82. A First Time Mom's Wild Pregnancy & Free Birth Story

Sophia's heartwarming journey from a young Texan dreaming of midwifery to embracing the raw, elemental beauty of a home birth is a tale that both mothers and mothers-to-be will find gripping. As she shares her story on The Radiant Mission podcast, you'll be captivated by her transformation into a steadfast advocate for natural childbirth, making a profound statement about the power of faith and intuition in the face of modern medical convention. Her story is a testament to the strength found in choosing the path less traveled, and her candid insights offer an intimate look at the decisions that led her and her husband to welcome their first child in the sanctity of their own home.

Venture with us into the world where preparation for birth transcends the physical, as Sophia discusses the mental and spiritual readiness that fortified her and her husband for their journey. They found solace in their shared beliefs and the natural rhythms of life, bypassing ultrasounds in favor of a profound connection with the birthing process. Sophia's narrative is a reminder that embracing the Holy Spirit's guidance can lead to a fulfilling experience, even amidst challenges. Her holistic approach, underscored by the support of her partner, serves as an inspiration for those considering the path of home birth and highlights the importance of aligning one's childbirth choices with personal values.

The episode culminates with the dramatic retelling of Sophia's labor, a story that underscores the unpredictable nature of childbirth and the resilience required to navigate its twists and turns. From the elation of early labor signs to the unforeseen hurdles of delivering the placenta., Sophia's experience illuminates the full spectrum of emotions that accompany the miracle of birth. Her tale concludes with an empowering reflection on Matthew 5:14-16, drawing a parallel between her own journey and the Biblical call to shine our light brightly. This episode is not just a conversation about childbirth, but a broader message about living with purpose and faith, and the impact it can have on the world around us.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

you, Hello and welcome to the Radiant Mission podcast. My name is Rebecca Tumme and we are on a mission to encourage and inspire you as you're navigating through this life and with your relationship with Christ, and we're currently in a series called God's Design for Birth. And today we have an amazing guest here to share her story on the wild pregnancy and free birth of her first child. That's right, you heard that her first child she free birthed and had a wild pregnancy. You just heard two episodes ago about wild pregnancy for my third and I just think it is so amazing and beautiful that Sophia did this for her first. So she is a wife, a mother and a homemaker. Her name is Sophia and thank you so much for joining me tonight.

Speaker 2: 1:23

Thank you for having me. I'm really excited.

Speaker 1: 1:25

Awesome. If you want to find Sophia after this, you can find her on Instagram at Foster's Homestead. So we're just going to start off. This is an easy breezy conversation. We want to learn from Sophia about her experience, but I really would love to hear more about you. Where are you from and what was your experience with birth prior to becoming pregnant that inspired you to have a wild pregnancy? First of all, Sure.

Speaker 2: 1:56

So I grew up in Texas that's where I'm from, born and raised, not too far from where we live now me and my husband and growing up I always wanted to be a midwife, but I didn't really know what that meant. Being so young I was like, oh, I just want to help women have babies. I remember watching can't remember the name of the shows like the Love Come Softly series. I remember watching those growing up and seeing all the women having babies and it really excited me. I was like, yes, that's what I want to do. So going through high school and trying to figure out during college what I wanted to do, I decided to go into nursing or try to pursue that. So that's what my pre-college degree was in. And then I tried to go into get into a nursing school. I didn't make it. In Looking back on it now, I'm glad that I didn't, because I wanted to do labor and delivery nurses what I wanted.

Speaker 2: 3:06

So I didn't make it in and then I decided to go for the more holistic route. My second option was a midwife. So I joined a midwifery. It was actually an online school here in Texas, so it wasn't like an actual foundational school, so it's mostly online and then, of course, you would go in and do your testing and practicing and all of that in person. So I joined that.

Speaker 2: 3:40

I was about to get married at that point, so just a few months before me and my husband got married. So we were engaged and I just really felt like I wanted to be a mom and a homemaker and going through college and school because it would be three years, at least three years. So just trying to work through that in my mind if that's what I really wanted to do, I ended up dropping out and then just stayed home and after I got married, just was a homemaker and moved around with my husband. But that's kind of like, I guess, my journey with birth and how I grew up and what I wanted to do and finding out that's not really what I wanted to do.

Speaker 1: 4:29

That's interesting.

Speaker 2: 4:31

So I guess I should talk a little bit about my family's view on birth. Maybe that would help. Sure, yeah, so my mom had she has three children that she birthed and they were all in hospitals. So growing up, I never, I always. It's kind of weird, Like I knew that I wanted to have a home birth but nobody in my family had had a home birth.

Speaker 2: 4:58

So I don't know exactly where that came from. But the Lord, yeah right, so yeah. And then my husband's family also had all the babies in the hospital, so it was going to be the first when I did end up getting pregnant.

Speaker 1: 5:14

It was going to be the first home birth in the family that we knew of, so yeah, that's really interesting that you pursued home birth after not really being a part of your family. And also, this is, this was your first baby, and a lot of women are very afraid of pursuing home birth the first time around, or some women might be pursuing it because of people that they know or people that are around them, but it sounds like you just had an all around interest and kind of passion for birth even before giving birth. So that's, that's really unique. That's cool. So did were there things about the medical system that you felt like dream to home birth? Because I'm I'm assuming when you came close to getting pregnant or got pregnant, that's when you had to start making these decisions. So did you have any negative experiences with the medical system or how? How did you come to the conclusion that this was what was best?

Speaker 2: 6:23

Sure, I wouldn't say I had any negative experiences in the hospital. I mean we rarely went to doctors visits. We did have like the routine wellness visits every couple of years growing up, but didn't have any bad experiences that like drew me away from it. But getting pregnant and then, of course, having to make those decisions, I was listening to podcasts of other women's stories and first thing in the hospitals and just realizing like everything that they routinely do is just messing with your hormones and how it's supposed to naturally happen, and so just hearing like all the interventions that happen and like what's normal, I was like well, that's not what I want. So that was a big factor Also, like, especially in births, like that's when you need space and calm and people not watching you.

Speaker 2: 7:26

And I'm already like a person that doesn't like people watching me, so just a thought of that.

Speaker 1: 7:31

I was like no, no no, no, thank you, totally no, thank you. Do you don't watch me doing this? This is a. It's a very private thing giving birth and being vulnerable in those moments I totally understand where you're coming from. From that perspective, you probably heard on some episodes I'm like a cat. I just want to retreat into my closet and nobody, just be alone. And, you know, go through that experience. So that's cool. What about the wild pregnancy side of things? When did you make the decision that you were going to go that route and not get ultrasounds? And you know well, I mean, some people get ultrasounds during a wild pregnancy. I'm not sure if you did. I guess I should ask that first I didn't None, no ultrasounds, none, good for you. And so you didn't know the gender going into the birth either, or you did.

Speaker 2: 8:28

I guess the only interaction we had with like the medical system was, I got a blood test at like a random lab and Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1: 8:39

Okay, okay, cool. And no, whatever it's called, orange drink, glucose drink, none of that nonsense either.

Speaker 2: 8:50

No, no tests, other than wanting to find out that she was a girl. Next time we'll probably wait.

Speaker 1: 8:56

Yeah, yeah. How did you feel going through your pregnancy without going to the doctor 500 times?

Speaker 2: 9:06

Honestly a peace of mind Like I felt. Great Obviously you have like the aches and pains and the late, the late stages, and like your pelvis is moving and making way. So there's some pains there and actually early on.

Speaker 2: 9:21

I did have some bleeding and clotting, like a couple days after I found that, maybe a week after I found out that I was pregnant. So that worried me a little bit. But I thought myself and think like well, what are they going to do If I go in? How are they going to help me? Well, they'll probably give me an ultrasound, which I don't want, and I've heard of someone saying that they can give you hormones like just in case.

Speaker 1: 9:50

Like a gestron.

Speaker 2: 9:52

Yeah, I didn't think of that at the time, but I was just going through it and I don't want an ultrasound and they're just going to tell me to go home and rest and just watch it. So I just put myself on bed rest and it only lasted probably a day and a half and there was no cramping, so I was.

Speaker 1: 10:13

Look at that, Trusting your intuition, just following what the Lord has given you to get through those moments. Because it can be very scary when you have bleeding early on If we don't really understand that. That's just a normal process of our bodies, right? I remember having some bleeding early on in my first pregnancy and wondering if I should worry about it, and I texted my sister. She'd already had two kids by that point. She's like that's normal and. But that's our minds, right. Our minds can go crazy and be like, oh my gosh, what's going on? Am I losing the baby? Something worse happening here? But this is such a test of faith to say you know what, Lord, no matter what's happening to me, what intervention is going to quote, save me right. Just I have to allow my body to go through what it's going through. So how did things go once you started to get closer to your labor time? Or I guess I should ask did you do anything to prepare anything mentally, physically, spiritually?

Speaker 2: 11:22

Yeah, so mentally I was listening to a lot of podcasts like 24 seven all day when my husband was gone at work, that's all I was doing was sleeping, taking nap and listening to like free birth stories. I can totally do this, that's awesome. Positive mindset and like knowing that other women do this, like go to their room and they have their baby and then they're done.

Speaker 1: 11:49

Do you have any favorite podcasts that you'd like to recommend?

Speaker 2: 11:57

I can't remember the one that Audrey goes on. She's other than yours. She's done a few others that I really loved, just a reminder Audrey was on a couple of weeks ago.

Speaker 1: 12:10

Definitely go listen back. If you're listening now and you haven't heard her episodes, she is fantastic, so definitely go back and listen to hers.

Speaker 2: 12:20

And then I did listen to the free birth society podcast a lot. I know they're not Christian based.

Speaker 1: 12:27

We can learn about birth from anywhere, right, right.

Speaker 2: 12:33

So yeah, I really like all the women's.

Speaker 1: 12:37

Okay, so you listen to birth broadcasts. What else?

Speaker 2: 12:40

I really tried to focus on nutrition. Looking back, I could have done a lot better of a job, but try to focus on nutrition eating enough, drinking enough, staying. I didn't exercise like workouts, more of like a lot of walking and hiking.

Speaker 2: 13:04

The first half of my pregnancy lived up in Oregon, so there was a lot of beautiful trails and hikes to be on, trying to be outside a lot and then like spiritually, just praying with my husband and I just had this innate, like from the Holy Spirit, like I know, like I know the Lord made me to do this, like there is no reason we could worry. So just praying with my husband and if any fears did come up that I was worried about or irrational things that my mind made up, like what happened, just talking over with my husband Like this is something that I'm worried about. I know it's probably silly Some of my fears weren't silly, like it's normal to have fears Just talking through it with him and going over like well, is there anything that we would do differently? Do we want to change our minds? And the answer was always no.

Speaker 1: 14:07

That's awesome. Tell me a little bit about your husband and all of this Did he? Was he totally on board the whole time, or were there periods where you kind of had to have conversations with him about home birth? Or tell me about how he felt through this experience.

Speaker 2: 14:26

It wasn't expected, like. I mean, he's a very loving, open husband but, like his mom having hospital births, I would have assumed that he would have, like, had some fear about that, about having home birth. There was nobody else, but he was on board right from the get go. I can't say why I was in the Lord just giving peace.

Speaker 2: 14:48

But yeah, I, we did, I guess, like kind of backtrack. We went to one midwife appointment because they didn't do anything though, so it was like a consultation. So I got pregnant. It was probably a week later. I was like, oh well, I need to find some, find a midwife, because at that point I hadn't decided that I wanted wanted to have the baby by myself, so I was looking around. We were up in Oregon at the time, which is just known for having so many midwives, so many.

Speaker 2: 15:24

So I started looking around, just Googled one, picked one that sounded good. I was like sure that sounds natural and holistic, so I'll just go with them. And they did a free consultation, so decided well, if we don't like them.

Speaker 2: 15:41

We didn't waste any money. So let's just go see, check it out and see how we feel and have an interview with one of the midwives. So we show up and we go back into one of the rooms and just sit down and the midwife just had a conversation, just asking us like well, if you have any questions about what we do, just go ahead and ask away. It was the midwife was very like not conversational. She just kind of sat there and stared at us until we asked a question. It was like a little weird.

Speaker 1: 16:20

Yeah, that's awkward.

Speaker 2: 16:22

Yeah. So I asked about ultrasound because I didn't want any ultrasound. I asked about the Doppler use because I didn't want to use that either, but she told me like no, we have to. We just need to get in there and get a quick peek, make sure your baby's alive. What?

Speaker 1: 16:43

Yeah, okay, lovely With the ultrasound or the Doppler, or both the Doppler like okay, she just had to hear that heartbeat, didn't believe that that baby was there. Okay.

Speaker 2: 17:01

She told me that I was like okay, and then they had like a fetus go pinging up on the side of the wall. I was like, well, can you use that? Like I know that that's just like a stethoscope. And she's like, well, yeah, we can, but we just need to get in there, get a quick peek, go to be super fast, make sure that there's a heartbeat. And then during your labor because I asked about during labor if they could use the fetus gop- and she was like what's that she's like?

Speaker 2: 17:30

no, like we really need to use the Doppler.

Speaker 1: 17:34

And you're like I'm outta here. I see a lady. So there's just like red flags coming up, and there's some other things that I can't remember right now but, it sounds like you were asking her the questions that you needed to know about interventions and she was not passing that test.

Speaker 2: 17:54

Right. So we leave the office and I just felt like pressure to join them, to be under their care, like well, I need to med-wide. So I guess we'll just go with it, just totally ignoring those red flags.

Speaker 1: 18:13

It's hard in the moment. It's hard to know. You just feel a lot of pressure.

Speaker 2: 18:17

So we go up to the front desk and I try to start making an appointment and booking care with them and my husband's trying to get us out of it. He knew. Right, so we get out to the car.

Speaker 2: 18:33

We didn't book the appointment. Some things didn't line up. So we're like, ok, we'll just call you back. So we go out to the car and I'm like what'd you think? And he's like, no, no, you don't want that. You told me all the things that you don't want. She was not on board with not using it. Don't go back on what you said you want. We're not going to find someone else. I was like, ok, but he really held firm to what I had told him that I wanted when I was feeling pressure to do something. That's awesome.

Speaker 1: 19:13

Go, hubby. I love that. That's the beautiful thing about husband and wife and that partnership is our husbands can be there to remind us of just our own convictions sometimes, because it can be hard in the moment when we feel pressure. So that's fantastic that you got out and he reminded you. Hey, you don't want these things, let's go our own path. Awesome. So did you go to any more midwives after that? Or that was the moment when you were like, nah, this is it.

Speaker 2: 19:44

That was it I kept saying to friends and family yeah, I'm looking for one and I just I never did.

Speaker 1: 19:55

You just were looking for one, and then you were in your labor time and all that. So tell us more about that experience that you got through this, or I don't want to skip over anything that was important. First, though, was there anything else significant from your pregnancy that you want to mention before we get into what it was like to get to the end of your pregnancy and then go into labor?

Speaker 2: 20:20

I had some morning sickness, ok, going into being pregnant. Like the first six weeks I felt great, and then, once the six week to seven week hit up until 15 weeks, I was just on the couch Shit.

Speaker 1: 20:34

That's when it gets you OK. Did you take any supplements or do anything to help with that, or did you find anything that helped, or you just toughed it out?

Speaker 2: 20:47

Yeah, basically toughed it out, just rested I mean I couldn't even stand up for very long because I just felt so sick Tried the ginger, tried the magnesium, because I heard people say, oh, you're magnesium deficient if you have morning sickness. I don't know about that.

Speaker 1: 21:05

But I know they say a lot of things.

Speaker 2: 21:10

But nothing. Nothing works, just time.

Speaker 1: 21:13

Just time. Yeah, until about 15 weeks. I feel that a lot. I experienced morning sickness myself In my second pregnancy. I was throwing up All day every 15 seconds. It was really bad. I did end up taking beef liver, high doses of beef liver and B6 as a supplement and that did help me. So interestingly, I think it was something some of the vitamins and minerals perhaps that were in there. Maybe it was magnesium. No, it wasn't because I didn't take magnesium, but there's other things out there. I've actually recently heard that acupuncture can help with morning sickness and I'm interested in that. If I have another, I will try it and report back. We'll see. So you got through the morning sickness and then did you experience that period of time kind of end of second trimester, beginning of third trimester where you just feel fantastic and great?

Speaker 2: 22:17

Yeah, At that point, once I started regaining my strength and got up off the couch, started going on bikes again and I just felt great and honestly, I felt great. The rest of the pregnancy, Of course you had the aches and pains at the end, but, yeah, the middle chunk of your pregnancy towards a little bit before the end, I felt great. I was energetic and doing all the things. And my mom I was going on walks down the road from their house and she was like where are you going? You're pregnant. You can't do that. Get a baby.

Speaker 1: 22:58

Get a baby. So how did you feel in the last weeks and when? So I guess I should ask this another way Did you calculate your guest date prior to going to the midwife, or did the midwife kind of give you a guest date? How did you determine when about baby would come, or did you just kind of have a general timeline?

Speaker 2: 23:23

Sure, so I did the. We never did natural family planning, so to say, but I was tracking my temperatures in my period so I knew when my period last was. I knew the end date, so I was able to do a 40 week from there, but I was expecting to go to like 43 weeks. Just mentally prepared, good.

Speaker 1: 23:51

That's the smart way to do it. Yeah, and so when you got close to, let's say, 38, 39 weeks, how did you feel?

Speaker 2: 24:04

Sure, I think at 38 weeks it hit me like, oh, she's going to come like tomorrow.

Speaker 1: 24:10

Like.

Speaker 2: 24:10

I was just waiting for even though I know that's silly, but she ended up coming at 39 weeks and 30 days.

Speaker 1: 24:20

Wow, awesome yeah. So, that was kind of unexpected. Ok, and tell us the story. How did things progress? Did you experience free contractions? I know the medical system likes to call it prodrominal labor or Braxton Hicks, but it's really just all labor in my opinion, because it's just the beginning of it, for weeks before it comes.

Speaker 2: 24:44

So I had and I didn't know this until I was talking with another woman a few weeks ago. I thought like, so I guess I was having Braxton Hicks, but I thought it was just her like pushing her little butt up against my belly or like her back because it would just get tight, and I'm like, oh, like she's moving around in there. But looking back, it was.

Speaker 1: 25:09

Yeah, early tightening, so your uterus was getting ready it wasn't painful at all. Just crampy feeling right Kind of feels like kind of heavy.

Speaker 2: 25:18

It just felt really tight Go ahead, right, it just felt like really tight.

Speaker 1: 25:23

Yeah, like tightening.

Speaker 2: 25:25

OK. So yeah, that was the only like physical sign or anything that I noticed, but I didn't note it like oh, labor can be soon, because I didn't think it was contractions or anything. So then 39 weeks and four days was November 1st, so that it would still be November 1st. But like at 3 AM in the morning I woke up and it had some like it was like period cramps Just in the back of my lower back, just like a strip just right there. I was like well, that's kind of weird.

Speaker 2: 26:12

So probably had like two or three, two times that I woke up in the night from it to go to the bathroom and then maybe one time I woke up because like it was not bothering me, but I noticed it. Morning came and we woke up at 10 or 11. I was still having the cramping. It was probably. I didn't time anything, but just looking back, it was probably 15 minutes apart the cramps. So I was noticing them at this point went and took a bath and I told my husband I had no idea, like I had no idea she was coming, but I was like we might have a baby today. Like I think she's coming. I didn't know, I was just like talking, oh, maybe you did, though you had a feeling.

Speaker 1: 27:03

You had a feeling in there.

Speaker 2: 27:05

So, yeah, then got out of the bath and we needed some food and some supplies, like in preparation for her coming. So I went to the store and they started getting a little bit more close together and they weren't getting stronger at this point, just closer together. So just walking around the store, I didn't need to breeze through them or anything. I would like pause for a second. I think I leaned on my husband at one point, but they weren't painful. So I walked around the store, went back in the car and then just around the corner a quilting shop had opened so we wanted to go in there. So I walked in there and it was like their grand opening day. So the owner wanted to show me around and at that point it had started getting a little bit intense. So she was like talking to me and I'm like, lady, I'm not listening to you. So I was like just looking at her and she probably thought I was like a weirdo.

Speaker 2: 28:02

So I was just like staring at her like just like okay, like I'm noticing this more, it's getting a little bit stronger. So then I told my husband okay, we got to go home, we got to get out of here. I was like my birth bubble appeared and I'm like I don't want anybody, like I don't want to see anybody. So I went home just around the corner and we went in the backyard with our chickens sat in the grass and at that point they started getting not closer together but stronger. At this point. So it's like my husband, yeah, more intense, waiting on my husband. And then eventually I was like okay, like I want to go lay down. So we go into the house and I tried a couple of places. First, I think I tried like on our couch, like right here somewhere, just kind of squatting, and that did not feel good whatsoever, like it just made it more intense.

Speaker 1: 29:05

I was like I'm going to take this Now going into this, did you have anything in your mind of where you wanted to labor in your home, or you were just like whatever happens happens.

Speaker 2: 29:16

Right. I basically was like well, I don't know what I'm going to want or where I'm going to end up, so whatever happens I'm fine. But I kind of like figured it would happen in the bedroom. It ended up happening in the bedroom. I kind of prepped that space like the main space, just in case.

Speaker 1: 29:33

Okay, did you guys put like plastic down and all that kind of stuff?

Speaker 2: 29:38

Yeah, we were going to put like a shower curtain under, but we just got a bed cover. Okay, a bed cover.

Speaker 1: 29:46

Yeah, like the waterproof mattress cover things. So we got one of those.

Speaker 2: 29:51

Did it work? It saved the mattress, but this sheath and everything were ruined. So we got to do it as a way. Yeah, I would add more next time for sure. So I tried to couch. I went into the shower a few times. I had to use the bathroom, maybe two or three times because, like she was moving down and things were clearing out making space for her, so I wanted some space for my husband. Just give me a few minutes, please.

Speaker 1: 30:25

Yeah, how did it feel when you were sitting on the toilet? Did it make things more intense? Did you feel like it made her come down more?

Speaker 2: 30:36

So I could never like feel her Like. I always imagined that I would feel her like moving down, but I don't think I could say that Like I felt her moving down at all.

Speaker 1: 30:47

Okay.

Speaker 2: 30:48

But the contractions were definitely more intense. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:52

They say dilation station, so it always was very intense for me sitting on the toilet. That's why I ask because it intensifies. But I agree with you, it's not necessarily that I could feel anything significant happening, but I trust that something significant is happening because of how intense it gets.

Speaker 2: 31:11

Right yeah.

Speaker 1: 31:12

Yeah. So, shall we go?

Speaker 2: 31:15

Sure, I think I just like flip flopped from like the couch to the bathroom and then after a few hours and I got a little bit more intense moves to the bedroom and our mattresses on the floor at the time and tried to take a nap. At that point I could lay down, okay. After that point I could not lay down, okay. So I tried to lay down. I was laying on my side because I couldn't lay on my back. That was really uncomfortable. So lay on my side at that point and tried to sleep. I couldn't sleep at that point. They were too noticeable. So when one would start, I would hold my husband's hand and breathe through it and then, once it went away, just tried to relax and my husband was napping Very black.

Speaker 1: 32:07

But leave it to a husband to nap through all this right.

Speaker 2: 32:12

I'm glad he did. It wasn't like I needed him at that point. Sure yeah.

Speaker 1: 32:18

And it's good for him to get his rest, his final rest before becoming a dad.

Speaker 2: 32:23

Right. So it probably laid there a good hour or two and then, like once it started really ramping up, I couldn't lay down anymore. So just kind of like moved in and out of the living room to the bathroom, took a shower, back to the bed. Like every 30 minutes I would like move spots. And yeah, I just kept getting more intense and my husband kept telling me, like all you were saying was I just want to take a nap. I just want to take a nap, which I really wanted to take a nap.

Speaker 1: 33:05

It's interesting. I think there's something about the labor experience that it does make you feel very tired and exhausted, and so your body was probably that's what you were feeling, but really it was just it was trying to work through the process Right, and it did.

Speaker 2: 33:26

More and more intense. I started like vocalizing, like low moans I don't think I ever like high pitched screamed until, like, she came out. Okay, yeah, so yeah. And then I remember getting into the shower for one last time and at that point my body started to like push on its own. Just one time, just one push. And then I had some blood come out, and at that point my water hadn't broken or anything. There was no discharge or blood or anything that had come out up into that point. So at that point I was like, oh, something's happening, we're having a baby. It was fake up until then.

Speaker 1: 34:17

Yeah, yeah. And then the baby's coming out and you're like, oh, baby's coming.

Speaker 2: 34:22

Because I was on hands and knees and that was really uncomfortable. Our bathtub is very narrow, so I didn't have a baby.

Speaker 1: 34:30

Yes, yeah, it doesn't feel good to be on tile either like that for a long time.

Speaker 2: 34:34

Right, so got out of there pretty quick and went to the bed, and that's where I stayed until she was born.

Speaker 1: 34:42

And did you deliver her laying down, or were you upright, or yeah, I was on hands and knees and then my husband was behind me. And was that the plan? Did you plan to catch baby yourself or for him to catch her, just kind of like whatever happened?

Speaker 2: 35:02

I was open to it, like I would always watch birth videos as a husband catching it. I'm like, well, why can't the mom catch the baby? Like I don't want to catch the baby, but at the time I was like I do not care, like I was just trying to hold myself up. At that point I'm like you, I don't care, you can catch it.

Speaker 1: 35:21

I'm using all of my strength right now. Help me out here.

Speaker 2: 35:26

And I didn't say anything. It was just like we both knew, like you're just going to catch her, like I didn't say, please, yeah.

Speaker 1: 35:34

He just knew. That's awesome. And how do you feel? How was that moment? How did you feel the moment that she came out of your body and was born? That must have been so amazing.

Speaker 2: 35:49

Right. So I had like the fetal ejection reflex, but I never, like consciously, was like, oh, I'm going to push. Like it just happened. It was like throwing up out of both ends and I was like no. So during that I had like a bowl in front of me. I never threw up. I hate throwing up, so I was so glad about that. But every contraction that came out was like about to throw up.

Speaker 2: 36:18

And then she was born. But yeah, she came out and my husband like kind of caught her but just kind of guided her down to the bed. There was maybe like a foot and we weren't far from the bed, so he just guided her down and she screamed right away and that was kind of what like snapped me out of like the labor land. I was just like focusing but I hear her screaming. I'm like, oh my gosh, there's a baby. Like turn over. And he just left her there for me to pick up. He didn't hand her to me or anything. So I picked her up and she was pink and tinier than I expected, because my husband's family are like 9, 10, 11 pound babies.

Speaker 2: 37:08

I was 9 pounds, my brother was 10 pounds. I was like oh, boy.

Speaker 1: 37:14

How much did she weigh in the end?

Speaker 2: 37:16

7 pounds 4 ounces.

Speaker 1: 37:19

Nice. Oh, good yeah, very healthy weight. Did you weigh her at home or did you wait until after?

Speaker 2: 37:30

We, I had sewn like I think they caught like a midwife's sling or something Like with the two, yeah, and then like a luggage scale.

Speaker 1: 37:40

Yeah, fish scale, luggage scale, Perfect. That's what we do too.

Speaker 2: 37:44

Yep, so my husband weighed her probably an hour after. Ok.

Speaker 1: 37:52

Yeah, but what about your placenta? Did it come out quickly? Was it a little while later?

Speaker 2: 37:59

So she was born and it was. I guess I should back up a little bit, because she was born and we immediately turned on all the lights, moved to me to the bathroom, called family before the placenta was out. Ok, so I wouldn't do that again.

Speaker 1: 38:23

Because then you're like hold on, I've got to go deliver this placenta Right.

Speaker 2: 38:29

So going from like because our room was like pitch black. So I was really like focused and calm and just holding her and I don't blame my husband Like I was asking for all of the things that he was doing. I was like, let's turn on my time, let's clean up. And I was just like I don't know, adrenaline started kicking and I was just rushing through everything and at that point I probably needed somebody to be there to be like no, just sit there, wait till the placenta comes out, and then we can clean up.

Speaker 2: 39:03

So we moved into the bathroom called family hang up. She had started nursing at that point in the bathtub and I was like, oh, the placenta's not out yet. I had heard stories of women where the placenta just flew right out, and then others where they had to really work to get it out. So like well, it's not out yet. And I was still having contractions, probably 10 minutes apart. They were really strong. They weren't as strong as labor contractions but they were pretty painful and I was like huh, that's kind of weird, like why is it still happening?

Speaker 2: 39:51

And now, looking back, it was my body trying to get the placenta out. So I tried to. She was still attached. We wanted to wait until the there was a white. I even wanted to wait like maybe until the next day, until I cut the cord. But it was just too uncomfortable with me having those contractions and having to hold her and trying to get the placenta out that an hour or two after we ended up cutting the cord. That way my husband could hold her and I could like get my bearings and kind of try and get the placenta out on my own. So my husband took her, was holding her at that point, as when he went and weighed her and measured her and did all the things and I didn't know, I didn't do much research on placenta, like third stage of labor, so in that aspect I don't think I was as knowledgeable as I could have been to manage it Not that it needs managed, but sometimes it needs a little bit extra work.

Speaker 2: 41:01

So, yeah, it wasn't coming out and I was a little worried. But I had heard stories of women taking like, oh, it didn't come out to the next day, like not that, I'm recommending that you should get it out as soon as you can. But I wasn't too, too worried. We didn't have anybody scheduled to come over like to help with cleanup, like my parents, but it was like an in-the-moment decision. I was like, okay, I think I want my mom to come over.

Speaker 2: 41:30

So she came over and held the baby and then me and my husband went to the bathroom to try and just kind of get away and see if the placenta would come out. And I was pulling on it and there was no pain. So I knew it had detached and there was bleeding, like right after birth. So I knew it had detached. Okay, that's good. Yeah, so it's pulling on it a little bit and it just felt like something was holding it back, like I know it's right there, but it's not coming out. So I was so tired. So I was like you know what, let's just go to bed with the placenta still inside me.

Speaker 1: 42:12

You were ready for that nap.

Speaker 2: 42:16

So we go to bed, get tucked in and I just had like like birth wasn't over yet, birth isn't over until the placenta is delivered, and I just had like this dread of like something is not complete and I can't go to bed and rest when I know there's still something to do. So we didn't go to bed. I did sleep because I was so tired. We wake up the next morning and I go back into the bathroom try and get it out. My mom had come over again to bring us food and help us any other cleanups that we needed, and it just wasn't coming out and I was like, well, that's not good. So I called Audrey from a joyful birth, called her and she just gave me some great advice Try pulling on the cord, try coughing, squatting, sitting on the toilet, being by yourself in a dark room, yeah. So I tried all of that, but it just it had been too long, so the cord was like disintegrating.

Speaker 1: 43:17

I guess it was just like kind of shriveling right, Right.

Speaker 2: 43:22

Yeah, so when I was pulling on it and ended up coming off, the cord came out from the cord was breaking.

Speaker 2: 43:32

Right. So at that point I was like, okay, that's not good, now I don't have anything to get it out with. So I let Audrey know the cord broke and so she recommended well, if your husband wants to, either you or your husband can reach up and see if he could feel anything. So we tried that and that was. He was so gentle, he didn't want to hurt me at all, but it was just painful. So I was like, no, let's not do that.

Speaker 2: 44:04

So we made the decision to go to the hospital because, I mean, there was no way I was going to have someone just grab it out with no pain meds. So we got to the hospital and I was really bummed. I was like, oh, I just had this great free birth and all my plans and I'm just going to bed as my baby, and now it's like, oh, I have to go to the hospital. So get to the hospital. I don't know how much detail you want me to say, but I ended up having a DNC they gave me. It wasn't an epidural, but it was like a shot in your back that numbed you from the waist down. And I don't know for sure. This is what the doctors claim, but they said, as soon as they gave me, like all the medications, that my body had relaxed and my cervix opened and the placenta just fell right out. Interesting, so I don't know for sure, but that's okay.

Speaker 1: 45:05

Interesting. So it's almost like maybe in the excitement of everything, your body just wasn't relaxing enough to open up and kind of let it out. Yeah, that's interesting.

Speaker 1: 45:22

You know, I've always wondered too how quickly the cervix closes all the way after birth, because I know that it can open very quickly. So I'd imagine it could close and open quickly again. If you think about it, a woman could go from a two to a 10 in minutes, and I would imagine that the cervix could then close back up again pretty quickly. And if it's closed that would make it hard for the placenta to come out. So maybe that theory is kind of true that once you relaxed your cervix opened and allowed it to come back out. Maybe that was the issue. Just a guess.

Speaker 2: 45:58

That's what I was thinking. So, looking back, when we turned all the lights on and when we moved me and when we called off family, adrenaline and excitement, I think, just caused my body to just like.

Speaker 1: 46:12

Like I'm done now.

Speaker 2: 46:13

I'm done with this.

Speaker 1: 46:15

And you were all the way done, but your body started to act like it was. Oh, that's interesting. It's a good observation and a good learning moment.

Speaker 2: 46:24

Right, yep, so yeah, had DNC came right out, I took the placenta home. It's still in my freezer. We stayed overnight into the next day at the hospital. That was just their policy to monitor us. Could have left at any time.

Speaker 1: 46:47

What were we just? How were they? They were cool about everything. Did they get you on time? How was your experience?

Speaker 2: 46:54

Sure.

Speaker 2: 46:55

I had two nurses that were super amazing, that were super sweet, but the doctor that performed the DNC was she was a woman but she is, so she had to like assess me before they did like a surgery and decided what to do. So she came in, didn't say hello, just like walked right by me. I had another nurse there doing her thing, whatever she was doing. And so the doctor just starts reading all of them Like well, you could die and this could happen and sign here. Lovely to meet you too, wow so heartwarming yeah.

Speaker 2: 47:39

And then she gave me a cervical exam which I had never, had ever never been to the gynecologist. Of course, never had it during labor or in pregnancy. Yeah, she was really rough, it hurt. So yeah, I never, never doing that again, and for sure not doing that in labor or birth.

Speaker 1: 48:02

Yeah, it's intense, and isn't it crazy to think that girls go starting at 15, 16?

Speaker 2: 48:10

every year.

Speaker 1: 48:11

Doing that for years and years until childbearing years, and then it's even more intense.

Speaker 2: 48:17

So, yeah, she was really rough and just like passive and I think she was a little upset that because they had, they asked me all the questions like, well, who's your OB? Who's your? Oh, I don't have an OB. Well, who's your midwife? I don't have midwife. Oh, you had the baby at home by yourself. Yeah, oh, okay, that's kind of weird. Did she say that? I didn't say that's weird, but they were just like shocked and like oh, and then I felt like like their energy or like the vibe in the room was like like I did something wrong.

Speaker 1: 48:55

Yeah, yeah, I was uncomfortable.

Speaker 2: 48:57

They have. Yeah, we went home and after that was done, like I felt so, like I was like okay, everything's complete, I can relax now, I can sleep with my baby. So that was the best feeling. I just wish it had been a little bit different, but it's a great learning moment. And then going forward with her next baby, I definitely know what to do and what not to do.

Speaker 1: 49:27

Totally. Yeah, that's great. That's great that you you had that experience, though. You went through it and you learned from it and you said you know what? This is an area where I can look forward to in the future in a positive way, because I know how to handle this. So good for you. That's awesome. And, man, there's so many places where I really just see the Lord's hand in your story, because he prevented so many interventions from happening along the way. And you know, I don't know if you felt his presence during all of this, but I hear it in your story in many different ways. Sorry, she's so sweet. I should have announced her at the beginning. That little girl is with us on the episode Hadassah, what's that?

Speaker 2: 50:15

Hadassah is her name Hadassah. So yeah, so Esther's Jewish name before she was Esther.

Speaker 1: 50:22

Oh, beautiful, I love that. Yeah, a lot of people have Did you have the name picked out beforehand or you chose after.

Speaker 2: 50:30

So I had always liked the name and then I brought it up to my husband, I think when we first got married, like oh, some baby names. Yeah, I brought it up to him and he really liked the name. And then I kind of questioned it because I mentioned it to my family and they were like Hadassah, are you sure you want to name her? That? I'm like, well, maybe not anymore.

Speaker 1: 50:56

People are so interesting when it comes to baby names. They always have an opinion. It wouldn't matter what the name is, though. That's just how it goes. How do they feel about it now?

Speaker 2: 51:07

My mom really likes it. I think it was just my dad that thought it was a little bit weird. But I mean he calls her baby ha, like H-A baby ha. Okay, he calls her name. I'm like sure that works. But they're fine with it.

Speaker 1: 51:26

Yeah, that's beautiful. Well, is there anything that you would like our listeners to know or learn, or just any wisdom that you want to pass to anybody that's listening?

Speaker 2: 51:39

Just from the lessons that I learned from my free birth. I would definitely just keep in mind that there is a third stage to labor, which is the birth of your placenta, and it's important. It has to come out. You don't need to be nervous about it or anxious because you don't want like hormones disrupting anything, but just to keep it in mind after your baby's born, just know that it has to come out and don't forget about it. But yeah, just trusting God that he made your body to do this and that there's no doubt that your body will not do what it's made to do, Like he will go into labor. You don't need to force anything, your body will do it. And to just pray to the Lord to give you peace about it and whatever you decide.

Speaker 1: 52:30

Awesome. I love that. Thank you so much for sharing your story. This has been so awesome to hear you have so much faith and I hope that this inspires someone listening so awesome. And thank you for tuning in and for being on the journey with us. If you'd like to follow along outside the podcast, you can do so at the Radiant Mission on Instagram and Facebook, and, as always, we have the podcast and video format on YouTube, so be sure to check that out and you'll get a little glimpse of Hadassah with Sophia. She's so cute, so you're going to want to see that. And if you want to follow Sophia, you can do so on Instagram at bosters homestead.

Speaker 1: 53:14

And today we're going to close with Sophia's favorite Bible verse. It reminds her that the Holy Spirit within me shines to other people, and it is Matthew 514, but I'm actually going to read all the way through to verse 16. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house In the same way. Let your light shine for others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. We're wishing you a radiant week and we will see you next time. Bye, everyone.