Next Level Play Therapy: A Podcast for Play Therapy Excellence

How to Use Sand Tray in Family Play Therapy Sessions?

ā€¢ Cathi Spooner, LCSW, RPT-S

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šŸŒŖļø Family Play Therapy + Sand Tray = Chaos or Connection?


Ever had a family play therapy session turn into a sand-flinging circus? šŸ™ƒ One minute it feels like magic, the next like total mayhem.


The truth isā€”the sand tray can be one of the most powerful tools for family healingā€¦ but only if you know how to guide the process with purpose.


šŸ‘‰ In this weekā€™s episode, Iā€™ll show you how to move from chaos to clarity with 3 practical tips for using sand tray in family play therapy sessions.


āœØ Discover how to set the stage so every family member feels included (without power struggles).
 āœØ Learn prompts that turn random sand play into meaningful connection.
 āœØ Find your framework so the sand tray becomes a healing spaceā€”not a battlefield.

Donā€™t miss this chance to level up your family play therapy gameā€”join me live!

Join my free Facebook Community Play and Expressive Arts Therapy Playground.

Check out my free resources for mental health professionals working with children, adolescents, and families who want to integrate play therapy and expressive arts into their clinical work.

I work with individuals and agencies to develop successful strategies and meet the treatment needs of your child and adolescent clients and their families using play therapy & expressive arts.

Contact me to schedule a free 30-minute video call if you're ready to level up your skills

Cathi Spooner:

Welcome to Next Level Play Therapy. A weekly podcast dedicated to supporting the next generation of child and adolescent therapists to provide exceptional play therapy services. We'll explore all things play therapy. To elevate your work with children and adolescents using the therapeutic powers of play. I'll discuss practical tips and ideas so you can provide a transformative experience for your young clients and make a real difference in their lives. So get ready to take your play therapy skills to the next level and make a lasting impact in the lives of children, adolescents, and families. Hello. Welcome to this week's episode of Next Level Play Therapy, and today's topic is how do you include the TRE in Family Play Therapy sessions? So if you've ever. Used family play therapy and you had this amazingly awesome idea to include the San tray in the process, including a San tray activity, and then it went horribly wrong. Or you think it went horribly wrong. Anyway, um, then stay tuned'cause we are gonna talk about three tips for using. Sant Tray in Family play therapy sessions effectively. So we're gonna talk about, um, like what are some things you need to think about if you're using the Sant tray in family play therapy sessions, what do you need to think about if you're using Family play therapy sessions? And then I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna share some of the. Structure that I use when I'm using San Tray. And then, um, just some things to think about in terms of using the San Tray in the plate therapy process. All righty, so let's get started for today. So welcome everybody. This week's topic is how to use this, how to use Santra in Family Plea Therapy sessions, and I would love to know who's here, who's watching live, or those of you watching the video replay either on. LinkedIn or YouTube, or even on Instagram. So I'm gonna try something fancy schmancy today. I, I, I did this before. I don't do it very often. For those of you that are listening on the podcast, you may wanna pop over to my YouTube channel and watch the video version of this, or I will tell you where to get this fancy little. Graphic. I'm gonna show you, for those of you watching on LinkedIn and YouTube, you'll, you'll see how I can pull it up on my screen. For those of you watching on Instagram, I'll kind of pull over the graphic 'cause you won't be able to see it either. Um, but anyway, so if you're, if you're watching or the video live or. The replay. I just realized I probably didn't finish my sentence'cause I got so excited about the graphic. Um, go ahead and post your name in the comments. Where are you from? What population do you work with? Are you using Santra? Are you using family play therapy sessions? Are you using Sandtray in family play therapy sessions? And how is that going for you? And, uh, if you're using family play therapy sessions, what do you love about that? What do you love about Santra? Go ahead and post those in the comments and let's get started for today. So today's topic is how to use San Tray and family plea therapy sessions. And the first thing I think is really important to think about, especially if you are using. Family play therapy sessions is, um, what's your theore your, what's your theoretical model like? I use attachment and neuroscience as my theoretical model with family systems theory. So I've kind of integrated those together and come up, uh, with the model. Called attachment focused family play therapy. I also have a book called Attachment Focused Family Play Therapy. This one is focused, uh, this is attachment focused family play therapy and intervention for, um, children and adolescents after Trauma. So I talk about my, my model in there, and I do have a. Training coming up, um, in-person training, as well as you can attend virtually if you want. So I'll talk a little bit more about that at the end. I also have a sandre training coming up using a neuroscience and attachment lens. So I'll talk a little bit about that one as well at the end. So if you're interested, stay tuned for those. The first thing you really need to think about is. What is, what is your theoretical model? What is your family play therapy model? Because you wanna be intentional about using family play therapy to get the most benefit out of it. Rather than just kind of on the spot, your client looks at you with their cute little face, with their cute little voice saying to you with such an innocent way, can my mom come in my session or can my dad come in? Or can my friend come in? It's usually a no for friends across the board. No. Um, can my sister come in or my brother come in and then 'cause, 'cause. They've been asking to come in and then maybe you, maybe you have parents come in and it's kind of like doing individual play therapy session while the parent watches. Um. That usually ends up feeling awkward, and then you're kind of second guessing yourself about what the parent is thinking. Parent usually is not sure what their role is or what they're supposed to be doing in there. They might have questions about what you're doing. So I, I don't find that to be particularly useful. Maybe it can be beneficial. I'm sure there have been instances when that's been beneficial, but if you wanna use it to its maximum capacity, that's, it's not been my experience that that is the most effective way of integrating parents and even family members into the plate therapy session because. You don't have a framework guiding you through what you're doing in the sessions and what you're doing in each stage of the play therapy process, because your play therapy model is actually going to dictate who is in those family play therapy sessions. For example, if you're using a Thera Play model, it's just gonna be. One of the parents and the child and you, if you're using filial play therapy, then it's just gonna be the parent, one parent and one child. And you may be observing through a two-way window, or maybe you're in there just kind of being silent witness to the process. And if you're using my model, attachment focused family play therapy, then there's a specific framework that you're using and that's gonna influence how you're deciding who's in the play therapy session. It is also gonna influence how you make sense of what's going on in the play therapy session. So for example, if you're using Adlerian family play therapy. Then it's gonna in, you're gonna, you're gonna, um, make sense of what's happening in the session based on Adler and play therapy. The same would be for Gestalt play therapy. So your play therapy model actually is a really important consideration when you are using family play therapy sessions in order to get the most benefit out of it. So when you're looking at themes and you're making sense of behavior, it's gonna be influenced by those theoretical lenses. So there are some theoretic, there are some themes that are, um, generic across all of the play therapy models. And then how you conceptualize it is gonna be slightly influenced by your theoretical model. So that part is really important, is making sure. You are considering what play therapy modeler you're using for those family play therapy sessions. That includes when you're using Sant Tray because when you're introducing Sant Tray activities into the play therapy session, that's going to influence how you're using the San Tray in the session, who's in the session, and how you're making sense of what's going on in the San Tray. So that's a really important consideration. I talk about that one a lot. So if you've been watching or listening to any of my previous episodes, you probably would've heard me say that nine bazillion times. So the next thing to think about is what's the purpose of the session? So if you are, this is where again, we're using intention. So when you get the ask those questions in the lobby, when you go out there to get your client, when you get asked that question, can my mom come in? Can my dad come in? Can my brother come in? Then you don't have to say yes. Because you wanna think about what the purpose is. So if you're going to be including family members, then think about what it is you're working to accomplish and how adding family members in there will accomplish that that goal. I'm a firm believer in integrating parents as your partner in the play therapy process. I'm a firm believer in getting the whole family system in there because if you wanna see in real time what is actually going on. Then you're gonna have the opportunity to do that if you have family play therapy sessions, because you are gonna be observing firsthand what are those interactions going on. So a lot of times what'll happen is. Maybe you've suggested to parents to read a parenting book, or maybe you've had a parent only session and you've recommended different parenting strategies, and parents look at you and say, oh, I tried those. They didn't work, or That didn't work for my child. And maybe even a child is making progress in your sessions. Maybe you're doing individual sessions. The child seems to be doing well in there, but you're getting those frantic phone calls or frantic texts or emails saying all the things that going that aren't going well. So you're kind of baffled, like puzzle. What is actually going on. The best way to figure that out is to get at least the parent and child in the play therapy session, or I say even the whole family system in there, and then you get a real idea of what's going on. But to do that though, you wanna think about what is the purpose of doing that? What is it that you're working on? Again, your theoretical model is gonna influence that. So for exam. For example, I use an attachment focused family play therapy model that I. I that I created. And so the purpose in my mind, the purpose is using that theoretical lens, is I'm looking at attachment patterns. I'm looking at that serve and return response. I'm looking at those, that intersubjectivity that's going on. Of how are parents and child, how are parents and all of the kids, the siblings, how are they experiences? How are they experiencing those interactions between them in that moment? You're, you're looking at parents' ability to, if I use a circle of security term, how are parents able to lead and follow? Can they read the cues of their child and respond to that need? Are the children queuing accurately or are they miscuing? So what is going on with all of those relationship interaction patterns and. For me, that's the theoretical lens that I am using to make sense of what's going on in the session. I'm also using that lens to figure out what are we working to accomplish in that session. So let's say I'm, I'm, I wanna integrate, uh, tray activity. Because I wanna, I wanna have an opportunity to either do some repair work. I, I want an opportunity to be able to use that as a way for children to communicate what's going on and parents to be able to communicate. So maybe that's for an older child and I have a directive Santare prompt that I want to give them. There's a purpose that I have. In terms of who's in the session using that theoretical lens. And there's a purpose that I'm using, there's a purpose that I'm focused on when I'm choosing those different activities. And so the other thing to think about is Claire play therapy standpoint. I'm gonna roll up my, you probably hear my, my notes here. I'm gonna add my fancy schmancy little. PDF here. So for those of you watching on Instagram, it would be this one. It's the therapeutic powers of play. For those of you listening on the podcast, what I'm doing is I'm showing a graphic that the Association for Play Therapy created, and you can find it on their website. It's called the. Um, the therapeutic powers of play, it's a free PDF that they have on their website, and it talks about the four categories of the, um, therapeutic powers of play. So when you are. When you're considering what activities and what is the purpose, you're also kind of thinking about these therapeutic powers of play because that's what sets play therapy apart from other expressive arts modalities. The therapeutic powers of play are access through a play therapy theoretical model within the context of a strong therapeutic relationship. So if we're using. Family play therapy, and let's say we're using attachment focused family play therapy, I'm going to use that theoretical model to help my client and their parent or family members access these therapeutic powers of play for healing. And lo and behold, what are some of those therapeutic powers of play attachment? Um, maybe direct teaching. So maybe we're working on some skills in the. Play therapy session, or maybe we are working on creative problem solving with the whole family system. Maybe we're working on some conflict resolution. How do you communicate your needs so we can, you can choose play therapy activities that are gonna access certain therapeutic powers of play, but also. Um, the, the goals of your, the theoretical model. So from an attachment focused play, family play therapy model, I, I wanna, I wanna work on improving attachment relationships because I, I use that theoretical lens to set the. Goal of of treatment, which is I know facilitating secure attachment relationships and improving, and this is parts of the family systems, imp improve improving those family relationships. I know that is gonna help to increase a sense of belonging for my client. Increasing a positive sense of self and who I am. Also learning about how are, how are you, how do you do relationship? What are the ways in which I show up in re in relationships, and how do I act in relationships? All of those are going to be things that I'm looking at using a neuroscience and attachment lens. Of attachment focused family play therapy. So that's when I'm using that theoretical lens. Then I'm thinking about the purpose of this session. Okay, so if you've watched any of my previous livestream episodes in the past, you will know that I have a dog. My dog's name is Luna, and in the morning when my husband goes off to work, he lets Luna in my office because if he doesn't let her in my office. Then she will scratch like a maniac at the door, like somebody's after her and that she's like gonna try and claw her way through the door. But what happens is when Luna comes in, she hears me talking about her. Hi Lou. Yes. Luna's an old girl now. She's getting there. Anyway, Luna digs and moans and. Kind of, you may see her walking around in the background, see her little black and white tail moving around the office. Anyway, my dog, Luna is in the office, so if you hear any really weird sounds, that's her in the background and nothing weird is going on in my office. Yep, she's still doing her thing. But anyway, she likes being in here with her mom. And to be honest, I like having her in here except when she's digging like a maniac in the carpet. And I'm trying, I'm trying to do these livestream and podcast episodes sometimes that's not so helpful. Anyways, so that, so those, those are some things to think about. If you think about the purpose and you think about your theory model, it helps you be more intentional and that honestly helps to cut down on some of the awkwardness of. The sessions, some of the feelings of confusion or maybe it has the, uh, it will increase the likelihood that the session will go smoothly and decrease the likelihood that it's gonna feel like utter chaos in there. Not a hundred percent, but it'll help. So then the third thing to think about is, um, oh, let me get rid of my graph on, let me get my, I'm gonna remove the graphic on LinkedIn and YouTube. So the third thing to think about is structuring your family play therapy sessions. Just some tips for that, especially if you're including the sand tray in the. Family play therapy sessions. So, um, you're thinking about being intentional about who's gonna be involved in, that's included in the session. So that's the first thing. Also think about, um, why you're including them in the session, for example, um, what, what's the benefit to the child? So the whole, so here's the thing. Just for some clarity. From a play therapy standpoint, the child is the client. That means though, I think it's important to conceptualize the child within their. Context within context. So if we're thinking about them within context and we're thinking about them developmentally within context, then we really understand the importance of those family relationships. We really understand the importance of the, the, those attachment relationships. And so we're, and when we're thinking about what's gonna help the child to achieve those goals or. Those things that parents want them to achieve, and maybe depending on the age of the child, what the child wants to achieve, then you're thinking about who's gonna be in the session and why they're gonna be there. Which means then you're not gonna, you're gonna have an answer when your client looks at you with their cute little face and using their cute little voice saying, can my mom come in or can my dad come in? You're gonna, you're gonna have a response to that. Um, so the other thing is you, if you decide, yes, you, you, I'm using family play therapy. So then you're, you may decide, well, who's gonna be in there? Is it just gonna be the parent and the child? Are you gonna start off with individual play therapy sessions and then add the parent and then add the whole family session? Uh, whole family system? Are you gonna start with the whole family right from the get go? So these are the things that you're thinking about. It'll be influenced by your play therapy model. And at the, so let's say you've decided, yes, I want to use the sand tray in the play family play therapy session. And you know the reason, you know what you want to accomplish. You have identified how you're going to use the sand tray. Like what? Are you gonna use a prompt? Are you. That's gonna be very directive. Are you gonna do some direct teaching using the sand tray? Are you gonna use some indirect teaching? What are you gonna work on? You've got that settled. So there are typically, these are the rules that I use. You wanna think about these before you, you add families and do this family play therapy session, especially if you're using the S tray. So at the beginning of the session. I go over the rules and the rules that I use are the sand stays in the sand tray. And the rule is, uh, if you didn't put the sand tray miniature in the sandbox, then you can't take it out or move it around without permission from the person who put it in there. So you have to ask first, and that person is allowed to say no. And if that person says no, then you have to honor that and be respectful of that because everybody in the play, the family play therapy session using the San Tray gets to have an opinion and they get to have, um, an opinion about what they're gonna include in there and who gets to move their miniatures around or not move it around. So if you didn't put it in, you can't take it out or move it. Family members are allowed to pick the miniatures that they want to include in the family play therapy session without somebody yelling at them. And if you get offended or you don't like it, you have that right as well. But the other person who put it in there has the right to keep it in there. And then, um. Family mem. Uh, the other thing is family members need to use kind words with each other and they need to use kind behaviors toward each other. So I go over those rules at the beginning. And then here's the final thing for you to think about when you are structuring your family play therapy sessions, especially if you're using the sand tray in there, is prior to even including. Parents or family members in the session you will have, it'll be important to have a conversation with parents in a separate parent only session. Typically, what's their role gonna gonna be in the session? What is your role gonna be in the session, especially when it comes to addressing behavior and meltdowns? So. I, I don't do behavior, uh, limit setting. I, I mean, typically I don't, if the parent can't just, if they just can't get it done, and it's in the beginning of the family play therapy process, meaning we're really in the initial stages, I might kind of step in. Do some structuring in there around enforcing the rules and, but I also, the, the goal is that parents are gonna do that because you want parents to practice some of that, those new ways of limit setting and using the, um, whatever play therapy model you're using. Then you want parents to practice. Those types of skills or interactions in the session. So if you are doing it, you're kind of robbing parents of that opportunity. So, and, and how you do that in the session is gonna be influenced by your plea therapy model. And so the, the other thing is, so you wanna make sure you're having those conversations with parents about that so they know what their. Requirements are. So like when I use my attachment focused family play therapy model, one of the things that I'm doing is we are having regular parent only sessions. So we'll have, we'll have like four family play therapy sessions, and then we'll have a parent only session. Then we'll do like four family play therapy sessions and a parent only session. Because one of the things that we're doing in those parent only sessions is I'm, I'm partnering with parents. I'm building that relationship with them, and also we're working together to figure out what we're doing in the sessions as well as I'm kind of coaching parents how to navigate some of the behaviors. That show up at home, that will probably also show up in your, in your family play therapy sessions. So then I'm also kind of coaching parents how to address those behaviors using some attachment based parenting skills. I'm, I'm coaching them how to do that so they can practice in those family play therapy sessions as well as. At home. So again, this is where your plea therapy model matters. And then the other thing is, especially when you're using the sand tray. As you're thinking about, um, sensory issues, is there anyone in the family that really has significant tactile, sensory or maybe even smell depending on what San miniature, I mean, what sand you're using? Meaning is it really dusty? Um, so you're thinking about those things and if. If there's a family member that gets really distressed by using sand, then you probably don't wanna use the sand tray. If you're including that family member in there, maybe you do something else, um, in the session. So that is it for today to, um, lemme do a quick recap and then I'll talk a little bit about some of the trainings I have coming up. As well as Play Therapy Academy if you have been struggling to use play therapy. I do have some openings. I don't have openings all the time, but I have openings now. So let's just do a quick re recap for today's episode where we are talking about how to use santra in play therapy sessions. And the first thing is you're really thinking about what is your family play therapy model and. And that because that's going to influence what you are doing in those family play therapy sessions and also how you're using the sand tray. Those play therapy sessions, because your model influences what you're doing in the sessions. How are you making sense of what's going on in the sessions through each stage of the change process? And then the second thing is, what's the purpose of that? Session. So what therapeutic powers of play are you accessing? What does your theoretical model focus on? And how can you use the sand tray to accomplish those goals? Uh, which is also gonna include who's gonna be in there, how are you deciding who's in there? And then the third thing is, the third tip is really about structuring family play therapy sessions, especially when you're using the Sant tray. What are the expectations? Make sure you're. Meeting with parents prior to including them in the sessions or a family in the sessions. Make sure you're having a conversation about roles and responsibilities and also when you are using the sand tray, make sure at the beginning of the session when you have the family members in there with your client, make sure to go over the expectations around how. We're gonna be using the Sant tray and what are the rules around that so that everybody's clear. And then also you're thinking about any sensory issues that might mean it, it's not a good idea to use the Sant tray in that session. So that is it for today. Um, if you're interested. I have, um, a sa uh, attachment focused family play therapy training coming up. It's gonna be on Saturday, November 8th. There's a virtual option to attend as well as an in-person option in the beautiful St George, Utah area. So if, if you are looking to get out of the cold in your neck of the woods and you wanna come join us in St. George, then. Um, register soon because registration closes. November 6th, the we're gonna go over the neuroscience and attachment to lay down that theoretical foundation, and that's an important piece of your conse case conceptualization. So you're using that theoretical model of attachment neuroscience with some family systems in there. To conceptualize what is going on in the session and what needs to happen in order for healing to take place. And then we're gonna go over the model. I'll go over roles and responsibility. What's your role? What's parents' role? What are you working to accomplish in each stage of the play, family play therapy process? How do you choose activities? In each stage. And we'll also, um, do some experiential family plate therapy activities as well. If you're interested and you love San Tray and you want to learn more about San Tray, especially if you wanna use a neuroscience and attachment lens to use the sand tray in play therapy. I have an in-person only, and this one's very limited in size. This is a really small group experience. We do tons of San tray making and processing san trays. We go over the neuroscience and attachment theoretical foundation to make sense of what's going on in the sand trays. So we'll get lots and lots and lots of practice for that. I kind of call it my retreat like training because it's, it's very small group with tons of hands on and lots of practice identifying themes. And then the third thing is if you are interested in learning play therapy and you are struggling to. Know what to, how to use play therapy effectively. Maybe your imposter syndrome is off the change, uh, off the chain. You would really like a ton of support. Then I have openings right now in Plate Therapy Academy, which is, I call it like my VIP kind of membership where we meet twice a month. We do case presentations, get some dedicated feedback, learning from each other in, in including. My 30, almost 35 years experience, and I would say one of my superpowers is after all these years, is being able to get to the heart of the matter quickly and teaching people how to use really strong case conceptualization to get a sense to really hone in on what's going on. But I would say the superpower of Play Therapy Academy is that. Um, that group experience with peers and getting not only my, my years of experience, but also the experience of, of the members of Play Therapy Academy. There's some courses in there. Um, there's also a group chat feature to get tons of support. There's some other benefits as well. So if you're interested in any of these, then pop over to my website at rh plea therapy training.com. That's renewing hearts plea therapy training.com. RH play therapy training.com if you're interested in either of the trainings and pop over to the training page. If you're interested in Play Therapy Academy, then pop over to the consultation page and schedule a 30 minute video call with me to make sure. Play Therapy Academy is a good fit for you if it's not a good fit. That's the whole purpose of the phone call and we will have had a chance to connect and say hi, and um, maybe Play Therapy Academy is the right fit for you and it is the right time. That's the purpose of the phone call, so there's no obligation. So just schedule a video call with me and we're also gonna post the links for all of these in the comments. So feel free to look in the links or feel free to message me. Uh, if you have any questions, I'm happy to answer any of those questions, and I will see you next week. Bye for now. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Next Level Play Therapy. I hope you found the discussion valuable and gain new insights and ideas to support your work helping children, adolescents, and families heal. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. Your feedback helps to improve and reach more people who can benefit from this information. Remember, play therapy is a powerful tool for healing and growth. Whether you're a new play therapist or experienced, I encourage you to continue your learning journey to unlock the potential of play in your own work in relationships. If you have any questions or topics, suggestions for future episodes. I'd love to hear from you. Connect with me on social media and visit my website at Renewing Hearts Play Therapy Training to stay updated on upcoming episodes, trainings, and resources. Thank you once again for listening to Next Level Play Therapy. Until next time, keep playing, learning and growing.