Visit saprea.org to learn more about hope and healing from child sexual abuse
Visit Defend Innocence for resources on child sexual abuse prevention
Buy makeup, skin care and collagen here and help survivors of child sexual abuse
Connect with Ciera on Instagram @confidentlybeautifulpodcast
Visit saprea.org to learn more about hope and healing from child sexual abuse
Visit Defend Innocence for resources on child sexual abuse prevention
Buy makeup, skin care and collagen here and help survivors of child sexual abuse
Connect with Ciera on Instagram @confidentlybeautifulpodcast
You are listening to Confidently Beautiful with Sierra, a podcast to help you stay confidently beautiful, because we all have confidence inside us. We just need to bring it out and I'm here to show you how Body image, dreams, parenting style, personality and more Here we cover it all. Get ready to stay confidently beautiful. Hello and welcome to our final episode of the Confident Birth series. This has been really fun to do and it's brought back so many memories and it's been fun. It was really fun to talk to Amy and hear about her birth stories and all of the things, so I hope that you enjoyed this series and that it was fun to hear. I know, for me, i love hearing about birth stories. I am going to finish off our series with my last birth story, which is my natural birth story, and this one is one that's like super, super special to me.
Speaker 1:I prepared way more for this delivery than I did any of my others and it was my first natural birth and it was an experience that I will always remember and I remember just being so proud of myself that I actually did this and I survived and did it. I started taking a birth class. I was maybe like 20 weeks when we started taking a birth class. We started taking a Bradley Method birth class and I absolutely loved our teacher. She is a doula here in the southern Utah area and she is awesome. So we went once a week for I don't know maybe two hours and we would take this birth class. I think it was an eight week class and we learned so much. It was so fascinating. There were so many things about just the process of labor that I wish I had known, even if I hadn't been doing a natural birth, but just to understand everything that goes on with labor and all the things that happen. So if you have never taken a birth class, i highly recommend it. The Bradley Method was really great because it really, i think, helped Seth to feel more involved in the process and understanding more of what my body was going through and what he could do to help me.
Speaker 1:So I started having Brexton Hicks with this pregnancy at about 20 weeks, which was really unusual for me. I was not used to cramping and having Brexton Hicks that early. I started really like cramping about two weeks before delivering Levi and I knew I was going to be going natural and so I really didn't do much. I just kind of let my body do what it needed to do. I didn't want to be induced and so I didn't want to like try and force my body to have him. So I was cramping for about two weeks and then on a Friday I really started to cramp and I just every time it was happening for that whole two weeks I was like maybe it will be today, maybe it will be today. I also have always gone over, with the exception of my second with Grayson. I was 39 weeks, six days, but I was induced and so I think I would have gone over, and so I was expecting to go over the 40 weeks with this pregnancy, because that's just what my body seems to naturally want to do.
Speaker 1:At this point. I was before 40 weeks and I was just trying to. It was like the hardest thing to mentally just tell yourself, just be calm and just let your body do things. But you get so anxious when you start to cramp and it's a mind trip and you're like maybe tonight will be the night. But I really started to cramp. On a Friday I went to the chiropractor and he was kind of telling me like, oh yeah, i think you're probably close, but I wasn't having like real contractions, he was just crampy, it was just uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:We went on a date that night and after dinner which seems to always be then I started to cramp even more and I started to get actual contractions. I could feel like my body contracting. So I was thinking, okay, maybe tonight. I remember being in the Dairy Queen drive-through after we had dinner and like just being so uncomfortable and I was like, okay, maybe tonight. But then of course we got home and I got into bed and they died down So I didn't happen that night.
Speaker 1:Saturday, same thing I was just kind of crampy again, but not super heavy contractions. And then on Sunday morning I woke up at 5am to the loudest, weirdest gush of water. I had never experienced my water breaking, except for in the hospital. They broke my water in the hospital, but I had never had my water break on its own, and so that was the craziest experience And I was a little bit crampy afterwards, but I wasn't contracting Like I could tell my body wasn't contracting. I was just kind of like, ugh, i just don't feel great.
Speaker 1:And so that was kind of hard, because I had always imagined that I would go into labor for like a significant amount of time, then my water would break, then we'd go to the hospital and you know, and so like I had built up this story in my head of how I thought that labor was gonna go. So when it didn't happen that way and I had my water break first and then I wasn't even contracting afterwards, i kind of had to regroup my brain a little bit and just like, okay, like this is how it's gonna happen and that's okay. And I have learned in my birth class that it's perfectly fine for your water to break hours before anything happens. It's perfectly safe and it's fine. But I had also heard, you know, that a lot of people say when your water breaks, then your contractions start to get a lot more painful and a lot more intense. So then I had that like anticipation.
Speaker 1:So my biggest thing with natural birth, even at this point, when I hadn't really been experiencing contractions too much, it is such a mind thing, it is so mental and it is a lot of. You just have to have taken the time to have gone to a class and learned about the body and how the body will work through the entire labor process, because that's really the thing that helped me the most was my mental state and my knowledge of birth and trusting my body. So I this was at five am when all this happened I went and just kind of laid down and afterwards and I called my mom and just told her, like don't come. But just so you know, my water did break, so I don't know how fast my body's gonna go, but I kept losing more and more fluid but I just still wasn't contracting. So at eight 30, so about three and a half hours later, i called my doctor and I just asked him like how long can I stay at home? I don't wanna have to go to the hospital, because I was worried that if I went to the hospital they would try and push pitocin And I didn't wanna really labor the very first part of my labor in the hospital And I knew I didn't want pitocin and in fact I knew I didn't even really want an IV, if they would allow me to. So he, my doctor, is awesome. He was like oh, i'm comfortable with you staying home for six to eight hours after the water broke.
Speaker 1:After your water broke, which would be like 11 am to 1 pm, so around nine 30, then I decided I'm gonna put a pillow in between my legs, kind of like a peanut ball, because that has always worked for me in the past with helping to bring my babies down. And as soon as I did that, i started contracting and I could feel that he was trying to work his way down and I could feel all the things happening. So I knew that I would hit a point for my personality I think the people who can birth and labor around their kids are like extra special people because I knew that I would hit a point where I would need my kids gone and I would not be able to focus And maybe that makes me a terrible mom, terrible mom. But I just knew that I needed to be just nobody touching me, nobody talking to me, no external noise. And so at about 11, 15, when my contraction started getting more consistently close together, they were still anywhere from like two to five minutes apart, but they were getting more and more consistently like two to three minutes apart, and so I knew I should probably call my mom and have her come get the kids. So she came and she got the kids, and it was right. As I was getting in the bath I heard her come and get the kids.
Speaker 1:It was so cute because we have the cutest video of Whitley in our backyard. They were playing in the backyard and Seth went out. I hadn't really told them what was going on. They knew that I had been uncomfortable for like the past two weeks and that they knew that the baby was close to coming, but I hadn't really told them that morning like what was going on. And so Seth went out and they're playing in the backyard and it was right after we had called my mom and he tells them like mom's gonna have the baby today And Whitley is so excited, she like screams and she's like what. It was adorable and I'm so happy that our security camera caught that on footage because it's the best video ever And it makes me so happy, especially because I wasn't there when he told them that I was gonna be having the baby. And so my mom came, she got the kids. I was in the bath for a little bit. I knew that was going to slow my contractions a little bit, but I was kind of at that point where it's like I need a little bit of relief.
Speaker 1:At noon, just shortly after they left, i decided let's just go to the hospital, and I knew that they were gonna have to do their admittance process to admit us to the hospital. I was like, let's just go and just get there and just get situated. I was planning on and hoping for a room with a tub. I had not applied for the birth suite. I don't really know why I didn't, but looking back now I'm like, oh, i wish I would have just applied for the birth suite, because the birth suite here at my hospital has a queen size bed, it has a tub, it has all the things. And then there's some other rooms that just have tubs but then a normal hospital bed And I was hoping that I would be able to get one of those, but they're just like first come, first serve. So we got there and unfortunately the rooms were being used with the tubs, so I was not going to have a tub, which was a little bit disappointing. But they were still able to get me a wireless monitor, which was awesome, because I didn't want to have a bunch of cords that I was attached to and having to be attached to all that. So this is where the story gets real fun.
Speaker 1:I had mentioned to the nurse who was admitting me that I was going natural. And her response still to this day. I cannot believe that she said what she said. But she said, oh, you're one of those moms. Well, third baby, we'll see. You can probably do it. And I was like I was in such shock that she responded that way. I knew that, like, some nurses are totally like yes, do whatever you want, and I know some that are like no, like why are you doing this? like just getting epidural. Clearly she was one of those because she was not very nice about it. I maybe would have said more had I not been focusing so much on my breathing and all of that. But, um, yeah, i was not happy that she said that Part of me was like I'm going to prove you wrong. but then the other part of me, it gets to you mentally when you're in, when you're like doing that much mental work to try and like tuck your body through everything, and so part of me was like crap, am I going to be able to do this? and so it was a really not a fun moment, and I was really glad that she was only in the room for the delivery and that she wasn't in the room for the rest of the time. Funny story though when she came back in later, like when I'm about to push, then she's like and it had been pretty quick in a decent amount of time she was like, oh, you're a rock star. I was like, yeah, i am. I wanted to say that to her and but I didn't, um, and so I uh anyway.
Speaker 1:So we got through all of the triage stuff and we got into our room and then I got the nurse that I really really loved. She was actually the same nurse if you go back to my very first birth story. She was the same nurse that helped me with Whitley and she is awesome. And so we got back there. She kind of asked me about my birth plan. I told her I did not want to be asked about my pain level. I would tell them if I changed my mind and wanted an epidural. Um, and she was really great. She got me all situated. I told her I did not want an IV. I was not group B strip positive. I really didn't want an IV and she, fortunately, was like really good with that. The other nurse who came in, she was not so good with that, but the nurse that I liked, she was like nope, it's okay, she doesn't need one, like she said that she'll get one if we get to the point that we need to give her one. But so I was so glad for that, because I hate IVs and I hate that feeling of being uncomfortable having that and we were able to get all situated.
Speaker 1:It was about 1245 uh when we got all situated, so about 45 minutes, and I was at a four uh, which is not like I mean that wasn't like super far along as far as dilation goes. But for my body I knew I go from a zero to a ten in like two seconds and so, um, i very, very rarely will be over like a one or two up until I go into labor and then I will start to dilate more. So I labored until about two o'clock so just what is that? Just a little over an hour and then I got like the biggest urge to push and I waited for like five minutes. And looking back now I think this is when I was in transition and I waited for like five minutes and it just kept getting more and more intense and so I asked Seth if he could get the nurse and for some reason a new nurse came in.
Speaker 1:I didn't really know what, like why she was in there and why I didn't have the nurse that I liked. But she was not the best nurse for this, i don't know. She acted as if she was very new and inexperienced and maybe she was, but she, i was on the toilet because I had to go to the bathroom and she came in and was freaking out because I was on the toilet and she was like well, you can't have the baby on the toilet and Seth's like well, yeah, she doesn't want to have the baby on the toilet and she's like you need to get in the bed right now. And so she's like bossing me around and I was like okay, and I was really irritated. So I just very slowly made my way over to the bed because I was like don't talk to me like that and like obviously don't want my baby on the toilet. I just had to go to the bathroom and so she was.
Speaker 1:I was irritated with her, but she tried to check me and couldn't check me and because I have a little bit of a tilted, my cervix is kind of tilted back and so she had to go get the nurse that I actually liked and ask her to come and check me, and at this point I wished that I had known that they had switched, and I think what happened is another I heard them talking and I think another mom didn't like the nurse that I didn't like and she had asked for a different nurse. So then I got the one that I didn't like and I wanted the one that I liked. So I wished that I had understood a little bit more of what was happening, and I think Seth and I were just both so confused, like what is going on, and and my body was going so fast too that I like didn't have time to process everything that was going on and everything that was going on with my body. But anyways, the nurse that I liked came back. She checked me and she's like you're almost complete. And then this is the part that I love and she's like let's put you on the toilet. And I was like, yeah, nurse, that I don't, like I'm gonna get back on the toilet, and um, so she put me back on the toilet and I loved that, and she got some more water and was putting it down my back and she was amazing. I wish I could have had her the whole time.
Speaker 1:Seth was amazing during this part. This was the most painful part of the entire labor for me and he was just so good. He stayed calm the entire time, which me as somebody supporting somebody doing a natural birth I think I don't know that would be a really hard thing to do. I I helped my sister just like a month before I went into labor and but she had an epidural. But even that I was like it is so hard to be the support person. So perhaps to all you support people because it was it was hard when I when I mean it was the most incredible experience I had never actually seen a baby be born besides my own, and so it was really an incredible experience and to be able to do that so close to me, having this baby was really awesome. But Seth was great. He stays calm the entire time and he's just really level-headed the whole time, which for me I really appreciate and I really need um.
Speaker 1:But anyways, after I had um been on the toilet for a little bit, i could feel my body was doing like the natural little pushes. If you've ever given birth naturally, i never experienced the sensation with an epidural, because you can't feel anything, but you feel like your body is just doing like little natural pushes, like small pushes, and it's not like a big push, like when you're pushing the baby out, but it's just. And so I was resisting it because I had the other crazy nurse who was like, don't get birth on the toilet, and I was like, yeah, i don't want to. But the, the nurse that I like, fortunately was still in the room and she's like that's okay, like you can do that, and she's like, just let your body do that, because that's just how your body is gonna thin out. And so I let my body do like those little pushes and then, um, unfortunately she had to leave, probably to go back to the other mom.
Speaker 1:My doctor wasn't there yet and I was going really, really fast because, like I said, i go from like no dilation to a 10 so fast. The on-call doctor came in and he just introduced himself and he was a really, really tall doctor, and so the nurses are like we're gonna need to put you on your back, which I did not want to be on my back. I wanted to be able to deliver it any way. I wanted preferably my hands and knees, because that's what I had talked to my doctor about because of the way my body is. We just thought that would be the easiest way to get the baby out safely and quickly. Um so, but I did get on my back so that they could check me and then I just kind of ended up staying there and I, looking back, i'm like I wish I would have been like no, i'm gonna wait for my doctor and get back on my hands and knees like I was, because that was the most comfortable for my body. But it's so much easier to say stuff like that after the fact.
Speaker 1:But I was just laying there I don't know how exactly how long it was before he got there, but it probably wasn't very long. But I just remember, just closing my eyes, the nurses were being so loud, they were being so loud and Seth at one point gave one of them And it was actually the one that I did not like the the very first nurse that I did not like, and she was like, and he kind of like looked at her and she went and shut the door and she was like I'm sorry, we sometimes get a little bit loud, and so that was nice, but that was like one complaint. It was like I'm like doing very important stuff And this is like the most exciting experience. And you guys are talking about dumb stuff. So I just, um, that was a little irritating, but I kept my eyes closed and just waited for my doctor instantly. When I heard him come in and he said, hi, sierra, like I just felt my body have so much relief. I just trust him so much. He had delivered my other babies And so just having him there, i was so nervous that I was going to have to deliver with the other doctor and I did not want to do that.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to have my doctor, who I knew, interested. Um, i ended up pushing for about 25 minutes because my pelvis is tilted and I was still on my back. Then it was a little bit hard to get my baby up and over, um, but, um, up and over my pelvic bone. But again, um, that's why I didn't want to be on my back, but that's okay, that's how. That's how it was And it was just at that point. It was easier to for me to just stay there And um, so I tore a little bit and it was a weird feeling because I did, because I was totally natural.
Speaker 1:I did feel the tearing, but it really didn't hurt, which was kind of crazy, cause that was the part I actually was the most nervous for, cause I've torn with all of my deliveries and um, but it it really didn't hurt. Like there was the transition period of me in the bathroom with I was the most painful experience of the entire labor, um, and but I just remember this feeling when I I it was the coolest feeling when you can, when you're more, when you're natural and you don't have an epidural, you can actually feel everything and just that feeling of like when you feel the baby pop and like you know that you've gotten baby all the way out. It was the coolest feeling And I just remember. I mean, you have all of the endorphins on all the things and they put the baby on your chest and it's the best thing in the world. But I remember also having this feeling of being so proud of myself, like I did it, like I did what my body was designed to do and I was able to do it naturally, like I wanted to. Um, i it was. It was the most awesome experience. Um, i hate. He was eight pounds. He was my biggest baby, so my natural birth my biggest baby. Looking back, it was I would totally do it again. It was the most. It was a really really cool labor experience.
Speaker 1:All three of my labor experiences have been so different and I'm really grateful for each of them and that I've been able to experience them all in different ways. Um, they were. Willys was definitely the most. Um, my first one was the most unpredictable because I was not as prepared for that one as I wish that I would have been. This one I was the most prepared for, but I also, i think, helped that it was my third delivery and so I was a lot more experienced. Um, but I had also put in a lot of time to prepare and understand how birth works. Uh, but they were all three such incredible experiences. Um, with him was just, i just thought, overwhelming feeling of like I did it, like and he's here and I like I loved the experience of. It was really interesting to have it a really alert baby, because my other two had I had had upper girls and they were just more sleepy and um, he was just so awake, he was so wide awake and it was just the coolest experience I think. No matter how you give birth, it's a wonderful, awesome, beautiful experience. I will treasure all of my experiences, but, um, there is something about a natural birth that is just so cool. So that is my natural birth story.
Speaker 1:If I were to go back and be more confident in some areas, like I've kind of said, as I said the story I wish that I would have been like a little bit more brave to speak up and say when things were bothering me It's really hard to say because it's so easy for you to say that after the fact, when you're not feeling all the things you're feeling I, at least mentally, could tell myself I anticipated this happening. I anticipated nurses not being super supportive, and so that helped in some sense that I could be like I knew that this was going to happen. I have the confusion with my nurses changing. That really irritated me, um, but I was grateful for the time that the nurse that I did like was able to be in the room and how helpful she was, and I wish that I would have Seth and I would have been not so confused on what was happening If they they handled it in a very weird way that it was a little bit confusing.
Speaker 1:Um, i think that if we had had a doula, a lot of things that were said or maybe even things that were done would not have necessarily happened, because I think doulas provide like a nice barrier between moms and dads and the nurses. So that will be interesting. Um, to compare, if I do this again and I have a doula, it would be interesting to compare the two and see you know if they kind of leave you alone. I think I would have also wish I would have done the birthing suite. It was a bummer that I couldn't have the tub. That was a big bummer. And I think the birthing suite would have been nice because I mean, there are sometimes they only have so many, i think they have two. So there are sometimes that you get there and you've applied for it and you can't get it. But I think if I had been able to have that, that would have been a little bit of a game changer. It would have been a little better.
Speaker 1:But overall, i think when you give birth, regardless of how you do it, just remember to be confident with trusting your body. That was my biggest thing, just trusting your body, being confident that your body knows what to do, and just to hit a point where all modesty goes out the window. And this happens too when you have an epidural, i remember, but especially when you are doing a natural birth. When I was in transition, i was like I don't even care, i will be fully naked, i don't even care, and you just get totally confident with yourself because you just are so focused on what's happening. But those would be my main birthing tips Prepare your mind. It's such a mental thing. Even epidurals are mental, but especially a natural birth And yeah, that is my natural birth story It was so fun This was so fun to go back and relive my birthing experiences.
Speaker 1:So if you haven't relived your birthing experiences, then you should go read your birth stories and relive those moments, because it's been fun to go back and reminisce about all of that. Thank you for listening. This was the end of our confident birth series. I hope you've enjoyed it And we will be back next week with another episode. Stay confidently beautiful. Thanks for listening. Connect with me on Instagram at ConfidentlyBeautiful podcast And share this episode with someone in your life who could use a little reminder of just how amazing they already are. Stay confidently beautiful.