LOOKING FOR UNHAPPINESS

In today's episode i share my thoughts on how negative people see the world and details on how to see life in a more positive space. Make sure subscribe if you like and appreciate content like this! Please & Thanks!!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Coming up on the Real Ones Reserve podcast, we'll be talking about the topic looking for in happiness. You don't wanna miss this one, baby. Let's go. Whoa. Now it's your boy veteran. And to the Real Ones podcast, we talk about things that need to talked about. Disclaimer, I'm not a licensed psychologist, therapist, psychiatrist. What's happening? Everybody is your boy md, the veteran owner and operator of the Real Ones Reserve, Podcasts and Company. My passion is helping people, and that's what this podcast is about. It's meant to be inspiring and motivating to you all. We do this by providing relatable content to let you all know that you aren't alone. So if you believe that you're the trying Optimistic type person, then this show will be for you. So again, just wanna welcome you all to the show and, uh, let's get into it. So I imagine somebody pondering md Hmm. Why are people looking for unhappiness? So the way I see it is people that have peace and have it for a while, they can't stand having peace because they imagine it's just too good to be at peace. Some people need war and turmoil to be happening around them in order for them to feel good about their situation, I guess, or maybe is that they grew up in that type of environment where there was no consistency, there was no steady, uh, rhythm within their home, meaning there was always something going on. So those type of people, they get formed into that type of mentality where they're always looking for the next thing up. The next thing up. And just to put things in the context a little bit, um, let's say you were a child that grew up in a home that was heavy on domestic violence, right? And it seems that these types of things went on and went, went on and on and on. And finally, when a calm season would arise, then you're like, where's that thing that was happening? Where was that destructive, uh, pattern that was happening? And you're constantly looking for it because that's how your mind was trained to imagine life every day to day life. Now, that type of mentality will completely destroy your life, will completely destroy anything good that you have going on because you're looking at it like, Okay, I know this bad thing is about to happen. You know, let's say, um, you know, you had a girlfriend, boyfriend, um, and you're just looking for that flaw, or you're looking for that thing to arise, and potentially it probably would've never arose. You know, you're projecting those childhood traumas into every type of relationship you may have, any type of good thing that you may have going on. You take those negative traumas and you implement them into every positive, um, because you're traumatized and you never healed from being traumatized or dealing with that situation to begin with. Now, those are extremely detrimental behaviors, you know, and that's what you were taught. That's what you were taught at a early age, or maybe you were a young adult. Some things happen to you. Then you go on this hunt looking for everything to be bad. So that's why I titled this message looking for unhappiness, because that's exactly what you're doing. You're looking for every imperfect thing around you. And it's like, that's jacked up, that's jacked up, that's jacked up. You're identifying what you perceive to be problems, and you're just looking for unhappiness. You're looking for faults, which we all have faults, you know, even vehicles and computers and everything, digital will shoot a fault at out at you every once in a while. Hey, you need to update your iCloud. Hey, your freaking service like came on in your car, so on and so forth. Here's one troop that I wanna talk about. Some people don't know how to be at peace because it just doesn't feel right to them. It doesn't feel right to them. There always has to be some type of thing going on for them to be able to produce or work harder or something like that. If y'all get what I'm trying to say. Now, here's a fact for you. Enjoy your happy times because the bad times are coming. That's inevitable. Bad times and good times are inevitable. You know, seasons last for so long. At times you may go through a bad time for a short period of time, or you may go through a bad time for years, you know, But you have to appreciate those happy times in between. You have to keep that balance because if you don't, and life is just miserable, there's no point in living. Then one thing I know that we all may overlook at times is dealing with past traumas. You have to deal with it. You cannot sweep it under a rug. I'm not saying, uh, deal with it and deal with it and deal with it again, but get to a good stopping point or, uh, take action on that trauma and move on. Move on with your life. Don't keep reliving the trauma. Deal with it. Face it and be done with it. Now, I know that some of you may not care to talk with a counselor, right? But I think that's very healthy to get things off your chest from an unbiased professional, a professional in the field of psychology and counseling and, uh, psychiatry. You know, I think it's very important to talk to those professionals. That way you could get proper diagnostics done on yourself. Like, how can you know if anything's wrong with you? If you know, you just never try. So broaden your mind. You know, think outside the box and try to care for yourself. Try to give yourself an opportunity to heal from those traumas because you never know. Maybe you're looking for unhappiness because your depressed, maybe depression runs in your family. Maybe bipolar disorder runs in your family. It's important for you to know these things because that would enlighten you, that would help you to be like, Oh, okay, I see I need to help myself because, you know, my parent or whoever, you know, face the same thing and they did nothing about it, or they didn't know had to do something about it. And the bottom line of being those type of people that's always looking for in happiness is those people are typically very toxic, very negative people. People that don't appreciate day to day life. People that don't appreciate their family as much. People that don't appreciate their home as much. People don't, people that don't appreciate anything. Now, I know it's gonna be difficult, especially if you been thinking this type of way or exhibiting this type of behavior your whole life. I would suggest that you get very specific. Get specific on what you're unhappy about. Don't just put everything in the same category. Find out why you're unhappy. Are you unhappy with the way you look? Are you unhappy with your home? Are you unhappy with your future? Are you unhappy about your spouse? What are you unhappy about? Are you unhappy, uh, about the way your community is set up? Whatever. You have to get very specific and see if it's even worth worrying about. Because if you can't change it, then why are you wearing about? That's insanity. Come on somebody. And once I've understood this, I've been very selective in who I choose as my friends. If it's somebody that's always whining and complaining and just seeing life for all the bad things, I don't wanna be friends with you because life is hard enough. It's beautiful, but it's hard enough at times to view it in this nasty, draining way. You know, Oh, this is so bad. This tastes so bad. This job is so bad. Everything is so bad. I'm like, Oh my God. Stop it. Just stop it. Listen to yourself. Like, I would like to think it takes even more energy to look at all the negative things in life. It takes that much more energy to just make yourself miserable. Your face all balled up. You know, just mad. My lunch tastes nasty. It's like, ugh, this jerk ran me off the road earlier and ah, and I gotta do this. Ah, like, why? Like, life ain't that bad. Stop looking for unhappiness. Now, I hate trying to blame everything on social media. It's not all social media. It's us too, because we play a role in picking up our phones and going across all these different platforms to, you know, engage. But my bit of advice I wanna share with you guys is stop comparing your lives to these celebrities. Stop doing that. You're not gonna live the type of life that they live. You ain't got the type of money that they have. And guess what? In some cases you may be happier than them. They may have cars, boats, uh, different businesses, arenas, stores, whatever they may have all these things and miserable, stop comparing your life to others. That's not going to do anything. If anything, use that as motivation. Do not try to keep up with the Kardashians, though. You are not a k a Kardashian. I mean, I ain't trying to keep up with'em, but I'm just saying some people do. So, stop comparing your life. Be grateful for your life. Stop comparing it though. Stop comparing it with your next door neighbor. Hey, I just saw him pull up with a Ferrari. We ain't got no Ferrari. We got a Kia. Like, bro, stop. Don't be trying to compare your life to oh, this, you will be sad. You will be extremely sad. And why? You don't have to be jealous of anybody. You don't have to be envious of anybody. You do not have to put yourself on the same playing field. You are not the same. Now I know we have different, uh, stories, We have different backgrounds, we have different pains, we have different things that have happened to us, but we cannot go around just constantly looking for in happiness. Unhappiness happens, but we don't need to look for it. We don't need to bring that negative thing to fruition. Let these things take its course, run its course on its own. We don't need to try to bring that to life. If y'all get what I'm trying to say and leave those past traumas in the past, leave them in the grave. Once you're done with'em, put'em in the graveyard. Don't dig them up. Don't say hello. Don't wave at'em. Once your past traumas are done, put'em in a graveyard in your brain and don't think about it. Some people will say, Oh, I can't stop thinking about it. Well, my brain is a racey brain too. But you can do other things to try to distract yourself from thinking, you know, play some cards, play video games. If that's your thing. Go lift weights. Go run, go cut some wood. Go skin some fish or something. I don't know. We have to be very intentional on finding the positive things in life. Everybody could look for the faults in something. Everybody can do that. But my challenge to you is look at yourself. Look at your inner being correct, your inner being, and that'll help you to look at things better. You know, if you negative on the inside, you're gonna see all negative on the outside. But if you fix your heart and fix your mind on the inside, then everything becomes beautiful. Things become more positive. So it starts with yourself. It sounds so plain, but some people will never get this. They will die and be a negative person all their life, or people have died Just being negative. And that stuff wears you out. It, it put wrinkles on you. It put gray in your hair, not just wisdom. Stress does that too. And I ain't even get into the other toxic things that will rise in your life as a result of being negative. You'll wanna eat more, you'll wanna drink more. You'll become addicted to more and more things because you just wanna look at everything negative. Uh, you just wanna take the edge off all the time. Oh, I gotta take the edge off, you know? And what we take the the edge off with, I'm guilty too. What you wanna take the edge off with eating, doing drugs, drinking, whatever it is, it's arising from the negative thing. Also, I'll tell y'all, I wasn't always the most positive person. I remember being in the military, just getting in the military, and I had a poor attitude. I was much younger. I didn't know how to look at life positive. I didn't know how to see the good in every day. I didn't know how to separate things. Yeah, this is going on. That's negative in my life. But look at this, look at this, look at this, look at this. All these things are good. So you need to learn how to sort those things out and not just be upset. You have to learn to be upset. Partially<laugh>. And that sounds funny, but you have to stop looking for unhappiness in everything. You have to sort those things out. What's causing me to be unhappy? What's causing me to be sad? You know, what's, what's causing me to feel like this? You have to get specific. As I mentioned earlier, you have to give very specific, you have to be very intentional on not having that negative mindset. You have to stay busy. You have to practice this thing over and over and over again and over the years. That's how, that's how I've improved and learn to look at life a different way. Because man, I would be upset for everything. And life ain't that bad to be upset about everything. You mad, you whining, you crying about everything. Life is not that bad. Stop looking for unhappiness. Be grateful for those things that you do have. Appreciate those little things. Appreciate the, the warmness of the sun. Appreciate a kind, uh, gesture from your spouse or your girlfriend or your boyfriend. Be grateful for the little things because at the end of the day, those are the things that matter. Nothing else matters. Stop looking for unhappiness. Stop, nitpicking, stop just trying to be negative for, for any reason. Oh, you didn't bring me my dipping sauce with my chick-fil-A. I'm mad. Okay, get over it. It's a mistake. It's a mistake. Get over it cuz. Point blank. Bad things happen, mistakes happen. This is life. All kinds of stuff is going to happen. But you have control over your mindset. You don't have to let everything just come in and you have a meltdown and you just looking for everything to possibly go wrong. And everything that we do, something could possibly go wrong. You don't have to focus on the negative. You have control over that. You have say so over that. You can dictate that. You cannot just give into your worst fears or your worst thoughts about something you have to work against that. You have to work against that negativity. Looking for unhappiness is a very draining way to think. Stop looking for the next obstacle. It's okay to plan for B, C, and D or whatever if you want to, but it's not necessary. You thinking that every thing that could go wrong, possible. And here's a huge factor, You have to be present in the moment. Not worry about yesterday, not worry about the day before. You have to live in the present. You have to think about the present. Enjoy that beautiful day that you have on today. Go clean up your car. Go freshen up. Go take your spouse or significant other out for lunch or something. Don't sit there, oh man, blah, blah, blah. Adding up all the bad things that have happened to you in life. That's pointless. That's such a immature way to think. Honestly guys, I've learned that throughout my time here on earth. Hey, be grateful, man. Live each day, one day at a time and it's gonna be all right if you having a crappy day, just make it through that day. Wake up tomorrow is a fresh start. Like I mean it every day ain't gonna be perfect. You just have to adjust and take the bumps and bruises as they come. Wrapping up today's show. I hope it was informative. I hope's what somebody needed. Um, I'm here for you guys. I'm trying to deliver what I feel needs to be delivered. All right? You guys have to stay in the right mindset, okay? So just be flexible in the way that you see life. Don't have a pity party. Don't dwell on the negative things. Don't look for unhappiness. Train your mind the same way you trained your mind to look at things in a negative light. Train your mind to think positive. And that's always, it's your boy, the veteran. So who you think you're better than.