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Poly Pocket Podcast
Poly Pocket Podcast
PPP #069: What Happens in Amsterdam... Gets Alluded to on a Podcast in England
Episode 69!!! (sorry, not sorry)
Ever wonder what life's like in Amsterdam's infamous Red Light District? Imagine the vibrant bustle of the pubs, the openness of a sex club, and even a spontaneous decision to get inked. That's exactly the kind of whirlwind adventure we embarked on during our weekend in Amsterdam. From stumbling across a group of South Africans in a pub to kicking off candid conversations about our open relationship, we embraced an exploratory spirit that set the tone for a truly unforgettable trip.
We found ourselves drawn into the heart of Amsterdam’s open lifestyle - it was an adventure like no other. As our journey unfolded, we ventured to Fata Morgana, a sex club on the outskirts of the city. We were met with unexpected sights, sounds, and experiences that culminated in a surprising nine-person orgy. But this trip was about more than just the physical. We delved into BDSM, explored the power of trust, and even managed to squeeze in a champagne breakfast at the airport and a Himalayan massage that was painfully unforgettable!
Amsterdam's polyamorous culture was a revelation. We explored the candidness and normalcy with which the Dutch approach their adult relationships, a stark contrast to the culture back home in the UK. This trip was filled with much more than the typical sightseeing - swinging, drinking, and a whole lot of open conversations. From the pubs to the art exhibitions, from the School for Life Cafe to our experience in a local sex club, our Amsterdam adventure was nothing short of transformative!
Hello and welcome to the Poly Pocket podcast at the UK Flight Ship Podcast of Polyabros and CNM, sexpotties and People from Newcastle. They're everywhere. It turns out, absolutely everywhere. Yes, and they've been everywhere. Hello, I'm Hunter. I'm your friend. Butcher is here. Butcher, how are you? I'm broken. You're poorly again, aren't you?
Speaker 2:I'm a broken woman.
Speaker 1:But satisfied with the manner of your breaking.
Speaker 2:It was worth it?
Speaker 1:It was definitely worth it, this entire episode. We're talking about our recent little sojourn to Amsterdam. We had a long weekend Song's Children to experience the sound, smells and delights of a foreign city. Fair, Very fair, Very fair. So this encompasses everything from media, what's in your pocket, what's not in your pocket, what has and is no longer in your pocket, and also Polyfiller doesn't really say it's a bit of everything, isn't it? Sorry, say that again, just saying we're covering a lot of ground here, aren't we? Yeah?
Speaker 2:and we're not doing those things is what you're saying.
Speaker 1:I was going to say we are doing those things just by default.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, right, okay, like I said, I'm not very well, probably not.
Speaker 1:So let's just talk about well, the polypods, just the polypods. For a holiday. We did non-poly stuff, didn't we?
Speaker 2:The problem is it's also integrated. It's very difficult to break it down like that.
Speaker 1:We are going to talk and you're going to listen and you might like it, and then we'll get to the end. How's that?
Speaker 2:I mean yeah.
Speaker 1:It's how we normally do this, isn't it yeah?
Speaker 2:I think you're overthinking it.
Speaker 1:I've never been accused of ever thinking anything before in my life. That's an absolute shock, anyway, so we got there on Thursday. We humbled our own town.
Speaker 2:Yeah, had the best burger and sweet potato fries. Yeah, random, like pub, literally just turned up to me first one. Regretted it. That was the next day, mine was pretty much the next hour.
Speaker 1:No, I'm fine.
Speaker 2:Because it's not the stuff I normally eat. But my God, I don't want that.
Speaker 1:So the holiday started with a bang. And then Friday, no, oh no, go on. Sorry, read the notes. I'm back on the notes now. Had burger, went to the Midlife District because you should do that when you're there. It was raining, so we went to a pub, we went to another pub and, of course, what do you do when you're in a foreign city and you go to random pub and someone starts talking to you and you're not sure where they're from.
Speaker 2:Where they're from it wasn't quite like that. You were in the toilets.
Speaker 1:Okay, not because of the burger.
Speaker 2:I was sat at a table on my own and Watching the football, watching the football and a young, very good looking gentleman came up to me and said do you mind if we put our drinks on your table? And I said of course, it's just me and my husband here, so it's not a problem. And him and his five other South African mates then put their drinks down. And then he said where are you from? I said I'm from the UK. And then they shout over to the one girl who's been traveling with them for the best part of three months. Basically, she went to school round the corner from where we live.
Speaker 1:Yeah, literally, it's literally three miles down the road.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's basically how our holiday went from there on in. Yeah.
Speaker 1:We were in a foreign country and everyone we met was British.
Speaker 2:In many ways. Yes.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's kind of how it felt. So hello if you're from Wales Newcastle, west Berkshire. Who else have they got Scotland? Yeah, and that's it for the UK contingent, I think. Oh, yeah, there's the people in the airport as well. They were from West Sussex, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah from Lewis.
Speaker 1:So yeah, it's been a very interesting tour of England from Amsterdam. Got a chat into her anyway and she made a comment, didn't she?
Speaker 2:You said something. I can't remember what triggered it. It might have been about the prostitutes, actually, Because we could see a row of the windows from where we were sat at the table and she said something along the lines of but you have your beautiful wife sat here. Not that we were about to jump into bed and won the prostitutes, but it did then give me the opportunity to say, oh, that's okay, we're in an open relationship. And then she started asking questions. And then she started asking questions Actually not too in depth, to be fair. She kind of just went cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but then we did say that we were going to go to we called it a sex club because she said she was going to a sex show and I think she confessed to it and thought we were doing the same thing and not what we actually did Exactly.
Speaker 2:So I think it's quite loud. It's true, it was probably the loudest place we went to, actually, but but it kind of paved the way for the rest of the week weekend, didn't it?
Speaker 1:Very much so. So we did all that. It was raining, we walked. By the way, we'll say it's like a minor background to all this we didn't use, apart from the boat trip we went on on the Friday there was no other form of transport used apart from our feet. We didn't go on bikes, we didn't go on trams. We did get an Uber a couple of times because that was to things that were really too far to walk.
Speaker 2:The airport and aforementioned sex club.
Speaker 1:The FC on some foot. So we walked into the Red Light District, walked around in the rain, walked back in the rain Next day, did some local sightseeing-type stuff, so I won't go into that.
Speaker 2:I mean, we did a good bit of about 10 miles on our feet. You say we did sightseeing stuff. Are you going to go on to the next bit about what we did on that day?
Speaker 1:I was going to. I was going to skip over the morbid part and get into the fun part, okay, so we got up, we went a little up all the way into town. For about a year and a half now I have been thinking about the idea of getting a couple of statoes. I didn't tell Butcher this until around about Christmas time, so it was in my head for nine months and then I told you about nine months ago and then we've been sending each other ideas and I will say, just never landed on a particular idea until about four days ago.
Speaker 2:It's very much like how we named our first child, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So we went to leave in the situation and you go, that feels right. But we went around several different tattoo polars in Amsterdam. This became part of our plan and, as well as trying to find the right place, so to find the right design, the two came together pretty quickly. On the Friday afternoon we booked our tattoo for that evening.
Speaker 2:We did.
Speaker 1:And in the interim we had a coffee and did some more walking and some more just general sightseeing stuff. That was the boat trip.
Speaker 2:That was the boat trip. Drank quite a bit on the boat trip.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and learned a lot about the history of Amsterdam, which was fascinating, and a lot of stuff that I feel like I should have known and didn't know.
Speaker 2:Went for a drink with the two Scottish guys, father and son combo afterwards. That was very good. That was very entertaining.
Speaker 1:And then we went off, got our tattoo done and then we got a shot. But in the process of all this I mean, this is my first ever tattoo, it's your second I went through a very long period of my life being swearing blind I would never get a tattoo and, yeah, the idea, just that sort of like, settled down in my head got it done and I'm very, very happy with the result. It's very low, it's very subtle.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I really, really like it and I keep, because I've spent a long part of my life looking at this part of my body and, there being nothing there, I keep catching it in the corner of my eye and going, oh, and the weirdest thing about all of this trip is that everything that happened felt like it was supposed to happen. It was very largely unplanned. Yes, and yeah, it felt like it was meant to happen. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 2:So right place, right time. Everything just flowed, ebbed and flowed into the next thing. So we booked to get the tattoo done around lunchtime and then we went back at seven o'clock that evening and we get chatting to the girl who is the manager of the shop. She's very alternative, very cool, something that you and I are not, and Not like that. Get chatting to her. It turns out she's from Spain, turns out she's bisexual, turns out she's polyamorous. So you can imagine where this conversation went next. Not quite where people imagine. Yes, fair enough.
Speaker 1:No, but we just started talking about it. It's someone who knows the language, knows the way around. She's like half my age and again, we've talked a bit about the use of the term and what it means and whether and I think of the last episode we're talking about your sister's friends, who are similar sorts of age and is they think of polyamorous and probably more is a way of dating and they don't necessarily attribute it to marriage couples with children, and this is exactly what this person said, wasn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's where the questions come in.
Speaker 1:It's like how does that work? Yeah, Well, here you go.
Speaker 2:The actual phrasing around it was as much as I'm an adult, 22,. I've never met actual adults doing this.
Speaker 1:And she still hasn't.
Speaker 2:But you know that is as in mortgage, as in children, as in all the other crap that we've talked about, that comes along with being, can I say, middle-aged, younger, young to middle-aged married couple.
Speaker 1:I am definitely middle-aged, as much as I'm in denial that it is also true.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You're different. Hello, seriously, someone this holiday thought you're older than me, which I took as a huge moment of joy in my life. I know you didn't, but for me.
Speaker 2:She only got away because she'd just given me a free shot to Keel.
Speaker 1:It worked and I was very tired and you were very tired. I was a bit poorly, but yeah, we had the tattoo, very happy with the results. And then, talking to her on the back of the polychat, it turns out she's also quite a keen artist. Yes.
Speaker 2:And she invited us to her exhibition in town later that night.
Speaker 1:So few hours later go to another bar try out some She-Shift the first time. Which, well you, I've had She-Shift plenty of times.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sorry, my first time. It's all right, it's okay, it's something to do whilst you're having a drink Basically what you're waiting for your new friends' art exhibition to open up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we go to the art exhibition and it's all full of. When I say they're all locals, they're all living Amsterdam. How else do you find their art exhibitions? It's not a touristy thing. So there was some. There was actually genuinely good art. It was not even amateurs. Some of it was really good. There was one guy who was actually English, lives in Amsterdam, travelled the world. Really good photographer, very eccentric, very, and one of the scattiest people I've ever met in terms of his conversational style, but also, you know, had great skill in what he was doing. Very, very interesting. Yeah, a bit weird, but yeah, we're chatting away to these people and you got chatting to. He's not.
Speaker 2:Danish, he's Dutch. No, you keep calling him Danish for some reason. I do.
Speaker 1:Nice young man.
Speaker 2:Young man. Oh, young man. Yes, I did, and explained to him that we were in an open relationship, and he said he'd been with a girl who had been in an open relationship because he travelled and worked around the world quite a lot. In fact, he was just about to embark to another country. He was just stopping by home for another week and he asked us lots of questions how does it work? What does it look like? Well, I think he was sussing out whether it was okay for him and I to connect, which we did on Instagram. He also followed our shared account for the podcast as well, and I'm going to say now you know we passed a couple of messages to him from one another. We would have met up, I think. However, the way that the rest of the weekend panned out, it became far more of a swinging, focused weekend than relationships. Would you say? Well, yes and no.
Speaker 1:Yes, and no. Yes, but you're going to say about someone who passed a comment to you saying oh, this was the same guy.
Speaker 2:Okay, right, what did he say? He said to me how long have you been here? I said 24 hours. He said no, no, no. How long have you lived here? I was like 24 hours. What he said, why are you here? I was like well, the I did all, booked in our tattoo and invited to say I thought you were expats.
Speaker 1:Yes, At that point we realized we had arrived. It was very entertaining just because we had found ourselves in a place that tourists wouldn't want to go. Very entertaining and Insightful, yeah.
Speaker 2:And again, nice to just be open. Yeah, we're open, we're polyamorous, we're.
Speaker 1:It kept popping up in like casual conversations why are you here? But before that. So that was Friday Fairly late night, and Saturday boringly rained again, but it wasn't like a problem because it's still warm, so it wasn't that uncomfortable, but did like four or a bit miles to the local park, run, run, park run. Came back. Then we did the Van Gogh Museum and then we realized we were just a bit knackered because we'd already done Is it 13 miles or so? At that point, yeah, and we're both tired. So we just came back to the Airbnb and chilled because we knew we had plans in the evening. We wanted to be well rested.
Speaker 2:We did stop by the School for Life Cafe and I had the best soup of my life. Yeah, just like to point out. I don't know why I got so excited about soup, but by God did I.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's poly.
Speaker 2:Yes, well, actually the School of Life had a lot of thought-provoking cushions, cushions outside, yes, yeah. So one in particular, I think, said if you had an erotic thought that you could voice, what would it be? Just things like that. It was very I don't know the whole thing, not just that. The whole weekend felt very expansive from a mind perspective.
Speaker 1:And also kind of living in an Instagram influences perfect place of the combination of motivational quotes and beautiful photography and bikes and people from England and open lifestyle. And open lifestyle. Yeah, because of course, the whole sex thing is just far more Accepted.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just it's baked in Obvious, but without being in your face.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but that's what it's baked in, it's part of the environment. It's not oh, you're a bit edgy. It's like, okay, everyone just moves on with their life. It's like, yeah, you're like the 15th person I've met today who's not just doing standard life escalator stuff, relationship escalator stuff, sorry. So that just puts you very comfortably in a world of going like this is fine and I like that a lot. So now we've rested and then we start getting ready to go out, because we're going to Fatah Magana for the evening, which is a sex club, swinger's club, on the outskirts of Amsterdam. It's about a 15 minute taxi slash Uber ride out of town and it was phenomenal.
Speaker 2:It was phenomenal. Hmm, I would say it's the best experience of anything that we have done, just from pure setup through to the people Yep, through to the cleanliness, through to the respectfulness, opening hours, just everything.
Speaker 1:And the free bar and free food in the buffet. I didn't like to say but yeah, it's just, it's just, but again. So some of this is it is a very well-organized venue. Yes, it is also attended to by people who, for the most part, seem to be English, but they are there. They know where the heads are at. They're not very few of them seem to be experimenting or new. Yeah, there's regulars that go. I'm going to say regulars, I don't mean weekly, but you know this is not their first time. People who recognized one another.
Speaker 2:Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1:But the main thing is, when I said a minute ago about the sexual politics of let's not say, the Netherlands, because that's we don't know, but for Amsterdam it's baked in that benefits Fatah Magana, because the people who go not all of them, some of them come from out of town, but all of them go and they've got this safe, organized, respectful, liberalized view of sex and they brought it with them. It wasn't something imposed by Fatah Magana, which is why I don't think and we'll get into more in this in a minute I don't think you can move that place in its organization.
Speaker 1:Move it to Picassette in England, let's just say London, yeah, and you'd have the same experience because, the people who are organizing, the people who are attending it are making some of that, those good decisions based on the country they've spent their entire lives in, and that counts for an awful lot of the good outcomes that you get. Yeah, because it was clean, respectful. Everybody like if you've gone to a KK party, killing Ketens party, they're very good at mandating the rules. Yeah, you will be respectful, you will ask for consent. Sometimes it goes a bit too far. People are like can I do this and can I do this? And here's my 100 point checklist.
Speaker 2:But I get why. Because the culture that we are in unless you're explicit about the rules, people bend them, whereas Amsterdam in particular, but the Dutch more generally speaking, more generally speaking, because they have a level of freedom and a level of acceptance around certain things, to us it felt like it translated into other things. So I think we said we were going to do another sort of full, sort of more in-depth version of this specific part of our story in Amsterdam Sounds like we made it up, but let's go through the sort of basics of one part of it, which is we ended up in a nine person orgy.
Speaker 1:Something we have always wanted to do, and here we are.
Speaker 2:And it was a proper orgy. Proper orgy, it was a full swap orgy, in the sense that it wasn't just soft play Sounds very demeaning, but you know what I mean. Everybody was swapping and enjoying one another in every sort of possible way, and some were on the outskirts of that, some were sort of very much in the middle and everybody just flowed between one another very nicely. Now, the approach that we felt was there was very much. Someone asked can I join in or can I be part of this as a broad term, and then it was with the people involved to say please don't do that particular thing, or I don't like you doing it that way, or can you? It's not. Can I kiss you? It's. Do you mind? Can you sit on my face Whilst I fuck this up about, like it's very Quite specific, quite specific, but very much not a checklist, it's a. I would like you to manoeuvre yourself to this position in order to make this flow more. I don't know, that would just felt very different.
Speaker 1:It did, and I think the thing is is the? So we got, we got God. Who was it? Who was told us? Someone said that the, the Dutch, are very, very straight talking. It's the couple at the start of the night. Yes, it was. Very straight talking and they will just be blunt. It's like I like this, I don't like this, and once you're keyed into that, you could say please sit on my face.
Speaker 1:I would like you to Fine Respectful question. Yeah, and the answer is either they start moving or they'll say I don't want to, and you, that's fine? Yeah, Absolutely there's. No, it's not like I'm not going to be offended by that, but no one else was worried about the risk of offense. I was everyone representing themselves.
Speaker 2:I don't think I've ever had someone mid or G lean over directly and ask can I fuck your husband? And this lady was so very pleasant about it, Don't get me wrong. It was very. You know, can I fuck your husband? Like, and I think my response was popped up and went absolutely. And then you had, and then I did, and then you did, and you had her very, very attractive friend sat on her on your face, on her face, and I looked over from the midst of what I was doing.
Speaker 2:Because you were having sex with her husband, yes, that's yes because she asked him and, yeah, that happened, but because she dassed kind of there, wasn't, it felt very obvious the flow into the next step for him and I yeah, I was more concerned about the friend that they'd brought along because she was the extra person in the nine, if that makes sense. Everybody else was couples.
Speaker 1:And because I'm a considerate person, I wanted to make sure she wasn't the award out.
Speaker 2:No, that worked out well, I hope. Did I Exactly. We very much made her feel included. Yes, we did.
Speaker 1:So how much more do you want to go?
Speaker 2:into, I think, the main other thing that we'll just call out, because we talked about it in the beginning of the podcast about people from Newcastle.
Speaker 1:We assumed everybody was touching that club until yeah, we have skipped a bit everywhere to get back to the start, don't we A little bit, yeah. So when you get in there, you're like a lot of these places, you're fully dressed. And we got in there about half nine and is Manjidjee dressed down from about half 10, 11-ish. Yeah, we did. The obvious thing that we would do is we would have had some food. We were very hungry. We were very hungry, we wanted some energy for later.
Speaker 1:So by the time we finished eating, it was basically time to get dressed down. So we went to the locker skirt dress down and then we thought, well, let's have a little tour of the place. We hadn't actually seen lots of it by this point because we were hungry Sounds so lame when you say it out loud. And then we went up to the playrooms on the middle floor yeah, and the playrooms are Lovely, lovely. And then we have little people on the side, so as people are going through the corridors, they can have a look in. So we no one else is in this room. It's very spacious, very well appointed and we start playing with each other, and then a couple come in and are watching, and then a couple are coming in and it's quite, it's not loud, it's not quiet, but also what?
Speaker 2:They said something. She then told her and asked do you mind if we join you? Yeah, yeah, and After 20 minutes we had a little pause and asked where they would come. Sorry, sorry, asking where they came from. I thought you Thinking that he in particular looked quite Dutch? Yeah.
Speaker 1:Newcastle, he's from Newcastle, he's from Wales. We were like oh right, okay, cool.
Speaker 2:Went downstairs, got talking to another couple and I said to him oh, is this your first time? And I think he said was it their first or second?
Speaker 1:It's their second time.
Speaker 2:No, no, it was their first time. The second couple yes, I said, oh, that's interesting. Oh, do you don't sound like you're from around here? Where are you from?
Speaker 1:Newcastle. So hello to all of you.
Speaker 2:I really come all this way. It's a good job. We found a very attractive Dutch triplet At the start. Threesome, threesome, thrupple no only joking, but it was very, very entertaining. It was.
Speaker 1:And I wonder if we can have all and then complete in the poly bit, because this goes outside that. So that first couple who are from Newcastle and Wales yeah, we, they were put for medium sized orgy.
Speaker 2:I'd like to think of it, yes, and then we sort of details at the end of the night I gave him my number on a post-it note. I asked the bar mate, barmaid. I was like can I have pen and paper?
Speaker 1:No idea. If it's going to work, why do you think they're going to get in touch? And the next day we get up, we are on our way to get coffee and breakfast, I think, weren't we?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you got a message. We did, and eventually coffee and breakfast turned into wine and beers outside the.
Speaker 2:I was at the old church, yeah, yeah, and then Back to the hotel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for round two. For round two. They were lovely and amazing and so intelligent.
Speaker 2:So you know what I really want to call out. You've talked about it before, about how people give you their time. Hmm, you know, as far as they were concerned, we weren't supposed to happen. What say, what happens in the club stays in the club mentality. As far as we were concerned, is that anything that felt good and right? We were there for it. Yeah, and they felt good and right.
Speaker 2:And for me in particular, I very much got out of my own way because he is outside of my usual age demographic. That I feel is acceptable in the butcher's world of control and your book of rules, my book of rules. But he was just so fascinating and she just had such a wonderful outlook and had done a lot of soul searching and a lot of working on what she wanted from life. Yeah, and we aligned on a lot of values between the four of us and when we didn't, it wasn't a friction point, it was just that. Well, this is actually how I see it, and the other people around the table would go okay, interesting, like why, and would question one another rather than just going. Well, that's wrong.
Speaker 2:Well that's not for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and completely defied some of my preconceptions of just how most people act. He is genuinely one of the most interesting people I've met in my life. Yeah, and I'm a little bit gutted and you've got to spend a short amount of time talking to both of them really, but you know, because he's that bit old, he's done a lot of stuff and some of that stuff is weird, Like an outside the range of normal experiences, but he's managed to integrate all that stuff into a really thoughtful and consistent mindset around how the world can work. And it's not like I. So know his default the stoicism, because people understand that or it can be explained to them and they can. There's a lot of material around that. His isn't that. This is his view of the world and it's God. Yeah, I just can we book a flight? I've just spent some more time talking to him. He was fascinating.
Speaker 2:And I think this is where Sapeo sexuality really comes into play for me is that if you are intelligent and engaging and I've said it before you've basically got me.
Speaker 1:Oh there you go folks, if you're intelligent engaging, you can email butcher polypocket podcastcom.
Speaker 2:They were also beautiful, physically beautiful yeah, both of them. Just when you talk about the full package and that sort of wow holiday experience and that, oh my God, did that just happen? Yeah those people actually give us the time of day and you know, there was experience. There's a huge array of experiences that we've had that they've never had.
Speaker 1:Yeah to all learn something.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, it's one of the things he's hard to explain in a brief podcast without getting into like loads of detail, but I'll give a little vignette of this which is talking about bisexualism in men, something I've talked about before, something I have considered, and he said fair play to you for at least thinking about it, like you said, everyone. But rather than just going, that's not for me and that's the end of the conversation, it's like I thought about it and tried to work out of it is me, but he and I he's had the same thing, which is I will, I want to try stuff that's in that area. So, more specifically, pegging and and this is where her, the female partners intelligence comes in is they've been pegging. And then she said well, what if that was a guy? What's the difference if it's a toy or a human being? The sensation is the same, the thought process is inside your head.
Speaker 1:So, therefore, what they had had a very complicated conversation about quite a difficult subject, and he and I had a secondary conversation, which is how do you separate out what you like and what you don't like? And, if you, and what is driving that? Because if it's, if it's raw pleasure or raw displeasure, is that physical or is that psychological? If it's psychological, do you even know where that came from?
Speaker 1:Or did it come from somewhere else. Is it a bias? Is it something you've just grown up with? And we had a whole conversation on that Before anything?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can't remember what stage of the afternoon it was actually, but this is after we spent time in a club having an orgy and then a break.
Speaker 1:Then I'd be as then gone back and this conversation and the sex and the connection all flowed through over the course of less than 24 hours, because it's not like we got into the room and then instantly got banging with it.
Speaker 2:Because we still sat had a drink in the room. They were in a really nice location. We could see out onto the street. It was really sunny at that point and the way that the you know the Dutch buildings are, the windows are big and open and expansive. So we just sat around and chatting for maybe another hour, yeah, and then we had some fun.
Speaker 2:Then we started chatting for another hour, maybe more. It was just gorgeous, just utterly gorgeous, and it just goes back to that time of just yeah, just being totally privileged to be in that experience and in that moment and just living, purely living, living your best life, not even your best life living.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very much so. Also, also, I had a new and very strange life experience, which I'm good. Is that okay if we talk about it? So some of you may be into BDSM or slightly rougher stuff. One of the things I wouldn't even call it breath play is deliberately making someone pass out. There's a few different ways of doing it. This guy's had, for various reasons, a lot of training. He knew he knows exactly what he's doing and he demonstrated on her first and I just found it fascinating. I said can you choke me out? And he did. And there's something I gotta say it's nothing to do with polyamorism, nothing to do with sex, just to do with, like, the eye opening part of my weekend.
Speaker 2:You could make it that way if you wanted to, but this particular moment wasn't.
Speaker 1:This wasn't about sex, but it was. I think, as a guy who is into girls, it's going to be very hard to find a girl who can do that to you, although she can, although apparently she can. She can also put him in hospital with a broken rotator cuff, not because she's big, but when she's apparently very in the moment and sometimes stuff happens. Yeah, it's a bit physical. So, anyway, I had an opportunity to have someone who was very well trained and knew what they were doing and it's like when else am I going to have that happen to me? And if I ever am to do it to someone else, I want to know what they're experiencing, because it makes me safer.
Speaker 1:So once it wasn't sexual at the time, it was. With this thought of this is useful experience, because it may be useful to me at some point in the future.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you have tested around the edges with it, a little bit with me, a little bit with an ex-partner.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So it was interesting to know the actual Correct technique, yeah, the technique and how it actually works. But, and watching her come around was just something very beautiful. Watching you come around was a little bit scary because obviously I don't think you relaxed into it quite the way that she did. But yeah, it was just. I can say this whole experience, just everything seems to have just shifted a little bit out in a good way. There's more room for trust, there's more room for exploration, there's more room for your very early days with your new partner. We had a little bit of a difficult conversation whilst we were away, just before we had our tattoo.
Speaker 2:Actually, yeah, and it was purely a misunderstanding of something that relatively benign, and then it was just like you looked at me and you went well, this is really poor timing, and I went actually, no, it's great timing. I still want to have a tattoo with you. I still want to do this. This has changed nothing for me. We're not always going to see eye to eye and actually this has helped me see something around that relationship a lot clearer, and that's great. I want you to go and enjoy everything. I want to get out of my own way and I finally feel that I can and I feel very similar for similar reasons.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just yeah, great weekend Also. Just final little bow on this we had a relatively early flight on Monday morning to get back, and so we did the thing you shouldn't do just go to the airport and have champagne for breakfast.
Speaker 2:Well, of which I think would have been okay if we didn't get to do it on the way out there due to working up until the 11th hour. And blah, blah, blah and easy jet. I believe that I think everybody understands when you say those two words together Easy jet, yes, anyway, after we left the hotel room I was so sore and tight and broken because I've been harboring this cold a little bit and obviously we'd been very, very active, lots of mileage and lots of stuff, you know whatever.
Speaker 2:And I said to you let's go for one of these sort of we're still not sure whether it was Thai or Tibetan, but anyway, definitely had the word Himalayan in it. Yeah, so we were very much.
Speaker 1:So you had a. You had quite a tight neck as well. Your neck was quite sore. That's one of them.
Speaker 2:Yes, so I said, should we just go and get one of these massages Now? I knew they were painful and I knew they were hardcore. I should have probably pulled that out when he said do you want the sports massage? Because I was like, oh yeah. And he said, oh, we've got enough space for two of you want one as well?
Speaker 1:And I forgot to say by the way, this is going to fucking hurt.
Speaker 2:This is going to absolutely murder you. I mean, there was one point where myself and the woman who was massaging me could hear you through the curtain making probably the more, the most sexual noises you've made all weekend. And then, at that exact point, she's literally slapping and punching me across the back of the head, shut up, butcher, I'm just like stuck in between being sore from days of goodness knows what, in agony, because it's I'm going to use that phrase, goodness knows what.
Speaker 2:Because this woman is just smacking me around and laughing at you making these noises and her laughing at you making these noises. And we got out of there and I just looked at you and I was like I need food and I need to go to bed. I don't know what to do with myself anymore.
Speaker 1:Yeah, after Saturday night, sunday afternoon, massage.
Speaker 2:We were working off three hours sleep as well, we'd got to bed at 5am, woken up at 8am. Obviously we're horny, can go back to the other. So it was all like I just want to be with you, so had sex and it's like right, we're awake, now let's get up, let's walk. And then we got that message and it's like right, let's power on through. And it didn't even feel like powering on through. That's how amazing it was.
Speaker 1:There was no effort in all. That was very natural.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just just what an absolute weekend. And the weirdest thing was right is that we actually had friends and asked them at the same time here. We offered for them to come for a drink, but we miss other people from England, so it's fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah From, sorry the UK. Sorry, make sure I include Wales.
Speaker 2:So it's a shame that we didn't get to see those friends. Yeah, you know so lovely Wrong country Say lovely You're on that now I need to talk to you about my next trip, oh okay, no on that cliffhanger.
Speaker 1:So, yes, thank you for joining us on a little naughty poly sightseeing, drinking, walking, running tour of Amsterdam. Swinging, swinging, definitely swinging. Yeah, but we met lots of poly people on the way and or open to poly people.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And had lots of and just lots of very interesting conversations and I just think that the again I want to just say this is I'm saying for my own benefit the reason I want to do I personally want to do this podcast is I want the UK to get to a point where we are less sexually constipated as a country we can be. I would love to have the Dutch's attitude towards society, culture and sex, yeah, in this country and it like say, normalizing it is part of that and that's what this podcast is, because you can be adults and spouses and parents and be poly.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And how do you do that? You just do it Right on that note.
Speaker 2:Keep us, your tour guide of Amsterdam and your protection in your pocket.
Speaker 1:So long Newcastle. Yeah, I want them to hear me speak and give us a Tour Guide. Look if they can Thank you. Thank you for watching. Check out my new podcast.