Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment
Your guide to parenting a struggling teen or young-adult, whether they’re home, transitioning home, or presently in treatment.
Parents, say goodbye to exhausting confusion, overwhelm, panic and the unhelpful patterns that keep you and your family stuck. Learn how to develop healthy responses and set healthy boundaries with your teen instead of acting out of fear and anxiety.
Experience the relationship-changing power of focusing on your own behavior instead of futile attempts to control your teen.
Your guides to Parenting Post-wilderness are Beth Hillman, a life coach for parents of struggling teens and mom to a post-wilderness teen, and part-time co-host Seth Gottlieb, a wilderness therapy guide turned teen and young-adult recovery coach. Their unique combination of experience and training yields candid conversations chock full of practical, actionable tips and tools to smooth the challenges both parents and teens experience surrounding treatment.
Every week, you can expect conversations around:
- Parenting a struggling teen or young-adult;
- Setting healthy boundaries with your teen;
- Treatment options for your struggling teen or young adult;
- Bringing your kid home from treatment;
- Parenting skills to support your struggling child;
- Teen substance abuse, drug addiction, gaming addiction, suicidal ideation, or other teen mental health concerns;
- How to end power struggles and instead foster healthy communication with your teen or young-adult;
- And much more.
Listen in to discover how parents like you have learned to influence equanimity in the home and rebuild connections with the teens they love.
Connect with Beth on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or find more information about working with Beth at www.bethhillmancoaching.com.
Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment
185. Learned Helplessness: When Helping Your Struggling Teen Is Actually Hurting Them
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
You step in because you love your child.
You pay for treatment again because you’re scared.
You cover the rent because you don’t want them on the street.
You call to check in because something feels “off.”
You offer solutions because you can’t stand watching them struggle.
Of course you do.
But here’s the hard question:
What if, sometimes, the helping is reinforcing learned helplessness?
What if the message, completely unintentionally, becomes: “You can’t handle this without me.”
Learned helplessness doesn’t develop because parents don’t care. It often develops because you care so deeply that you rush in to protect, soften, fix, or prevent discomfort.
If you’ve ever felt torn between protecting your child and preparing them for real life, this conversation is for you.
Seth and I talk about how learned helplessness can form when tasks are repeatedly taken over, when consequences are softened too quickly, or when rescue becomes the pattern. We explore what it actually looks like to allow your teen or young adult child their discovery process, even when that means sitting in your own discomfort.
Because sometimes the most powerful message you can send your struggling teen is:
“I believe you can handle this.”
In this episode on learned helplessness, we discuss:
- What learned helplessness is and how it quietly develops in your teen or young adult child;
- How loving, generous parenting can unintentionally reinforce helplessness;
- The difference between necessary support and rescue;
- Why sitting with your own anxiety can change everything;
- How to evaluate when to step in, and when to step back;
- The long-term impact of allowing your teen to build capability;
- And more!
Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com
You can support the show by:
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
