How to make the right choices & decisions

Are you struggling with making the "right" choice or decision in your life, career or relationships?

 We've all been there. 

In today's episode, I share empowering approaches to decision-making that have transformed my coaching and consulting client's lives.

All shared from a self love lens 

My hope is that one of these tools resonates with you and positively transforms your life! 

Want to connect? Find me on theblueprintbyjz.com or Instagram

Have a question or topic request? I love answering your burning questions and discussing what you're passionate about. Think of me as your "down to talk about anything" in-house executive coach.

Send all questions and topic requests to hello@theblueprintbyjz.com

Transcript

Jessie Anne Zayas: 0:00

Hello Hello and welcome. This is Jesse and Silas with the self love stories podcast. And I'm so excited to be talking to y'all today about how to make choices, how to make decisions, and how to make the quote unquote, right ones for you. So this is gonna be a short and sweet one. Let's go ahead and dive. In. So today we're gonna be talking about how to make the best choices and the best decisions for yourself. And the reason I'm bringing it this into the space is because it's actually come up a lot recently with a lot of my coaching clients, and even in a lot of my consulting clients as well. And it's always around this, well, what's the best choice? What's the best decision? And how will I know I'm making the best choice and best decision? It's such a good question, right? Because I think a lot of times, we put so much emphasis into choices and decisions in our life, depending how small and grand they are. But the one thing I want to invite you in the one thing that I want to really frame up here, as we dive into this conversation is there are no right and wrong choices. And what I mean by that is as we continue to live right? We ended up realizing a quote unquote, wrong choice ended up becoming a gift. What do I mean by that a gift of a lesson, a gift of something that we do want that we don't want that we don't want to happen again, a gift of knowledge, a gift of innovation, a gift of creativity. So even it quote unquote, is something bad happened from that quote, unquote, choice or decision you made? It actually ends up being a gift in some kind of way. Right? It taught you something it grew, you made you more resilient, opened up your heart, made you realize the power of vulnerability or courage or speaking up. So I just want to pause there and just really ground yourself on there are no right or wrong choices. There are no right or wrong decisions. Now, I invite you to look at it from this place. What's the most empowering choice for you? What's the most empowering decision for you? Is this choice aligned with your values? Is this decision aligned with your values? And I think you can even feel the energy change in those in the way that we just shifted that question. Versus Is this the right choice? For me? Is this an empowering choice for me? Is this the right decision for me is this decision in alignment with my values? My hope is that it feels way more expansive, and that it connects more to your being. So what I mean by that, which gets me into the second really important thing about making choices, and now that we're no longer saying right and wrong. Let's say choices and decisions in alignment with you are choices and decisions that are empowering for you. And this is where I see kind of the hang up with my clients is if they need to, quote unquote, anchor it on something that's empowering or their values. This is where we talk about how one of the biggest pillars of self love is self discovery is knowing yourself. It's continuing to date yourself to because remember, y'all we're always growing, we're always evolving. So it's constantly having that finger on the pulse of what are your values at this moment of your life. And checking in on what decisions and choices you've made that have felt empowering in ones that you've made that have felt disempowering. And once you check in with yourself, that should give you more data, insight, understanding color texture, around what is a decision or choice that's in alignment for you. That is anchored on your values that is empowering for you versus disempowering. And I think a lot of times we're so in our heads with decisions that we don't check in with body. We don't say the question out loud or the decision, we're making out loud and really let that vibrate? How does that feel in my body? Does it just make me very anxious? Did all of a sudden my throat closed that, for example, right? Like really check in where you're feeling this? Or is this burning sensation of excitement? Or passion? Right? So really checking in with body when you're making these decisions as well and see, do I feel empowered? I feel disempowered. Right? Does does this really align with where I see myself in 510 15 years from now? Because again, too, sometimes when we're in the weeds of decision making, to pull ourselves out of it, it's kind of nice to look at that macro view. And to kind of see where you want to be in will this choice? Will this decision help you get there? Is it a step towards the direction you want to go towards the path you want to take? And going back to the empowering versus disempowering. I think this is really important. Because at the end of the day, these are your choices. These are your decisions. And I think going back to that we get really into our head, I think we also solicit a lot of advice for making decisions and choices. And I just want to invite you to look at that too. And by the way, when I say this, I don't mean that it's, quote unquote, bad to ask for advice or support or a sounding board. But just remember, before you do that, connect with yourself. First, be grounded either in your knowing or the things that you might be a little unsure about. Because when we go to solicit advice, or ask for feedback, remember, the person that's giving that advice or feedback back has their own stories, their own beliefs, their own saboteurs, their own comfort zone, and what's familiar for them versus what's edgy for them. And so, at the end of the day, choices and decisions are going to be for us and our lives, right? And to make sure that we're not giving away our power to others, to help us decide what's best for us. So again, leaning on friends leaning on family, that you have an empowered relationship with two in which I should also preface that if the relationship is disempowering, I would also question why you're asking this person, this individual, this community. So when we do reach out to our community, that's an empowering community to help us navigate choices and decisions. It's really important to know that at the end of the day, this is going to be your choice, your decision. So remove all the shoulds the beliefs, the judgments, the external dialogue that you may or may not be hearing, and also removing yourself from the stories and beliefs as well. So if you see yourself kind of struggling to make a decision, some of the questions that I would suggest, to bring into your space to kind of help you sort through this decision choice making process is one. Where are you choosing from? Are you choosing from an empowered place? Are you choosing from a disempowered place? To? What are your values? And does this choice? Does this decision aligned to your values? Three, what's your vision? Where do you want to be in a year or two 510 years? Does this decision and choice help you create that life that you want to build for yourself? Four, are there any limiting beliefs or limiting stories that I'm telling myself that's making this choice and decision quote, unquote, more complicated, more confusing? Right, that's the mental chatter that I was referencing to earlier. Right. And sometimes when you start bringing other people into those conversations, their beliefs, their stories, their mental chatter starts combining with yours. Which leads me to my last point, right, asking yourself if I still need help and support, who in my who in my community will help me discover this for myself. Where I feel empowered, because that's all it is. It's just discovering for yourself. And it's so helpful, sometimes talking decisions and choices out with other people, right? Because even sometimes their advice or feedback or the things that they say you're like, oh, no, that's not what I want. Right? Like you even hear like, oh, no, no, no, like, actually, that's not what I want. And this is what I I want, it absolutely gives you more clarity. And sometimes a lot of people need that soundboard. My only invitation here is to also not to put on other people's beliefs and stories and, you know, give your power completely to somebody else's beliefs on what you should and shouldn't do. And again that day, or even cringe saying the shit word, right? So I hope that really helps you navigate some decision making. And I want to leave you because this wouldn't be Jesse and Science Podcast, leave you some more. Some more of that fun woowoo ways to do some self discovery and decision making. So you have some of the quote unquote, practical ways. I'm realizing I said, quote unquote, a lot during this podcast, but um, but what I I believe, but I believe that self discovery is so important. And a lot of times when you're in the mud right thick in the mud of light, life choices, relationship choices, career choices, business choices, I mean, all of the choices, right? Like, it's like, how do I know something's empowering? How do I feel it in my gut? How do I feel it in my body? How do I feel it? You know, a full body? Yes. Because you know, you hear people talking about, oh, I had a full body, yes, or my gut told me as. And so just remember, again, through societal cultural conditioning, we've become very, we have to make it make sense in our mind, right. And we've disconnected from different tools like gut intuition, body intuition, like really feeling things as well. So a way to kind of tap into that feeling that intuition that gut feeling that full body is another way for you to have more data and insight, if a decision is in alignment, or choice is in alignment with you are two modalities. One, from the human design perspective, if you look at your human design chart, you will see your authority and that's the best way to quote unquote, make decisions. So for example, I'm an emotional authority. There is no truth in the now which when I first heard that, I was like, Oh, are you freaking kidding me? So actually, what's what's in alignment with me from a human design perspective? So write out my emotional wave. If I'm in a high weight, Tom neutral, if I'm in a low, we tell him neutral? Always ask the person Hey, this is great. Thank you so much. Can you give me a day to think about it, or two days to think about it? And lastly, to really check in with yourself, like, does this still feel good after me thinking, thinking through this feeling through this? Does this still feel like a good decision? And I really have to check in with body? The biggest kicker with me is it's not 100% Yes, or 100%? No, it's like a 9080, sometimes 70% Yes or no. But again, going back to there are no right or wrong. This is all just part of life, and testing and trying and playing and, you know, going on adventures, figuring it out, right. But that really helped and supported me because it also, it also helped me break down a belief that I had about making quick decisions, and that I had to be really decisive. And I had to be really in the moment when I needed to make decisions, especially important decisions. And what this new insight gave me was a way for me to experiment and to start creating more space when I was going into decision making and choice making for myself, which was very empowering for me to give myself that space and create that space and allow, allow myself to feel and to really think through these choices and decisions. Because I discovered through human design that I had this emotional authority, I actually feel so much more in flow with my decision making. So again, with all modalities again, going back to not giving your power to other things, right. So I know I shared earlier in the podcast on giving your power to other people when you're making decisions and choices. You know, summerly not doing that with modalities, right? Doing that with human design or astrology or anagram stuff, right? So I share that because again, it goes back to just another way that you could practice self discovery and practice, instinct and intuition. And does that connect with me? Does that feel empowering? Does that align with me? Right? So you start knowing yourself more by being able to kind of, you know, use these tools as experiments, right. So another thing too, that I love to use from a fun little esoteric thing as well, is New Moon and full moon All right, so new moons all about new beginnings, new things, new choices, full moons usually about purging, cleansing resetting. So usually I look at the moon cycle and see where I'm at as well, because I think that really helps me in my decision making because what I've found is during full moon, I'm actually a little bit more clouded in my decision making, which gives me more compassion, which gives me more understanding, which gives me more ease and pause to say, okay, hey, maybe I need a little bit more time during this season, if you will, or during this cycle. And then during the new moon, I don't know about y'all, but I have so much like clarity and insight and downloads. So, you know, I kind of tried to, you know, if I can navigate my decision making during that time, and, and, coincidentally, my cycle syncs up with that. So usually, I am starting around the full moon. And again, with my experience in checking with body, you know, I really don't like to make decisions around that time for myself, I really need to be more nourishing myself taking care of myself and writing my emotional wave, which is always fun, too. So those are the things that have really helped me make the quote unquote, American, go get it and quote unquote, best decisions and best choices in my life. And the biggest thing I heard you, I hope you heard from all of this is, take time to date yourself to learn yourself, this is a journey, this is not a destination. I hope I provided you some tools like values is empowering, disempowering, even using some of those question prompts to help you make that most aligned choice or most empowering choice for yourself. And last but not least, have some fun, dig into, look, you know, look into your own cycle, right? Look into how you feel during the new moon and how you feel during the full moon and check out your human design chart, check out your authority. You know, check out how to test that out for yourself. You know, maybe maybe you are, you know, splenic and you feel that instinct immediately, right? Maybe your sacral and feel it in your gut which is so cool, right? So have fun. Don't take it too seriously. There's no good or bad choices. It'll all be a gift at the end. So all the best of luck with your choice and your decision making. You got this. You're amazing. You will figure it out. You are an empowered human being and I invite you to get really clear on your values if you are not. This is so important y'all so important. What do you value the most and we can do a fun little more deep dive into that in a nother selfless stories episode but sending all so much love. And goodbye until next time