in that state.
Speaker 1:That's very kind, Thank you. I think gullies do a lot of like. Gullies fuck themselves up a lot is the only way I can say it, because I think there's a not all of us, but a lot of us have a version which is if you are not like some mustled adonis with a big dick, you're somehow failing in life, And the only big case, what's the body confidence thing is, no one else cares, And the evidence is that you know you're not a leper and no one's like avoiding you from how you look and how you are, but you convince yourself that they are and it's like well, that's just not true.
Speaker 2:You do realise, though, about stepping away too much from this. this is the conundrum that women find themselves in, and I think women have a bigger pressure around how they should look and how they should act and what they should be. You know, i'm seeing a lot of commentary on the internet, and I do get it, as, i think, you know, as an alpha female, at times I kind of out alpha myself, i alpha myself into situations where I find myself extremely busy, extremely stressed. I'm torn between the children, work, you other partners, my friends, my football team.
Speaker 1:In that order.
Speaker 2:Football Football kids, me Partners, Football kids partners me No, not at all. But you know they're all interchangeable and etc. But they're in the sense of what's at the forefront of my mind at that particular point in time. But you know, there was a time when Women were just expected to sit at home, not sit at home, be at home. Yeah, I'm raising doilies raise the children And that was the only expectation. But you know there was still that expectation. You know women had to conform To whatever society dictated for them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in all fairness, the way society works is, you know, everybody has an expectation against them. Just when I wear, you are in that. That's a structure that has expectations, every part of the structure. The thing is is that usually men had more saying where they were in the structure and women didn't. Okay, okay it doesn't make any better, by the way. I just saying is that it's not that there's an avoidance of expectation, it's the control over the expectation.
Speaker 2:Interesting okay, something to another one to unpack.
Speaker 1:Another podcast just started.
Speaker 2:So it doesn't have to be Saturday night per se. You can think back to various other times where you've experienced this situation. But what is it that's going through your head during these situations and do you feel present? Do you feel distracted? What's going on?
Speaker 1:This is this is I've. I say it's interesting the inside. I find the inside of my brain fascinating, except fine. I think this is interesting Usually anecdotally. I think a lot of men are visual in terms of the way they fantasize about stuff.
Speaker 1:I usually find that I can't concentrate on something. There were two scenarios actually, one of which is my body is asleep, and the one is my brain is not, is not asleep, but, as my brain is asleep and my brain's not working for me, if a body's asleep, it's a physical effect I'm tired, i'm drunk, i'm tired and drunk. That's that's kind of it. The other one is when I just cannot get my inner Fantasy part of my brain going, because, even if It's just you and I having sex and I'm thinking about you and I having sex, i'm thinking about you and I having sex There's a bit of an inner loop there going on. If that breaks, then my body's doing something.
Speaker 1:My brain could be off doing something else, like, yeah, i'm having sex with butchers, but I'm also doing my tax return. Yeah, cool. That doesn't really work very well. So what usually happens there, though, is my brain is is is off doing something else, and the worst times are when it's flicking between lots of different things And sometimes there's lots of different sexual scenarios, because, again, it's kind of like I like watching you with other people. So sometimes I'll think about those things And it's sometimes real, sometimes imagined. Some of these things that I've been past you, some of these things you've told me, sometimes it's just you and me that I'm thinking about. But if it keeps on like It's like a record skipping if you, if you don't record is Me, or there's some younger ones.
Speaker 1:Record is Let me tell you about VHS types.
Speaker 2:Um, there's a blockbuster on the street corner crying someone.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, if you, if the record keeps skipping, then that's where I find it hard, because you have, your imagination is just not operating on your behalf.
Speaker 2:So do you feel that you, you have to have the imagination piece engaged, regardless of who you're having sex with?
Speaker 1:You don't have to, it's also fine if it's turned off. No, think about it. What happens is, if it's on, that's fine, if it's off, that's fine. But if it's the distraction of like going, hmm, there's that time when it was you mean, somebody else is. This time It was you and someone else and me. And there's the other time it was just you and me and there was us on the balcony, and then, yeah, but if the keeps, if the track keeps changing, that's You didn't get it very much. Like a lot of things in sex, you don't get into a rhythm, okay, and it's my brain being out of a rhythm hmm, okay, interesting.
Speaker 2:So Has there ever been times Where you've been impacted by this Just purely because you've just not wanted it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2:Yeah you don't don't have to go into it, i'm just yeah, it's.
Speaker 1:It's hard to elaborate because it feels like it be, if you Yeah, if you just not into somebody or something, or the situation just feels a bit like.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:This is not, for me, forced. Yeah. Yeah, it's tricky because You don't be demeaning of someone, but if you're just not feeling it, someone's not. If it's forced, hmm, like I thought I wanted this but I didn't, and then you can't really back out of it because you got so far and you feel like It's a terrible thing, obliged to do something.
Speaker 2:Hmm, is it also sometimes the approach of the individual? because I Correct me if I'm wrong I feel like people who are overtly poor. Me and I know that sounds Very strange when we're two people that frequent sex parties and sex clubs etc. But anybody who is like very, very pornographic or extremely loud or Things like that, like how does that?
Speaker 1:scratching. I tell you what you? Something pulls me out Like instantly is scratching? You know there was sometimes. People are really into it, that's fine, i'm not. Yeah, instantly like that's not my thing. Interesting really. Like loud showing off a bit of exhibitionism is fine, and then after a while it ends up being like Don't know, pony, showing off type stuff gets a bit too much. And then Again, you're not doing this for me, you're doing it for them. And then you get into, i get into my own head, and I lose it again.
Speaker 2:Hmm.
Speaker 1:I don't mean rubbish in the porn industry. Let's face it, I would be overthinking it all way too much. Um, not that career option was ever open to me because I don't live in California.
Speaker 2:But Could have well, could have been. It's these days.
Speaker 1:I'm I'm not sure. Our part of the southeast of england is like big on porn. Hmm, how do I know that?
Speaker 2:True, there is a company relatively close by. We were informed.
Speaker 1:Really, oh Okay, after this episode, we're gonna have a talk about this.
Speaker 2:Okay, um, so have you ever been made to feel bad for not being able to perform?
Speaker 1:Arguably not. I think most It's exclusively women, but there's obviously a range of options out there. So there's exclusively women and I think it's happened to everybody at some point into. Everyone kind of understands, with one exception My first time, my very first time having sex technically, my second world talk about another day Um, my girlfriend at the time. I couldn't Sorry I'm gonna have to go into the story because it's just too funny I put the condom on backwards So couldn't get it over, and then by the time I kind of like resolved that problem, i had gone soft and then I couldn't get it up again and then she laughed.
Speaker 2:Oh no.
Speaker 1:Which is, as Robin Williams said, what's the best form of contraception ever invented? It's a woman pointing and laughing. So that worked.
Speaker 2:I know you're talking about it very tongue-in-cheek and like it doesn't bother you, but do you feel that that's ever given you, on reflection in this day and age, a level of trauma or concern?
Speaker 1:100% Really.
Speaker 2:Yes, i have had problems with genital sexual confidence for decades after that, and if you don't mind me going too deep into the weeds, considering you've had operations and stuff around there, was that pre or post that time?
Speaker 1:They were all post that time, so that didn't help.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you had the operations post this girl laughing at you, yeah, so that probably really compounded the issue.
Speaker 1:It did.
Speaker 2:Interesting Yeah, so I don't know.
Speaker 1:I want to start to be about this. I'm going to leave the raw, raw detail on the side, but let's just say it wasn't until really you and I got together that I realized that there's nothing wrong with me. Really When you say that is it only nine years ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's a long time. There's 20, actually it is literally 20 years of having issues and lacking confidence around that. Wow, yeah, see, butch fixes everything.
Speaker 2:Again very honored that you feel that way? That's true, thank you. So do you think there is an expectation on men to want and be able to give sex all the time, at the click of fingers?
Speaker 1:It depends on the individual. It's definitely happened. There's definitely a some people and it is very, I think, it's individuals. Again, I'd you know I'm like I don't like broad, sweeping generalizations about things, which is my version of labels for you, But some people just won't expect it. Is that right? You're at a sex party. You should just be able to do it. You're in this situation, you're naked, get on with it And it's like that's not, that's not how it works. So, yeah, I think there is sometimes an expectation, But there's also there's a bit about this.
Speaker 1:I kind of there's the other side of it is how to put it. There is an expectation that if you're not hard, that you're not enjoying yourself, And I think that's the bit I want to call out is the opposite is what's. That scenario is also true. So you can be just soft watching How many great time to the day you were giving me head and it was felt great, but it wasn't hard. So what I brought it up is is that the you don't have to be hard to have fun, and someone expecting you to be hard so they can have fun is missing out on all the other things I can do without my penis. So you know there's a short sightedness to it almost.
Speaker 2:And I think there's that pressure as well around, particularly in the lifestyle that we're in, as that expectation to just keep being able to go and go and go, and I know you've been complimented for it previously on your stamina at parties.
Speaker 1:There's a one off involving blue pills and sushi. That's it.
Speaker 2:However, you know it worked And do you mind that it actually plays into a bit of a fantasy, i think, for both you and I, which is is it part of what you like about there being additional men in the room, knowing that I get a break, quite like that, but I can continue to enjoy myself, which I can anyway. You know we can do, or we can do fingers, we can do toys, girls, girls, yes, but is that part of that particular setup or fantasy that we both enjoy?
Speaker 1:The longevity piece? not really. No, there's no. I'm trying to work out my fantasies again.
Speaker 2:Well, can I be honest. Okay, it's part of what plays into the fantasy for me, because you and I get into such a good rhythm, you know, and it feels so fantastic, but, as we know, i have never orgasm through penetrative sex. We managed, with a toy and Gollum a few weeks back, for me to actually do it. I've not been able to do it since. I'm sure I have the ability and I'm sure my sex therapist would inform me that, that I 100% have the physical ability to do it. It's a mind block, however, for me, if we're going through that wonderful rhythm and eventually it's going to have to change, so down or end, yeah, and therefore having the ability to have other people where that rhythm and excitement could continue is part of that fantasy for me.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, sorry, i had a different thought. No, i get that completely And I'd say there is. it's a benign phrase, but a change as good as a rest, it's a bit like that. So there's been times when there's been me, you and one of sometimes two other women in the room, and then alternating is my version of that, which is the little differences of what is thrilling, and in that scenario I was fine with performing because I was very excited.
Speaker 2:Really You being in a room with three women to yourself, you were very excited. I was very excited, And it didn't just happen once. Did it Hunter? No, it didn't.
Speaker 1:Butch, are you planning some sort of recursive move in a similar vein?
Speaker 2:Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.
Speaker 1:That's a yes, listen.
Speaker 2:So at the moment, you don't have any additional partners that you're dating? Yes, not at the moment. No, not at the moment. Do you find that your ability to perform is impacted by the number of partners that you have, because there was a point that you had three. Yeah, do you find there's differences between having one and having three Interesting?
Speaker 1:one. There was only one time when there was a bit of like pressure, because I think it was. It's been a couple of times. It's been like three people back to back in the space of 24, 36 hours And that's kind of hard to do And, yes, that can be difficult to perform Again, because you're both tired and, as it were, spent and it takes a bit of time to recharge your batteries. So, yeah, sometimes that could be a problem. There's ways of overcoming some of that, but that's not. That's more of a. Again, that sort of fits into the. Your body's tired rather than. I didn't want to, i wanted to, but body was exhausted because also thrown into that was usually a lot of travel or other things as well. Lack of sleep.
Speaker 2:And that, yeah, yeah, okay, fair enough. What I suggest is that we actually leave this here now, other than one last question. Do you have any tips for any other men experiencing this?
Speaker 1:I think the first thing is identify the source of the problem. Is it you can't perform because you drink, you can't perform because you're tired, you can't perform because you're anxious about something else or something else? Because the first two you can solve in non-sexual means. The anxiety one, again, it's a bit different because the source we have to work out what the source of anxiety is and try and work out what that is. And yeah, the other one is just like that's a miscellaneous box or everything else.
Speaker 1:In terms of if it's a real problem, there's medical things that can stop you. Erectal dysfunction is a real condition. It could be down to lifestyle, weight, hydration, smoking, testosterone levels. All these things can be thoroughly checked out And, if you provide, you go through some basic medical checks if you want to have a potential solution to it. As again, we're back to little blue pills being a useful resource for overcoming it.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't become dependent on them. I wouldn't say I was, but they did give me the confidence to realise again, stepping back a bit, i spent more time than I should in looking at like I was convinced I was low on testosterone because I'd hit my forties And that's where everything was going wrong And I was wrong. It wasn't that, it was I was tired and stressed and other things And I was probably drinking too much. But yeah, once you've taken more little blue pills and you realise, oh no, everything's absolutely fine, then everything's fine. You kind of convince yourself just through almost it's not sheer willpower. But once you've got proof that everything's fine, you find everything is fine. So yeah, there's just a few things for thought. Again, if it was going to be anything particularly they'd like to talk about, i would. I'm happy to provide my thoughts, but I'm an automatically expert. So I would suggest if you are having erectile dysfunction issues, get in touch with an expert.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you very much for all of that.
Speaker 1:You're very welcome.
Speaker 2:I was going to say we should probably skip the media review for this week because we have spoken at the length around that particular topic And I don't feel like we do a media review, particularly any justice if we went down that route at the moment. So, if you don't mind, i'm going to indulge you with what's in my pocket.
Speaker 1:And this week's motivational speeches.
Speaker 2:It's not a motivational speech. I decided to. I feel like I'm in the mood for changing tact. I might change back to it next week. We'll see how it goes, You're so mercurial.
Speaker 2:Thanks. I wanted to pick up on a quote from our favorite TV program, which is where one of the characters says to the other about being heartbroken And the other one responds I'm not heartbroken, i'm just a bit heart bent. And I just thought that's such a good description And, having been through a lot recently, i feel that's very much where I'm landing right now. I'm heart bent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, now I feel that, yeah, and for everyone who hasn't worked out what that is, that's Ted Lasso.
Speaker 2:Oh, sorry, did I not say? You didn't actually say that. I assumed you all knew by now.
Speaker 1:My nation. Yeah, it's Ted Lasso. It's on Apple TV plus. As someone said on a podcast under the podcast I listened to, it's the greatest innovation that Apple's had in the past five years.
Speaker 2:I also like it because the character who says she's heart bent is referring to the relationship she's had with another woman. So yeah, on point, yeah.
Speaker 1:With that, though, do you listen?
Speaker 2:Thank you very much for this week, Hunter.
Speaker 1:You're very welcome And keep us and your protection in someone's pocket, but close out. Take care folks.