Have you integrated your New Year's Resolutions?

First, can we rebrand New Year's Resolutions to New Year's Intentions? I invite you to look up the meaning of 'resolution' and 'intention'.

Please let me know  which one feels more expansive for you :) DM or email, I'm truly curious!  

Today's episode is about the important process of integration. The step that comes after awareness and before action. The process of integration creates empowering transformation. 

Not just a quick fix or bandaid.  

I'll share some practical integration tools that can shift limiting beliefs, alchemize empowering action and rewire neural pathways.

Links to mentions on episode: 

• Nadia Gabrielle: Projectors Invited & Service Design School 

Want to connect? Find me on theblueprintbyjz.com or Instagram

Have a question or topic request? I love answering your burning questions and discussing what you're passionate about. Think of me as your "down to talk about anything" in-house executive coach.

Send all questions and topic requests to hello@theblueprintbyjz.com

Transcript

Jessie Anne Zayas: 0:01

Hello and welcome. This is Jesse and syas with self love stories. Happy, Happy New Year, y'all. Oh my goodness 2024 numerology, it is the number eight, which number eight represents infinity, that infinite spiral. So I think it's beautiful level said. So we're talking about integration today. And as a loving reminder, before I even start with anything that even take a deep breath of this, like, Let's all say it together, let's all together there is no destination, the journey is the reward. Look at that in terms of spiral. In terms of infinity, it will continue to go, the journey will continue to go in through that journey. There'll be beautiful milestones, right that I think sometimes we consider these destination points. But as we know, life still moves on, we still move on, there's still a yearning, there's still a calling for growth, for movement. So all that to say, you don't need to be anything, anywhere. Right now, other than here, and right now, you are not late, you're not behind, you haven't screwed up, you haven't messed up none of that. You're exactly where you need to be. And I share this because I don't know about y'all. But usually in the new year and past life, I would have the best intentions, you know, starting from December to be like, Okay, I'm gonna you know, I'm going to get prepped right for the new year for the new year. And this is what I want. And this is what I want to create. And these are the new shifts that I want to create in my life. And energetically, that just felt very heavy for me too, because there's a lot going on in December and again in past life and current life I work in hospitality entertainment a lot of times and you know, holiday seasons is the busy season said it is going. So again, there, there was a lot of energy happening around me during the holiday season. So feeling already rushed and pushed to figure this out. And I don't know about you, but it never felt really empowering to me, I felt like I was always rushing to the new intention, I was rushing into the new year or again, you know, joking around like, I can't believe it's already, you know, fill in the blank. So, you know, I want to set us into energetically this time, which is winter rate. And if you remember the winter solstice was actually a few weeks back in December. And, you know, again, I don't know about y'all, but already from Thanksgiving. So especially culturally, here in the United States, a lot of people practice Thanksgiving or national indigenous peoples day. And during that time, energetically to the New Year, things are just going right it's holiday season, there's holiday parties going on. You know, a lot of people subscribe to the buying a presence and shopping. And so there's already all this energetic, I'm going to call it noise for lack of a better expression. It's movement, it's going, we're being sold to we're, we're saying here's this new gadget, here's this new thing, here's Black Friday, here's this deal, here's this discount. So again, there's energetically a lot going on. And so then we like push through the birth canal into the new year, it's like pop out, it's like alright, now be this new you this, this version of you that you want it and it's like didn't even have time to even think about that to even level set with what is it that I actually want to create in the new year. So again, let's not subscribe to these arbitrary dates, let's not subscribe to culturally conditionally, what we've been told that we need to do and there's a certain timeframe for that. And we're either you know, on time or we're not on time. Let's try to remove that conditioning for a moment. And again, setting into this winter, you know, we are in winter, January is winter. And if you look out out to nature, which I love to do, because I feel like it's a very beautiful reflection of what happens in our own internal bodies and our own internal worlds. So in winter when we look out right, the trees have removed their leaves. You know, I don't know if you have some house plants or a garden or you walk by a garden, but all the everything's a very slow low growth, even if it is growing, by the way, right, a lot of, for example, you know, succulents or some flowering plants have actually even stopped growing altogether. There any arrest state, however, there's a lot going on still in the root system, right? There's still this slow grow slow renewal, the trees have to shed their leaves to then grow new leaves for the new year. So we are in this winter phase right now of slow growth of renewable and getting ready for that bloom again in spring. So that I almost asked, Why then, are we working energetically against that energy in a way, right? That, that we feel again, and I say we right, I'm kind of more saying, you know, culturally, from our culturally sis, our society, right, that we feel this need that January one, boom, you know, figure it out, start, do your meal, prepping, start eating healthy, so on and so forth. But have you really done what all these plants are doing for a whole season, mind you, right? For whole three months of slowing down, renewing and getting ready and shedding to get ready for that bloom again in spring. So intentionally slowing down in mindfully gearing up is one of the biggest things I want to kind of speak about today. I don't know about you, but you know, something I've been really working on. And a lot of my past conditioning had me pushing and pushing to get into action. So for example, if I learned something, or, you know, wanted to aspire to, you know, grow a new habit or more empowered habit, or have a more empowering routine, or, you know, experience more joy, whatever the intention was, and was push myself from that insight phase, directly into that action phase. And is skipped over this integration phase. So let's take a moment and talk about like, what is integrating. And integrating is that beautiful moment before that right? After awareness. So you know, when you're in that self discovery, awareness phase of maybe discovering that something's out of alignment for you maybe discovering something you want to change, maybe discovering something you want to transform, maybe being inspired by someone else, or by a new learning a new teaching, that now you really want to bring into your life. So boom, awareness. And then there's the integration phase, which I would say what would actually be the second phase, but a lot of times we go then, okay, make it happen. What's the action? What's the plan? Write it out and do it. So I invite you, before we get into that phase, what if integration phase could be now could be January, February, into March? Right before that spring time? And what if during this integration phase, you're actually feeling what that new routine felt like? Sitting with it for a second, sit? Two minutes? Close your eyes? How does that new routine feel like? What kind of person am I? When I dedicate myself to that morning routine, for example, for using morning routine and moralizing? I'm just rolling with us examples that lets us know hey, I have this newfound awareness that when I set my mornings up for me, and what does that mean? So again, here's another integration base. So what does that mean? setting yourself up successfully for the morning, setting yourself up? For the most empowered morning routine? actually taking a moment and sitting with that? What does that actually look like? What does that actually feel like? What does that actually look like for you? Because maybe you are inspired? Maybe you, you know, have an a picture in your mind. Have you had a moment to really detail that out? How do you move out of the band? What's the first thing you experience? How does that feel and really integrated into your body? Why is that so important? Well, we know from a scientific perspective, from a neuroscience perspective, even just the visualization addition of doing a new habit, a new routine, a new, a new, you know, mindset shift, for example, a rethinking how you would handle a situation, even just playing that out in your head, creates new neural pathways, which then create your ad, you're almost like creating the halo effect for you than to create that action in your body. Right. So from a scientific perspective, we know this to be true, there's actually a study that you can look, look up, it's, it's a basketball study with free throws, for example, and they had one control group, just visualize it, and they had the other group actually practice every day. And the group that visualize actually had a higher percentage than the group that did not visualize. So again, just the importance of visualization, even seeing yourself in that moment, in that place already. Which from, you know, I will call it like a spiritual perspective. We know this to be true with manifestation. It's not that I, you know, just can sit there and be like, I want a million dollars, it's fine. What does that feel like, energetically? What would I be doing with that money? How would I be spending it? How would I be honoring it? How does that feel energetically in my body, right? So really taking these moments to integrate what we actually want to create who we want to be become what we want to shift. So it's so important this phase, because, you know, again, from my own experience, when I pass through this phase, that's when I realized that these things didn't stick, they didn't, that true transformation didn't happen for me, because I wasn't growing that capacity, and also integrating it into all parts of me. And again, it's that difference of just, you know, really taking your time. And almost like, for example, I know, some people have heard of like habit stacking, right, taking your time, and just adding one new habit, and then another new habit and then stacking that habit on that habit. So, you know, I just invite you to slow down to take this moment of integration, because I promise you, what you're actually wanting to create, is going to happen from a place of true transformation, holistic transformation, if you do this integration phase. So I share all this, because I just, I feel so passionate about this, because for me, I found that resisting the urge to jump start to stop piling more onto my plate when it's already full. To slow down when everything around me says to speed up. Trust me, it took practice in time. And I'm happy to say this year was the most luscious, empowering soul expansive experience, because I did that. So I want to share some ways to integrate. So to actually put this into practice, and there's so many different ways for integration, but one that we just spoke about was visualization. So there's so many amazing apps out there, even on Spotify, some really great meditative meditation prompts. So to actually have somebody guide you into visualization for me is really helpful. If it isn't for you, and you rather just sit there in silence, or put even a timer on for two minutes, if that even just sounds a little too restrictive for you. Or this is something that's new for you. Even putting a timer on for two minutes, three minutes, and just closing your eyes and visualizing yourself in that state would be so supportive. And so helpful, I promise. And some things I just want to invite you. When you're doing this is you might realize, huh, that's interesting. When I visualized this, I actually didn't like, you know, I thought I would experience feelings of joy and expansiveness. And actually, that's not what I really want. Or you realize it is and it feels so good. And it feels so right. And now you're even more clear about how to create that and make that happen. So again, the invitation here is to not rush into action. But to actually visualize this new action, this new behavior, this new being, in your mind, in your mind's eye to journaling. I think journaling is such a great way to integrate and it's asking yourself questions, you know, so if we I'm trying to think of like a new Your intention could be I want to experience more play. So you might journal. What does play mean to me? How does play show up in my life? When I anchor on the feeling of play? How does that feel like, in my body? Where do I feel it? What sensations show up for me? How can I incorporate play in my relationships in my career, and my relationship to self. So as you can see, you can have this dialogue with yourself, which a lot of times we don't we think we have a dialogue in our mind. And, you know, a lot of times it's actually you know, some people call it for example, the inner critic or the ego. Or this or your saboteur is for example. And so you're really not having a conversation with you, with your heart, with your soul with your truest self. So that journaling medium kind of becomes a vessel for you to create that space, and to create that relationship to really be hearing and seeing what comes out during these moments. And again, you might feel some resistance if this is new for you new to journal, and you know, some of the resistance that I've seen in a lot of clients of mine has been almost the fear of seeing what what they actually come up with what what actually transpires what shows up for them. And that is totally normal. And that is totally okay. So again, take baby steps here, take micro steps. That's the other thing that I kind of want to pause here to any new action, any new habit, any new way of being any new thing that you're you're trying to create in your life? How can you break that up into a million pieces, or 1000 pieces, or 10 pieces, or five pieces, my invitation is here, a lot of times this new thing actually has a lot of micro steps underneath it. And that's why a we end up getting really frustrated when it doesn't happen, because then we realize, oh, I needed to do this thing, this thing, this thing, this thing, this thing, this thing to get to this thing. And again, going back to the integration piece, this is a really beautiful time to discover what little pieces might need to happen in order for that, that experience that intention to fully to fully come alive, into again, showing you and giving you that permission, that it's going to take time and that's okay. Time and practices. Okay. And trust me coming from hands up woman over here say that I had such a an aversion to practice. You know, I some of my conditioning comes from, you know, this, you know, military background of like, get it right, get it right the first time, go, go, go go. So for me, I really had to support my tendencies of perfectionism, I had tendencies of high achievement of overperformance into really take a take a step back and say, a lot of these new ways of me being are so different from my current being, it's going to take time, and that's okay. And it's going to take practice, in in practice is progress. Practice is progress. Mistakes are beautiful. They carry so much wisdom. This isn't a journey of perfectionism. This isn't a life of perfect. This is a life of enjoyment. This is a life of love. This is a life of peace, of calm, of flow of ease. And so just take that time, you're not behind, you're exactly where you need to be. Another integration tool that I love to use that I actually learn this from this amazing woman, I'll link her Nadia, she runs the she runs his amazing projectors Instagram page, and she also has this amazing service design school. And when I attended, I really enjoyed her part about growing capacity. And she's the capacity expert over here. So again, like I said, I'll link her end. But one thing I really loved from from her toolbox of all these amazing tools was this affirmation practice. And some of you might be going love affirmations give me give me and some of you might be rolling eyes and be like, affirmations. Hear me out. So one, going back to the science behind this. So there might be a limiting belief you have around the thing that you are creating the shift that you're trying to create, even what you're trying to welcome more in your life. So for example, I want to experience more joy, or I want to experience more rest, there might be a limiting belief behind that, that again, that I invite you during the integration phase, to see if it shows up. So maybe there's a belief that when I rest, I'm lazy, right? And so how can you take that, and actually create an affirmation, that's an a more, that's an empowering affirmation, that helps shift that limiting belief. So for example, when I rest, I have full strength and power to accomplish all the desires and dreams I have in my life. As an example, you can make that shorter, you can make it longer you can make it whatever you want. The coolest thing about this is, you're going to record this affirmation, you're going to record it a few times, you know, get it to about, I would say about five minutes if you can. And if you can't say it five minutes over, you can copy it on like an audio loop and just have it play on repeat for five minutes. So the important thing about this is that you play this recording, this recording of your affirmation that shifting this limiting belief that is buried in your subconscious, because it's another thing that I've experienced in coaching, and coaching clients that have such beautiful awareness, they will even say they feel a resistance in their body. Or they, they don't know why they feel such a resistance, like they want it so bad. But there's a resistance there. So what we usually discover there's a limiting belief, and this limiting belief is usually anchored into something very deep. But instead of having to go there, right and discover that which again, I encourage you all to do at your own time. And different modes of therapy are wonderful for this. But for the sake of this conversation, you know, we don't have to go the route right now. But what we can is we can help the subconscious grow capacity and shift that limiting belief that is probably still anchored in there. So if we take this example of you know, when I rest, I'm lazy. And then we wrote this affirmation, and then we said this affirmation out loud, and then we recorded ourselves for five minutes saying this affirmation out loud, take this affirmation, and play it right before you go to bed. And, or right when you wake up. Why? Because your mind is in a theta state. And when it is in theta, these are the second slowest brainwaves, and they're connected to the subconscious mind. And remember, your subconscious mind, what is it like 90 or 95% of like, truly, where your thoughts and patterns and everything comes from we only use, you know, the conscious mind is what like only like 5% or something crazy like that. Sorry, I don't have the sign in front of me. But all that to say, conscious really isn't taking up that much capacity. It's your subconscious in So to that point, how are again, how are we integrating all parts of our being mind, body, and spirit. And this is a perfect one for the mind because it needs a little support and needs a little help with the subconscious. So when you are in this theta state, so right, when you're dropping into sleep, so if that's what you're playing at, right when you go to sleep, or right when you're waking up, it is connecting to that subconscious state. So it's helping again, from a scientific perspective, rewiring, shifting that mindset. And that's another way to integrate. And last but not least, and again, I said there's so many different ways to integrate. But last of my favorites is something truly visual. So like a collage. You know, some people call this like their, you know, their mood board or their manifestation board. But it's just something visual. You can see I'm a very visual person, so sometimes helps me see things that I'm wanting to experience and I'm wanting to create an anchor on that visually. So what does that actually look like? So this can look like a fun project. I mean, cutting things touching things like using your hands, which again, from a neuroscience perspective, from a scientific perspective is really great for you to use your hands and kind of create things, again, integrates, or if you're more of a digital person through some great Canva links. I'll see if I can drop one in here. I have doing virtual collage boards II also Pinterest, y'all doing a Pinterest board keeping it private, and pinning inspiration on, you know, that new thing that you're wanting to experience? Or integrate or shift? Again? How do you feel? What does that look like? How do you carry yourself? Does this person, you know, wear different kinds of clothes. So we can just be open, be curious to see what else shows up, as you're visually bringing this experience forth. So you can actually see it in 3d. And by seeing it in 3d, every day, you can save it I've have had a girlfriend would screenshot it and put it as her background for her phone. So she would see that mood board every single day. And so again, that that daily action of seeing that thing, so not only will let me take a step back, not only creating that thing, right, it's going to be so powerful for you, because again, you're gonna get so many insights and learnings from that. Checking in Ooh, is that in alignment? Is that not in alignment? Do I actually really want this? Oh, that feels good. Oh, I didn't realize that's what I want it like, you're gonna get all this beautiful insight. And then once you create this thing, then you're imprinting it every single day, in your mind, in your subconscious in your body, in your spirit, all of it, you're just seeing it every day. Which by the way, if you look at it in the opposite, right, seeing something that's not in alignment with you, or seeing something that, you know, puts you in a good or a bad mood, or doesn't make you feel good every single day, we end up attracting those things, or they end up staying in our lives. So the invitation here is to surround yourself visually with things that are going to empower you for this new shift. All right, y'all wanted to keep this one short and sweet. I hope i i hope i accomplish that. But my biggest thing and my biggest takeaway for you all and why I wanted to record the specific episode was there are no bar bad parts. There are no bad habits, you're not doing anything wrong. And all you're doing is moving towards a more empowering place. And that might look like more empowering habits that might look like more empowering. A more empowering job. That might look like a more empowering relationship. That might look like a more empowering relationship with yourself. And that's all we're moving towards. And to take that moment to integrate that, to feel it, to experience it. And then just to take daily small action towards it. But don't feel like you have to rewrite your life right now. Don't feel like you're already behind. Don't feel like you're really screwed up your New Year's resolution. By the way, what is time anyways? Seriously, though, take your time, slow down. You're even energetically in the season to slow down and to integrate. So take that. Take it with you into this new year. This year of beautiful, luscious integration, because you'll always be on the journey. And may Your journey be one of ease of love, of abundance of health and so much good fortune. Sending you so many blessings. Goodbye for now.