5 Signs You’re a Play Therapist Struggling with Clinical Isolation

Do you find yourself replaying play therapy sessions on your drive home, wondering if you made the right clinical decision? You aren't alone.

In this free weekly podcast episode, we’re diving into the 5 signs you’re second-guessing yourself as a play therapist and why clinical isolation might be your biggest hurdle. 

Being the only play therapist in your building can be incredibly lonely. 

When you don't have a peer group who speaks the language of sand trays and metaphors, it’s easy for "reflective thinking" to turn into an "anxious loop."

Today, we walk through the clinical signs of self-doubt and how to shift from isolation to confidence.

What You’ll Learn:

• Sign 1: The difference between healthy reflection and the "anxious loop."
• Sign 2: Why you dread parent phone calls (it’s not why you think!).
• Sign 3: Why Google isn't a substitute for a play therapy community.
• Sign 4: Addressing the "Am I actually helping?" doubt.
• Sign 5: The "Blank Phone List" – identifying your clinical support system.
• How to move from isolation to clinical confidence.

Join the Podcast (or watch the replay)

If you’re tired of carrying the full clinical burden alone, it’s time to find your people.

✨ Join the Play Therapy Elevation CIRCLE Waitlist here: https://www.rhplaytherapytraining.com/f/ptec-waitlist

Connect with Cathi Spooner - Renewing Hearts Training: www.rhplaytherapytraining.com

#PlayTherapy #ChildTherapy #TherapistSelfCare #ClinicalSupervision #MentalHealthProfessionals

Join my free Facebook Community Play and Expressive Arts Therapy Playground.

Check out my free resources for mental health professionals working with children, adolescents, and families who want to integrate play therapy and expressive arts into their clinical work.

I work with individuals and agencies to develop successful strategies and meet the treatment needs of your child and adolescent clients and their families using play therapy & expressive arts.

Contact me to schedule a free 30-minute video call if you're ready to level up your skills

Transcript

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0:02

Welcome to Next Level Play Therapy, a weekly podcast dedicated to supporting the next generation of child and adolescent therapists to provide exceptional play therapy services. We'll explore all things play therapy to elevate your work with children and adolescents using the therapeutic powers of play. I'll discuss practical tips and ideas so you can provide a transformative experience for your young clients and make a real difference in their lives. So get ready to take your play therapy skills to the next level and make a lasting impact in the lives of children, adolescents, and families. Hey there. Welcome to this week's episode of Next Level Play Therapy. And today we are gonna be talking about a subject … This, this'll come up in Play Therapy Academy sometimes, which is my online consultation program. Um, Play Therapy Elevation Circle is a little bit newer, m- another online membership that I have for people who don't really need Elevation Cir- I mean, um, Play Therapy Academy but they m- still want access to support. And this is what w- what I'm talking about today is something that, that we talk about. And also it's not really talked about that much in the broader play therapy community or to be honest I would say … I, no, I'm gonna stick with play therapy community as I think that through in my head. Um, so and that, that is this idea of clinical isolation. And so today we're talking about five signs that you might be struggling with clinical isolation if you're a play therapist. So if any of these hit home, definitely post in the comments, let me know or send me a message. Um, if you're listening on the podcast, definitely send, uh, you c- you could post in the I would love a review. Um, so I was just thinking you could post it in the review or pop over to my Instagram channel @renewingheartstraining, send me a message or post. I always post the podcast episodes on there so post it in the comments. Join the conversation. If you are joining me live on LinkedIn or YouTube or even here on Instagram, feel free to join the conversation. Let me know where you're from, what population are you working with, and if any of these hit home for you So, the, the, I got a little tongue… My, my brain is thinking a little faster than my mouth is working. So, I want you to imagine this. You're driving home, or maybe you're walking to your next play therapy session, and you keep playing the loop over and over in your head about what, what you should have done. Is it working? Are you doing the right, or the right job? Did you make the right clinical decision? The thing is, you are not alone, and that's what we're talking about today. What are five signs that you might be clinically isolated, and it's affecting y- that you're second guessing all of your, maybe not all of them, but a lot of your clinical decisions, especially when you're working with complex clients. Y- the, the hard ones that are challenging, and there's layers and layers of things the child and the family need support working through. And to make that even worse, typically what happens is you're the only play therapist in the building. So if you need support or somebody to think it through with you, the l- a lot of times what I'm hearing is you're probably the only, the only kid therapist in the building, and maybe you're surrounded by adult therapists who are working with adult clients, or maybe they're even working with adolescents, but they're using an adult model. That happens a lot So when you, when you need somebody to do a little reflecting with you, there isn't anybody, or they'll kind of give you advice that really doesn't resonate, or maybe you feel like you have to explain what play therapy is first, and you kinda get a vacant look from the other person staring back at you, or you know that, that they're not getting it. They, they might be trying to support you, and at the same time, because they don't get it, the feedback and the suggestions you're getting you know aren't gonna land. Because it's usually something along the lines of, you know, pull out a game or do an art project to get them to talk. Or, you know, you could do this workbook or this worksheet to do some skill building. And if you're a play therapist, the likelihood that's gonna land with you is pretty slim. I know it didn't land with me, and I heard that plenty of times. So today we're gonna walk through five signs of self-doubt that you might be struggling with, and it's probably more because you're isolated and it's impacting your confidence. All righty, so here we go.

Sign number one: 6:15

you replay your play therapy sessions on the drive home or to the next session. And, um, here's what keeps happening. Your brain goes on this kind of feedback loop over and over. Let me know if this resonates with you, that you're walking s- you know, you know, you're on your way home or you're walking to your next client and you're thinking, uh, 'Did I do that right? Um, was that the right intervention? Did I miss something? Did I track that correctly? Why didn't they engage in the activity or the play therapy session the way it was planned? That didn't turn out the way that I thought it was going to. Did I do something wrong?' And, um, so that And maybe you're thinking, well, did I miss something important? And so because of that, here's the thing, reflection is a good thing. Really good therapists will do some self-reflection. I s- I do it all the time. I do the self-reflection because I want to think about what happened, because not everything goes as planned. In fact, a lot of times it doesn't go as planned, and so that's where that clinical decision-making in your session is really, really important. And s- so I'll, I'll reflect, and I use it as a time to make sure that I'm focused. I'll go back, I'll think about, okay, let me reground myself with my case conceptualization. What's at the root of the problem? What are the patterns sustaining it? What's the treatment pla- um, uh, treatment plan say? Like what are we trying to accomplish basically? What is the play therapy model that I'm using, and what does my play therapy model say I need to be doing? So that self-reflection is a good thing. There's a difference between self-reflection and anxious spiraling, and the likelihood you know the difference when it's happening is pretty high The second sign, sign number two that you are probably isolated and it's contributing to your second-guessing yourself and taking a hit on your confidence, is that you dread those parent phone calls because you're not sure what to tell them. And here's the thing, you h- you have probably, your phone has probably rung or you've gotten a text. You look to see who it is, and before you even pick up or respond to the text, your stomach drops, you get a lump in your throat. You might start feel the anxiety building in your nervous system because you already know what's coming. What's coming is a, a parent who needs your help once again, and you're hearing them say to you, "My child had a meltdown today at, at school," or, "He's been screaming every night this week," or, "The teacher called me. He's failing his classes. Are, is this really even working?" Or here's the kicker. Here, here's the kicker. Or you've heard,"My therapist told me that play therapy doesn't work, and you should focus on behavior management and skill building." Or, "My pediatrician said that play therapy doesn't work, and you need to use behavior management." Raise your hand. Put a clinical, I mean, a, put a, put a… Raise your hand in the comments if that has ever happened to you. Um, and it feels awful. It feels really, really awful. And so here's the thing, you, you do what you've learned to do. You, you keep a straight face, you stay calm, you respond, um, and say, say the right things, and you kinda give them something to hold onto until the next time that you are able to meet with them, and you let them know, "Let's schedule an appointment." Hopefully, that's what you're doing, and you're not doing free therapy by phone or text or email in between your therapy sessions for, um, because it's gonna require a longer conversation with them. That's where the rapport building comes in. That's why you need to meet with them to build rapport and to get their buy-in to, so that it can be more of a partnership. So- You, you do all those things and then you hang up or you, or you stop texting and you put your phone down or you close your email, and then it starts… You start to feel the weight of it, 'cause you're holding it all by yourself. You're feeling that pressure in your chest to fix it fast so you can help your clients, and kind of secretly you think if you can fix it fast, it'll be proof that you're not failing your client. And here's the thing. Here's how I would reframe that. That dread isn't weakness. It's happening when you carry the full clinical weight of this by yourself with zero support. Because the likelihood this is a complex case is very high, and- As play therapists, we're kind of a specialized niche within the mental health community. In graduate school, the likelihood you got a lot of classes or support or had a supervisor, maybe you did, and if you did, that's awesome. I talk to people all the time when they call me and s- we, um, they'll schedule a 30-minute video call with me to see if Play Therapy Academy is a good fit for them. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Sometimes Elevation Circle is a better fit for them. We, we kind of figure that out in that phone call, and what I hear on a regular basis is even now, play therapists don't, don't have supervisors who understand what play therapy is, or they have supervisors or they work in an agency where, um, they, they hire you 'cause you like to work with kids and maybe even your supervisor likes to work with kids but doesn't really have any clinical training in working with kids. And so there's a tendency to use more of an adult model. I see this all the time. Um, and, and for the higher functioning kids with the higher functioning families, the likelihood they'll do okay is pretty good. It's with the more complex cases that it doesn't work out so well. Um, and so what happens is you, you end up carrying this alone. So, so is it really weakness or is it that you don't have anybody to, to think it through with you that gets play therapy, that understands a play therapy model and how to apply it through every stage of play therapy, somebody who knows how to do the clinical decision-making and kind of ground that into identifying what the root of the problem is and how are you gonna navigate these challenging issues and support parents at the same time? When you're carrying that all by yourself, that is a very, very heavy burden. And so if you find yourself going into that spiral, that anxious spiral, or start getting that dread when you are, um, getting those phone calls because they're hard. Parents are scared, they're worried, and they're looking to you for support like they're supposed to. And if you don't have, um, a group of play therapists with you, then it's hard to do that in isolation. So LinkedIn user says, "Good morning. I do CCPT in California and have o- There we go, a little self-promotion there. Okay. Um, not the point of the conversation but okay. Um, so, so if you find y- that's sign number two is that you, you dread those parent phone calls. Sign number three, you've searched for answers online instead of having somebody to call. So I hear this a lot too, so maybe it's like 9:30 at night and you know you have that client the next day or you're meeting with parents, since you're 9:30, you're doing the Google search. And trust me, I like Dr. Go- I ca- I like Dr. Google. You can get some good info on Dr. Google. But here's the thing with Dr. Google or Pinterest or free YouTube videos showing you activities, you really need to be able to ground that in something. The activity of in and of itself is not gonna move the needle, but here's the thing. You have a client who's dysregulating every single week and nothing you've worked has tried. So at this point you're Googling trying to get it figured out, and maybe you do find something useful or maybe you find five different things that all contradict each other and then it's even more confusing. That happens a lot too when I check with Dr. Google. Um, and so you're kinda right back where you started. And here's what that moment really reveals when you're kind of stuck with that and you're not sure what to do and feeling like everything you have tried is failing and you are at a loss as to what to do. Those are moments, especial- especially after a really hard play therapy session where you, um, kind of feel like you're isolated and alone, and you're a play therapist who's worked with, with hard kids, and so who do you go to for support? Here, who do you go to that c- you can say, "Hey, here's what happened in this play therapy session," or, "Here's what happened with this parent. Here's what I've tried. Nothing's working. I don't know what to do." And now you have somebody else who might have, if you have your play therapy community, there, they, there's probably somebody in your community that can say, "Yeah, I had that happen to me," or, "Hey, I…" And this is, "I use this type of intervention or this strategy when that happens," or, "Here's, when that happens, here's what I found is usually the case." Like in Play Therapy Academy, when we're staffing these cases, one of the things that we'll do is we, every time if, if for anybody who's staffing a case, we go through that, that clinical case conceptualization using your play therapy model and figure out what are your goals for treatment. Like, what are, what does the client want to accomplish? And then we'll think about your play therapy model, where you are in the play therapy process, and what needs to happen, because we're identifying what's at the core root of the problem. And in Play Therapy Academy, it's not only my 30-plus years, almost 35, but it's the collective wisdom of the other group members in there bringing their insights. And I can tell you what we can accomplish in that play therapy community, we can accomplish in 45 minutes get, like, what probably would've taken weeks to figure out, or hours even, at the very least, trying to figure that out on your own after a lot of exhaustion, a lot of, um, time spent Googling, or time spent reading books, or time spent just ruminating in your anxious spiral trying to figure it out, looking on Pinterest and YouTube and checking with Dr. Google to see what is gonna work. we can accomplish in a much shorter time, give support along the way, which also boosts confidence and then reduces that second-guessing yourself because now you even have consent- contingency planning because we've used that community process to think through different ways of looking at the situation, and people have given different ideas of things that they've tried and how that worked for them, or sometimes didn't work, and we kinda learn from that as well. And so it's not about, in my mind, it's not about trying to figure it out by yourself. It's about having people to walk alongside you that you can, um consult with, think with, get feedback, ideas, and sometimes just support. Sometimes you have a, a phone call with a parent or a parent session that leaves you thinking, "I must be the worst play therapist on the planet," 'cause parents are not happy with you.'Cause they're upset. Things are hard. It makes sense. And y- if, if you don't have others around you who get it, you don't have anybody to challenge that, that no, you're not a terrible therapist. He- let's look at what happened and come up with a way to help this to improve. So that's sign number three. Sign number four kind of goes along with what we've been talking about. What I just said is you've g- sign number four is you've quietly wondered if you're actually helping clients or just spending time with them. I remember this came up in Play Therapy Academy once. One of the therapists said,"How do I know if it's the difference between," she called it daycare play and actual therapeutic play therapy, 'cause sometimes it feels that way. Like, how do I know if this is actually working and it's even making a difference? Um, and I, I think this one's the hardest to admit, and I want you to know if this resonates with you, then you're not alone, and you're not a bad therapist. So let me say that again. If anything of what we've talked about so far is resonating with you, then it's not a sign that you're a terrible therapist. It's a sign that you're isolated, most likely, um, and that you're not alone because other people have experienced this. We-- I, uh, that is-- I would say that is one of the things I absolutely love about our consultation meetings in Elevation Circle when we do them in Elevation Circle, and one of the things that I love about Play Therapy Academy is realizing the things you're afraid to say out loud because you think others will finally figure out that you're a terrible therapist. Um- That you're not alone, and that other people have had the same experience, and other people have worried about that. When you have a community of play therapists where you can feel safe to talk about these things, then, then you realize you're not alone, and it's not a sign that you're a terrible play therapist or that you're doing, doing everything wrong. So th- there, there are times, even now, there are times after a hard session, um, or maybe something has been happening, maybe the, a client is doing the same thing week after week, maybe three or four weeks or even five weeks sometimes, and it looks like nothing is changing, and you start second-guessing yourself,"Am I missing something?" I find for people that use child-centered play therapy, when they see… Especially, this, this comes up with other play therapy models as well. W- I, the, the reason I'm mentioning child-centered play therapy, um, and those of you who are s- child-centered play therapists, this, this is probably gonna resonate with you. Um, that s- the child will be doing the same thing, what looks like the same thing maybe five weeks in a row, and you start thinking,"Oh, nothing's changing. I should start directing the play. I should start doing a directive activity, because I wanna make sure that they're getting help." But if you're using your play therapy model, in this case it would be child-centered play therapy, and you're, you have help even looking at, well, what are the themes in the session, and you have somebody who might even be able to help you look at what's going on to help you see, oh, wait, there, there are some subtle shifts that are going on. Or we talk about what's going on in the child's life. Maybe they're in a high-conflict family situation, and they're in the h- in the, like, the heat of a, of a court custody feud, and the child is kind of caught in the middle of it, and they're kind of using those play therapy sessions as their life raft. Does that mean it's not working? No. It means there are things going on in the child's community that are That are overwhelming for them and they're using that play therapy process to either install some internal resources, right? Do that internal, um, resource building or maybe they're, they're using it to try and figure out what is going on, make sense of things or f- f- or, or any number of things. When you're just the o- not just, but when you're the only play therapist and you don't have any support, then you don't have anybody to help you figure that out, so you're gonna start wondering. And here's my experience from doing this for decades and also doing consultation for decades. The likelihood you are gonna second-guess yourself at some point in time multiple times over the course of your career is very high. And the second-guessing isn't, you know, it's, it reflecting on what's going on isn't the bad thing. But what happens is because you don't have anybody to think it through with that understands play therapy, then it makes it harder to challenge any of your own mistaken beliefs or faulty thinking about the process. You don't have anybody to give you feedback that you're not a ba- you know, they've, you've talked it through with them and it, and it's, it's not an uncommon issue. It's not a, a sign that you're a terrible therapist. It's a sign that it's a very complex client and you need more heads than just yours to help you sort it through. And so what I find happens in Play Therapy Academy is you realize, oh, I'm not, I'm not a bad play therapist. Other people have had this and, and they've handled it these kinds of ways and it's gotten better. Um, and that, that doubt isn't a reflection of your ability, it's a reflection that you're isolated All right, sign number five. You can't think of a single person you could call right now who would truly understand. So if… Think about it. Right now, if you had a really, really challenging case, and you had a session coming up maybe that afternoon, and nothing's been working, or you know you have to have a conversation with a parent, and you know that parent can be a little challenging because they have multiple generations of attachment, and trauma, and poverty, and addiction that they're… That, you know, got, got into their way of being, so to speak, if we look at this from a s- an attachment standpoint, and they're, they're bringing their child. They're trying to get it sorted out, and then the… It's complex. There, there are a lot of factors involved. So… And this one's really been weighing on you because of what's been going on, and it's a child you're genuinely worried about. Who would you call? You don't have to post that in the comments, but this would be a question for you to ask in your head. Who would you call? Where would you go? And I'm not talking about a general therapist who's gonna kind of make you feel better or let you vent, um, or, uh, you know, oper- offer you some empathy. I'm talking about who could you call that would be able to understand your theoretical model that you're using and the clinical issues that are involved and help you figure out what's going on that they might be stuck- And help you figure out what to do next. Somebody who actually gets it, who speaks your language of play therapy and play therapy model, and has worked with similar types of cases so they understand the clinical complexities involved. Who would you call? And if you have at least one person on there, that's great, but what if that person's not available? Do you have anybody else that's available besides that one person? If not, then it's probably a sign that you're isolated, and you could- can use more support, because you're doing very complex work and doing that alone, and that's not really sustainable for you or your clients. That- that's kinda what leads us to burnout, to be honest. So if you have resonated with any of these five, and let me kinda go through them, do a little recap. Excuse me. you replay the sessions over and over on your drive home or a walk to the next client, and not in a good way.

Sign number two: 31:57

you are dreading that parent phone call because you are not sure what to tell them.

Sign number three: 32:06

you've searched for answers online instead of actually having somebody to call or somewhere to go to get some support in real time. Sign number five… Uh, sign number four: you've quietly wondered if you're actually helping your clients or are y- are you just playing with them.

And sign number five: 32:31

you can't think of a single person, or maybe you only have one person you could call right now if you had a challenging situation, who truly understands play therapy, understands your play therapy model, and understands the clinical issues that are, that are involved. And here's, here's the thing. In the mental health community, working with children is a specialized area, and most play therapists are the only kid therapist in their, in their agency or in their private practice. Most, most graduate school programs don't teach play therapy. I think that's starting to change. There's more and more, but you only, you may only get one class, which is better than nothing. Trust me on that one. It's better than when I was going to school and there was nothing. Um, and we didn't have the internet back then. Um, well, there was probably internet, but we-- it wasn't accessible. We didn't have internet in our home. Um, and then you, so you, you, you graduate, you get your first job, and you're in an agency that, that hired you, or maybe you're in private practice and you like working with kids, and you're excited to help kids, but there's really not much support available. I hear these stories even now. I'm the only kid therapist in my agency. My two supervisors, who are awesome, don't know how to work with kids, so they, they tell me their kids, "You'll do a great job. Pull out a game or a toy and get them to talk." That's, that is still feedback that is going on now. And it, it leaves you very limited and with very little access to support. So here's the other thing about that. Therapy is a relational Experience. Um, we develop rapport with our clients relationally within the context of the theoretical model, and we develop with parents, a relationship with parents. We want that strong therapeutic rapport using our play therapy model. But here's the thing, we're relational beings, and as play therapists, we don't have support available a lot of the time. And so you end up kind of figuring out on your own and second-guessing yourself, which leads to a lot of self-doubt, and I would even say emotional overwhelm, and it can feel pretty exhausting, where you may start second-guessing whether you're in the right field. And that's a shame, because I can't tell you how many people th-this happens a lot. So I've been doing Play Therapy Academy for about five years now. Elevation Circle is newer. And, uh, what I-- the reason I started Elevation Circle is because there were a lot of people who weren't ready for Play Therapy Academy, or they didn't need Play Therapy Academy, but they were isolated and wanted access to some strong clinical support with a commu-community of play therapists who understand play therapy. And, um, one of the things that I find over and over, and this kind of breaks my heart, but, but then it ends up being good because somebody will come in, they'll s- be doubting themselves, they must not be a very good therapist, and they're really good. They, they have strong clinical insights, lots of clinical integrity, really strong clinical decision-making. But the problem is they've been isolated, and they didn't have anybody to tell them, "No, you're really good at this. We all struggle with that. I had that problem, too. Here's what happened. Um, and you're right, that wasn't okay. That was a that was a horrible thing for that other therapist to tell the y- the parent of your client that play therapy doesn't work." Um, these are real stories I hear. So anyway, so if you found yourself saying yes to any of these five signs, then what I want you to know is you are not alone. And it's probably because you're isolated, and having access to support is gonna help help improve clinical decision-making, decrease your second-guessing, and decrease that feeling of being overwhelmed because you'll have access to, to support. So, um, if you are interested in Play Therapy Academy, I do have openings right now. Um You can pop over to my website at rhplaytherapytraining.com. That's rhplaytherapytraining.com, Renewing Hearts Play Therapy Training. Pop over to the, uh, supervision consultation page and kind of scroll down to where you see Play Therapy Academy. You'll see the difference between Play Therapy Academy and Elevation Circle. Um, but if you're interested in Play Therapy Academy 'cause you really wanna build your skills and you need some support to do that, to stop second guessing yourself, and learn how to apply your play therapy model across all of the stages, then just schedule a video call and we'll see if Play Therapy Academy's a good fit for you. If not, maybe Elevation Circle's a good fit, um, or neither is a good fit, and I've had the chance to meet an awesome person. So, um, if you're interested, we're also gonna post links to Play Therapy Academy information and scheduling a video call. We'll post those in the comments as well. If you're listening on the podcast, just pop over to my website and schedule the video call with me, or feel free on Instagram, Facebook, and, um, yeah, Instagram and Faceb- and LinkedIn. If you have questions, just message me. All right. And that is it for today, and I forgot, I'm gonna end with, in the United States, we are celebrating our 250th anniversary. So for those of you here in the US or if you're a, a American abroad, uh, happy f- happy Fourth of July this weekend. I, I wish a safe and happy holiday for you and your loved ones as you gather together and we celebrate our amazing country, um, 250, 250 years. And I will see you next week. Bye for now. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Next Level Play Therapy. I hope you found the discussion valuable and gained new insights and ideas to support your work helping children, adolescents, and families heal. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. Your feedback helps to improve and reach more people who can benefit from this information. Remember, play therapy is a powerful tool for healing and growth. Whether you're a new play therapist or experienced, I encourage you to continue your learning journey to unlock the potential of play in your own work and relationships. If you have any questions or topic suggestions for future episodes, I'd love to hear from you. Connect with me on social media and visit my website at Renewing Hearts Play Therapy Training to stay updated on upcoming episodes, trainings, and resources. Thank you once again for listening to Next Level Play Therapy. Until next time, keep playing, learning, and growing.