The Real Ones Reserved Podcast

LOWERING EXPECTATIONS

September 12, 2022 MDEE The Veteran Episode 16
The Real Ones Reserved Podcast
LOWERING EXPECTATIONS
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Show Notes Transcript

In today's episode i discuss why lowering your expectations of people is important. Why we should constantly reevaluate our expectations and more. Hope you all enjoy today's show and learn something!!

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Coming up on the real ones reserved podcast, we're talking about lowering your expectations. You don't want to miss this one baby. Let's go. Whoa, now. It's your boy, MDEE The veteran. And welcome to the real ones reserved podcast where we talk about real things that need to be talked about. Disclaimer, I am not a licensed psychologist, therapist, psychiatrist, counselor, or any type of behavioral health expert. These are only my thoughts and ideas with that being said If you care to listen, Do so with an open mind, Let's go. What's happening everybody issue boy, the veteran CEO of the real ones reserved podcast and Company. Good morning to y'all. What's happening? Wherever you're at in the world, I hope you're having a great day. It was 911 yesterday. It was 911 Yesterday. Definitely. A historic day, I just want to say a special thank you to all the heroes that rallied and answered the call of the nation. So a big thank you to you guys. I thank you to your families, and the sacrifice that you all laid down. So selflessly, so I just wanted to acknowledge you guys, I notices a sensitive subject. And I just want to say again, thank you for your sacrifice. Before we get started, like I do on every episode, I just want to let you guys know, the reason I do this show, I do this show to help others. I love helping others. I love people. You know, it's a beautiful thing to communicate with others, and to let them know that you there for now. So let's get into it. Somebody say, Huh, MD? Why are we talking about lowering expectations? So why should we because lowering your expectations is like lowering your blood sugar is good for you. Let me dive a little deeper into that analogy. Having a high blood sugar level is painful. Having a lot of sugar is inflammation causes pain. Just like having too much expectation for people is painful. It hurts. So we need to lower those expectations. In order to save ourselves so much hurt. Relationships is the main cause or main topic of having to talk about lowering expectations. I'm not referring to if you go spend your money at the store to lower your expectations as far as getting the product that you pay for. I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about when you go to KFC or McDonald's, you should expect to get that hot three piece chicken fresh out the grease, you should expect to get that hot mac and cheese, you should expect to get that six piece nuggets extra crispy, you should come on somebody or if you're invest in the Yeezys, Balenciaga wire sale YSL all these different products, all these different designer heads that are, you know, charging a lot you expect for your product to be squared away at least. But as we talk about relationships, it changes. So what I want you guys to do right now is just ponder on that man. Just think about why when it comes to relationships, we have to lower our expectations. Why is that? Now, I don't think I had that ability as a kid talking about lowering my expectations on Christmas or for my birthday or for some type of special day that a kid looks at and think is supposed to be special. I don't think that's happening. I don't think a kid has that ability to lower the expectations. Now, in my own life, I'm gonna be real chill. I have a problem with this. Sometimes. I'm learning how to deal with it and be better at it. But I'm having some trouble. But I'm working on it. I'm working on me. I'm working on just all the issues that I have, you know, boy Am I hard on my family? I swear, uh, one person that probably feels it the most is my son. Because I have high expectations to him, he's my only son. He has my DNA. So of course, I want him to be great. I want him to represent the name, whale, I want him to carry himself, well, I have the highest expectations to him. So I'm trying to get better at that myself. But I tried to lower my expectations too much for him, but just trying to balance them and be realistic about them. I think that a lot of parents may struggle with this one. Because we want not but the best for our kids, you know, and we know what it is to want to make it in life. It takes a lot. So I think we're doing them a favor, by having high expectations. By me, I feel like a lot of people have high expectations of me, Shoo, I want you to lower them. Because if we turn that around, I can't have high expectations to you. So, in turn, lower your expectations towards me. Because people want you to go out your way, man. They forget that. We all have families, we all have problems. We all have responsibilities, different things going on, people getting sick, your kids getting sick. Let's learn to give people grace. Let's learn to not be so offended just because people can't help you out whenever you call up on them. Maybe they'll have time. Maybe they have other priorities, things of greater importance is not, oh, let me hurry up and respond to so and so on Facebook or Instagram before they get mad. I'd suggest that you grow the hell up and stop being so inconsiderate. Life is much broader than you. You know. I hit people up a lot of times and don't get a response. I may send them a message. But I don't expect anything in return. Maybe I come in or something. But I'll expect those people are whom ever that I engaged with to answer me right away. Now in these relationships, if you've establish these expectations amongst each other, and it's understood, then that's fine. But to have expectations of, oh, this person is supposed to be on top of everything. Because I message them. I text them I call them first or whatever. To have these expectations just drawn up in your mind is insane. Because realistically, these are the same people that will let you down the ones that have the highest expectation of you. They will let you down. They will play dumb as I like to call it or we'd like to call in Louisiana. They like to play dumb at their own convenience. And this is exactly why I'm learning to manage or lower my expectations. Because is this is extremely frustrating. It's annoying, and it will leave you hurt over and over and over again. Another thing is like we get so emotionally invested in thinking the best about people. We see them a certain way. And when they fall short it it is really painful. In relationships, people make promises and when they fall short on those promises and cut you to the core. At least me Don't Make Me no promise in Don't come through on it. My value is this. If I make somebody a promise, or if I tell them, I'm going to do something I do it might take me a little while, but I'm going to do what I say I'm going to do. And I get it. Everybody ain't me. Everybody ain't us. People that that word means something. But everyone else, you have to lower your expectations at him. You have to, or you will stay with a hurt heart. Now, I'm all for having high standards, having high expectations, I'm all for it. I'm just acknowledging the truth behind some people. Because some people, they won't care about shifting and not being about the standard or being about what they say sometimes. So I'm trying to save you all a little heartache. I'm learning to save myself a little heartache, by lowering my expectations. And I've learned in marriage, man, I don't have the most perfect marriage, but I'm learning that you should cut your spouse some slack. Lower your expectations. You can expect your spouse to be 100% on everything across the board, be perfect all the time. And you know, you guys don't have any issues. That's unrealistic. Lower your expectations. You can't expect your spouse to be all over the laundry, be all over the budget, be all over the cooking, be all over everything. That's on unrealistic, lower your expectations, and you will be much happier. This is going to take a lot of practice. It's not easy, nor have I perfected it. But you take a moment and breathe and you know, just see everything for what it is. You will be a little more at peace. You will be able to lower your expectations a little easier. Because man recently, I've had people fall short. In they know, they fell short. In a no. I was dependent on them. close family. And guess what? Had I lowered my expectations. Maybe I wouldn't got hurt. Maybe I wouldn't have these feelings that I do today. But the way I see it each experience is for a reason. Each challenge is for a reason. Each scenario is for reason. Because I have learned from these different things. I'm not done learning, but I have learn the quality of people that I'm dealing with. Maybe I gave them credit for being somebody who they weren't all along. But I'm learning to lower my expectations. Like expectations to me is like tendencies. You know, it's what you expect somebody to do. In football, in sports in general. And MMA and boxing. That's a good thing. You look at people's tendencies. And you form your game plan to defeat your opponent. Como somebody? Now was this the word expect? Isn't it something that is supposed to happen most likely to happen? I'm not looking at the definition right now. But if you expect something it means is most likely to happen. So Are we wrong? Two weeks Back are have high expectations of people. Because an expectation, or expect is the action that's supposed to, or be likely to happen. Like when we look at the forecast for the week, you see, all the days we're expecting rain 60% chance to rain 70% chance of rain, why can't we take that same methodology and apply it and apply it to expectations? Like, I mess with my kids all the time about this? Right? They expect me, they don't say it. But they expect me to be an outstanding father. They expect me to be there for them, when they meet me to be. They have I have high expectations of me. I don't know if I did that to myself. But they expect certain things. Now I can handle that. Because I want to be an outstanding father to them. I want to be an example for what a dad is. I want to be just a good dad, I want to be a strong supporter, I want to be a leader for them. And when they become adults, I want them to be able to look back and be like, Man, What did dad do in this situation? Or how should I handle this? Just be a reference point for them, you know? Because I tell you what, my worst fear is not being anything to them. Come off somebody. My worst fear is not being anything to my kids. Man is sad to say, I know plenty of people that don't give a good God doe what they kids think. I wonder what everyone is thinking right now. I wonder if you guys are thinking you should lower your expectations of people, or what your opinion is on the subject. Because in my life, this is what I'm experiencing. I'm experiencing people having high expectations of me. And I can't have high expectations back. Or I feel that way. You know, maybe I'm wrong. But this is how I feel. And nine times out of 10. My intuition is pretty spot on. I mean, is your expectations going to be like a live document something that you could update? I think it should be? I think you should constantly update your expectations of people, you know, because we're all people, we're all at fault at times. Sometimes we have unrealistic views on things. So we should have expectations that are, you know, like a living, breathing document, you should be able to go in and update your own brain box and be like, Well, my take on that was a little jacked up. So let me adjust my expectations the next time. I'm just trying to throw different things that show me different scenarios, because there's all types of scenarios that happen in life. But is it right to expect one of your friend or family member to pay everything every time they come down? Just because you expect them to because they did it one time? Just because you feel like they're better off financially? Is that correct? Let me give you the answer. Hell no, that's not correct. That's manipulation. If anything, you should be willing to do the same that your friends or your family members is doing for you. Love go both ways me is split down the middle. Not just one side. Like think about that. I remember. Early on when I was in the military man, I would go back home. People think of freaking rich in the military and rich shoe. Maybe if you don't have any responsibilities. But yeah, people would think you rich. They want you to pay for all kinds of stuff like, bro, chill out. Back then I thought it was normal. If I know if I knew what I know now, I'll say bro, lower your expectations. I mean, I know you wouldn't be willing to do Do what you want me to do for you? So does. That's just weird to me. I mean, back then, my younger mindset, I didn't see things the way I do now, you know. And it took a long time for me to see that it's like people were users man. Like, I already know if and when I become a millionaire, so many people are going to expect me to come fix all their problems, which I'm not that guy. I'm really not. So please take heed to this message, lower your expectations of me do it. Because I'm finally learning how to lower my expectation other people may. That stuff will leave you stressed out, emotionally drained, just hurt, you know. So please work on this skill that I'm trying to teach you. It'll save you a lot of heartbreak, it'll save you a lot of hours of wondering why people will be so cruel or dismissive of the expectations that you have for them. So lower your expectations, because I'm telling you, a lot of people are going to miss it, they're going to miss the mark, they not going to catch what's expected of them. I don't know if they're just as selfish or just don't care. But a lot of people are going to miss what they are truly expected to do. No, somebody's asking a question. So M D, how do we fix that? is easy. Expect nothing, or expect less. And if it turns out that someone does more for you, a that's a plus. That really is a plus. So wrapping up today's show, I hope you all learned something. I hope you all identify what I was talking about, in trying to get you all to see as far as managing your expectations. Because we all need that we all need to lower our expectations. Because it's not worth becoming so emotionally involved in to where it's gonna leave you hurt in the end. I'm telling you out and been there done net, and it ain't no fun. But I'm telling you since trying to lower my expectations, and making a constant effort at that I've been more at peace. Like seriously, trying to manage my expectations is definitely working out for me. Again, I want to thank you all for joining us here on the real ones reserved podcast, again it's your boy MDEE. And as always it's the veteran so who you think you're better than.