Your Sister, Kimber
Your Sister, Kimber
Ep.61 The Fruit of the Spirit in Friendship
Kimber and series guest co-host Meghan Fravel dig into how our relationship with the Holy Spirit spills out into our friendships to bless them through the fruits of the Spirit as identified in Galatians 5:22-23. Listen in for a fresh look at this well-known passage.
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Hey friends. Welcome to the, your sister Kimber podcast. My name is Kimber Gilbert, and I'm so glad you're here today. We are nearing the end of our series called being the friend you need. And I have loved sharing these conversations. With our summer guest. Co-host Megan Freeville and you guys. Today, we are talking about our relationship with the holy spirit and how the fruit that flows out from our lives. When we draw closer to him. Could flow out into our friendships to bless them as well. I wish that we could talk this out across the table today with maybe some steaming hot coffee in hand, but this is the next best thing. I'm so glad you hear friend. Let's get started. Hey friends. Megan, welcome back to the podcast. We are wrapping up our summer series today. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you? Yeah, I'm good. Well, I said we're wrapping it up today. I didn't mean we're wrapping it up today. We're wrapping it up as we record today. Yes. This is our last time recording together. We're recording this week's and next week's episodes today, and so it feels like kind of a, a closure for us, which I'm sad. I so loved, so loved talking with you this summer, but, um, think it's been awesome. I was thinking about, oh, like I'm wrapping up our summer series and I'm like, oh my goodness, that means summer's almost over. I'm not ready for it. Sean was saying, he said earlier today, he's like, we'll need the heat. And like, like we were talking about something and he referenced like, we'll need the heat in like a month or so, and I was like, oh gosh. Excuse me. So how are you feeling about it being
Meghan:August? It's, I feel like it just came like next. So we start school, we start school next week, like kids do, and I'm just like, how did we, how did we get here? I think part of it is, Summers in Alaska are just insane in general. But I also feel like with the weather this year, it's been so weird and not like a summer summer that, yeah, I feel like it shouldn't be August. I don't know. I'm trying to wrap my brain around it. I
Kimber:feel like it, yeah, like we've had like maybe a month of summer, which praise God, we've been praying full series that like Sun would come out eventually. And it did like it. It did. It did. We had a
Meghan:solid, we had a solid week last
Kimber:week. Oh man. But yeah, I found myself thinking the other day, I was like, oh my goodness, it's already August and it feels like it should be like early July, but I It
Meghan:does, but it is what, it's so it goes, goes, but there's excitement around the corner, all the other things that will
Kimber:be coming, so. Totally. It's good. Yeah. Good stuff coming in the fall. Well, yes. Um, like I said, I've just had so much fun chatting with you this summer, Megan, and as we kind of go into our last few episodes, I was just kind of reflecting on like, you know what I feel like. Has stood out to me the most through this series and what I've enjoyed the most. And, I, I don't think that I saw this kind of coming when I started this series, but I feel like it has been, such a good reminder of how much like our relationship with Jesus and our relationships with other people, like how really like connected those things are. And I think that's something that kind of came outta this series is the more we like fleshed it out. And, um, I really loved considering that just like how much like Jesus' life has to teach us about like how to do friendship And so that's been something that I've really enjoyed reflecting on and I was just thinking about that the other day as we were wrapping this up. I'm like, wow. We're almost like to the end of it, but of course that doesn't, that those, that reflection doesn't have to stop here, but I would love to hear what, what have you most enjoyed about our conversation so far this summer? Oh, well first of
Meghan:all, like, I love being on here, so thanks for having me this summer. It's been really fun just to hang with you a little bit virtually. It's been so good.
Kimber:Um,
Meghan:yeah. Yeah, I would say pretty much on the same thread as you. Mm-hmm. Um, I've really love that. And just kind of breaking down just so many of the different areas of our lives that we might, you know, like we're talking about the Holy Spirit today and how that sometimes can feel separate from our friendships. Like there's my relationship with God and my relationship with people, but how much of that is just so like, intertwined together? So it's been really fun just to kind of break everything down into little bits of just these, all these different areas of our life and thread it, thread it through of what our relationship with God is like, and how that threads through into our friendships. So,
Kimber:Yeah, I really loved that. I feel like it's, it's such an area that like we don't necessarily like, or like a connection that we don't necessarily think mm-hmm. Of making, like you said, like that we kind of think of them separately. Um, but yeah, I think when we do like, kind of marry those ideas that they do have a lot to teach us. Mm-hmm. Um, really about each other. Like our friendships can reflect, Our relationship with God and the potential there when they're at their best. Right, definitely. And then of course, our relationship with the Lord, when that like comes into a friendship, I think it just deepens it in really special ways. So Yeah, I have, I have loved it too. Well, like you said, yeah, we're talking about the Holy Spirit today, and we've talked about like a bunch of these different areas you know, like prayer and scripture and like all of these different, aspects of spirituality and how they relate to our friendships. And so of course the Holy Spirit, like mm-hmm. Big part of spirituality, um, can't not talk about that. And as I was first thinking about this, I was like, I feel like the connection is maybe not immediately apparent, but then once I started like getting into it a little more, like digging into this idea of like, how does our relationship with the Holy Spirit impact our actual friendships? I was like, oh my goodness, these are so connected. And so that's what we're gonna kind of get into today. I would love us just to kind of start out with. Like, how would you characterize your relationship with the Holy Spirit? And I'll share a little bit about kind of where I'm at in this journey too, just so like our friends listening kind of know, where we're at. Because I mean, this should be a parent. Anyone who's listening to podcast for a hot minute, I'm not an expert on much at all. So not an expert here. I hope they got, but, but I am, I am, uh, pursuing a de deeper relationship with Holy Spirit. Right? Yeah. And so I would love to hear for you kind of what, how would you characterize your relationship with him right now? Yeah.
Meghan:Oh, that's, I, well, I love that question.'cause I'm like, oh, that's such a good question to ask in this time. It was a hard question kind of. It's, it was, I was like, ah, that was deep. Um, so I wrote down, I said, um, my confidant, my friend, um, and who I go to for peace and discernment and making the Holy Spirit for me is that, Um, that compass of when I am, needing direction when I need to just talk to Jesus. Mm-hmm. Um, being able to access, the Holy Spirit. Be able to hear from God in that way. and yeah, so that's kind of who, what, how, what I thought of, of just that, that wise friend that's gonna give you
Kimber:Yeah. The good stuff. Well, I love, like yeah. Those are like what comes to mind for you. Those are all like relational Yeah. Ideas like confidant and like, you know, wise direction and stuff. Mm-hmm. That's all relational. And so yeah. We're talking about like a relationship here and we know that like, you know, we have a relationship with Jesus, right. But I think sometimes we don't always think about the Holy Spirit. I would say, at least from my tradition, like background, I would say of like the father, son, holy Spirit, I feel like my relationship with the Holy Spirit is the least close. Okay. Yeah. And that's something that I just really, um, I want to change because I feel like you said, like the Holy Spirit can, you know, does all those things in our relationship and, it's such an important part of our relationship with God that it's like, if it just gets kind of forgotten, I think we're missing a lot Yeah. Of the relationship there. And so for me, I think that, fear and control has always been kind of like my vice or the things that I struggle with. And so I think that those things in particular can like drown out the voice of the Holy Spirit because it's like those things can be a lot louder. And so I've just been learning to listen, I would say, and like, Make sure that that, those lines of communication are open, right? Yeah, exactly. And then you're actually like yeah. Building that relationship and, and learning to listen more. So, yeah.
Meghan:So yeah, I would say, and knowing his voice over the enemies and Yeah. For sure. Yeah.
Kimber:Yes. Not only being able to hear it, but knowing what he sounds like. Yeah, absolutely. So I think that, yeah, it's definitely like, been a good journey for me, but definitely doesn't come super natural, very naturally supernaturally, supernaturally to me. I wouldn't say so, but I'm so, yeah. I, right. I'm excited to, uh, I'm excited to talk about this a little bit more'cause Yeah, I think it, it's a cool, it's a cool connection. So if we're thinking of this idea of friendship and like how does my relationship with the Holy Spirit impact my friendships, I think that what comes to mind for me is that so much of how the Holy Spirit guides me is relationally to those in my life, right? Yes. Like we know the Holy Spirit. Like, there's lots of aspects of him, right? He empowers us to like, have faith and to mm-hmm. You know, go on mission with the Lord and stuff. and he we're, we learn in scripture that the Holy Spirit also like even gives us, like, the capacity to believe in Jesus, right? So like, there's those aspects, but I think also much of his work in our lives is relational. Like, I think of like, if I'm in a tough conversation with someone, like I need to talk to'em about something that feels really uncomfortable, like I'm talking to the Holy Spirit to guide me, right? Like, what do I say? How do I get through this conversation? Or like, A lot of times he'll put it like, on our hearts to talk to someone or to meet a need or serve someone. Like, yeah, all of those things are relational. Um, or not all of them, but a lot of the things that I think he does in our lives are about our relationships with people. And so it seems to me that a lot of the Holy Spirit's work is relating to friendship in my life. Um, do you see it that way too? Or how do you feel like the holy our relationship with the Holy Spirit might connect to our
friendships?
Meghan:Yeah, no, I was gonna pretty much say the same thing that, that you did, for sure. Mm-hmm. I think that, yeah, that's where, I need him to be partnered with me in my life, you know? And as a believer, like I have the Holy Spirit, and so being able to use that and hear his voice when I need to have those hard conversations, or I need like, To hear direction or getting through something like being able to have him with me. And that is so important. And it also, like for me, takes away that, or, you know, what I hope it does is take away that part where it's not my words, it's God's words coming out. And I always feel like when we're, when we're taking that time to like, God, I, I need you to speak through me and not just what my flesh is feeling in that moment. It's so important. Um, and so I think that obviously with our friendships and it's, we're both believers, that's such a, like, important part of that is,
Kimber:Is accessing him. So yeah, inviting him to guide us through that. And yeah. And the way you said that too, reminded me of what you said earlier, the idea of a confidant too. Like even as mm-hmm. I experience like relational tension and stuff, like going to him instead of going to like, you know, whatever my vice is, like social media or, you know, whatever, numbing out or whatever. Yeah. So, yeah. And also
Meghan:taking things back to him of like, someone, someone approached me with something like, yeah, I need to, like, is this something that God's telling me to do? Yeah. It's like
Kimber:processing process. Yeah. Yeah. Mm. Yeah. if we're like communicating with the Holy Spirit about those things, as like our closest confidant that is going to be better at the end, how I might process otherwise I think. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, for sure. That's so good. How do you feel like, so then the flip side of that I think would be how are our friendships impacted if we don't listen to the Holy Spirit and obey him? Like how, what do you see as like kind of the negative side there? Like where if we're not like leaning into our relationship with him, how do you think our friendships suffer? Well, I think then we're
Meghan:leaning on ourselves and our own power, our own flesh in what our feelings and opinions are on the matter. And that's never right, gone well for
Kimber:most of us.
Meghan:Yeah. Um, when I am speaking out of just my own sinful nature of. This is how I feel and it's more like me. and so yeah, I think that has a huge impact on our, on our friendships when we're not, um, coming at it with like this love of Christ. And like I, I want to not embody him. What's the word I'm looking for? I want to like be like Jesus in that moment. Yeah. And if I'm not Yeah, like reflect him sort of thing. Yeah. And ref Yes. Reflect him. Thank you. Yeah. Um, reflect him through that. And when I'm not doing that, it's on my own strength, my own right. Wisdom, quote unquote, you know? Yeah. And instead a lot of times is isn't actually, was, isn't actually what is. Right. So, yeah. You
Kimber:know, that makes me think of what we talked about a lot at the beginning of this series. Like, you know, it's not like I need friends who are pursuing Jesus. Not because like, you know, I, I can't have friendships that. Aren't. That's a good thing is you know, to have friendships with people who don't know the Lord that we might be able to bring to him. But like the closest people in my life. If I want to be like, receiving Godly wisdom from them and like, having that kind of, like, if I'm giving that kind of Holy Spirit empowered advice or just like even being a sounding board that like reflects Christ's heart and not just my, my own like sinful, you know, kimber's selfish heart kind of thing. Right? Like, if I wanna be that kind of friend, like those are the kind of people I want in my life too. Like when I come to my friend with, you know, a, a challenge or something, I want, I'm hoping, I'm praying that they are like listening to the Holy Spirit as they give me advice and respond to me and listen. And, um, man, when they, when that is true, when we're both, I think trying to, listen to the Holy Spirit as we support each other. I think it's just, it's such, it's so much richer and yeah. And better. And it's not gonna be perfect I don't think ever. But No, it, you can tell that it, like, it makes a difference I think. Yeah.
Meghan:Oh, for sure.
Kimber:Yeah, definitely. So we both grew up in the nineties, right? What year were you born? Born?
Meghan:Yes. We did 87 year reveal. Okay. Yes. 87. Okay. I'll
Kimber:be 36. I'll be 91. 91 baby. 91.
Meghan:Okay. My brother's a 91 baby. Oh,
Kimber:yes, yes. Um, I don't think I actually knew how old you were, so. Yeah. Um, I wasn't sure, but I pretty sure I'll 36 in. You mostly grew up in the nineties? Yes. Yes, I would. Except for
Meghan:your, yeah. First
Kimber:few years. Infantile years. Yes. But I was thinking, as I was thinking about this topic of the Holy Spirit, um, it made me think of, did you have like a t-shirt or something when you were a kid that had the fruits of the spirit on it? Oh, I don't know. You dunno. Okay. I don't know
Meghan:if I had a lot of like salty over salty. Where you just
Kimber:The psalm little. The little salter? Yes. And like mag
Meghan:me, like I grew up on that. Yes. Like mag? Yes.
Kimber:Okay. Oh my goodness. I do remember. I dunno if I did. No, I don't know if did. That's hilarious. So if friends listening, if you did not, um, grow up in the church, you're probably very confused what we're saying. Those were both what me, Megan mentioned there. Salty and Mickey. They were like little children's. I don't know, like cartoon figures. Oh. That were like biblically based or something. But I was thinking about this and I was like, I just remembered like going to the Christian bookstore with my mom. Mm-hmm. And they would have all these like, uh, t-shirt, like girls' t-shirts, you know, or like That's funny. The, the cups or journals or whatever. And I feel like so often it was the fruits of the spirit. Yeah.
Meghan:On these. I'll have to ask my mom. I'll be like, mom, I have a random question. Did I have a fruit of the spirit? I guarantee that one. These one, I remember the posters.
Kimber:That's hilarious. Oh yeah. Posters. That was a whole thing too. Uh, so funny. Yeah. So either you're like, either friends listening, you're like us and you're like, oh my gosh, me too. Or yeah. Or you're just like laughing at how different our town's work. Google. Yes. One of the two can go down.
Meghan:Christian kid. The hole
Kimber:on Google. I know. Darn pack. Definitely. Yes. Lots of, lots of good memories there. And not so good both. Yes. But um, all I had to say, like, I, I think that for me, at least growing up in the church, the fruits of spirit are something that was e is easy to latch onto right. I think. And it's like easy to memorize, you know? And, and they're all like, it's positive, right? Yes. And there're things that like you want your kids to learn as well, I suppose. Yes. Like, you know, love, great thing. Mm-hmm. Kindness. Right? Um, but I think that this idea of the fruits of the spirit is so familiar to me from childhood that it's like I almost can't even. Like read them without like, like I can't hear them hardly because it's so familiar. You know, it's like when you just know something so well and you don't really like think about what it means. And so as I was kind of thinking about this, I was like, This is what we're actually talking about here. Like living with the Holy Spirit, guiding our life is going to produce these fruits or like produce these qualities in our lives and in our relationships, right? Mm-hmm. And so I would love today for the rest of our time just to kind of break these down in like how we see the fruits of the spirit displayed in our friendships specifically. Mm-hmm. And how this like walking with the spirit relationally, can actually like, bring these fruits to our friendships, not just to our like, personal lives, which is how I've kind of always thought of them. So, okay. I'm gonna, I'm gonna say them, but I'm gonna say'em out of order'cause that just, okay. It's gonna kind of help me like actually hear them and I don't know if, um, would you say this is like, Hard for you too, or do you feel like fruits of the spirit, this is like something that you can really, um, that you don't have that like tension with? Yeah. I don't think I have that tension
Meghan:with it. Okay. Yeah. I'm so glad to hear that. Yeah.
Kimber:Yeah. So yeah. Friends listening if, but I
Meghan:don't know if I could say it out of order. I think that's weird.
Kimber:Well, I wrote them down, so that helps me because literally it's like I read them and I'm like, I like, I don't know what it is about my brain, but it's just like, I can't really think about them individually'cause they're just like a list in my head. It's like a list. Well, yes, I could see it list's just a personal quirk.
Meghan:No, I could see it being a list.'cause I wrote it down. I did like a list. Like, I'm like, love, joy, peace, patience, kind. Like, I can't, like jumble. It's weird. Yeah. So you can jumble it totally in my head. I can't, I I don't think I would get them all if I tried to jumble it. So maybe I do have a little bit of
Kimber:fruit sauce here. A little bit of, yeah. Stuck of it. So, okay. So I'm gonna say out of order and I'm trying to think of like, how, Are they all relational? Like do they all apply to friendships? And I think you're gonna find that they do.'cause that's what I was finding. Yeah. So like, for sure gentleness. Let's start with gentleness. Like, yeah, that's relational, right? Like right in how I relate to people. Do I have gentleness? Um, patience. Yes. Yes. Relational, right? Like joy. I could see joy being individual, but definitely like within ancient too. Sure. Yeah. Um, we've got goodness. Self-control. Oh, I forgot. Goodness. Yeah, I did the right time. Goodness. Yeah. I missed one.
Meghan:Oh, skipped one. Yeah, I missed one.
Kimber:What does that mean? My bad. I don't know. Just
Meghan:kidding. Just kidding. Goodness of God. Not
Kimber:right. Self-control though. Like totally relational peace. I was thinking about just like relational peace, right? Yeah. Like that's something that we all want. Um. Love, of course, love for others, obviously faithfulness and kindness. And so I think that as I was like kind of thinking through these, I'm like, wow. Yeah. Like I could totally see how each of these applies to our friendships and how we can see these things growing. And so, um, yeah. Let's just kind of go through each one real quick and just talk about how we see the Holy Spirit kind of growing this fruit in our friendships. Yes. maybe even apart from just like how it grows in us personally. So, let's start with gentleness. Um, how do you, how do you think gentleness can come up in our friendships and when we're walking with the Holy Spirit? How this gentleness can bless our friendships? Yeah.
Meghan:I put down, um, with gentleness to having grace for others, um, being graceful and with myself, you know, of being. Yeah. you know, we don't wanna be aggressive in our. Approach and having that gentleness, that understanding, that grace for one another, I think is really important in our friendships. Um, yeah. And when we, you know, when we all go through good seasons, bad seasons, having that, that gentleness, that person there, that's just there, that kind of constant steady friend, like steady
Kimber:presence. Yes. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I definitely thought of like the harsh judgment ideas. Well, yeah. Or like, you know, cutting comments like, you know, just in my speech, like I feel like when I'm you know, responding to someone like we talked about out of like my own self versus like, you know, how would I respond to this harder situation? Like with the spirit guiding me, like yeah, gentleness is gonna come out, versus in my own flesh, it's gonna probably be like some sarcasm and some like, maybe sassiness, like cutting comments, whatever. Like I, I know that those are my nature. And so, yeah, I think that in the, in how I communicate and is definitely one for me. And then I love that idea of like mm-hmm. The gentle presence too. Mm-hmm.'cause we all probably have, I know I have a friend, have friends who are that to me like, oh, 100%. You know? Yeah. Yep. And so I think we can all think of people like that probably. And I think that's, yeah, that's probably a through the spirit. Um, what about patience? This one seems super easy to me. Yeah. Yes. To see like the parallels. What do you see here for patients? Yeah.
Meghan:Um, being patient.
Kimber:Yeah. Um, yeah. I think being with our friends, uh,
Meghan:with our friends, like there's gonna be. Times where we drive each other crazy, you know? Yeah. And there's gonna be conflict and annoyances and things, and or we are trying to, maybe we feel like there's something in their life, or maybe it's in our life that we need to be working on, and we want to go faster. You know? Maybe you're like, get it together, friend. Get it together. Well come on, come on. But it's not always like that, you know? And so, being that, again, I think that also plays into a gentleness of like, I'm gonna walk alongside you and be patient as I know you're seeking the Lord on this. so that's kind, that was kind of what I,
Kimber:I went towards. Yeah. I definitely thought of like also that friend who's like kind of hard to love, like chronically Oh yeah. Hard to love. Like we call that
Meghan:E G R E G R. Extra grace required.
Kimber:Extra grace required. Yes. That came up actually the other day. Someone I was talking to as well. I learned that first back in youth ministry eon ago and Oh, okay. Yeah, man. Yeah, you need it there, but you need it in your friendships too. That's true. Because there's just, yeah. Like there's just seasons, some friendships where Yeah, it, I think it requires patience to love them well. Mm-hmm. And I know that I don't usually have that on my own. Yeah. So yeah, that's absolutely something that I think the spirit can guide us in and that we can like ask for more of. I think too, like if we're struggling with a friend, Sometimes I think that, you know, it's just like, I feel this obligation to someone and I'm like, I know I need to love them well, but oh, I just like, don't want to, it's hard, you know? I think that there's, opportunity there to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to like enrich our capacity for patients for that friendship because that's so good. Like if, you know, if we are just in the world, like you just drop people like that. Yeah. You know, canceled. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I just, uh, you know, that doesn't mean that there's not times for friendships to have, you know, right. Seasons and stuff. I'm not talking about that kinda a situation really. I'm talking about the one where like, you know, that you have a commitment to them, but Yes. Yeah, it stuck.
Meghan:Yeah. But it's hard. Yeah, absolutely. Mm-hmm. Yep. I think that's good.
Kimber:So what about Joy? How do you see Joy coming into our friendships when it's from the Holy Spirit?
Meghan:Yeah, I think for joy, I thought of just that deep, like kind of goes into love a little bit like that deep love and faithfulness and there's just that joy of the lord presence in your friendship. Yeah. Where you get to just, um, be who you are, your sisters in Christ, your friends. Yeah. And there's just that, that. I just saw like this cup like running over of just Yeah. The fun and the silliness and, um, but just that joy that we get from having joy in the Lord that we get to express to our friends too. Yeah. Um, and it overflowing into
Kimber:that. So I love that image of the overflowing cup. Yeah. I feel like that's something that, like we talk about a lot here at the podcast of like, you know, if our, like, well in our hearts, like, um, you know, like the metaphor of a a well in the ground is like our relationship with the Lord, then that spills out into community in our lives. And it's that same, that same idea that you're talking about there. Yeah. It's like that joy can is can be part of what spills out there. Um, I was thinking of too, just like you knowing I was gonna talk to you about this, like I feel like you're someone who just loves to have fun. Which sucks. Like, would you, like, would you agree with that? Like I would say yes. Yeah. And I think that's such, that is a fruit of the spirit, like when we just are people who love to like experience joy with other people. Yeah. I think that that is, that is evidence of like the character of God because God is, Like exist in community, right? Yeah. And like, he made us to be in community with him too. And so I think that when we bring that kind of joy to our friendships, it just like delights in, like having fun with our people. Yes. I think that, that that evidence is the Lord. And we maybe don't always think about that. No, it's true. And um, like
Meghan:side note, when we were watching the Chosen, um, like I loved, there was quite a few scenes where Jesus is just like this super joyful, just having fun and being silly,
Kimber:just have fun together. Mm-hmm. And
Meghan:I think that so many times we disconnect that of like, he was still human and had all those like,
Kimber:like he was just somber walking around all the time or something. Yeah. Like, you know,
Meghan:but like, he was joking around, you know, and I mean, I know like, it's not verbatim like, you know, but I know that's how he was, you know, he was,'cause he still had that. So, um, yeah. So that.
Kimber:I love that. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think that the joy of the Lord idea is totally, it's totally in scripture, I think, but I think that we just don't always notice it because mm-hmm. It's not like it's hard to evidence joy through just like articulating things that happened. Right, right. Like, it's much more of a kind of emotional response. And I think if the, this is totally a sidebar too. I think if the Bible was written, by like a 21st century western American writer today, it would have so much in it about like, you know, our emotional response. Like yes. Jesus's emotions and like how did he feel in this moment? You know, and how the disciples were. Right. And that's what you see coming through in the chosen, because it's from, like, it's being, it's a story told from our perspective, how we tell
Meghan:stories. Yes, yes. These days.
Kimber:And in our culture. But like Hebrew thought they didn't tell stories that way. That's not how they focused their stories. It was so much more like event driven and like minimalistic. Like they mm-hmm. Whatever they assumed you knew, they, they weren't gonna repeat it. So, so it's just like such a different storytelling style. So I think if you look really closely in scripture, you can see the things that point to that. But yeah, you have to look closely. And that is something that I enjoy about the chosen too.'cause I think it highlights those things that, like he was human, of course he had, he was human and
Meghan:so yes. Just that relational part. Yeah.
Kimber:Yeah. I love it. Well, uh, what about, goodness, this is the one you forgot. It's what I forgot.
Meghan:So I'm like, uh, on the fly here,
Kimber:how do I speak? So what I thought of with goodness, and then see what comes to mind for you. I just think of like, if the Holy Spirit inspires and wells up goodness in our lives, and that is what pours out, then I think that that is gonna be like, that looks like blessing our friends like yes, with goodness. So it's like pursuing holiness and pursuing what is good with people in our lives. And it made me think of just like, I think so often, especially in like, well, I think it happens in male friendships too, but in female friendships. I think that the world is such, it shows us this, i this picture in like media and stuff of female friendship that it's just like, you know, girls like gossiping and like, being catty about people or like, I don't know, like just reveling in things that like are not good. Um, yeah, and it being like that, that's the basis of female friendship and I don't think that that. Is true. I don't think that that has to be that way. Like, we can celebrate goodness and like the good things in this world with our friends, and like that is enough to like build a relationship on Yes. Like we don't have to like, you know, like binge bridgeton together to like have something to talk about which, right. Great story. But like, but like, we don't have to like just get into things that don't honor God to have stuff to talk about or things to do as friends. Like we can celebrate and and engage in things that are good, that are, is Yeah. You know, that honor God and have lots of goodness come out of our friendships from that. And so, yeah, I think it's just like this idea that What flows out into our friendships and having a different expectation than what the world does with that sort of, yeah. So what do you see that's good?
Meghan:Goodness. I was thinking of that song, like I just kept hearing that song, like, I will sing in the Goodness of God, you know? And, um, that song, I love that song. And for me it's more of like, God wants good things for us. Hmm. That doesn't always mean that at the time. It feels good to us in the moment. Yeah. Um, that's good, good reminder. But he, but he, he, but he doesn't sees good in that. And I feel like with friendships, like that's kinda where I was going, is that my friends, my friends that are faithful and that are seeking the Holy Spirit, seeking the Lord. Like they want good things for me because God wants good things for me. And that's not always, know, that sometimes comes with hard conversations But their heart behind it is one of goodness. You know, in those moments. Yeah, totally. So that's, that's kind of where my brain went of just I love that. Yeah.
Kimber:Like even just the hard things that we go through in our relationships or individually that God will bring good out of that. He'll
Meghan:good at that. And, and then our friends want that too, you know?
Kimber:Yeah, absolutely. So that's a good one. Yeah. Okay, next up, I'm making you like, jump around. Is it like, really it's right. Emphasizing your brain, it's boop, boop, boop. Yeah.
Meghan:Jump around. Yeah.
Kimber:Okay. What about self-control? Let's go to the end. So how you see that one coming up again? One, I feel like that,
Meghan:yes, my whole, I need my Holy Spirit filter or, you know, like Right. Keep my, keep my Jesus on. So I throw when, yeah, like good
Kimber:old Amanda Cook, keep my Jesus on, keep my Jesus on, um,
Meghan:when to speak and when not to, would be my self-control. Mm-hmm. Like there are. There's gonna be things in, you know, that I might wanna say, but in that moment, is that really what God wants me to say? Is that even from God in that moment, is it the time where I just need to be praying through this situation and come back to it another time with that friend? Or is it in, you know, like there's so many layers to it, but it's that when do I close my mouth? When do I Yes. Step back and pray. When do I speak is like, that's my, you know, self-control.
Kimber:Everything I was thinking was tame the tongue too. Okay.
Meghan:Yeah. Tame the tongue. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.'cause it is so easy and we all, we all don't do that all the time. Like, we're gonna slip up. Mm-hmm. And, but I also think part of that self-control is then going back and then being like, I probably said something I would shouldn't have said, you know? Yeah. Mm-hmm. and on that, like no of that is, recognizing like even though we have the Holy Spirit, we are not the Holy Spirit. For
Kimber:our friends. Yes. That's so good.
Meghan:And so I think that kind of ties into a little bit of Yeah.
Kimber:That is such a key dynamic shift that mm-hmm We have the Holy Spirit, but we are not our friend's. Holy Spirit. Yeah. And so there are times when we, many times I think probably more plentiful times than when we speak, when he asks us to actually like speak into a situation where we pray for them or you know, we. Man, hold back what we Yeah. What we wish we could say because yeah, that's not our job to Right. To convict. Right? Yes. Um, yeah. Yeah. Such a good reminder. Oh, and like a hard dynamic, that one. It's hard. Yeah. That one was a really revolutionary concept in marriage for me was like, yeah, I can like challenge at times or like maybe at times, you know, like speak some truth when it's like, when it's gonna be received, um, or it's invited. But a lot of times my job is probably just to pray mm-hmm. And allow the Holy Spirit to do the work of convicting. Yeah. Um, because that's a lot of times it just isn't received from us Well and Right. In marriage or, and friendship. And that's because it's not our job. Yep. To Yep. To bring that away. So yeah. I love that reminder. That's really good. Um, what about peace? How do you see peace from the Holy Spirit impacting our friendships? Mm-hmm.
Meghan:I actually didn't have write one down for that one. Um, yeah, I was trying, I was still thinking through that
Kimber:one. Um, yeah, I think what comes to mind for me is just like the idea of relational peace. Yeah. Like, you know, when we're like in conflict with our friendships, I think that a lot of times the world's idea of peace in friendship, comes out as just never arguing or Yes. Never fighting or never having conflict. Mm-hmm. Um, or if we do, then you try to restore peace by like either acting like it didn't happen or by ending that friendship like Yeah, that's true. and those kind of things have happened in my life. I'm not great at handling those. In fact, I'm working on that as a person. But like, I think that. When the Holy Spirit can work through our relationships to bring peace. It's not always gonna look like just no conflict ever happening, but how do we walk through conflict without it like ruining our lives or like crushing our identity or, blowing up every other relationship in our life too, right? Like that kind of peace that he can bring to us, that our identity is secure in the Lord. And even when we have relational conflict that like we can honor him through that and honor each other, like, oh man, that's so hard. That's,
Meghan:that's so, yeah. That's
so
Kimber:good. That's a whole tough thing. But I do think that that's like maybe where the Holy Spirit can speak into that.
Meghan:Yeah. No, I love that. That's, that's 100% true, the relational piece. mm-hmm. And it's true because our culture is so much of don't rock the boat, don't say anything. Right. Just. stuff it and end up ghosting, you know, or whatever. Right, right. Um, but there's so much peace that's brought when we are just open and honest and have those conflicts like that, that's a good friend. That's a good friend. You know, that's gonna, yeah. That wants that peace. Because sometimes we might think it's fine, but they've got like this inner turmoil happening, like their heart's not at peace. Right? Yes. You know, and so being able to work that out, so we're both feeling good. That's the kind of piece that, yeah.
Kimber:That we, we need in our relationships. Yeah. It's that difference between, like, we think that peace is just like smooth waters, right? As opposed to like, peace is not just like above the surface. Like Right. Peace should, could, can and should like infiltrate our whole lives. So conflict actually gives opportunity to like, or peace. Yeah. Bring true peace. Yeah.
Meghan:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Love that.
Kimber:Yeah. Mm-hmm. Love that. Yeah. That's a tough one. I think. I think that's probably one of the, one of the hardest ones, um, at least in my life, uh, to allow the Holy Spirit into, um, just because. it's just really messy and, and tough and counter, I think, too. Mm-hmm. No, yeah. I agree. Um, what about love? How do you see, just like, love from the Holy Spirit, uh mm-hmm. Affecting our friendships? Yeah.
Meghan:Well, I think that even our culture has a, the definition of love is not, it kind of ties in with peace of, you know, well when the feelings go away, when this is, um,
Kimber:yeah. Feeling versus choice based,
Meghan:right? Feeling versus choice. And there's gonna be times where I might not like my friend, but I love my friend, you know that. And
Kimber:that is like not a concept to the world, right? Like, No. If I don't like them, then they shouldn't, they're not my
Meghan:friend anymore. Right. Exactly.
Kimber:And yeah. Yeah. But I think that that is, that should be true. Yeah.
Meghan:But it's hard. Yeah. Yeah. It is very hard. No, it's very hard. And so that, but that love, like that's a supernatural thing from the Lord to, yes. To keep loving the unlovable, you know? And I am unlovable at times mm-hmm. And people not quitting on me, um, in those moments or vice versa. So
Kimber:Yeah. Yeah. I thought of just like that idea of like self-centered friendships versus like selflessness in friendships is like a side of that too. Because if, if I just have like self-centered love in my friendships that's like not from the Lord, then that is just based on like affection or Right. What they can do for me or how they make me feel like you're saying. But when When it's the fruit of the spirit kinda love, like going out into our friendships, I think that's going to be less me focused and more others focused. Yeah. And so I think that when we start to see those, those traits in our friendships of like, oh, like, I'm not thinking about myself as much as, you know, I'm thinking about, well how does this, you know, impact this friendship? Or, you know, how do my words not only like say what I think, but how are, how is it gonna make my friend, you know, feel, and how are they gonna receive it? Is it gonna build them up and edify them or tear them down? Like, yeah, like that's, I think the love from the Holy Spirit that's being evidenced in our relationships as well.
Meghan:Yeah, no, for sure.
Kimber:That's good. All right. We got two more faithfulness. Two more. Okay. Let's start with which this idea of faithfulness is interesting to me. I was just writing about this the other day and it's like, it's this idea of like fidelity or like, you know, sticking with mm-hmm. With something and like truth, uh, which I think is just like such a lost concept Yeah. In our world today. And so I thought of it from this lens of like, sticking with people, um, even when they're hard or when we're not feeling it or we're tired or whatever. Um, and just being like friends who are faithful to each other. Yeah. Um, and to our commitments to, to like carry one another's burdens and walk with each other. Um, how do you see faithfulness coming in? Yeah.
Meghan:Um, so no, I, I brought down pretty much the same thing of mm-hmm. Um, Choosing to stay when it's easy to walk away or, through the good seasons and the bad seasons that we're all gonna go through. Um, being that friend that sticks closer than a brother. Yeah. Um, I just think of like, we've, we give God a thousand reasons a day to why he would not wanna have any relationship with us or whatever, but he doesn't leave, you know? Yeah. He's faithful and loves us. Kind of a terrible friend to Yes. And yeah, I'm not, not always a good friend at odd, for sure. Yeah. Um, but he stays and he loves and, um, and doesn't leave. And is that, that loyal friend and so Praise God. Um, yeah, exactly.
Kimber:Yeah. Yeah. So good. All right. What about kindness? That's their last one.
Meghan:Yeah. Well, I think that kind of even ties into, gentleness a little bit of Yeah. Um, Yeah. There's gonna be people in our life that are the extra grace acquired and being kind. Yeah. And that self-control. And so I think that ties in kind of for me the same way.
Kimber:Yeah. Just being like, I thought of grace as well, and like Yeah. Being that friend that like uses my words and actions for kindness. Mm-hmm. And not for like, you know, building myself up or gaining like power in the relationship. Yeah. Or like control in the relationship, but just like acting out of kindness. And I think that's, kindness is another word that is super overused in our, actually, we're, we're just so familiar with it. Yeah.
Meghan:As we're talking, I'm like, all I keep thinking about is like all the Be kind shirts, like that's a word that our culture is like very much about right now. Which is a good thing. It's not a bad thing. Totally. Um, so as you're talking, what I was thinking of, like, that's kind of our, maybe our first. Invitation, invitation to people that maybe don't know Jesus is like, yeah, our ki is our kindness. Kindness, you know, I love that. Um, and so, whether it's being kind to the waitress that's gi, you know, taking your order or the people that you're checking out your groceries, like just being kind is that speaks so much Jesus to people sometimes than anything else. Um, and so that, I think that kind of is that gateway to. What's different about this person? Yeah. Do you know? Yeah,
Kimber:I totally agree with you that kindness is something that is becoming a bigger thing in our culture right now, which praise God. Like I think that that is, yeah. that is him moving and, and I think that's super cool. I, it makes me remember when I was first, um, when I was first teaching high school, I had this, uh, hoodie that I would wear on Fridays, and it said kind is the new Cool. Yes. And I, I loved that because I think it's just good to encourage kindness when you teach freshman. Um, but also because I do think that it's true that like, that's something that Gen Z I think exhibits beautifully is that kindness is a higher priority in our schools right now. What I see, what I saw when I was in there a few, just few years ago, kindness is a higher. Priority than coolness. I think in many, many, many situations more than when I was in school. Oh, 100% think coolness was the, the higher priority than kindness. I
Meghan:tell my kids all the time as a sidebar, I'm like, the stuff that like happened to me or what happened to other kids at school would not fly for half a second. Yeah. You know? Right. Because
Kimber:it's, people are much more like, yeah. They're, they're kinder. Yeah. Well, I don't know if they're kinder. Yeah. They, it's like the social standard more so it's the social
Meghan:than it was. Yes. It was clicky and being cool and being all that. And I don't feel like that's the Yeah. I agree with you.
Kimber:Which is good. And so like, I think, yeah, I think it's great. I think that that is like, you know, yeah. Praise God. Um, yeah. And I think that we can lean into that, like Yeah. You know, in our friendships and, and remember that like, that kindness is, should be more of a defining factor in how we relate to people than, their charisma or their, you know, yeah. Ability to like, make us look better or, you know, whatever. And I think, I don't know, maybe that's something that, that like the Lord is bringing out in, in the generation right now. Yeah. Um, to his glory. And I praise him for that.'cause I think that that is so much, it's better. It's better than it was. There are other problems of course, but for sure. Yes. But I think that that's, that's an aspect that, um, is doing well, I feel like. Yeah. Mm-hmm. For sure. I love it. I love it. Awesome. So, okay, as we kind of wrap up here, what would you say of all the fruits of the spirit mm-hmm Um, where do you think that the Holy Spirit is like really working on you the most in your relationships right now? I am gonna say patience. I'm really getting in your business today. You are. I
Meghan:love it.
Kimber:I realize like that and the other Holy Spirit, it's like very personal. Let's do
Meghan:it. We're friends. We're all friends here. Um, great. Yeah. I'm gonna say patience. Is kind of the one that sticks out with for me right now of, need people to be patient with me. I need to be patient with some other people in my life right now. Yeah. Um, and so again, like that, it's not my job to convict. That's God's job. And so that requires like a step back, you know, and things maybe not always going the way I would want them to go, um mm-hmm. Or how I see fit for it, but that, that's not my job. Like, that's where I just have to just lay it at God's feet and be like, you do what you will with that. Um, that's so good. yeah. So I'm gonna say patience.
Kimber:Yeah. I think for me, I would say that gentleness, like mm-hmm. Man, as we're going through the list, I just feel like that has been something that God has really been, that we really taught me. I think as we moved away and we were, Just like kind of, you know, when you get pulled away from certain relationships, I think that you get perspective. And when we moved away, I think that he just showed me a lot of ways that like I just, you know, had to grow. And I think that was one of the ways, like, I think I can be a pretty like, um, just like brash or like, I don't think things through always kind of person. And I feel like the Lord is growing in me, that like gentle and quiet spirit that, you know, Peter talks about. And, I think we think of that sometimes as like, oh, us, you know, like women aren't supposed to say anything or something silly like that. But I think it's just more like, I know it's just like, We read that and we're like, gentle and quiet spirit. Ew, gross. Like gross oppression. It's like,
Meghan:it's like the, the Jimmy uh, Jimmy found, Ew.
Kimber:Lemme see. Yeah. Ew. Yes. We think like, oh no, I'm being silenced. But I, I think, I think that's not, I think that's not like the heart behind it. I think the heart behind it is like that gentleness and like patience, listening, like self-control. Those are fruits of the spirit. Yes. Yeah. And those can come out in our relationships and how we relate to people. In ways that are unique to women. And um, exactly. That's what I was gonna say. And I think that, yeah. I think that when they do, I think that it really is gonna bless people in our lives. Yeah. And so anyway, I think that that is, yeah, I agree. The gentleness is one way. He's good. Well, I love that. Um, we've been ending with, a challenge Yes. To put these things into action. Um, I can talk all day, but the practicality is something that is so helpful for me when it's like, okay, here's how I can begin, like taking a step in this in my life. Yeah. So how do you see our relationship with the Holy Spirit flowing out into our friendships Yeah. Um, as being practical in our lives potentially
Meghan:this week? Yeah. So I wrote down, take time to talk to the Lord as a friend, as a challenge of how does it look like to, um, really spend time with him as your friend and not just like, God, I need this. Or it's just very like, you know, I that, yeah. Not liturgical, but just like, God, like what do I do? Like just having that freedom to express what you need to express the way that you would mm-hmm. With a girlfriend for a co Yeah. Across from coffee. Like if it's crying, if it's getting angry for a minute, if it's whatever it is, like being able to just see him as your friend, yeah. And have that conversation. And knowing that he, that's what he wants. Like he wants you to come to him as a friend. Um, He craves that relationship just as much as I think we do. We just, it just feels weird and awkward to Yeah. maybe at first to do that. Right. So that was, that's my challenge this week.
Kimber:I love it. I love it because it's like, I, I feel like we say this a lot around, but this is like the aspect that, uh, our friendships can teach us about a relationship with God, because we would never expect like a friendship to flourish if we literally just like asked them for stuff all the time. Right. Like, and that was just, but that was it. You know, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I have a friend who I only call when I need something, yeah.
Meghan:That's not gonna go very
Kimber:far. Yeah. They're gonna pick up on that stuff. They're right. Oh yeah. And it's gonna. It's gonna get old and it's one sided. Yeah. And like, pray again, praise God that he is not like us in that way. Like he has an ending grace for us as we do that. Yes. To him. But it's not gonna build a relationship in the same way. It's not gonna build closeness and intimacy and like, and these fruits of the spirit in our lives in the same way when that's how we relate to him. So, exactly. Yeah. I think that is a, a wonderful challenge for us today. Thank you. Cool. Yeah. Aw. Well thank you so much for hanging out with us today, friends, listening, and Megan for being here. Um, man, I just pray that this gets your gears turning on, you know, how is the Holy Spirit like pouring out, flowing out that cup overflowing into my friendships Yeah. As we're pursuing a deeper relationship with him. So thank you so much, Megan, for chatting with us today. Of course. Thanks for having me. Yeah, well we love you guys. Have a great day. Bye. Bye. Friends. I am so glad that you could join me and Megan on the show this week. And I loved looking at these fruits of the spirit and how we can see them blessing our friendships. When we are leaning into our relationship with him. If you have loved this series, would you tell a friend about the podcast this week? Just shoot her a DM with a post from social or a text, her and episode link and ask if she listens so that you guys can talk about it. The next time you hang out. My prayer for this series is that it not only gets you thinking, but that it gets you engaging in these kinds of conversations with your own friends on your couch or across the table from them or on your next hike. And because I know how busy summer can get as you're out doing all those things as summer comes to a close, make sure that you've subscribed to the podcast wherever you listen, so that you don't miss an episode. You can also sign up to part in my newsletter crews so that you get a weekly preview directly to your email inbox of what will be on the podcast that week. Just visit your sister kimber.com and you can subscribe there. Friends. Thank you so much for spending part of your day with us until next time. It's your sister Kimber.
