Ask A Cop
Ask A Cop is live and unscripted. Each episode gives other officers and the community a window into a police officer's world and provides authentic community engagement with law enforcement professionals.Listeners can relate by asking questions, hearing some of their own struggles, and finding solutions. Despite preconceived notions, these men and women, who serve and protect, are approachable and eager to answer questions. This resource provides meaningful engagement for officers, their families, and the community. As chaplains, we have witnessed the immeasurable rewards of simply sitting down and having these positive conversations. Produced in partnership with Gods Way Radio.
Ask A Cop
027: How Police Pursuits led to Post Traumatic Growth? Tico Guas (City of Miami Police Department)
When facing a situation when every decision could be life or death, retired Sergeant Tico "Orestes" Guas from the City of Miami Police Department knows firsthand the courage required to get through. Join us as Tico recounts his thrilling career, from following in his father's law enforcement footsteps to high-stakes undercover operations and gripping gang unit assignments. Hear the detailed story of a heart-stopping car chase that ended in a dramatic canine-assisted capture, exemplifying the courage and quick thinking essential in police work.
Tico takes us inside the emotional and challenging world of a K9 officer, sharing a particularly harrowing moment when his wife watched a live broadcast of a dangerous incident involving him and his dog. His personal journey as a father to a son with high-functioning autism and a daughter who fought cancer is nothing short of inspiring. Learn how his son, Julian's bravery in teaching about autism has influenced Tico to be more open and candid. This episode also dives into Tico's decade-long battle with alcoholism and the transformative experiences that saved his family and himself. With themes of resilience, gratitude, and the power of supportive communities, Tico's story offers valuable insights into personal growth and maintaining a positive outlook amidst life's challenges.
you're listening to ask a cop podcast, a time where communities and cops connect. These conversations are recorded live, so stay tuned after the podcast so you can learn where to submit your own questions and to learn how you can support us.
Speaker 2:For now, though, get ready to ask a cop so I have to get some uh some housekeeping out of the way. First, if you're listening on the podcast, thank you for your patience. This is only going to take a minute or two. This is God's Way Radio. We are usually on 104.7 FM, but we're having incredible technical problems today. So if you're listening live to the live premiere of Ask a Cop on November the 7th and you're listening on the app, you're listening online.
Speaker 2:Please don't take it for granted that there might be other people trying to listen and they don't know that the FM is not working. So if you're listening again on the app or on the website to the live premiere of Ask a Cop November 7th, please take a second to reach out text someone, remind someone hey, they're having tech problems. Fm is offline right now. No FM broadcast, it's only the app and the website. And remember that this is going to end up on the Ask a Cop podcast as well. So if anyone does miss it, you can help them to connect there, you can get them the episode, you can show them how to subscribe and how to hear it.
Speaker 2:All right, housekeeping out of the way. I'm so thankful that we have tico here with us, or estes guas, retired sergeant, my friend, good to have you, thank you, thank you, thank you, appreciate it, good to have you here. So you retired may of this year. This is, uh, we're recording this in november, so that's six months, six months ago. Wow, in a way that's very recent, but it's also six months is a long time, in a way.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's been great. I'm not going to lie. It's been a great adventure since I left the department. Learning to do different things and focusing on new and different things has been a great part.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm excited to hear about some of that. And again, if people really know, if they're super fans of Ask a Cop, if they know what Adrian's up to, if they know about something called Struggle, well then they might know what you're talking about. But we're going to get to that. We're going to get to that. We definitely don't want to hide it. That was just a little humor there. Uh, I want to hear a little bit about your career, about, uh, your time in the city of miami police department. Is that where you started?
Speaker 3:your career. Yeah, yeah, I'm a second generation city of miami officer. My dad retired back in 1995. Same day I retired may 26 uh of this year. My dad retired may 26 of and it's also my mom's birthday.
Speaker 2:That is very special, very cool.
Speaker 3:I had a great career. I can't complain. My career was great. I did undercover jump out on midnights in downtown Beats. I worked in Overtown.
Speaker 2:Wait, wait, that sounds like a movie Undercover. Jump out. What does?
Speaker 3:that mean Used to ride around in a black van just me and my partner and we were pretty much the boogeymen on midnights when the massive burglaries were happening in downtown. We were the cleanup crew. Wow, did that. For about four years I was in the gang unit, I was an assaults detective, I was a canine sergeant, patrol sergeant, pretty much. Pretty much my last seven years I was on the road as a patrol sergeant.
Speaker 2:Wow, wow, that's amazing. Again, if you're listening live, you can call us, you can text us at 786-313-3155. Remember that phone number to call or text is 786-313-3155. And today it's more important than ever that you call or text, because we do have that limited capacity with some of the technical issues. So if you're hearing us, it means you're a special, chosen person today, so you want to call or text 786-313-3115. When I asked you about your career, there was something that stuck out. You said oh, that chase, that canine chase, that national international case. Tell us, the story Sounds incredible.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so we were contacted. One of my guys and I were contacted by I believe it was Broward Sheriff's Office that they were looking for a guy that had stabbed his girlfriend 31 times. So we were asked to be a perimeter support on this and a couple of the Overtown units were helping them and the guy ended up escaping the perimeter that they had set and we got into a huge car chase. It was a long car chase about 31 minutes. I was a lead vehicle for a very long time in that. We ended up somewhere up north north Miami somewhere where he goes behind a building into an alleyway and crashes into a wall. Everybody rushes the car. I had my dog ready at the time. I was the only canine handler because my officer had crashed during the chase I had no idea there was another canine officer working off duty.
Speaker 3:Um, the guy exits his car, jumps back in his car. I was gonna put my dog in through the passenger door, thinking he was going for a weapon, and I'd rather sacrifice the dog than a person. So when I, uh I went to put my dog in the car, he threw the car in reverse. The passenger door was open, uh, so he almost pinned me in between, uh, his car and another car. My dog jumps in the air. I catch him. Then he, uh he backs into a another police car and at that point I made the decision to release my dog. I released my dog into the car. My dog apprehended him, ripped him out the driver's seat and at the same time, my buddy's dog comes and bites my dog. I released my dog into the car. My dog apprehended him, ripped him out the driver's seat and at the same time, my buddy's dog comes and bites my dog while he's biting the offender.
Speaker 2:And now that is an incredible story. Now is that dog biting the dog? Was that a mistake? Was the dog thinking the dog was an offender?
Speaker 3:Definitely a mistake. Okay, definitely a mistake.
Speaker 2:So that dog was probably going for the offender. He thought, yeah, but basically my dog was an offender. Definitely a mistake.
Speaker 3:Okay, definitely a mistake, so that dog was probably going for the offender. He thought, yeah, but basically my dog was already attached on him, so he went after my dog.
Speaker 2:Interesting, interesting, wow, so did both dogs make it okay?
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, they were fine, awesome, everybody was fine.
Speaker 2:And you got the bad guy.
Speaker 3:Oh, we got the bad guy.
Speaker 2:Man, that is incredible. Now, is there any other reason why it got so big or so much notoriety? Was it just kind of a?
Speaker 3:crazy story? Well, because it was used as an example of what not to do.
Speaker 4:Oh, wow.
Speaker 2:Ask a cop.
Speaker 4:I'll be honest.
Speaker 3:you know it was used as an example of what not to do, and yes, I did put myself in harm's way. What not to do, and yes, I did put myself in harm's way, but at that point, at that moment, I had to make a split second decision and I decided to risk myself and my dog over risking anybody else. Wow, you know, it was a call that I made and I stick by it. You know, I'm willing to sacrifice myself so nobody else would have to.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you know there's one thing, absolutely this. You know there's one thing absolutely this is just a side note. Yes, if you're a dog owner, you might not know this if a dog bites someone I learned this from, uh, from sergeant guas if a dog is biting and not releasing, the way you uh release the dog is by choking the dog out, and that's how the dog will release, not by pulling or asking it or beating it.
Speaker 2:what what if you offered like a cookie?
Speaker 4:You offered a cookie.
Speaker 3:Well, now there's new methods that they actually have a tongue depressor.
Speaker 2:Interesting.
Speaker 3:That they use a tongue depressor and the dog will release. If you don't have that, though, I did learn.
Speaker 4:We didn't have that back then. I'm glad I learned On the street. If I see anything ever happening.
Speaker 3:Yes, Well, I taught you the the old school way, right in case it ever happens. You know, you know how to get a dog off of you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely want to uh, uh, uh, run that by the uh, by your, your people. So, uh, uh, definitely, uh, uh, good, uh, last case scenario advice there, little knowledge from back in the day. Hey, we got a text. Thank you so much. For those of you that are reaching out again knowing that we're having technical difficulties again, it's just that live premiere going to be on the podcast later. Element what makes ask a cop so special it's birthed in god's way radio, you know, even as we we have our guests, we could zoom in, we could offer them coffee. Hopefully, uh, uh, tico is gonna get some coffee here. I'm giving him a chance to put his, his sugars, whatever black coffee where. So I'm giving these guys a chance to get their coffee. Uh, while I thank you, while I remind you that, uh, you know, ask a cop, it's, it is birthed in live radio, it's heart is in live radio and now we have the podcast as well. So that's why you're going to hear sometimes you're listening on the podcast, you're going man, they keep talking about the thing, the transmitter, man.
Speaker 2:This was recorded live. It's a really, really cool part of Ask a Cop. If you want to call or text 786-313-3115. So I just want to read it. I think Tico saw it, but she says one of our listeners, I'm listening and thankful to you and your dog. I love that. You know it's so sweet. I know actually my kids. You know different school events, different people. We know they've gotten to meet canines and they had to learn. You know they're just not a little puppy dog. You have to wait. Wait for the officer. They'll tell you what to do, but it's a special thing. I mean, what else can you tell us before we move on, tico?
Speaker 3:yeah, man, on that particular day, the hardest part of that is my wife was watching it live on TV. Oh Right, right, I get emotional thinking about it, because your family knows or think they have an idea of what it is that you do, but when it's you on live TV and they're watching, it's a completely different perspective, right, wow. And at one point, with the helicopter view, and they're watching, it's a completely different perspective, right. And at one point, with the helicopter view, the helicopter went over a tree and she lost sight of me and the next thing she sees was my dog, me over my dog, on the floor and I was putting water on him because he had overheated and she thought it was blood because from up there. So she thought the dog had been killed in this, you know. So make no mistake, I think the uh, the families suffer more than we do.
Speaker 4:Yeah, right, especially in a situation like that we recently had a dog passing in the city and it was and I know it because I've heard things like that where the family gets attached to this.
Speaker 2:You know, remember, the dog goes home with the handler, lives with the handler yeah, um, I mean, I don't know, I don't know if it's the right way, but like when I, when we're with the kids, I say, oh, the officer dog and the officer, you know like I refer to them as an officer, he's an officer the same.
Speaker 3:Um, well, you know he, he is a work tool, and that day I decided to sacrifice him and myself to, really for the sake of other officers, right?
Speaker 3:and to catch this, this, this bad guy. Um, but they are part of your family too, yeah, um, when, when I left the canine unit, that, uh, I retired him and I got to keep him. I actually, my son is autistic, he's hyphensizing autistic and we made Buster Julian's service dog, wow. So we took him everywhere we went, you know, and the bond that he had with my family is incredible, although when it was time for work, if I was was in the police car, they couldn't get near me because he would do, he would do anything to protect me, uh. But once I let him out of the car and let him know that it was okay, then he was okay with my family, but other than that, nobody could really get near me wow, wow, uh, adrian did, did you finish your thought?
Speaker 4:Just I saw as this dog died. I saw the attachment to the spouse of the handler and it was. It was as real as you can get you know, and raw in a sense. So it's not just when you're in canine oh, that obviously was a doggy, but but it's. Yeah, there's a risk factor. You know, you don't see it till you're on national news, and now their families, but then at the same time that dog goes home, and so there was just a lot of dynamics to those in canine.
Speaker 3:And the other dynamic to that is remember that canine officer puts his life on the nose of a dog every day. Officer puts his life on the nose of a dog every day because when it's not safe for anyone to go out there and search for somebody, we get called and you don't have a gun in your hand. You have a dog in one hand and a flashlight in the other and you're going from backyard to backyard. You know putting your life on the nose of a dog and when your dog gets on odor and he starts pulling, at the end of the day the SWAT guys are 20-30 feet behind you because that dog is going to eat anybody that comes near you and it's just you and a dog you know and nobody can come near until you tell them they can come near yeah you know.
Speaker 3:So that dog becomes a huge extension of the handler and he is a huge sense of security for us, to the point where, when I left canine, I uh, I left canine and and it took me easily about a month to a month and a half to gain my, my self-confidence back, not having that immediate backup behind me wow, he, he saw the text coming in.
Speaker 2:He saw the text coming in. So we got a text here I'm gonna read. Read it as it's written now. Now, tico, you know and I don't know. I don't know what they're talking about. You know, this is a on the christian radio station. I don't know, I don't know the joke here they said is tico still playing with the genos genus genus?
Speaker 3:I don't know what joke that. So, man, uh, whoever that is knows me very, very well. That's crazy. I used to, I I was a, I was a dealer for gino boats. I'm I'm a certified marine electrician now, uh, certified man, we have a lot to talk about, wow and uh, I used to build uh custom ginos for myself and I would build boats, uh that like I would.
Speaker 3:Whatever I imagined in my head yeah I would build the boat and then I would run it for a while and then I would put them for sale, sell it and get another one I built. I think it was 23 or 24 Guinus in a matter of three.
Speaker 2:And what's a Guinu? Is it a?
Speaker 3:canoe. It's a canoe but it's bigger. It's not a canoe. It's shaped like a canoe but it's a bigger version of it a 15-foot boat. But it's a bigger uh version of it a 15 foot uh boat but it's meant to fish in skinny water.
Speaker 2:That's it right there. Interesting, adrian just pulled it up for us here. It looks like a little like almost like a little jump boat or something.
Speaker 3:I I fished a lot on those boats in flamingo and I built a ton of them and I've built them for friends. Uh, that's how I start, believe it or not. That was probably when I really got deep into rigging boats and all that doing that.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:And from there I went on to aluminum boats and I've had. I'm on my 54th boat now.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 4:I was going to ask take a guess real quick at how many boats.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we have a prize. No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3:My wife says those are my mistresses. She doesn't have to worry about anything except me coming home with another boat.
Speaker 2:That's funny, you know, and we're going to get into some really heavy stuff. We're going to get into some different topics here that you have insight on, and we have a very special text waiting as well. But you know, man the laughter, you know? Oh, she doesn't have to worry. Now again, please correct me if I'm wrong with this statement. Tico man, for a while aside, she did have to worry. You know, there was a season in your life where there was heavy stuff going on. We're gonna get to that. We want it. We want to see how god got you through it, how there was resources provided to you to get you through it, how your family is now blessed. I mean, we want to get to that. Uh, speaking of, we had another beautiful text, adrian, I want to let you read this one. Was it was a wonderful text, special?
Speaker 4:so the text came in and said uh, I don't know if you know who it's from, but it says hi dad, it's maddie, oh wait she said it, so we can say it what was your biggest career achievement as an officer? And then also this is coming from maddie I love you.
Speaker 3:she, she says Wow, I know what it is.
Speaker 3:I'd have to say it's when.
Speaker 3:So my son is high-functioning autistic and he was teaching the autism portion of the CIT program with a friend of ours who was the director of the Autism Society of Miami-Dade and she retired and she told him that he needed to find someone else to teach this with him and he picked me.
Speaker 3:I don't know why he picked me, but it was definitely a huge turning point in my career watching him open up to really any police officer it didn't matter what department it was, wherever we were teaching and opening himself up like a book and just telling people ask me whatever's on your mind. And he is part of the reason that I'm able to open up the way that I am now today, because if he had that bravery at the time, at 15 years old, to do that, why am I not able to do it? So that's why, well, adrian knows, when we do our thing together, I'm an open book and you can ask me anything. Just be careful, because I don't sugarcoat stuff and I'm going to give it to you straight and to the point. I can't sugarcoat stuff. I just don't know how my brain doesn't function that way. But that has to be the highest point of my career.
Speaker 2:Man, so, so awesome. If you just tuned in, we have a good amount of time left. You can call, you can text 786-313-3115. We're here with Tico, a retired sergeant from the City of Miami Police Department, also a not retired boat builder, also a teacher, continuing to add to his credential. I mean so much to talk about with this gentleman's life. Great, great insights into so much. How long have you been teaching the class now with your son?
Speaker 3:Well, we started. Julian was 15, he's 22, so about six years, seven years, and we still do it. That's awesome, you know, whenever he can, whenever his his work and school schedule allows, uh, we still do it and uh, we actually uh just taught in the county last month awesome, awesome.
Speaker 2:and your son, I mean, uh, incredible, incredible. You mentioned high-functioning autism. You said he's getting a degree.
Speaker 3:You told me yeah, he's got his two-year degree, he's got his AA and now he's going for his bachelor's in accounting.
Speaker 2:Accounting awesome and teaching the classes, I mean great, but you also have a daughter who also has an incredible story.
Speaker 3:Yes, she does, who you also treasure.
Speaker 2:Tell us a little bit about your daughter.
Speaker 3:So in 2003, august of 2003, my son was diagnosed high-functioning autistic. He was two years old. September of 2003, my daughter was six months old and she was diagnosed with cancer, with neuroblastoma.
Speaker 2:One month apart.
Speaker 3:One month apart to the day they were, they were diagnosed man. Probably one of the hardest times of my life, my dad and my mom you know everybody would tell us. You know, god doesn't give you more than what you can handle. That guy was holding me underwater, breathing through one nostril with a straw. That's what it felt like. You know, my wife and I, luckily, we made it through everything. Because, you know, my wife and I, luckily we made it through everything. Because, you know, things like that, those huge, huge things that happen in your life, can make you or break you, and it made us. You know, we made it. We made it. We're still together and thank you for her. You know she's, she's really what keeps us all together. And you know, I'm very proud of my kids and I'm proud to say that I'm an autism dad and a cancer dad, and I wear it on my sleeve.
Speaker 3:I have a tattoo with the autism symbol for him and the childhood cancer ribbon for her.
Speaker 2:Did you come up with that design?
Speaker 3:I designed that.
Speaker 2:That's amazing.
Speaker 3:Funny thing is, I was a commercial art major.
Speaker 2:What else have you not told me yeah?
Speaker 3:man, I studied commercial art.
Speaker 1:I'd never finished college.
Speaker 3:Because of three math classes I couldn't pass math, but I can draw, so I designed the tattoo myself. Wow, you know.
Speaker 2:And and you juggle no no.
Speaker 4:Not yet, not yet, not yet. He juggled a son with autism, a daughter, while going through the police academy and still keeping his marriage. So that's a juggle, that.
Speaker 2:You were in the academy at the time.
Speaker 3:No, I was in the process for the police department when they got diagnosed. And while I was in the police academy, maddie was having one of her last surgeries to remove her port and that was the day that we were taking the practice state test and I had to choose whether to be at the hospital with them or take this test. And my wife and I spoke about it. She told me babe, go do the test because we need that job, you know so I went and then God bless my TAs.
Speaker 3:You know Jacobson and Starks would stop us. You know, give me a phone and say hey, call your wife. So the whole class would stop. I go outside, call my wife, get a thumbs up, give everybody a thumbs up and then we'd start taking the test again.
Speaker 2:I've been through a lot, man you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean what I was that's just.
Speaker 3:That's just yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, we're gonna get into we're gonna get into man again, how low a person can sink and how far you can come, how there's always hope, man, how you know, Adrian, maybe we'll take a little break here. I don't know if you want to play one of the spots, but I have a lot of different thoughts racing through my mind. How you can be. I don't want to give it away. I want to leave people with something to savor how you can be a functioning fill in the blank and still put on a front, still do your job, still be a doctor, police, lawyer, whatever it is. And under the surface is chaos. Again, you're going to tell me if that's the correct word or not. You're going to tell us your story, but we're going to get to that. But what stuck out to me from that little moment that you described is man, just compassion, care. I mean, how far does that go? That little story of hey, let's stop the test. We're a team here, we're going to let him get a break.
Speaker 3:We're going to let you speak into that. How far does that go? That's huge, that's monumental, especially for a family going through that. Let's be honest Everybody prays for you. Know, when you find out you're pregnant, everybody tells you oh, all you want is a happy, healthy child, Right? Yeah, well, my kids were born happy, healthy. Life happens. You know, like one of my doctors's uh, doctors told us we make plans and god laughs right, we can plan everything we want, but our destiny is going to be completely up to somebody else you know if you believe in your higher being, and, uh, I'll never forget that, that saying you know, and um, that's really how, how we got through everything.
Speaker 3:You know, we just believed that it was what was meant to come our way, but that it's not easy. It's not easy, man. We had a lot of hard times, a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so guys, stick around. If you're waiting to text or call and all you're waiting for is the phone number, I'm going to give it to you now. I'm going to give it to you when we come back from a quick break. It's 786-313-3115. Stay tuned, because we're going to talk about how it can look all good on the outside and be so dark on the inside. Oh, we missed the break there. It's all right, we are back. Uh, okay, so let's just get into it. Let's do it. There was a tough season in your life, in your career, and you got out of it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so in 2010 I got into a fight with a guy that was wanted for murder. Um, in that fight, luckily at the time I was uh, I was practicing mixed martial arts and, uh, I was in great shape at the time. I still am very confident in my fighting ability and when I tackled him the second time in the foot chase, I landed on my left knee. He landed on my knee, he crushed my knee. My radio fell out of my gun belt about six to eight feet from me. I sprung to my knees before he did. When he brought his head up, I got him in a front choke and I cinched the choke into the sleeve of my shirt. With my left hand and my legs I pulled him to where my radio was. When I finally get on the radio and I start screaming, he had a long thumbnail. The whole time he was punching me. He was trying to get my gun out of my holster. He stuck his thumbnail through my eyelid into my right eye.
Speaker 3:I was blind from my right eye for three months. They had to shave my bones, drill my bones. They shaved half my kneecap off. I've had I think it's six surgeries on my left leg, six surgeries on my left leg, um, and then I sat home for nine months, you know, and realistically, nobody knows how to help you Right, um, and that's where the uh, the alcoholism started I can pinpoint it, you know to that. And, uh, I was drowning my sorrows in a, uh, in a bottle, you know, and uh, it lasted for a very, very long time and I masked it, masked it, nobody, nobody knew that I was a functioning alcoholic within the police department.
Speaker 2:How long would you say 10 years? Easily 10 years wow, wow and um. How did that so? You said nobody knew in the police department. How did it affect your family?
Speaker 3:well it was. It was huge, man. You know it's bad when the only person in your house is your 15-year-old daughter and you get home from work. So I had a routine and when I would walk in the door, if I would walk in the garage door and say something to somebody, they knew I had an okay day or a good day. But if I came in the door and I turned left and I didn't say anything to anybody and I went straight to my room, by the time I got out, um, there was a cup of whiskey poured for me already, you know and I would drown my sorrows and pass out on a couch wow, wow, just uh.
Speaker 4:Yeah, no, there was the mention of the garage door. That garage door has changed completely it no longer is the place where you walk through and see is he gonna say a word or not, right? So there's a. There's a story behind the garage door which I'm sure we'll get.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, let's hear it now. What's the garage door? So well, we have to get into something else. Okay, okay right.
Speaker 3:So, uh, two and a half years ago, uh, believe it or not, I was one of the the sergeants of peer support right and I'm during this time, oh yeah of alcoholism right, and I'm trying to help.
Speaker 3:I'm helping other officers take care of their problems, while I couldn't take care of my own right. And uh, I get sent, I get forced into a class called struggle well and I was the first class of struggle well with a bunch of other officers from the department and uh, it was multi-agency that class. And the second day of that class they recognized how, how messed up I was. And uh, they approached me and they offered uh, they offered me a program called warrior path. Uh, so Warrior Path is really meant for veterans, it's not meant for first responders. Yeah, but they made an exception for me.
Speaker 2:I mean you did get a fingernail through your eye.
Speaker 3:Yeah, right, so they made the exception for me. I come home and I tell my wife about it, so she tells me apply.
Speaker 4:Yes, I said all right, please.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so we had. Uh, it just so happens the next long weekend was coming up and we had planned to go down to the keys with, with, with our friends right on your goonie no, no, no, we were going on on my buddy's boat.
Speaker 3:Gino, sorry gino. Yeah, we're going on my buddy's boat and, uh, we're, they're, they're. They've been our friends forever, they're family. They're not friends, they're family. So we go out there and we were supposed to leave that weekend and they call me that Monday. They said, hey, listen, we have a spot for you. You can fly out Friday. I said, man, I don't think that's a possibility because I already have a long weekend booked. So my wife says no, you're going, you're going. So my wife says no, you're going, you're going. So my wife put me on the plane and I spent a week in the desert in Arizona working on myself and getting through all my uh, my baggage right, that I had never dealt with, um, and it's a lot, right, it was a lot. You're talking at that time, probably like 17 years in the, what I do, you know, and uh, struggle well, struggle well, saved my family and my life man, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:Did you finish the the class week and then do the warrior path?
Speaker 3:oh, yeah, no well, yeah, so tico, tico does things his own way, right? So I I went to the first struggle well class. From there I went to warrior path. I come back from warrior path and I found out that there was another struggle well class happening and I put myself into that one. So I go to that class. Then I find out there was going to be another class the next month. Well, I put myself in that class too. Then I find out there was going to be another class the next month. Well, I put myself in that class too, because I was so afraid of losing what.
Speaker 3:I had learned and how far I had come. I was afraid of reverting to who I was before or how I was before, right, so I became so passionate about the program and uh and pushed it in the police department like crazy. I was like I still am the biggest advocate for this program. It saved my family, it saved my life, it saved my relationship with my kids, with my wife. Um, I get emotional.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know, um, we've been through a lot, yeah, Um, another part that I didn't say is back in, back in oh eight, when we took all those pay cuts right, um, my house was foreclosed. Wow, I lost my house. My boat was repossessed, I had to sell my truck, you know, uh, moved into a rental house. I've been, I still live there. Um, I love where, where we live. You know, that's been our home for the last 13 years, but it's not mine, it's a rental. I treat it like it's mine. You know, and you know, we've been through a lot. We, we've been through more than most families, and yet I still managed to hide everything and work the street and do the things that I did, you know, and I'd like to believe that I did it well, yeah, you know, but that it took a toll on my family, oh God, did it take a toll? You know, I really didn't have a relationship with my kids because I was always working and I always put the department first and I put, you know, everything else first instead of my family.
Speaker 2:That's my wife well, well, this is awesome. I want to hear what she has to say if, if, that's okay yeah, man let's cut in right here.
Speaker 2:Uh man, I'm gonna take this one. I want to read this. This is this is awesome. So this, what's her first name? Christy, christy. So this is christy texting us. She says oh man, I'm gonna get emotional as hard as our life has been. We have always kept god as our center and that is how and why we are where we are. I know I speak for the kids and I when I say we are proud of the husband, father and man you are.
Speaker 4:We love you three sobbing men here um, you know it there's, there's I don't know how uh christy has the ability to, but her words are very special, one of the things we do in in the struggle program. Yeah, it sounds morbid and some people don't like it, but listen, you know, face the reality. It's a good thing to do and it's like, hey, think of somebody close to you that would, you know, likely write your obituary if you had died right now.
Speaker 4:The way you are, yeah and uh and tell you the truth, and tell you the truth you know like uh, so thinking about that, you know there was the exercise and so in the training now Goss reads the kind of new obituary and it's hard. He had me read it, I think every time.
Speaker 1:Every time because I can't finish it.
Speaker 4:And then he expects me to keep it together. Right, but it's a very special thing, you know it's. We get so locked in, we think we forget the people around us and we try to ignore what they really think about us.
Speaker 4:So when you hear what they really think about you, it's it's either very special or very hard yeah both of them could be very good, because if it's very hard to hear what they're saying, they didn't do that like you did that, yeah, you gave them what to say. Yeah, and so, analyzing that and and and kind of checking yourself with that, um, and from the christian perspective, god tells us to do that all the time. He says examine yourself. Like people are afraid to do that because they know what's really there and they want to pretend like we're something great when really we know what's inside. So, anyways, examining yourself, or having the closest people to you examine you, changes you for the better If you really take it and use it with the goal and the thought thought of I want to be the person that I want, the things I want you to say. I want to be that person so that when you say things about me, they're going to be things I want to hear. Yeah, so, um, anyways, that was very special, uh, thank you, thank you christy.
Speaker 2:Uh, if you want to text us, if you want to call, maybe you have a question, maybe you have a word of encouragement. Listen, we don't take it for granted. Again, we're having some technical difficulties on the FM side during this live recording, but we don't take it for granted. Who could be listening? Addiction, depression, suicidal thoughts, uh, idealities, tendencies, um, harm line, whatever it is, whatever dark place you might be in. Maybe you have a question, maybe you have just enough strength left in you to text hey, how do I deal with this? How do I deal with that? How did you deal with this? How did you deal with that? Uh, we'll pray for you.
Speaker 2:Tico will have a thought, a word of counsel, of encouragement, and we don't take it for granted that anyone could be listening. Maybe you have a question about something totally different, maybe you want to hear some more canine stories. We're going to talk about some really neat things that Tico's doing teaching, traveling. One of the questions I want to ask him man, six months retired, you have so much ahead of you. What are the missions, what are the dreams, what are the mountains you want to conquer now in retirement? So we're going to talk about that. 786-313-315. I think connected to all of this is a little story where I get this phrase Sergeant Dad, what's that about?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so we pushed to have a family struggle. Well, day Right and we made it happen. Josh and Bernie came down and we did this over at University of Miami, and we did this over at University of Miami and we had all our families out there with us for a day of reflection really is what it was so that the families could get an idea of what the program was like and what we had gone through. And when they opened up the floor you know, to see if anybody wanted to say anything, my daughter stands up first one and I was like, oh Lord, here we go, I'm going to get it.
Speaker 4:I was there.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So my daughter stands up and the first words out of her mouth were thank you for giving me my dad back. And I was like, oh OK, it's not that bad. And then she proceeds to let everybody know how they call me, Sergeant Dad, because they saw me as a sergeant first and then a dad. I thought it was a joke, you know, of all my kids' friends calling me Sergeant Dad, when in reality it was how my kids saw me, you know, and how my kids' friends saw me, Sergeant Dad. I mean now it's a term of endearment.
Speaker 3:You know, now it's become a joke, right, because I hopefully have changed or broken that moldment. You know, now it's become a joke, right, but because I I hopefully have have changed or broken that mold, you know, because I've worked hard to to not be that anymore. Yeah, you know, and then it's funny because my son doesn't speak much, man, but then here he goes, he stands up and he just had diarrhea of the mouth in front of everybody and I was like jesus christ, this isn't what I said, what I signed up for, you know, but I had to sit there and take it because those are the things that I had done to my family, you know and uh, we got it.
Speaker 3:You know I, I heard it I listened to it. I was actively listening to what they were saying, you know, and I made changes, man, and realistically, you only you can change yourself. You can, you can listen to anything you want, but if you do nothing with it, it's, it's pointless, right. So you have to have a, you have to make a conscious decision that you want to be different, that you want to, you want to be a different person yeah you know, and uh, it's on that same note.
Speaker 3:I taught a two two hour class right In a in a driver impairment school and I had known somebody in the class for a while. And he stands up in the middle of the class and he says man, you're a liar, not in those nice words, right? And I said what do you mean? He goes, I know you. I go, you're the. And he tells me you're the animal, bro, You're, you're, you're full of it. You're the guy that used to pick people up and throw them over cars. I said, yeah, man, but that's not me anymore. I've put that side away, you know. And he goes nah, you're a liar. How did you do it? I said well, I worked on one little thing every day. He goes what do you mean? I said said man, I worked on one little thing every day.
Speaker 3:I had a different focus every day to change and little by little I was able to make the changes and I've put away that dark, violent side of me. You know that I never want to go back to because I was a very violent man and but it was in line with the job that I was doing at the time.
Speaker 2:So it's good to be able to say that I put that away and I haven't let that out in a very long time, you know, but that's a constant battle to keep that put away Well also also, like you said, you know, staying in that community, staying in that sphere, right, because apparently you ran out of classes to take, so now you're teaching them, yeah, so that keeps you in a good group. The Bible says that evil company corrupts good habits, so the company you keep is so important. And again, if you're listening, having guardrails up, having boundaries up, you know, if you're someone that struggles with alcohol, right, you probably should not be bar hopping. That's not wise, that's not a good choice. You know, man, you want to be careful, you want to be wise. Just such good insight. We have a text here and I also want to hear from Adrian, and I also want to hear from Adrian and I also want to get back to the door story. I don't know if we got that door story.
Speaker 4:Well, let's go back to inside the house.
Speaker 2:We'll get to the door then.
Speaker 4:But you know canine officer and you know the kind of dogs that canine has. There's been a lot of changes.
Speaker 3:You still have a ferocious dogihuahua wiener dog and, ironically, her name is Whiskey.
Speaker 4:You had to do it.
Speaker 2:A different Whiskey I got a different Whiskey in the house.
Speaker 3:That is funny to imagine you with a Chihuahua wiener dog, and she's a ball of joy. That is funny man.
Speaker 4:I can just say the difference. You should take a before and after picture.
Speaker 2:I can show you the before picture.
Speaker 4:And then the door.
Speaker 2:The door, yes. What's special about the door so?
Speaker 3:during the first class that I went to, the first Struggle Well class. We do a thing which is called gratitude, and we practice gratitude every morning, so you say something that you're thankful for from the day before.
Speaker 3:Awesome practice. So I come home and I had asked my wife to bring home post-it notes. So I write a post-it note before I leave the house that morning and I put it on the door to go out into the garage. When I get home, my daughter comes up to me and goes hey, what are you doing? I go, what do you mean? He goes you know mom, mom's ocd. She doesn't like stuff on the door. Why did you put the sticky note there? Hey, relax, I, I got it okayed with mom, trust me. I asked first, right, and I, uh, I put a sticky note up there.
Speaker 3:So the next day there's another sticky note up there it's not yours it was in mine, it was hers, and I was like, oh okay, cool, she's hopping on the bandwagon. Then another day goes by, my son had put a sticky note on there and then, well, my wife jumped on the bandwagon, right, so we're putting sticky notes and then when my, their friends would come over, they say, hey, what is that? And we explain what the door was gratitude door. Um. So they start putting sticky notes. So then my wife tells me, hey, hold on, we got to decorate the door. I was like, all right, so we decorated the door, we changed it, we put some wallpaper on the door that she wanted to make it look like a barn door. She made a frame that says gratitude door on it and she put led lights on it battery powered led lights, put it on the door.
Speaker 3:Now there's a basket with post-it notes and pens so anybody that comes to our house can write a gratitude note that's awesome you know, at the end of the month pick it up and we put in a ziploc bag and sometimes we'll we'll get one of the ziploc bags and bring it out when we're having dinner and we'll read what people were thankful for man, that is awesome.
Speaker 2:Maybe we can get a picture of that put it.
Speaker 3:Oh, I have a picture. Yeah, put it on. Well, no, I don't have it here, it's in my presentation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, we'll put it on, we'll get it later. Put it on social media and and uh, just to see what, what it looks like that I can just imagine it. The description is awesome, all decked out. And to think of the story, man, it went from one note to imagine how it could look now.
Speaker 4:All decked out that's super knowing, uh, knowing his wife christy. If she's listening, she's probably gonna send him a picture. Oh, I'm sure she's that's going to send it.
Speaker 2:So we heard from Christy, we heard from Maddie. Oh, we got another text. My name is Julian and I am Tico's son. I have a message for my dad After retirement. What was the moment that you realized I made it out alive and I'm really retired? Love you dad. Oh man, really retired. Love you dad.
Speaker 3:Oh man. Well, I'll tell you what. I don't know if it's that I made it out alive. I had a moment of reality right where I was sitting on the couch and Christy comes home from work one day and I told her I'm useless. She's like what do you mean? I been doing? I haven't done anything, you know to make money. She's like what are you talking about? I go babe, I'm useless, I'm not making money. I think I'm gonna go get another job. She goes stop, we paid off all our bills, right, we have money in the bank. Can you relax? You're being paid to breathe now. Your pension pays you to breathe and I was like oh, okay, um, so I did.
Speaker 3:Uh, I had to. I had to do a double take and reassess everything and man, what a good spouse.
Speaker 2:I mean man, if, if you're listening and you're married, be an encourager, you know, be there for your spouse. I mean man, what a. I just had to comment on that, but go ahead.
Speaker 3:You know, and uh, so I, I was, I was teaching struggle well, here and there, you know, a little class here, a little class there. Um, and I was, I was doing my boat thing, you know, and and, and I started getting more involved with it. And then my, my nephew graduates high school. So I had my nephew. I said, listen, if you're not going to do anything, you're going to work with me. Nice. So I put my nephew to work with me for a couple of months and then struggle well calls. They call me one day and say, hey, tico, are you willing to travel? I said, yeah, I guess my kids are older now, they're 22 and 20. It's just me and my wife and yeah, I'll travel. Oh, man, so I've been traveling. Now I just came back. I spent two weeks in Michigan, uh, teaching, uh, launching the struggle well program with Michigan state police. I've been to North Carolina. I'm leaving to Fresno now this week. Uh, california, when I come back?
Speaker 2:I'm going back to North Carolina and the next one is in hawaii with your wife. Listen wherever.
Speaker 3:Well, you know and it's funny because you say that with my wife, um, I wouldn't have been able to make it, you know, in uh in michigan for two weeks without her. Um, our, our 26th wedding anniversary was october 25th this year and I was in Michigan and I made a promise to my family in my final 06, which is what you say over the radio the last day that you're there. It's your final year farewell. And I promised my family I would never miss another important date, because I've missed too many. So when Michigan State Police came to evaluate the program, they came down here to Miami and I taught that class. So to me it was very important to be the one that rolls out the program for them, you know and Struggle Well, actually offered it to me and said listen, we know this is important to you.
Speaker 3:Would you like to do two weeks? And I said, man, I don't think I could do two weeks because it's my wedding anniversary. And my wife is hearing the conversation and she tells me you're doing it. I said, what she goes, you're doing it and I'll take time off of work and I'll fly up to be with you on our anniversary. I was like are you serious? She's like, yeah, do it.
Speaker 3:so I just spent two weeks in michigan, christy flew up the day before our anniversary, no, the day of on our anniversary, on the 25th, she flew up and we spent some time up there in michigan, and now I'm taking her with me to california nice very cool man again, just just making it work.
Speaker 2:You know, uh, just just, I hear a lot of encouragement, a lot of teamwork, partnership, support, um, so important in family and marriage. Um, man, great stuff. If you just tuned in, you're super late and that's, that's okay, because this is gonna end up on a podcast. Uh, it's okay because we can get you any information that you missed. It's okay because we love you, we're thankful that you tuned in and, uh, you're gonna get some good stuff here at the tail end. And uh, man, we, we just have had man, we've had some tears.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't, I don't know. I think maybe something got in my eye, I don't know about the other guys. We've had some laughs, we've had a really great conversation, we've learned a lot, we've heard a lot. I'm inspired, I'm encouraged. I hope you have been as well, but maybe you still have a question. Maybe you have a comment, a word of encouragement, a prayer, a bible verse, anything that comes to your mind, while we have our guest tico here today, retired from city miami police teaches, struggle well, builds boats. Uh, learning to juggle, um, no, just kidding kidding but 786-313-3115.
Speaker 2:786-313-3115. That's the number to call or text now during the live premiere. If you're listening to the recording later, hey, good for you. There is a lot of content like this on Ask a Cop, wherever you get your podcasts. But, tico, I know that struggle well, teaching, struggle well, being more involved is definitely one of those mountains, one of those missions in your life in this season. Is there anything else that you look forward to in this season of retirement?
Speaker 3:Yes, absolutely so. My childhood dream has always been to have a place on the water. Luckily, with retiring from the police department, I was able to purchase a little piece of land over on the west coast in Port Charlotte, in a mobile home community that's waterfront, where we have our own private boat ramp, we have 26 slips and we have have a boat storage area and it's got full amenities, pool, gym, everything over there. And, uh, I actually have my travel trailer over there set up right now as our, our home is being built. Wow, you know. So that's that's. My ultimate goal is to live near the water, on the water. Um, we're, we're like, like my wife says, we're a saltwater family and I'm a saltwater soul. I grew up fishing with my grandfather from the age of 6 to 16.
Speaker 3:My grandfather was a commercial fisherman and he would pick me up from school every Friday and I'd fish Friday and Saturday with my grandfather and Sundays. My dad and my uncle had a boat and they kept it at my grandfather's house so I would get the boat ready when they would show up we'd get on the boat and go. So my whole life really has been on the water and I love the ocean.
Speaker 2:That's my, that's my happy place, that's my, where I go, clear my head yeah, man, it's super cool building your home, retirement, the fruits of your labor super, super cool. We covered a lot. We covered a lot of topics career, the struggles that you've been through, how you've learned to struggle. Well, we have maybe about five minutes. Anything else you wanted to share with us, anything we didn't touch upon, anything you want to go back to to comment on.
Speaker 3:Man, there's so much that I'm grateful for right. I'm grateful for the police department, you know. I'm grateful for for everything that that I've been through. At the end of the day, I think I had a a great career. Um, I met a lot of people, I think uh, I loved all my officers, you know, and I wanted to make sure that everybody uh would leave roll call with a smile when I did roll call you know, because it might not be you don't know what when the last time you see them might be right.
Speaker 3:Um, I'm extremely grateful for everything that that I got from the police department right, good and bad. Um, I've learned to change the way that I think man and everything in life has a silver lining. It's a. It's honest to find it and that's think man and everything in life has a silver lining. It's a. It's honest to find it, and that's what I, what I teach now, right, no matter what bad thing comes my way, I try to find the positive in it. Now, instead of focusing on the bad, 80% of your thoughts are bad. That's easy. It's hard to focus on on on making it good, right. So now I focus on that 20%, on making it good, right. So now I focus on that 20%.
Speaker 1:That's awesome.
Speaker 3:And you got to keep going right. You can't give up. Just because something sets you back doesn't define you, you know.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. We got a text here. I love it. I love it. They took the humor in stride. They said I'm super late, I just got to hear, so they're even getting to know. Hey, we're doing an interview right now. But he said I just got to hear him talk about how his wife encouraged him to do something on their anniversary. She flew out to meet him. That is awesome. And then he shared a bible. Verse two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. Ecclesiastes, chapter 4, verse 9. My brother, thank you for texting I. I was I actually saw this brother this morning glad he he tuned in to hear part of our conversation.
Speaker 2:Man, focusing on the good Again, man, it's so many biblical principles we're touching on today. Taking your thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ right, and you made this comment earlier, right. The two comments. They're really connected. It's up to you to make a decision. Am I just going to let all these bad thoughts run my day or am I gonna take them captive? I'm gonna take hold of this. Am I gonna grab this, this to to use the salt water? Right, grab the rudder of this ship. You know so important, adrian, anything you want to share in the last couple minutes.
Speaker 4:I'm just um, with a few minutes left. Um, maybe a word to any officers, yes, those who want to go into law enforcement, and, um, or maybe are in it and and they're in the struggle, right, they're they're not at the point where they've dropped that bottle, or dropped whatever vice or whatever thing they're using to numb their pains and they're just going through it, or or maybe they're oblivious to all of it. They just say a word for the officer um, man, uh.
Speaker 3:So a word to the officers is you are loved more than what you can imagine. Right, it is the vocal minority that we hear, but the silent majority wants us out there, you know. So focus on that. People out there really want us out there, right, because nobody wants mayhem. Right, and it's up to us. We are that dividing line between chaos and peace. Do what you got to do, man. Make sure you go home, but make sure you take care of your home. In this day and age, this is one of the things that I say a lot too. Society has made everything disposable. Cups are disposable, plates are disposable. You know your family, your marriage, your friends that's not disposable. That takes work. Right, if you work at it, you put effort into it, it's worth it. Right, it's very easy to say, ah, throw it away, right, but it's harder to work at it and stay in it, right. So it takes work. You know, everything in life is work.
Speaker 2:You just can't give up on it you know, and you say that, the other thing that comes to mind when you talk about marriage, family, when you start to throw things away, they lose their value. And again, I want to be very careful. We might have family. You know, dear brothers and sisters listening that they're divorced, they've gone through things. But again, I think there's a truth to it where you, you have one divorce, two, three, and it it becomes easier, it's it's, it's less valuable versus. And again, what? What? The past is the past. Right, we're talking about moving forward versus. I'm gonna fight to the death, you know, until there's zero possible option, zero, I've done everything with my living breath to do for this. Uh, you know again, whether it's marriage, kids, uh, so so important. I love that man. Our society has made things disposable and I'll.
Speaker 3:I'll say it because it's the truth yeah right, right. I told you I don't hold back.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I asked my wife for a divorce. You know where my wife works In divorce court. Oh, wow, right, wow. And years ago, wow, and she never gave up on me. Christy would never gave up on me. Christy has made me. Yes, we grew up together. We've been together, um, since I was 19. She was 18, yeah, right, and I proposed to her three months after we met. So we've been together since we were kids. But in all reality, yes, I had a great base with my parents raising me, but christy has made me the man that I am today, right, so that woman has been my angel.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I'm not afraid to say it, Right she's. She never gave up on me and again.
Speaker 2:I'm. I'm glad we didn't end without hearing that because, again, what a practical stop sign, caution sign. Hey, if your spouse is at that place, I want a divorce. You don't have to say yes, say yes, say, say no, say I'm gonna fight, say again every single circumstance difference. But but man, that story is powerful. I think it's only fair.
Speaker 2:I want to reread the text. I want to end with what she sent us and, adrian, hopefully you have enough time to queue up that, that outro, but I want to end with with christie's thoughts and words to us. I thought it was so well said. If that's okay with you guys before I, because I literally want this to be the last thing we read today. I'm so thankful for her, her message. So, before that, thank you for joining us tico anytime, great time. Adrian, thank you for bringing them. Uh, we're gonna get to the program right now.
Speaker 2:Let me read this. Guys, just a couple housekeeping again. You can share this. You can uh get, uh, ask a cop, uh out. Uh, let me, let me start that sentence over. You can share, ask a cop with people. You can uh, uh, let people know how they can listen. There's tons of interviews. This is just one of them spread the word. This is good stuff. Here's our ending from christy. As hard as our life has been, we have always kept god as our center and that is how and why we are where we are. I know I speak for the kids when I say we are proud of the husband, father and man you are.
Speaker 1:We love you you've been listening to ask a cop for more information or to get in contact with us. Visit our website, policethankyoucom. You'll also find out how you can support us Again, just visit policethankyoucom. All one word Don't forget to subscribe to the Ask a Cop podcast. Wherever you're listening right now. We look forward to continuing the conversation when you join us next time for Ask a Cop podcast. Wherever you're listening right now, we look forward to continuing the conversation when you join us next time for Ask a Cop.