How to be ASSERTIVE at work | Business English communication class

If you want to be more assertive when speaking English at work, without sounding rude then this episode is for you. Maybe you want to sound more native and natural when having difficult conversations in English. Hopefully the communication tips and vocabulary in this podcast will be able to help you.

Also, if you're studying for the IELTS, TOEFL, DET or Cambridge English tests and exams then you might find some of the vocabulary in this episode really useful.

This podcast is all about helping you to communicate better, in English, at work. I work with international English speakers from around the world who use English, at work, as a second or third language and I hope that I can bring some of the ideas, vocabulary, and grammar, from those sessions, to you in this podcast.

- Book a one-to-one coaching session with me at breakoutbusinessenglish.com
- Use code PODCAST30 for 30% off your first coaching session

Do you want to see what I do? Click here:
https://youtu.be/CpkSqdI1JAU?si=YNzbpTQy899L5D9G

Don’t forget that my full time job is helping international professionals who use English at work to improve their communication skills. So, if you need English to do your job but don’t speak it natively then maybe we can work together to help you to achieve your language goals. 

- Don’t forget to leave a review, and request future topics!
- New episodes released every Wednesday
- Watch English speaking analysis on the Breakout Business English YouTube channel

#businessenglish #englishtips #englishclass #IELTS

Laugh Love Law

Real conversations. Real people. Real impact. A podcast about life, law and...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Transcript

Welcome back to the breakout business English podcast. My name is Chris. I'm a business English and communication coach, and I've personally worked with over 1000 international professionals, just like you, to improve the way that they communicate at work in English. Thank you so much for listening and for your time. I know how valuable it is. And our topic today is how to have difficult and awkward conversations, and maybe how to be a little more assertive too. So today I had a coaching session. With someone I've been working with for a while, a client I've been working with for a while. And she mentioned to me, that she'd recently asked her boss for a raise for an increase in her salary. Now, I love negotiation. It's one of my favorite topics in professional communication. I've read lots of books on the topic and worked with professionals around the world to role play and prepare them. For various negotiations. So I leaned in. I was excited to hear how the conversation went, where she started, what the initial reaction was from her boss and where she took the conversation. And how she pushed to get the outcome that she was looking for. However, That's not quite what happened. In fact, the conversation was a lot shorter than that. The person I was coaching. Started by talking about the value of her contribution. And how much she'd improved since she joined the company. And that was a great start. So far, so good. Then she announced her number. Okay, a single specific number that she wanted her boss to agree to pay her. Fine, not the best strategy, but we can go there. And what did her boss say? Sorry, we can't do that. Okay, I thought, now the negotiation starts. Now we're going to build a conversation. And a structure that leads her boss to the logical conclusion that she needs to offer this person more money. Actually, no. That's where the conversation ended. What went wrong? I asked. How might you have structured the conversation differently? This client of mine, who I should say is a fantastic professional with an incredible CV in her industry, told me that pushing any harder for a raise or Maybe making the conversation more direct felt Hoshi? Too direct? Maybe Pew. Assertive. She didn't want to come across as rude. It would be awkward to have that conversation with her boss, and she wanted to avoid it. So she did. And I completely understand where she's coming from. Conversations like that aren't fun for most people. Especially if you don't come from a professional culture where that kind of approach is common. And especially if you haven't practiced them very much. So. With that said, today we're going to talk about having difficult conversations and being a little more assertive at work. We're going to discuss a couple of ideas and strategies that can make these conversations feel a little easier. And the vocabulary. That we can use to achieve our goals. Burst. Let's talk about announcing our intentions. This is a tip that I picked up from Lean In. L-E-A-N In. Lean in. "Lean In" is a non-profit organization founded by Sheryl Sandberg. It's an organization that inspires and equips women to lead and excel in leadership roles. And if that name, Sheryl Sandberg, sounds familiar, then that's likely because Sandberg was the COO of Facebook and Meta from 2008 to 2022. Her organization these days is mainly focused on women, of course, but the ideas that she and her team promote are often just Generally Great communication ideas. So lean in. Suggests. That preparing people for what you're about to say is a great way to be direct and assertive without sounding rude. It shows that you're being deliberate and intentional. And that you've given careful thought to what you're about to say. You're announcing it. You're not just going to speak. The first thoughts that come into your head and Speak. We might say off the top of your head. This is something that you've planned. You know exactly what you're going to say. So let's listen now to some examples of how we can prepare our colleagues for a very direct Conversation. I'd like to talk about our budget. And specifically I'm going to broach the topic of spending cuts. I'd like to talk about our budget. And specifically, I'm going to broach the topic of spending cuts. Right now, we need to tackle the performance shortcomings head on. And that's what I'd like to discuss. Right now. We need to tackle the performance shortcomings head on and that's what I'd like to discuss. There are some findings in the report that I want to flag up with the team today. There are some findings in the report that I want to flag up with the team today. In the first example, We heard the lovely and slightly formal word, Roach. That's B-R-O-A-C-H, broach. When you broach something, you carefully bring up or raise a topic that might be a little difficult. Or sensitive. Often for the first time. It's the moment when you decide to stop avoiding something and just come out and say it. The word actually comes from an old Cool. A broach. Which is used to pierce a barrel of wine or beer to put a hole in the barrel so the drink could start flowing out. So when you broach a subject, you're piercing the surface of a conversation to let something out that's been sitting there waiting. Here's how it sounds at work. I need to broach the subject of overtime pay with my manager. I need to broach the subject of overtime pay with my manager. It's a slightly formal word, as I mentioned. So you likely won't hear it much in casual chat, but it's perfect for emails or meetings where you want to sound thoughtful and careful. And it usually suggests that the topic is a little awkward. You wouldn't say you're going to broach what to have for lunch, for instance, unless you one. To eat something particularly awkward and strange for lunch. I brought a very smelly lunch with me today and I need to broach this terrifying topic with my colleagues. Okay, when you flag something up, you're drawing attention to it. Making sure other people notice it. Usually because it's important. Unusual Maybe something out of the ordinary. And it needs attention. Think about a little flag. To say, hey, look over here. So in our examples, this was in the third example. I said that there are some findings in the report that I want to flag up with the team today. There are some findings in the report that I want to flag up. With the team today. It's a phrasal verb and it's separable. So you can say, Blag it up. That's putting the pronoun in the middle, flag it up, or flag up the issue, flag up the topic. Or indeed flag the issue up. Both are fun. You'll hear it constantly in office life and it's a phrasal verb so it's more common. Blagging up a risk in a project maybe? You could flag up a mistake in some data. Or maybe you could flag up a concern about a deadline. One useful contrast is that flag up is softer and more neutral than complain about or criticize. If you flag up a problem, you're not necessarily blaming anyone, you're just making sure that people are aware. You will hear this used without the preposition, just as a verb, instead of a phrasal verb. And it works the same way. For instance, thanks for flagging those mistakes in the slide deck. Thanks for flagging those mistakes in the slide deck. And As I mentioned earlier... This is a tip that I picked up from Lean In, which is Sheryl Sandberg's leadership coaching organization. And feel free to search for Lean In. As I mentioned, that's L-E-A-N and then the preposition. In. They are a fantastic organization, specifically aimed at giving women tools and skills that can help out in leadership roles. I point a lot of my clients in their direction, and I'm sure you'll find a lot of value there. And if you want to improve your ability to of awkward and difficult conversations at work, maybe you want to be more assertive but not come across as rude, then maybe we can work together. My full-time job is helping international professionals who use English at work to improve their communication skills. So. If you need English to do your job, but you don't speak it natively, then I would love to meet you. If you'd like to book some time to meet with me through one-to-one video calls, just you and me, then you can go to BreakoutBusinessEnglish.com. That's the title of the podcast, BreakoutBusinessEnglish.com and find out more. Starting on our first call, we can focus on the specific opportunities that you personally have to improve your English and communication skills. And the mistakes that you make most often or cause the biggest problems with your communication. And right now. You can use the code PODCAST30, that's PODCAST30, at checkout to get a 30% discount off your first booking. Of 30, 45, or 60 minutes, whichever is best for you. Sometimes my calendar gets a little busy, so if you have trouble finding a time that works and fits for your schedule, you can always send me a message through the contact page on the website and ask if I have any time to fit you in. I've worked with over 1,000 non-native English-speaking professionals, from new graduates up to CEOs and government leaders, or most certainly from some companies and some governments that you've heard of, to help them achieve their goals and goals. I look forward to meeting you. Okay, so an idea that I think is really interesting on this topic is to identify the elephant in the room. If it's an awkward situation that no one really wants to discuss, then ...say it. Tell your colleagues, clients, or customers that you understand that this is an awkward conversation. Often just labeling the awkwardness can make people more willing to embrace the challenge of a difficult conversation. Let's listen now. To some examples of people pointing out The challenging nature of a conversation topic. I appreciate that this is a delicate topic that we need to handle with kid gloves. I appreciate that this is a delicate topic that we need to handle with kid gloves. I think we've been ignoring the elephant in the room for some time. And I'm eager to resolve the issue. I think we've been ignoring the elephant in the room for some time, and I'm eager to resolve the issue. Now, I want to take some time to talk about the phrase to handle with kid gloves. To handle with kid gloves. And I have to admit that before I came to write the script for this podcast, I was mistaken. About the origin of this idiom. Bye. To get it at face value, I guess you'd say. I thought that kid gloves meant that you should treat someone. Like they're a child. I thought that this meant you need to be careful with what you say to them and try to be kind even when you're communicating negative information, because you're treating them like children. But... It has nothing to do with children at all. And I was completely mistaken. So this phrase actually comes from real gloves. In fact, Kid. גלווים עודפים, מביאים A kid. And a kid is a young goat. So if a kitten is a young cat and a puppy is a young dog, then a kid is a young goat. And kid leather is famously soft and delicate. So. The images of hands so gentle they could hold something fragile without damaging it. With hands in gloves of kid leather. So if you handle someone with kid gloves, you treat them very carefully and gently. Usually because the situation is sensitive. Or the person might react badly. If you are too direct. Think about a manager. Who has to give difficult feedback to someone who's just come back from sick leave, maybe. You'd probably handle that conversation with kid gloves. Or in the office, you might say, after the layoffs, HR handled the remaining staff with kid gloves. After the layoffs, HR handled the remaining staff. With kid gloves. Meaning they were extra careful with people's feelings during a stressful time. Let's talk about a phrase that comes up whenever there's a problem that everyone can see but no one wants to mention. And that phrase is the elephant in the room. In the second example, we heard, I think we've been ignoring the elephant in the room for some time. And I'm eager to resolve the issue. I think we've been ignoring the elephant in the room for some time. And I'm eager to resolve the issue. So just imagine that. An actual elephant, a real elephant sitting there in your office. And everyone carries on with the meeting as if it's completely normal. That's the picture here. That's the image we want you to have in your head when you use this phrase, this idiom, the elephant in the room. We use this idiom for an obvious problem or awkward topic, that everyone is aware of, but everyone is avoiding. Usually because it feels uncomfortable to bring up. You might hear a colleague say, I think we need to address the elephant in the room. I think we need to address the elephant in the room, meaning let's stop ignoring the obvious issue and actually talk about it. It's almost always used with the. Not ask. We say the elephant in the room because it's used to acknowledge a specific person Subject. A shared problem. Not just any random topic. And it's usually paired with verbs like address, acknowledge, are ignored. Think that we all have dealt with elephants in rooms. At maybe family gatherings, if your family gets together and there's one thing that everyone knows has happened but no one wants to talk about, that's the elephant in the Room that. Don't forget that if you would like to discuss any of the ideas, vocabulary or grammar, etc. In today's podcast or work on your communication skills more generally, then you can book a session to work with me at breakoutbusinessenglish.com. That's breakoutbusinessenglish.com.com even. And use the code podcast30 at checkout to get a 30% discount off your first booking. Between episodes of the podcast, you can get videos every couple of days on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Although more recently, mainly on YouTube. Just search for Breakout Business English. If there is a topic that you'd like to hear me talk about on the podcast, then I'd be excited to hear your ideas. Leave me a message or a comment on one of my YouTube videos and I look forward to hearing from you. I will be releasing a video in a couple of days on the topic of how to sound more confident even when you are not. Specifically dealing with the phrase, does that make sense to you? Does that make sense? After you've explained something. So if you ever find yourself saying, I hope that makes sense. Did that make sense? Does that make sense? Then maybe I've got some ideas for you on how to sound more confident and professional in that situation, even when you don't feel particularly confident. And that's over on YouTube. You can find that by searching Breakout Business English. On YouTube. If you are listening on Apple Podcasts, then I invite you to leave a review. Every review really helps me out and helps to push the podcast to new listeners and to grow the show. So if you found this podcast useful and you think that there are some valuable things in here, if you got value from this episode, then feel free to write a couple of kind words or just leave a star review of three, four, or maybe even five stars. And that's a great place to request a topic for a future podcast. That is it for today. Thank you so much for listening and of course for your time. I do know how valuable it is and I really appreciate and respect your choice to spend some of it with me and with this podcast. I hope you have a great rest of the week. And if your team, your country is still in the World Cup, then best of luck to you. Let's have a quick look. Let's have a World Cup update to finish off with England. We're doing pretty well down to the last few teams. We've got a tough game coming up. Norway. Who else is still in Switzerland, Colombia? You guys are playing right now. Definitely got some people I work with over in Colombia. Who else is still in? Belgium, Spain, Morocco, and I know I've got a few people I work with in France. So if you're still in, best of luck. And I hope everyone's enjoying the tournament. Take care, everyone. Talk to you next time.