Stop Guessing: 3 Indicators Play Therapy is Working

Tired of feeling like you’re just "playing" without a clear way to track progress in play therapy?

As play therapists, we often hear the same question from parents: "How is my child actually doing?" 

And maybe you’re struggling to answer that question yourself, let alone explain it to parents.

If you find yourself unsure how to tell if your clients are progressing in play therapy or if play therapy is working, this free weekly podcast episode is for you.

In this episode, we’re diving into why measuring progress in play therapy feels so difficult without a solid clinical framework. 

We’ll discuss how to track progress in the playroom and determine if you’re on the right course helping clients heal. 

What we’ll cover:

• The Framework Gap: Why most play therapists watch for the wrong indicators (and what to do about it).
• Stage-Specific Progress: How "success" looks different in the early, middle, and late stages of healing.
• The 3 Essential Categories of Progress:
  1. Therapeutic Relationship: Identifying shifts from guardedness to vulnerability.
  2. Play Themes & Content: Recognizing when chaotic play transforms into mastery and resolution.
  3. Regulation & Agency: Spotting the growth in self-regulation and emotional tolerance.

Stop second-guessing your clinical decisions and start reporting to parents with confidence. Learn how to name exactly what is happening in the playroom and why it matters for the child’s healing journey.

Let’s connect in the comments: What do YOU currently look for as indicators that play therapy is working? 

Drop your thoughts below!

#PlayTherapy #ChildTherapy #PlayTherapyFramework #MentalHealthProfessionals #TherapistTraining #ClinicalProgress

Join my free Facebook Community Play and Expressive Arts Therapy Playground.

Check out my free resources for mental health professionals working with children, adolescents, and families who want to integrate play therapy and expressive arts into their clinical work.

I work with individuals and agencies to develop successful strategies and meet the treatment needs of your child and adolescent clients and their families using play therapy & expressive arts.

Contact me to schedule a free 30-minute video call if you're ready to level up your skills

Transcript

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Welcome to Next Level Play Therapy, a weekly podcast dedicated to supporting the next generation of child and adolescent therapists to provide exceptional play therapy services. We'll explore all things play therapy to elevate your work with children and adolescents using the therapeutic powers of play. I'll discuss practical tips and ideas so you can provide a transformative experience for your young clients and make a real difference in their lives. So get ready to take your play therapy skills to the next level and make a lasting impact in the lives of children, adolescents, and families. Hey there. Welcome to this, this week's episode of Next Level Play Therapy. And today we're gonna talk about something that comes up a lot, and that is how do you figure out if your client is making progress in play therapy? The other part of that is how do you answer that question for parents? So a lot of times play therapists are feeling like they don't know how to tell if their client is making progress. They're not sure what indicators to look for. How do you know if it's just playing, or is it actually therapeutic? And if it's actually therapeutic, how do you know if the child is benefiting from it in a way that they're making meaningful progress? So how do you know what to look for to figure that out? Because that, that's how you also answer that question of how do I know when my client is ready for termination. You won't unless you know what to look for in terms of progress along the way. And so if you have found yourself struggling to figure out, how do I know if play therapy's working and if my client is making any progress, then this episode is for you. So if you're watching, I would love to know who's here and where you're from, what population you work with, what play therapy model are you using, what indicators are you looking for, what are your questions about play therapy indicators. If you're watching the live episode, go ahead and post those in the comments. And for those of you who are watching the replay, still enter your… or just post your comments in, uh, in the comments, and I would love to continue the conversation. For those of you listening to the podcast episode, feel free to hop over to YouTube and post in there, or over to Instagram and message me with your questions at Renewing Hearts Training. And let's get started for today. Okay. First, full disclosure. I have been up since 4:00 this morning.

It is now 7: 3:21

00 on the West Coast, which is where I live. And so my brain is just a tiny bit wobbly today. So if I sound a little stumbly, that's probably why. I ended up… Because I couldn't sleep. All right, the… I'll tie this in. But I, because I- I'm in this Facebook group, and they were talking about the, the, um, case going on with the mother who had some significant mental health issues. And my understanding is as a result- Killed her children, which is incredibly, incredibly tragic. And so I hadn't heard of this story until like 4:30 this morning when I was trying to occupy my mind, and I was scrolling through this Facebook group of all therapists, and they were talking about it. It was a really fascinating conversation in the Facebook group, but then that got me even more tired because I wasn't sleeping. And so anyways, tying that into therapists, and there was a lot of clinical discussion and clinical decision-making going on there, which I find fascinating. So back to the topic of hand, for those of you who are a play therapist or you work with children and adolescents, or you're using creative or expressive arts modalities for your clients, it's-- I think it's even harder sometimes to figure out if-- answer that question of, is my client making progress? Are they ready for termination? Like, how do I know if it's working? Because a lot of times we're using expressive modalities and not kind of the traditional talk therapy where we can check in with our adult client and say, "How do you feel like you're doing? What progress do you feel like you're making? How close do you feel like you are to being ready to successfully graduate from counseling?" We, we don't do that, especially the younger the child, we're not going any- anywhere near any version of that. And so this question of how do we, how do we identify if progress is being made is, is really important when you're working with children and adolescents and you're using more expressive arts modalities. And play therapy is one type of expressive arts modality So that's the topic for today. Feel free to join in the conversation, and let's get started. So the, the topic for today is Stop Guessing: Three Indicators That Play Therapy Is Working. And so, um, one of the things that we want to look at is why progress can be a little challenging to figure out if you're not using a framework. And so what… It, it is hard to measure if you don't know what to look for. And a lot of times, my experience has been doing, doing consultation for the last 20 years, there's a similar theme that I see over and over and over, and that is not knowing what to look like because you're not really using a framework. And most… What'll happen is most play therapists will do one or more of, of the following three things or any version of these three things, and, and it doesn't give you the full picture of is your client making progress and is play therapy even working? So one of the things that play therapists will do is look at behavior, which makes sense, and we do wanna look at behavior. So I don't wanna say this isn't something that we use. I use it all the time, but it's only one clue to figuring out the question of are they making progress and is play therapy working? And so if you're looking at behavior, um, that's, that's only gonna give you part of the answer and here's why. Sometimes what'll happen is you'll see changes in the play therapy ro- in the playroom. You're looking at their themes. You're looking at what's going on. You're kinda matching that up to your play therapy model and getting a sense of what's going on. But they might not have made the changes outside of the playroom. Or the, the opposite of that might be that you, you might see really quick, immediate changes, and the deeper level root has not fully been healed. So the likelihood it'll come back is higher because you haven't really gotten at the root. So if you're only looking at behavior, then it's not gonna give you the full picture. Let's see. Um- All righty. The second thing that you may wanna look at, uh, or, or what I find play therapists are looking at is they're just kind of, um, not sure what to look at, so they don't really have any particular Um, indicators of what they're, what they're looking for, and so they don't know what to look for, which means then they're kind of, um, watching and hoping. I find this happens a lot. They're kind of hoping at some point in time they'll be able to figure it out, so they're in the sessions, and this is usually where a little bit of imposter syndrome kicks in. This is usually where what I call the spaghetti against the, the spaghetti against the wall syndrome kicks in because you start worrying that you're not helping your clients and play therapy's not working. So then you start getting really directive and coming up with all kinds of play therapy activities because you don't know what to look for to see if it's actually working. And so you're not necessarily sure what to look for or how to make sense of it to give you some of those clues. Um, so those are, those are two of the indicators I, um… Sorry, I was just looking at my notes here. Oh, the other indicator, 'cause so there was another one. I think another one that play therapists look at is if they can get the child to talk about it, and I think this is where you find the difference between people who are using play therapy and understand play is the language and the vehicle for change, and those people, uh, therapists who are using play-based inter- interventions, but they're using more of a traditional talk therapy framework or mindset even, I would say. And so their goal is to have the child play games or use art to get them to talk about it. And in some play therapy models, that is part of the model. So if you're only able to measure progress if you can get your client to talk about it, that's not always gonna work, and then a lot of times it doesn't work, I find. And so, um, that, if you're using that as your indicator, it doesn't always work out so great. So what, then what, what ends up happening is play therapists start feeling a little cu- confused and not sure what to do, and the thing is there are clear indicators And there's usually a few things that I look at in order to get a sense of where my client is. And so I'm gonna talk a little bit about, I'm gonna talk about three kind of really broad ones today. The thing is, they are grounded in your play therapy framework. Your play therapy framework is like your GPS. It tells you what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. There are specific stages to your play therapy model. So if you're in stage one, your role in stage one is gonna look a little different than your role in stage, like, three or four. And what you do in the play therapy sessions is gonna look different at each stage. So what you're looking for and how are you making sense of what's going on in the playroom is gonna be influenced by your play therapy model, and that's also gonna influence what you're looking for to happen in each stage of the play therapy process. So that's a lot of what we talk about in Play Therapy Elevation Circle a- and also Play Therapy Academy when we're staffing cases. This question always, always, always comes up Which is how do I know if it's working, and how do I know what's going on in the session to tell if it's working? So there are specific things your play therapy model is gonna anchor for you to help you figure that out. If you don't have a play therapy framework that you're operating out of, then that's likely why you might feel lost and start second-guessing yourself along the way. That's what I notice comes up and happens a lot. And to be honest, I've been doing this as a, I've been in the child and adolescent field for, I'm coming up on 35 years. I still get lost sometimes. Clients are complex. Things change, and not every client shows up the way I just learned in the training. So I'll go back to my framework. I go, and that's what anchors me and guides me through. And your, your framework is what helps you know how to do your decision-making through those different stages, and it's gonna influence how are you making sense of what's going on so you can figure out if it's working. And so what, what a child does in the early stages of play therapy is gonna look different than the later stages of play therapy, and your play therapy framework or your play therapy model is influencing what's supposed to happen in each stage of that process so you know what you're looking for. And so those are, um… So when you, when you can figure out what stage they're in, then that's gonna give you some good clues about whether or not they're making progress All righty. So, um, second question. Sorry, we have a, we have a naughty person making comments on YouTube, and I'm hoping that my virtual assistant Brill will cut those out. They're a little distracting, I'm not gonna lie. When I see those, I'm like,"Oh my God." 'Cause my brain is like, "Oh, I wanna ans- read this comment, and so that's a great addition to the conversation." And then I read the comment, and it's, it's like a five-year-old immature, naughty person has just entered into your office being very distracting. So, uh, anyways, let me get… Uh, so I'm, I'm probably not gonna look at the comments for a little while. But let me l- let me go through the three categories, and these are really broad categories that you can look at. So again, the reason they're broad is because your play therapy model is gonna help you drill down even more and get more specific. And for the sake of providing you with some information about what to look for, um, th- these are three pretty good indicators regardless of what play therapy model you're using. And here's a th- here's the thing. For those of you who are using an integrative model, which back in the day we used to call eclectic, I think s- sometimes we still say eclectic, but nowadays most people say they're integrative. And, uh, to be honest, I would say I'm integrative as well once I got honest with myself and said, "No, I'm not really child-centered anymore." Although I love child-centered play therapy, and I do use it when I, I use other models too And because of that, so when I'm using child-centered play therapy, I'm using that framework. When I'm integrating several theoretical models, then I am thinking about how those frameworks measure progress and what's supposed to happen in the different stages. So I'm still anchoring what I'm doing in those, in those theoretical models that I'm integrating into one specific approach, and that's gonna help me figure out what's working, and if it's not working, then using my clinical decision-making based on those theoretical models, what are some things that I need to do in order to navigate through this thing that is going on? And your play therapy model is gonna influence that, even when you're integrating different models. So the three, three really broad categories to look at are essentially the first one is you're looking at changes in that therapeutic relationship. So a lot of times what you'll see is kids coming in, maybe being really hesitant, maybe kind of looking around the playroom or exploring the what's in the playroom but not really sustaining much play with the with what's in there. Maybe they're not interacting with you very much, or maybe they're asking a lot of questions 'cause they're trying to get a sense of what are the rules in here and how does this work. And so, uh, or maybe they're not inviting you into the play, but maybe they're playing, but they're not engaging you in the play. They're being a little standoffish. And then somewhere along the line, what you notice is they're engaging more with you. They're sustaining play much more in the session. And so what you see them move, even in the way in which they interact with you, you're seeing changes. So maybe in the beginning, they're guarded, and then maybe Four or five sessions down the road, now they're giving you some very painful shots or, or they're wanting to sh- you know, uh, have a rambunctious sword fight and you're getting killed off and maimed in many different ways, brought back to life, and then maimed again. So you can see some of that aggression in there, whereas before in the beginning of the session they wouldn't have done that. Or, um, maybe in the beginning they wouldn't even talk to you and kept their back to you, and maybe four or five sessions down the road, now they're at least letting you see what they're doing. So you can see that therapeutic relationship. They're starting to feel more comfortable. Maybe they're not t- maybe they weren't testing the limits in the beginning, and now they are testing limits, and maybe that, maybe that is a good sign, right? That's kinda how I look at it. It's just part of, part of the process, and I notice that that's a shift. And I also know, especially how my play therapy model defines that, um, what stage we're in. Because then I know what needs to happen after that to indicate progress. And so you wanna look at how they're interacting with you and any changes in that therapeutic relationship, because one of the things that we also know is that children can't really engage in the deeper level healing process until they feel safe. This is true for grown-ups as well, because it requires vulnerability and trust. And so in order to do that, they have to feel safe in there. So that's one indicator. Another indicator of change would be looking at what's going on in their play themes, what's going on in the behavior that you're seeing, the words that they're saying. All of these indicating the deeper level play therapy themes that your client is navigating through. So what we know is, we say this all the time, play is the language of children, and it's how they communicate. So what they say and what they do are indicators for what is the theme, and that's the deeper level psychological- whole thing going on for that child. If you're interested in, uh, learning a little bit more about play themes, I have other episodes that you may wanna go and watch. Also, I have some blogs on my website, so if you're interested in previous episodes, podcast episodes, or the live stream episodes, you can watch those over on YouTube, or pop over to my website at rhplaytherapytraining.com, and there's more information about that there For the sake of this conversation, how do you, how do you identify if progress is being made or if it's actually working? Then one of the indicators is looking at the play themes, those patterns from session to session to session, and also tying that into your play therapy framework, because that's gonna give you an indication of what is supposed to be going on at a, at certain stages. What is it that you're looking for? So some of the things that you're looking are what are the themes going on? So maybe in the beginning you see the child engaging in really aggressive play, maybe you've been handcuffed over and over or put in jail, sword fights, or maybe and they're playing in the kitchen and they're making food and they're putting poison in the food for you. Um, or s- or they're playing with the baby dolls and the babies are being naughty, you know, some of these types of themes. And then maybe three or four months down the road, now you're seeing them play out more nurturing themes. So maybe you're not getting killed off 97 times anymore, or handcuffed and thrown in jail, and maybe now there's more nurturing play in terms of maybe in the kitchen now we're playing with food in a nurturing way, or we're taking care of the baby dolls in a nurturing way, or in the sand tray you're seeing the themes that might be going on underneath the aggression, like if the child's parents are getting divorced and maybe in the beginning there was a lot of aggression, and then maybe in the sand tray now you're starting to see wedding figures show up in the sand tray and you know they're beginning to explore some of those attachment family changes that are going on. And so the themes are gonna shift throughout the stages, and based on your play therapy model, you're looking at what those changes are, but the themes will give you a really good indicator. And you wanna watch for themes over time and how they shift, and so that'll give you some of the information you need in order to see if play therapy is working and if it's, if your client is making progress. And keep in mind, sometimes children will progress and then something might come up Then they might regress for a, a little while. So it's not uncommon that things go, um, back and forth until they make it through everything that they need to work through and can successfully accomplish that deeper level healing. So the third, the third indicator that you wanna look for is, uh, what I, what I would call changes in self-regulation and agency. So what do I mean by that? So if we look at this from… I'm gonna look at this from an attachment lens, because I feel like you can apply an attachment and neuroscience lens to most play therapy models. But if we're looking at an attachment lens, and we're, we're kinda looking at the attachment relationship influences a child's beliefs about themselves, others, and relationships. Keep in mind though, sometimes you can have a really strong, secure attachment relationship, and the child is struggling, and this is where we wanna look at also maybe some neurodiversity and how that might be influencing beliefs about self. So if I'm looking at this from that neuroscience and attachment lens, these are the things that I'm gonna look at. But what I'm, what I know is when children have, um, a, a positive beliefs about themselves more often than not, right? Um, then they, they are more regulated, they adjust to changes better, their belief systems aren't negative, so then they're not activating these either shut down or meltdown responses. So that's a lot of the work that we do as play therapists is helping to shift those internal struggles, some of which are greatly influenced by beliefs about themselves. And so what- when they're starting to feel better about themselves, when they're, the world around them is starting to feel safer, 'cause maybe it's a safety and trauma issue, and their beliefs about the world is that I'm not safe or people are bad. Well, they'll probably go into fight, flight, or freeze mode with that. So what we're, what we know is when healing starts to happen internally, we will see the external changes with that evo, um… So we also know that children engage in internalizing behavior or externalizing behaviors, and so we'll see a shift with that when they start feeling better about themselves. Um, and the other thing is that idea of agency, where they feel more confident to ask for what they need or to let other people know what they need or figure out ways to get their needs met. So here, here's what I mean by that. So let's say you have a client early in the play therapy process who has a, a, you're seeing themes of helplessness, and you're seeing their behaviors, i- that would give indicators of a sense of helplessness. So they w- they're, their, um, distress tolerance is really, really low, and they immediately go to you to solve all their problems. They want you to fix it. You're the grown-up, you're supposed to fix things and make it better. And so what they don't do is they don't get the sense of I'm capable, or if we use our for- some of our Cs from Adlerian play therapy, have courage to try something, and I am capable in order to do these things. And so in the beginning, they may kind of abdicate effort or responsibility. Those are… I don't know if I love those words, but they're a good place to start. I think you get what I mean And so then maybe as they're starting to feel more confident in themselves, or maybe they're increasing their ability to tolerate distress and have experiences of being capable, having courage to do that, then you start seeing that they're able to do things for themselves that they really need to do in order to feel capable. Um, you know, if we think about Erikson's stages of social-emotional development, that school-age time of initiative versus shame and guilt, and, um, are they able to take that initiative to, to do that because they feel competent to do that? And so another indicator of progress would be you start seeing greater capacity for regul- self-regulation, meaning they're not shutting down as much, or they're not exploding as much, and they also have that sense of competence th- where they can seek out what they need and do things in a way that help them to feel capable So, um, and that's, that's part of that therapeutic progress because we're looking at where they are developmentally and what within that developmental stage, what would we typically look for in that stage? And is this client able to demonstrate those developmental tasks, including where, uh, where are they in terms of feeling competent and capable to have that sense of agency for themselves? So these are three categories, um, or three, three indicators to look for to measure progress. Um, and so the other thing is I do wanna let you know about what's coming up as well. So I'm actually gonna go a little deeper into this whole framework process and stop second guessing. I have a workshop, um, a webinar, a free webinar coming up on Sunday, August 23rd, so four days from now. I'm gonna go much deeper with this on August 23rd in my free webinar, and we're gonna be looking at, um, how those ind- how these indicators kind of connect with the framework and how that influences your clinical decision-making going forward and what are, what are, um, ways in which you can use your framework, use your clinical decision-making, and also use support in order to stop second guessing. And so the other thing is, so if, if you're interested, that webinar is called How to Provide Play Therapy Without Second Guessing Every Clinical Decision, Even Complex Cases. So we're gonna put a link in the comments, so register today. Register soon so you don't miss it. It's 90 minutes. I'm gonna try and get it closer to an hour, but it's 90 minutes. How to Provide Play Therapy Without Second Guessing Every Clinical Decision, Even Complex Cases. We're gonna kinda take a deep ta- dive into a three-part framework that I have seen work over and over and over and over, and when these three parts aren't present, that's usually when people struggle And then, uh, the other thing that I, I wanna let you know about is, so the webinar is on Sunday, August 23rd. After that, enrollment is gonna open up for my play therapy membership called Play Therapy Elevation Circle. It's a community where you can get access to support. We staff cases, we discuss clinical topics relevant for play therapists, share tips and ideas so that you don't have to do it alone. Because one of the things that I find happens that contributes to the second guessing is providing play therapy alone, because there are a lot of moving parts that are hard to figure out all by ourselves. No matter what stage of your career you're in, being part of a community is always helpful, and important clinically, I would say. So that's opening up. Um, the webinar is first, so come to the webinar. We take a deeper dive in that, and then also Play Therapy Elevation Circle enrollment is opening up after that. So if you're interested in Play Therapy Elevation Circle, um, enrollment is opening soon, but register for the website,'cause we'll start with that. Go over to my website at rhplaytherapytraining.com. That's Renewing Hearts Play Therapy training.com, rhplaytherapytraining.com. The, uh, register for the website, um, and also stay tuned for when Elevation Circle is opening up, and I will see you. Hopefully, I'll see you on Sunday. If not, I will see you next week. Bye for now. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Next Level Play Therapy. I hope you found the discussion valuable and gained new insights and ideas to support your work helping children, adolescents, and families heal. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. Your feedback helps to improve and reach more people who can benefit from this information. Remember, play therapy is a powerful tool for healing and growth. Whether you're a new play therapist or experienced, I encourage you to continue your learning journey to unlock the potential of play in your own work and relationships. If you have any questions or topic suggestions for future episodes, I'd love to hear from you. Connect with me on social media and visit my website at Renewing Hearts Play Therapy Training to stay updated on upcoming episodes, trainings, and resources. Thank you once again for listening to Next Level Play Therapy. Until next time, keep playing, learning, and growing.