In this episode of Limitless Healing with Colette Brown, we hear Matthew Headden's vulnerable journey through addiction and the pivotal moments that led to his recovery and transformation.
He emphasizes the critical role of parents in shaping their children's habits, and how accountability and personal responsibility are instrumental in guiding the next generation.
You’ll hear about shifting perspectives on food and exercise, the power of stillness in finding one's calling, and the undeniable strength in vulnerability and emotional honesty. As Matthew reflects on his personal experiences with support and love, Colette and Matthew highlight gratitude, the courage to seek help, and embracing community.
Matthew's commitment to helping others is evident, and he coaches people to realize that transformation is possible and within reach for all.
Episode Highlights:
02:31 Matthew reflects on his amazing childhood and the realization that his struggles in life where of his own creation
05:21 Matthew's teacher's prediction as he headed off to college
08:44 Matthew's struggles with suicidal thoughts
11:18 Sign from above that changes Matthew's life
18:39 Steps you can take when you can't see through the fog
23:47 Our society's comfort crisis
27:26 The magnitude of parent's influence in their children's lives
30:27 You don't have to "be" before you identify with it
Follow Matthew Headden at:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matthewheadden/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1fP6VGGk-RBOUFWwxfpCZw
______________________________________
Connect with Colette:
Instagram: @wellnessbycolette
Website: Wellness by Colette
Thank you for listening to the Limitless Healing podcast with Colette Brown! It would mean the world if you would take one minute to follow, leave a 5 star review and share with those you love!
In Health,
Colette
In this episode of Limitless Healing with Colette Brown, we hear Matthew Headden's vulnerable journey through addiction and the pivotal moments that led to his recovery and transformation.
He emphasizes the critical role of parents in shaping their children's habits, and how accountability and personal responsibility are instrumental in guiding the next generation.
You’ll hear about shifting perspectives on food and exercise, the power of stillness in finding one's calling, and the undeniable strength in vulnerability and emotional honesty. As Matthew reflects on his personal experiences with support and love, Colette and Matthew highlight gratitude, the courage to seek help, and embracing community.
Matthew's commitment to helping others is evident, and he coaches people to realize that transformation is possible and within reach for all.
Episode Highlights:
02:31 Matthew reflects on his amazing childhood and the realization that his struggles in life where of his own creation
05:21 Matthew's teacher's prediction as he headed off to college
08:44 Matthew's struggles with suicidal thoughts
11:18 Sign from above that changes Matthew's life
18:39 Steps you can take when you can't see through the fog
23:47 Our society's comfort crisis
27:26 The magnitude of parent's influence in their children's lives
30:27 You don't have to "be" before you identify with it
Follow Matthew Headden at:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matthewheadden/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1fP6VGGk-RBOUFWwxfpCZw
______________________________________
Connect with Colette:
Instagram: @wellnessbycolette
Website: Wellness by Colette
Thank you for listening to the Limitless Healing podcast with Colette Brown! It would mean the world if you would take one minute to follow, leave a 5 star review and share with those you love!
In Health,
Colette
Colette Brown [00:00:00]:
Welcome to the Limitless healing podcast where everyone is welcome to take a front row seat and listen in on inspiring conversations, stories of healing and action steps to help you live your best life. My name is Colette Brown and I am passionate about all things wellness, mind, body, soul. Inspired by my own personal transformation from unwell and not knowing where to turn to thriving and flourishing and motivated to help you do the same. I share this platform with medical doctors, wellness practitioners, chronic illness survivors, meditation and mindfulness gurus, innovators of products from food to technology and more. Think of it as a one stop shop for wellness resources where you can listen to professionals from around the world to help you thrive. Join me Mondays and Wednesdays while sipping a cup of tea or making your favorite meal as we explore the world of wellness together. This is the Limitless healing podcast. Our next guest, through his own trials and tribulations and life experiences, helps others to see through their own dilemmas, helping them to become unstuck and not go it alone.
Colette Brown [00:01:23]:
Health and fitness coach, combat veteran, recovered addict, attempted suicide survivor and man of faith wants to help others navigate to the other side to live fulfilled lives. It is my great honor to welcome Matthew Hudden. Welcome, Matthew.
Matthew Headden [00:01:41]:
Thank you so much. And what a beautiful introduction. I'm humbled to be here, as always, and still baffled that people want to hear me run my face when I've been getting in trouble for it my whole life.
Colette Brown [00:01:52]:
Well, you are a person who can speak their mind and through life experience and from a point of wanting to help others, I think that's a gift. So I'm happy to have you.
Matthew Headden [00:02:06]:
What is a blessing? I'm excited.
Colette Brown [00:02:08]:
Yeah. So what I'd like to do first is let's take you back to childhood, to an experience maybe that was really profound or something that pushed you into where you're at today.
Matthew Headden [00:02:22]:
I had a great childhood. I'm an 80s baby, born in 82. My parents are incredible and I had the american dream. White picket fence, wraparound porch in rural now kind of town, South Carolina. And my mom was a Sunday school teacher. My daddy was a southern baptist deacon. And it was great by today's standards. Things were just absolutely amazing.
Matthew Headden [00:02:44]:
And I didn't actually realize how great I had it when I was a kid because I was terrible. I got kicked out of two schools and I was just smarter than everybody in the room. But the things, a lot of times people's things are rooted in childhood trauma and there are still things we work through. But the biggest thing that I've taken from my childhood is realizing that it was actually me creating a lot of my own barriers. I know that's a little bit different, but it was me creating my own barriers by trying to outsmart and think I was smarter than everyone else on the planet.
Colette Brown [00:03:17]:
So would you say that you were just the average just boy that wanted to run around and have fun and get into things?
Matthew Headden [00:03:26]:
Yeah, I was. But I was always looking for ways to outsmart things, and I never really fit in. I will say that I wanted to be the cool kid. I wanted to be the jock. I wanted to be those things. So I played sports, I did those things, but I was never really accepted by that group. And then I didn't want to identify as a nerd, but that's probably where I fit. And I did get picked on and bullied in elementary school and middle school.
Matthew Headden [00:03:51]:
And then I shifted and decided, I'm tired of being picked on. So now I'm going to become the bully. It was better to be on the offense than be on the defense, in my opinion. And I became a jerk. I really did. It was pretty disgusting looking back, but I never had a date. My first date was the end of my freshman year of college. I never went to prom.
Matthew Headden [00:04:11]:
I was kicked out of 7th grade, kicked out of 10th grade. So it was just a lot of rebelling and trying to figure that out later. And even to this day, I will admit, there's times where I look back and go, hey, little Matthew. It's okay, bro. I've got the wheel now. It's okay. You're safe.
Colette Brown [00:04:30]:
Yeah. It's amazing experiences that shape us and you try to protect yourself and that affects how you interact with others. So what does it look like? Then you finish high school, you go to college, and what happens? What path do you go down?
Matthew Headden [00:04:47]:
Oh, man, I just kept going. I just leveled it up at every stage. And it was an implied task, right, for so many people where I grew up, like you, graduate high school and graduated first in my class, go to college on a scholarship. But college was actually not my plan. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I remember having a teacher look at me before I walked out the last day and she said, when you go to college, you will fail.
Colette Brown [00:05:12]:
Wow. Okay. Even though you were top in class.
Matthew Headden [00:05:15]:
Because I'd never had to study a day in my life and I just never paid attention and I never developed those habits. And I was so used to just being smart enough and getting by that I'll be dead. Gum. If she wasn't right.
Colette Brown [00:05:27]:
And did that wake you up when she said that, or did you just think she's crazy?
Matthew Headden [00:05:31]:
No, I thought she was an idiot.
Colette Brown [00:05:33]:
Yeah. Then it starts happening where you actually need to put some elbow grease into your studies and the prophecy comes true.
Matthew Headden [00:05:40]:
Self fulfilling prophecy. Yeah, you got it. I ended up leaving college after my first year. My scholarship was not renewed. I did buckle down a little bit second semester and ended up with, like, a 2.2 or 2.1, which is incredible, considering my first semester was an incomplete. They were just like, dude, we don't even have a grade for this.
Colette Brown [00:06:00]:
And were you going on an athletic scholarship or academic scholarship?
Matthew Headden [00:06:04]:
Okay.
Colette Brown [00:06:05]:
And you go and you have incomplete your first semester. Wow.
Matthew Headden [00:06:09]:
Yeah. It is funny, because everybody, when people look at me, they're like, oh, what sport? I'm like, no, bro. Even though I played in high school, I was never that guy. I just played, but not a lot. And so I got out, just bounced around for a little while. I was young, 1819 year old kid, drinking, doing that kind of stuff. Not a lot. Just trying to find my way a little bit.
Matthew Headden [00:06:30]:
And then I enlisted in the army ten days before 911. So that was a whole nother thing.
Colette Brown [00:06:37]:
Wow. Okay. So then you're in the army. And when do these thoughts of suicide start happening for you? Was it during that time, or was it post?
Matthew Headden [00:06:46]:
No, it was post. When you're in the military, especially back then and worse, previous generations, you don't talk about that stuff. You don't feel it. And let's be real. Like most men, we have no idea what we're feeling, and it manifests as just anger and drinking and violence and stuff like that. And I've said this before, and I've gotten kickback, but when you are in combat, people, you don't really want the guy next to you feeling very much. You really don't want that guy having been to therapy. Like, you don't want him second guessing things.
Matthew Headden [00:07:19]:
You want a guy with no attachments, no family, who will just do really dumb crap and charge head on into somebody that's shooting at him. Basically, everything, against any grain of intelligence, tells you to do, right? Like a Dalmatian running into a fire. Like, really. I did lose a lot of people there. Some of the things that we did, just really stupid, dangerous, sick. We'll leave that there. But the drinking, it's just, you hear, shut up and drink. Just shut up and drink.
Matthew Headden [00:07:48]:
Like we would crack a beer the first thing we got up, go, run, come back and drink another one. That's just what you did. By the end of it, I was walking around the halls, and I was not the only one. Okay. And this was a fairly common practice. Like, you drown what you're feeling. I would just be walking around with a 20 ounce coke with two Jim beam black mini bottles in it at work. And I had friends whose nightstands were kegrators, and they would just roll over from a nightmare in the middle of their sleep, hit their.
Matthew Headden [00:08:17]:
Pour beer in their mouth, and go back to bed.
Colette Brown [00:08:19]:
Wow.
Matthew Headden [00:08:20]:
So it was a common practice. Luckily, there are a few more resources there. Now, the implied thing there is, you have to realize that you need it. But, yeah, it came later. It was just a vicious cycle of self loathing, self deprecation, where I felt like I didn't matter, and I also felt like a monster. Thus the famous quote, when battling monsters, be careful, lest you become one yourself. And it is very hard when you do those things, and whether it's the military or something in your life that's happened to you or that you've done not to start identifying as that. And that became my identity.
Colette Brown [00:08:56]:
And so did alcoholism. And just like the anger that started to consume you, it did.
Matthew Headden [00:09:04]:
It was a symptom, not a source. I'm very big on that. But it turned into the drinking and then self hatred, the self loathing, and then that morphed into a drug addiction that was very heavy. And I had ended up getting pretty good job. I monetarily became fairly successful. It was back to that whole, I can do whatever I want, like, I'm smart enough in spite of myself. But at one point, I was impatient for suicide. I did get divorced twice, and it would not have mattered who I married or dated at that period of time in my life, because it was me that was broken.
Matthew Headden [00:09:42]:
But I was always blaming them, right? Like, they're messed up. It's them, it's them, it's them, it's them. If the same thing keeps happening over and over again, there's only one common denominator, and that common denominator was me.
Colette Brown [00:09:55]:
And you saw that. Where does that lead you in looking at your life and just saying, I've had enough, and things need to change, and you just try to take matters into your own hands.
Matthew Headden [00:10:09]:
I think, like most people trying to make a complete life shift, right? We try over and over again and we fail, and we fail, and we say, this is the last time, whether it be food or whether it be alcohol or whether it be sex or porn or drugs or whatever it is. And then we just start to build proof that we're never going to do it. But even to be very straightforward, even putting a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger and the gun not going off was not enough to wake my idiot self up.
Colette Brown [00:10:33]:
Wow.
Matthew Headden [00:10:34]:
And it just wasn't enough. It was a series of small things, big things that added up over time. But eventually it morphed into basically me finally being honest enough with myself. But it made sense why I didn't change. This is the thing that nobody seems to talk about, why we always hear in today's society that you're worth it. Why the heck would I have felt that I was worth changing if my identity was that of a monster who didn't matter or you're capable of so much more. No, in my head I was capable of extreme violence and cruelty. So why would I change but just skip over a lot of stuff? Basically, I was driving back from Charlotte one Thursday morning at, I think it was four in the morning, and I just started crying because the night before had made me realize, like, I was with a friend and they were like, we got to go.
Matthew Headden [00:11:24]:
And it was just another one of those cycles. And I just started crying and I started praying and I was just like, hey, I know I have a problem, but if you could give me a sign, that'd be really rad. Like, I dated myself there a little bit, but verbatim, it'd be really rad if you did. Fast forward to 09:00 in the morning. My client's late, my attorney calls and because now it's a Thursday, June the 9th, two years ago, actually. And I have a court date Monday for a DUI from three years prior. And to sum it up, he just goes, anyway, the case is dismissed.
Colette Brown [00:11:57]:
Wow.
Matthew Headden [00:11:57]:
5 hours after I prayed for a sign and I hit my knees right there and looked up and just said, I surrender. Because it's in those moments when we get those signs and we ignore them. That's when something really bad happens. And that, for some reason was enough for me to go. If I don't change now, I could die. But I don't think that was it. I think it was the knowledge that if I didn't, that I would hurt and kill someone else and that I knew I couldn't withstand and that I knew would actually make me finally end my life.
Colette Brown [00:12:27]:
Wow, that's powerful. Let's stop for a second there and let's turn this towards people that are listening and they might be having these thoughts or they might have attempted suicide, they might not be where you were, where you're like, this is it. Give me a sign. What is something that somebody can do right now, looking at it from that moment that you were in, that you wish you would have known, or a couple of things that you've learned since that they could do right now?
Matthew Headden [00:12:56]:
I do love to say that you're worth it. And I understand why you feel like you might not.
Colette Brown [00:13:01]:
And it might sound cliche, but go into that.
Matthew Headden [00:13:04]:
Yeah. But one thing is this, right? We hear it several ways. The pain of change has to become less than the pain of staying the same before somebody will change. The other thing that I hear all the time is that real change only happens when you get sick enough or your own crap. The implied missing piece there is, you have to realize it's your own crap first. If you keep hearing things from people over and over and they're the same, or the same pattern keeps happening in a relationship, in your job, and all of these things, newsflash, it ain't the other people, right? And that's where you have to get honest with yourself. And it's much easier for a lot of people, myself included. So no judgment here, to stay a victim.
Matthew Headden [00:13:49]:
And the thing is, things are going to happen to you in your life that are not your fault. I. E. Becoming a victim. Everybody is a victim at some point in their life. Whether you choose to stay one is your choice. And things are going to happen to you in your life that are not your fault, but it is ultimately your responsibility to handle them. I had every reason to sit there and stay in a state of self loathing, but finally, eventually, I chose not to.
Matthew Headden [00:14:15]:
And if you hate the things going on in your life, if you hate the direction your life is going, I'm not saying it's your fault. I'm saying what can you do to affect it to make it better today? Because that is a choice. And to me it's our responsibility. I'm not saying that within two years you're going to be on stage or something, but I'm saying if you're not willing, I had to be willing to change something. I was complaining all the time, but I wasn't willing to change anything. And I realized looking back, we don't get to complain about something if we're not doing anything to change it.
Colette Brown [00:14:47]:
And when you're masking, you can't see through because you're covering these feelings that you have and you're perpetuating the situation and you have to allow yourself that pause to say something's got to give here. Like, I'm not happy. And what does that look like? And would you say that your parents were supportive of you this entire time and trying to help you?
Matthew Headden [00:15:11]:
Yeah. This is where I might get emotional. I remember I was sitting there in my parents mountain house, which they've retired to the mountains when I finally got clean and sober. And they were always supportive. My dad was here in an instant when I went inpatient for suicide. And I'm so blessed that I have that and have people that care, because so many people don't. And for anybody listening in the future, I care. She cares.
Matthew Headden [00:15:34]:
Promise. My mama looked at me with her big blue eyes and she said. She touched my face and she said, here's my son. I haven't seen you in so long, and you're in there like that person you were created to be is in there somewhere. I understand why they're hiding. I understand why they're scared, and I understand why you're protecting them. But you're worth more. And the reason I know that, number one, because I've been there.
Matthew Headden [00:16:02]:
But nobody on this planet has your fingertip. Nobody on this planet has your DNA. Thus you're the only version of you. And I don't think God makes mistakes. So you're here for a reason. And to me, that reason is to love. We can figure the rest out later. But one of my favorite things is whether somebody has my faith or not.
Matthew Headden [00:16:20]:
I love this. Love your neighbor as yourself. The implied task there is you have to love yourself first. The reason that I was mean, the reason I was fighting, the reason I was angry is because I hated who I was. So if we find ourselves doing those things, take a look in one more tip. If you find it painful to be still, to be quiet and you avoid silence, that is a very good indicator. That's exactly what you need.
Colette Brown [00:16:49]:
Great advice in the stillness is when we can hear that little inner voice. And if it's masked and we're constantly busy. You're a workaholic. Whatever it is, addiction, then you can't stop to hear it and hear your true calling. I think we all have gifts to share, and we're all different and we touch lives in ways that nobody else can. But if you're not living your best self, how do you do that? You can't.
Matthew Headden [00:17:17]:
You absolutely can't. And I think we have those moments where you wake up at one or two in the morning. You're like, why do I keep waking up at this time? And I laugh and say, maybe because that's the only time God can get you to be quiet and still long enough to talk to you.
Colette Brown [00:17:32]:
When it's quiet, nothing's going on, and you're focused on yourself and getting back to sleep. Yes. I like that. I like that.
Matthew Headden [00:17:38]:
My mom checked me one time last year when I was running all over the public speaking. I was speaking, like, Newport Beach, LA, Miami, all over the place, right? It was just back to back to back while running my coaching businesses and all that stuff. And I called her, son, you sound tired. I said, mom, I'm so tired. And she said, even Jesus went away to rest. And I was like, yes, ma'am, I know. And she said, do you think you're better than Jesus? I was like, who asks what nobody's going to say yes to?
Colette Brown [00:18:06]:
Kidding me? That's hilarious.
Matthew Headden [00:18:08]:
I was like, I guess I'm not going to Detroit this weekend, because that's hilarious. I love that checkmate by mama.
Colette Brown [00:18:16]:
I love that. That's a beautiful thing. And I know that not everybody has family that is accepting, and that can be part of the problem of their narrative. And even if that's the case, every day we have a choice, and we have to look inside, and we have to find that worth and start maybe writing down. I recommend people every day write down three things that you're grateful for, because you get into those moods where you can't see through the fog. And if you can open that and you can reflect, and whether it's a conversation, a friend, whatever it is, you can look at that and reflect back and let that help to be a guide and let people in to help you. That's so important to be open to receiving.
Matthew Headden [00:19:05]:
We do. And that does happen in the stillness. And I know one of the simple things I pray that I'm thankful for every morning, and hopefully they're not too loud, is the birds. I'm like, you gave me birds to serenade me and wake me up in the morning.
Colette Brown [00:19:17]:
Yeah.
Matthew Headden [00:19:18]:
There are times I'll look at a sunrise or sunset and tear up. I'm like, man, that is so beautiful. And I've had people tell me, like, dude, you're a sissy. Like, you're tearing up at a sunset. I'm like, I never thought I'd see another one.
Colette Brown [00:19:28]:
That's a beautiful thing. And you're not a sissy by any means.
Matthew Headden [00:19:31]:
I'm good. I've proven it.
Colette Brown [00:19:34]:
Okay. Let's say even if you were, it's a beautiful thing that being able to be open and vulnerable is where it needs to be. If you can't be that, it means that you're probably masking something else. So I think that's powerful and that's the state that we should be in. Whatever state you want to call that, 100%.
Matthew Headden [00:19:57]:
And there is strength and vulnerability and men, we stink at that. We're taught we're not. And it is funny. I hate violence now. I'm really good at it, but I hate it. And there is strength on both sides. There is strength in me being able to protect the people around me physically, but they also men. We really mess this up.
Matthew Headden [00:20:20]:
Well, I take care of my family, I pay the bills and I'm strong. If somebody breaks in, I can defend them. Yeah, but that's great. That's half of the equation. Are you emotionally safe for them as well? You have to be both. And we really, in my opinion, mess that up. You should be able to protect those around you physically, emotionally and spiritually. And if you can't do those three things, then you're missing a crucial component.
Colette Brown [00:20:46]:
Yeah. You made me think of Brene Brown, love her and her power of vulnerability. And one of the most favorite things that she said that really stood out is when they were talking to, I believe it was military personnel and talking about vulnerability. And they're like, we're not vulnerable. And she said, name one time when you enter the battlefield that you're not vulnerable and that you're not putting your service people at risk. And it's, wow. Like even the strongest powerful, you lead through vulnerability because you might envision where it's going, but you never know and you are. And so acknowledging that and seeing that, I think also gives the humanity side of who we are.
Colette Brown [00:21:34]:
It brings that into play.
Matthew Headden [00:21:36]:
It does. And it's powerful. And I may butcher this, but it's the old, I believe it's Japanese, where it's warriors training a young warrior. And he says, why do you have me gardening? And he says, it's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. You have to be capable of both. I choose peace because I'm capable of both. And that's a whole nother rabbit hole in a whole nother discussion. But it is beautiful and we do need to be vulnerable.
Matthew Headden [00:22:04]:
And just one other piece down the brown part. Like a lot of people say, go be confident that you're going to change and you can change. You don't get confidence yet. As my buddy David Waldie said, you don't get to have that yet. But what you can be is courageous. You can have courage. And when you have courage and you keep moving forward, and I don't care whether it's the drugs, whether it's the alcohol, whether it's leaving that abusive relationship, whether it's masking your difficulty with food, any of those things, you don't get to have confidence yet, but you can have courage. And when you keep facing it and you keep being courageous, then you can have confidence.
Colette Brown [00:22:40]:
That's powerful. Yes. And you help people every day in your business. You coach people one on one health and fitness and go check out Matthew. He's a very strong physical appearance. And I think on that front, I think that our bodies are our temple and we need to care for them. We need to exercise them, water them with well being, meditation, mindfulness, healthy relationships. There's so many components to wellness.
Colette Brown [00:23:17]:
So it's not just the physical fitness, but you can see a reflection. We are mirrors of who we are from the inside out and the outside in. And it should be a two way mirror, right, where we can see both. And so when you see people and you're working with them, what is one of the most common themes among people who are really resistant to change or taking on something that's hard?
Matthew Headden [00:23:46]:
I think we have a comfort crisis. First off, we are so used to being comfortable in a society that tells us where everything is instant gratification and at our fingertips, like, why would you have to be comfortable? And we've started manufacturing our own dad dumb problems. Now there's that one. There is, when it comes to actual change, two of the biggest things that I coach that I see. For instance, I say this all the time and I get kickback on it. I don't think America doesn't have a fat loss problem. Most people have lost a significant amount of weight, but they've gained it back. So obviously the loss is not the problem.
Matthew Headden [00:24:24]:
If we're going to go from a physical side of change, we have an identity problem and a consistency problem. Why do we not stay consistent? Because we're never taught to keep our word to ourselves. We're taught to keep our word to other people, but never ourselves. So when you say you're going to do something, why in the heck should you believe it? Because you're never keeping your word to yourself. If you told me we're going to record this podcast and reschedule it on me five times, then the 6th time I'm going to tell you, no, I don't believe you yet. We do that to ourselves all the time. And then wonder why we can't change the second one is identity. And we identify in a lot of our culture, it's become glorified to identify as our traumas.
Matthew Headden [00:25:06]:
These are not badges of honor, but we identify as these things. And so when we can start to change our identity, for example, a lot of people will say, oh, cool, like you're a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. No, I'm not. I'm recovered because our identity is defined by our actions. I don't drink and I don't do those things. And there is no temptation because it's not part of who I am. And so shifting that identity, I do coach that a lot, and you'll see it more and more. But my identity now is that of a beloved child of God who is a strong, happy, healthy, christian man who leaves everybody he finds better than he found them.
Matthew Headden [00:25:45]:
And if it doesn't line up with that, I'm not going to do it. And just to have fun with it for a second, how does eating a Girl scout cookie line up with being that identity? If I'm with the people I love, and I have a Girl scout cookie and it brings me happiness and joy, then that lines up perfectly. But if I feel guilt and shame for it later, that's not happiness and that's not joy. So we need to work on something there.
Colette Brown [00:26:08]:
That's right. And before we started recording you on the vein of health and fitness, you told me a statistic that I just thought, wow, I had to write it down. But you said one in three children in South Carolina will get diabetes before the age of twelve.
Matthew Headden [00:26:25]:
They'll be pre diabetic.
Colette Brown [00:26:26]:
Yes, pre diabetic. And that's amazing, because not only do I think the parents, they're definitely responsible, they don't want to take themselves seriously. They're not holding their children accountable either. And providing an environment to where the kids can thrive and providing them nutritious meals and minimizing sugar intake. And how is your exercise? And what are your extracurricular activities, whether it's art or sports, whatever that is, and it's a big disservice. So I also want to say that parents listen and be mindful, very mindful of what you're doing, because you're teaching your children, too. And this is in all areas of life, because we want to set them up for success, for happiness, for love, for everything. And we do that through leading by example, too.
Colette Brown [00:27:23]:
So if you can't do it for yourself, at least do it for your children.
Matthew Headden [00:27:26]:
100%. Children are master imitators and horrible interpreters. They don't know that you got in an argument with Karen at work today. They don't know that your boss was a jerk and you got to work overtime. And they don't understand all those things. All they know is when mom and dad are tired or when they're hungry, they order doordash. Don't know that the reason you're not exercising is this or this. They just know mom and dad don't do it and they're probably not going to do it either.
Matthew Headden [00:27:51]:
And we love to. I'm very big now because of what I've been through on personal accountability and personal responsibility, and I do hear it a lot from parents. I got to pick my battles. You're meaning to tell me that your child's health is not a battle that you're willing to pick? Shame on you.
Colette Brown [00:28:09]:
Yeah. It's a good way to put it. Yes. Chicken nuggets don't win the battle.
Matthew Headden [00:28:15]:
No. And the thing is an easy way to explain it. We don't want to say, hey, that Oreo is bad, but didn't misbehave like it doesn't need detention. Hey, if we eat this salmon, it has healthy fats that's going to nourish our brain so that it feels better and there's a lot of protein there. So we're going to be big and strong and then we're going to eat these potatoes or these sweet potatoes or whatever because it's going to give us energy. It's going to help our brain function. So we can study better in school and we can play the sports better. And we're going to eat these greens because they're to keep us from getting sick and they're going to make our gut work good and then everything else works good.
Matthew Headden [00:28:49]:
And you know what? Every now and again we're going to have that ICE cream because it tastes good, too, but we're not going to eat it too much because we probably won't feel very good if we do. Nothing's off limits. Nothing's add inherently. There's no moral value with food. Like your salad doesn't care if you ate a french fry, so you're not cheating on your salad, but if you cheat on your spouse, they're probably going to care. So it's just these reframes and saying these things shouldn't be a pressure. They're a privilege. You've been given the honor to raise another human being.
Matthew Headden [00:29:21]:
That's really cool. You've been given the honor of supporting your spouse and giving them a healthy, safe place to like. Those things are privileges in my opinion.
Colette Brown [00:29:31]:
They are. That's beautiful. You have a two week challenge coming up. You also have a YouTube channel that I think people should check out. So why don't you tell us about both?
Matthew Headden [00:29:44]:
So the challenge is just a two week free. It's coming out the 1 April. It is the way I coach. And it's not about working out. It is because here's one thing people need to know. If you want to lose like 30 pounds in 45 days, I'm not your dude. Don't even holler at your boy. Is it possible? Maybe.
Matthew Headden [00:30:02]:
But I am here to help people change their lives. That means everything to me. And what does that look like? It means shifting into a healthy identity. This is what the challenge is focused on. It's just a touch, a two week touch of my coaching to help people. There's not even a sales pitch attached to it. It is to help people with their relationship with food, getting rid of that dogmatic view. It is shifting into a healthy identity because most people think they have to be something before they can identify it.
Matthew Headden [00:30:30]:
You say you're on vacation before you get to Mexico. You say, I'm on vacation the second you clock out. So the second you make that decision to be healthy, let's go ahead and shift. So it's working on those things. I'm actually going to give people the tools to use AI just to write their own workouts and write their own diet plans. I don't care. You don't need me for that. You can google it.
Matthew Headden [00:30:50]:
What people do need help with is they need accountability. They need somebody to believe in them and they need help often implementing those things in their own life. So the challenge is going to work on those different relationships and raising the floor. So many people focus on goals and raising and hitting the ceiling. I'm like, let's raise the floor because you're going to stumble and fall. So when you do, let's make it not as far. And the YouTube channel is a lot of fun. It's so much fun.
Matthew Headden [00:31:16]:
It's ugly. It's not over edited. I'm not paying anybody to do it, but I am so blessed to have some really smart friends and they bless myself and my audience and my friends with their time on Instagram lives and I just download them, save them and upload them to YouTube. There have been incredible conversations with beautiful people like David Waldy talking about identity and family. Dan McDade, who's a lesser known guy talking about leading from the front with family and fitness. Ali Gilbert, who is like one of the foremost experts in testosterone replacement therapy. But we just talk about life. Jeb Stuart Johnson, who is as good as I've ever seen on helping people with emotional it just.
Matthew Headden [00:31:59]:
It's very cool. And I'm very humbled to have some of the biggest names in the health and fitness industry that want to give us their time.
Colette Brown [00:32:06]:
And what's your YouTube channel?
Matthew Headden [00:32:07]:
I'm simple Matthew head and coaching.
Colette Brown [00:32:10]:
H E a d d e n. Matthew heading, coaching. Perfect. And how about your Instagram?
Matthew Headden [00:32:16]:
Simple. Again, I'm a dude. Matthew head.
Colette Brown [00:32:19]:
That's great. I love it. Matthew, it's been a pleasure. One of the questions that I ask all my guests before we end is if this was the last message that you had to broadcast out to the world, what would it be?
Matthew Headden [00:32:33]:
You matter and you're not alone. And in whatever you're struggling with, you're worth changing. Whether you know it right now or not, you're worth changing and the world needs you.
Colette Brown [00:32:43]:
It's a beautiful message. Someone needs to hear that today and you are worth it. And there are people like Matthew, myself, that want to support you and help you in your journey and live your best life. So Matthew, thank you so much. I really appreciate you all you do. Go check him out, please. His posts are sincere, full of content information on helping you to live better, be better. And I know if you're struggling with something, I know Matthew would be there as a resource to either help you or point you in the right direction.
Colette Brown [00:33:23]:
So Matthew, thank you so much for being you, for doing the hard work, for looking inside and making a change. Because now you're changing the lives of so many others. So I really appreciate all you do.
Matthew Headden [00:33:36]:
Thank you so much for your time and having me on and allowing me to hopefully help and reach at least one person. And I'll talk to you soon, my friend.
Colette Brown [00:33:44]:
Beautiful. Thank you. And everyone else, until next time, be well. You just finished another episode of Limitless healing where we dive into all things wellness. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world to me if you would share it with your friends and family. Together we can plant seeds of hope that leads to transformation in our lives and the lives of those we love. Let's get healthy together.