Raising Private Money with Jay Conner

From Bank Rejection to Real Estate Success: Jay Conner’s Private Money System

Jay Conner

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 42:47

***Guest Appearance

Credits to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQUXwHjkT-0&t=250s                                    

“How to Raise Private Money for Real Estate Deals (w/ Jay Conner) [TJP Ep29].”

https://www.youtube.com/@Thejourneypod/ 

On a recent episode of the Raising Private Money podcast, real estate investing heavyweight Jay Conner sat down with Leo Young for a wide-ranging discussion about the critical art of raising private money. Their conversation illuminated not just the mechanics of private funding in real estate, but also the mindsets and systems that lead to sustainable, scalable success. Whether you’re a seasoned investor or just getting started, this episode offered a masterclass in funding strategy.

Transforming Obstacles into Opportunity

Jay Conner has built an impressive reputation over two decades, rehabbing over 500 homes and transacting more than $100 million in deals. But his journey took a pivotal turn after the 2008 financial crash, when traditional banks pulled his credit lines, and he was forced to rethink his approach. This adversity led him to discover the power of private money—a strategy that allowed him, within just 90 days, to raise over $2 million in new capital, entirely free from the restrictions and demands of banks or credit.

For Jay, the transition to private money wasn’t just about survival; it became the defining catalyst for his long-term business growth and transformed the way he looked at real estate investing as a whole. He attributes his ability to consistently close deals—never missing out for lack of funds—to building and nurturing relationships with private lenders.

Debunking the Myth: "The Money Will Show Up"

A recurring theme in the conversation was Jay’s frustration with the tired real estate trope that if you lock down a good deal, the money will magically appear. Both Jay and Leo agreed that this advice is not only unhelpful but also sets up new investors for unnecessary stress. Instead, Jay advocates for flipping this narrative: get the capital lined up before you hunt for deals. This approach gives investors confidence, negotiating power, and the ability to make offers rapidly, which is crucial in competitive markets.

There’s more capital available—especially post-2020—than there are viable real estate deals. That means investors who proactively build relationships with private lenders hold a significant edge.

A Mindset Shift: From Borrower to Opportunity Provider

Jay discussed the crucial mental shift he made—and now teaches others—which is moving from a mentality of “asking for a loan” to “offering an opportunity.” For most people, the default is to assume that the person with the money makes all the rules. Jay turned this on its head by taking control: setting terms, acting as his own underwriter, and educating potential private lenders about the benefits and security they receive by investing in his projects.

He views his role as more of a teacher than a beggar or persuader. Most of his 47 private lenders didn’t even know what private lending was until he introduced them to the concept. His approach is methodical and based on service—helping regular people put their “lazy money” (funds sitting idle) to work at attractive, secured returns.

Separation of Offer and Deal

A key nuance in Jay's approach is the importance of separating the conversation about the general private lending opportunity from discussing specific deals. He recommends educating potential lenders about the overall offering first. Once they’re on board, only then does he bring them individual deals that meet strict criteria—never asking them outr