A Call To Leadership

EP278: Don't Settle for Success with Reuben Arcaya

• Dr. Nate Salah

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Hitting rock bottom can either break you or build you into someone stronger. This episode follows the powerful journey of Reuben Arcaya as he shares how business failure, personal trials, and unwavering faith shaped the leader he is today. Through discipline, purpose, and a deep commitment to family, Reuben rebuilt not just a business but a life of lasting impact. It is more than a comeback story. Tune in for a blueprint on resilience, growth, and grounded leadership.

Key Takeaways To Listen For

  • Why hitting rock bottom built the strongest foundation
  • How Reuben outworked his way past impostor syndrome
  • The deep values guiding Reuben’s leadership and fatherhood
  • Why action, not perfection, is the catalyst for real change
  • How to embrace discomfort and fight for your purpose


About Reuben Arcaya
Reuben is a battle-tested entrepreneur and operator with decades of experience building teams, navigating business turbulence, and leading with resilience. Known for his relentless work ethic, laser focus, and deep commitment to faith and family, Reuben built his career from humble beginnings. He did it without a formal education, relying instead on unshakable determination. Today, he channels that experience into mentoring others and redefining what success truly means.

 
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[00:00:00] Dr. Nate Salah
If you've ever climbed that ladder of success, reach the top only to realize that you have another question at heart. Is this it? Is this all there is? Well, I've asked that question myself, and that sent me on a journey of faith. I've invited a dear friend, longtime friend, amazing human being, Reuben Arcaya on the show, and we're gonna unpack it. We're gonna unpack the journey. Faith, family. And man, I'm Dr. Nate Salah, and this is A Call to Leadership. Reuben. What's up, Nate? What's up, man? How are you? Thanks for being here.


[00:00:39] Reuben Arcaya
Appreciate it. Thanks for having me, 


[00:00:42] Dr. Nate Salah
Bro, do you remember when we met back, I guess, what was it, like 2011 during the clear wire days?


[00:00:48] Reuben Arcaya
I do. I remember our first meeting in Vegas and we had dinner at, uh. Texas Day, Brazil. Dang. You remember that? Yeah. And remember you put Sam up at the circus Manor? yeah, circus. 


[00:01:00] Dr. Nate Salah
The circus. Yeah. Well, money was tight back then. A little bit. Yeah. I, yeah, humble beginnings. I didn't think it was gonna be that bad. But, you know, it's interesting how we met because it, if you listen to the podcast, I haven't talked about it a whole lot, but from time to time, I'll bring up these, this, this clear wire days. I think it's important to kind of share a little of the context around that. We were. All, master agents for this new technology. Back in the day, it was 4G, right? 4G wifi. Wow. Exciting, right? Exciting. But what was different about it? It was, it was wireless. And that was cool because back then you had to call the cable company or whoever to come to your house, and it was like, what, four hour window and all this other stuff. So we were, we were on the revolutionary side of that, right? So we were all rocking. Now we didn't know you, you were a master agent in Las Vegas. We were a master agent in St. Louis on Wired. And you experienced the same challenges we were experiencing. Right? What were some of those challenges you were facing? 


[00:02:02] Reuben Arcaya
Oh, yeah. You know what, it was, it was definitely a challenging time. You know, you know, it, the, Hey, let's, partner with this mysterious master agent over in the Midwest and let's join forces. Mm-hmm. And, you know, hopefully. We can trust each other enough to, partner with each other and, combine resources and talent to Yeah. You know, grow your business together. Right? Yeah. Yeah. That's, and over one dinner decides to do business together and… 


[00:02:29] Dr. Nate Salah
Yeah, yeah. No doubt. We were doing the same thing. We were thinking we. Who are these guys? Well, just to back up a couple steps, we clear Clearwire was changing their model because, at first it was, it was amazing because we had lots of sales, and then we had the, the biggest issue that came up was in home coverage. So of course you, you buy this box and you plug it in and you have wifi anywhere you want. Which is great problem is if you're on one side of your house or other side of the house, you may have different levels of coverage, right? Right. So generally what people do is they just send stuff back if they don't like it, especially if it's new tech, like, oh, this stuff doesn't work, I'm gonna send it back. Well, then you have churn. Now churn. When I first, signed on, when we signed on with Clearwire, I looked at all of their records and saw about a 3% churn rate. I said, oh, 3% is not bad. It's acceptable. Well, after the launch and all of this product return, we were looking at about 30 to 33% churn. Now, Reuben, you and I are both numbers guys.


[00:03:38] Reuben Arcaya
Horrendous, right? 


[00:03:40] Dr. Nate Salah
That's it's a good way to go. Big. Yeah. Quickly. And I remember getting a negative $15,000 commission check, and I, so I told Sam, I was like, bro, this is not sustainable. Right? You don't have to have a, an accounting degree to realize that it wasn't sustainable. So then Clearwire says, okay, we know that we're having these problems. We're gonna, we've got this run before we close all of our stores. And we, we, we, they had a plan to sell the sprint essentially. So we had a very short window. And I wanna say, I wanna say it was like, gosh, 87 days, something crazy. Like it was a small window. And they're like, oh, by the way, so here's what happened. So at first you had a million dollars of marketing per city they were launching. They made that go away. They had spiffs, they were giving you for, your rent, for going new markets that went away. They had pretty amazing commission structures that they cut down, which went away. And, of course, then you had the high turn.


[00:04:47]
 So you had like a four, the four horsemen of the apocalypse essentially for this. So then we had the opportunity to partner with another master agent. Well, if you partner with another master agent. You can possibly reach the top tier of the commission and we'll let you run all of our stores. You pay the people, all of our inline stores, right? You remember all that? So then they tell us. So there's this Vegas group that we're thinking that you'd be great to partner with 'cause you're both, you know, you guys both knock it outta the park and you, you got your business together. And I'm like, okay, well what are their names? I'm like, well, one guy's last name is Archia, another's Luisa, you know, another and you got a Marlow Castillo. I'm like. Are these, are these mobsters? Are these, they're from Vegas? Are these Yeah. Are, are these, are these gangsters? These are all gangster names. Yeah. 


[00:05:40] Dr. Nate Salah
Yeah. That's how we came into it, you know? 


[00:05:44] Reuben Arcaya
Yeah, yeah. But hey, you know, it's a blessing, right? Yeah. I mean, you look at it 15 years later and here we are.


[00:05:48] Dr. Nate Salah
No, a hundred percent. And I even when we first met, maybe told Sam, I said. Amazing guys. I don't know how the future will hold, but as long as we stick together somehow or another, well, there's gonna be a lot of great things we can do together. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew that. I knew that from day one. And, and here we are. Absolutely. Here we are.


[00:06:07] Reuben Arcaya
Tell you what it, it was, what an amazing experience it was though, right? You really learn about yourself, a lot, about yourself when you go through those real trying times. Right? It was, it was a great experience for myself. Yeah. you know, you really learn a lot about what you're really made of when you go through those real trying times mm-hmm. In your business life. Mm-hmm. Really difficult, but man, you know what you're made of. When you learn to work through those challenges, you have no choice. Yeah. Yeah. It was amazing. 


[00:06:35] Dr. Nate Salah
It was amazing. And I mean, I had to sell my house. We almost filed bankruptcy. It was, it was a huge change for sure, for us as as a family at the same time. Cause people ask you like, okay, if you had to do it over again, would you do it? And maybe in the moment I'm like, no, no, no, no. I don't wanna do it. But on the other side of it, I'm like, yeah, I'm not scaring anything, I'll tell you that. Right. Yeah, absolutely. It prepares you Sure. Struggle muscles. Yeah. That's the thing. That's the thing about these trials we face and these struggle muscles that we're building. Like would you have the same struggle muscles if you didn't face the trials? No, absolutely not. No, absolutely not. And I wonder how you relatable, you'd be like to people who are getting into entrepreneurship. I had a buddy when I was in school and. I was finishing up my doctorate. He was getting ready to start a business and he said, you know, I've got a, my father-in-law has a business, and he knocked it outta the park, day one. It's like, but I really can't talk to him about it because he knocked it out the park day one.


[00:07:45]
 Sure. It's like, I, I need to talk to somebody who's been in the dirt. Yeah. You know the trials. Yeah. Because that's what most people face, right? Right. Who, who, who hits a grand slam first time out in business and then just rocks. I mean, it's just, it's the rare occurrence. Sure. Most of us are slugging it out, and that's like what makes you, I think, in a lot of ways, real and accessible and, and being able to share in that struggle. Sure. So, so tell us about, tell us about your, in terms, you know, since we're on the subject of struggle muscles and growth through that trial. What do you think some of the biggest takeaways you had were with business? 


[00:08:25] Reuben Arcaya
My biggest takeaway is, I think my, my level of determination. Mm-hmm. Right? I'm five foot seven, but if you measured me with my chip, my shoulder, I'm probably 10 foot tall. Ah, you know? Mm-hmm. I think that's my biggest thing is, is no one's gonna work harder than me. Nobody. And, you know, like I said, my mice. My chip in my shoulder is huge. Everything that I do, my, my determination and my laser focus almost to the point where it becomes like overbearing. When I get focused on something, my level of determination, it's just crazy. It gets overbearing for everybody. That that's how, how bad it gets when I decide that if I want to get something done, it, it just, it, it's, it becomes problemsome for everybody else. That's how bad I want it to, to, to accomplish something sometimes. So I think that's, that was my biggest takeaway when things were so bad at that point in time, I, because you had to, you had to succeed.


[00:09:23]
 And if you didn't, everybody else, you know, I. Failed. And that, that was my biggest takeaway during that point in time. If, if you didn't learn how to make things work, everybody else kind of fell with you. So I, I'd probably say that was probably my biggest acco accomplishment at that point in time. That if you didn't learn to make things work, I mean, you're gonna let a lot of people down at that point. Yeah. you know, that, that was, you know, my biggest takeaway at that, at that point in time. Just learning how to, you know, come out on the other side of the tunnel, and get through the light is, you know. Learning to win with what you own. 'cause if you didn't, you know, a lot of people, you know, your family, your, your business partners, everybody that counts on you was, was going to, you know, feel, you know, the repercussions of you, not, not, not succeeding so.


[00:10:10] Dr. Nate Salah
Man, that's strong. I, I, I tend to think if you were to give me 10 people. And they each had different skill strengths, and one of them had the strength and the skill, if you will, of resilience, which is closely tied to determination and resourcefulness. They're all three of them in the same bucket. So you got one guy who's massively resourceful and you got one guy who has tons of resources. I'm gonna pick the resourceful guy every time. Sure. Seriously. Absolutely. The guy with $10 million or $10 million worth of resourcefulness, I'm gonna pick the resourcefulness guy with $0. 


[00:10:48] Reuben Arcaya
Yeah, absolutely. The guy that knows how to win, the guy that knows how to get things done, regardless of whatever situation he's in, that's, that's the guy that I'm running with, right? The guy that just knows how to make things happen every day, regardless of whatever situation he's in. The guy that just sees the opportunity to make something happen or win with what he has in front of him, that's, that's the guy that you want on your team. 


[00:11:12] Dr. Nate Salah
Yeah. For sure. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. It's a absolutely a team of, of, of guys and gals like that. Those are the doers. That's, that's the unstoppable team. 


[00:11:21] Reuben Arcaya
Yeah. Those are the guys that make it happen every day. 


[00:11:22] Dr. Nate Salah
Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. That's the unstoppable team. So if you're listening and you've got a young person, I love, I love our, our listeners who, perhaps there's kids who are in the backseat while they're listening to the episode and they say, well, you know what, what, as entrepreneurs, you and I have been tried and tested, right? What are some of the most valuable qualities? It's just real simple, you know, determination, resilience, resourcefulness. That's the heart of it. You don't have to be the smartest person. You don't have to have the most money or talent. you just have to that. Now, granted, there's a place for all that, right? But that's not the number one thing we're talking about, number one, right? Then you have other things, of course, that are important too, but that's what separates you because the trials are coming, they're coming, and it's not like next month or next year. Like, they're like this afternoon, like, yeah. You're like, yeah, I'm done with this podcast. I'm not gonna go deal with a trial. 


[00:12:20] Reuben Arcaya
Right, right, right. And they they come all the time. Yeah. You know, and they, they, they come at you different shapes and forms and, you know, you, you just gotta be ready and, yeah. You know, and if you're, if you're not willing and able, and if you're not able to anticipate them, and if you're not willing to make adjustments. You're, you're gonna fail. 


[00:12:39] Dr. Nate Salah
So you have massive discipline in terms of deter being determined when you're, when you're, when you lock on. Right. Laser focus. I, I appreciate that. Sure. I appreciate that. It's almost, it's almost, not only is it in some sense, is it a superpower, but it can be, like you had mentioned, especially in some circles, too much. Right. We can talk about that later. Yeah. Where does that come from? Is that, was that always in youth family? Where does that come from? 


[00:13:06] Reuben Arcaya
You know, I. For me, it comes from, I don't come with an educational background. Right. So that's what I had to work with. So, you know, where some people come from, you know, well, I have an education to fall back on. All I had was hard work. Right. And I come from, a family of people who, of entrepreneurs, you know, they're immigrants. they come from hard work. And your typical immigrant, I. Come from overseas and I built my business and all I did was work 18 hours a day. That's, that's my background. Yeah. and again, you know, I don't have a formal education like most people do. So all I had school hard knocks. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, street smarts. Yeah. You went to school. You went to school. Yeah. So, you know, that's, that's the one thing that I did have is, I proved myself by working next to college educated people, and I outworked them. so that's, that's all I know. And, you know, that's, that's me. Did you grow up in a, tell me a little bit about the home you grew up in. Was it like, but I did grow up around highly educated family members. Mm. And, you know, so I had a lot to prove. You know, and I did that through hard work. 


[00:14:17] Dr. Nate Salah
Were you encouraged to go through higher education? 


[00:14:20] Reuben Arcaya
Oh, absolutely. You know, typical Asian parents, right? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. My dad was a lawyer. You know, my mom was head of nursing in the Philippines, so, yeah, I mean, absolutely. So what was the, like, what was I, come on, we're we're going down this health.


[00:14:35] Dr. Nate Salah
Yeah, we're going down this, we're going down this, this road. Yeah, it's fine. 


[00:14:39] Reuben Arcaya
No, look, when my parents passed, they were very proud of me. Yeah. Yeah. I, I was very successful. Very successful. you know. When they pass, they're very proud of me. you know, I had a lot to talk about, and from what I've accomplished in my business life, you know, even my corporate life, you know, compared to my peers and, you know, their. Where, you know, with, with their educational statuses and where they've accomplished and for what I was able to accomplish in my corporate life, I think I did fairly well. And, you know, that's because I chose the right mentors. I worked hard and, you know, I, I surrounded myself with the right people Yeah. Who helped guide me through those ranks. And, you know, I hit my glass ceiling and there's a point in time where I just didn't wanna be there anymore. Mm-hmm. So I went on my own when my own in a road and decided to do my own thing outside of that. But, you know, it was, yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to get off topic. Um. Yeah, it was, you know, different my family life. 


[00:15:31] Dr. Nate Salah
So, so they, so they encouraged you to go into higher education? As I would understand for sure. From a lawyer. I tried someone in nursing. You gave it, you gave it the old college try, I guess you say. Right. Did it wasn't me. Just wasn't for you. No. Now, now, when you were growing up, tell me about like. Were, were your parents both, working? Were they, were, were your mom at home? Homemaker? What was this like life like, was it No, they worked, they both worked. They, they both were full-time workers. Yep. And siblings. 


[00:15:54] Reuben Arcaya
Yeah. I have a sister, older, older sister. she consider her education, you know, she's typical American. She's Yeah. Higher ed and all that. Yeah. Yeah. She's got her, she went, she went back to school, you know, finished her degree too. she's in it, so. Mm-hmm. but yeah, my parents, you know, highly educated, came to the states, opened their own businesses from restaurants to small businesses. Mm-hmm. I can't say that they had their most, you know, successful businesses, but they've, you know, provided for the family. But, you know, typical small business owners, they worked 16 hours a day and, you know, own their own house. Mm-hmm. You know, they did their thing. They did typical 


[00:16:35] Dr. Nate Salah
American dream, right. Now. Now did you have, what was it, what was the, the spiritual life like at home? Did you guys go to church or Oh, yeah. 


[00:16:43] Reuben Arcaya
They were original founders of, the American Filipino Baptist Church in Portland, Oregon. Original founders? Yeah, original members. Members, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So they helped to, to they helped found plant, that church. Yeah, they did. very religious people. I grew up in a, you know, very religious household. You, did you smile?


[00:17:00] Dr. Nate Salah
Yeah. What was, gimme some examples of what very religious looked like. 


[00:17:06] Reuben Arcaya
Bible thumpers. Yeah. Yeah. It is what it is. Yeah. Yeah. you know, it was, they were very, very, very religious people. They loved their religion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. very strong believers. Yeah. Yes, they were.


[00:17:22] Dr. Nate Salah
So did that have an effect on you growing up in terms of like your moral compass or you thought, well, you know, this is for them. It's not for me. 


[00:17:34] Reuben Arcaya
Yeah. You know, I, I grew up in the church. Mm-hmm. did it have effect on me? Yes. It, it, it did. It wasn't anything negative. It was also positive. you know, I had your typical upbringing in a church, church every Sunday. you know, they did their best in instill, you know, values in, you know, in my life all the way up until I hit my very rebellious, you know, stages in my early teens, late teens, definitely strayed away from the church. I. In my, you know, 14, 15 year, you know, ages and then, you know, off to the race as it was for me at that point. Right. And, you know, definitely had a hard time connecting Yeah. After that and you know, you know where I am right now mm-hmm. Point in time. Yeah. So yeah, here I am. 


[00:18:22] Dr. Nate Salah
Well then you got married. Well how, what, how, how long have you been married? Forever. Forever. Yes. Yes. Married forever. When did, I guess I should say, when did you meet your spouse and where 


[00:18:34] Reuben Arcaya
I, I've known my spouse forever. Yeah. since we're, you know, in our late teens. Okay. I've been married for 22 years-ish. Love my wife. Yeah, my wife forever. yeah. Best thing that's happened to me. Now, she's, she's strong in her faith, right? She is. Yeah, she is. Funny thing is, my wife was, raised a Catholic. I brought my wife to church and now she's the strong Christian, right? Mm-hmm. Raising my kids in the. And the walk with the Lord. You know, my kids are stronger Christians than I am and, you know, I'm very proud of them. so, you know, they're, they're doing their thing and, you know, yeah, yeah. Again, I'm so happy for them that they're finding their way. 


[00:19:18] Dr. Nate Salah
You're, you're, I've been had the blessing to peer into your life with your family and seeing the adoration of, you know, your loved ones for you. It's very touching. it's not something that I see that you've ever tried to force, but just, just providing, right. Providing, for them, not just financially, but providing in many ways. I'd like to talk a little bit about family, because the family of the entrepreneur is a, it's a very interesting, type of family, right? Yeah. Tell me about some of the values that you've, that you've held onto, perhaps from your own upbringing or those who that have maybe, had some. Some alterations as you, as you started becoming a father and a husband? I'm just proud of my kids. Yeah. And my family. That's good, man. That's good. You care about your family deeply, and you love them. That's a, that's a clear, that's no mistake about that. What is it that you desire most for your family? 


[00:20:18] Reuben Arcaya
I want them to be proud of me, you know? that, that's it. I want. Yeah. I want 'em to be proud of me, and I, I want to be aligned with where they are, but I, I'm challenged with wanting to be there myself too. What do you mean? If that makes sense. I, I don't know. I just allowing my safe, my, myself to be aligned with faith. Yeah. I struggle with it. 


[00:20:46] Dr. Nate Salah
Yeah. That's real, because many people do, right? Yeah. You're, you're, you're. You're not alone in that. it's, my son would say when he was young, he'd say, dad, I wish God would just like, just speak to me. I just, I do. Yeah. Come meet me. Yeah. Yeah, I do. And yet there's a, a component that requires that word, faith. Right? There's a component that requires us to believe in what we can't physically see. Or here. And like, even though I don't understand it all, there's gotta be a reason for that. You know, there's gotta be a reason for that. And it's gotta be a good enough reason to go through this process or the journey itself. And sometimes I think it's a, a lot of things that we've, we've turned away from that we need to realign and say, you know what? I'm gonna walk in faith and just go where the road takes me with no preconceived notions, no worries about being wrong, being laughed at or made fun of, or any of that.


[00:22:04]
 Just believe as if, and then take that step and step and step and then look back. Because like a life to me without faith is a, is an empty life. You know, we've had success. Right? Okay. You got more stuff then. What? Right? Yeah. It's like, okay, all right. I'm gonna take this rollercoaster ride or rocket ship, or whatever it is, and, take it where it takes me. I mean, that's why we're here, right? Sure. That's why you're here. As we had a conversation about that, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's like, Hey, there's gotta be more. And so that's, that's the journey, and that's the thing about Jesus. He's like, okay. I think about his disciples, Reuben, and, okay, these guys were with him, and they're like, first thing he says is, is, you know, follow me. That's the first thing he says. He doesn't, by the way, he doesn't show them any miracles, doesn't show 'em any. You know, cool stuff. Like, nothing really like crazy divine. It's like, follow me. They have to take, they have to step out in faith to learn from him, for him to be their teacher, and then he begins to open up things to them that they couldn't have seen had they not followed him.


[00:23:33]
 That's the, that's the key, because in life, if we go this direction, then that direction, we'll never know. We'll never know what we could have experienced. So what Jesus is saying, roll with me, roll with me and I'm gonna show you an experience that you'll have never been able to experience without it. So then he begins to unroll things that like when you read the Bible, you're like, you've seen the story so many times, but like in the moment at the time, if you really truly believe that what was written actually did happen, that's that's the other piece, right? But it's interesting because like some of the stories they're told in the way that you would expect them people to react. Like for example, like Jesus walking on water. Like this is like something that you're like, this is like if you saw somebody walking on water, your jaw will be dropped. I mean, you'd be like, dude, am I seeing things? What is that? Right? Am I hallucinating? And that's what the responses are. And then what does Peter do? Peter, like, he gets outta the boat. So like, okay, he's representative of a certain kind of like faith, and then what happens? Well, he sees Jesus, and then he takes his eyes off of Jesus, and then he sees the waters, and he starts to sink.


[00:24:58]
 And then of course, Jesus, the beauty of it is he, he, he grabs him and he picks him up and takes him to the boat. Whether or not you can look at that story as symbolic. You can look at it as metaphorical. You can look at it as it actually happened. Any way you look at it, there's one truth that is illuminated from that story that is undeniable, that when we are simply looking at all of our challenges and struggles and everything we're facing in the world, we're gonna. We're gonna sink purpose. With purpose. We're gonna maybe sink in terms of our relationships, our relationship with God, our family, our community, our business. But when we keep our eyes focused on Jesus is what we're saying here, like, you know what? I'll be able to walk on water again. It may be a metaphorical water, whatever it might be, but it's the kind of water that I wanna walk on because it's like, man, that's the life I wanna live, and I'm willing to take that risk.


[00:25:59] 
I'm willing to take that risk. To see where the road takes me. Sure. And I think that you, you've made that commitment too. Yeah. Like, you know what, I'm willing to take that risk. Let's see where, let's, let's, let's see where the road takes us. Right. That's a good road to take. Yeah. So you've been, since we opened it up, we've been working together. And you've been on a, you've been, you've been as, as you, as you said, you're a very, determined person. So now you're determined to walk. And that doesn't mean that like a light switch flips, right? That you're suddenly like, oh my goodness, I'm, I'm, I'm holy. I'm highest of course, one of our challenges to be holy, of course, in our community, right? Our G three grow, give, go, and the be holy means to be set apart, right? Be set apart for divine purpose. That's beyond ourselves. Consecrated. Illuminated. And a couple things that we've been working on, I'd love to share it with, with our listener. One thing that you said, Hey, you know, basic stuff like this doesn't have to be like massive shift in our faith.


[00:27:06]
 They're incremental in one area. You're like, Nate, I could use a little more patience. Interesting. The idea of love in the scriptures, first Corinthians is when Paul talks about love, we call the love verse. You hear it all the time. In, in, in, at weddings, is love is patient. And then love is kindness. The very first. The very first. I don't think he did it on, on accident. I think he did it on purpose. Let's talk about, let's talk about that. How pa, how impatient were you before we made, took the challenge to really start having patience as an act of faith? 


[00:27:51] Reuben Arcaya
Oh, I have, I couldn't even give you what the definition of patience is. I mean, you know, my, my wife would constantly have to remind me about having some level of patience and every anything that I, everything I did, you know, from waiting at the traffic light to, you know, waiting on my kid to come out of the house, to drop 'em off at school, to waiting in line at, you know, the grocery store to, you know being respectful enough to, you know, waiting on an old lady backing out of her, you know, parking spot. I mean, just basic everyday life stuff. You, you know what I mean? just I had zero patience for anything, or anyone, or anybody. You know, how I dealt with things in my business life, my personal life, I had zero patience. Everything that I dealt with, I had zero patience. Team members, people that reported to me at work, how I dealt with my family members, at home, my kids, my wife, my, oh God, nobody had got, nobody received any patience from me. Zero. Wow. Everybody that I dealt with had, I had zero patience for. And, and is that because you had an expectation?


[00:29:07]
 I think it's just, it was habitual. Mm-hmm. You know, it just, every, everything that I did, yeah. Was done with some level of purpose. You know what I mean? I think maybe that just carried over from, from my business life, that everything was done with a sense of urgency all the way down to when I go to the grocery store, I run through the grocery store within five minutes. I mean, literally I get my grocery shopping done with a sense of urgency. Everything I def would, everything I did was with a sense of urgency, was with a purpose. it's craziness. Do vacations with a sense of urgency. Mm-hmm. Me, you know what I mean? Yeah. You're an efficient guy. I wouldn't even call it efficient anymore. I mean, it was, you know, you almost lose joy in things too. You know? You don't even stop to enjoy things. Yeah, man, come on. Yeah. You know, I think that's the downside of things too. When you're so locked in on things sometimes that. You lose sight of some of the more important things. yeah. 


[00:30:12] Dr. Nate Salah
You know, that hits man, that hit, that hits me because we're cut from the same cloth when it comes to productivity. And like you said, urgency. And I spent so many years of my life just like getting things done and getting them done quickly. And it's, and then you, and it's like, okay, what am what? Where's like, where's the memories of life? Yeah. You know, when it's all like, oh, okay, check boxes. Okay. Check, check, check, check, check. Got that done. Got that done. Got that done. Oh, vacation. Got that done. 


[00:30:40] Reuben Arcaya
It's like, yeah. Yeah. 


[00:30:43] Dr. Nate Salah
You know, went to the kids' soccer game, check. Got that done. Yeah. Got that done. Got it. All done. Okay. Feel good, but I don't feel good. Yeah. Yeah, because like you said, there's no real joy in it because the, the, what's the memory? Right. The memory isn't, and here's, I think part of it is when the impatience and the, the, the sense of checking boxes and the duty, I think part of the, the rub or the challenge is we don't get to be truly fully present in that moment because our focus. Focus. 


[00:31:19] Reuben Arcaya
Your focus isn't there. Yeah. Yeah. You, you, I, I catch myself, I catch myself doing that too. You're there present, but you're not focused. Yeah. You're, you're not, you're not present. 


[00:31:29] Dr. Nate Salah
Yeah. Because you're focused on the outcome. Yep. The result we're, we're, we are results oriented people. Right? Sure. And there's no ability in that, however, not at the expense of the experience. True. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. So, so that's where, that's where patience comes in because it, it creates space and it holds space to experience with permission because I think that's the part, other part of it, Reuben, is that we don't give ourselves permission to experience the fullness of that presence for whatever it is in our life. Whatever the programming is you talked about, or the habits or the, the patterns. Something in us told us. That we perhaps don't deserve. I don't know what it is, but we're not, we're not in a place where we should accept that level of presence, and that's a lie. Right. You need to live in that presence. Right. Right. At the expense of the outcome. Right. Right. Deep it is. And how's it going? 


[00:32:39] Reuben Arcaya
It's getting better. Yeah. Getting better, for sure, for sure. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, I, I, I catch myself reminding myself, Hey, yeah, slow down. Mm-hmm. Take a minute. Mm-hmm. Two minutes. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. Even as, sit in the car, turn down the music. Mm-hmm. Sit in silence. Yeah. The simple things, it, it makes a difference. 


[00:33:04] Dr. Nate Salah
It does. Absolutely. And you know, it's not just for you, it's for others too. As an educator, as a coach, I, I love the time that we get together. However, I find it also speaks to me too, and I think about those things and those areas that you're, that you're committing to the change, right? The transformation in your life. It doesn't have to be like this massively big thing. It can be, these are small things, but small. A lot of small things become big things, right? They become massive life changes in our own ability to lead effectively. And at the end of the day, the well done good and faithful servant that we desire. And so I was taking my dog out last night and, to, and to go to the bathroom for, she got put up and she's got a DHD like crazy, a d. If even the wind blows, she's like, you know, looking around like, and like, look, I wanna go to bed myself. Come on, you're about to go. Let's get this done. And I think I thought about you. I thought really? And I was like, you know, Reuben's working on patience. Don't you think you should be too? And then I thought, yeah, don't focus on the outcome of I gotta get this dog to use the bathroom. Enjoy. It was an nice evening. The weather was really pretty. There wasn't ice breeze. Like, just chill.


[00:34:35]
 Yeah, just chill Nate. It's gonna be okay. Where does the needle move? Very much at all. If you're out here for four more minutes with your dog. Yeah. Why are you getting like. Just go, you know, and you're like yanking your dog back and forth. So you're getting, it's like, this is ridiculous. Yeah. You're letting, you're letting your, this pattern really rule your life and your moment and, and to your point, steal your joy. Yeah. And it's a choice to make. Yeah. So thanks. Yeah. You helped me last night. No, I did. Thanks, man. Yeah, yeah. Don't be like, UBA. Shut up. 


[00:35:14] Reuben Arcaya
Don't be Mr. Impatient. Yeah. My wife says that all the time. Don't be like your dad. Who tells the kids that? Oh, that's funny. It's awesome. 


[00:35:23] Dr. Nate Salah
Yeah, yeah. No, I, I definitely top of my list to work on. Mm-hmm. Yes. And, and you've been, and, and that's the thing. It's like, okay, nothing happens immediately, but these are processes and they're processes that lead us closer and closer too. That person who we desire to be, right? At the end of the day, we make the choice as leaders, how am I being fashion formed, transformed to the, to the person who, I continually desire in the future, the future me. I look at like, you know, we've talked about this in five years from now, there's gonna be a Reuben. Just like there was a Reuben five years ago and that that Reuben, in five years, that person is going to say, Hey, I'm so glad you did X, Y, and Z to help build me into the person I am in today. So start taking those steps today. Right? That's, that's the commitment. Like, okay, you don't, and that way that person in the, is a better version of you. Sure. It's a simple process. It just takes commitment. Right. And so fortunately for you. You're a pretty disciplined guy, right? If you're not disciplined, if you're listening and you're not disciplined, it's, that's also a habit, right?


[00:36:40]
 That's also a pattern. It's also based on motivation. So I look at it like this. Motivation creates discipline. Discipline creates habits. So once you've identified really what truly motivates me, then that creates a discipline. And then that discipline, once it's executed over a certain number of times or a certain period of times, it just becomes a, a habit for you. Right. I'm right on, I'm on this, this, this meal thing, and I know you've been working on some, some physical health too, right? We've got four pillars in our, our, our community, spiritual, mental, physical, and financial health. And so I've been working a lot on the physical pillar, and I'm in a program that. Is like cuts down on a lot of the junk. And, of course just clean, super clean, but not just eating, sleeping, supplements, all of that. Super, super clean stress levels, walking, all that. And I'm in month two and for me it's not as much getting there, it's staying there. That, that's the thing. I've gotten there so many times in my life. Triathlon, marathon, all that sports, all my life and whatnot. I. It's staying there and I thought about it, this is a six month this's, a six month commitment in this program. It's actually a year, but you, you know, you do six months and then you, you know, you, you, you make some shifts in another six. I was thinking about it, I was like, you know, because it's been said that habits, it takes about 30, 30 days to change a habit.


[00:38:05]
 I was like, you know, maybe it takes a little longer. Right? Yeah, yeah. Maybe there's something to this six months to a year deal because if I'm like locked into something for a year and I'm really a different person, like after that year's up, sure. So that's, that's I guess what I'm speaking to about this whole idea. If you're listening and you're like, I don't have that, we'll put a plan together and stick to the plan for that year and watch transformation in your life, right? Yeah. Yeah. Right. What advice would you give someone that's like in that space? Because there's a lot of people that are like, oh, I wish I was like, you guys. More discipline, more determined. Wow. And you've got a pretty big enterprise. I'm sure you have people come and go who are like, oh.


[00:38:49] Reuben Arcaya
You know, best advice I can give somebody is sometimes you just gotta go out and do Mm. You know, waiting around and just hoping. Sometimes you just have to put yourself in a situation where you just have to do something. Sometimes a lot of people don't figure it out, and so they're actually forced into a situation where they have to make something happen. And a lot of times they don't figure that out until they're physically in a situation where they have to do something for themselves. Mm-hmm. and you know, a lot of times, you know, they, they don't really figure it out until they're physically in a, in that situation where they're forced to do something. Right. Yeah. so, and then that's unfortunate or they don't figure that out until they're in that situation where they've, they have to make something happen for themselves. Right. So. My best advice is if you really want to figure it out, if you know you have to just go out and do something for yourself. Yeah. one way or another. some level of change. I believe that if you try to make some level of change for yourself, you're gonna have some level of elevation. one way or another. that is kind of the best advice that I can give you. Yeah. If you were trying to make some level of change, try to do something. Yeah. 'cause. 


[00:40:06] Dr. Nate Salah
Zero is still zero, bro. Huge little, you know, you think that that advice is, that's gold because some people just don't even step out and do Yeah. Right. Like step out because then you will find what motivates you. You'll find what you're determined for. You'll find it if you continue to search and, and, and really the first step is getting out of bed. Yeah. Right. Getting, you know, shutting down the CPU and actually doing, or whatever it might be. Or maybe it's on the CPU, doesn't matter. The point is, is experience it. 


[00:40:32] Reuben Arcaya
Yeah. Try something. Try something. Yeah. Because you know, at our worst situation, you know, we talk about Clearwire, we were really forced into a really bad situation. That's where we found out what we were really made of. 'cause we were forced into that situation. Right. but like I said, some people never get to that point, so they don't know. Right. But, I believe that if some people, just like my own personal faith. You try to make some level of change, something is gonna happen, good or bad, right? You're gonna figure something out. But if you don't attempt something, nothing's gonna happen. Yeah. I mean that, again, that's just some level of basis of change for yourself. Mm-hmm. Try something different. 


[00:41:12] Dr. Nate Salah
Well, I applaud you for recommitting and reconnecting with your faith, and I applaud you for sharing about this idea and I, I, I, I love it. I love the saying, you know, battleships are safe in the harbor. Sure. But that's not what they were made for. That's, that's what they're made for.


[00:41:25] Reuben Arcaya
Right? No, yeah. Get out there and start some level to fight for yourself. 


[00:41:28] Dr. Nate Salah
That's right. 


[00:41:29] Reuben Arcaya
I love it. Thanks for being here, man. No, I appreciate it. Thanks for having me. I have you back. Let's hope so. 


[00:41:36] Dr. Nate Salah
Well, my friend, I am so thrilled that you joined me on this episode of A Call to Leadership, and before you go to the next episode, especially if you're binge-listing, take a moment. I would love to get your honest. Review right here on your screen. Your feedback is so important. It helps the podcast. It encourages me, and it helps me. It helps me to give you more and more and more value. So, I can't wait to read your review. I can't wait to be with you on the next episode. I'm Dr. Nate Salah. This is A Call to Leadership.

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