A Call To Leadership

EP267: Slaying Stinking Thinking with Jason Yarusi

• Dr. Nate Salah

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Are you living with urgency or just waiting for the “right time” to take action? Jason Yarusi reveals how the stories we tell ourselves shape our reality and how small, intentional changes can create massive transformations. From overcoming fear to mastering discipline, he shares the key mindset shifts that separate those who succeed from those who stay stuck. If you’re tired of making excuses and waiting for “someday,” this episode will challenge you to take control and start today.
 

 Key Takeaways To Listen For

  • How the stories you tell yourself can either hold you back or push you forward
  • The power of small, consistent changes in creating massive transformations
  • Why overcoming fear is key to unlocking your full potential
  • How to regain control of your life by shifting your mindset
  • The role of discipline in achieving long-term success



About Jason Yarusi
Jason is a private fund manager overseeing $300M+ in commercial real estate and the founder of Yarusi Holdings, with 3,000+ apartment and commercial units acquired since 2017. A serial entrepreneur, he has built and exited multiple businesses, including construction, restaurants, and a brewery. As the host of the Live 100 Podcast and leader of the 7 Figure Multifamily Mastermind, Jason empowers investors to scale and achieve financial freedom.


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[00:00:00] Dr. Nate Salah
Hello, my friend, and welcome to this episode of A Call to Leadership. I am Dr. Nate Salah. I am so glad you are here. If you've ever been a human being, and you have, you have likely had negative thoughts. We call it stinking thinking. And those thoughts have tremendous dominion and influence over our perspective in life, our energy, our motivation, our discipline, the habits we form. And we have to make the conscious choice to make change in our lives because the negativity, the negative thoughts do not lead to the optimistic future that is right there in front of us. The, the life of abundance, the life of fulfillment, the life of completeness, the life that we so desperately desire, but yet sometimes can't turn the corner because we think it's so monumental, so many things have to change.


[00:01:05]
 What if we just took baby steps? And what if we changed one incremental thought at a time? Well, friend, I have a wonderful guest on the program, Jason Yarusi, who is going to unpack some of his transformative experiences, massive, massive story of impact and change that's inspiring. And we'll dig deep, and we will find a shared purpose for with a proven plan to help take that step out of negativity, into abundance, into the optimism that you're being called to receive. Can't wait for you to listen in. This is A Call to Leadership. Jason, welcome to this program. We get the. It is recording out of the way there. So great to be here. Thanks so much for having me. Welcome. Welcome, man. Yeah. So, yeah, interesting timing for our conversation around this idea of aiming for greatness.


[00:02:07]
 And your journey and some of the principles that you bring to the table, because I think they're really important, especially for our listener recently, and I want to kick it off with with a short story and then and then I want to hear about your how you how you process some of this in your own walk. So, I, I'm 52 this year, and my dad died at 62. And so in our family, heart disease is, is definitely a concern. And my dad didn't want to get a stint. And so he was like, I'm just gonna take my chances. And sadly he, he, he passed. And that was his decision. And, of course, we had lots of great, uh, time together before that. However, I give you that preface to say that, you know, I take pretty good care of myself, but it's possible that, uh, you know, I may die at 62. And I think about that as not as debilitating, however, from the perspective of. What if I had 10 years to live? You know, of course I could, I could die as we're speaking or, or, or anytime in that timeframe or 20, 30, 40, 50, hopefully maybe years,  after that, I'd love to live as long as I possibly can before I, I make my way to heaven, and, and blaze, if you will.


[00:03:21]
 However, if it's 10, if that's my marker, that really has an impact on how I show up every day. Because that finite marker for me creates this sense of, I don't want to call it urgency, but sense of presence in the moment that these moments are a gift that I have to maximize, maximize the value of them because they're limited. And the truth is, whether or not it's 10 years or five years or two days or whatever it is, they're limited, right? We're only gonna be here for so long. I lay that out, and it might sound kind of heavy, but I lay that out. As we begin our conversation around how you also have adapted to show up with your best self aiming for greatness, because in this day and age, I don't know that we necessarily pay enough attention on the way that we impact the world around us and what's between our ears, the most valuable, you're a real estate guy, the most valuable real estate on the planet, right, is the real estate between our two ears. 


[00:04:28] Jason Yarusi
You know, it's really surprising the stories we tell ourself, right? I can remember it. So I'm 46. I just turned 46, right? I can remember being 23, right? And, and the difference between 23 to 46. It's happened in the split of a second. But I can remember it for at 23 telling myself I was too old to do certain things, right? There were certain things that I was too old to do, right? And I look back at that is that, you know, It was just the way my mind was graps in. I was too old to potentially go after this one career. I was potentially too old to start this thing. Right. And now, as you look at this, right, I, that was a story I was telling myself. And now, if I look back and look forward to today is 46. I think how silly that was because today I'm thinking that I, I have the opportunity to do a million things still with the time I have left here. Now, like you said, I can't, I can't tell you how much time that is. But I can tell you that I'm going to use that time to the best of my ability. For many years, I wasted that time. I spent a lot of time, just doing things, thinking I had really tomorrow. And that's always that dangerous paradigm, because what that does is it constantly leads you to a place of unhappiness because you think that you need tomorrow because for today you need to get ready for tomorrow, right?


[00:05:42]
 So if I. You know, could just go and read one more book if I can go and meet just one more person to talk to or if I can go just learn that one more thing you get in this cycle where you're constantly just giving yourself excuses for why you need to wait for some some future time for you to start. What truly is your life, right? And then that becomes scary because what happens is tomorrow becomes a decade. It becomes two decades, right? And you could think of this, like, I'm sure someone's listening here who is just not truly happy with where they are in their, their job or their fitness, right? You pick, pick Whichever it is right but you've been telling yourself that you're going to do something at some certain point when I have a hundred thousand hours in the bank then I will go and start that business or you know when I get three hours in a window I'll go start working out right all these things that ultimately are is just some way to just really push off what you could just do right now and when you think about that you know.


[00:06:39]
 You start getting this life where you're doing things that ultimately you're not happy with, and then you're just not having happy results. Right? So if you're saying, okay, you know, I don't like my job, but I'm going to stay at my job because I, I just, I have this 401k, I just got to get to the certain point. Well, every day you're just facing a life that you're not happy with. And so why go through that when you just talk about it is that our, our time here on earth is short, you know, you can go through it, you know, like, um, I'm a Christ follower. I know from your conversation you are as well, but you can think about it. However you believe, how many. Years and hundreds of millions, billions of years, you think this earth has been here, like even think of the last 2000 years, this thing about now you potentially are here for 50, 75 years, 100 years. Great. You know, like as, as we continue to evolve here, 100 years, right? So we're barely on this earth. We constantly think we have so much time to just go out there and, and, and seek what we want. When in fact, it's just our mind telling us of some precaution because we're worried about getting hurt, you know, you know, when you're born, you're worried about two things, right? Like the fear of falling down and loud noises, right?


[00:07:37]
 Those are the two things that are ingrained with you when you're born today. We have countless fears yet to when you're born, but now you have countless fears. So where did they come from? Right? It came from, you know, society, your family, your education, all these things that were ingrained to us. And it gets back to the true nature of us having to ask ourself, what is. The actual fear is the actual fear of us just looking stupid, you know, potentially having someone say something bad about us actually knowing that we haven't done the work, right? What is the actual fear? Because when you can label the actual fear, you can actually. Treat it as what it is, it's your choice of a fear. It's not necessarily the fear. It's fear itself. And when we can start to label these fears, right, we can start to say, Okay, afraid that people are going to say, you know, I didn't make it, right? In fact, then you have to ask, well, who's going to say that, right? Who are these people that are going to say that?


[00:08:30] 
Or are you just coming up with this in your mind? And you start to put so much bad in your body, right? That it's hard for us to get out the positive because we just keep layering all this negativity. And what I found in my life is that I was doing that. I faced a lot of loss in high school. I am just complete randomness. I went to, you know, it wasn't like a, I didn't live in like a war zone. I didn't have a bunch of friends in military. I just, I lived in middle-class town. Right. And over the course of, you know, 13 to 17, um, my best friend was killed in a boating accident. My friend down the street committed suicide with a shotgun, a friend on a football team, um, got into a car accident, you know, being in the car with a drunk driver. And at 17, my, my girlfriend was killed in a car accident. And so I went to college, just like lost, like what is going on, you know, and just like lost. I, my parents, although still together today, they were facing all kinds of financial troubles, had a small business. It was just constant, constant part of just, just money always being a problem.


[00:09:27]
 And so I went to college, just like lost. And I took all that baggage with me where I left college just really no desire like you just have a lot like things taken from you just kind of lose your path and moved into New York City with a business finance degree and I just, I had no real path and so I just started working a bunch of like odd jobs, working in bars, working in restaurants, just doing a bunch of things that you just you. Yeah. Take care. Didn't feel any fulfillment, right? I didn't feel like I didn't feel good with what I was doing. I didn't feel like I was going anywhere, and I feel like I was progressing, and I did that for a couple of years, and I was just angry with the world, right? I was angry for, you know, my life. I was just blaming everything, blaming society, blaming, you know, blaming anything, blaming my upbringing, blaming my schooling. And lo and behold, one night, walking out of a bar, get on a bicycle, drive, ride across Manhattan, and out of nowhere, I get hit by a car, thrown into the air, and next thing I know, I'm in the hospital. Get some stitches in my chin, back of my head, I got a pin in my wrist, you know, I got a broken bone in my shoulder, and I finally got out of the hospital a day later, and all I'm thinking about is like, I need to get back to this bartender job that I don't want to be at because I need to make money for rent.


[00:10:36]
 I made this agreement with myself in a moment that I was like, okay, listen, that is The craziest conversation that you're ever going to have with yourself because all you do is hate where you are And now you're just trying to get back to where you don't want to be after getting hit by a car And so I made this Moment of discovery where I said, okay I don't know what i'm going to do, but I need to do something different and lo and behold I just started to make small changes Don't stay out late. Don't drink at night, you know get up and start working out like start Start reading books like, you know, like start taking something in and it wasn't like this rapid transformation But just to change that just started to take all the negative inputs that I had Been forcing down my throat and started to create Better and better and better thoughts and ideas and, and things changed, right? I went from, you know, working behind the bar to owning a bar and restaurant. I opened and sold a brewery in New York city, started to, you know, I went out and transformed my family's construction business. That was really faltering for a lot of times before moving into real estate. And, you know, we started, uh, working in single-family residential before moving in commercial buying apartment buildings. And lo and behold, over the course of the last eight, nine years, we've brought about 300 million of real estate, you know, across seven states. And so it was a lot of small changes that over time just catapulted into really big, big changes. 


[00:11:53] Dr. Nate Salah
Yeah, I mean, wow. Wow. What a. What a journey of, of resilience, of preparation and not, not taking that, those challenges and, and living in defeat. And I love the, the approach to the, to the small changes. We don't have to. We don't have to make these. Monumental moves when we're simply trying to survive, right? Sometimes, it's emotional. Sometimes, it's mental. Sometimes it's physical, financial, spiritual, right? Sometimes we're just trying to take a breath for the day because life and life circumstances have. I've just hit you, hit you like a freight train and it's okay, like, just to stop in that moment because I, I just, you know, rewinding to the, you know, the moments when you, when you face those kinds of challenges, it's okay to say, you know what, this is hard. It's okay to say this stinks. Like this is not my ideal experience. However, you like someone listening, like myself, you face massive trials and the way I. It's hard in the moment, but the way I like to envision those trials is a strengthening. It's a strengthening of the struggle muscles. And it's, he talks about, you know, being a, being a believer. I don't know if I love this verse or if I hate this verse in the Bible, but, and maybe some days I love it, maybe some days I hate it. It's in, the, the, the book of James. And here's what he says. He talks about when you, you're basically, facing trials. And so James says, consider it pure joy when you face trials. All kinds of trials or adversity or challenges. Now, who would put the words joy, not only joy, but pure brother, pure joy.


[00:13:52]
Like who can do that? It's like, Oh my goodness. And there's, I believe, I believe that that was very. Intentional of James to use the language, of course, different translations have different language to use the language, pure joy when you're facing those trials. And of course, he explains why he talks about the, you know, the building of your character through that, through that experience, and I believe that's truly where characters built. I believe that strong character and I believe that God cares deeply about our circumstances, and it will take us through our circumstances to build us into the character of Christ. I believe that. And, but, but in the moment, it doesn't feel good, right? It doesn't feel good. However, holding on to that and, and identifying, okay, hey, what are these small steps in my life that need to be taken through the trial, through the challenge? Because I, you know, for those of us who exercise. I know, you know, you, you get the idea of look, man, you know, you got to get to where almost to muscle failure, if you want to truly build it, you got to get to the, I was working out yesterday and I've gone through this program and I was on a doing bench and it's two to five reps, you got to put a lot of weight on.


[00:15:12] 
So I was, at first I had, uh, enough weight on it to where I got up to six reps, and I was like, okay, well, I got to put another 10 pounds on each side. And 10 pounds on each side, it's not, it doesn't seem like a lot, but it's like, Oh, that third rep, that was hard. It was hard. And like, okay, there you go. Now, now you're actually, you're actually strengthening your muscles because when it's too easy. And don't get me wrong, there's a time and a place for easy, right? There's a time and a place for the beach and the relaxation, the recharging. That's just not when we're getting stronger. And I love how you frame your life experience around this, you know, these, these experiences that you're facing that have led you to where you are today. Someone listening is like, okay, all right, I get that. I'm in a crisis right now. I need some steps. Jason, help me. Help me understand with some of these steps that you're talking about that have led you out of the challenges and the trials into, into the light and into, into, into accomplishment. 


[00:16:16] Jason Yarusi
So there's crisis in many forms of our life. We constantly will face a crisis then, but I like to think of it in a couple ways, right? And there's the crisis of, you know, it's a five-second crisis, or it's a five-year crisis. And the five-year crisis is something that I'm going to absolutely remember. It could be monumental and just the effect and the change of my life, right? And so, okay, we really need to focus. Right. But then there's the five-second crisis where it's something that happens in our day, and we just have to get it done. And what happens so many times in life is that we treat both the same. And we're constantly like, it's like if you're in a car and like car goes up to 8, 000 RPMs, we're always at RPM 8, 000 through the whole day because everything. Everything, everything's like your whole day is like that because everything is hitting you, and it's all urgency. It's all crisis, right? Because you're treating it all as crisis, but we can break this down you say, okay. Part of me growing is that I'm gonna have to face these Incremental challenges are going to come up through my day through my week, right? We always want easy, but there is no easy in life, life has its challenges, but our ability to grow through a challenge is what makes us and what brings us out the other side. And hard is not the same for two people, right? And so, like, you know if I was to go out there and run a mile, that might be really hard for someone, but then someone else, it might be really easy for, right?


[00:17:32] 
Cause they have their own level of heart. So we have to look at the challenges we're facing today. The best way to go and deal with what we'd say is crisis is that we have to break down what we're actually dealing with because right now we might say I'm sick. I'm in a fight with my wife, I'm about to get fired at my job, at some part, um, you know, my car needs a new tire, right? And so now at this part, we're in crisis, but in fact, that makes it so much more involved and hard to deal with because we haven't gone and completely become secular with each of the challenges. Okay. I need a new tire. Do I have the money to pay for it? No. Okay, what else can I sell or can I go do or can I borrow money? Right? I'm gonna fight my wife. Okay, let's break this down. Why did that fight come up? Well, it's a fight over money. Well, why did it come over a fight over money? Because you know, I had 400 and I want to spend it on a TV when in fact it could add that money for a tire. Right? So, can we break that down? Okay, so how can we go back and have that conversation? Right? So when you put these each on the paper and each into their own place, you can start to deal with each thing that's in front of you. Mhm. In a way that you can come up with an action because usually we just put out there into the universe the, the verbiage of what's happening, right?


[00:18:38] 
I'm in a crisis, but the whole part is that you have to have the cause and act, right? Okay. Okay. If the cause is this, well, what's the action to that, right? You are a problem solver in your own life—many times. We're just a problem-giver, right? I come in. I see many people in front of me. I just give me problems. Well, okay. Well, that's fine. Like I, I love great teams, you know, a number of businesses and for the people to come in there at First it's I have this problem and the goal is to go out there and allow them to really use their mind to come up with a solution because the best is they bring me a solution even if it's wrong they've at least thought through the process and I can now help craft a solution but if they're just giving me a problem well it's like me you know Uh, going and just constantly giving them food, right? They're not going to learn how to find the food or grow the food or make the food, right? Because they're constantly just seeking the answer. And in our life, we have to become problem solvers in our own life. And for us to do that, we have to dissect each thing that's in front of us. And just do it one at a time.


[00:19:31] 
You can't solve all the problems at once, right? If you're about to lose your job, you're in a fight with your wife, you're, you know, you're, um, you're out of shape, and your, your car just broke down. You can't deal with all of them at the same time. So, let's take that off the plate. What's the most urgent thing that needs to happen? Well, I'm on the side of the road right now, and with a flat tire. Okay, that's the problem I need to solve. The rest of it can come after, but if I just face it all at RPM 8, 8, 000, well, my life continues to be out of control. And overwhelmed. And I faced that for so many years, I was constantly out of control until I took back control. Because now the next piece of your problem is to say, okay, what can I control? And what can't I control? And if you can't control them, okay, well, let's change our mindset on those problems, right? Let's change our mindset. But for the ones I can control, let's put them in order of progress of what needs to be tackled right now, what can wait, and then start working one down after the other, and you will get calm in your mind because now you've set an action plan to go out there and just create change in what's happening.


[00:20:30] Dr. Nate Salah
Man, what a, just nuggets right there, brother, just nuggets, the thought, the thought that's coming to my mind as you're sharing this is that. One, expect the unexpected, you know, I think part of the challenge we face in that whole, uh, expression, because most of us have had a fight with our spouse, we've had money problems, we've had a flat tire, we've had some perhaps some employment problems, whether we were an employer, an employee, right? I mean, all these problems are very common to all of us. And the way I tend to frame all this is what was I expecting when we met on the call? You asked me how I was. I said, well, I'm here. I'm alive. Right. I don't, I don't mean that like, you know, like, Oh, I'm here. I'm like, Hey, that's an exciting thing because that means my work's not finished yet. And everything for the day, no matter what happens, I'm still here. I'm still alive. It's a pretty good thing. Right. So that's like, start with the baseline of. I've got a flat tire, but guess what? I'm still alive. So that means that this one, this one challenge I'm facing, I'm not out of the game. I'm still in the game.


[00:21:39]
 I, there's a way that there's a way to work through this. Plus, you know, if you had your day that you could see in like a, a transcript or a movie before you had your day. And you, you saw, oh, wow, you know, at this part of the day, I got a flat tire at this part of the day. My employer was threatening to fire me this part of the day. I, I, we, my spouse and I got into an argument, et cetera, et cetera. Right. And you knew that was coming. You may have a different perspective. You might still still say, oh, well, that's, you know, these are challenges I have to face. It's, you know, it's happening in other words, if you get to replay your day, if you get to relive your day, like the whole groundhog day back thing with Bill Murray, if you got to, if you got to do that, the sting, the sting would, I think, in some ways dissipate because like, okay, well, I expected that to happen. Now, I'm going to deal with it. Maybe I'll deal with it a different way because I've already lived it once, right? I can suit up and say, okay, well, you know, I got the flat tire, but my day ended up okay because I got to hug my spouse and I got to see my kid and I'm still here. And I think, I guess the point I'm making is one, there's a point as we're looking through the, the looking glass of our life and our day one to live in gratitude, live in gratitude that I can, that I can solve this problem and perhaps some things I can't, like you said, I love the, the perspective of there's some things that are in my control, there's some things that are out of my control and whatever's in my control, I'm going to be diligent.


[00:23:07]
 I'm going to be resourceful, I'm going to be responsible, I'm going to knock stuff out. Whatever's out of my control, there's nothing that I can do except for do the best I can with what I can, what I have. And you know what that does, and I know this does it for you, take some of the pressure off. You know, because we think we need to, we think we need to be able to solve every problem, be in control of everything. And again, just the way you worded it, even with your team, whether they be your business team, whether they be your family team, your community team or whoever you're leading, it's not our responsibility to solve every problem. In fact, I always say I don't want people around me who I have to solve the problems for everyone. I want people who solve problems that I didn't know I had. That's who I want around me. That's your A player. That's your game changer. And so when we delegate, we encourage and we step back and say, I trust you. I trust you. That you can help solve this problem. Maybe it's not the first shot out. Maybe they're working on a new project, and you've done it well every single time. My son and I were spackling a wall yesterday. My wife said, Hey, you need to show him how to do that. I said, Yeah, I'm showing him, but I'm showing him by him doing it. He's going to have, and spackling is not easy. If you've ever spackled, you know this, right? It's an art, and it takes patience. It takes discipline. And he's not going to get it right, right away. That's okay. We're going to be in the trenches together. Eventually, he'll be able to figure it out. 


[00:24:32] Jason Yarusi
Yeah, I love that. You know, it's so easy for us to just look at the things in our day and, and, and just really react so quickly. And, you know, one of the best things you can do is just, if something comes across your plate, it's not ideal. You know, it's, it's that, it's that moment of pause, right? That five seconds that you can just take to just let it sink in. And that usually cures almost 95 percent of your reactions because, you know, it's like you get anything, you get a splinter, right? And you treat everything like a splinter, like your leg just got chopped off, right? Where in fact, like, it's just a splinter, just take the splinter out, right? But then we go off, and we just get so angry, we get so upset, we get so overall, and then what happens? Well, you make a bad reaction, and it typically creates this whole circumstance that follows that now you have to go and fix later. You now have to go bring back into control. And so, not to say don't. Get excited, good or bad, but the more that you can control that the other way you're in, right? The lane you're on in terms of just ups and downs, the easier it is for you to go through life, right? Like, you know, your thing you were saying earlier about, you know, just what we can and can't control.


[00:25:37]
 Like the easiest thing to point out there is like the weather, right? How many of you Oh, it's going to rain tomorrow. And all of a sudden, like, you're like, Oh, you know, like, Oh, it's going to be 25 degrees. I'd be like, Oh, you know, like, and it's just whole thing. That's like, it's going to happen one way or the other. Like it's going to, it really opens up a way that you can just take it back. Like I probably. Maybe about 10 years ago. I just stopped looking at the weather I I found out like, you know, like I was living in new jersey then now I live in tennessee and like More milder here and whatever but best thing I ever did like if something catastrophic is going to come up I'm going to get the alert right if there's a tornado warning here I'm going to get alert like randomly snows here barely ever. Well, my kids are out of school. I get the alert right I find out it's going to snow, but me like tracking the weather every day, like 90 percent of the time, the weather changes. It's not ideally how it says. But I've now like made up my mind and many times like we set the expectation of what the outcome is going to come and we set our mind on that, right? So if I do this thing, right, if I go out there and try anything, the result is going to be some cataclysmic event that's going to ruin my life, right? And so we've already made up our mind on the decision of how things are going to go When in fact if we can just go and just look at everything for what it is Like I could take this action and this action can spawn creativity could spawn just something I'm going to learn something, right? Well, your mind opens up to a million new things, and you start to look at yourself as the possibility for outcome instead of just the inability for, for escape, right? 


[00:26:55]
And you do this in your life enough that you just start to just make these little changes. Just take these little steps. You find that you start to break free. And like you said earlier, like it's not the big things. It's the small things like big leaps are hard to do. Like that's why, you know, 92 percent of New Year's resolutions fail. Well, let's, let's ask the question. Well, why? So you haven't worked out in a year, and now you're going to lose 50 pounds in a month. And you're like, okay, I'm on it. Right. First day, you work out three hours. The next day, you're so sore. You can't work out for a week. The next day after that, you go, you know, a week, you try to go work out again. You're like, oh, you get busy. Right. Or you're, or you're tired. It goes flat. Right. Well, and you just give up.


[00:27:31]
 It's because you tried to make this whole thing instead of just saying, okay, you know what? Four times a week, I'm going to go to gym for 15 minutes. Like, okay. It doesn't sound like a lot. But what if you just do that, and then the next week you do that, and the next week you do that, and the next week you do that, what do you, what do you think starts happening in your life, right, like, one, you start to create discipline, that's fantastic, two, you start to create change, because now you've told yourself you're going to do something and you do it, that's the most important thing in anything in our life, is that we commit to something and then we actually do it, we've got ourselves off the hook all the time, that we, we say things today that, that, We should do something, but we say we should, and then we don't do it. And then our mind gets in this layer of that. We actually give ourselves permission to just ultimately put off everything you want to do because tomorrow's okay. Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow we'll make a difference. And you do that enough, and your life goes by. 


[00:28:21] Dr. Nate Salah
Yeah. And eventually, tomorrow doesn't come eventually for every person on this planet. Tomorrow doesn't come at some point. Am I right? Right. That's a, that's a, that's a guarantee. Unless, you know, Jesus comes back sooner. Right. It's a guarantee that some, everyone, is having their last day. Someone is having their last day right now. And it's interesting you bring that up because as you're talking about, I was thinking about this whole 10-year thing. Right. So look at this 10-year thing. I don't look at it like, Oh my goodness, it's 10 years. I look at it day by day. So when I got up this morning and I get, got ready to leave the house. Okay, Nate, don't forget. Yeah. This could be your last 10 years, which means this day is just that important this that you will never get this day back. So how can you live fully this? I love the brave part, right? All men die, right? If you ever live, kind of think, how can you live so fully that it adds to that 10-year march, if you will, in such a way that you look back at this day and say, I lived fully that day. And I know if I'm living fully. I'm probably not going to sweat the small stuff, and granted, there are big things in life, but the majority of them are in fact, small things, right? The car didn't start or the umbrella didn't open, and I got rained on or whatever it is. And it reframes, it reframes in the small things, it reframes the entire trajectory of the day, just, you know, state by day. And my day, for example, today, I had, you know, I came into the office, there were things weren't working.


[00:29:49]
 We have a computer didn't, didn't turn on right and things like that. I'm like, you know. Okay, maybe somebody would get flustered and, and I just told the team, Hey, you know what? You got one monitor instead of two today. All right, guess what? You still got a monitor. And so let's, let's work with that. And, and, and by the way, your energy is contagious, right, Jason? Our energy is contagious, especially as a leader. I'm talking to the leader here. Whether our energy is negative, whether it's positive, whether it's engaging and motivating, whether it's, I look at it like this, you either have energy of mastery or misery, and that is a choice we choose. There's a lot of things you can't choose in life. You've listened to the program. You know, I've said this before, right? One thing you can, it's your attitude, right? I can choose my attitude in the moment, which then sets a model for those around me. And let me tell you, friends. Our kids, I only have one at 17, and they watch, they watch, they listen, they learn. And that meter, that tone, that intonation, that how do you react when you face a moment? That's the model we set. So, so it's up to us, as you had said before you even started, to be self-aware. Like so much of our showing up. Is starting with self awareness, awareness of, okay, what is the, what's my vibe?


[00:31:10]
 What's my energy? And sometimes I think test runs like these are very, you know, sometimes it's a small test run. I had something fall on my foot yesterday and I was limping around the house. I'm like, you know, I still got my toe. All right. And if I didn't, okay, I still got my foot, right? Oh, and if I didn't, right, just go down the list. I still can, I still can see like, this is, this is going back to. The playbook of no matter what happens, the whole, the gratitude, in fact, in fact, even scripture says, you know, be thankful in all things now, not for all things. So some things are pretty rough, right? But that's not what Paul was saying in all things. In other words, in all things, walk in gratitude, because I think that is so much of the great elixir and really what takes that misery and turns it into mastery. 


[00:31:59] Jason Yarusi
Talk about grace and I, I think for gratitude, we, we miss actually getting back to that each day. It's a hard thing, especially if you're feeling in a dark spot or feeling part like we forget to be grateful for the small things we have, right? And because in front of us is usually, you know, whether it be social media or just our, our, our circle, right? There's people who, who are fairly potentially doing better than us or have more to us or seemingly, you know, have something that looks more grandeur than we do. Right? But, but if you just put, okay. Us compared to the majority of the world. We're in a fantastic place in all parts, right? Just education, health, you know, financial ability, right? Anything, right? But we forget to be grateful for that because ultimately we've set in our part, you know, what the standard should be when in fact that's a standard that we've put in our mind or we've heard from somebody else. But the only way to really get back to this true nature of, of what is possible is just reframing your expectations. And then, honestly, making sure your principles online. If you were to say to somebody that potentially knows you or just like someone was watching you for a day, two days, or a week, what would they say?


[00:33:11]
 Your principles are right. Is this a man of his word is a man who, who, desires, you know, To go seek progress, right? Is this a, a man who opened doors for, for other people? Is this a, a person who, who, who basically says we're going to do and then follows up and does it? Or is this a person who really doesn't take advantage of the moment? Is this a, a, a negative person? Is this a person who is greedy, is always trying to get over on others? Like, what is it? Because if our standard and our expectations are one thing, but our principles say another thing, right? And you can do this, right? You want to just make this real. Okay. Have an out-of-body experience, right? Sit here right now. And in the next hour as you're acting, imagine yourself watching yourself, right? Just doing it. What would that person say about you? What would the you outside of you say about yourself? Would it say that you're doing the actions and the steps of the person who wants to have the success in life that you're saying you want to? Or is it going to say, well, you know what? I know you say you want that. You're actually not doing anything. You're not doing any of the steps. You're not going after any of the goals. You're not going after and taking the action. You're not going out there and doing the work. You're not going to prepare yourself.


[00:34:24] 
You're not going to, uh, make yourself better anyway. And if that's the truth, then we have to reframe our expectations. Okay. Then, if you're not going to act accordingly, then, then you can't be surprised if you're not getting the results. But if you want to, to get the results, then we have to start making small changes. You know, they, they say 1 percent improvement a day is not a lot, but if you compound that over a year, 1 percent improvement over the course of a year is 3,800 percent of improvement. 


[00:34:48] Dr. Nate Salah
Huge. Yeah, and it changes everything. It changes everything over time. It changes you. And that's the thing about the incremental change and moving, starting with discipline. Well, actually starting with motivation, really getting motivated and then that turning that into discipline. Eventually, it turns into habits, right? And we, we have new habits formed through that. And the change in us, what is our change? Our change is really aiming for greatness. What does greatness look like? Greatness looks like the ability to be whole. To be complete, to be mature in our journey as leaders, as servant leaders, if you will, and that's really the aiming. And so how do we do that? We do that through repetition, through practice, through the little things day by day by day. And we walk and see that change. And sometimes, and it's different for each of us. I love the, the, the way to, to analyze that, to the out of body experience, to take some inventory of how, you know, how we. Perceive ourselves because again, that's back to self awareness and it's not designed to, for self condemnation, it's self evaluation and self evaluation is essential for getting feedback, you know, giving, and here, get feedback from others too, especially if you're married, there's a lot of us, there's no better.


[00:36:05]
 There's no better honest person in a lot of ways than your spouse, right? Your, your friends, your coworkers, everybody might think you're all, you're, you're the best thing since sliced bread. But your spouse gets ahold of you like, well, you know, I know you, I know you. And so solicit, um, honest feedback to say, Hey, you know what? There's areas I want to grow in. I want to be the best version of myself. I can be for you, for our family, for our community, for, for myself, for life. And. I want to give you permission to share with me how you see me and how you would love to see me. It's a good place. If you can be there, it's truly not.


[00:36:42] Jason Yarusi
The goal is not to go and beat yourself down for where you are. The goal is to set a starting line. Because you have to know exactly where you are right now, because that's where the plan starts, right? The plan can start on the person that you want to be a year from now, five years from now, or just, or a month from now, right? The person has to start with where you are right now. So to be self-aware of how you're showing up, you could truly. Own it. You can say, okay, I am not that person right now. I am showing up, you know, negative. I'm showing up pessimistic. I'm showing up doubtful. I'm showing up in these ways. And so the person I want to be shows up in these different ways. This person is energetic, right? Creative, you know, thought provoking, you know, affirmative. Okay. So what is that my starting line is right now? Like, what is this step to get from A to B? And then, you can start putting in the work to start building yourself into the person you truly deserve to be. 


[00:37:33] Dr. Nate Salah
Yeah, absolutely. Like, for example, I, let's talk about road rage. So there's a soft spot, soft spot in so many people's hearts when it comes to what, if they've gotten cut off or if somebody sped by them or, you know, they were called the proverbial number one for whatever reason on the, on the road or highway. And I've, gamify it in a way, if you will, and say, you know, they may be having a bad day. Or they might be somebody just speeds by, maybe they, maybe they've got, uh, maybe they had something and, uh, they really got to get to the bathroom, you know, I don't know any, anyone now, of course, it could be none of that. What I'm doing is I'm changing the narrative. The narrative that I tell myself that causes me angst, causes me anxiety, causes me to be, I used to be very cynical, and I'm still working on that. Still working, still work in progress. I used to have such great cynicism. I'm like, Nate, you gotta change that. You gotta, you know what, walk in less cynicism and more, instead of the cynic, walk in the person who is, who's affirming instead of cynical. And that's not something that happens overnight. Right, Jason? It happens step by step. Day by day, moment by moment, sometimes you take two steps forward, sometimes you take one step back, but you keep moving forward in how you show up. And for me, now I still, you know, there's still some of that, and it's just more of like tongue in cheek and jokes. However, now I've changed. I've learned to be more affirming, less about, oh, yeah, you know, you should have known better. Right? And say, well. I get it. That situation didn't go the way you expected. Let's talk about how, uh, the next time it happens. Maybe there's a way we can, we can mitigate that. Right. It's a much different conversation. And it's a much different posture as a human being. 


[00:39:30] Jason Yarusi
It's so much easier when you don't take everything to, to max, right? It's so much easier when we don't just go over the edge at every little point. Like the road rage is a really funny thing because like, they could be rushing to the hospital, right? Something like there, there's a hundred different things that could have happened in that moment that, that are outside your control. And. It happens, right? You know, it happens. I've cut people off by accident before, too. Right? And I get like, I'm not perfect either. And, and I, I get to the point that when we take that out, we just get back to reality and just get back to say, okay, what can I control? What can't I control? And it's a point of maturity too.


[00:40:01] Dr. Nate Salah
I think it's a point of maturity when you can, let's just use that road rage. Somebody, you know, gets in front of you and, and maybe they're angry because you, maybe you've cut them off. Like, you know, you're having a bad day, and maybe I contributed to that. And, you know, you walk in a little bit of humility; that doesn't mean that you're a pushover, means people could walk all over you. I think that's the other thing is that we're back to the fear as we started this conversation. If you're secure, if I'm secure in myself, what do I have to be afraid of? You know what? It's possible. It's possible I did something. Let me just do some self-analysis. And if I didn't, and you think I did, it's still okay. I'm secure enough in myself, so I'm not worried that you've offended me. I'm okay. It's okay, it's okay to be okay, no matter who says what to you, right? Because when I was young, Jason, I let people push my buttons.


[00:40:56] 
I was a hothead. I ran at that 8,000 RPMs, not only in my car, but in my life. When I was a teenager, I was always getting into fights. In high school and the, the guys, they know how to press my button, especially like guys on the sports teams we played on and I'm like, you know what, as soon as we get out of this class, we're going to the hallway and we're going to fight. And at some point, at some point, a light bulb went off and say, Nate, they're just controlling your behavior. They're having fun watching you like a puppet. And I made a decision. Stop, stop, stop letting all of your circumstances and challenges control your mood. Start to be secure in yourself. And have the, I love the way you put it- just take time, you know, that five seconds or 10 seconds or 10 minutes or 20 minutes or half a day or a whole day, sometimes it's a whole day. You know, if you ever have an email that you got and you're like, Oh, I'm going to respond, and I'm gonna let them have it. Yep. I'm going to get them, but yeah, I'm gonna get them back. And then the next day you're like, you know, boy, if I probably would have answered that a little differently. Had I had been in a different frame of mind and that's, we're talking about give yourself the permission to just slow it down a bit. 


[00:42:12] Jason Yarusi
Most important thing you said there was I made a decision, and that's usually what we forget we have within our power. Because all of us have the decision to be able to go and choose to act in a different way. And if we can get out of the way of just feeling like we're compelled or controlled or all those parts, we can get back to it. Right now, I can decide to just not do that. Simple as that. 


[00:42:35] Dr. Nate Salah
It is that simple. And there's so much more. You've got a whole system program. We'll make sure we'll put it into our show notes. There's so much, there's so much, so much, so much. We're just like scratching the surface on, on your, how you help people. Isn't it great they see, Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. So, but however, before, before we wrap up on, on this, on this part, we'll probably love to have you back actually. And maybe we'll keep rapping about your program. I every so often, I have the opportunity to ask a question at the end of the end of the show, and it's about the journey we're talking about this journey of life. And eventually, you'll be at the end of it, like myself at the, we call it the great summit, right? The, the, be able to see the, all the people, who you were able to, interact with and bless through your life experiences and through your wisdom and what you've learned. There's one thing you would like others to have said about Jason at the end of this great summit journey, what would it be?


[00:43:37] Jason Yarusi
Easiest most thing to come to far is that, Jason was always willing to give a helping hand. 


[00:43:43] Dr. Nate Salah
Well, my friend, you are on your way. Thank you for being here, Jason. Thank you for having me. Well, my friend, thank you for joining me on this episode of A Call to Leadership. If you've been listening, you've probably heard me talk about our accounting and advisory business. And this show was actually born out of that business, those relationships. I found that entrepreneurs and professionals were missing aspects of their leadership that fed into their bottom line and help their businesses be successful. So I'm so thankful that I've had all those years in that area to feed into this. And the truth is that so many people still need accounting and advisory help, and they don't know where to go. If you're in that place where you feel, Oh my goodness, my tax person or my accountant, I can't find them. Or maybe the service wasn't up to my expectations. Do not despair. I'll leave how you can find us in the show notes. And one of my team members can do some discovery and help you along your journey. You're not alone, my friend. You always have help. I'm Dr. Nate Salah. Can't wait to see you on the next show of A Call to Leadership.

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