Recognizing emotional triggers
Racist comment from inside the team from one visible minority to another and from one manager to another (white manager making joke insults to other white manager; white manager making joke insults to visible minority manager)
Relationship: I had no power and was under scrutiny and micromanagement from the white boss. I was the only woman on the team. Everyone else was a tech person, I was the curriculum person.
Goal: to increase workplace sense of psychological safety
Problem: coming into a team climate of conflicting relationships and power dynamics, without power. People with power were vicious and cutting, atmosphere of one man upmanship and scarcity
What I actually did: First I tried to divert attention from the racism by complimenting the person who had been targeted. This just made it worse. Eventually I shut down and made myself as small as possible. Felt intimidated and undermined. Didn’t talk to anyone about it. Left the contract.
Why I felt so powerless in the situation: it was a short term contract, I was working on a project I did not have previous knowledge of, I didn’t know the team who had worked together in various projects in different countries, the politics were always hot and I didn’t understand them or know who to talk to about them
What I would have done differently: thought more carefully about why I had such a strong emotional reaction that I couldn’t get past – in fact it related back to me being beat up as a child by a taunting bully who was similar to the white boss in this incident. If I had understood that this was a childhood trigger, I could have swallowed my fear and spoken directly but privately to the people doing the racist comments, taking care not to make them lose face or feel humiliated and showing my belief in their capacity to be encouraging and supportive.
Principle: This is an injustice disguised as a “joke” and is one of the indicators of social dominance. Racist comments cannot be allowed to grow, they create a toxic atmosphere. Social dominance and narcissism are dangerous – if you are seen as not bowing to their will, they will crush you. It has to be handled delicately so that the people causing the problem don’t make it worse for their victims or for anyone else.
Think about various ways to deal with the issue/ from the side/ individually/ group setting/confrontation/. Be systematic and strategic
Strategies: Consider your emotional reaction to each one, then choose the one you can do with confidence
Recognizing emotional triggers
Racist comment from inside the team from one visible minority to another and from one manager to another (white manager making joke insults to other white manager; white manager making joke insults to visible minority manager)
Relationship: I had no power and was under scrutiny and micromanagement from the white boss. I was the only woman on the team. Everyone else was a tech person, I was the curriculum person.
Goal: to increase workplace sense of psychological safety
Problem: coming into a team climate of conflicting relationships and power dynamics, without power. People with power were vicious and cutting, atmosphere of one man upmanship and scarcity
What I actually did: First I tried to divert attention from the racism by complimenting the person who had been targeted. This just made it worse. Eventually I shut down and made myself as small as possible. Felt intimidated and undermined. Didn’t talk to anyone about it. Left the contract.
Why I felt so powerless in the situation: it was a short term contract, I was working on a project I did not have previous knowledge of, I didn’t know the team who had worked together in various projects in different countries, the politics were always hot and I didn’t understand them or know who to talk to about them
What I would have done differently: thought more carefully about why I had such a strong emotional reaction that I couldn’t get past – in fact it related back to me being beat up as a child by a taunting bully who was similar to the white boss in this incident. If I had understood that this was a childhood trigger, I could have swallowed my fear and spoken directly but privately to the people doing the racist comments, taking care not to make them lose face or feel humiliated and showing my belief in their capacity to be encouraging and supportive.
Principle: This is an injustice disguised as a “joke” and is one of the indicators of social dominance. Racist comments cannot be allowed to grow, they create a toxic atmosphere. Social dominance and narcissism are dangerous – if you are seen as not bowing to their will, they will crush you. It has to be handled delicately so that the people causing the problem don’t make it worse for their victims or for anyone else.
Think about various ways to deal with the issue/ from the side/ individually/ group setting/confrontation/. Be systematic and strategic
Strategies: Consider your emotional reaction to each one, then choose the one you can do with confidence