Venting with Julie Jay
A podcast from the edge starring Irish comedian Julie Jay, Ireland's best unsuccessful comedian. Each week Julie will be chatting candidly about whatever is driving her mad this week, everything from relationships to my Fitness Pal to people who text: 'How are you?' and expect you to actually respond.
Available every Tuesday wherever you get your podcasts. Live, Laugh, Vent.
Venting with Julie Jay
Mormons in The Maldron, Benjamin Netanyahu is Dead and Internet Copycats
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'Those days of speed-dating in the staffroom are over'
I'm discussing Liz Nugent's new book Ruby Cooper, accidentally starting book clubs and why you should be dialling 8 for the Teaching Council if you are a secondary student whose teacher has forced you to listen to this podcast.
I talk about recently going kind of viral (ish) and the phenomenon of internet copycats: at what point are all guilty of being derivative, and at what point can we call the cops on someone copying your 25 second instagram reel. I also talk about flashing my bum to the wind in Galway, my encounter with Mormons in the Maldron and how tough it is being married to Padre Pio.
I also make the mad discovery that geography teachers read books too - who knew. If you have enjoyed the pod I would be so grateful if you could rate or review wherever you get your episodes, it helps hugely with spreading with the pod! Thanks so much for listening J x
We're back, says you, and you know I think what was holding me back from doing the podcast, and you know it's a slippery soap. Is YouTube dead? What's the story with YouTube? Because I think what put me off recording the podcast was oh I'll have to do video myself because I started doing videos of the episode and putting them up on IPS and on YouTube, but in actual fact I think people just want an episode of a podcast. I for one, I don't know about you, but I actually never watched the video version of any podcast I listened to. Why would you? We don't need the visual, we just need you in our ears. So yes, blaming YouTube. I love the way I say, is YouTube dead? No, no, YouTube isn't dead. Uh I'll tell you who probably is dead though. Benjamin Netanyahu. Is he dead? What is going on? They're in the middle of a war and they keep putting up pictures of uh uh white possibly the most evil man on earth going to get coffee, he's got multiple fingers, he's having press conferences where nobody's attending. Um yeah, it screams AI, doesn't it? I think somebody was saying I'm not on Twitter anymore, but Grok, um, you know, they put the videos, I don't know, I even know how to be, I don't even know what the process is. But according to Grok, these videos, it was something like 95% certain that these, if not higher, 98%. I'm just making up percentages, I can't remember what the percentage was. Look, it was basically they were saying these are definitely AI. And I do love the fact that we all, needless to say, um, there is something kind of problematic when we're using Grok as a reference point. Sorry, were we not all calling for Grok to be rightfully banned a couple of months ago? And now we're like, yeah, well, if Grok says, isn't it really terrifying how quickly our frame of reference can just uh totally I mean I yeah, look, I I'm not just saying it because Grok's saying it. In fact, I'm saying it despite the fact it kills me to agree with Grok, but I do think Benjamin Netanyahu is dead, um, Trump announcing that the war is nearly over, which is probably the equivalent of do you know the way like they're clearly losing the war. And obviously something's gone wrong because I don't know about you guys, like something has definitely gone wrong when the entire world is like, come on, Iran. Like, like, you know, everyone's like, yeah, no, I think to be fair, you misunderestimated this one. Something has definitely gone wrong when ever when the entire world, virtually without exception, is saying that. And so obviously they are quite clearly losing losing the war. And I just um I had to laugh uh this morning when I was listening to Orti Radio One because I am a person of a certain age in the morning. I can't listen to spin, forget it. My god, I'd crash my car into a ditch if I was listening to spin. I sorry you don't mean that because it's bad. I just mean it's too upbeat for me of a morning. I can't I can't I'm the kind of person I can't listen to pop songs in the morning. It's lyric FM is the closest thing I get to music and a bit of a bit of business news. I need to ease my way into the day. I cannot, cannot be starting the day with Chew Leepa. So, yes, I do so I was listening to the news this morning, and they were saying about Trump has announced that their objectives are nearly fulfilled in the Middle East. And it did remind me of like I can remember saying to Guy, look, I just want you to know I don't think we should see each other anymore. And he said, But Julie, we're not seeing each other anymore. There, I like there is such a level of delusion, like we're full-on fantasist at this point. Yeah, that's it for us now. Definitely the objectives have been achieved. Smellulator is up with me saying to Guy, I think we should break up, and him turning around and saying, But Julie, we already have broken up that level of delusion for sure. It's hasn't been a busy few weeks. I feel like everyone's busy. Everyone's busy all of the time, aren't they? Really? I have started reading again. That's something that I really wanted to do. Finally, finally read Sophie White's such a good couple, and really loved it. I mean, I know I was I always love Sophie's work, but was very late um jumping on the bandwagon for that one. And currently reading, I'm starting a youth club in school now. A youth Oh my god, I'm starting a youth club in school. Because that's what they need. That's what everyone needs to be hanging out. We're hanging out with each other, students and teachers, Monday to Friday, between 9 and 4 every day. I have come along and decided we should also have a youth club where we're all hanging out with each other on a Friday night. No! Oh my god, no. Sorry, one of my things. No, I've started a book club in school, and it was so funny because I literally said to one person, do you know what'd be nice actually? Maybe we should have a book club. And within the hour, somebody met me in the hall and said, I hear you're starting a book club. And I was like, Oh my god, okay, now I'm in. Note to self, you cannot articulate any thought out loud in a staff room because people will run with it. So yeah, I I kind of um I kind of have started a book club and we've gone for Liz Nugent's new one, um, The Truth About Ruby Cooper, which is absolutely brilliant. I will say, I obviously didn't have it read. Uh, I just went with the fact that it's Liz Nugent and we love her. But then hilariously, I am like three-quarters of the way through. It is a real page turner, as ever, with Liz. It's a real page turner, but it is quite dark in places, and I am thinking to myself, you know, when you're like, oh my god, because obviously the whole idea of a book club is like you want Brahad appeal, and it's gonna be, you know, a it's gonna be an amalgamation of different personalities. And I just said to myself, oh my god, this is so typical of me. Like the subject matter is really heavy in places, and I'm like, why have I picked this for the first one? Do you know? Like, let's get to know each other first, you know, maybe a few hugs and kisses before we dive into this dark subject matter. But anyway, we've gone with it. It is a brilliant book. Like, so far for me, it's five stars all the way. I'd say I'm about three-quarters of the way through. Just one of those books I'm always brought back to Marion Key saying that reading is supposed to be for pleasure. Like, I was talking to Fellonau today, and I thought this is I mean, this says something about my internal snobbery. I was really surprised because he was telling me he's reading Murakami at the moment. And I said to myself, Oh, this one I just always presume, unless you're an English teacher, you're always gonna just be dipping and out of popular fiction, but it kind of just alerts you to your own inherent bias, I suppose, you have towards other subjects. It's like, yeah, you can be a geography teacher, Julie, and reading Murakami. Like, this is why it was, I mean, it's to think I went off and I did English in college because I liked to read newsflash, a lot of people you can read no matter what your job is. You could be a stockbroker during the day and maybe have mortgage approval by the age of 42 with two dependents and uh a husband who's also seven point. You could you could actually have been a stockbroker, Julie, and read books in your free time. Like people are multidimensional, and i I was so embarrassed because I could not conceal my shock when this poor fella who's a lovely fella in school was like, Yeah, I I he said so oh, I see you're starting book club. I said, Yeah, um, you're more than welcome to come. And uh he said, Oh yeah, I'm reading a bit of Mario. I said, Do you read yourself? I know this makes it sound like it is it was a speed date. I'm old enough to be his mother. It absolutely was not a speed date. And those days of speed dating in the staff room are over. I've I've lived to tell the tale and I've had to leave schools because I've lived to tell the tale. No more speed dating for sure. And anyway, he then he drops the Murakami, and then he said, Oh, and I said, But the he said, Oh, Norwegian But Wood is like my favourite book of all time. And for a while I was pretending in conversation with him that I had read it, and then I said, Oh, I've full confessions. I didn't read now, I have read some Murakami, but I hadn't read that one, and I just was like, Oh god, before he asked me what I thought of the ending, I need to just confess all here and say I actually haven't read it at all. But isn't it gas how we really pitch and hole people? Like it kind of reminds me of do you remember when Neve Kavanaugh was working in the bank and she entered the Eurovision and we were all like, Wait a minute, you can work in a bank and be able to sing? The two are not mutually exclusive. Like, I was mortified for myself because I could not conceal my surprise when this fellow was talking to me about Gorma McCami. Gorm McGammy! I can't even speak. I did I Do you know what? I he was talking to me about Cora McCarthy and Mergami and all the rest. So listen, we're back on the reading post. By the way, Liz Nugent, she's one of these terrifying people. The last time I did the Shawn Griefs show with Kutama Regan, um, I was fairly shyed. I wasn't on the ball at all. It was a live show in the lighthouse cinema, and I just was it just wasn't funny, which is kind of why they have you there. I wasn't funny at all at all. But it was very hard for us because we came on after Liz Nugent and she's one of these really terrifying people. Again, this is what we're talking about is that people are multifaceted. So she's this amazing writer, but she was also feckin' hilarious. And then she was talking about how she had an accident when she was a child and she lost all the movement on, I think I don't know, was the left or the right hand side of her body. So she had to like learn, relearn to do everything again. Uh, because whatever side that ended up being affected was actually like say her writing side, so she had to learn with the other she had to retrain her brain to write with her alternative hand, and even now she was saying she types all her books using just one hand. I mean, talk about putting the rest of us to shame. Like I'm sitting there and like I'm supposed to write a thousand words of the examiner every week, and I'm always flying close to the wind with the deadline. And there's Liz Newton, she's writing entire books with one feckin' hand, and she was so funny to boot, and sure, then you have to go on after that, and you're like, oh god, this is a really this is a tough act to follow. I've never I've never typed an entire book with just one hand, let alone a hugely successful one. Anyway, so she's great and the book club's going well. I yeah, I've had a few kind of a mad few weeks because I did go, I got a few messages saying, Oh, you went well congratulations on going viral. I mean, I suppose I did have a video that went viral, but it's gas because it was lovely at the time. And it did actually so much for my confidence. It was just a really silly one that was about to buy such a throwaway, and it's uh look, there's probably lessons to be gleaned here. It took me 30 seconds to film it. I didn't think about it. I just filmed it, and it did way better than most of my videos that take a lot longer. So there's definitely lessons to be gleaned there. Also, I think part of the reason it did well, look, it was just kind of, I suppose, on uh it was at the start of this whole war in the Middle East type uh thing. Is it are we calling it a war? I don't know. So look, since then there have been a million and I mean even more, there's been a million and one people who did the exact same joke again. But I suppose I was just lucky in that I kind of got in there first with it. That being said, I'll tell you this much between you and me and the wall, this is why I love about the podcast, because I feel it's kind of a safe space. Like we're 12 minutes in, I think it's a safe enough place to um talk about this one. So basically, the video did really well. I was delighted because you know it's hard when you're creating content all the time and you just feel it's not getting much traction. But I always come back to what Owen Colkin told me, which I thought was such a lovely piece of advice. That the only metric you can't worry about the numbers or how many likes you're getting. The only metric is do I find this funny? Can I stand by this content? So we move, but it was really, really, really lovely to have one that did very well. Like it really was nice. Now I probably fed things up for myself because then that week I should have been writing the momentum, and what happened was we just did a very busy week on a personal level. We had a family confirmation up in Galway, which was so lovely, but you know, it's one of those that I almost feel like because I had to take my little guy to the dentist in Trulley, which was such a rigmarole after school. Um, so I had to take the two kids in. So that evening was entirely gone, and then I had to take them to another dentist. It was this whole thing with like dental stuff that week. This is the week now I went, I mean inverted commas viral. Did I really go viral? The kids in school were um saying to me about how I'd gone viral, and as I said to them, I think I put it up on Instagram, if I actually had gone viral, you'd never see me again. So look, I had the video that did well, should have been right in that wave of momentum, but then just you know, my little fella, he had the dental problems that week that was kind of taking over. The mocks were going on, so there's different things happening that were I thought I'd actually have a quiet week, but then I ended up having a very busy week. And then we had the confirmation in Galway on the Friday, which you know yourself, you're going up on the Thursday, that's kind of a day gone. Then I was doing something for the fourth years. Um, this lovely group of kids, they they have this product called Dogadough, which is actually genius. It's like a kind of a basically it's like uh an environmentally friendly version of a briquette. But they asked me to do a video, which of course would be no bother at all. But sure was the one day then I had to go to Gaway and I was under fierce pressure because I had to get it done for them by the evening. So I just feel like I kind of lost a week, and then sure by the time we came back, the confirmation was fab. We had a great time. Has to be one of my favourite sacraments, the L Confirmation. Fred asked me, Did I take the pledge? I was like, no. I mean, even as a whirly 12-year-old, I said, Come on, let's I mean, let's not get anywhere near. We were running a little bit late for the confirmation then on the Friday, and I had to laugh because I said to Fred casually, I was like, Do you think we should we go to the confirmation? It was starting at three o'clock, and this was like quarter to three. And Fred, even more casually, was like, Yeah, maybe I should go because I'm doing a reading. I was like, What? How did she get that gig? And also, why weren't you at the church 15 minutes ago? Let's move. So I had the confirmation which was lovely, and um then yeah, just kind of lost my momentum a bit with the social media, which is stupid because you work your entire career to get to a point where you're going semi-viral, and then you kind of drop off social media for a couple of weeks. So am I my own worst enemy? Of course. Pink Pink wrote a song about it. Don't let me get me. P.S. Were you even a child were you even a baby of the 80s if you didn't listen to your parents fight to the soundtrack of Family Portrait? Like, do you remember that? P.S. I say this. I used to listen to Family Portrait whilst simultaneously listening to my parents fighting in a distant room. But the joke of that was you might have this image in your head of me as a again coming back to 12-year-old taking the pledge. No, no, no, I was in college, I should have moved out at that stage. So they were probably fighting over the fact that I was still in the house. That was probably what they were rowing over, but instead I was just there like listening to family portrait, really, really feeling it, really feeling it. Well, in actual fact, the reason why my parents probably weren't getting on was the fact that my dad was most likely like, will she ever leave? Um, yeah, so I had that video to that did well, but you know what was so funny? I put it up on a Sunday. Somebody who commented, this is what I mean about the podcast being a bit of a safe place. Um, somebody who commented on the video who was a much larger following than me, then went off the next day and did the exact same joke on a video. Now, I'm not gonna come on all self-righteous here. We're all derivative, we're all inspired by other people's videos all of the time. There is no such thing as an original thought, there's no such thing as an original experience, but I did think it was a bit mad to comment, like so you couldn't even pretend that you hadn't seen my video. And I do think what happens is I know I'm guilty of this, and like other people are guilty of this because we're consuming so much content all of the time, it can be hard sometimes to work out did I see that somewhere, or was that based in a conversation, or have I had that thought before? It it all gets a bit muddled. So, like I've 100% done stuff which I'm sure is sailing very close to the wind, of other creators, and actually one comedian in particular, I act I had to unfollow her, and I was always her biggest fan, but she is a very, very successful English comedian, and devastatingly, we just have a very I don't want to say a similar life experience because she's very successful in comedy, and I wouldn't so not we don't have a similar life experience in that way, but like she's married to a fellow comedian, she has two boys, we're the same age, and I'm not joking. Literally, I would say three separate times I was doing a stand-up joke which wouldn't wouldn't have been put online because I've never really been great for putting clips online, and literally in my feed it was coming up, and she was doing the same joke because we're at a similar point in our life with two small children, we had kids a little bit later, and it just broke my heart. But I actually had to unfollow her because I was like, I cannot, I just don't even want to see anything in case of contagion. But three separate times, like one time in particular, I had a joke which was doing so well in Kerry Comedy Club um about having a secret second family, and then this comedian came up as a clip doing the same joke in the Apollo, like virtually word for word. Now, and there's no way, like I hadn't put anything online, so this was just purely coincidence. So, like, and then there's like again, I've definitely seen stuff, and on some level, either assimilated by osmosis, so or it sparks this is another one you see a video and it sparks an idea in you. So, at what point do you copyright an idea? Because somebody else has an idea, you see it and inspires you, but technically you've been inspired by somebody else's idea. So, is that copying them? It's a whole thing, but I did think it was a bit mad to comment on the video and the next day do the exact same joke. Now, multiple people who follow me on Instagram send me the link to their video that this person had done the day after, and they were all like, but you did this yesterday, you said it first, and it did really, really, really bug me. I think it bugged me as well because it was kind of like just let me have this moment. I have a tiny following in the skate. Well, not tiny, but I certainly have nowhere near the following you have. You literally saw my video yesterday because you commented on it, and now you were doing this joke on your own page. It just the word I would use is disappointing. Like it was really disappointing. Like it kind of reminds me of um another comedian. I know a friend of mine had gone. I had told a friend of mine a funny story. Then another this same friend went to see another comedian and actually said to me, I'm just wondering, did you ever tell that comedian this story? And I was like, I actually think I did. And she said to me, because that story is in the show, and I had recently told the story, so it was all very close and memory for. And again, none of us can it's very hard to copyright a conversation. It is hard to copyright a conversation, but it just does reach a point where you're like, I really oh, if if that person had messaged me to say this was a pure accident, whatever, even though I'm not saying like literally the day before they saw the video, that would be a different beast. But then part of me was like, Is it a case that this person thinks that my following is so low that nobody's gonna notice? It it just was confusing on multiple levels. Um, and it also kind of made me a bit like, well, I I'm very happy to say I am at a point where I think I really have divested emotionally from comedy, which I needed to do. I really needed to do. And even previously, now I would have mentioned, you know, like having you know, I suppose had friendship breakups in comedy, like which really I actually think where I'm at now is a good thing, and that I absolutely do with friends in comedy, but I'm not as emotionally affected by stuff. Like, even in terms of not being asked to do the festivals and different things, I'm very aware that, you know, my social media following might be at a certain level. Maybe I have pissed people off throughout the years, and that's why they don't want me to have festivals. But I'm really proud of myself because this time last year, well, not quite this time last year, but I was do you remember I was getting really upset over not being asked to do um the Kilkenny Cat Laughs. I was like bawling crying down the podcast again. Like Julie, hello, we need to keep this podcast on brand for the L Comedy. Well, in actual fact, I can look back now and totally see why I wasn't asked to do the Cat Laughs. And if I don't get asked to do it again, as a comedian said to me at the time, like you should be focusing on doing your own festival. Now he wasn't, you know, think we were he's being metaphorical with that, but there is a bit of that. Like, look at the likes of I was only just on Instagram, Kyle Kapler now as one million. Followers. And you know what? There's something to be said for just being authentically yourself, because that's why Kyla has built an em well, I say built an empire, but she is, you know, she well, it is an empire. She's built her own audience. She is a phenomenon. And the reason why she's done so well is that she's been true to herself. And also, she's been out in Barcelona. I know she's in London now, but do you think that she was arsed with whether or not she was being asked to do festivals in Ireland? No. Like she was just focused on her own lane, doing her own thing. So there is a lot to be said for that. But I just yeah, so like as emotionally divested as we are from comedy, it was really disappointing when that happened. But anyway, as I was saying to a friend of mine who had also gotten in touch with me at the time because she had noticed that this was done, I did say, look, meanwhile in Tehran. Am I right? Meanwhile in Tehran. Um the confirmation I said was Fab, we stayed in a hotel, which was the hotel was lovely, but anyone who stayed in a hotel room with small children will know that it's a bit of an MO Dona Who situation, you know. Uh like we're not getting out of there without being rolled up into carpet. It was hard going, like the kids just don't sleep. It's all fun and games, and then you reach midnight and you are you are losing your feckin' mind. And then it was so funny because the next day at the breakfast, so I was up for so I basically let Fred stay up with um the youngest until the wee hours. Now I say let him stay up, but obviously we're all up. But I just turned and faced the wall and pretended I couldn't hear anything. Again, all about MO Donahue room, like we're all in the one room, there's no escape. The worst part of being in a hotel room with your family is that you're in a hotel room with your family, everyone's in the one space. But anyway, he and even at one point, Fred, like I was like, Oh my god, will this child ever go to sleep? Because our youngest JJ was just he was putting on Fred's shoes, he was singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on repeat. It's just it's cute the first 50 times. And I said to Fred, I'm actually losing my mind here. This is like at about midnight, was when I really started to lose the plot. And Fred was like, Yeah, but think of the families who have to live in hotels all the time. And in that moment, I was like, fuck the families who have to live in hotels all the time. What about me? It just look, it would drive you to it would drive you to drink. Only you can't have a drink because then you have to get up in the morning with small children. So the next morning, myself and the eldest Ted, we went, we said we'd go down for breakfast because we left the tea. It was so funny. I I think in the end the baby just fell asleep whilst eating crackers on the floor, and set Fred sent me the picture, and he was just like passed out on the floor surrounded by crackers, like such a rock star lifestyle. So myself and Ted went down, we got breakfast, and then we accompanied Fred and JJ for their breakfast. So it was our second trip to the breakfast room. So they were eating breakfast, and I was so I was running around after JJ because he's just at that age where he's two and a half. Complete look, it's just a complete nightmare bringing him out for food. It is my ultimate fear. Ted will sit, he'll colour, he'll do different things. Now, not always, he can also be a bit bold and like running around like a maniac. Don't get me wrong, but we do have nice times together on occasion. But JJ, forget it because he thinks he's too he's too big, according to himself, to sit in a baby chair. But then he's too small to sit in a big chair. So basically, it's a Benny Hill film. I'm running around the hot buffet constantly trying to grab the child. So I let Fred have his breakfast whilst I kept running around after JJ, which was just embarrassing. It was so embarrassing. And then there was this American family, and I was. Do you know you're getting to the point? Because obviously I had already had my breakfast, but I was getting to the point where Fred where I was like, you could get up once now and run after the child. I know, like I already had my breakfast, but this is starting to piss me off now. Because obviously everyone's looking at this saying, Why doesn't your man get up and run after the child? Now, in his defense, I had already been down for my breakfast, but still. But then this American family, he would loads of kids. I had to scoop up um JJ at one point. I think I was effectively holding him upside down, walking back to the table. And um this uh this American gentleman said, 'You've a beautiful family.' And I was like, Oh, it just was such a and I was like, You have a beautiful family too. And then we were in the we were heading to the lift. Now they couldn't all fit in the lift because there was like a million kids, so they split up. It was, do you know what? It was screaming Ballerina Farm. Do you know that this you know this crowd, the Baller Ballerina Farm? They're um they're like the Mormon family on TikTok. And uh so that I was like, God, this is all about Ballerina Farm, is it with all the kids and they're and here's the thing. So then anyway, we were in the lift with the mom and the dad, and um some of the kids, obviously the rest of the gaggle were coming up with the next lift. Actually, come to think of it, we probably should have just stepped out of the lift and said, Do you all want to go together? What is wrong? Oh my god, I apologize. I apologize to this lovely Mormon family. As I was chatting to them anyway, I do think they were Mormon because they were talking about over homeschooling and different things. There was loads of them. I was listen, I've watched enough real housewives of Salt Lake City. I think they were Mormon. But then I was laughing afterwards because I was like, the reason why they're probably like, You've a beautiful family, like they were probably looking at us. And because obviously the whole idea with the Mormon churches, it's very traditional gender roles where the woman is looking after the kids and the dad is just off living his best life. I think they looked at us, and because Fred was just sitting on his arse eating the breakfast, they were like, Oh, they must be Mormon too. That's why they actually reached out. They were like, Oh, another Mormon family. Would they be wrong? Probably not. Very frustrating. I was so pissed off with Fred Jesse for a legitimate reason. I go out working every day, I go out working every day, and I come back and just the stage of the house. It's just, it pisses me off so much. Now we're in a really small pokey house. We have way too much stuff, it's consumerism gone mad, everyone has too much stuff. This is why I am convinced, you know, back in the 80s, I know people say we look back with rose tinted glasses. I think the reason why houses were tighter in the 80s, it wasn't a lack of worth ethic with parents now. We just had less stuff. We'd less stuff. Anyway, so I was really pissed off, came home, and I think Fred had asked me, Oh, have you seen my Great Gatsby? First of all, don't rub salt into my round that you have time to read the Great Gatsby. Second of all, please don't tell me you went off and spent 10 euro 10 euro on a copy of the Great Gatsby. Do you think I don't have a copy of the Great Gatsby? Third of all, does it look like I'm busy? Yes I am. Find your own feckin' Great Gatsby. P.S. It was definitely written by his wife. All of this was pissing me off. I was like, it just annoys me because there's no way like that line in it that where the Maria, oh a man wrote that I wish my daughter I hope my daughter grows up to be a fool. Yeah, a man wrote that. So this is this whole thing. Anyway, look, it just you know, it g everyone's tired. Turned into a bit of a bicker. And then it was so funny because I looked up and Fred was standing in front of this hand-painted rainbow. So he did this thing for Barnardo Barnardo's, the children's charity, and this child painted him a rainbow and wrote thank you on it. So he's having this argument with me, and then behind him is a painting from a child saying thank you, as it so it was and I actually said, I said, it's so it's so annoying that you have that painting frame behind. Well, no, he didn't frame it, they gave it to him framed. It's behind your head, because it's like feckin' having an argument with Paul Trepeo. If you do if you're not familiar with Paul Trepeo, he was one of the original rappers back in the 90s. He was very, very big. P.S. Tupac lives. I'm convinced Benjamin Netanyahu 100% dead, and Tupac lives. I will die. I will die on that hill 100%. Um, yeah, I'm fairly sure that entire war started because essentially they're all PDF files, and uh, I think it was just a distraction from the Epstein files. I did make the mistake of saying this out loud to my mother, who has I think she just thinks I've spent too much time alone with the kids. Like it's been a long winter, um, she definitely thinks I've gone full-on conspiracy theorist, like 100%. Wait until she hears that I met a Mormon family in the breakfast room of the Maldrin, and I'm half convinced I'm half considering converting myself. I've actually never met a Mormon family that I haven't liked. I know, like, I listen, well, would I like to be a Mormon? I suppose the one plus is Fred did have many wives, so you'd only see him a couple of days a week, which I think suits us. I think we get very angsty with one another if we see each other for more than 48 hours in a seven-day period. Some Oh, actually, before I forget, the Maltern and Gobi, can I just give a shout-out? I I'm actually gonna pause in a minute because I've loads of shout-outs to give. Please bear with me. I just want to give a few shout-outs to people who've either come up to me over the last few weeks to say they love the pod or messaged me, and we're doing it. And my apologies if you're left off the list. Please message me again. Please message me again because I'm a disaster for my inbox. But can I just give a shout-out to the gorgeous Miriam, who, when we were in the Mal, and we took the kids swimming, and usually we take one child and like the other parent takes the other child, but then the two kids said we want to go with mammy, which is cute, but also you're like logistically how's how's this gonna work? So I was trying to get dressed, and you know, you're just like, listen, the I mean, the shame has gone out the window now. We're long past that point. So I got Ted dressed, and then I was trying to get the baby dressed, but he was running around like a lunatic, and he kept trying to run into the shower fully closed, which again, disaster. I said, please. So then I got him into the into the crib thing, he was getting out of the crib thing, and then this lovely woman called Miriam came up and asked if I wanted to help with them, or did did she could she just keep an eye on them while I got dressed? What an absolute dope. Now, part of me was like, I mean, I literally had my bum hanging out, like we're talking knickers to forget the knickers, we're talking ars to the wind, Lady Garden to the Wind. So perhaps she was just really uncomfortable looking at my bum because I was like up in her grill, ars hanging out, but she was such a dope, and then it turns out she listens to the podcast, and I made my usual joke when people say they like the podcast. I'm like, oh, at least I have one listener, and we laugh and laugh and laugh. Uh Comedy Gold says you, but she also said her sister listens to the podcast. So I have two listeners in Galway, and I actually wrote about it in my examiner article last week. So if Miriam is listening or her sister, I wrote about it last week that as a parent, just those little moments where somebody helps you out, you know. Again, I know we're talking meanwhile in Tehran. This is not a big problem. Like needing to get your knickers on in a four-star hotel in Galway, that is not a problem. Just FYA information. But it just makes the world, it just is so fabulous when people reach out and they're so kind. And I think even she was telling me about when her kids were small and taking them swimming, like was so tricky, but you just get on with it. And you know what? Honestly, it sounds ridiculous, but like I will honestly be thinking about this interaction with Miriam for the next six to seven years. It just really lifts you up because it's like somebody saying, Listen, just you know, like this is kind of it's kind of shit right now, but it's gonna get so much easier. So thank you so much, Miriam and her lovely sister. Let me pause and just do the shout-outs. Oh, before I get to the shout-outs, what do you think of this? A friend of mine sent me an adult colouring book. I thought I thought things in my life were going better. An adult colouring book. And by the way, I realise that sounds very saucy. It's a colouring book for adults, but like I said to myself, oh my god, like I feel like are things ever going well in your life when a friends are sending you colouring books. I it's it's a bit passive aggressive. Anyway, so apparently things in my life aren't going well because friends of mine are sending me a colouring book and hoping for the best. Kind of like when people send you a Christmas card and they write in it. Usually a family member, they write in it, wishing you a peaceful New Year. You're like, do we really need to please let's not bring it back to that time when I was 17 and I had to get pumped? Like, I mean, can we just move on? That was one New Year's Eve. Admittedly, it was many New Year's Eves when I made a complete tit about myself. But are you still talking about that one time I got pumped on New Year's Eve? Is that what you mean by a peaceful New Year's Eve? PS PPS number, PPPS. If you are a teacher, I a teacher told me in recent weeks that they are playing this podcast for students. Now, first of all, this is a dream journal. I don't want anyone messaging me after. I've had to tell people in my life, please do not message me after and ask me about specific points in this podcast. This podcast is essentially the equivalent of me doing ayahuasca. I have no idea what I'm saying in the moment, and I certainly don't want to be reminded after the fact. But here's the thing: if you are a secondary student and you're in class right now and your teacher has pressed play on this podcast, I want you to ring the teaching council and dilate to report a teacher immediately. This is not for secondary student consumption. Please make it stop. Make it stop. Now I'm doing my quick shout-outs and then we can all move on with our lives. Okay, I have my list. So Kane, the big shout out to all these people who got in touch to say that they're really enjoying the pod, and we have a few new listeners as well. So thank you so much. Big shout-outs to Keen, Kieran, Alva, Deirdre, Abigail, Stacy, Linda, Hela, Helena, Patrick, Daniel, Ella, and Jennifer. Oh, and Claire and Pauline. Thank you so much. I've been I have a little um just a little document, and I just, if I get a message from people, I just jot down the names that I know to mention the next time. Thank you so much for listening. If you have enjoyed the pod, just to let you know, obviously, we're not making any money off the pod as such yet. But uh what I would love, if you don't mind, if you have enjoyed the pod, if you could rate or review us, it only takes one minute. But somebody was only telling me in a comedy gig the other day, did not realize they're in radio on podcasting. They were telling me how important the reviews are. Did not realize this. And on Spotify, if you listen, it literally takes two seconds, and then you just click how many stars, which PS five. Five stars! If you're gonna leave, if you're gonna leave less than five stars, don't bother, keep your opinions to yourself. They're wrong. Okay, thanks so much for listening, guys. Be kind to strangers. Benjamin Netanyahu is definitely dead.