Reddit Story -Is this an awakening, or do I need professional help?

I read and react with feedback on a spiritual awakening story - and I have to say - this hit home a little too hard. LOL

https://www.reddit.com/r/SpiritualAwakening/comments/1v3r8iz/is_this_an_awakening_or_do_i_need_professional/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Everyone, welcome back to my podcast. If you are new here, my name is Barb and you're listening to Spirits, Witches, and Demons. I am pretty excited today because I have a market to go to and I'm going on a little ghost hunt tonight. With uh, if you've been here before, you would have heard them in the studio a few weeks ago. So a haunt mess has invited me, or actually, I invited myself and they just agreed to it um to go on a ghost hunt tonight, and I'm pretty stoked about it. Does anybody actually say that word anymore? Stoked? Anyway, um, I'm not ready to publish the interview I did a few weeks ago with Jennifer. Um, I have the audio ready to publish, but I don't have the video ready yet, and I really want to publish them at the same time. So you guys are going to have to wait at least another week for that, maybe another two, because I am swamped, and that's not a complaint. That is not a complaint at all. I am just like run off my feet between my full-time job, my two companies, a project I have going on, and you guys. Of course, I always want to show up for you guys. Actually, truly, if I'm being honest, I'm actually showing up for myself. And I think that's my main message today is that we have to show up for ourselves. Whether we're uh showing up to the commitments we have, or we're just honoring ourselves in some way. So whether it's resting or working. So I decided today because I didn't really have anything in the chamber to throw at you guys, I would actually bring up Reddit. And the first, very first story that popped up as soon as I put the link into my Google search, um, was a spiritual awakening. And since I've been on my own journey for the last number of years, and you guys have followed along, at least uh in recap and then continually, continually, yeah, that is a word, uh, for the last uh one and a half, two years. Um yeah, it's it's a story I think I really want to dive into. I don't have a lot of time today. I do want to spend at least this amount with you. Um, I'm going to have a sip of coffee that I just about spilled on myself. Oh my god. Yeah, I am hyper today. Okay, so this story comes, it's in the spiritual spiritual awakening subreddit, and it is by Wine About It 89. I wanted to slow it down and say it correctly because you know, I can talk too fast sometimes and miss words. So this person asked a question: Is this an awakening or do I need professional help? And I think we can all relate to that. I know I can. For quite some time after I started having my awakening journey, I honestly thought I needed serious help. So I can absolutely relate. I read this question and I was like, yes, this is definitely the uh article or subreddit or whatever you want to call the Reddit things uh that I want to read to you today, and I want to read for myself. So I'm going to uh pop this up and we're gonna dive straight in. I'm not even gonna put my spirit talker on because, guys, I want full attention on this story. So here we go. Hi everyone! About six months ago, a series of unfortunate events completely turned my world upside down. I won't bore you with the details because if you're reading this, there's a good chance your own journey started a similar way. There's always that initial shock that leads to you leads that leads you to ask, why is this always happening to me? Some people seek the answer in church. I tried that. Um, like many of you. Yep. I decided to look deep within myself, which led me to meditation. Meditation led me to questioning my beliefs, my identity, and my soul's purpose. What some call the dark night of the soul, DNOS for short. Now I feel stuck somewhere in between. I'm not fully asleep, quote unquote, but I don't exactly feel awake, quote unquote. Or through the DNOS either. So they went through the dark night of the soul, the DNOS, and they don't quite feel like awakened yet. Okay. I still have a lot of work to do there. I'm not who I was six months ago, but not quite where I think I should be either. To make matters worse, it's incredibly isolating. I'm trying to explain what I'm experiencing to my friends and family who have never questioned themselves, much less meditated. So when I sorry, so when I talk about what I'm going through, they look at me like I'm completely lost like I've completely lost it. Hey. And to be fair, it kind of seems like I have. I talk about the illusion, quote unquote, we live in. Time being fake, egos being a mask you wear. I say things like, I hear voices, I feel tingles. I talk about how my tolerance and my emotions have increased out of nowhere. But the odd thing is, I feel calm and normal. Well, normal-ish, lol. You know what? Um, what's your name again? Wine about it 89? Have you like tapped into my life? Are you writing about me? Does anybody else feel that way? Like I totally love their writing style, and it's definitely capturing the true awakening kind of like soul journey, spiritual journey kind of feeling, isn't it? Okay, let's continue. When I started this meditation slash self-awareness journey, I didn't go into it blind. I knew it could lead to something spiritual, and I knew I could come out a different person, which is why I started it. Laugh out loud. I I really wanted to read that lol, but is that cringe? I don't know. I don't know. Guys tell me. Like, I'm gonna read it lol from now on. Okay. Lol? I need a change. I just never thought anything like this would ever happen to me. I'm not looking for anyone to stroke my ego here. I realize some of what I'm experiencing could have been spiritual ex could have a spiritual explanation, and some of it could be stress, grief, or something more m medical. I don't know. I'm just hoping to share my experiences and get insights slash advice slash help from people who've traveled this road before me. So without further ado, has anyone experienced unusual body sensations? Question mark. The sensations aren't strong right now, but at their peak, uh it felt like my entire body had restless leg syndrome or was just full of electric current. Not painful, just restless energy. Like a thin layer of pop rockets under my skin. Oh, from head to toe. Yes, I know that feeling. Oh my god, I just got goosebumps. I do know that feeling. This lasted about four days and was accompanied by a slight eur euphoric. Oh, I actually read a big word, guys, a short word, but a big word for me. Euphoric feeling. Nothing overwhelmingly euphoric. Nothing nothing overwhelmingly uh euphoric that I that I couldn't process mentally. No, I read that backwards, guys. This is my dyslexia kidda kicking in. Um nothing overwhelmingly euphoric that I couldn't mentally process, but it was intense at times. Sometimes going outside barefoot, lying under the sky settled it enough to get through the day or night. Other times I had to try different things. Nothing woo-woo ever happened, uh, and no major I just had a scroll, sorry guys, and nothing, uh, and no major spinal sensations, just constant overwhelming internal restlessness, tingles from head to toe for about four days. Normal now, just a slight buzz, mainly at night, and some soreness in my knees, lower back. It's pretty odd. Next question. Has anyone else become unexpectedly, unexpectedly angry or resentful during this process? Question mark. This has honestly been the hardest part. I find myself looking at my friends and family who are genuinely genuinely happy. They have stable careers, happy-ish relationships, homes, complete families, just life, living life and thriving while doing it. Meanwhile, I've always been stuck in survival mode. Pause for a coffee break. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. I do love my coffee. Okay, I've never really thrived or been ahead of the curve a day in my life. Girl, I don't know if you're a girl or a guy, I don't really care. But girl, I am I think that that goes through my head almost on a minute basis. I can't tell you how often I've thought, how the fuck are they doing XYZ and living their best life and doing whatever? And I struggle. I work my ass off. I go through all this. I feel things, I'm connected, I have great things in my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for everything I have and have accomplished, but yet it still feels like I'm stuck. I get you. I get you, you're not crazy. Um, logically, I know uh comparison isn't healthy for mind, body, or soul, but lately I catch myself wondering why people who've never questioned themselves or been through hard things seem to be thriving. Well, everything in my life feels like a con like it's constantly falling apart. It makes me really angry, and I don't like that feeling. Has anyone else experienced this kind of anger, resentment, sadness? And more importantly, how did you move through it? It's it's a struggle, honestly, because yeah, sometimes I look at somebody and I feel like jealous and envious of what they have versus what I don't, especially when it comes to families. Um, I love my family. Please don't get me wrong on that. I do love my family and I'm grateful for every fucking soul of them. And then I look, but has anybody ever watched, you know, the cheesy Christmas Hallmark movies or the like the love movies? I do. I thrive on those. Like they are my they are my guilty pleasure. Because truly I'm a spooky girl at heart. You'd think I'd be watching horror flicks. No, I'm here watching Hallmark shit. But I watch it because deep down I'm like, I'm so envious of those characters. And then I see, say, eight, just a general Joe or Jane walking about having their best life, holding hands. It could be an older couple, it could be a brand new teenage couple, it doesn't matter. But I see it and I'm like, oh, why? Why like I'm getting emotional right now? Like, why do those people have all that? And I can't. So I get you, I get you. Comparison sucks, it happens, but how do I move through it? Well, I realize all the things I do have. That's number one. I am grateful for everything I do have in my life, and then I think if I was meant to have all of that, if I was meant to go through that, I would have. And I truly put my faith in the universe and my soul's journey. And that is a hard thing to do. But I, as emotional as it's making me just talking about it, I'm still grateful for the journey I'm on. Does that make sense? And I hope if you're ever listening to this, uh, the person that wrote this article or this Reddit post, I hope that makes sense to you. Because there are things in life that, of course, it's fair, it's honest, and it's validating to feel that envious feeling, to be angry at universe for putting you on a path or your soul choosing this path that you're on, because it's hard. It's absolutely fucking hard to do that, but you have to do it sometimes. Um, there are, let's see, one, two, three, three more questions to be asked. So let's go through them quickly because I really have to go, guys. Okay, has anyone else lost interest in things they used to love? To an extent extent, I knew this would happen, but not to this extreme. Music doesn't always hit me the way it used to. Oh, my music genre completely flipped its ass. I still love everything from classical to heavy metal, but I'm more in my heavy metal era, right? Where I was in my pop cut country era 10 years ago. So yes, you go through that. Absolutely. The books I used to devour now feel shallow and hard to get through. I don't have the inner motivation to work the nine to five. Oh god, you're hitting the nails on the head. I don't know if I can get through this post. I used to love going to the gym. Now working out doesn't seem worth it anymore. Oh, that one sucks because working out, I I do enjoy going to the gym. I used to be a social butterfly and now I'd rather sit at home. Oh, that's your inner that that's the dark night of the soul hitting you hard. Yeah. It's like my spark completely gone. Is this normal? Did your spark come back? Does living a quote unquote normal life ever stop ever life ever stop feeling draining and pointless? Yes, it does stop feeling like that. Yes, it does. Um, anybody else going through that? I promise you, it does. Your life does change. You do go through eras and periods and all those kinds of bullshit, but it does get better. That darkness does recede. You find a new spark, you find something that you're newly passionate about, and that rejoices you. How do you tell the difference between intuition and your own thoughts? Some of the biggest lessons of my Dark Knight of the Soul journey have actually come through parenting my strong-willed daughter. Oh, that's why I didn't have children. But I also think I'm on my last life, so another reason why I don't think I have children. Uh she's constantly reflecting, and my god, my child would be strong-willed. I don't know if I can handle her. I uh I'm pretty much a handful myself. Anyway, uh, she's constantly reflecting back so many of my own unhealthy patterns, my impatience, my need to control, my triggers, my sass. That's what I'm afraid of for myself, my sass. Uh the list goes on uh for uh goes on for a day, lol. For me uh to face my the process face and process during one meditation after one of our struggles. I had an overwhelming inner knowing that simply said, She's your lesson, you are not hers. It wasn't some angelic voice from the heavens or anything, woo-woo. I love how she says it wasn't woo-woo. It was fucking woo-woo. Own it. It was just my own voice. My knowing, if that makes sense. Yeah, it makes sense. It wasn't your ego though. It does come through your own voice. A similar thing happened when I was looking at my for my lost phone. I searched almost the whole house, and the same inner voice said, look in the car. So I did, but the phone wasn't there. The internal voice comes through a a lot, and um, it has given me mixed signals, and it's frustrating. How do you personally tell the difference between real intuition guidance and your inner voice thoughts? Well, ego is one thing. Yes, it's hard to decipher at the beginning, but you do learn the trick and of the trade, so to speak, on how to decipher your inner thoughts and your ego to actual intuition and guidance. It's hard. Sometimes you have to ask the yes-no uh sway test to see if it's true. Um, but I digress. You know what, guys? I'm gonna pause it here and I will pick it up this afternoon when I come back, but I really do have to run. So you'll hear me in a millisecond, but I am going to stop the recording right now and pick it up when I come back. Wish me luck. Hey everyone, I am back. Oh, it was a market of a market. Um, you win some, you lose some. And today's market was a lose some, but nah, it happens and I'm okay with that because I had a fun time. I carried a lot of stuff in uh nearly 30 degree Celsius weather, which is I think that's like 80 or something like that. It was fucking hot, okay? That's all I can tell you. Um, very little people showed up, and again, I'm okay with that. I had a wonderful time, and I'm just gonna take that as a win. Money-wise, not a win. Anyway, that's not the most important thing of every day. Most days, but not every day. Let's get back to this story because I've been thinking about it since like since I left you. And I really want to dive into the last few questions, or is it the last question? I think it's the last question. Okay, let's dive back in. When we left off, we were talking about the um difference between intuition and your own thoughts. I had my own thoughts on that, and um now we're getting into a bigger question, I think. Shorter answers, shorter um thought process on the question, but I think it's a pretty big one because I've thought about this myself as well. Does alcohol or THC affect how you affect you differently now? So for me, I am not a big drinker, nor do I partake in THC very often. Have I? Yes. Have I been a big drinker at times? But what I think, let me just think of it logically. Logically, these two things lower your inhibitions, they alter your state of um sobriety. So of course, they may alter how you perceive things in both a negative and positive way. I think, um, I think, yes, I think they would affect you. Okay, and yes, I think they would affect you differently once you go through the spiritual awakening. Now, the OP's kind of caveat on this question is I used to enjoy a glass of wine or an occasional low-dose THC gummy uh slash drink to relax. Now alcohol barely affects me, and THC has almost completely flipped on me. Instead of relaxing me, it makes me anxious, overstimulated, and sometimes over uh extra elevated euphoric. And it intensifies the buzz feeling that I explained earlier. This tolerance shift wasn't gradual either. It feels like it happened overnight. Is my body rejecting these substances? Gosh, I hope not, lol. Now, they also go on to say, I know everyone experiences awakenings a bit differently, and that may or may not be what I'm going through now. I guess what I'm really asking is, are these things normal-ish for people on this journey? Or should I get professional help? Physical, mental, or maybe both lol. I don't have any underlying health or mental issues myself, but my child's father does. So I'm not a stranger to the signs and symptoms of certain mental health conditions. However, I believe what I'm going through is more spiritual than quote unquote, I need a hospital. That said, I'm not attached to any one explanation. So feel free to be open and honest here. Or if you can't relate to any of this, feel free to share a piece of your own awakening journey. Thanks for taking the time to read all of this. I know it was long, and I really appreciate anyone willing to answer my questions andor share their perspective. I'm sure I'm not the only one who will benefit from the insight. Insight. XOXO wine about it 89. Uptick. Thank you for that um question. Uh and questions. Okay. This is an amazing insight uh into their own journey. First of all, that last question, yeah, it definitely affects you differently. Before I went through my journey, now I was, if you've been here long enough, you know I had like periods of like connection when I was a child, then I blocked it, and then connection again, and then I blocked it, and blah blah blah. So I haven't had a full absolute like connection and opening and awakening until I was just a few years ago, until I was in my 40s. So that being said, when I would partake in drinking alcohol socially, of course, or um DHC substance, so whether it was like hash or marijuana, and here in Canada, marijuana is legal. So I don't know where you guys are, but here it's absolutely legal to go to the local liquor store and buy marijuana or a local dispensary that's legalized. Anyway, that being said, prior to my awakening, it did hit differently. A, I wanted to partake. I wanted to say, oh my god, you know what? It's been a fucking long week. Let's kick back, let's enjoy some beer, let's enjoy some rum, let's and let's enjoy some music and dancing and drinking, or play some card games while having some drinks. That was a common occurrence, not like every single week, but it was common. And then I went through my awakening. And to be fair, I've had rum in my fridge, right behind me, rum in my fridge for well over two years. Haven't touched it. I have champagne, that's right, champagne in my fridge, behind me, that's been there since I bought this house four years ago. It's just, it's not something I think of or go to. Now, I will be quite, quite honest with you. In my experience, it is because I work a lot. Um I drive for a living. So one of my one of my jobs, one of my companies is a tour operator, so I'm behind the wheel quite often. So I don't tend to drink because it would affect my livelihood if I had, you know, an incident and I wouldn't because it's just not me. But I'm just saying it plays on my brain. Now the THC, I found it really doesn't affect me very much. Like instead of getting anxious like the OP, I do get relaxed and I do get I still get giddy. Like I've always gotten that giddy feeling when I um would take marijuana, but I don't really look to do it. And maybe it's because of the spiritual awakening, it could be because I'm fucking busy. I I'll be fair. It could be that. But when I want to be that person, like I'm jealous of those people that can do it, relax, chill, and read cards. That would be lovely to be able to relax and calm down. My ADHD would love that. But it's just not me. Does that make sense? And it was me before my awakening. So I'm wondering now that I read that question, now that I heard their their kind of backstory to why they asked that question, I'm wondering to myself, is it part of the journey? Is it part of the awakening? Do any of you have the same experiences as I and the OP? It's really a question I'm willing to, like they said, hear out the answer to because it is an individual journey. And it may be the same for all of us, or it may be different for every single one of us. So I'm interested to know the answer. Now I'm personally going to leave a comment, join the conversation. I've never done this. I don't usually comment on Reddit. I'm a little nervous. What's my handle on here? What's my name? Oh, I don't even know my name. Expedition Paranormal. My god, that's funny. So if anybody wants to look me up, I have no followers. I have one karma point or some one karma, I don't even know what the fuck that is. But I've been it on Reddit for four years. I literally have no comments, I've no contributions. Literally, guys, I don't contribute. I don't I read this stuff, but I don't add anything in. So for me to go and add something in, this is huge for me. Okay, so dear OP, what are we gonna say? Oh, I'm uh I'm a little nervous. What are we gonna say? Okay. Oh, hold on, guys, hold on. I'm gonna type and I'll be right. All right, okay. I have done it and I pressed enter and I dropped it in. Oh my goodness, I'm so nervous. Okay, so here's what I said. I'll I'm gonna link this uh story in the show notes. If you want to go read it yourself, uh, feel free. But what I said was, dear OP, everything you asked and noted to be going through via your spiritual awakening is valid. There are moments I cried reading your entry because it felt as though you were speaking directly to me and for me. You are not crazy. You are perfectly spiritually connected and going through a beautiful awakening. The last question, I had to think about this one. Yes, you are right. I too did feel different about alcohol and THC after my awakening. But if you want more of my advice and reaction to your post, only if you want, I read this on my podcast and gave my honest, real-time while reading feedback. Take care, spirits, witches, and demons. So I'm going to post this tonight, guys, and oh my goodness, I wish this person the best. Um, I know for myself I'm still going through it. I'm always going through it, aren't we? All so if you guys have any advice for the OP or for me, uh for each other, please leave it uh in the comments wherever you're listening to the podcast. And please like this podcast, share it, and please, please, please, I'm begging you. Oh, I'm begging you. I just had a song pop in my head. What was that song? Oh my goodness, it's gonna drive me nuts now. Oh goodness, it's gonna drive me nuts. Anyway, um, go follow me on all my socials. TikTok. Um, oh my goodness, where am I? Instagram, Facebook. You know what? I think I need a nap and something to eat. It's been one hell of a long fucking week, guys. Until next week, you know what? I really want you guys to take care.