Raising Private Money with Jay Conner

No Banks Needed: Build Your Real Estate Empire through Private Lender Partnerships

Jay Conner

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0:00 | 36:44

***Guest Appearance

Credits to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGaTuHF0FvM                                                  

“Unlocking the Power of Private Money in Real Estate - EP 17”

https://www.youtube.com/@JustKristyLane 

In a rapidly evolving real estate market, traditional bank loans and financing structures are no longer the only avenues for investors seeking capital. Private Money lending has emerged as a transformative, flexible solution for funding real estate deals—and no one is more passionate or experienced in this field than Jay Conner, a nationally renowned real estate investor. On the latest episode of the Raising Private Money Podcast, together with Kristy Aasheim, Jay Conner delivers a masterclass on raising and leveraging Private Money to supercharge your investment success.

The Turning Point: From Traditional Financing to Private Money

Like many investors, Jay Conner started out using traditional bank loans and lines of credit to finance deals. But everything changed for him in early 2009 when his local bank unexpectedly pulled his line of credit—leaving him at risk of losing lucrative deals. Within two weeks, Jay Conner discovered the world of Private Money: an approach that allows investors to fund deals through individuals seeking better returns for their capital and retirement funds. In 90 short days, Jay Conner raised more than $2 million, purely through his own network, a move that transformed his business and allowed him to never miss out on a deal due to lack of funding again.

What Exactly Is Private Money Lending?

Private Money lending is when individuals—not institutions—provide funding to real estate investors. These private lenders, often retired teachers or local professionals, act as the bank for investors. They invest their money in real estate deals in exchange for a fixed, predictable return, typically 8% annually, all secured by the property’s value through legal documents like promissory notes and deeds of trust. The advantages are clear: no underwriting hoops, no bank bureaucracy, and the terms are set by the investor—not the lender.

Jay Conner makes it clear that private lenders do not receive a share of the deal’s profit or equity—they simply earn interest on their “loan,” much like a bank, but usually at a significantly better rate than traditional CDs or savings accounts. And, crucially, private lenders’ investment is secured by the actual real estate, reducing risk for both parties.

Key Strategies for Attracting Private Money

A major pitfall for new capital raisers is focusing solely on pitching deals or “selling” the opportunity. Jay Conner stresses that the real key is to teach and offer the opportunity, not aggressively pursue or pressure potential lenders. In his words: “We’re not talking anybody into anything. We’re solving a problem.”

His process involves:

  • Separating the conversation about the opportunity from any specific deal—focus on explaining the structure, safety, and returns before there’s a deal to fund
  • Asking questions and listening for dissatisfaction, such as disappointment with current returns from retirement accounts or bank CDs
  • Educating contacts about self-directed IRAs, which allow investors to move retirement funds for real estate deals, often with tax advantages
  • Using scripts and curiosity-driven conversation starters, like the “good news phone call,” that frame the opportunity as a favor to potential lenders

Mindset and Ethics in Private Lending

One of the most powerful lessons from Jay Conner is the importance of mindset and ethical responsibility. Instead of chasing or begging, approach Private Money with a spirit of helping. Many of Jay Conner’s deals, especially those involving sellers in foreclosure, are structured not only for investor profit but also to provide a genuine lifeline to distressed homeowners. He insists that you can “never go wrong when you’re leading with a servant’s heart.”

Resources for Aspiring Private Money Investors

Ready to dive in? Jay Conner generously offers a free “Curiosity Opener Script” and his bestselling book Where to Get the Money Now, packed with practical strategies and actual scripts, available at https://www.Jayconner.Com/Scripts, and https://www.JayConner.com/Book.

Final Thoughts

Whether you’re a veteran real estate investor or just starting, Private Money is a game-changing strategy to consider. With the right education, ethical approach, and proven conversation techniques, you can create win-win situations for both you and your lenders—unlocking the capital you need to build a scalable, impactful investment business.

For more in-depth insights and actionable tips, be sure to listen to the full episode with Jay Conner and Kristy Aasheim.

10 Discussion Questions from this Episode

  1. Jay Conner emphasizes the importance of "solving a problem" rather than trying to talk someone into lending money. How does this mindset shift affect the way you approach potential private lenders?
  2. What are the main differences that Jay Conner points out between Private Money and hard money lending, and why does he believe Private Money is a better option for real estate investors?
  3. Jay Conner outlines the process of teaching potential lenders about self-directed IRAs. How does this education component influence lenders’ willingness to work with him?
  4. How does Jay Conner's "good news phone call" script work, and what psychological principles does it rely on to secure funding from private lenders?
  5. Jay Conner mentions an average profit per deal of $86,000 in his area. What lessons can be drawn about finding success in smaller markets?
  6. Why does Jay Conner advocate for securing funding before finding a deal, and how does this approach change risk management for investors?
  7. Kristy Aasheim asks about exit strategies. How do the exit strategies differ depending on whether a property is bought with cash or on terms, and what are the potential benefits or risks of each approach?
  8. Jay Conner focuses on serving homeowners facing foreclosure by offering them a chance to get back on their feet, even giving them some money at closing. How does this approach impact his reputation and long-term business relationships?
  9. How does Jay Conner build and maintain trust with private lenders, especially those unfamiliar with private lending, and what can new investors learn about relationship-building from his strategies?
  10. Based on the experiences shared in the episode, what would be your biggest concern or hesitation before trying to raise Private Money for your own deals, and how might you address it?

Fun facts that were revealed in the episode: 

  1. Big Fish, Small Pond!
    Jay Conner runs his real estate investment business in a small coastal town in North Carolina with a population of only 40,000—yet he has skyrocketed average profits per deal to an impressive.
  2. Coffee and Capital:
    One of Jay Conner’s early private lenders initially committed $250,000, but after a friendly coffee at home, that amount doubled to $500,000—proving the power of personal connection and clear teaching in raising capital. 
  3. No Chasing, No Begging:
    Jay Conner emphasizes that when raising Private Money, his approach involves no chasing, no begging, and no selling. Instead, he focuses on offering a win-win solution—teaching potential lenders about opportunities without pitching specific deals.

Timestamps:

00:00 Jay Conner, The Private Money Authority

04:01 Discovering Private Money opportunities

08:17 Understanding private lending terms

13:11 Moving 401k to self-directed IRA

16:20 Reasons Kristy Aasheim Invested

19:10 Discussing self-directed IRAs

20:19 Learning to raise Private Money

26:22 Buying foreclosed homes creatively

29:10 Explaining loan-to-value and interest rates

30:59 Real estate exit strategies

34:07 Private Money vs. Hard Money 

Connect With Jay Conner: 

Private Money Academy Conference: 

https://www.ThePrivateMoneyConference.com 

Free Report:

https://www.jayconner.com/MoneyReport

Join the Private Money Academy: 

https://www.JayConner.com/trial/

Have you read Jay’s new book, Where to Get the Money Now?

It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at