Ep. 52 Being the Friend You Need

Kimber launches a new series called Being the Friend You Need with series guest co-host Meghan Fravel.  Kimber and Meghan share the vision for this series and its inspiration, and talk about a few of the conversations they're most excited for this summer. They discuss some important contexts for the series and how growing in our relationship with Jesus will always lead to growth in our friendships, as well.

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Transcript

Kimber: 0:09

hey friends. Welcome to the, your sister Kimber podcast. My name is Kimber Gilbert, and I'm so glad you're here today. We're kicking off our new summer series called being the friend you need. And we'll be digging into the qualities of a friend that we might want to look for as we're pursuing authentic friendships. But even more than that, we'll be learning how we can lead the way by seeking to grow ourselves as being the kind of friends that we want in our lives. And while being a thoughtful friend who like brings coffee or always remembers your birthday is great. The kind of friend that we really need and the kind that we can be. That will really bless our people in the deepest ways. Is a friend who is pursuing holiness and a deeper relationship with Jesus. He is the source of community. So when we grow with him, our friendships benefit too. And during this series, I can't wait to dig in topics like prayer, confession, worship morning, listening to the holy spirit and more to learn how growing in these aspects of our spiritual lives can spill out into our friendships to. I'm also excited to introduce you guys to my friend, Megan phrasal, who will be joining me as a special guest co-host for this summer series. She has such a heart for friendship and community, just like I do. So I pray our conversations help you grow authentic community in your life and friendships that honor God and draw closer to Jesus. I wish we could snag a table for three and talk this out over an iced coffee because hello summer. But this is the next best thing. I'm so glad you hear friend. Let's get started. hello friends. Welcome to this new series that we are diving into today on the podcast. I'm so excited to introduce you guys, uh, not just to today's guest, but this is gonna be a special guest host for this series over the course of the summer. Megan Frak is joining us today and I am just so excited to tag team with her and we're gonna be kind of diving into this new series, uh, about being the friend you need. And so I'm so excited to have you with me today, Megan, and we don't have to just talk about all the things today. We get to like spread our conversation out, which is gonna be so fun.

Meghan: 2:23

I know it's awesome. Hi, I'm so excited for this summer.

Kimber: 2:27

Will you go ahead and introduce yourself or our friends listening who may not know you, although you are a returner to the podcast.

Meghan: 2:32

Yes, I know. I'm so excited. First of all, thanks for asking me to do this cuz I'm really excited about it and glad, uh, yeah, just the topics and everything is gonna be a great summer and I'm really excited to just be talking with my friend and new friends, so be

Kimber: 2:46

That's the good stuff, right? That's what we love.

Meghan: 2:49

yes, but I'm Megan Frak. For those of you who don't know who I am, um, I. Live in Alaska with Kimber and I am married to my husband Justin. We've been married for, um, it'll be 17 years this fall, and we have four kiddos spanning from 14 to six, and I work part-time at our church. As a first impressions coordinator, I have a couple homeschool kids. I have one in public school. We got a nice mixed bag with that. And um, I am usually out, especially with summer approaching, we'll be outside all day every day, but I also love ice cream and movies, so I'm pretty well, well rounded, active and lazy all at the same time. So, yeah, that's

Kimber: 3:32

are, those were really good things. What is your, what are you most excited for? With the summer?

Meghan: 3:36

Ooh. Um, well it's been, as you know, a long winter. So honestly, I'm just excited to see flowers and I got really excited, um, the other day cuz it was like 50 degrees, which for all of us in Alaska was I, I was in

Kimber: 3:51

Yeah.

Meghan: 3:51

and my flip flops. Um, but I saw like three butterflies and I like, Kind of freaked out. I was so excited. Cause I'm like, summer's coming,

Kimber: 3:59

You're like a little, A little toddler who sees a butterfly for the first time. You're like, whoa. Oh

Meghan: 4:05

I was very excited. Um, yeah. So I'm just excited for that. Yeah. And then just all the community that summer brings here, it's just everyone just kind of conjoins together. So, um, that and flowers.

Kimber: 4:16

Hmm. That's so true. I love it. Megan, you have such a heart for community, which is one way that we first connected, which I just love so much. And, uh, one reason that I'm so excited to talk with you on the podcast for this series, cuz I know that this is something like really dear to your heart as well and so I feel like we have a kinship over that, which I love. Um, and you have also podcasted before. And so, um, I'm excited to like, rejoin you in this world. Um, what is it about podcasting that you enjoy doing? Like, what is the draw for you here?

Meghan: 4:47

I think I love, what I love about podcasts in general is just that it. I feel like it connects us to so many different people. And, I love that I can just get in my car on the way to the grocery store and I feel like I'm almost in a discussion with a friend, even though I might not have a part in it. Um, just listening to it as a, as a listener. but I think I get the ability to kind of hone in and just kind of share like what's in my heart that I don't necessarily always get to just sit and have a cup of coffee with someone and share, but just that dive deep. Um, Part of the, of the talker, and I am an extrovert, so any chance I can to, to talk isn't that,

Kimber: 5:23

Right. I feel like you, you and I, we could, like, if our whole days were just like back to back meetings of like getting to talk to people about life and stuff like that would be a good day. Like for me. Is that accurate?

Meghan: 5:37

Yeah. So I feel like podcasting's almost like having a coffee, like I, I get to just sit

Kimber: 5:41

It's like when you can't do that all day, you get to do

Meghan: 5:45

And for me as a, as a listener, it literally, this might be really weird, I don't know if you're like this, but when I know that I'm not gonna see my friends this on a day, I will listen to some podcasts because I feel like I'm hearing people talk

Kimber: 5:57

that's like the,

Meghan: 5:58

me

Kimber: 5:59

the extrovert level expert, like, oh, that's

Meghan: 6:03

see my friends, but I got to hear Jess Connolly on her podcast talking, and I laughed and felt like I was a part of something.

Kimber: 6:09

Yeah, no, I think it's true. I think it connects us and that's one reason I wonder if like, I think especially like moms or even just like, you know, busy working life, women of our age, I feel like we're really drawn to podcasting. I think part of it is because it's like that connection when you feel like life is too busy for connection and so, you know, in one way. I love that because I think it, um, It like fills us up in a way, like getting to share that, those conversations in a, in a small part. but then also like the flip side of that is then like, okay, but we have to make sure we're, we're getting the real thing too. Which I know is not a problem for you. But, um, but you know, I think that's, I think that's kind of the draw though, is that we, like, we need these kind of conversations with people and so podcasting can meet that need when we don't have the ability to do it in person. But of course we wanna make sure that's not. That we're not substituting

Meghan: 7:05

Right. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And it's just really cool that we are in a world where I can literally go on a, the podcast app and search for anything I want. And there's something like if I'm like, I wanna learn how to like raise bees, like I can look up beekeeping and you know, so you get that kind of, I don't have somebody my immediate

Kimber: 7:25

Yeah.

Meghan: 7:25

life that I could just, I just want a little more wisdom in this area than search for it. So it's really awesome. I think it's such a great tool.

Kimber: 7:31

If there was like a, hobby that you could learn that's like really random like that, like beekeeping, if you were like, I'm gonna go out and learn to do something, is there anything that's like percolating in your head, like, I would love to learn to do this.

Meghan: 7:46

Um, so baking, because I don't bake, like I, I literally can't, and I just got my first KitchenAid mixer like last week.

Kimber: 7:54

Oh good.

Meghan: 7:56

So I, I

Kimber: 7:57

You've arrived.

Meghan: 7:58

I've arrived. I feel like an adult now that I finally have a KitchenAid mixer. so hopefully I could actually learn to make my kids like cookies for my kids that, that don't. I just started doing sourdough cuz all my friends have now started doing. I. The sourdough thing and like, I'm not even kidding when I tell you like all 2020 when that was such a huge deal, I could not bake bread. I tried so hard and it's like my family, it's like a joke now, like mom's making cookies. Like, oh no, mom's trying to make bread again. Oh boy. And I. My sweet, one of our sweet mutual friends has been just my, I call her like my little sourdough sensei cause she's just like teaching me all the things. And I made my first love of bread and it

Kimber: 8:39

Did

Meghan: 8:40

good. I did. It was so good. You would've thought I won a gold medal in my uh, family cuz they high fives. I got texts from my husband like, oh my gosh, I can't believe you actually did it.

Kimber: 8:50

That's so funny. I love that. They were so excited too. I mean, because they probably benefited

Meghan: 8:55

Oh yes. And then mean, and I've been like, just try it. It's not that bad. And I was like, Hmm. It's like this dense

Kimber: 9:02

Right, right.

Meghan: 9:03

brick. Yeah. So I did it. I did it. So it's a big, yeah. So baking, if I could get good at one thing, that would be it. Yeah. What about you?

Kimber: 9:11

Um, I feel like for me, that made me think of actually like canning. Like that's something that I've been talking about, like, oh, I should do this, I should do this, I should do this. Which makes us sound very domestic and I don't know. I love lots of other things too,

Meghan: 9:22

I just learned how to can salmon, like with Sarah, our

Kimber: 9:25

Yeah. yeah,

Meghan: 9:27

we did canned salmon a couple weeks ago and it's awesome. I'd love to do that too. So many things.

Kimber: 9:31

I know there's so many things, but I do love that the podcast world is one of the ways that we can explore those things. It's good. Although I will say if I could listen to a podcast or just have my friend come and teach me in my kitchen, it's gonna be the

Meghan: 9:44

Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Oh yeah, 100%. But if you know, if there isn't one, that's always an option.

Kimber: 9:50

what you got. Cool. Well, Megan, I'm so excited to kind of dig into what our series coming up is gonna be talking about today. We're just gonna be looking at some of the ideas that are gonna be birthed out of this series, I hope, and the direction that we're going. Um, we're gonna be calling it being the Friend You Need. And so my heart for this series is really around this. Idea of, and we probably all heard this phrase or this idea of, hey, be the friend that you're looking for, the friend that you need. I think that comes from that. Um, what is it, like a Gandhi quote that's like, be the change you wanna see in the world. Right. I think it probably comes from that idea. but it's like, I think we, as we're looking for our friendships in the world, we should. Be not just saying, this is the kind of person that I want to have as a friend. This is, you know, that looks like someone that I would love to hang out with. But also we should be reflecting on like, okay, what are the qualities about those people that are drawing me to them? And then how can I. In my own life, like be exemplifying those things because otherwise we're just looking to people to like meet our needs rather than like, Hey, I see something in that person and so I want to pursue that myself. So that's kind of where I'm hoping and like my heart behind this, what is like your first thoughts that come up as you think of this series title being the Friend You Need and those kind of friendship themes?

Meghan: 11:11

Yeah, no, I, I totally agree with you on that. And I think that to be the friend that we need first needs to start with like taking a look at our life as I was just thinking about it, of what in my life do I have to offer and what areas in my life do I need to grow? Because if I want a friend who's really trusting, I need to look and say, but am I a trusting friend? And so there is a level of like ownership in that, that can be really hard to look at those things in our life and go, I want those things, but that's maybe not quite where I'm at yet. And I think being honest about that is the first step. And then getting those like, Hey, I, I see that you are so good at prayer. I wanna get better. And that can be a great way to start that friendship too. But you're, you're on that journey as well. And so taking that look, that pause of. I have this list maybe of things that I want in a friend, but where am I at on these?

Kimber: 12:01

Yeah, because as we're, I don't know about you. I feel like Things that I look for in my friends have even changed. And so it's like I feel like I even need to evaluate that a little bit for myself as you know, my life seasons change as I just grow as a person, you know, in good ways. Or maybe even as I go through things in my life that are hard or you know, just like season changes. Like I wanna be evaluating kind of constantly. Or at least regularly, like, Hey, what are the kind of people that I want to surround myself with right now? And so as I was reflecting on this a little bit, I think that like those things have shifted for me, uh, in some ways, not in every way, but um, I was thinking back to when I was younger and like in my early twenties and even in like high school and stuff. I think that I put a lot more premium on the. Kind of impression or aura that people gave off? Like not aura in like a spiritual sense, but like just in

Meghan: 13:02

the vibe.

Kimber: 13:03

Yes. Yeah. Um, and it was like if, if someone was like, you know, charismatic or impressive to me, I feel like that. Drew me to them. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. but I feel like now I'm like almost a little skeptical of that because I, it, it has in, sometimes it has led me astray. Not always, but in some ways it's like obviously the heart of a person is way deeper than, you know, that those external experiences and, um, I think about what. Like the Lord tells Samuel when he's looking for the next king, and he is like Samuel's looking at all of these impressive looking brothers of David. And David's like, you know, this like little scrawny shepherd kid, you know, he is like totally discounted. Um, and he is like, God looks at the heart. And so thinking about that with our friendships, like, you know, that's right. Like I see that as I grow older, I feel like I see more and more evidence for that being the thing that I really need to be looking for. But it's like, as a human, like as a person, I'm just drawn to certain things. Right? And so I feel like it's not a bad thing always like. You know, what you're drawn to is maybe kind of just natural, but it's like, being able to know that that's not the whole story is maybe the most important thing for me there that I've seen. How do you think it's shifted or changed for you? How you kind of like look for friends and

Meghan: 14:29

Yeah. Yeah. Well thankfully it's shifted from, cause I definitely, I know that, um, I think the big thing for me has been honesty and truth telling. so I know like probably in my teens, my early twenties for sure, I had a few experiences where I had friends that would come to me with. Just things they were seeing in my life and wanting me to be a better person. But I saw that as such a threat and the most like unloving thing that you could do is to tell me the truth that I, I did. I walked away from some of those or just really shut myself down. And then thankfully, like with. The Lord's work in my heart, my life, realizing they were actually doing the opposite. They were doing the most loving thing possible by saying, Hey, like, we want better for you. And so I think now that's like the thing that I actually look for the most is like, are you willing to tell me the hard stuff, and, and then working on my heart to be able to receive it well, you know, and so it never feels awesome, but

Kimber: 15:26

Right,

Meghan: 15:27

Oh, but it is like if, if you can. Look me now and tell me the truth, and we're like, good to go. So, um, I think that's definitely been a big thing where before I'd be like, Ooh, I'm not sure. And now it's like the thing I crave the most in a friendship. Yeah.

Kimber: 15:40

How do you feel like, was it just like you started to see the fruit of like letting them tell the truth or what, like helped you make that switch?

Meghan: 15:48

I think just growing. I honestly growing in my faith. With the Lord. I think the Holy Spirit, like really? I can't think of like an exact like moment. It just all clicked in my head. But, you know, one ex I think I've actually, I don't know if I've shared it with you but, you know, I had a friend that that just shared some things in my life that I needed to, that they were seeing. And not anything like catastrophically bad, but just, hey, like, I want better for you in this. And I think just taking an honest look at that years later of Wow and just growing in other friendships and actually seeing like that was actually a really loving thing. And the whole like principle stabbing in the front. Like I'd much rather have a friend stabbing me in the front than the back. um, and so, you know, and I've gone back to them and been like, you know what? You actually being really loving and I didn't take it that way and I'm sorry. So I don't know if it was like. A specific thing that the light bulbs clicked, but just as I just got more refined in my faith and God just doing a lot of

Kimber: 16:41

yeah.

Meghan: 16:42

of, that, so

Kimber: 16:43

Yeah. Well I love that you mentioned that too, because I feel like that is something that I really wanna focus on in this series is like, I love, I'm all about practical stuff. Like I'm all about tips and tricks, but tips and tricks aren't going to like transform our relationships because the only thing that like transforms our lives is Jesus, like the power of the Holy Spirit working in us. And so of course that applies to. The specific area of friendship as well, so like we need. The transformative power of the gospel in our friendships as well. And so as we're looking at this series, that's like where I wanna focus is like, okay, what are these areas that like transform us across the board? And then how do they specifically apply to friendship? Which I'm super excited to marry those things because I think that. Sometimes they get shoved into different sectors like, you know, church life or like my personal bible study, my personal faith. And then like, oh, how I do friendship is over here. But, I don't think that's true. I don't, I don't think that's true. And so, um, there one of the, people that I like to listen to, um, speaking of podcast world is Jackie Hill Perry.

Meghan: 17:47

I love her. Oh yeah. I love Jackie. I love her podcast in her books

Kimber: 17:52

Yeah. Yeah, she's incredible. And around the time when I was kind of, brainstorming or working up this series, I came across, I think it was just like a, a like clip on Instagram or something that was about her talking about on one of her episodes of their podcast, um, talking about friendship and something that she was saying. It actually came across to me as sort of like, Oh, like, I don't know. I don't know how I feel. Is that right? Like I wa you know, like where you kind of question, you're like, I don't know if I agree with that. and so I went and listened to the full episode, which is a great practice. If you hear a clip of something and you're like, I don't know about that, go listen to the full context, um, because it's very helpful. But essentially what she was saying is like, she's like, I'm not looking for. Friends right now who aren't like pursuing Holiness. And I, and I think it hit me a little weird at first because I was like, well, okay, but like, shouldn't we not be like, I don't know, judgemental of that? Or like, shouldn't we have, we should have friends who aren't Christians too, right? Like, and so went and listened to the full episode and um, you know, she ended up talking some about like, you know, you're, yeah, you're gonna have friends in all different. Like walks of life, different places in their spiritual journeys. Right. that's, that's great. But it's like, who are your closest people? Like, who is speaking into your life? Like who is, who are you bouncing things off of? Like who is, who's the iron sharpening your iron? And if those people who are like your closest people, your core people speaking into your life, if they're not pursuing holiness as, you know, not as imperfection, but is in becoming more and more like Christ as their highest goal, then that's gonna impact your friendships. And so that was really impactful to me because I, I feel like, It's easy to think of these things as separate spheres, as, you know. Oh, I, I have friends, but they don't necessarily, we can believe different things like, you know, we can, go about life differently. Do life differently, and, well, that's true to an extent. I think it's the question of who is really speaking into your life and who is your closest people? Because, you know, it's not about like, Curating a crew with exclusivity or anything, it's more like I need to acknowledge that my closest people do impact the type of person I'm becoming. And so talking about being the friend you need, who we need is, we need friends who are pursuing holiness to be our, our very closest And so, that just really hit me and, challenged me a little bit,

Meghan: 20:25

Yeah. That's so good. Yeah, I love that. Um, I, yeah, I love Jackie Hill Perry, and I couldn't agree with that more. I can totally see where you're like, wait, how is this gonna pan out? But it's true. So, um, when I was in middle school, you know, middle school girls can be a lot and, uh, you know, and you're trying to fit in and figure out where you're at. And my mom actually, uh, one of the things that sticks out to me the most is she had me stand on a chair. And she was talking to me about influence and about how people have influence on you. And my, cuz my response is I can be a good influence on them and I can be, you know, all these things. And so she had me stand on one of their kitchen chairs and she was standing next to me and she goes, I want you to try to pull me up on the chair. And of course I couldn't, but she could yank me down real fast. He's like, see, this is what is gonna happen when you let your, the closest friends who aren't great influence, who aren't impacting you well, aren't bringing you closer to God, they're gonna bring you down. Really quick, even if you have the best intentions in the world, and I think that's so true in a way of. Who you're closest to is gonna impact who you are. um, and that's not to say that we can't, of course we need to have people in our life that we're like pouring into and have ministry with, but that's not necessarily the person I'm gonna go to when my marriage is struggling or my kids are going through something really hard, or I'm in the middle of something really deep and I need someone to pour God's holiness back into me. And. Pour his words back in. and so if, so, we need friends that are doing that same thing and we're gonna find ourselves in wilderness seasons and we're gonna find ourselves where that's gonna be hard. But we're still like seeking that and trying that. And then that's when our community gets to come in and be like, I know you're going through this, but let me like help push

Kimber: 22:02

Hmm.

Meghan: 22:02

up for you. but we can't, we can't do that. Cuz if we're always got that friends like, well then do this or try this, believe in this, then. It's gonna be real easy as we're trying thinking we're going here that now we've just veered off course so far. so I think that close circle definitely needs to be that.

Kimber: 22:17

Yeah. I love the, way that you said that of it's when the metaphorical poo hits the fan, right? Like, Like, that is when you really realize. Oh, like who I am friends with, like my closest friends. That matters because like you said, there's people that we can pour into that we can, be, I think just like, uh, I dunno, casual friends sounds like a, a weird term, but like you can be friends with someone, but that doesn't mean you're going to trust them in your hardest moments to speak truth into your life. And I, and so I think that is like such a helpful dichotomy because it's like, if you are. In just a pretty chill season and like things are going okay, it may not seem like a big deal, who I spend, you know. I go to the movies with, or who I, have play dates with or whatever. but it's like, who am I gonna be talking to when things get really hard and things get really rough because like you said, it's gonna like mirror back to me or pour truth back into me depending on who I'm speaking to. And so, um, I think that's a really helpful dynamic. One way that I think of it sometimes that, that helps me because I think it is so important that we don't just have like this holy huddle. I hear it called a lot of the time where it's like, you know, I only have Christian friends around me and that's my entire circle. you know, I think it's, I think it's so important to. Diversify simply in the fact that we are to be salt and light, right? Like that is part of our mission, and it's not just to be comfortable with people who agree with us, right? Like we are to be salt and light in the world. And so I, I do think that aspect is important, but then one of the ways that I. Kind of manage that. I guess in my head, cuz I feel like I can get really murky is I think of it like concentric circles of closeness in my friendships a lot of the time. And it's like, I might have like at the very center is like, I guess the very, very center should be me and the Lord, right? Like that should be my number one closest relationship, the one that I tell everything to and. Of course, uh, we all know very well that I'm not perfect. And so that is, um, something I'm aspiring to. I would not say that's always my reality, but it's definitely something that I know is of value. Um, and then I think it should be my husband, right? Because he needs to be my best friend. And, uh, if I'm gonna tell my girlfriend about something, I probably should have told him, uh, which again, I'm, I don't always. Do great at that. And so that's a challenge. But then I have like my, my next closest, probably my closest people. And that, that center circle to me is where really we're talking about here, I think most is like, these are the people that like you're gonna tell everything to that, you're gonna go to in your hardest moments that you really trust to, like you said, um, speak honestly to you and like. Tell the truth to you. And if those people don't even share my same worldview, regarding like that, you know, Jesus is my savior and like my life is a gift, God, God glory. If they don't agree with even those central things, I feel like. That, that's gonna fracture our ability to like really take care of each other well. and then from there, it's like my circles go out to like, maybe village or like community to acquaintances, you know, and on out. But I think kind of like minding those circles and like being aware of who's in which one and therefore how am I trusting them. I think that can maybe help, that helps me to kind of keep this dynamic straight in my mind and give me room for these relationships that maybe aren't Christ-centered, but are still important. Um, mission field or just bring me joy or whatever. Um, but know that they're not the most central ones. How do you feel like for you, you kind of balance this idea that like not all of our friendships are going to be. The, you know, that, that called holiness. Like not all of our friendships are going to be about that. Um, but how do we still love those people? Well, how do you feel like you balance kind of those things?

Meghan: 26:15

Well, I think that first, like the best. Picture of this was in the bi was Jesus. Jesus did this so well in the Bible and he really had those circles. Like obviously

Kimber: 26:25

he did.

Meghan: 26:25

everyone and showed

Kimber: 26:27

of his thing.

Meghan: 26:28

compassion kind of a thing. Um, to the people that everyone had cast out as unlovable and unworthy. Like he really broke down those walls of we need to extend ourselves to these people and they are just as worthy as. We are, you know, of love. And then as they, it got closer, you got Lazarus and you've got Mary and Martha and and then you have the disciples and you had his 12. But then within that 12 there was still his three that he really told everything too. So I think the first thing is looking at that. It's done so well that Jesus has did that. And it is, it is hard. And I think for a long time I lived with this, like everyone has to have full access and and then so people that start speaking into my life that probably should have had no, like nowhere near should have had the access that they had.

Kimber: 27:16

Yeah.

Meghan: 27:16

and so I look at it as who in my life is. On the receiving end of that, who's, who's the one that is calling me, that sees me as a person that can be the truth teller that is there, knows that I'm gonna be there. And, and that kind of helps me gauge, they're in, they're in my circle, but they've earned that trust. They're asking for that trust. There's that give and take that's happening. Um, because obviously God is our number one, our husbands. If you, if you're married and your spouse and then, yeah. And then that core three who are. Who are showing themselves that they're going to show up, that they're praying, that they're pursuing holiness just as hard on their own race and cheerleading for yours along the way. Um, yeah. But still not feeling like you're building up walls. We don't wanna build walls,

Kimber: 28:01

Right? Yeah. That's another aspect of it, right? Like, oh, you're not in my exclusive inner circle or something. That's not right. That's not of the

Meghan: 28:11

Yeah, I I, heard something that was kind of like, I think it was more talking about boundaries, but like, you don't do walls, you do fences, you do gates. And so being able that, there's gonna be people that maybe started out as more acquaintance, that as time goes on, they're gonna maybe move up or seasons change and life things happen. And maybe someone from that closer is gonna, you know, that, which we've talked about, just that. Kind of moving in and out of those spheres a little bit, you know? And so, and that's o that's okay too. So be open to that.

Kimber: 28:39

Right, because sometimes I think the Lord is. Behind a lot of that. Like, you know, like, Hey, this, this is the person that I've put in your life right now. And it's like, you know, he's like thumping you on the head trying to get you to realize that like they're a person who he has given you to help you through this time, or just to be a good friend to you. And so it's like sometimes we have to be aware, like, oh, like there's a gate. Like they could come into this circle, right? For this time. Yeah. And people, people can sometimes leave and that's okay sometimes. I love that. Well, Megan, we, we have kind of looked at the list of, um, ideas that we've generated for this series, and I'm so excited for it. I would love to hear, as we kind of wrap up here, what is, what are you most excited to talk about this summer in regards to like, areas or like specific ways that we can start working towards being the friend that we need. Like these are the things we're looking for and, this is where I wanna start growing so that these kind of people come into my life. What are you most excited

Meghan: 29:39

Yeah, I think I'm really excited for the talking about prayer and,

Kimber: 29:45

me too.

Meghan: 29:46

yes, because I, this is something that probably within the last, I don't wanna say year that the Lord's really challenged me on is so many times we'll get, I'll get a text message or a phone call or you know, Hey, will you pray for me? Will you do this? And I'm like, of course I'm gonna pray for you. But am I like really taking time all the time to really stop and actually do that? And sometimes, yes, I am, but sometimes I'm like, oh, I said I was gonna, Pray for them. And I didn't like just being full on it, like it happens

Kimber: 30:11

percent. Man, I've done that. I don't think we're the only two. Yeah.

Meghan: 30:14

no, no, no, And um, so that's been something that like, I really want my words to not just fall flat, that when I say I'm gonna pray for you, like I really am. So that's something that I've really, really been working on this last year, is that when a friend texts me and says, I need you to pray for me, or Will you just like, I'm like in that moment, it doesn't matter what I'm doing. If it's 32nd prayer or sometimes like a five minute prayer and plea to God, like I'm doing that. So I'm really excited to kinda like, grow in that, to kind of talk about that journey. you know, hear what other people have to say about it. Um, that's for me, that's a big one. And then always, um, having a friend that's challenging me, um, cuz if

Kimber: 30:52

Megan, I, those are literally the two that I was gonna say. I love

Meghan: 30:56

and you on the notes. I was like, well, we're the same. So, cause I don't, that's where I'm like,

Kimber: 31:01

It's So great. What are you excited for about that specifically?

Meghan: 31:05

Uh, I think I'm just, yeah, I'm just in a season, uh, my friend told me this little thing, a little ditty she does, called if I, I can't grow if I don't know. And I'm like, I love that cuz I wanna be pursuing holiness and, and like refining in my life and softening those edges that I need to soften and. And I can't always do that. Like you're your own worst kind of person in your brain. I can't trust my thoughts. And so obviously it's praying, asking the Holy Spirit and talking to your spouse, but having someone that's maybe that outsider that can go, Hey, have you tried this? Or, I have noticed you're doing really good on this, but maybe you could try growing in. You know this and I. Um, and so having someone to do that is so, I, I'm just like really craving that in the season cuz there's areas of my life I really wanna grow in, but I can't do that if no one's gonna be honest with me about it, you know, and just be like the yes, I don't need someone that's just like, you're fine and you're

Kimber: 31:55

amazing.

Meghan: 31:56

and you're amazing. Like, you know, sometimes I am doing amazing and it's always nice to hear that too, but, but I know that half a 80% of the day I'm not. So let's be, let's be honest

Kimber: 32:06

Well, and I think when you hear from a friend who is like, again, in that close circle where like you know that you can trust them and that your relationship is stable to weather those kind of like maybe hard talks. Um, I think when someone does challenge you like that, then it makes the affirmations from them feel more authentic. Like, because it's Like, I know that they tell me the truth. Like you said. And and that counts for hard stuff and that counts for, for encouragement. And so to me that makes those things all the more valuable, which again, just deepens your trust in each other and can really be such like a blessing. I think. So I

Meghan: 32:49

Yes. 100%. Same for you?

Kimber: 32:51

Mm. Yes. Same for me. I think, uh, those are the, those are kind of the two that have been standing out to me. And, um, man, there's a lot of, there's a lot of cool stuff that I'm excited to talk with you about this summer. So, um, we're gonna get into it in the coming weeks. So thank you so much for kind of kicking us off today with me. Um, I really, my last thing that I will say with this, um, this series is I really hope that our conversations here, Megan can, really just give. Our friends listening an opportunity to like start thinking about these topics and then go have them in their living rooms, in their small groups, you know, on the playground, like wherever you're at. On your hikes, you know? Um, yeah, it's like a springboard, right? Like you, you start it, start at turn in, and then friends listening, we want you to go have these conversations with your people. Um, because that's where I feel like the real like life change happens and where your friendships are gonna grow.

Meghan: 33:47

Yes, absolutely. I'm excited cause I love all the things we're gonna talk about this summer. and yeah, I just see that too. I see the mamas on the playground. They're kids going, Hey, I wanna start working on prayer. Can we start praying for each other? Or, you know, like, yeah, it's gonna be awesome. Yeah. Yes. Go out and do it.

Kimber: 34:03

Well, friends, it's been so fun chatting with you and Megan today. Thanks so much for joining us. Next week we're gonna start diving into, we're gonna start with prayer cuz we're both so excited about it, so we're gonna get after it. So can't wait to talk to you guys more about how we can be the friend we need when it comes to engaging in prayer in our lives next week. So we'll see you guys then.

Meghan: 34:23

All right. Bye.

Kimber: 34:28

Friends. I'm so glad you could join me and Megan on the show this week, as we dive into the series about being the friend you need, I pray that as Megan and I said, you will take these topics to your conversations with your real life friends. Don't let us stop here. Consider who your closest people are, who you trust to pour into you and speak truth back to you. And I challenge you to challenge each other. To grow and being the friends you need, not by trying harder, but by pursuing Jesus more and more. Friends. If you're excited for this series, I want you to do something for me. This weekly, you share the podcast with a friend, just shoot her a DM with a post from social or text her an episode link with something like. I'm so excited for this new series on the, your sister Kimber podcast. And I love if you listened in and we can talk about it the next time we hang out. This is such a great way to get those conversations going about growing in holiness and how that can impact your specific friendships. And I know how busy summer can get. So make sure you subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen. So you don't miss an episode. You can also sign up to be part of my newsletter crew so that you get a weekly preview directly to your email inbox of what will be on the podcast that week. Just visit your sister kimber.com and subscribe there. Fred. Thank you so much for spending part of your day with us until next time. It's your sister. Kimmer.