The $20 That Kept Giving

A lost wallet. A sister’s memory. And a simple question: what do you do with love after loss?

After Kristina Ulmer lost her younger sister Katie in a sudden car accident, she found herself holding onto something small but heavy—Katie’s wallet, still filled with the tips she earned that morning. For years, it sat untouched. Not spent. Not given away. Just… held.

Until one day, she decided to do something with it.

As a high school English teacher, Kristina exchanged the money for $20 bills and handed them to her students with a simple challenge:
 use this to do something kind for someone else.

What began as a quiet classroom moment turned into something far more meaningful—the $20 Kindness Challenge. But this story wasn’t really about how big it got. It was about what happened in the small, human moments along the way.

Inside a lesson on Fahrenheit 451—a story that warned about disconnection and emotional numbness—students were asked a different kind of question: how do we stay human in a world that moves too fast?

The answers didn’t come from discussion.
 They came from action.

Students created acts of kindness that reached far beyond what anyone expected—paying off library fines so senior students could graduate, sewing walker caddies for nursing home residents and spending time with people who rarely had visitors, learning what was actually needed at a women’s shelter, and giving back to food pantries they once depended on.

And something shifted.

Not just for the people receiving the kindness… but for the ones giving it.

What followed reached far beyond one classroom—into communities across the country and beyond.

$20 Kindness Challenge

Interview with Kristina Ulmer, President and Founder of the $20 Kindness Challenge 

Things that make you say "Wow"!
For more episodes and additional information visit the Two Chicks and a Hoe website and our Facebook page. 
Big thanks to our Producer, Casey Kennedy. 

Transcript

Speaker 2 0:01

Today's story begins with a wallet. In 2014, high school English teacher Kristina Ulmer lost her younger sister Katie in a car accident. In the days that followed, Kristina found herself holding on to Katie's wallet. Inside was the cash that Katie had earned waitressing that very morning. Kristina couldn't bring herself to spend it. She couldn't give it away, so she tucked it in her drawer. And it stayed there for four years. Until one day an idea came to her. Some stood on street corners handing out donuts to strangers just to make people smile. And something unexpected happened. The kindness didn't just affect the people receiving it. It changed the students too. What began as one teacher honoring her sister in a handful of $20 bills has grown into something far bigger than a classroom assignment. It is now known as the $20 kindness challenge. And today we're going to be connecting with Kristina Ulmer, the sister who founded this movement. Hey Kristina, thank you so much for joining us today. I am incredibly excited about our conversation and what we're going to be talking about. But so I kind of told the listeners a little bit about what you're doing in an introduction, but maybe you could start from kind of let's start from the beginning. Tell me, I guess, tell us first of all, what is the $20 kindness challenge? And and how did it start?

Speaker 2:15

So I it actually started uh four years before the challenge even started with um something tragic. My sister, my only sibling, passed away in a car accident. And when my parents and I went to the accident scene, um her it was a pretty terrible accident. And I I didn't, I in my head I thought like once they took her car away, wouldn't have any of her belongings. So I asked the police officers at the scene if they would go into my sister's car and get her belongings. And at first, um, two of the police officers said they couldn't do it because of the circumstances of the accident. There's a lot of glass and stuff. But one of the police officers, she very graciously told me she would climb into my sister's car and get her things. I really wanted like her phone and her purse and that kind of stuff. Um, so she did that for me. And um, I went home with her things and I was going through her belongings. And my sister, as a second job, every weekend she would waitress. And it was a job that I actually worked with her. I got her the job years ago when I was first a teacher, and I needed extra money. And so we waitressed together at this, you know, small um family-owned restaurant and like a very close-knit uh community. And when I, you know, became a teacher and was teaching more, I didn't really need that job anymore. So I left, but she stayed on and she did it as a second job all those years. And I knew that she was really beloved there. Um, and that just that morning, the morning of her death, she had actually waitressed and in her wallet was a wad of tips of the of cash. And um I I knew I wanted to do something with the money. I it wasn't a lot of money, just a couple hundred dollars. Um, but I had some ideas. At first, I thought I'd, you know, maybe buy something for my kids to remember their aunt by because they just lost her. And but like we're very blessed. We have everything. So I thought, nah, I don't want to do that. Uh, my sister was very much into supporting different charities, and it's like she volunteered at a local food bank. Um, so I thought maybe I'd donate there, or she was very much into animal rights and was a vegan. I thought I'd donate to some sort of animal shelter or something, but nothing felt right. Um, but I knew I wanted to use it for something good. So I just took the purse and the wallet and I put it in this cabinet in my living room where it sat for several years. Um, and then I'm an English teacher. I teach mostly ninth grade English with some electives in there too. Um, and we were my ninth grade class um in 2018, so it was four years after my sister had passed away. Uh, we were reading the book Fahrenheit 451. And in that novel, it takes place in the future. And even though it was written 70 years ago, everyone's obsessed and addicted to their screens. And they care more about the people in their screens and the people in their own lives, and they're anxious and depressed. They pop pop pills to go to sleep. They walk around with earbuds in their ears all day long because they can't stand the silence. And yeah, it just felt like, you know, a lot, there's a there was a lot of accidental overdosing. Um, and so anyway, we were talking about like how it's a warning. Uh Ray Bribery wrote as a warning. Um, for him, it was when TV was first invented. And he just thought people were gonna get more addicted to that. So obviously he didn't he didn't foresee where that we walk around with screen.

Speaker 2 5:41

How big the addiction would get.

Students React And First Kindness Ideas

Speaker 5:43

Right, right. So we were talking about how to prevent a society like that when it's starting to look very familiar. And I was telling a story about how um just that day, uh, this is right around the time where uh it became a trend to pay for the person's like drink behind you, like Starbucks or whatever. Yes. So that had that had happened to me that morning. And I was talking about how I had like woken up late and I was kind of having a rough morning, and then that person did it for me and it made me feel better. And how something really small, but it made me feel really good. And how like I was telling my students, like, I think I'm gonna do more things like that, and that's a way to prevent our society like from becoming the society of the book. That if we can remain connected to each other and kind of look out for each other, do small acts of kindness. Wow. Um, and we we were kind of like brainstorming different ways that we could not become like the characters in the book. And anyway, I don't know how the the idea came to me. So what I ended up doing with my sister's money, it I just thought my students needed kind of an extra lesson here. So I went to the bank and I exchanged it for $20 bills, and then I came into class and the same group of kids that you had the same group of kids, yeah, that I've been teaching. Okay. And I gave them all $20 bills and I told them the only stipulation was that they had to go use it for an act of kindness or just to make someone's day better.

Speaker 2 7:10

Wow.

Speaker 7:11

And I thought, and I told them the story of my sister and how um much of a compassionate person she was. And right before she had passed away, uh, she decided to become an EMT. And she really struggled in her 20s, like figuring out what she wanted to do with her life because she knew she wanted to help people and she wasn't sure in what way. And then eventually she decided she wanted to be an EMT and help people in their most vulnerable moments and had been had just passed her exam and was looking for a job when she died. So um, and so anyway, I talked about that and I I said it's an honor, my sister, it's her money. Um, but also it's a way for you to you know learn that like this is a way to remain connected to your fellow human being.

Speaker 1 7:50

Wow.

Speaker 7:51

So they so they they did that, they did different acts of kindness, and um and I thought that was go back, Kristina.

Speaker 2 7:58

What was the original reaction from the students when you said, Hey, everybody, here's your $10. This is what we're gonna do.

A Librarian Post Ignites Public Attention

Speaker 8:05

So, um, so it well at first, so I I told them a story of my sister and I I broke down crying. So at first they were like, Why is my teacher crying and what's happening? They didn't they definitely were shocked, and then I pulled out the money and they were like, What? Like they I right from the beginning was like disbelief. And then when I explained everything to them, they immediately were like, Let's do this. They started brainstorming, like, what could we do? Are we allowed to pull money together? Can we and like they I just then like the rest of the class, they were just brainstorming different ideas, which is so cool. Yeah. Um, and some of them, it was right before winter break that I gave them money. Some of them came back from winter break and they were like, Is it okay if my family got involved? My my little brother, he wanted to do it. So he put his own money in and he did it. I was like, that's awesome. Um, and so a lot of them ended up doing with their family members. Um, so yeah, they they they took it and ran with it. They were they were awesome. Um, and so I think they like really got the I don't know, like the lesson I was trying to teach them. And so anyway, I thought it was a one-time thing. Um, so we have semesters at my school. So that was the winter, the fall semester, and that ended in end of January. And then I had a new set of students, and I didn't think I was gonna do it again. I, you know, but someone reached out to me through email and said they had heard about what my students had done, and they wanted to write a check for the next set of students. Oh wow. And so yeah, that was my reaction. Oh. So I was like, so they were like, however many students you're gonna have do it, I'll give you the money for it. So um I was able to do it again. And then um what happened was one of my students from that group, that second group, for her $20 kindness challenge, she decided at the time our school library, if um if the students had a library book that was overdue, they had to pay a fine. And if you were a senior and you had fines, you couldn't walk in graduation.

Speaker 2 10:07

Oh I kind of remember that. Yeah.

Speaker 10:10

Yeah, yeah. We were we've gotten rid of that since, but at the time, there were several seniors who had library fines who are at risk of not walking graduation. So my student who was in ninth grade, she went to the librarian and she gave the $20 and she said, I want to pay off the library fines of some seniors that are at risk of not walking graduation. And the librarian was like, What? Like you're a freshman. What are you doing? You're paying off students. So um, because we didn't, no one really knew we had done the kindness challenge.

Speaker 2 10:39

So it wasn't like a oh, so it wasn't broadcast that the whole school didn't know about it.

Speaker 10:44

Oh no, no. I I I just kept it a small, I didn't even tell my my family, like my husband knew I did it. Um, but that was it. I didn't tell my family, my parents didn't know I did it. I just thought it would be a way of honoring my sister. I would teach my students this lesson, it'd be a small little thing. Um, and uh, and I did I did have that first group. They did record a little like reflection explaining what they did, and I put it together into a video just to show the the class. Like, here's what your fellow classmates did. But that was it, it wasn't like a public thing. So, anyway, the librarian was like, What's happening? And so she posted about it on social media, and then it kind of you know picked up a little speed, and then we started getting some media coverage. So, like our local news came in and interviewed the students about it, and um, and then our local the Philadelphia Inquire, we live outside Philadelphia, did a story on it. Um, and then I had lots of people donating to me. So people were I would find like $20 bills and envelopes in my mailbox, and um, I'd walk into my classroom and there'd be a $20 bill on my desk, and um, and then some other community members reached out and said, like, I'll sponsor your next class. And um, and then yeah, and then just kind of like snowballed from there. And so I I've so I've done it twice a year because we have semesters, um every year since the fall of 2018.

Speaker 1 12:03

Wow.

Speaker 12:04

Um yeah, and then so last in last year, and it was and we sometimes we get like local coverage, but then last year we had um the Washington Post did an article about it, and um, and that kind of made it blow up. And then I was getting a lot of donations, and I got to the point where I thought, if I have so many donations, like I my goal was I wanted to do it for the rest of my career. Um, and there was a point a year ago where I had exhausted all of our donations, and I thought, I actually told my husband, I said, if I run out of donations, we're just using our money. I I I I can't I can't stop this. Because at this point, like kids, I teach mostly ninth graders, and they would come up from middle school and a lot of their siblings had done it. So they would come in and they'd say, like, we're doing your kindness challenge, right? And I'd be like, Yeah, we're doing it.

Speaker 2 12:51

Oh gosh. Oh my gosh, they knew about it and they wanted to do it.

Building A Foundation And Funding Grants

Speaker 12:55

Yeah. So um what have you done? Well, so so we got so many donations that um I at this point I was like, I think I'd be okay like doing this for the rest of my career, but what am I gonna do if I get so many donations that I can't use them? And then I end up getting the idea that maybe I should start a foundation. So this past year I started a foundation um and with the goal of providing people resources because because with a lot of media coverage, teachers have reached out about doing it and you know, they want ideas, and do I have any advice to give them? Um, and so we've had a lot of school districts and not not just schools, there's been um churches that have reached out, um, different like communities. Like we had a mayor reach out from uh from Indiana, like a little city of Indiana. He was gonna use do it with um, I guess there was like a like a youth mayors council or something like that. Um, so different like different community organizations that work with teenagers and children have reached out. So I created the foundation as a place for like resources, but then also to be able to grant money. So this spring we're gonna grant the first teacher money to be able to pay for her class to be able to do it, which is really cool.

Speaker 2 14:07

Congratulations. That's amazing. Wow.

Speaker 14:10

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 14:11

So the program then has taken off from the Philadelphia area. Yep. Yeah. Spread across the United States, or it's spreading across the United States.

Speaker 14:19

Spread it, yeah. Oh, yeah. We've had, and people have sent us like last year, we got a lot of letters in the mail. So these beautiful handwritten letters of people saying, you know, I'm gonna do this with my family, I'm gonna do this with my community. And so it's then they've been from all over the country, which has been pretty cool. We've had people reach out from actually all over the world. We've had people reach out from like someone in Portugal messaged me and said, Oh, I read about it. I'm we're gonna do, I'm a professor, I'm gonna do with my students. I'm like, okay, okay. So um it's yeah, it's been remarkable to be able to like come in and tell my students every day, like, hey, I got a message from someone in, you know, this state or in this country, and like look how far like what you have done has has gone. Because I now I mean every semester I'll make the little video um with the reflections and it gets shared out by my school. Um, so I I mean I tell my students like it's because of them. It's the the things that they choose to do and the way they reflect on what it was taught them and and and how it felt doing the act of kindness. Like the to see like teenagers talk about that's not usual.

Speaker 2 15:23

So tell me, tell me some of the stories that they have have I some some of the experiences and the stories that they have have shared.

Student Stories That Change Perspectives

Speaker 15:31

Yeah. So uh a lot of the students will like some of the students actually learn about things that they didn't really know about. So we talk about like, you know, what are some ways that you can because because some of the kids they do things like they'll donate to our local food bank or you know, our animal shelter, and that's wonderful, and I'm glad they do that. But some students they kind of take it as a challenge. So they're like, well, what can I do that hasn't been done before? And I'm like, uh, it's this has been going on a long time. Um, but they will research they will research different things. So like I had a student, so this year, for example, um, I had a student who two three students that got together and they put their money together and they decided they wanted to do something for um uh a senior citizen center, like a nursing home. And they realized that a lot of the patients there use walkers. And they a lot of them, you know, like they have cell phones and things to carry around and they can't really carry them around while using the walkers. So they did some research, they found out that there are things called walker caddies, and they're these little things that attach the walker, and you can put so, but they didn't want to buy them, they wanted to sew them. So one of the girls knew how to sew. So, and the other one of the other girls said she never sewed before, and the other girl was like, I did before once, but I didn't really, you know, it wasn't great. But she taught her two classmates how to sew, and then the three of them sewed all these beautiful little like walker bag things, and then they went to the local nursing home, they walked around, they spoke and spent some time with the residents talking to them. And um, one of the students said that there was a uh the the it was an elderly woman who was at the nursing home, but her daughter was there and she was talking about how nice it was for young people to come visit them because a lot of people who live there, you know, don't get a lot of visitors, and it was the holiday season and and they can be really lonely. But it was really nice that they came and spent some time talking to them and you know, gave them a gift and let you know, like you could they took video of them like tying the little caddy on and showing them how to use it, and um, and so they it was cool for them. I I think as like 14-year-olds, they don't think a lot of times teenagers just you know their world is here and they don't really think outside of their their little bubble.

Speaker 2 17:50

So um this challenge has shown them that, hasn't it?

Speaker 17:54

Yes, yes. Wow, and and I've had other stories where um I had a student a few years ago, she decided she wanted to donate to a women's shelter, and her her like 14-year-old brain, she thought, I don't know why she thought this, but she told me that she thought that the women would she's like I wanted to donate something they didn't have a lot of. She's like, So I thought it'd be makeup. And I was like, What make she's like, Well, I don't know, they're at a shelter and maybe this wouldn't have that and they want to look pretty. I said, Okay. She said, but I called the shelter and they told me that what they actually needed were pads and tampons. And I said, Oh, yes, that makes sense.

Speaker 1 18:32

Yes.

Speaker 18:33

And she said, I didn't, I didn't think women, I like I didn't think that was something that you would lack. Like I I she was so distraught over the idea that something so basic that these women needed. Like she really upset her. And she's like, I didn't think I would not have thought that'd be something they were struggling to access. And I said, Yeah, I think a lot of people don't think about donating those things. And she said, Well, I went and bought $20 worth of pads and tampons because I could not believe that there are women who are struggling for something so basic. And I said, Yeah, so it kind of opened her eyes to the ways that people are struggling that she wasn't aware of.

Speaker 2 19:09

Wow, big life lesson, huh? Wow, yeah. I I would I would think too, like you say, they're they're 14-year-olds, right? That this idea to give back might be new to some of them. But also too, some of the I you the experiences and the lessons learned must be very profound.

Speaker 19:32

Yes, I I I some of them have been very profound. I had another student a couple of years ago, he had read in our local news there was a person struggling with homelessness in one of our local towns, and she had set up a tent on one of the sidewalks in in the like downtown, um, which he had seen, and he read an article in the news about it. Um, and he told me that the way the article was, or I don't know if it's the article or maybe it was the comments like on social media under the article, but the way that people were talking about her was as to in his words, as if she was trash and it bothered him so much. And so he ended up putting together like a high, like a whole basket of like hygiene products and snacks and that kind of stuff to give to her because he said, you know, like she's a human being. And I couldn't believe that the way that people were speaking about her was as if like she was deserving of less than we are. And uh, and I remember just having a conversation with him. I was like, that's very deep for someone your age to recognize that we are all human beings and some of us just have different circumstances that we end up in places that we didn't think we were gonna end up. Um, so some of those lessons have been really profound. And this year I had for for me, that was something that was very profound. Um, for the first time I had a student, she donated, she took the money and she donated to a um food pantry. She ended up buying some food for a food pantry. And the reason why she did that is she shared how she used to live off of food pantry food and for many years growing up. And now that her family is has, you know, is more secure financially, like they're able to buy her their own food. And she really wanted to be able to support the food pantry that allowed her to survive. And she was telling me how like important it was for her to give back to that. And she's like, I know it was an I know some people did interesting and creative things. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. That's it's really important that you supported, like you were able to give back to the people that gave to you. And she said it was really important for me to do that because I know there are kids that are surviving because of that food pantry the way I was. And I wanted to make sure that I gave them the food to survive, like I did. I was like, Wow. I mean, that's amazing. I uh yeah, when she was talking telling me that, I was like, that's I said, No, I'm so glad that you did that you that's that what you chose to spend your money on. Yeah.

Speaker 2 21:53

Wow.

unknown 21:56

Yeah.

Kindness Ripples Across Communities

Speaker 2 21:57

I had a feeling that you might put me on the edge of. Tears, but stories. I well, I just you know, for people to do this, especially teenagers, I find that just beyond amazing. I world that I want to live in.

Speaker 22:11

Oh, that's what I I tell them all the time. I say that to them all the time. I said, You are like you're saving our future. Okay, you're yeah, I'm I'm relying on you because I I think so many times people stereotype teenagers, and and I understand, like and they do, like they are on their phones and they but and that's just part of adolescence is that they don't have the vision to see like the long term, right? Um but I I don't I like I tell the I tell the students all the time, like I it bothers me when people stereotype them as being self-centered and like yes, part of adolescence is kind of being self-centered, but I don't see it, I don't see it as like that's their generation trait, you know. Like I I just think it's part of growing up is you start learning to look outside yourself. Um, and I don't I see them caring for one another. Um all the time.

Speaker 2 23:07

I mean, so have you actually seen the shift from your I know it's been years now, and those students have probably graduated.

Why Intentional Kindness Matters Now

How To Join And Closing Reflections

Speaker 23:13

Have yes, I I have. I've been in touch with some of them. It's funny because um one of my students who is a senior, I had her as a freshman, and um we were we were reading a different, it was a totally different story, but no, no, it wasn't. We were reading Fahrenheit. She was in my class for that, and um she she was very um like I don't know, she was like, Well, you know, I I she associated more with the characters in the society. Like she kind of like the way she said to me is like she not that she was uncaring, but she definitely didn't the way she spoke. She kind of make jokes about stuff and um things that would happen in the book. And uh, like I I don't know, I could definitely get a sense like she wasn't as empathetic as she could be. And she's told me that she said, like, I've definitely she ended up writing her college essay on doing the kindness challenge and how it made her have to consider different, like different points of view and other people. She ended up for her first time. She wrote um, there was a veterans home and she wrote letters to and like like holiday cards, Christmas cards, and she wrote them out um with letters to veterans. And she told me like it made me have to think about someone beside myself and consider maybe the way I say things, or I like I don't know, maybe I question the way I've been kind of thinking of things. So anyway, she's a senior now, and she has she is she and one of her classmates um have done my challenge the most of anybody. They've done it every single semester. So I had her freshman year and all all both semesters freshman year. And then when she I didn't have her sophomore year, and she came back and she said, I I want to know if I can do, I know I don't have you as a teacher, but because I always offer it to my the students I'm teaching. Um but she said, I would like to do it again. I said, Sure, I'm not gonna turn you away. And so she has come back every semester, she and her friend. So uh this semester will be the eighth time they've done it. Um, and so yeah, she now she's gonna come with she and the other student are gonna come with me um to give to give the teacher that we're gonna grant money to. So she's gonna, I I approached her, I was like, the foundation, we now have money to grant another teacher. There's a teacher in New Jersey, we are gonna grant her money. Would you wanna come? And she's like, Yes, like I can I come. I want to come, I want to tell them about it. Uh so she's gonna her and her friend are gonna come and they're gonna explain like how they've done it for you know eight eight times now, and hear all the different things they've done and what they've learned. And um, yeah, it's really cool. It's really cool to see how that's grown. Yeah. And also, like, I I did have a former student, she was in the second group that did it. Um, so she's a senior in college now. She reached out to me recently to tell me how um like important the the challenge was for her. That when she was a freshman in high school, she was kind of shy. And she decided for her, she ended up doing it twice because I had her again senior year for different class. But and her freshman year, when she did it, she made they're called Jared boxes. So they're activity boxes that you can donate to hospitals for kids that are in the hospital and have like coloring books and stuff like that. Um, and it's named after a little boy whose name is Jared. I don't, I don't remember the exact story, but he was sick and in the hospital. I know his friends made him these boxes, and that's how it started this organization. So um, she learned about the organization. She ended up putting in her own money because I think she made maybe like 15 boxes. And anyway, she reached out to me two months ago to tell me that she's a senior in college now, and how that challenge has stayed with her over the years because it really pushed her out of her comfort zone for her to, like with her personality, to go to the hospital to have to first of all call the hospital, ask if they even participate in this program, um, to go there, to give the boxes, to talk to the adults there. She said when she was there dropping them off, there was a woman in the parking lot who asked her what she was doing because she was carrying these big boxes. And um the woman said, Oh, my nephew's in the hospital all the time, and he has gotten a Jared box before it has really helped him, like helped kept, you know, kept him calm. And um, and so that really had an effect on her. And so she went off to college, and um, she, as I said, she's a senior in college right now, and she was this past fall, she was walking down the main street of the college, and there was a man painting a mural on one of the walls on on like this main street of this college, and she just like stopped and watched him painting it. I guess there's a muralist that's painting a bunch of different murals around the town, and there in the mural is the little boy Jared and a Jared box, and she's like, What the right? So she goes up to the muralist and she's like, I'm sorry, I have to stop you. I have to tell you the story. So she tells him the story about how she did this kindness challenge in high school and tells the whole story about her teacher. And she ended up, I said, as I said, she did it twice. She did it her senior year too, where she um she collected books and she bought some books to donate to a kind of a book drive. And um, anyway, she tells the story to the muralist, and the muralist is so touched. And he says, Give me your hand, and he painted her hand, and he said, You got to put your handprint in the mural. Now her handprint is in the mural on top of the box in the mural. So she reached out to tell me the story and tell me just how much of an impact that challenge had on her and how she's really thought about it over the years, and she's tried to do things, acts of kindness, and she's been involved in other things in college to help others. And um, she now is gonna go to grad school to her, she wants to work with uh creating devices to help children who have um like verbal disabilities. Uh, she wants to be able to develop devices to help them speak. Um, and so she, yeah, she's just like now an amazing human being. She was an amazing human being as a freshman, but um, but yeah, like that was cool for her to reach out and say, like, I just want you to know like how much it's it's been eight years, uh, but I wanted you to know how much of an impact it had on me. So I yeah, it's it's crazy hearing those kinds of stories and like thinking like that the lessons the students have learned have really stayed with them, uh, which was the goal. That was the whole goal in the first place. So um yeah, I yeah.

Speaker 2 29:43

Almost speechless, almost speechless. Um I I just you know what I see is uh I I had a teacher, I grew up in different parts of the world, and I had a teacher that stayed, you know, at the impact that he had on my life through his teaching, and we didn't do something like this, but we did some very similar things, but it stayed with me. And I still, you know, 50 years later, I still have contact with him. And I I just want you to know that I mean, uh you already know, I know you have must know because the feedback that you're getting, but what you're doing for these children is changing the world. Thank you.

Speaker 30:23

Wow. Oh, thank you. I I've you know, I often think about the teachers I had and the impact they had on me. You mentioning your teacher. I also had a teacher who was my eighth grade English teacher. I loved her. She definitely inspired me to become an English teacher. And um, and in fact, when I was in college and had to go back and observe classes, I spent some time in her class too, just as a freshman in college. Um, but I had not, I saw her, I saw her when I was in eighth grade. I saw her when I was a freshman in college, just observing her for a few hours. But when my sister passed away, she showed up at my sister's funeral, just out of like, I had not spoken to her. I I mean, I don't know, in I think it was like 12 years had passed. I and I still remember being in the you know the receiving line and seeing her face and thinking, oh my god, Mrs. Medvekis, uh you're here. I I have not spoken. And she said she had seen the obituary in the newspaper and she just had to come. And she lit, I knew she at that point she had moved kind of far away. She had retired. I thought, you drove all the way here for like she's like, I had to, I had to come for you. I I just so like, yeah, I mean though you think of those people, yeah, those teachers you had in your life who just had a really strong impact on you. Um, and I always wanted to try to be that kind of teacher.

Speaker 2 31:42

I think you might have accomplished that. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. So can I ask you something on on the very personal side? Um you said initially the first year you did it, you didn't tell your family. You just, you know, with your husband. Yeah. So what was the reaction when you you told more of your family?

Speaker 32:03

Um, I mean, they my this is quite an honor for your sister. Yeah. My um I so at first the reason why I didn't tell my family, I I my sister's death was very, very hard. Um she I mean, it's not like she was she was young, she was 29. So it's but it's not like she was like a little kid. Um, but her absence still was felt very much in my family. Um, so for me at first, part of it was like, I'm just gonna do this thing quietly. I'll just honor her Kate. And I didn't want to tell my parents that I thought it might might upset them, but they they actually had the opposite reaction. Like they were just so honored that she was being remembered because my sister didn't have children, she wasn't married. Um, so for them, for at least for my my parents, they always kind of feared like she'd be forgotten, um, which he definitely hasn't. Uh my sister was one of those people that at her funeral, like everybody there was like, oh, she was my best friend. And she really was. So he was like everyone's best friend. So um I never thought she'd be forgotten, but I understand like from the perspective of a parent that you think your kid, you know, like I I have children. So if something happened to me, I'd have I'd leave this legacy behind of them, um, where my sister didn't have that. So for that, for them, the reaction was just like, I mean, they were just in tears. I sent them, I I what happened was when the librarian posted about it, um, I called my parents. I was like, you're gonna see a post on Facebook. Here's what happened. I never told you, but now it looks like this thing is gonna be a little bigger than I thought it was gonna be. And then they were just they were in tears watching the video. Um, and they're they they tell me they'd cry every semester watching the video. Um, so yes, yeah, yeah. So I think just like it's it's it's a way for my at least for me, it's been a way to kind of keep my sister still around and close. And I I do think of all the things like every time my students are like they do something, I every semester I'm putting the video together, and so I watch my sister my teacher or students' reflections. Um, and and often I'm thinking about like, oh like the first person I want to call right now is is Kate. Like I want to call and be like, you gotta hear what my student did. Like they came with this really. I mean, I do. Like I think of like I student, I remember last year I really had like that moment I could feel her because I my um one of my students, she she came up to me. I usually give my students about a month to do the act of kindness because some of them do things that like involve making something or something. So one of my students came up and she's like, Mr. Silmer, I know you gave us a month, but like, is it okay if I take a little longer? I said, why? And she said, Well, I want to, I know I only have $20, but I want to make more money. And I said, Oh, I said, do whatever you want to do, go for it. So she um she and another student, they pulled their money together and they baked cookies, and then her family owns a barbershop. So she went to the barbershop and they sold the cookies to earn money. And the goal was they had found an animal shelter and there was an animal who, a dog, and the adoption fee was $300. And her goal was she was gonna take her $20, well, $40, because it was between the two of them, and they wanted to earn $150. So she told me, I'm gonna try to sell enough cookies to make $150, and we can pay for half this dog's adoption fee. I was like, you try. And she they ended up raising $315. They paid for the adoption fee, then they bought like some toys or something for the dog, and then she said that this family was able to adopt the dog for free. And I remember watching that. She told me about it every day. She would be like, Yeah, we we sold this many cookies. And um, but watching the video of her and her her classmate reflecting on that, like my sister was so passionate about animals that I was like, I could just like I can imagine my sister being right there and being like, Isn't this isn't this amazing? Look what she did. I could I could feel it. I could feel it. I could feel her. I really could. I could feel her being like, oh my god, like yeah, oh my god, like I could really, I don't know, I just hear her voice.

Speaker 2 36:22

Wow. Wow, that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that with us. Um I we kind of already talked about this, but the ripple effect of this now, from one classroom now, going to New Jersey, Indiana, and it's continuing to spread, isn't it?

Speaker 36:43

Oh yeah. Yeah. I've had a bunch of uh bunch of teachers and communities reach out to tell me that they're going to do it, that they've either they are you know collecting donations from community members, or um I had someone reach out that they they have a very small school with only 130 students, but they got a sponsor to sponsor all of their students and their whole school. Oh they're gonna they're gonna do it this April. Um, so I part of part of the reason why I also I create a foundation was like a place for people then to go share that because I I've told every person I'm like whenever you do it, like tell me. I want to know how it went. Like I want to hear about it because I I love like seeing how other, especially like other ages. I had a there's a teacher last year in Delaware who ended up doing it with her elementary students, and um, she got a local, she just went on Facebook and went to like their local community Facebook page and said, I have this idea, you know, and anyone want to sponsor us. And there was a gentleman who stepped up and he said, I'll I'll pay for your class. And uh it was pretty cool. She told me he came in and he gave the money out to the kids. So it was like really good for him because he felt good. He felt like he was giving back to the community and the kids felt like you know, the community's giving back to them. And then uh and then she shared with me all the pictures of all the things the kids did. So it's so cool like seeing because I I work with teenagers, so it's cool seeing an element, you know, elementary level kid, these little kids, these like 10-year-old, 11-year-olds doing it, um, and all the smiles on their faces, and hearing them talk about what they learned from it and how it made them feel good. And you know, like they're gonna that's gonna stick with them all through middle school and high school, you know.

Speaker 2 38:23

So it we all recognize the world that we live in. Yep. Yeah, so and and it feels kind of heavy at times.

Speaker 38:31

Oh yes.

Speaker 2 38:32

Yeah, so why do you think and I mean I want to know from your experience with with the kids, why do you think that intentional kindness like this matters right now?

Speaker 38:45

I think uh I think sometimes we uh we believe that okay, our our world is so much on social media these days, we uh uh we misunderstand that to be reality. And I think it's easy for people on social media to be so angry and you know, you can be a keyboard warrior and you can and you don't have someone in you know in front of you. Um and I do think over the years, unfortunately, some of that has like bled into reality. Um so I think that when you are intentional and deliberate about acts of kindness, it just allows you to realize that there, first of all, there are people around you that are struggling with things that you don't know about. And so you don't know if doing something kind what it will how it will affect them. So, like for example, I had students last year who they just used the money, they bought um flowers and made little fat flower bouquets and walked around town and went into businesses and handed them out. And one of the people they gave to posted on on social media about getting the flowers and how like these teenagers walked in and got she gave her this bouquet of flowers, and they had no idea that she was having such a terrible day. And they just that just that small little act made and my students didn't know it either. They didn't later on. I like days later, I was like, Did you I know you're because kids aren't on Facebook. I said, I know you're not on Facebook, but I have to show you this post. Was this you? And because she mentions the business, and they were like, Oh, yeah, that's ours. I said, Do you read what she says? Like you had no idea that she was having such a horrible day and you made it so much better. So I think part of it is like people around us are struggling with things that we don't know. Um, and we don't know if something like that. Right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 40:39

Yeah.

Speaker 40:40

And and I also think that when we just take time to be kind with each to each other, like it's it's kind of difficult to be angry and and mean when you are doing an act of kindness. I don't like you kind of and you and also you feel so good doing it. It is partly a selfish thing, like you are helping the person, but you also you feel better. And then I also think you go about your day a little differently too.

Speaker 1 41:03

Yes, right?

Speaker 41:04

Because you do the act of kindness and then you're like, oh, I feel good, and then you're like, I'll hold the door open for this person, and maybe I won't, you know, when I'm driving my car, give that person the finger who cut me off. Maybe I'll say, you know what, they're in a rush for some reason. Yes, give them a little grace. Um, I don't know, you start, you kind of walk around a little differently, right?

Speaker 2 41:25

Do you see that with them?

Speaker 41:27

I do, yeah. I do see them with that, with them. Yeah. I do. I see them. Um, I think I see them like at least like in in class, you know, I I try really hard to say, like, you're not gonna be, you know, clicky and sit with just your friends, like we're gonna work with other people. And I do see some of that where they maybe like recognize that people in their class are even if they're not friends with each other, they might be going through things, or right, like that they they don't necessarily know like the full background of their classmates and that they're gonna treat each other in a way that might be c more kind to each other. So yeah.

Speaker 2 42:04

So you think that they are I I'm I sometimes I'm not sure if we recognize. I mean, I you you said it that people don't we don't know what's going on in people's lives. You know, we don't know why they're doing weird stuff on the road. You know, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So are the kids getting that message? Are they seeing that their smallest act can have such a a profound kids word I seem to keep using with you?

Speaker 42:29

I I do, I do. I I I I I don't know if all of them do right now. I do, I do sometimes sit tell people too, like, um, because I so I have two children, one's 11, one's 14. And um, and I tell sometimes I'll talk to other moms, and you know, they'll be like, oh my kids, I tell them something 10,000 times and they don't get it. And I tell them, yes, but just like when we were children, our parents told us something 10,000 times, and maybe when we were older, it finally like sunk in and we were mature enough, our brain was developed enough to be like, oh, okay, I get it now. So I I think you know, some sometimes, I mean they're teenagers, they still act like teenagers. Um, so I don't know if all of them get it right now. I do think that, and some of them do, because some of them tell me they do. Um but I do hope that that a lot of them grow up and they reflect back on it and they go, oh, you know, like now I get it. You know, I'm an adult now, now I get it.

Speaker 1 43:30

Yes.

Speaker 43:31

That's my hope.

Speaker 2 43:32

Well, I I was gonna say it that's a great hope. And I I think everything that you're doing really is about hope. Yes, oh definitely. I just I'm very moved by that. I just think we really need that in the world and to to have it start at such a young age. What a great thing. Very grateful for the work that you're doing. On all levels, not just the challenge, but being a teacher as well. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Um I I I I want to tell the listeners and and tell me if I'm got this right now. So you have a you're you already have a foundation, so you have a nonprofit now. So you can go to the website, which is the $20, and it's written out, you guys, $20 uh help me out here. $20.

Speaker 44:19

$20 kindnesschallenge.org. So two like two zero and then dollar spelled out kindnesschallenge.org.

Speaker 2 44:27

You can go and donate and it'll help, you know, it'll help the programs at your school, but also the grants now that are going across the United States and I see globally soon as well.

Speaker 44:38

Yes, yes, hopefully.

Speaker 2 44:40

Guys, you can find that website. I I've I blotched it to trying to get it out, but you can find the website on our website, twochicksin ahoe.org. It'll be on Facebook, it'll be everywhere that you get information uh about our website or about what's going on. And um, I hope that people will participate in this and send you lots of money so that you can get this. This is such a great program. I saw you a few weeks ago on TV and I was like, what? What is this? And that's that's when I was like, I have to reach out. I have to talk to you because I was so wowed by what you guys were doing. So thank you very, very much for your time and everything that you're doing in the world.

Speaker 45:20

Of course, and thank you so much for reaching out and for such a wonderful conversation. I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2 45:27

You know, after talking with Kristina, I found myself thinking about something really simple. How often we walk past opportunities to be kind, not because we don't care, but because we're busy, we're distracted, or we're just moving too fast. Life does move quickly. We're thinking about the next thing, the next error, the next place, the next this, the next that. And we know this. This is what our life is sometimes. And in the middle of all that movement, there are these quiet little intersections with other people. A moment where our lives brush up against someone else's. Sometimes we notice, sometimes we don't. But every once in a while you hear a story or have a conversation like this one, and it gently reminds you to slow down a bit, to look up and see who's around you. And I love that. I love that because it doesn't ask us to change the world, it asks us to be present and see the chances to love in front of us. Kristina, thank you so much for sharing your time with us and for trusting us with your story. If you guys like to learn more about the $20 kindness challenge, we'll have the link on the Two Chicks in a Ho website, and I promise to have it done correctly. And, you know, we'll have any other information too, but check out their website. Thanks everyone for joining us. Until next time, take care of each other.