81. Our 2nd Unassisted Home Birth Journey with Midwife Mike

My husband, Michael Twomey, affectionately known to many as "Midwife Mike," joins me this week for an intimate retelling of our home birthing adventure, where we embraced the unexpected with both hands—and a splash of humor. Unpack the riveting tales of unassisted childbirth, where the warmth of our own home set the stage for life's most miraculous performance. From booming laughs over forgotten pool liners to the silent reverence of catching our own baby, we navigate the ebb and flow of birthing outside the hospital. 

Home births come with their own brand of unpredictability. And Michael and I don't shy away from the nitty-gritty details, whether it's the challenge of filling up a birthing pool under duress or the intense focus required as labor progresses. We recount the raw power and emotional strength tapped into during childbirth, and Mike shares his perspective on the partner's pivotal role. The episode is a journey through the preparation, the mishaps, and the profound lessons learned—ensuring a safe, serene space for welcoming new life while trusting in the natural order of birth.

As we wrap up with the story of our family's newest addition, we explore the early days of parenting with candid reflections on breastfeeding, the nuances of baby gear, and the sweet significance of a rainbow tie for our umbilical cord. Our conversation is a celebration of resilience, a testament to the beauty of family, and an empowering message of trust in life's most transformative moments. Join us for this episode, not just for the stories, but for the strength and positivity we hope to instill in your own journey.

Transcript

Rebecca Twomey: 0:32

Hello and welcome to the Radiant Mission podcast. My name is Rebecca Twomey and I'm here with my amazing co-host and sister, Rachel Smith. Hey, everyone, and a special guest that's snuck in here and it's a man and you did not make him come in. I was invited. He was invited. He was not forced to come on this episode. He was asked do you want to be a part of this? And he said yes and his name is Michael Toomey. You've heard him before, my husband. Welcome to the show.

Michael Twomey: 1:10

Thank you.

Rebecca Twomey: 1:11

Welcome Mikey with the glasses.

Michael Twomey: 1:14

My name is Michael Twomey.

Rebecca Twomey: 1:17

Rachel, you got to share the story of Mikey with the glasses with our audience so they know what you're talking about. So Mikey is from Staten Island and he's got that accent, and he also, for some reason, permanently has sunglasses affixed to the top of his head Like a headband. Yeah, like 80% of his life. I didn't even see him on your eyes very often.

Rebecca Twomey: 1:43

They're just always on his head and I guess, years and years ago, we were all in Florida and you had your glasses and was that our brother? Someone was like well, so we were going to take a family photo of all of us with our, our parents, all of us kids were there and all the grandkids were there, and so we were going to take a picture of everyone and somebody said hey, Mikey with the glasses, how are you guys trying to tell the story you don't even remember?

Michael Twomey: 2:15

We're talking about family photo. I have glasses on my head and Stephanie goes hey, Mikey, with the glasses, take a moment. What are you doing?

Rebecca Twomey: 2:26

Wasn't it Stephanie's dad, stephanie's dad.

Michael Twomey: 2:30

No, that was. You guys all just laughed about the fact that her dad, Joe, is from New York and when we saw each other, we've literally never seen each other before in our whole lives. And he got there and I was like, oh, Joe, and he goes, hey, how are you doing? And it was like we do each other and it's been like 30 years.

Rebecca Twomey: 2:49

So you Italians, you can spot each other.

Michael Twomey: 2:55

That's my Italians.

Rebecca Twomey: 2:56

Yeah, yeah, that's how you got the Mikey with the glasses nickname and that's what even my kids call you Uncle Mikey with the glasses. That's how I sign his name on cards to any of the nieces and nephews Uncle Mikey with the glasses, like those forever known as that. Well, we didn't mention that we're on a mission to encourage and inspire others as they're navigating through their life and with their relationship with Christ. So I want to mention that, but also that we're in a series called God's Design for Birth and a lot of people are probably like well, why is this man here? Haven't you been talking about? Men don't know anything about birth? Well, guess what this one does. Midwife Mike is his nickname because he was my baby catcher for Benny baby number two. You got to be midwife Mikey with the glasses that day Midwife Mikey with the glasses, and so he was also a big part of Brinsburg, obviously, because we had a wild pregnancy and then an unassisted birth, unassisted home birth, and it's just me and Mike planning this birth event that was going to come and preparing for it and everything like that.

Rebecca Twomey: 4:21

So, yeah, we just want to talk a little bit about rebirth or unassisted birth and kind of what that looks like, and what that looks like with a husband involved too. I think that a lot of women are very intimidated by rebirthing because their husbands don't support them in that and they're scared and they're like are you crazy? We need to go to the hospital and all that. So I'd actually like to ask you the first question, which is what makes you different from all these other men that are afraid of home birth and afraid of unassisted birth? Why do you have such confidence in having babies at home?

Michael Twomey: 5:05

My wife. I mean, at the end of the day, it all really comes down to the mom For me. I just had a lot of faith and I know the experience that we had first and we needed to do something different. And this was it and really we didn't go into. You know, going back to Benny's birth, we didn't expect to free birth, it was just the opportunity and the door that opened for us.

Rebecca Twomey: 5:36

Yeah, we didn't plan it. Yeah, but we planned to. We were prepared to have a home birth and that prepared us.

Michael Twomey: 5:46

But not a free birth.

Rebecca Twomey: 5:48

Not a free birth.

Michael Twomey: 5:48

Not a free birth, but then once you do it once I mean you realize you really don't want anybody there anyway.

Rebecca Twomey: 5:53

Yeah, yeah, my Mike's responsibilities in birth, in the birthing time, are setting up the pool, being there to support me mentally, emotionally, physically, and clean up crew, because you need one of those, I mean birth, where it's a little messy.

Rebecca Twomey: 6:14

These babies coming out. It's not like you know cleanest thing in the world. If you and your baby in the shower, that actually would be probably pretty ideal for a quick wash it all down the drain, yeah yeah, but it's definitely good to have someone there. I do see women sometimes that have free births without anybody and that's something to think about and they clean up their own mess. Yeah yeah, that's pretty. That's wild, wild bird. That is wild.

Michael Twomey: 6:44

Might as well. Just go do it out in the field. If you're going to do it, that wild.

Rebecca Twomey: 6:47

Yeah right, Just like in a side or in a creek or somewhere where you don't have a lot to clean up, a lot. I mean because if you had a baby in your bed and ended up yourself.

Rebecca Twomey: 6:57

It'd just be a lot, a lot, a lot, and you'd have to get a new mattress if you didn't put plastic down. So we learned a lot between actually the last birth and this birth, speaking of plastic, and that was one of them. We were told use a shower curtain liner because they're cheap and they're easy, but they're so small that you have to use many of them to cover a mattress. And because they're so thin, they're kind of slippery, and it was a good idea, but honestly, a better idea is to use a gigantic drop cloth that's plastic. So we did that the second time and I bought a bunch of them so that we could basically line everything like one draped over the bed, tucked in, and then another one tucked into the side of the bed so that it's just completely covered, and then the third one was on the floor and the one that the second one that was tucked into the side of the bed also draped across the carpet. Because, listen, we learned, were you setting all this up, mike, while she, her, was in labor?

Rebecca Twomey: 8:02

Yeah, and draping all the drop cloths like a.

Michael Twomey: 8:06

Set it all up and just get everything ready while she's in the water. But it was actually perfect the way we had it set it up this time, because right before she got back in bed.

Rebecca Twomey: 8:17

Well, you're jumping ahead.

Michael Twomey: 8:18

I'm just.

Rebecca Twomey: 8:20

We got to that part of the story. I know, I know what you want to say.

Rebecca Twomey: 8:24

Yeah, sure you do so, look back up before we get there. But the point is to say that we learned a lot between the last one and this one. So we went into this with a game plan and, like, mike knew what he needed to do and I just needed to focus on having a baby, so let's talk about the birth part and then we can share all the cool fun details that, yeah, why don't you start at going into your labor time?

Rebecca Twomey: 8:48

Because we were with you a couple of weeks before I had baby. You had your baby. Yeah, we were hoping you would go into labor while I was at the birthing center so that we could get a two for one. Two for one, and we were going to try to get that to work out, although I was having sympathy contractions when you were in the birthing center.

Rebecca Twomey: 9:07

So we went back home and it honestly felt like as soon as we got home I was like up a creek. That's when I felt like I was having a lot of hip pain and that pelvic pain and just I was getting there right, because I was at the end. And we talked about last episode how we had a wild pregnancy. So my guess date was a guess and we didn't know exactly when baby was going to come. But I had an estimate.

Rebecca Twomey: 9:39

And it's funny how things change and this isn't the same for everybody, but it has been for me that a lot of people get really annoyed and frustrated at the end of their pregnancy because people are like, have you had the baby yet? Have you had the baby yet? You know? Like, are you, you think you're having a baby today? And like asking all these questions and stuff. But I kind of make a game out of it at the end.

Rebecca Twomey: 10:00

This helped with Ben and I brought it back with Brynn, where I go on Facebook to my Facebook friends and I'm like place your guesses, what day do you think the baby's going to be born? And this time it was fun because I got to say, like, what gender do you think is going to be a born or a girl, and how much do you think the baby's going to weigh, and it just kind of is like a distraction for people, I feel like. And then I feel like when your friends and family are doing that, then they're like hoping that they're right in a way, like oh, I hope it's. Yeah, I thought you were going to give birth on July 4th.

Michael Twomey: 10:34

That was my guess.

Rebecca Twomey: 10:36

I did not. So, fun fact, mike's mom's birthday is July 4th and one of our good friends is the day after that and I'm like I got to hold out. I can't be having a baby on the same day, like I'm going to, as if we have any control over that Going into July 4th. I didn't feel like I was going to have a baby on July 4th. I was like no baby's not coming today. So that was one of the fun things we talked about last episode too. We didn't know if we're going to have a girl on the same day, so that was something to look, mike.

Rebecca Twomey: 11:07

You thought it was going to be a girl all along, didn't you Me? No, mike, didn't you know Mike? He thought it was going to be a girl and then at the end he was like it's going to be a boy.

Michael Twomey: 11:17

I was hoping. I was wishful thinking that it was going to be a boy, but I knew it would be a girl.

Rebecca Twomey: 11:22

He was trying to change his mind. I've just had three babies.

Michael Twomey: 11:24

so far, I knew all three.

Rebecca Twomey: 11:27

He has the intuition. Apparently I do so. Leading up to going into labor, the last couple of weeks of pregnancy I had a lot of contractions whatever you want to call that For your nominal labor Braxton, hicks, all of them are men's names. So whatever man's name may be, the thing we want to call it. My uterus was preparing is really what it comes down to, because before you get birth your uterus starts to contract and it's preparing, it's moving the baby little by little, and so obviously I knew it was going to come.

Rebecca Twomey: 12:02

But the funny thing is this time I wasn't so focused on some of the other things that I have been in the past, like mucus plug, because I've learned that your mucus plug can fall out and regenerate and come back. That happened to me three times with Ben. This was like that doesn't mean anything. I also wasn't as crazy about red raspberry leaf. This time I did drink some, but I wasn't as on top of it as I have been previously. I feel like my uterus has worked hard enough and she needed it too much.

Rebecca Twomey: 12:35

I definitely didn't do any dates, except for the one you had me eat and I just kind of was like let's see, this is a little wild pregnancy. Let's see how this goes. And I think I would say like the couple of days leading up to I was it was ramping up, but it wasn't anything to where I felt oh for sure the baby's going to come soon. And I did have both. I went into labor with both Brooke and Ben at 39 and five. So when 39 and five came I definitely was getting kind of like is she going to come or baby? I didn't know Is the baby going to come or whatever. But the date came and went and we talked last time about how kind of where I was mentally back and forth but I started to do a lot of fear clearing. I've mentioned in the past I know some people are very against this, but I've done hypnobabies in the past and I did listen to hypnobabies tracks this time and it got me feeling prepared mentally to just believe that I can get birth and all that. And so I was doing like making sure that if I had any nervousness whatsoever I would just focus on clearing whatever I was afraid of or nervous about.

Rebecca Twomey: 13:52

And then on Friday, july 7th, I started to have some mild contractions and it was a work day. It was actually my last day at work because, as we talked about, the reason I got that one ultrasound was to make sure my dating was okay, like so that I could plan my maternity leave. And I planned that that would be my last day. And then Monday I was off for maternity leave, so I had a meeting at two o'clock and I was talking with my team and the contractions were starting to bother me a little bit, like yeah, I remember you texting me when you were on that call and you're like I'm really feeling it now. I think this is real. And that was like the last text I got from you and then the rest of the time I was talking to mom, because then you were busy on your call and then everything happened. That's right. Oops, sorry, didn't mean to spoil it. What's that? Nothing, and that's right.

Rebecca Twomey: 14:58

And mom came here on that Monday. She came the day before 4th of July was on a Tuesday. She flew in on Monday and I was kind of joking like man, you're really cutting it, cutting at the limit here, mom, because I usually so far had a history of 39 and five. So for her to come at, I feel like she came at 39 and three or something. You know it was like really thank you for coming, so now I can have the baby, like we were just joking around. So she was here and yeah, I was on that call and that started to pick up and I remember saying to my team I was like listen, guys, I'm sorry if I seem kind of like edgy. I wasn't my normal chipper happy self. I was kind of short. I'm like I'm having some contractions. Yeah, you're like literally in labor. Sorry if I'm short with you guys.

Rebecca Twomey: 15:50

Yeah, I was like sorry for a little grumpy or short with you guys, I'm having some like contractions here and I just remember saying at the end all right, everybody, I'm going to go have the baby now, like jokingly. And then I hung up the call and I was like I should go upstairs. But I really I should go upstairs. So I went upstairs into my birth closet and I just draped over the ball and Mike works from home too and he was upstairs. And so I walked by you and you were on a call and I was basically like I'm going in the closet, I'm having contractions, and he was just like okay, and so I'm in there for a little bit.

Rebecca Twomey: 16:36

I feel like you did come check on me once or something and then go back or I don't know. I started to time things and I'm like oh, they're really close together now, like it's already already there, like we've already ramped after just being in there for a little while. So we're talking like it was two, 30 or three block when I got off that ball and went upstairs and was in the closet and then I really felt them ramping up a lot. So I called Mike from the closet and he didn't answer and I'm like how could you not answer the phone Like this is like serious here. Did you know she was in labor, mike, or you just thought-.

Michael Twomey: 17:16

No, I didn't think that she was actually in labor. I like knew that some things were going on. She was like texting me that hey, something you know I'm feeling something.

Michael Twomey: 17:26

What's going on? And then when she called me, I was on a work call and it was like 2.59. And there was another call at 3.00 and I'm like, listen, will? I got to go check on my wife. I'm pretty sure she was about to have this baby tell everybody where I'm at, like I'm not going to make this 3 o'clock. And so I like missed her phone call. And then I just, you know, closed that work call and was just getting up to go to her. Like I didn't need to talk to her on the phone, I was just going to go check.

Rebecca Twomey: 17:57

Yeah, so-.

Michael Twomey: 17:58

And I remember the moment of getting into the room and like opening the closet door and I immediately got like a rush came over me like a pens and needles and I knew that it was like on, it was like totally on and it was way further than I thought it was.

Rebecca Twomey: 18:16

What gave you that rush? Was it like the father's hormonal intuition, or was it like seeing Rebecca?

Michael Twomey: 18:23

I think it's hormones and a mix of like hormones and just Holy Spirit in there and like I felt it. I felt it as soon as I opened the door. It's like I didn't even make eye contact with her, but I just like the energy was in there that it was happening, you know.

Rebecca Twomey: 18:40

Yeah, my eyes were closed. I was just leaning over the ball and I'm like about time. Glad you came in here. I called you, you know, and he's like I know, but I just was going to come in he had a long commute down that hallway.

Rebecca Twomey: 18:52

It was a real long commute. I was really worried because he did, because he didn't answer the phone. So I'm sitting there thinking do I need to get up and go get him? But then I was like whatever, whatever it is, it's going to be. And I just went back into my labor land and was just focusing. I had my headphones in, I was listening to my tracks and like I wasn't going to get out of that. So when he comes into the closet, I'm like you got to get that pull-up stat it's time. And he's like, really, already. I'm like yes, it is.

Michael Twomey: 19:29

She was like fast, don't waste any time. You got to set the pull-up, now get water in it. It's like rushing me along. I was rushing him along. I was like, whoa, you are way further along than I thought. This is like hot and heavy going fast.

Rebecca Twomey: 19:43

So I actually you guys barely even got much water in that pool.

Michael Twomey: 19:47

Yeah.

Rebecca Twomey: 19:49

I actually got up from the ball and our closet is right off of the bathroom where we set up our birth pool. So I went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet backwards. I was like, all right, people talk about dilation station, let's do this. And I'm like I'm going to sit here for as long as I'm able to do while he's setting up the pool. So our bathroom, where the toilet is, it's a toilet room like a small little room where the toilet is, and then the water closet. The water closet, yeah, and then he's on the. I can't see him because the shower's on the other side of that but we hook up the hose for the birth pool to the faucet spigot whatever you want to call it the shower head. He takes off the shower head and he puts the hose where that shower head would go so that he can run the water into the birth pool, which is in the middle of our bathroom. And I just want to mention this real quick. I actually have seen this a couple of times.

Rebecca Twomey: 20:51

People have asked if they should get a birth pool, and some of the groups that I'm in the difference between a birth pool if you already have a bathtub. We have a gigantic bathtub in that bathroom and I've labored in there with Brooke and I did not like it because it's a hard bottom, you're on your knees a lot, you're trying to move around a lot and it's not comfortable. So with Ben I actually, after the midwife drop desk, I was going to use her pool, but I just felt like I need to just buy my own. I had just this feeling like just buy it, and I'm glad that I did. Because now here we are, birth number two using our own birth pool, getting your money's worth. There you go.

Rebecca Twomey: 21:30

But a birth pool is different in that it is designed for birthing babies. It's very deep. You don't want to give birth to a baby in water, half out of the water. You want to be fully submerged. So a birth pool is nice and deep. It also has the handles on the side that I like a lot because I can like hold onto them and kind of move back and forth or you can drape over the side and it's very soft and it has padding on the bottom. So I'm a big fan of birth pools. I love mine and I think that it's great. I also. We get a birth pool liner that basically just drapes over it, so that you don't have to clean the pool afterwards, you just drain everything out of it and you throw that liner away.

Rebecca Twomey: 22:15

It's kind of like when you go to the nail salon and they put one of those plastic liners on the bottom of your foot bath similar kind of concept. So when I peek around, I don't know the timeline of things. You're going to have to share some of the timeline of things with what happened with you, because I'm over here laboring and Mike is going through so much drama trying to get this pool up, because when he went into the shower to do the hose, he knocked over a glass bottle and it shattered on the floor of the shower and then he stepped on it and the shard of glass like lodged into his foot. When he took it out, or like picked it out, he had blood all over his hand, which he then got blood all over the wall. So tell us the drama, mike, because you're the one experiencing it.

Michael Twomey: 23:10

So it all started with that phone call that I didn't pick up and I was just like going to run into the closet. I had to say goodbye to work and let's start this birth. I get in and she's like you need to move and get water in this tub and I'm like, all right, I'm on it and I just immediately go start to fill up. You got to blow it up first, it's inflatable and then I go to You're blowing it up by mouth. What.

Rebecca Twomey: 23:40

I said so you're blowing it up by mouth.

Michael Twomey: 23:41

Yeah, yeah, I'm turning blue and and um, no, so we have a pump. You know I get it blown up and then you got to put water in it. So I go to put water in it and I'm looking for the hose attachment, and it's the wrong size. I, the first birth that we did at home, I bought a piece and it was the wrong piece first, and so I had enough time where I tested it and I bought the second piece. Well, for this birth, I just knew I had the right piece, and so when I opened the box and I used the piece, it was the wrong piece.

Michael Twomey: 24:20

It was the wrong one, so it was the wrong size and the hose did not connect to the shower. So it was like a critical failure where I had to then hold. First of all, I had to be so stressed out that I couldn't find it and I, like you, don't have time to be like let me go run a home depot over here.

Rebecca Twomey: 24:40

So Well, where did the original piece go?

Michael Twomey: 24:43

It was in a different place that I didn't know, with all his stuff. It wasn't where I thought it was and I didn't have time to go.

Rebecca Twomey: 24:49

He didn't do a test run this time.

Michael Twomey: 24:50

Fool around with it. I didn't know I needed it.

Rebecca Twomey: 24:52

Right, right after.

Michael Twomey: 24:54

So I am literally holding this hose up to the shower like, and it's dripping on me, just dripping down, and like water's hardly coming out Right, it was soaked. And then she goes and looks at the tub and she goes you didn't put the liner in. So there's like three inches of water in there and the liner is not even in it. And I'm like, oh, so I just take the liner and like, put it in. And so now the liner is like floating and I continue to fill it up and I'm like running back and forth Everything is crazy and I knock over this glass bottle. Which, first of all? Who keeps a glass bottle in the shower?

Michael Twomey: 25:35

I don't know it was a serum. Don't defend yourself it was a shower.

Michael Twomey: 25:39

It's only plastic bottles in the shower. This is why you don't have glass by the pool, because this is the kind of stuff that happens. So I jump into it, I knock it over and it breaks and I see it on the floor and I just go all right, it's here. And then I'm like running around, jumping out of the shower, and one of the times I jump out of the shower and land right on this huge shard of glass that's sticking up like spikes and I literally land right on it.

Michael Twomey: 26:11

My foot, I feel it. I'm like, oh, I thought there was only glass in the shower. This glass piece like it cracked and fell out of the shower. And so I look at my I look down and I go, oh my God, there's blood. What happened? And I look at my foot and there's like a gash in my foot, just a huge gash in the middle of my left foot, and I'm like I really don't have time to stop, so I'm just going to bleed a little bit and like continue running around, and so my number one job is fill the pool. So after I You're failing miserably. Whatever running around I did, I just had literally had to stand there and hold this hose up and get just dripped on because there was no seal on the hose and finally it must have taken like an hour, probably an hour and 15 minutes, because it's a lot of water that has to go in there.

Rebecca Twomey: 27:09

It didn't take an hour and 15 minutes. It felt like a lifetime You're already giving birth to that.

Michael Twomey: 27:11

It felt like a lifetime. Whatever it was, it must have been like at least a week.

Rebecca Twomey: 27:15

Felt like a lifetime for him.

Michael Twomey: 27:16

Yeah, and finally we get the water in. And then I look around and I've just been bleeding all over Like I'm running up and down the hallway.

Rebecca Twomey: 27:24

Oh my gosh.

Michael Twomey: 27:25

And I go all right, I need to like, just like, put on a shoe. And so I just put on my oldest pair of shoes to like just keep my foot together, because I was just bleeding out all the time. So that's the Wow.

Rebecca Twomey: 27:40

So this is your own personal labor experience. Yeah right, One of the times-.

Michael Twomey: 27:45

I've blooded more than her.

Rebecca Twomey: 27:47

One of the times that I checked on him early on was when there was no liner, as he mentioned. I was like the liner's not in here. And then, after he put the liner in, he was filling a little bit more and I'm like I'm just going to get in, like I got in before it was full. I just was like I got to get in here because I need to be getting my zone. But before I got in I remember looking over at him and he's all like there's blood everywhere and he's soaked because he's holding the hose and it's getting all over him. I'm like are you okay? And he's like, yeah, I'm okay. And it was just kind of almost like a funny moment. So it's like somebody here needs to go to the hospital and it's not me, not the one that's giving birth, it's the other guy who's over here bleeding out of his foot. But he did continue to hold that hose while I got into the water and it continued to fill up and I just was still.

Rebecca Twomey: 28:52

This was the longest I've listened to my tracks, I will say, because when I went into labor with Ben, I listened to it until, basically, I got in the water and then I kind of like discarded it and kind of moved on. But this time I just and it helped me to stay in the zone with all this nonsense I was going on with Mike in the shower, so I'm just going along, and then I felt like I was getting close and Mike put a sock on and a shoe on to get on the side of the pool and he was just kind of standing there with me and I guess I think you had your bathing suit on or something and whatever. How crazy would it have been if this glass popped the pool and then it just. Well, then I couldn't have gone into the shower either, because there was glass in there. It was a good thing. So, circling back to the plastic on the floor, it was the thing that we had all this plastic on the floor because it didn't catch on.

Michael Twomey: 29:47

I bled all over it it all. Wow, I was running around, I had us only a sock on for a while and then I realized that I was just bleeding right through the sock. It was just soaked and everywhere I stepped blood was coming out.

Rebecca Twomey: 29:59

Did you like need stitches, or was it just a?

Michael Twomey: 30:04

If I went somewhere they probably would have stitched it, but I used like one of those.

Rebecca Twomey: 30:10

I used a bandaid. You know the glue where you glue your skin back together. Yeah, I've used that on my kids' heads.

Michael Twomey: 30:16

Yeah, and that's what I did, so it was good.

Rebecca Twomey: 30:19

It's great.

Michael Twomey: 30:20

I kept it super clean and just like peroxide it, but I was limping around. It was actually really bad and hurt a lot.

Rebecca Twomey: 30:26

Yeah, we kind of addressed that. After the baby came, then we we meaning Mike and mom cleaned him up. I think she made a Walmart order.

Michael Twomey: 30:36

Yeah, she made a Walmart order and got like liquid bandaid and.

Rebecca Twomey: 30:39

She got all the stuff to take care of it. So I guess we should talk about mom, because she was here at our house, she was watching Brooke and Ben One of them was taking. I think Ben Benny would have been taking a nap when this started, but I remember mom texting me that Ben got woken up because Mike was looking for shoes and I was like what is he looking for shoes for? I actually didn't know this whole part about your foot, but she was like he woke Ben up by the worst time because she was going to try to be in there, yeah, and so mom and I were texting the whole time and there was like no plan, really like she was going to take care of the kids if she had to. I was like mom, go next door, cause you guys are really good friends with all your neighbors. I'm like go next door and see if you can leave the kids with them for, like you know, and it's not going to take long, like an hour, it sounds like she's really close so you can be in and take pictures and videos again, like she's the first time and she's like they're not home and her and I are just like texting back and forth because I'm like fine, someone watch that again. Smile.

Rebecca Twomey: 31:48

Yeah, she went to our neighbors that are next door to us. We're very close with we're close with all of our neighbors, so she could have gone to. Anybody would have helped her out, but she ended up going to. So if you are a listener of the show, you may remember Sarah, the lactation consultant. Her mother-in-law lives down the street from us and she's a very good friend of ours, and so that was the second place that she was like okay, they're not home, let me go over there. And she went over there and she, of course, was like yes, let me take them in. And then mom came back so she could be here for the birth part, like you said. So mom shows up and it's like right towards the end at this point, yeah, I think she was. It was like within minutes when she probably got in there, maybe the last 20 minutes, something like that yeah, so I was thinking she took some photos and videos and stuff like that.

Rebecca Twomey: 32:42

And it was interesting going into this labor because, like I said last time, I didn't know how it was gonna be, compared to my birth with Ben. That labor went so smoothly and it was very quick. I think it was like what, three hours in change or something like that, with Ben, from like the time that my contractions picked up to the time that he was born, and so when I got into the pool I just kind of went with what my body was feeling, just like I did the time before. And you know what was funny? It was like I wanted to do the same things. You know, I liked to be on my knees, but also kind of like swaying and opening up my hips and opening up my legs and leaning forward and the same movements that I did with him is what I felt this time too.

Rebecca Twomey: 33:29

But things went a little bit differently when I finally started to feel pushy and feeling ready to push. I didn't have the feeling that I had with Ben, which was that I had to go number two. I didn't have that this time. I was waiting, almost like waiting for that. Once that happens, then it's time, but I didn't have that. I just felt like pushing. And so I started pushing and I felt her head come out and I felt the head, but I still felt really uncomfortable, like I could feel her head out, but it didn't feel the same as it did with Ben. It wasn't until I leaned back, just like I did with him, that I realized or that we both realized I don't know if it was Mike or me first her head wasn't out all the way. It, like with Ben, when I was upright and his head came down, his head came down all the way to his neck. With her it was her head, but not all the way to her neck Almost, but not all the way. So that's why I was feeling a lot of pressure.

Rebecca Twomey: 34:36

Still, did you not have the ring of fire like that, with her head half out? Yeah, I would say probably a little bit. Yeah, it definitely didn't feel. It felt like I needed to push more, like it was very full feeling. And so when I sat back, that was when Mike was like, just relax, take your time. Because, listen, I watch all these birth videos and women. Some women are just so calm and cool and collected and I'm like I wanna try that. I wanna be calmer In the moment. I was frantic.

Michael Twomey: 35:16

Like you were calm, but then you collected and in control until the last two minutes of the birth, where I could tell that you were like just getting anxious, like all right, just get the baby out. And I was telling you whoa, whoa, whoa, you are there, like just breathe, like let the next contraction come. You know, you don't need to rush this, you don't need to be in control, just relax, cause you're there, like she was basically out. You know she was basically out, I could see her. She was completely under the water. There was no reason to be frantic.

Rebecca Twomey: 35:59

Yeah, that helped.

Michael Twomey: 35:59

It was like just let it happen. You're 10 seconds away.

Rebecca Twomey: 36:03

That helped me a lot, that he kind of centered, because then I was able to take a deep breath, like he said, and I just laid back and I kind of I smiled and I was just like all right, and I chilled back again until I was calm enough to start pushing again. But just that discomfort over head not being all the way out, it was just a weird feeling. So it kind of had me panic for a second. But I definitely learned. Another thing I learned from your birth was the low moaning. When I had been, I screamed like a couple of times I had a couple of good screams. I didn't do that this time.

Michael Twomey: 36:39

You. I knew that we were 10, 15 minutes out because you did let out a couple of like hard screams, like the first time. It definitely was not as easy and in my ear as the first time, but it was. I knew by the intensity of your moan or whatever you want to call it. I knew that we were there. It was like your signature move right at the end. Signature move, yeah.

Rebecca Twomey: 37:07

Everyone's signature move is your. I mean, I was screaming like a banshee for hours in mine. The thought never even occurred to me not to yeah, but you were keeping it low toned and that was one of the yeah I was at first. I actually know what Mike means that there's a point of like the low tone and then the point of like really, where that head is poking, like when it's like right, I think what it is is when our pelvis is just like being split open by the baby. I think that's the screaming part because, like, we're being moved around from the inside. So yeah, yeah, totally yeah. So sat back and then pushed her out and then it was kind of funny because, going into this birth, you know how you were going to have Chris catch your baby and then in the end you snatched him up and caught your baby.

Rebecca Twomey: 38:06

You kind of like inspired me and I'm like I want to. I think I want to catch my baby. And then, when I was in the moment, there was nothing I wanted to do less. I literally was sitting on my hands in the pool and I was like I don't want to catch the baby. Catch the baby please. Good, because that's Did you say it, or it was just like that's what you guys knew was going to happen. Oh, I said it. I think I said I need you to catch the baby, yeah.

Michael Twomey: 38:34

I think you did, but I also was like getting in. I knew when you went to your back bloody foot. We were there and then I saw that the baby was basically out and I'm like, just relax, we're here. And she was like, did you?

Rebecca Twomey: 38:49

take your shoe off. What happened to your foot?

Michael Twomey: 38:51

I took my shoe off. He kept the sock on, but he had his shoe off the sock was like really good because it basically kept my split skin together Like I might have been bleeding out, but at least like my foot wasn't flapping around, like it was held together by the sock.

Rebecca Twomey: 39:09

I love how this birth story is like, equally about Mike's cut, yes, and that's where Mike is for sure.

Michael Twomey: 39:15

It was almost the most eventful thing of the birth. It was so fake.

Rebecca Twomey: 39:20

It was the most dangerous, for sure On the most dramatic and the most painful bed of the heart and painful part of my birth was Mike's cut.

Michael Twomey: 39:28

It was me, yeah, taking care of my cut.

Rebecca Twomey: 39:32

Mike's cut was the star of the show.

Michael Twomey: 39:36

I think you should actually call this episode Mike's foot. Mike's foot injured. Mike injured his foot during my wild birth.

Rebecca Twomey: 39:48

Mike's foot story. So you get in the tub with your mangled foot and the baby's on the way out.

Michael Twomey: 39:57

Yeah, I just hop right in, like she's ready to go. I just hop right in, put my hands underneath and wait for the baby to pop out. And then, when the baby's underwater this time, since I learned that until the baby actually comes above the water and breathes, they're not using their lungs I let her come out and I like washed her for a second. It was just like, wow, she's really just like loading, all good.

Rebecca Twomey: 40:25

And then I took her out, lay her on my Did you know, in that second it was a girl Like how was that? No?

Michael Twomey: 40:31

I didn't think about the gender until they both said it and looked and said it's a girl. I didn't even. I did not even think of it.

Rebecca Twomey: 40:42

Who said it?

Michael Twomey: 40:42

I was so relieved when the baby comes out I can think of nothing else but just like crying with joy, and I'm so grateful that we just did this alone, like it's. It is scary, even though we have a lot of faith, and you know it takes a lot of faith to do it alone, and when it's over it's like oh gosh.

Rebecca Twomey: 41:11

Yeah, when she came out and he lifted her and put her on my chest, I remember seeing the umbilical cord and it being like really thick. I felt like it was big, but I didn't see that it was a girl or a boy. But I remember thinking I didn't see any little peony or little testicles or anything Like usually a boy you can tell because you see those things when he would have handed the baby to me, and so I remember thinking I think it might be a girl. I didn't see anything. And then when I lifted her up to look I was like, oh, it's a girl.

Rebecca Twomey: 41:54

I was less surprised than I think, like maybe it would have been more fun if I was more surprised, because when I watched the video back I'm like, oh, it's a girl and it's like I'm not that, no, mom didn't get the video. Remember you had to redo that. Oh yeah, so I remember this, you're right. You're right, yes, because the reason I was pressuring mom so much to drop the kids off somewhere and get up there and be your videographer is because I literally texted mom she's really going to want a video of finding out what the baby is. So you got to get this video. And then when the baby was born, I'm like where's the video of finding out what the baby is? She's like I didn't get it, and so you told me later that she stopped recording, like right when you looked You're right, that's right, that, I guess that is why the video I have is like.

Rebecca Twomey: 42:52

I just say it's a girl and I don't sound at all like I just found out of this girl.

Michael Twomey: 42:57

Yeah, because it's definitely excited. I can remember you, just like you know you're in that state of euphoria after you just had the baby and you're just you were like oh, it's a girl.

Rebecca Twomey: 43:09

Oh, okay, remember. I don't know if you remember that. Yeah, you were definitely excited, and Mija.

Michael Twomey: 43:14

And your mom were both super excited that it was a girl and I was like, oh well, the baby's born. Yeah, it did not matter if it was a girl or a boy. The best part was that the baby was out.

Rebecca Twomey: 43:30

Yeah, was big. She was nine pounds, biggest one yet Ben was close. He was eight, 15, eight pounds 15 ounces, so he was close contender there. But yeah, she was born and she was pretty purple when she was born.

Michael Twomey: 43:48

He was super purple. It was actually terrifying.

Rebecca Twomey: 43:52

It was only terrifying to Mike and mom. I was not terrified at all.

Michael Twomey: 43:55

It was only terrifying to two out of three people in the room.

Rebecca Twomey: 43:59

It actually. It kind of scared me too, because mom texted me a picture within minutes that the baby was born and I was like she looks really purple, Is everything OK? And then mom didn't text me back for like 20 more minutes. I'm like is everything OK, mom?

Michael Twomey: 44:14

Yeah, she was definitely real blue and she took a little bit to start crying, but she was. She did let out some cries and she was breathing and she came to color fairly quickly. But the initial color I was like, oh man, that's a Smurf baby. This is like. This is not good.

Rebecca Twomey: 44:36

Yeah, they were almost like trying to freak me out.

Michael Twomey: 44:40

I know they weren't front, no one else in the room and you're the only judgment of like is this baby healthy and everything OK? And you've only seen two other babies be born in your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Contact there. You know the context there and that's the kind of.

Rebecca Twomey: 44:54

That's the thing and the difference with why it's so important that I'm invested and learning about birth and what's normal and what's not. That's why I wasn't worried. I was like this I've seen this happen with many, many different babies and the baby. It just takes a couple of minutes for baby to pink up and it, you know, took her a little bit of shoes. Fine, there was no issue. Yeah, yeah. So she was hooked up to her cord, she was getting that oxygen, she was on her, she was on her cord. So I didn't stay in the water for long because, same thing as last time, I wanted to, you know, make sure that I wasn't losing too much blood and it's hard to tell when you're in the water how much blood you're losing. So I almost immediately got out and as I was walking towards the bed this is the part that Mike wanted to tell earlier I was. The bathroom is right here and our bedroom is right outside of it and we have plastic running this, plastic sheets running Plastic, red corp, all the way, running all the way.

Rebecca Twomey: 45:59

Tucked into the side of the bed, draped over the side of the bed, and I get right next to the bed and I walk up to it and pause for a second and I'm like, oh, and then my placenta fell out. I mean, I pushed, I had to push a little bit, but I felt it right there and I was like, and I squeezed in and just popped right out, yeah, right onto the floor.

Michael Twomey: 46:25

Splattered right onto the floor, splattered all over the place, but it was basically like a Dexter episode. Everything was covered in plastic and it was perfect. That's what I was picturing.

Rebecca Twomey: 46:37

Because of that plastic was there, so got that placenta into our placenta bowl and then baby wasn't attached.

Michael Twomey: 46:44

Chopped it up, ate it right away.

Rebecca Twomey: 46:46

Oh my gosh. So interestingly, you know, most of us would want to like put the baby on us and golden hour and all that kind of stuff, but for whatever reason, I really wanted to go get in the shower because my placenta had detached, so it wasn't you or mom who held her.

Michael Twomey: 47:06

Definitely your mom.

Rebecca Twomey: 47:07

Mom took the baby so I could go in the shower and rinse off, because I figured, since the placenta's out, let me rinse off before I go get in bed. But then, as soon as I got into the shower, I'm like, why am I in the shower? I should be holding the baby. But you know, it was fine. I actually had more lots this time than I did with Ben, and so I was glad that I ended up getting in the shower. My intuition was leading me to do this, because as soon as that came out, I'm like I need to go get in the shower right now. And I sat in the bottom of the shower just squeezing some more and I squeezed out a bunch of clots, a lot, a bunch, and it wasn't pieces of placenta, because the placenta was completely intact. We checked it over, and so did the doula that took my placenta, because I did get it encapsulated, but I had a lot of clots.

Michael Twomey: 47:57

So it was like canned beets.

Rebecca Twomey: 47:59

Yeah, it kind of was. It was kind of like canned beets Canned cranberry sauce.

Michael Twomey: 48:05

Yeah, it's like canned cranberry sauce. It's like pieces of jelly, like more of a jelly.

Rebecca Twomey: 48:09

Yeah, jelly. So I definitely feel like I bled more this time than I did with Ben. I didn't believe it, and so did Mike, and so did Mike.

Michael Twomey: 48:19

It was a much more than the last time. That was a bloody show.

Rebecca Twomey: 48:24

But I got cleaned up and then I went and got in bed and was able to do my thing nurse her and finish GoldenEye and all that and then started his clean up crew and then mom shifted her attention to Mike with his foot and she ended up going back and picking up the kids so they could come meet the baby and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, what a whirlwind it was. So we should say what time she was born at four or something, Four.

Michael Twomey: 49:00

Four 20, no what was that Ben? I don't know. Four 22?, so she was born almost at the same time as Ben, then you know it had to be later than that, cause if you went into labor at like two or three, I think, actually I think you were done at like 445, five o'clock, you were done before the workday ended. I remember that, I remember. I remember, hey guys, I really did have the baby and it was like before five on a Friday.

Rebecca Twomey: 49:29

Yeah, and I don't know where I.

Michael Twomey: 49:31

I'm pretty sure it was like a quarter to five.

Rebecca Twomey: 49:33

Where I wrote it down. But if you remember, I was went up at three and then she was born before five, so I know that for a fact. Yeah, so it was like a two hour labor. It was very fast, hard and fast yeah. Very, very fast and I literally did text or I slacked my team and I was like I had the baby and I'm like why I'm just talking to you. What do you mean? You had the baby. That's crazy. That's the story. Everything except for the time of birth.

Rebecca Twomey: 50:04

It's pretty awesome. You guys are pros Apparently, so anyone can hire midwife Mikey with the glasses and Rebecca for free.

Michael Twomey: 50:17

They'll deliver your baby 445.

Rebecca Twomey: 50:21

Yeah, see that's what, and it started like between two and three, that's the most I got a confused because Ben was also born at four something 420 or 422.

Michael Twomey: 50:34

If we look at the camera or if we look at the video from the phone. Look at the birth certificate.

Rebecca Twomey: 50:39

Look at the birth certificate. So it's funny that both of them were born at before five After eight. Yeah, Mo here, and was it Friday with Ben too? No, he was a different day.

Michael Twomey: 50:51

Wednesday, I don't remember. I feel like he was a Wednesday. But I liked the Friday birth was great because then we had like just a nice.

Rebecca Twomey: 50:58

Yeah, a nice long weekend.

Michael Twomey: 51:00

Yeah, it was perfect. Perfect, so convenient.

Rebecca Twomey: 51:04

Born on her guest date before five o'clock on a Friday. What a perfect child, she really.

Michael Twomey: 51:11

Perfect From birth.

Rebecca Twomey: 51:13

The perfect one. She's a very accommodating baby and no, but she's turned out to be such a sweetie pie, she's such a good baby. She's just very happy and, yeah, we're very blessed.

Michael Twomey: 51:27

She's very sweet. Now, I would say the first like month or two. She's a little bit of a grumpy kins, I would say.

Rebecca Twomey: 51:35

Say everyone but me.

Michael Twomey: 51:36

Really only wanted Rebecca.

Rebecca Twomey: 51:39

She was inside my body.

Michael Twomey: 51:40

And I didn't feel bad because she even cried at Nana and I knew if Nana couldn't settle this baby I shouldn't even bother trying. It had to be mommy.

Rebecca Twomey: 51:50

Yeah, as the father don't even bother.

Michael Twomey: 51:53

But then once she got to like five or six months she started getting more chill. And then I was in New York for like a week or two and when I got back now she is just like the sweetest little munchkin, happy baby. Only time she's crying is like if she's hungry, tired, needs a diaper change and that's it.

Rebecca Twomey: 52:15

So like now she's getting good, she's getting good she's winning me over now, I would say that she's been a good baby from the beginning, but that because she was good to you honey. She is.

Michael Twomey: 52:28

It's nice to be the mom.

Rebecca Twomey: 52:29

She's different. I mean I nurse her. So there's that that makes it a lot easier to pacify.

Michael Twomey: 52:35

Yes.

Rebecca Twomey: 52:36

A baby that doesn't take a pacifier or a bottle or anything else, because, like, she won't take any of that and she's exclusively breastfed. All of them have been, but some of them took it. Like Brooke took a bottle for you One of the feedings at night when she was a newborn, but then once we dropped that, she never did again. She was like no, I'm not doing this. So that's the story Morning. Yeah, good job, guys, you did great, thank you. Anything that we missed that you think we should mention before we wrap up for today.

Rebecca Twomey: 53:16

I mean, I'm a father dressed in white, mother bites the core. You actually did do the court a little different this time.

Michael Twomey: 53:28

We did a high yeah, there was like a cute time.

Rebecca Twomey: 53:31

A tie because Bernie was a rainbow baby. So we had a nice, very sweet friend Heather made crocheted a heart or a rainbow cord tie. So use a piece of string on one side and a cord tie on the other. And then Mike used the razor blade to cut the umbilical cord. But I will say I'll probably, if we ever, if we have more kids, probably just use just string because it works just fine. Yeah, Pro tip out there. But this has been fun to share the story of Miss Brinny. Thanks for joining, Mike.

Michael Twomey: 54:08

Happy to do it. Thanks for having me, guys.

Rebecca Twomey: 54:10

Thanks everyone who is participating in this right now and thank you everyone who's listening. We hope that this has been a fun one to listen to. Thanks for tuning in and if you'd like to follow along outside the podcast, join the mission on Instagram or Facebook with the handle the radio mission, or you can watch our podcast in video format on YouTube. And we are going to be closing with Philippians four, verse 13. I can do all things through him who gives me strength. We are wishing you a radiant week and we'll see you next time. Bye, bye.

Michael Twomey: 54:48

Bye guys.