Your Sister, Kimber
Your Sister, Kimber
Ep.45 Using Lament to Battle Loneliness
Kimber talks about a style of poetry found in Scripture, particularly in the Psalms, called lament, and how we can use this style of prayer to bring our hurts and loneliness to God. She shares her own journey practicing lament, as well as an original spoken word poem that melds lines from Psalm 22 with her own expressions of grief and loneliness.
By the end of this quick listen, she prays you are drawn to carve out your own time of authentic prayer and lament to the Lord as a means to walk through loneliness with and toward Jesus.
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Hey friends. Welcome to the, your sister Kimber podcast. My name is Kimberly Gilbert, and I'm so glad you're here. I don't know about you, but most of my favorite Bible verses are pretty positive, hopeful at least. But the Bible is also full of passages that maybe make us squirm. If we're just looking for a feel good. Pick me up. or that feel really on the nose relatable. If we're walking through a tough season. Today, we're digging into this kind of passage specifically. the genre of lament in scripture. And how we can use lament both limits from scripture directly and just the style of prayer in our own prayer lives to battle the loneliness that we're experiencing. I hope our chat today helps you grow authentic community. Friendships honor God and draw closer to Jesus. And, you know, I wish we could dig into this idea over coffee together, but this is the next best thing. I'm so glad you're here, friend. Let's get started. Isn't it always, when you think you're over something that it Springs back up. I hadn't felt feelings of loneliness for a while until the other day. When it came at me out of nowhere. I had heard that some friends were going out one evening and I hadn't been invited. This was totally fine. And under normal circumstances, this would have even felt totally fine to anything. They weren't my closest friends anyway. So it's not like an invite was even expected. Plus I was home solo with my kid anyway that night. So it's not like I would've been able to go anyway. And what's more. More, I literally already had friends coming over that night. You guys like there was absolutely zero reason that I should be feeling loneliness in that moment. So as I noticed what I was feeling, I tried to put into practice what we've been talking about here on the podcast lately. So I felt it, I let myself be sad for a bit, even though in the back of my mind, I was like, you are crazy. This is rational. Tried to let it just be for a minute and just accept it as something I was feeling, even though it didn't feel valid or logical to me. And then I started to ask the question. That Susie Edwards taught us a few weeks ago on the podcast. This was the question. What am I lonely for here? Like for me, I don't think it was friendship in that actual moment because I had people coming over later. And I'm not even super close with those who I was feeling FOMO over. Like, did I need time with God? Did I need time for myself? What was I really lonely for? What was really going on in my heart? And through some prayer. I honestly think friends. That it was just some cabin fever talking. I'm super overwinter right now. I think I was just feeling kind of trapped, like hubby out of town, solo parenting. Like, yeah, that, that fits. That makes sense. But all this to say, I think that there is such power in giving our emotions space to breathe in our lives. Whether you're in a season right now where the loneliness just feels really pervasive. Or if it hits you more randomly, like it did me the other day. I really think allowing yourself to feel it. And ask questions can be so powerful in allowing it to drive us toward what our hearts are truly logging for, which might or might not be what you initially would have thought. And scripture backs this up to. Today. I want to take a moment with you guys to talk about the idea of lament, which is a form of expression that we see in scripture. Particularly in a lot of times in the Psalms. element is essentially an outpouring of grief to God. And friends. I think that we're really good in our culture at the art of ranting. But I don't think we're so good at the art of lament. C laments model authors pouring out their hearts, their complaints, their confessions to God, with authenticity and vulnerability. And we see similarities between rant and lament, right? Both ramps and laments are honest. Usually both of them reveal anger or frustration or sadness. But where ranting accuses Lament is going to acknowledge pain and grief. And there's a difference there. Where ranting we'll eventually, usually just kind of spit her out and die. Lament it actually rebuilds our faith. Where ranting is visionless lament. Recenters us on the Lord. And so today I want to share with you a bit about one such lament Psalm 22. It's a messianic Psalm, which just means that we see lots of prophetic imagery of Jesus on the cross in David's words, but they were also his reality. It's not like he was only writing prophetically about the Messiah. Like he felt this too. And so we can follow his example in expressing this kind of grief to God as well. So I want to read it for you. And then I'm going to share some of my own writing inspired by this Psalm. In a little bit. So this is what Psalm 22 says. Says my God, my God. Why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far away? When I grown for help? Every day I call to you my God, but you do not answer. Every night, I lift my voice, but I find no relief. Yeah, you are wholly. And throned on the praises of Israel. Our ancestors trusted in you and you rescued them. They cried out to you and were saved. They trusted in you and were never disgraced. But I am a worm and not a man. I'm scorned and despised by all. Everyone who sees me mocks me, they sneer and shake their heads saying, is this the one who relies on the Lord and let the Lord save him? If the Lord loves him so much, let the Lord rescue him. Yet you brought me safely from my mother's womb. And led me to trust you at my mother's breast. I was thrust into your arms at my birth. You have been my God from the moment I was born. Do not stay so far from me. For trouble is near and no one else can help me. My enemies surround me like a herd of bowls. Fierce bulls of Bashan have hemmed me in. I like lions. They open their jaws against me, roaring and tearing into their prey. My life is poured out like water. And all my bones are out of joint. My heart is like wax melting within me. My strength has dried up like sun baked clay. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. You have laid me in the dust and left me for dead. My enemy surround me like a pack of dogs and evil gang closes in on me. They've pierced my hands and feet. I can count all my bones, my enemies stare at me and gloat. They divide my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment. Oh, Lord do not stay far away. You are my strength come quickly to my aid. Save me from the sword spare. My precious life from these dogs snatched me from the lions jaws and from the horns of these wild oxen. I will proclaim your name to my brothers and sisters. I will praise you among your assembled people. Praise the Lord. All you fear him. Honor him all you descendants of Jacob. Show him reverence all you descendants of Israel for he has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy. He has not turned his back on them. But has listened to their cries for help. I will praise you in the greatest assembly. I will fulfill my vows in the presence of those who worship you. The poor will eat and be satisfied. All who seek the Lord will praise him. Their hearts will rejoice with everlasting joy. The whole earth will acknowledge the Lord and return to him. All of the families of the nations will bow down before him for Royal power belongs to the Lord. He rules all the nations. All the rich of the earth will feast and worship. All who go down to the dust will kneel before him. Those who cannot keep themselves alive. Posterity we'll serve him. Future generations will be told about the Lord. They will proclaim his righteousness, declaring to a people yet on board. He has done it. Ah, I love this Psalm. Did you catch any of the references to the cross? The first line? My God, my God. Why have you forsaken me? Which Jesus quotes on the cross to his hands being pierced or gambling over his clothes. And there's lots more. And I think it's such a beautiful picture of how Jesus takes on our pain. David felt these things during his life. And he wrote them out as a prayer to God. And then years later on the cross, his descendant. Who was also God. And so heard them from David when he first pet them. And grew up reading them as part of his cultural songs. He then repeats them back to God. In his own moment of anguish. Echoing David, and just all of humanity's broken heart at the weight of sin. Friend. Jesus gets us. Authentically completely. He understands our broken hearts, both from a perspective of hearing our, every cry from heaven and from when he was down, living it with us. Hey friend, forgive me for taking a quick moment in this conversation. Ask a favor of you. I hope what I'm sharing today is blessing you. And if so, would you take a moment to rate and review the show on apple podcasts? Reviews are huge and helping me friends find the show and bonuses. I love reading. What's blessing you from the podcast. You can find the link to leave a review and the description of this episode. So thanks so much for taking a second to do that. Okay. Back to the show. I find two things most inspiring about this kind of poem, the honesty and the endings. Some of the content you'll find in lemons are downright gnarly. They're pictures of people in true pain, bringing God the whole of it. And we can imitate their vulnerability with our father. He can handle the full spectrum of human emotions and scripture seems to demonstrate that he even welcomes it when we trust him with our authentic hearts in this way. The endings of laments though. They're what really get me. Not always, but often the poets of laments find themselves at the end of their pain, in a place of praise. And so is the case with Psalm 22. It's as if they've poured out all the junk. On the floor. At the Lord's feet. And once it's out of their heads, out of their hearts before him. All that's left to come out of their hearts is praise. And I think this is the trick that the enemy doesn't want us to catch emptying your heart of complaints or anger or hurts. All the emotions that feel too messy or improper for God. is actually the very action that can unearth the foundation of our souls. Of trust, faith and hope in the goodness of God. It's almost as though the junk of our hearts, like covers it up or gets tamped down on and blocks out the foundation that we have. Of trust and faith and hope in our lives. It covers it up. But putting the pain out there to God. It lets the light breathe. In our hearts. And there really is no one who is better equipped to handle all of that junk and care for our hurt hearts in those moments. Then the Lord. So the next time that it feels like loneliness is like suffocating your soul. I invite you to stop stuffing and instead. I practice lament with the Lord. It's an exercise that stretches me as I personally am really quick to rationalize and fix things. But lament helps me sit in what I'm feeling with the Lord. Not in isolation. So today I want to share with you a poem that I've written with Psalm 22. And the idea of lament in mind. I wrote this when I first wanted to try practicing lament, but felt a little bit lost on how to do that on my own. So I decided to just follow the model of Psalm 22. And basically I was weaving as many of the lines of David's poem into my own that I could while still making it authentic to my experience, my voice and my message. And doing this, it allowed me to reflect on this idea of lament and just how this practice can bring us to the feet of Jesus, where we are comforted by the assurance that he. He understands our loneliness more deeply than anyone, and that he made a way for us to never have to experience it fully in the way that he did. So here's feeling forsaken from Psalm 22. My God, my God. Why have you forsaken me? It's an easy thing to cry at night when the light seems distant and strange when decay feels more apt than. Staying strength. Why are you so far away? When I grown for help? Like I'm just out here alone, a known. There's no one I can truly trust or ask for help. So every day I call to you by God. But you did not answer. the.dot dots unending. And I just really can't keep pretending that I think you're listening. Every night. I lift my voice. But no response, no relief, not even a noise from you. And yet. My holy god I look to the faithful before me. They trusted in you and you rescued them. From loneliness and strain from sickness and shame. They cried out to you. And we're saved. They trusted you. They were never disgraced. And it's a lovely story, but really is it for me? God's good. God's glory. Do I really want the Lord to save me? I just want a friend. Belonging. But. Like a worm eating dirt. I can't even see. That I'm hurt when I shoot myself in the foot. Denying your rescue, your closeness, your compassion. Literally for me, my first accusation, it's just a nearsighted copy of your words on the cross. When all of it. You lost. Your friends and your mother, and for a bit, even God, the father. Uh, loneliness. So profound felt in your bones felt by the ground. Darkness swirled all around the very sun, blocking it out. By what felt like disaster? The death of hope, a savior no more. But your life poured out like water is the ultimate power to melt. My waxen waving heart. My strength is dried up like sun baked clay. Mouth dry, but maybe I could whisper your name. My rescue. Jesus Lord, please. Don't stay so far away. You heard my only strength. Please. Come to my aid. My anger. Melts. At Jesus' gays. Because now it's not your back. I see. It's Jesus. On his knees praying take this cup from me. God, why have you left me? Friends. Can't you pray with me? Loneliness. As familiar to you. As it is to me. My great high priest. The one who gets me the deepest parts of me sees my anguish, hears my please. When he silent. He's still next to me. Listening. And like hope Springs, a new, you walked out of your own tomb as easily as you brought me safely from my mother's womb. Intimacy and relationship accessible. And renewed. The father in reach, never asleep. Jesus for sake, him. It closed the distance. So I never have to know as deep as he did. In my broken bones. the loneliness that could only come from the father turning away. Jesus has never ignored me. Rolled his eyes at my morning. He doesn't belittle the needy. He gets it completely. He lived loneliness fully. He will never turn his back. He's listening to my, every cry for help. How do I know? Verse 10. It reminds me. I was thrust into your arms at my birth. Held close. Loved completely. Not alone, not forsaken, not unheard. Swaddled carefully. And tonight I'm reminded by David's hurt. By his honest, cutting words, that feeling forsaken. Doesn't mean it's true. There's a good plan in store for me. In store for you. You have been my God. From the moment I was born. A friend of mine shared internet one time that we never have to feel forsaken because Jesus was forsaken on our behalf. Jesus understands these deep feelings of loneliness and isolation that arise in our hearts. And this is the fine line. We get to walk as followers of Jesus. Even though feeling our loneliness can be useful and healthy and growth inducing. We don't have to stay stuck there. When we're in Christ, we might feel alone at times, but we don't dwell alone ever. And friends, I think such a realization can only drive us to our knees and worship. Like what a good God. What a friend we have in Jesus. That all our griefs, he can. And did bear. Amen. Friends. I'm so glad you could join me today on the, your sister Kimber podcast I think today's conversation about using lament to process. Our feelings of loneliness was a bit of a microcosm of lament. We went deep and dark, But praise God that as Christ followers, we get to end on that note of victory and rescue in Jesus. I'm so thankful for that living hope that reminds me. That my present chiles are temporary and light. In light of eternity with my deliver. So friends today, I've got just two things for you. As we wrap up our time together. First, are you part of my newsletter crew? When you subscribe on my website, you get my weekly newsletter directly to your email inbox with a preview of what will be featured on the podcast that week. Plus it has a link to this month's blog post. And some other resources and tips to help you grow friendships that honor God and draw closer to Jesus. If you don't get that yet, just head over to my website to join the link is in the description of this episode. And while you're there, if you haven't yet, we download my new free resource. I want you to have it. It's called 20 facts to know about your friends. And it's designed to help you collect some simple, yet useful facts about your friends, about their lives. They likes how their minds work to help you love them. Well, down the road, this is like playing the long game kind of thing. You can find it on my website. So be sure to grab that while you're there too. Friends. Thanks so much for being part of this community until next time. It's your sister Kimber.
