|int| Triumph Over Transition: Exploring a Navy Veteran's Journey from Military to Civilian Life w/ Lara Beltz | Ep 79

Can you imagine the strength it takes to transition from a military career to civilian life? This week we're privileged to share a deeply personal conversation with Lara Beltz, a Navy veteran who courageously shares her journey through transformative military experiences, shedding light on the internal struggles many veterans face post-service. Lara's incredible journey begins in Sicily, where she worked in the ER and ran EMS in a military setting and faced life-altering events that took years to process.

Together, we navigate the tumultuous path to recovery, highlighting how integral veteran's programs have been in Lara's life. As co-owner of a service organization that employs veterans, Lara reveals the unique skills and values that her military career has instilled in her. The American Warriors Association, a retreat for veterans and first responders, played a significant role in Lara's life, providing a supportive community that understood her experiences and fostered personal growth.

Finally, we cast a spotlight on Lara's inspiring journey as a female leader in the male-dominated military and trades sector. Lara talks about the importance of women taking up space, the need for female representation, and the power of advocating for women in trades. She shares honest reflections on self-worth, shared connection, and personal work ethic, painting a vivid picture of the realities of military life, the transition to civilian life, and the unique challenges faced by women in the military. Don't miss this engaging, insightful conversation with Lara Belz.

Check out the American Warrior Association:

https://awa-usa.org/programs

And to find out more information about the trades go to the place that changed my life:

https://explorethetrades.org

Contact Thad - VictoriousVeteranProject@Gmail.com

Thanks for listening!

Transcript

Lara Beltz: 0:09

I feel like a lot of that came to head when I got out more than when I was in, and made transitioning to military life extremely difficult, and I dealt with some of it and then just kind of packed it away again. And it's been a long time, but it's only been in the last probably six months that I'd really started to unpack and look at you know how do I process this and how do I move forward, and so a lot of that, excuse me, is relatively new.

Thad David: 0:51

Welcome to another episode of On your Lead. A point man in the military leads from the front, making the path clear and safe. My goal is to provide a point person or guide for you to follow, to help you build confidence and locate the next steps you need to take to achieve the life you want. My hope is that you take those steps. Then join us on the show to share your success so we can all follow On your Lead.

Thad David: 1:15

Welcome to another episode of On your Lead. I'm here today with Laura Belz. How are you doing, laura?

Lara Beltz: 1:23

I'm great Thanks for having me.

Thad David: 1:26

Thanks for jumping on. I got to chatting with you a couple weeks ago and your story in the military and what you're doing now was so intriguing to me. I'm really happy that you're on to share some of that and just to give some context to everybody listening. When were you in the Navy and what did you do in the Navy?

Lara Beltz: 1:49

I joined in 94 right out of high school and I just really couldn't wait to get out of where I was at.

Thad David: 2:02

And so that was the catalyst. You just wanted something different.

Lara Beltz: 2:08

Yeah, my dad was Navy and his dad before him, so it was a reasonable path. But I didn't want to waste my parents' money on college that I had no interest in, so I just decided I would join the Navy and become a corpsman. So that's what I did.

Thad David: 2:27

Oh, excellent, you were a Navy corpsman.

Lara Beltz: 2:32

Yeah, I ended up a couple different duty stations Went to Corps School in Great Lakes, went to Portsmouth, virginia, for the first portion of my service and then ended up. Instead of being deployed with a Marine unit, I ended up overseas in Stiganella, sicily, and worked in the ER and ran EMS there for several years. So that was the end of my military time with that.

Thad David: 3:05

Wow, that had to have been an incredible journey, getting stationed and working in the ER in Sicily.

Lara Beltz: 3:14

Sicily is probably other than my home. Here where I live is probably my second home. I left a piece of it there, I left a piece of me there and I would go back any second of the day. If you said I had a flight for you ready to go, I would hop on and leave. I wouldn't even think twice. I just the people, the culture. It's amazing there and I loved living there. Working there not as much. There were lots of challenges. Obviously, when you're running EMS it's a little bit different than the civilian side. Civilian side you normally run EMS, deliver the patient and you're done, go back out. But for military at least, at that duty station you would go pick the patient up, stabilize them, bring them back in and also work on them, because we only had two corpsmen, one nurse and one doctor, to staff the entire ER while we were working. So it was. You're depending on each other definitely.

Thad David: 4:35

It was very challenging and you had to go. I mean, you all went and picked them up. You did everything.

Lara Beltz: 4:43

Yes, there's no civilian equivalents. So I usually say, well, I couldn't dispense narcotics and obviously you need nurses for certain things. But if you're talking about trauma triage, we took care of that and we saw plenty of things that I've spent a lot of time dealing with and trying to come to peace with. So I think a lot of us that served there and that serve in different aspects of treating people who need help, I think a lot of us carry that, especially if there's not a positive end to the situation. So there's a lot of things that you deal with when you work at that kind of job.

Thad David: 5:35

And somebody that doesn't know, because I'm not. It's not something I'm aware of and it's intriguing to me. I'd love to ask you what was one of those situations. I mean, what was that like? It sounds like there's some more there. That kind of goes deeper down that hole.

Lara Beltz: 5:57

Yeah, I've spent a long time and I think there's a lot of people out there that don't understand that you can carry that stuff with you and whether you're talking about I mean, I don't equate my experiences with someone on the battlefield I'm sure that is 10 times harder. But when you're talking about having people's lives in your hands and you're trying to do your best job, your best ability, and you come away from this situation, you feel like you could have done more, whether or not you actually could, because I would say every single one of mine, my brain, tells me I could not have done more. But other parts of me are like my heart. You know it hurts my heart that I couldn't make a positive resolution out of that. So, and you carry that, I think, until you realize that you were given the tools you were given, and I'm a faith based person. So God gave me the tools and the skills and the ability to be able to do those jobs and I needed to accept that. I did the best I could and it's okay that I couldn't have a positive outcome.

Lara Beltz: 7:24

I think back to probably one of the most disturbing ones, and I don't typically talk about things like this to most people, but I think your listeners in particular might be interested to know some of these things. So we had a girl who had wrecked her Jeep and picking her up and bringing her back. I was actually still in the ER. I did not go pick her up, but she came back to the emergency room and just by looking at her because she's missing parts of her skull. So you know, going into that in your brain, but that's not going to be a good conclusion, it's not? She was basically dead once you got there. But we're doing everything we can and I think sometimes you do more than you probably need to because you want to make sure that somewhere down the line you don't go well, we didn't do this or we didn't do this and we should have. So we worked on her for a long time and doing CPR on someone I think that definitely affects you as well.

Lara Beltz: 8:49

I always found like I had a place I went. I would just shut all the emotion down and just do the job that needed to be done. But looking back on all that whole entire situation now, it's like as a, I think I was probably maybe 19, 20 at the time. So when you look back on that and you're thinking I was not prepared to deal with a situation like that where I'm directly, my team and I are directly responsible for this person's life and it didn't work out. And now what do I do with that?

Lara Beltz: 9:34

I mean, I think a lot of times when you encounter things like that in the military, the automatic thought that people have is I'm fine, I'm moving on with what tomorrow has to bring, because tomorrow has a whole other set of situations that are equally horrible.

Lara Beltz: 9:55

So you just kind of compartmentalize a lot of those feelings and a lot of those issues and you've got people in command who will say oh well, if you need to talk to somebody, you can talk to somebody.

Lara Beltz: 10:09

But in the back of your head you're like well, if I talk to somebody, they're not putting me back on this job again. So you tell no one and the unspoken understanding between all of your team members is I'm fine, how are you, I'm fine, how are you, I'm fine. And you do that for years and years and years until finally you can't put anything more in the box of compartmentalization of our room. So, interestingly enough for me, I feel like a lot of that came to head when I got out more than when I was in and made transitioning to military life extremely difficult, and I dealt with some of it and then just kind of packed it away again. And it's been a long time, but it's only been in the last probably six months that I've really started to unpack and look at, you know how do I process this and how do I move forward, and so a lot of that, excuse me, is relatively new.

Thad David: 11:27

And I think I really appreciate you sharing this. You said you don't share it very often and I appreciate you opening up and sharing it, and you mentioned something that I think correlates and lines up with a lot of people's experiences, especially people that you had made a reference to people going to combat anything like that, that nobody's practiced, for what that was going to be like, and I think that was very, very similar except for you. That was your every single day, for your entire time in, and that was it for us. We deployed and then we would come home and that was it, whereas yours was every single day. So yours appears to be a very difficult situation. So I have a lot of respect for what you did and I appreciate you sharing that.

Lara Beltz: 12:20

Well, I always look at it in the terms of this is going to help somebody else. You know, I think I came with age. I don't know that I would have been so eager to share any of that with anybody else, but I had talked to you before about how I had gone on the retreat with American Warrior Association and that really helped a lot to you. I mean, we talked about tools on how to deal with the moral injury and I'm no expert on any of that but just the fact that some of your core beliefs can be shattered, especially if you talk about combat. On my end, it was more. I have the tools I should be able to save people and when you feel that that's core to your belief, where it ends up being like, what's the point? I came back. When I came back and got out, I threw all my medical training away. I didn't want to do it ever again because it was got to the point where I couldn't see any of the good. I could only see the bad, only see the people I'd lost or wasn't able to save. So it ended up being what was the point? Why should I bother doing this? Because I'm not making a difference.

Lara Beltz: 13:55

I think you get out and you find it difficult to not only deal with that, but also to to realize that there's something that you need to deal with. I mean, I think you come back and you say it's fine, it's fine, when it's really not. There's a lot of different services out there. I would say even a lot more outside of. If you don't want to deal with the VA, fine, there's a bunch of other services out there. And you should definitely reach out, because, if I've learned nothing else, it will not go away. You can't just put it in a box and store it in the back closet of your mind and think that it's not going to rear its head, because it will. It will destroy you from the inside out if you don't take care of it. I have a great example of that too.

Thad David: 14:59

I would love to hear.

Lara Beltz: 15:00

I can say this because I've been through it. You can come out the other side. I got out and felt completely lost. The core group of my military friends were still in. I came back to a small town with no people, went in and came back home and all that, but I didn't know anybody else here where I was living that was a veteran. I felt like I left my family behind. When I came home, even though I'm coming back to my real, my selection of love family they did not understand me or what I was going through at all. I'm sure you had. Almost every single person that's been in the military and come home has the same experience. I'd like to say, though, that my experience working in the ER changed how I viewed I'm trying to think of the words to put this. It changed my view on red flag issues.

Lara Beltz: 16:18

I spent so long shutting off my emotions and shutting off when you have that situation where you have to be calm, collected and you have to be the reason person out of everyone involved in the situation. You're doing triage, you're managing things. You shut all that stuff off, all those warning signs that you see in situations, because you're the one that has to do the planning and prepping of the patient and get them out. When I came back, all those skills that made me good at that job I think were detrimental to living in the civilian world, especially with relationships. It ended up where I ignored danger signs because there were none anymore. I had silenced them so they don't exist anymore. I don't see them, and I ended up marrying a very abusive man and stayed married to him for nine years. Some of those things that made me great at what I did ended up putting me in danger.

Lara Beltz: 17:44

I don't think that that's only my situation. I think a lot of times when you are confronted with constant traumas, you shut those things off and then when you come back into civilian life you don't know how to turn them back on. Nobody gives you those tools. You have to develop them. I would say even to this day and I got out many, many moons ago I still have that overdeveloped sense of making sure everything's safe and planning for the worst case scenario. Now that makes me a pretty handy person to be, you know to have in your back pocket. Sometimes it doesn't always lead to peaceful living for me.

Lara Beltz: 18:43

So a lot of these skills I think you have to reevaluate and, I think, pick your, not just what you perceive in your mind as being okay. Well, this is normal. Is it really? Maybe you should ask somebody else, maybe you should talk to somebody about your heightened sense of security and such. I thought it was normal Because that's just how I've been living and you know, it took me, like I said, a long, long time to open up and actually talk to somebody about those thoughts and those feelings and you know, for them to say, well, it's totally justified. We understand why you feel this way, but you do realize there's no need for it. I didn't know, that wasn't normal. So until you have those conversations, I don't know how you're ever going to know.

Lara Beltz: 19:49

But I will say that being in the military and having those core I guess core beliefs of you drop me anywhere, I can survive. That's what helped me get through all the worst times in my life, especially that marriage. There's no doubt in my mind that had I not been very strongly prepared for day in and day out, that I never would have made it through that, but I did. It came out on the other side and I mean I'm a really strong advocate for women and I mean I'm not like let's go burn our bras. I'm not talking that. I'm talking know your worth and don't be afraid to step on the platform and talk about what you know and that you are valued.

Lara Beltz: 20:55

And I think that having gone through some of the really challenging things in my life got me to that. Without those, I'm not where I am today and I would love to go back and erase some of that. But you can't have the strength that you have now if you don't go through health. You have to go through some of that hell before you can have enough confidence and know that. I've already been through that. So what worse can, what else could they possibly throw at me? I've already been there.

Thad David: 21:32

I've really appreciate you sharing all of this. I've always known you to be a very powerful person, very powerful one, just very powerful person in general, and this gives some insight into where a lot of that strength has come from, and so thank you for sharing that. You mentioned the ability to turn some of those indicators back on. You know, nobody teaches you how to do that, and you made reference to talking to other people and that you're unpacking some of that. Now I would just like to ask, just as you're unpacking it all and learning from it, where have you learned to switch on some of those switches? What's been the biggest help for you with that?

Lara Beltz: 22:18

Well, I will add that I think some of the switches that were turned off and then, you know, you don't even see danger anymore. I think I went completely opposite, the opposite direction, when I turned. You know, when I started seeing it wasn't that difficult. I mean, he was a very dangerous man. So, feeling threatened and fearing your safety, I think I didn't have a choice. You know they had to be turned back on for me to survive the situation.

Lara Beltz: 22:51

So I think the challenge is whether which side you're on, whether you're too far or whether you're not enough. I think either one is a bad thing, doesn't serve you well in your life. So if you can ask yourself you know either way, whether you're not enough or you know, just recognize. I think, just recognizing that okay. Well, is the situation really warranting? Is my response to the situation Is it warranting where I'm at Taking that pause of for me, okay, I'm on the other side now where I've got too much of this. Do I really need to get back in my car and leave them all just because I have a tiny little feeling? Was there really any danger? Or I'm at the gas station and somebody says hi? Do I have to immediately be suspicious of every single person, like the situational awareness is great, but do you have to go so far with it, you know, asking yourself is this warranting, I think, just taking a step to ask the question instead of just going down the path without any second thought about it?

Thad David: 24:14

And you currently now you do a ton of work for veterans. Is that correct?

Lara Beltz: 24:23

Well, we do a lot of here at the shop. We actually do a lot. My husband and I own a service organization, a service business, and we hire. We also have a project program. I just feel so strongly that there are so many skills that people in the military have that the average everyday citizen does not. And, regardless of what you come back with as a result of your military experience, you're ten steps ahead of most people because you have core values that cannot be one. They're really, you know, they're really really hard to teach in just the normal atmosphere, but in the military, even if you didn't come to the military with some of those core values, you definitely left with them. There wasn't really an option. You left with them.

Lara Beltz: 25:30

So making sure that veterans, women veterans that everyone realizes that their value is so much higher. And I'm not trying to put down civilian I mean, obviously I am one now but there's a higher level of accountability, a higher level of team picture, which in this day and age is really hard to get across. I have a really hard time. My husband Revolt with the new employees that we hire, especially if they're the newer generation. They just it's all about centered here right in front of them, and it has nothing to do with the big picture. And I don't think that you can be a really good team player until you can get your mind wrapped around that it's bigger than you, no matter where you're at, it's bigger than you. And you need to realize the whole big picture before you can really do your job well. And I think that military veterans come back from service without already built in it makes a lot of sense.

Thad David: 26:48

And you also I love that you do so much work. You and your husband, also a veteran, do so much work, hire veterans. But you had mentioned it and I think you paid on it earlier, but you were just out with the American Warriors Association.

Lara Beltz: 27:03

Yes, american Warrior Association it's. They've been around for a few years and they started out with men, veterans, and they take. My particular group was 11, including myself, was 11 women. It's a week long. Our particular location was in Colorado and it was in the middle of nowhere in the mountains. If I had to guess, I think the nearest town was probably half an hour away.

Lara Beltz: 27:41

It was very remote and my guess is they pick it that way on purpose, because they want you to be away from distractions, they want you to really think about what you have to deal with and they have previous previous participants come back and need some of the groups and for me the experience was life changing. I think that's the only reason why I'm actually able to talk to you about some of the past stuff, because I'm in a really good place now. I wasn't before and I know I've got more work to do, but I feel like they gave me the key to unlock the door to recovering from a lot of the stuff that I have buried back in that box and back of the closet and just giving you the tools. And they go a step further because when you talk about, when you get my small group, there's like four of us and a small group leader, and a small group leader she's already been through the program, she's got her own problems and she's working through her own stuff. But having those other women who've already experienced some sort of trauma or some sort of issue come together, it's almost like you've already eliminated some of the resistance. One their veterans so they've been there and done that. Or their first responders, so they've already been there and done that. So you feel like you're talking to friends. And two, they all have a lot of the same issues. So when I'm going to tell somebody about my story or any of my issues, it's like, well, I have to explain myself first because they don't want to understand, otherwise you don't have to do that there because they already know. So you completely shut. You know all these areas that you could possibly shut down and feel like you can't talk. They disappear because they're already in the same shoes that you're in. So our small group discussions and even our large group with everyone, it was so powerful because you've got all these women who have already been there know what you're talking about. And the other key component to it was everyone was so supportive. So I was saying that you know you've got these large groups and you've got all these women, so in mind there's 11 women, including myself, and then the small group leaders are there as well.

Lara Beltz: 30:39

And when you have these moments where you're telling people okay, this is how I feel, I'm feeling like I'm worthless or I can't do enough, or no matter what I do is never going to be enough, and I'll personalize it and say that was mine. No matter what I do, it's never enough. And having all of them come at you and say right to your face you're wrong. These thoughts in your head are not true. You are wonderful, you are strong.

Lara Beltz: 31:11

Here are the examples of how you have already won over this, and I think there's some huge power in that, because saying it to yourself over and over again kind of makes it fact in your brain, but saying it to someone else and having them refute it, it kind of stops it in its tracks. And you don't necessarily have to believe one person, fine, but when you've got 10 other, 10, 10, 12 other women saying the exact same thing, that is false. That is false. That is false. You can't ignore it anymore. You can't ignore the fact that your self-talk is wrong and there's something hugely powerful in that, and all of us supported each other through our moments like that and I mean some of the stories that we shared with each other are some of the most painful, gut-wrenching, god-awful things and I just feel like we all left in a better spot. We all left feeling like we had purpose and that we were enough and it was just extremely supportive. And I will also add that I don't know if this is true for every single group, but that particular group of women we talk every single day and have since we left every single day.

Lara Beltz: 32:49

So I think, in the way that the military, you have that bond because you have that shared connection. Usually it's shared horribleness, usually it's something hideous. I know that binds you together with people forever the way it is. You know you have that shared connection. It binds you together with people forever the way it is. You have that shared common thread that you just keep with you forever. And I think this only intensifies those already strengthened bonds because you went there as a veteran, you went there with this horrible stuff and you shared your deepest, darkest stuff and nobody went running and screaming. They went yeah, me too. There's serious power in it so long stories tell you.

Lara Beltz: 33:44

Yes, amazing organization did not cost me anything to go. They want you to buy your plane ticket so you actually show up and then they reimburse you. So I went and spent a whole week in Colorado. Rode horses, went hiking, shared some of the deepest, darkest things in my box in the back of my head and came out on the other side feeling like, okay, I can really really work on this. I don't have to hide it in the box anymore, I don't have to shove it in that closet because I'm strong enough to deal with this and I've got the tools to deal with it and I've got the people to help me do it. Because I just had a tough day last week and I was like man feeling pretty bad about today and I just put it on the tax stunner group text, now having a great day, and within two seconds I had probably 15 messages saying you got this, move on, you got this. So I highly recommend my organization. They do have there is some faith based to it, but it's not mandatory for you to believe or not believe.

Lara Beltz: 35:11

But I think there was some really good things that came out of that Just at least from my story of you know, god made me with skills and I need to acknowledge that those skills may not save everyone, but there was a reason why and he's the higher power and I need to just accept that that I wasn't going to.

Lara Beltz: 35:47

I mean, obviously my brain knows it's statistically impossible for me to save everyone, but I still want to. So I think, just recognizing that I was not meant to save everyone and that's okay, it's something I think, that I mean, I can still see my patient spaces and I still think about them, and there are a million different things in my life that remind me of those situations. But I think I'm better prepared for, when those thoughts creep up, to be like no, no, that's not true. I need to rethink that. So I think when somebody else that you trust gives you an alternative truth to what you've been telling yourself for a long time, it's key to how you can move on, because if you could see yourself, everyone else sees you. We'd all be in an amazing spot.

Thad David: 37:07

That is the truth and I love that you shared that.

Lara Beltz: 37:13

Yeah, my husband tells me and I don't really necessarily believe this to my core, but he tells me you're a rockstar and I happen to have a. I know I mentioned that we own a business together and I think that getting into that business with him and having his support as well has also I mean he was a big key to feeling like I was enough, very big key because he saw things in me that I didn't even see. I think there's a lot of times where we have lots of talents that we don't, we just don't see in ourselves and other people do, and when you meet the right person that can bring that out of you and point it out and support because not just that organization but in our best practices group, next Star, which you are a part of as well, getting on the steering group for women of Next Star was one of those things that he pushed me to. You need to be involved. You need to do this because you're such an advocate for women and what they bring to the trades and I never would have done that on my own, but I mean just like coming on here with you. Had you asked me, like a couple of years ago, I probably would have told you no, but he's very supportive and he's like. You've already done these with women of Next Star. So what's the big deal? All right, I'll do it.

Lara Beltz: 38:56

But having those conversations and just pointing out to the industry how amazing women can be for the trades and what you know, it's not like it's a competition. It's not a competition, it's we've earned a whole nother side. You know, we've earned a whole nother set of skills that you guys don't have, or if you do have, they're not as pronounced. I'm not saying women are better than men. I'm just saying we've got our own talents that could be well utilized. I just try and support everybody who is thinking about coming into the trades. But if you're a woman, I'm really going to support you because there are some amazing opportunities and I'll just give you one example. It's my favorite way to put this.

Lara Beltz: 39:49

You have a guy who comes to your business, wants to be in the trades. You put him in a truck, teach him how to talk to the customer. He goes to the customer's house and he's going to talk to that customer, ask them questions, see how he can be helpful to make their house more efficient. The conversation that he has with, most typically the woman of the home, is a completely different conversation than a woman technician who had the exact same training, who goes to the house, talks to this other woman. They're going to be best buds before they even leave the house, or at least they're going to have some common ground that the male technician never even had. It's just the way things are.

Lara Beltz: 40:36

I'm not saying that the male technician can't get to the level of being so good at his customer service and his ability to relate that he can't be efficient as a technician. I'm just saying that if a woman technician goes, they don't even have the barriers. They don't exist. I don't have to worry about my safety when a woman walks in my door. That's just the way life is. The woman technician walks in, you're immediately at ease. You're already five steps ahead.

Thad David: 41:14

I hear in trainings a lot of women service professionals ask some very in-depth questions that give me a moment of pause. That's an incredibly thoughtful question. I hope we get more people asking that level of question. There's a lot of power to it. To circle back to something, too, that I just want to say that Brian is absolutely right.

Thad David: 41:47

If you saw yourself, the way everybody sees you, because in the short time that we got to know each other when I was out at your shop, every step of the way I was just intimidated Not intimidated, that's the wrong word, that's the wrong word. You have a very strong presence and you're a badass. That's every step of the way. That's all I ever saw. That's why I really wanted to have you on. I knew back then I did. Then you messaged me with this where you were, treat stuff. This is incredible. You're amazing. I'm happy to hear that you're stepping up, because we need more of that more powerful, more good people For the context of the conversation, more women stepping up to share and, I think, just more good people like yourself standing up to share. I'm happy that you are.

Lara Beltz: 42:34

Well, thank you very much.

Thad David: 42:36

Thank you. This actually kind of veers off slightly similar conversation, yet it makes me think of it, because we were talking earlier about women in the military and what it's like to be in the military. I was talking to a younger generation veteran. She just recently got out. She said that she would have actually stayed in the military, but one of the reasons she didn't was she felt there was a lack of women leadership that she could look up to. I can't help but think about that now. Think about you and the leadership and the presence that you provide. Obviously, you got out as well. What thoughts do you have about that?

Lara Beltz: 43:25

Well, I would agree with her. First, I was in a long time ago, but I can't think of a single female leader that was above the nurse that was in the ER working with us. There was no one in leadership above that, not a single female. I'm sure subconsciously it would have been nice to see other women in leadership roles, but that was a long time ago. I think when you talk to old subtleties like myself, you're just like well, that's just the way it was. It's not like I started around going, oh this is awful, why don't we have more women in leadership? It's just the way it was.

Lara Beltz: 44:17

I don't know that I gave it a whole lot of thought. I will say that I had a really good experience with my team, my core people. I think it was just the high pressure and high degree of work environment that we were in, where we didn't have time to mess around with. You know, you're a woman, you're a guy. I need to trust or not trust. There was no time for that.

Lara Beltz: 44:47

So our teams were really really close and they're still the best friends that I still have, I mean the people who were working in the ER with me, the five core of us that we still talk every single week to this day and they'll be with me till the day I die, because they know more about me than anybody else on the planet. They probably know more about me than my husband, and that's saying something. But I think when you go through those kinds of situations, they have a deeper understanding of who you are. But to get back to your question, I just I think for me personally it was situational the fact that we didn't have time to mess around. So looking for female leadership was not something that I needed to have to feel like I could reach some of those heights. But I think that has to do with some a little bit of who I am as well. I don't I don't need to see somebody in a role to necessarily feel like I deserve it, does that?

Thad David: 46:08

make sense. I think it circles back to the point of how much of a badass you are. You know you can do it.

Lara Beltz: 46:18

Yeah, I talked about this when I went to. It was the local Plumbing Age Back of Ohio organization and I walk into the room and there's an awful lot of men in there and when you're in the trades you'll have that and honestly, I just feel like I just try and take up as much space as everybody else in there with my personality and who I am, because that's about all you can do and this is going to be a really weird tie-in. But I just got done. I have a motorcycle and I just got done riding this weekend and every time, every time I get on the bike, I always remember my dad in the back of my head. You take up as much space as a car. It's the same principle. Just because you do not take up the physical space of a man, oh, or you know, just because you don't take up the physical space does not mean that you can't own the same space.

Thad David: 47:29

I love that comparison of the motorcycle and the car and just made me think of I got a lot of stuff that takes up a lot of stuff space in my house. That is pretty useless, so sometimes having something else can be more powerful. Yeah, it was initially.

Lara Beltz: 47:51

Small but mighty.

Thad David: 47:54

Well, and I don't know that it was one thing that we had just started talking about, and I don't know that she had thought it at the time of being in and just her reflection of getting out, because we were talking about the numbers of how many women are joining the military and how it's going up and up and up, and now, in the near future, it will be very much 50-50 split, if not start to become more women in the military, which is exciting to see. Just a very diverse and a lot of changes, a lot of good stuff.

Lara Beltz: 48:27

I think the awareness is more than it was. You know the scale you're talking about. I'm sure she's got more awareness of that than I would have back then. So it just wasn't even a thought that came into my head when you talk about. But I think that's pretty much anywhere. You know Any job that you're doing. I just don't look for somebody I mean it's nice to see. I guess if you look and you're like, okay, well, there is a female commander or female lieutenant or you know. I don't know that I ever had a good enough relationship with any of those people in leadership to even think about whether that could be my role. If I'm good enough for the job and I work hard enough, I'm going to be where I need to be. I don't need somebody else to show me the way, but I, like I will always go back to you. I think that's more my personality than anything else.

Thad David: 49:35

I think that's taking 100% responsibility for everything that you can do, and that's one of the things I really respect about you and how you show up. It's just doing everything that you can possibly do. I love it. There was one other question, and it seems this was one thing that seems to be a common talking point. It doesn't feel super relevant giving what you did in the military in your time in, but one thing that I'm noticing with a lot of, and so I'm still going to ask it, even though I don't know, because I think a lot of what you did was very much always on deployment at all times, because you were doing your job, and I think that actually, I just had an aha moment, if I may share it.

Thad David: 50:21

You know, for me, the in a sniper and a recon team.

Thad David: 50:25

I did a lot of training for a job that I never got to do, and it wasn't until we deployed that we did the job, whereas for you and the aha that I just had was, you went to school to do your job and then you did it full time.

Thad David: 50:36

You didn't need to just you didn't have to be deployed to do your job, because you were doing it every day, very high operating, very high caliber. You were doing it and so I would say that you are quote unquote on deployment in your job every day. And that's the question that I was going to ask, because nowadays, with the newer generation getting out, where it's common for people to not deploy, and prior to this, prior to hearing your story, I thought in your time frame that you hadn't deployed, and now I just want to fully retract my statement of no deployment because I think you did the longest deployment of them all. But what? What thoughts do you have about people that aren't deploying and it seems to be a really big struggle for them for getting out and not having gone to combat.

Lara Beltz: 51:20

Yeah, yeah, oh, I and I struggle with that on my own side because I never had forward deployed with Marines. So if I had, if I had done that, then you know I feel like there's some correlation there. If I had done that I would felt like I don't think of words, like you, almost feel like you're not a true Corbin, how much she gets deployed with Marines, and I know that's not true, but you have that in the back of your mind and I think that's probably the same for people, for any other military that doesn't get deployed but was still in doing a very necessary job. It would probably be the same kind of thing where you're thinking, oh good grief, I, I didn't do, I didn't really do the job, I didn't really, and you did I, yeah, so I can see where there's a disparage. You know difference between the two mind, mind, thought, mind the point of views as well?

Thad David: 52:29

Did you feel that, as you were transitioning out, that you had never deployed Because you were pre, just before 9-11, you were getting out?

Lara Beltz: 52:38

The only time I ever really noticed it was when I met other military members and you, you know, oh, when were you deployed? And you know I have, oh, I wasn't deployed but I was overseas. And then I felt like my saving grace was and I worked in the ER and they suddenly it was like, oh, okay, well, you know, we did that, you got to pass. And I think that sometimes when you come across other military members, that's what it is. It's like, well, have you, have you done this, have you done this, have you done this? And and so, yeah, I think there is I. If I didn't have the ER experience, then I would probably feel a little less fun, and I think we do it for ourselves.

Lara Beltz: 53:24

You know allowing somebody else to measure your worth. Stop doing that. Measure your own worth.

Thad David: 53:38

And circling back to what you said earlier, I would think there would be a lot of power in people doing it through the lens at which everybody else sees you, because I think that if we measure ourselves by the viewpoint of what everybody has for us, we would see truly how powerful you are and instead of judging ourselves because I think we can we can really beat ourselves up quite a bit and then where is that?

Lara Beltz: 54:11

We have a. We have a tendency to compare, and we need to stop doing that, because we're all awesome in our own right.

Thad David: 54:18

And I think you should remember, in the conversation I was having with somebody that was, he was a plank owner for Marsock, which is the Marine Corps news SpecOps group that just transitioned out of recon and that was kind of where, where I was, and he always, I mean he's a incredible. I mean look at his laundry list of things that he's done in his military career. I think he was in for 24 years or something just incredible. And he has one thing that he holds onto of I didn't get to deploy with first recon and it's like and I and I share that not to talk about him but just to compare some of, I think, how that's how we all do it, that no matter what, how big that laundry list of things that we've done, there's always that well, I didn't do this and I wish I could have done this, instead of looking back at and saying, look what I did do and being grateful for that.

Lara Beltz: 55:13

Right, yeah, I try really hard to, instead of making that laundry list of things that I haven't done because you can't go back. You know it's the reason that's on your laundry list, because you can't go back and do it. It wouldn't exist if you could, because then you'd just do it. So focusing on the ones that you need to check off or that you wish you could check off and make a new one of. Well, I can't do that, but I can do this over here and I can make a difference doing that. And who else can I bring along with me along the way? You know, those are the things that you need to be putting on that list.

Thad David: 55:52

I love it. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you jumping on and sharing everything that you did.

Lara Beltz: 56:00

My pleasure, my honor.

Thad David: 56:03

Thank you and until next time. Thank you.