Confessions of a Recruiter
The show is hosted by Blake Thompson and Declan Kluver who respectively own Vendito Consulting and Blended Employment. Both have been in Sales & Marketing Recruitment for over 5 years. The podcast is about opening the door to the recruitment world and creating a community of recruiters who can share funny stories, educate and have honest conversations about the industry and their experience. All episodes are powered by xrecruiter.
Confessions of a Recruiter
Kat Robinson & Deanna Squires - The Leading Ladies | Confessions of a Recruiter Episode #99
In this episode, we’re flipping the script!
Together, Kat and Deanna unpack the excitement and stress of supporting Blake and Declan through the years as they build their businesses. They discuss the sacrifices, risks, and decisions that have defined their journeys.
Declan’s leap from a secure job to founding a recruitment agency happened just as Deanna learned she was expecting, throwing them into a whirlwind of change. From moving in with family to save for their future to navigating new parenthood, they reveal how partnership and unwavering support keep them going through the challenges.
Kat’s pregnancy with Elsie added a new set of challenges and blessings, shifting motivations and priorities, especially in the uncertain times of a pandemic. Through touching stories and plenty of laughs, they reflect on setting boundaries, managing work-life balance, and leaning on a supportive community.
This episode is a raw, candid look into the realities of blending entrepreneurship and family, highlighting the resilience, humor, and love that guide them through life’s unpredictable journey.
· Our Website is: xrecruiter.io
But not only was he resigning to no wage, but I was pregnant, and that really threw Declan into a bit of a spiral.
Speaker 2:Whoa, hey guys, it's Kat and Deanna. We're the partners of Blake and Declan from X Recruiter.
Speaker 1:Today we filmed an epic podcast on the journey it's taken from the starting of their recruitment agencies to now X Recruiter the highs and lows and the juicy funny stories that we could share.
Speaker 2:You know, behind the closed doors it was really really hard.
Speaker 3:You don't want to miss this episode. Welcome back to another episode of Confessions of a Recruiter. With Blake and Declan we're here, joined with Deanna and Kat, two very special ladies, our partners. Thanks for coming on, girls. Thanks for coming on, no worries.
Speaker 4:Now this has happened for a reason because I think there's a lot of value to be shared in hearing what it's like when we started our agencies, your perspective, what it's like juggling families and, you know, keeping the household in ship shape and building businesses. It's not easy, but you know we couldn't have done what we've done unless we were with both of you, so it'd be a good moment to ease both on.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so let's start. Let's start with Declan and Deanna, because this is going to be an interesting story, because we share very a lot of similarities on how we started our agency. I think I was only maybe 12 months ahead of you or something like that.
Speaker 4:Should we go through the similarities between us four and our families, like we're two. The girls are the same age, same age gap with us.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, we've got two cougars at the table. They're both older than us.
Speaker 4:Just.
Speaker 3:Come on, yeah, yeah, yeah, go through the similarities.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so then yeah, both two girls same, age same age gap Met almost in the same year because you two met in 2018.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:We met in 2017. And our kids are a similar age. Me and Blake are two months apart.
Speaker 3:Our sons are both two months apart, yep, both have brown hair. Both have brown hair.
Speaker 4:Both of the girls initiated us in the relationship first first and um, and then tommy's got the same birthday as sammy at work yeah, the girls are both born a week apart, in january.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, we're linked. We're linked entirely, but we also have very different ways at home, and you guys started business a year apart and let's talk about the journey. Let's get into it, let's do it.
Speaker 3:All right. So to give some context, so Declan and I started at a recruitment agency together. I worked there for about 14, 15 months and then started my agency. Pretty quickly. Thereafter Declan did the same, really, but just a little bit down the track. Walk us through well, you were together at this point, right, so you were a boyfriend, girlfriend, and Declan was a recruiter. And then walk us through the relationship on how it was between you two when Declan came home, deanna, and said I'm going to start a recruitment agency, what was that about?
Speaker 1:That was something we were planning and we thought it was a great idea to get around starting his own agency. So we were, you know, living the life and had a great spot in in town, in Hamilton. We were pretty carefree, we didn't have too many responsibilities, we were using as much time as we could to plan and save to start this agency the week of and the day that he resigned which was a massive, massive deal. As most people know that have done that before we also found out that day, or that few days before that, I was also pregnant. Yeah, a few days before I was pregnant with Sage. So that really threw Declan into a bit of a spiral. He was not okay. So not only was he resigning to no wage, but I was pregnant and yeah.
Speaker 3:How old are you? Declan 24. 24? He was 24. Okay, so you're 24. You're starting your recruitment, declan 24. 24. He was 24. Okay, so you're 24. You're starting your recruitment agency. You're with your partner. You're saving up. How long did you save up? For? Six months, six months, okay, so this was a premeditated.
Speaker 4:Premeditated, planned, executed, beautiful.
Speaker 1:Well executed, except another error.
Speaker 3:Okay, so you're 24. You're Okay, so you're 24, you're about to resign. You've got everything organised.
Speaker 4:Paid the office, rent in the new office.
Speaker 3:And then Deanna says hey, we're having a baby. Did anything ever go through your head around? Maybe we shouldn't start the agency now, because now we've got a kid we need some stability. Obviously, things change, that's so funny.
Speaker 1:No, that never was an option. It was never like we can't start the business. It was like what are the other options? Um, we decided to sacrifice, um make some big sacrifices, and we actually moved in with Declan's mom and and his sister and we all um lived together. So that was a big sacrifice and that was hard because, um, you know I was working, declan had quit his job, so he was stressed. I was a big sacrifice and that was hard because, you know I was working, declan had quit his job, so he was stressed. I was a little stressed and also going through so many changes. We sacrificed to go and live somewhere that we could afford to live, instead of sacrificing the business, or you know what other options there could have been at the time.
Speaker 4:Limit all expenses, yeah.
Speaker 1:We literally cut every cost we could possibly do.
Speaker 4:To the point you started paying for my car loan.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was paying for his car loan and his gym. I was really his sugar mama. I was the sugar mama cougar.
Speaker 4:Yeah, she's my investor.
Speaker 1:I'm the OG.
Speaker 3:Wow, okay, so, uh. So you found out basically the week prior of starting the agency that you were about to have a baby. What changed for you at that point? Or was it still the same plan, or did the plan have to be adjusted a little bit Like what was actually going through your mind at that?
Speaker 4:moment my mind was we've got nine months to have a solid crack and still be in business by the time Sage comes, and if we're not, then go back and get a job Nice.
Speaker 3:How are you feeling?
Speaker 1:At the time. Oh, I mean, there was a lot of emotional things happening for me, so it was pretty stressful. It was really hard. It wasn't easy. The stress of having to work and, you know, cover all expenses was a lot and I thought, well, we're just gonna have to give it a go. There's no other option. I'm down for the challenge, let's do it. And I honestly thought that it wouldn't be that hard. We did get through it. There were definitely hard times. Finances was like the biggest one, and then also, you know, being a lot older and then living at home with your partner's family. That was also a challenge because, you know, you've got different ways of living. We also had Archie, which is my son, so there was a lot going on. So I was pretty stressed, but we got through it. We definitely got through it. We conquered.
Speaker 3:What was the relation? Did it put any stress on the relationship? Were there moments in that nine-month period when obviously Deanna's got all the hormones Endorphins she's loving life Dopamine? Through the roof, waking up every day with a smile on your face.
Speaker 1:No, there was lots of tears. There was a lot of arguing and fighting at times and you know Declan was super stressed and I was angry and yeah.
Speaker 3:So you were working at like a normal interior design firm. Yeah, I was working at a design firm, so you were on a salary.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was on a salary, working full time.
Speaker 3:And that salary had to pay for you, Declan, living at home with Declan's parents and trying to make ends meet on one income.
Speaker 1:Yeah, whilst going through a whole body change Whilst going through a pregnancy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that sounds like it could have been a challenge. Do you reckon you could have done that? It?
Speaker 1:was hard, hard yakka. Honestly, it's not for everyone, it's definitely challenging, but I think we had to and this is deep but we had to get counselling at times to get through, like how we were feeling and how to communicate together, because we were so young as well. I mean, we still are, but we were younger and I think at the time, like we had a lot going on personally for us as well, like we had a lot of changes personally with our own families, so that put more strain on it as well. So there was a lot of fighting, a lot of miscommunication there, but we worked through it, didn't we? Yeah?
Speaker 1:Obviously yeah, we're here, I mean, we made it.
Speaker 3:Was there ever a moment that you thought I don't think this is going to work?
Speaker 1:Yeah, heaps of times, don't you think?
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Am I just saying that.
Speaker 4:In our relationship, and then also the work and the business Both yeah.
Speaker 3:Because like to be successful in business you need to have your house in order.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And what I mean by that is you need to have a peaceful, good home life so you can direct all energy and focus onto building and scaling a business. It'd be really really tough to build and scale a business if your home life was chaotic or inconsistent or, you know, not giving you the peace that you need to be able to focus at work. So I'd imagine you know you guys being in your first year like how long were you together together?
Speaker 1:A year and a half.
Speaker 4:Yeah, 15 months.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so you're still working each other out, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, and we'd gone from like a really carefree life.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we met in February and then moved in in July, five months later.
Speaker 2:Wow, they couldn't even date me that soon. Whoa, you put me on probation.
Speaker 3:You didn't want to commit too early.
Speaker 2:They moved in together. Yeah, they moved in together.
Speaker 1:We moved pretty quickly in our early stages, but we also went through a lot of big changes early in our relationship. We probably put a lot of strain on us in our early times together, so we had to put in a lot of time and effort and work through a lot of those things.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah because it was like dad got sick at the time, being a, you know, a step-parent at 23, 24, working out like there's a lot of life changes starting a business, living at home, getting pregnant, yeah it was like four or five milestone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you listed out that's all happened in one. It was like a year and a half, yeah, so it was not easy, but I mean you it, you get through it, you pull through it, there's always light in the tunnel and it's always going to be okay, like what was some of the conversations like declan would come home.
Speaker 3:You're, you're working as an interior designer. Declan come, comes home in whatever mood he's in from the day he's had, whether it be good or bad. Was there any like consistent style of conversation that always got brought up where you're like we've fucking been through this, declan, stop saying this.
Speaker 4:Or hey, great work here. You've got to not spend money. Stop spending money. We had no money to spend, so that was not a problem.
Speaker 1:I think it just was like trying to support Declan, because I know that he was really struggling emotionally and mentally with everything, like starting his own agency, with everything that was going on at home. So I was trying to support Declan through that. But I know there were days where you'd come home and you'd be like this is not working, this is hard, like I'm by myself, I have no support, there's no one there to reach out to. The community's not there. And he was really struggling with that. So we were trying to like work through that at home and with his like you know mum and his sister at the time as well. But I don't know how did you feel at that time?
Speaker 4:I just really, yeah, didn't enjoy it, didn't enjoy it. It was all right when you'd get wins at work and you know the media articles and stuff and the milestones of winning a new client and placing a job. But yeah, I think I got a lot of bad advice in those first one or two years.
Speaker 1:Never seen someone just keep pushing through though the way he did no matter how hard it was.
Speaker 1:I mean touched on a few things just now about it, but like some people would just go stuff this, I'm going to get a job and this is too hard. But like he just kept going and going and going and people were like he was doing all these crazy things and marketing ideas, these safari outfits and all these wacky things, and people like is he all right? What's he doing? And I just said, look, he's giving it a crack. I'm going to support that. So we supported it. But you know, behind the closed doors it was not it really hard. So it's not easy at all when you're in that scenario, but you just have to keep trying to support each other. And there were conversations where it was like you can do this, we support you, whatever you need, like we'll always be there. But at the same time there was like hard conversations, like maybe this isn't working.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I probably wasn't as appreciative as when you're in the moment, because you're so highly strung. You feel embarrassed, all your mates think you're rich, and it's just this hard dichotomy. You didn't have anyone to really like get the sound advice that we would have around us now.
Speaker 2:Were you friends with Blake back then?
Speaker 4:Not really Like we were. We were friendly, but we didn't really talk to each other.
Speaker 3:Yeah so.
Speaker 4:I got Dec into recruitment. We'd friendly, but we didn't really talk to each other. Yeah, so I I got deck into recruitment we've been friends like through high school.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's this weird period from like starting our agencies yeah, we didn't talk for like 18 months you both had an agency you think you would have like no see, like for some reason, when you're in recruitment, generally the the the sentiment is don't speak to any other recruitment agency owners because they'll take your clients they'll you know something will happen where it'll be a disadvantage to you. Generally, a lot of recruiters have the mindset of you know if you, the more of the pie there is. If someone's, you know if someone else is winning over there, that means your pie is getting reduced, you're losing.
Speaker 1:Which is a shame.
Speaker 4:It wasn't until our pies went to zero COVID where we thought we got nothing to lose now and I think we called each other that week.
Speaker 1:Rekindled. It's great yeah.
Speaker 3:So just to give you some context on the Safari outfit, because I heard you go what so what Declan used to do, do you want to explain it?
Speaker 1:You're better at this. You love telling this story. You need to explain this because I think it's better when someone else explains it from the outside, then I'll explain my perspective.
Speaker 3:Okay, all right, so I know. I remember exactly where I was the day that I saw you with your safari outfit. I'm not even kidding with you, I, I'm not even kidding with you.
Speaker 3:I was at the Gabba in the old office sitting there with my screens up, and then your post came up on my LinkedIn and I went what the fuck is he doing? And so I'll give you a rundown on why I reacted that way. So what Declan used to do to do BD get new clients is he used to go cold calling, so basically door knocking. You would go to an industrial park or a corporate park where there's lots of businesses and you would just drop in, give your card, find out who the decision maker is, see if they need recruitment, and so what Declan used to do is he used to dress up like Steve Irwin in a safari outfit because he's on the hunt for new business, and so him and his staff Kind of genius.
Speaker 2:He did it proudly everywhere.
Speaker 3:He did it proudly.
Speaker 1:Everywhere and people were thinking He'd have a pair of binoculars.
Speaker 2:We need to get a photo up on this.
Speaker 1:You should do that for extra crew, is it? Yeah, so that is what he was doing trying to get new work. He was doing anything and everything he could do to stand out to get clients, because he knew that he had to. So yeah, it worked. So.
Speaker 4:I'll tell you the prelude before that. So I would wear a suit because we were always suited and booted. I'd walk around industrial parks and I'd always like it was really hot. People wouldn't talk to you. They'd be like think you're a commercial real estate agent trying to sell their property and they'd be shut off straight away.
Speaker 4:So then and then I kept wearing out my crotch because I'd be walking like 10 k's a day and my pants just kept ripping because you're wearing suit pants and you're not meant to be walking around in them. So I was like this is doing my head in.
Speaker 2:I was going to say you need better pants then. But then I remembered what you were saying.
Speaker 4:And so then I was like I need something where I can just wear like work clothes and get into these industrial sites, so then no one bats an eyelid. And I was work clothes and get into these industrial sites, so then no one bats an eyelid. Yeah, and I was like, what can we do? What can we do? And then, scruggs. At the time I was like what about? Like you know, we're looking for something, looking for candidates, we can help you find them. And then, yeah, the safari outfit and it it's. I started getting results from it because people would be like laughing, they'd be memorable yeah, that I could yeah it'd so yeah.
Speaker 2:I'll do anything for my business.
Speaker 4:Yeah, like I remember walking into this one place and there was about 10 or 12 sales guys on this floor and I walked in and they all just sat up. They're like in rows, like you've walked into a classroom, yeah, and they're like geez mate, how much does your boss pay for you to wear that suit?
Speaker 1:And I was like oh this is the worst.
Speaker 4:I pay for you to wear that suit and I was like, oh, this is the worst. I'm like too much, mate, you wouldn't know I wasn't even paying myself a salary. At the time I was the boss.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and that's the other thing. Declan did not pay himself a salary when he was working in his business, not one salary for like a year. I didn't think it was until we moved to the park. You know what that?
Speaker 4:I didn't think it was until we moved to the park. You know what that?
Speaker 1:was a big problem for us because we were living at home. He was working his butt off, he was getting clients but he wasn't paying himself a salary and that was obviously not working or going down well with me. Because I was like what the hell?
Speaker 3:Why weren't you paying yourself a salary?
Speaker 4:Because the advice at the time was reinvest in the business, try and employ people, try and build a team. At the time was reinvest in the business, try and employ people, try and build a team. You know, at the time they were saying like you know, I didn't have my salary, so like, if I didn't do it, you shouldn't do it. Like, that's probably just the most wrong advice ever. It wasn't until we moved out to Gordon Park.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which I had to put my foot down on. I was like we are moving, we are out, we are getting our own place, we're sitting on our own two feet, we've got two kids. Now we are out, like I had to literally be like I'm gonna leave you if you don't pack your bags and come with us.
Speaker 1:I literally it was, it was brutal. I was like I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm not living under this house anymore. You need to. We need to do this, we need to grow and if we stay here like I'm always the one just pushing and getting in there like little bit, come on, that's the next step. We've got to go and you need to pay yourself a salary. By the way, on the way out, I don't care what it is, but you're paying yourself something. It wasn't until.
Speaker 4:I started having my own rent and extra commitments because, like you only pay to the level of your expenses at the time, so if you have no expenses you don't really go much harder.
Speaker 1:Like looking in in hindsight we should have stayed in the apartment in Hamilton in.
Speaker 4:Hamilton, the worst thing I did was change my whole lifestyle, so like going to gym, going to CrossFit, you know all that stuff. My whole lifestyle changed and then I was like, if this is what business has been in, business sucks yeah because you get no enjoyment.
Speaker 4:what's the point of doing this anymore? So I was like this hard situation of like am I doing the right thing? And then you know the networking event every Tuesday night. I was like I'm doing so much stuff but I'm not actually getting anywhere. It wasn't like calculated or thought out or yeah, so it was a bit of a yeah, your activity was impressive.
Speaker 3:Like you would show up every single day online, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he would write letters.
Speaker 3:Yeah, write letters.
Speaker 1:To like everybody, good air time. You know, yeah, you would.
Speaker 3:he would write letters, yeah, write letters, but he would get everybody good uh, goods airtime yeah like radio tv, all that kind of stuff. But that wasn't making a dent for you.
Speaker 4:Oh, there's a guy news situation. I've got like four clients the next day call me oh really national tv for free. No email. I wrote a handwritten letter to alan jones. He's like one of australia's biggest TV personalities. He's probably like 91 now. But, five years ago. Yeah, we were on Sky News and I wrote him a letter saying you never have a young small business owner in business. I'd love to come on the show and then I was on for eight minutes on prime time for free, wow, yeah.
Speaker 1:There was definitely some high points there, but I think at the time for us it never really like clicked, because it was just hustle, hustle, hustle, like let's get this going. And I think now, where we're at, it's really important to like reflect and appreciate the things that you've achieved, because back then we didn't, because it was just like just get it done. Survival, yeah, and it was hard.
Speaker 1:It would have been easier if we had something like Executor at the time, because I keep saying to Declan like holy moly, our life would be so much more like different and it would have been easier. But you know you've got to go through it to get to the next chapter of your life.
Speaker 3:Yeah, 100%. So when did things change for you guys?
Speaker 1:When we moved out.
Speaker 3:Okay all right.
Speaker 4:It was your birthday in 2019.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yep and then. So that was one change. And then probably the biggest change was when we started chatting again. I reckon Yep, Probably the biggest monumental shift and moved on from other people in life.
Speaker 1:And we also, like I came back to work and then I started my own business, which Declan actually kind of influenced he kicked off Blending Interiors.
Speaker 3:In what November?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so whilst I was on, maternity leave with Sage and Declan was starting his business. I was doing a few interior design clients on the side and Declan said, no, you need to choose, You've got to do one or the other. You go back to work or you work for yourself. And he's in this business mindset like hustle mode and I just went, okay, fine, whatever. And then he just came up to me with this design Like I didn't even create my company.
Speaker 1:He did Really yeah, oh, wow, he literally came up with all the branding and everything and just went here you go, this is your business, it's all set up and this is a present for you, and I was oh, okay, cool. I was a bit. I was oh, okay, yeah, Okay. Well, I guess that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 1:I mean six years, five years later I'm like, wow, that was a great decision, I did that. So, yeah, kudos to Declan for challenging me and pushing me in that direction. But I mean, that's another positive that came out of that journey. So we moved offices together.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we were always together. 16 square.
Speaker 1:We've always worked together. 12 square metres. Yeah, it was tiny. Surely that would have been hard. Yeah, we had four of us.
Speaker 4:Manisha and Sarah were in there as well. Yeah, and then yeah.
Speaker 1:I had two staff at the time. Declan had two or three and we were sharing this tiny little office and gradually, every year or so, we would get a bigger space until we ended up in the biggest space we ever had and all of our staff got along really well and we were working together and living at home together. So I found that, like I enjoy working with Declan, I don't have an issue with being in the same space working together. It's weird, people think what's wrong with you, but I actually really I like it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I together it doesn't?
Speaker 1:it's weird, people think what's wrong with you, but I actually really I like it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like being around when you see, when you see deck winning and he's and he's putting in the effort and he's, he's grinding it out and he's coming home with the wins does that, does that change you the way that you look at him at all? Like, do you ever? Do you ever see him in a different light now that he's not working for someone else? He's kind of the master of his own destiny? Does that ever play a part in how you look at? Look at that, yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean the more wins and the more things that he's achieved. Definitely like it's just incredible. Like I love seeing the growth and the development that you've done. It's amazing and I think from the beginning we've done together but for yourself personally as well like your time and energy you put into your personal self-development as well is really important. So, yeah, I think it just like makes you feel more connected and close eye and I think, yeah, I value that so much more. I'm seeing the progression and I feel so proud, like Like I think that's amazing. I just love seeing that in anyone, but when you see it in your partner, I think it makes you feel so fulfilled because you know that they're winning in life. So, from back then to now, I'm just like go babe.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you rock.
Speaker 1:Damn, let's have another baby.
Speaker 4:I think like have you ever? I heard it on a podcast once and it was like watching your partner go through life without them knowing you're there. So like watching, say, cat walk into a restaurant you're sitting somewhere out the back and you see her naturally engaging and you know people looking up and and then she comes and sits down. It's like watching your partner do life.
Speaker 1:It's like a really attractive thing. Yeah, I totally get that yeah.
Speaker 4:So that would happen like a lot in the workplace. You'd see Dee like with a client or her staff laughing and you'd be like, yeah, get her Go Dee Tell them about how you felt after you witnessed me do my first sales call and my first meeting.
Speaker 1:Declan came along with me Really, oh boy and he was just like you tell the story, because I remember you just couldn't stop talking about it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I was like you've got to start cold calling because obviously that's how recruiters win business. I was like there is no interior designer cold calling anyone They'd be waiting for, like you know, something to fall in their lap, yeah, referrals, or mum's groups.
Speaker 4:And she's like, yeah, right, so what do I say? I'm like just call them and introduce yourself and she gets the website up. And she's like you know, hey, it's Dave from Blend Interiors had this builder just like in her hand. And she's like you've got a dog on your website. Yeah, what's his name. And then, yeah, this most engaging conversation I think I've ever seen someone do, and it was like her first cold call and I was like, well, can you teach me so those types of things? And then, who was your first meeting with?
Speaker 1:I don't remember I think it was a builder or something and I don't know. It was a potential client and you came in on the meeting and I kind of just slayed it just off the bat and Declan was just like, oh my God, that was so hot, that was. I was like what did I do? I don't know what I did, but he was like just really impressed because like you've got to do this, you've got to do that. And here I am just not even thinking Like I just like I just talk to people all the time. I'm not really I didn't good impression because he was very impressed.
Speaker 1:But anyway, yeah, so we enjoyed working together. Like you know, considering it was so hard in the early days and it was like a different journey to get us where we were. Then we eventually were working together doing our own businesses, but it was really supportive like on each other. We'd bounce each other ideas. He could hear tough conversations I might have or issues with the staff that I'd have, and vice versa. So yeah, I think that was like it was fun, it was a good little chapter, that one.
Speaker 3:It was a good couple of years, yeah, yeah yeah, so that was like a good turning point. For sure. And so a good couple of years. You're both winning. You've got your business, dex got his business.
Speaker 4:They're both called.
Speaker 3:Blended, so you're two peas in a pod, and then Declan and I rekindled and then we had the idea about XRecruiter and we started doing XRecruiter and there was a challenging moment when XRecruiter was first started around how much time, energy and resources do we put in XRecruiter or our own agencies? Because really trying to juggle that was somewhat of a challenge. So what was that like?
Speaker 1:on the relationship, yeah, I think it was like kind of going back to the beginning again a little bit financially, and I think that was a little concerning, because we both knew how like much time and energy that required, and money as well, and we just like kind of got to a position where we were like really good. So yeah, doing all of that and reinvesting into another business is always a little bit daunting. I feel like we both knew what had to happen. Like it was like we just have to do. We've got to support each other through this. But at the time it felt like, oh, we're going to have to. Oh, here we go. It's like eating glass again.
Speaker 4:We all thought it was going to happen cheaper and quicker, but it always takes longer and more money.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah so when you say had to go back to the start again, what do you mean Like financially for us? Because you know Declan had to take a time away from blended employment at the time and he was doing a bit of a restructure there so he was, you know, losing staff there so he could put more time over here. So it was more just like how he would balance his time between his business and the new business. And I knew how strongly and passionate and like engaging he was into this whole idea of Exrecruiter and how it would work and I completely support that. So at the same time, you know he's doing less over here and more over there, so he's not making as much money. And then there's more stress back onto me to make more money. And then we had another baby.
Speaker 4:It felt like blended 2.0. It was like blended 2.0 again.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, and then at that time there was another baby on the way, and you know my staff went, so did it put strain on your relationship again? Absolutely. Yeah, it kind of put that strain back on again a little bit, not just like on a different level, probably not as hard as the last time, just a little bit more like I don't know how you would say it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it was probably just more money circulating around again. It wasn't like a small situation. We had the house, yeah, we had a house there. More money circulating around again, it wasn't like a small situation.
Speaker 1:We had the house. Yeah, we had a house there.
Speaker 4:More money into extra credit Like it didn't cost us. It cost way more money to start extra credit than it did starting blended yeah.
Speaker 1:And then interest rates are going up Like a fair bit of stuff going on and a lot of time as well, because I mean, you guys put in so much time in the beginning, like before any of this was created, it was you guys were doing your own businesses, but you were catching up on weekends and it was like late nights, it was like 24-7.
Speaker 3:Like these guys were on the phone like 24-7, right, do you remember?
Speaker 1:They still are.
Speaker 3:They still are, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think they secretly like enjoy it though. So yeah, they're constantly, constantly working, so the time is probably a lot less again and the kids are a bit older, so it's like a bit more of a juggle. So not just financially, but also the time kind of kicks back in again yeah, yeah you two.
Speaker 4:How did you two meet?
Speaker 2:a bit of a candidate recruiter scenario blake serkis the same kind of friendship circle and I was looking for a bit of a life change. And someone we both know was like what are you as that Blake guy? He does recruitment, and so I slid into his DMs asking for a job and he didn't get me one, but he asked me for a coffee that's what you do when you meet candidates you take them for a coffee.
Speaker 2:I said don't worry about the job, I've decided to move home to the gold coast. And he said how about we catch? Up for a coffee anyway, so he tuned me pretty much look, I was picking up vibes of this.
Speaker 3:This girl doesn't want a job, he's he he dms me for a job and goes, oh, I might just go the gc. And so I was like, okay, I'm reading between the lines here, darling, why don't we go for a coffee then, if that's what you're?
Speaker 2:just likey, I was actually. That's just what I do trigger vibes okay.
Speaker 3:So if there are any recruiters out there that are interested to find out what it's like to have a va, support them in their role whether that be to bill more, reduce tasks that they don't enjoy doing or be a more effective recruiter in their role, whether that be to bill more, reduce tasks that they don't enjoy doing or be a more effective recruiter in their niche then we definitely recommend reaching out to the outsource people or top. Reach out to them, inquire on how they can implement a VA in your agency and to support you. And if you mention ex-recruiter or confessions of a recruiter, they will give you a 13% discount off your bill per month on this VA. That will allow you to scale your business, scale your desk and to bill more and make more money. So go reach out to the outsourced people, say confession, sent you, get your discount and see what is possible, what was.
Speaker 2:Blake, like when he met, because he was like jacked already highly successful I'd seen him like for maybe a year and a half or something like that, just in the distance, like we'd never spoken or anything, and he was like jacked. And I remember someone was like do you think that guy's hot? And I was like, yeah, he's all right. And then like what do we know years later? But, um, when we actually started talking and stuff, he wasn't that fit anymore. He'd kind of like like I remember our first date. I like bought a new outfit. I took my really expensive handbag and he forgot, I think, and I rocked up at his house and he looked like he'd been like mowing the lawn and he said to to me oh, I've ordered Chinese. I didn't get you anything, but you can have some of mine if you want.
Speaker 2:And I was just like okay, and I was just like what the hell is this guy? And then, like I thought we had a good night and then he didn't reply. I texted him when I left and I was like thanks so much, I had so much fun. He didn't reply to me until like the next afternoon. I was just like wow, like hard to get Do you mean keep him clean.
Speaker 3:I live and die by that.
Speaker 1:But where were you at this point, like what was going on for you at this time?
Speaker 3:So I think I was 12 months into Venditto, yeah, so things were like things were going well on paper for me, yeah, wild yeah, but it was chaotic. Things were going well on paper for me Wild yeah, but it was chaotic, Like the first 12 months of Venditto. There was a lot of roller coasters, a lot of ups, a lot of downs. I was originally working out of my mum's warehouse, hired a couple of people, then hired a couple of people more and basically hired most of my mates and I, you know, I felt like I was doing it. You know I was achieving what you should be achieving, but it was probably. It wasn't sustainable, basically because we were 24, 25, all the boys would party, they'd go out, they'd be, you know, doing all sorts of stuff. It wasn't sustainable basically because we were 24, 25. All the boys would party, They'd go out, They'd be doing all sorts of stuff and it certainly wasn't a successful workplace long term.
Speaker 3:No HR in that one, yeah, yeah. So mum's warehouse had like a mezzanine level. She would work downstairs, we would work on the mezzanine level upstairs, and so that was like our own little exclusive spot and there would be warehouse pick packers that are picking product and all this kind of stuff out the back. And it got to the point where mum would almost every day have to come up to the mezzanine level and go guys, please stop swearing. The pick packers out the back are getting annoyed on how much you guys swear. And so if you're going to warehouse people going it's fucking loose up there and not enjoying it, then you know you've probably got a problem. And so we had to like I was printing out no swearing signs and laminating them and putting them on people's desks and all sorts of stuff, Like it was just like pure testosterone instinct, like no rules, no anything.
Speaker 3:And when you're like 24 and I trained everybody myself only one person that started had previous recruitment experience they were all averaging maybe 20 grand, 25 grand a month. So at the time it was like 50% comms. And so they were making you know Jimmy's an example were making you know 10, 12 grand gross in their bank account because they're essentially a sole trader. So they're not getting tax taken out, they're getting GST added to it. They've got to manage it all themselves. Yeah, so they get you know, 13, 14 grand whacked into their bank account as a 24-year-old, and you think, well, wee, let's keep the party going. Then, like everyone felt like they were ballers and it was a bit of a crazy time. I certainly had to kind of reinvent myself a little bit, because it was difficult to have expectations on others to be appropriate and be their best selves if I wasn't doing the same.
Speaker 1:And they're your friends, right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, all my friends. So I'm like stop going out and going on benders. You're turning up on a Monday like scattered and you're not productive and they're like come on, brother, you were with me and I'm like, oh yeah, that's a good point.
Speaker 3:And so it was a challenge to try and change. And like for years before this, you know, I was young and a little bit stupid and I kind of like used to be proud to be like kick on King and you know, like I'd I'd party the hardest and all this kind of shit.
Speaker 3:My parents might watch this, so just yeah, so sorry, mr and Mrs Robinson, um and so. So I had this kind of um, this residue of being a bit of a party boy, basically, and it was really challenging to try and change people's perception of me, because they knew who I was between 18 and 22 and so I had to completely reinvent my habits, my behaviors, my social circle. And now when people think of Blake they're like oh, blake never drinks, never. He's like I've got now a polar opposite. I've got now a polar opposite kind of perception when people think of Blake. And it's actually really hard to change people's perception and the only way you can do that is by your habits and your behaviours and your actions, you go to the other extreme.
Speaker 4:What sort of perception is reality?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. Well, it took like a year of. I did a year sober.
Speaker 2:Is that when you guys met? Is that when we first got together? Yeah, I think you just had started, maybe like getting it together like no drinking, no partying, all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 4:It's always when you put those standards in and rules in that the right people come into your life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're welcome.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it worked out better that way. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so staying sober for a whole year like not everyone's, like oh, you're never going to do that. But we went on an overseas holiday. We went to Italy for my dad's 50th.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:My sister's 30th, I went to New Zealand, singapore.
Speaker 2:I wasn't there. You weren't there for those you went to Rome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I went to Italy, Italy yeah, nice. So how long were you guys sort of seeing each other before you, you know, moved in or you know, like you were just focused on work, doing your thing, sober, like reinvented Blake yeah, like reinvented Blake and you guys are just living the life, going, going, traveling, and I think we were together like three years before we moved in together and I think when I got pregnant with Elsie we had only moved in for like two or three months or something and I remember he actually called Declan and was like what's your opinion on this?
Speaker 4:And you were like.
Speaker 2:I remember the call vividly thing Like you come home and Deanna's making dinner and she's kind of in a tizzy and she's not talking, but then Sage will run up and be like Daddy, like this is the best, and I think that won you over, not that you had an option.
Speaker 3:I remember I got a call from Blake Because we were just starting X Recruiter. We were in the process of starting X Recruiter.
Speaker 2:No Ex-recruiter the Carindale house 2022.
Speaker 3:2022. Yeah, true, so we were talking about it. We originally spoke about it spoke about Ex-recruiter in 2020. Yep Registered the company in December 2020. So maybe three to six months prior to that was when our first initial discussions around Ex-recruiter were a thing yeah, and then it took us basically a year of just going backwards and forwards, and what about this? How are we going to do that? Et cetera. And then we found out that Elsie was pregnant.
Speaker 4:Elsie was pregnant Kat was pregnant with Elsie, because I remember the call. I get a call from Blake and he's like, hey, mate, you remember when you found out Dee was having a baby? And I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 1:You knew straight away, straight away, I was like cat's pregnant, isn't she?
Speaker 4:And he's like yep.
Speaker 1:It's so nice, though, that you, you know, called him to, you know, get his advice on that, because at the time you probably didn't have anyone in the friendship circle that had been in the same situation.
Speaker 3:No, it was only Declan it was Declan and my parents were the two calls that I made Declan and my parents and I called Dec because we started to rekindle a little bit. We were talking about extra cruda, we were like slowly getting logos designed and just like slowly chipping away at it. And then, yeah, I mean I'm not going to lie, I mean my first reaction was well, there goes my fucking career he didn't look me in the face for like a good hour, I reckon he was just like oh yeah whatever, don't worry, it's normal you can tell you were frazzled I wasn't.
Speaker 3:I was cool as a cucumber. You came up to me and, like the first time you did it, you did it as a prank.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Look at this. I'm like what's that? She's like I'm pregnant, I'm like interesting and she's like okay.
Speaker 4:Oh, I'm just joking.
Speaker 3:Don't ever joke about that again. And then it happened for realsies and yeah, I just was like okay, how does that make you feel?
Speaker 2:How does that make you feel? Yeah, I feel like you're really good at I never have to stress about anything. So, like when I found out I was like Blake's got this, I'm good, like I don't really have to worry, little do you know, I'm just pumping deck with back-to-back calls.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what's my next move? What do I do here? How do I do this?
Speaker 3:So did that change anything for you in your mind about starting Exrecruiter? Um, it certainly put a spanner in the works. Knowing what I know now, I was extremely naive on what that meant. So having a partner that's pregnant, I was thinking, oh my God, like this is going to distract me. This is going to lessen my success in some capacity. I'm going to have to be up all night, I'm going to be distracted, I'm not going to be as successful as I was planning to be was what I thought.
Speaker 3:And so I was having a chat to my parents and obviously Declan and I was like oh, I don't think I'm ready right now. I'm not financially set up enough to justify having a child. Like I want to have my own house, a bit of money in the bank, like everyone has this idea of being in the perfect spot to justify a child. And if you're not there, some people go oh, I can't have a kid right now, I don't have this in order. And that's basically what was going through my mind.
Speaker 3:And then I was speaking to my parents and I said that to my parents. I was like, oh, look, I'm in the process of starting x recruiter. I'm doing this, I'm doing that. You know I've got all these things. And then my parents probably knocked a bit of sense into me and they said Blake, think about your life right now. You run a business, you're successful, you're earning lots of money, you don't have much drama in your life, you are in the best possible spot to ever have a child. No one could be in a better spot than you right now to have a kid. So you gotta, you gotta like.
Speaker 1:This is the moment and I was like yeah, coming from them, yeah, and I'm like yeah, good point.
Speaker 3:I mean, if I can't have a kid now, like what am I actually? You're? Like, what level of success do I need to justify having a child? And so that's when I, you know, I took the bull by both horns and I accepted my new reality and then it's been the best ever. Yeah, you know, having children completely changes your motivation, your ambition, the reason why you get up in the morning.
Speaker 2:It's certainly a you know what about having me?
Speaker 3:And, obviously, having a partner that supports you.
Speaker 4:You did not have an easy pregnancy. It was through COVID, through COVID. What's the thing you get? I get hyperemesis, hyperemesis.
Speaker 2:I was vomiting all the time in hospital, every like two weeks or so on a drip. It was horrendous, and I was still working for Blake's mum at the time. She owns hair salons and so I would be like blow drying someone's hair and like the heat would get to me and I'd have to like run to the bathroom and vomit and then like it was crazy.
Speaker 3:So but you did a great job. You did amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I lasted to like eight months pregnant, and then I was like I'm done, yeah. So I think that's pretty good crap.
Speaker 3:And Kat had COVID. She tested positive for COVID when she went into labour.
Speaker 2:That's right, yeah, so Blake couldn't come in with me. I had to go all by myself until I was in the birthing suite, and then he was able to come in, and then, when they took me, into the For a few hours I was waiting. Yeah, just while else he was literally born, born. And then when they took me out of the birthing suite he wasn't allowed to come with me, so I was by myself with, like a new baby, no visitors yeah, like it was they.
Speaker 3:They met her as much suits yes they had to come get me in a hazmat suit it was so embarrassing.
Speaker 2:I had to call this nurse and she came in like this suit, you know her hospital doors open like this through the hallways. They'd be like coming through blah, blah, blah and they'd like open the door and I'd walk in a section. Then they'd be like coming through blah, blah, blah and they'd like open the door and I'd walk in a section, then they'd close the door, then they'd walk in the next and open I felt like I had, like the plague. It was so embarrassing but like yeah, like we won't.
Speaker 3:We won't go down the COVID, you know vaccine rabbit hole, but I wasn't. I was. I wasn't allowed in because I didn't get vaccinated, neither was Kat because she was pregnant. And so, yeah, they certainly behaved like we were the worst humans in the world. And then, yeah, only been in the birthing suite for a couple of hours and then being like all right, you've got to go home now while Kat stays there. I was just texting Kat and calling her.
Speaker 2:You didn't see Elsie for like three days. I think she was three days old, wow.
Speaker 1:Really. Yeah, I would have been demanding. It was crazy Hectic.
Speaker 3:I was just waiting at home and that's your first child. Yeah, I'm just like waiting at home.
Speaker 4:I remember asking Declan about it we all got sick from the Christmas holidays. That's right, there was a.
Speaker 3:Christmas party. There was a Christmas party and everyone got COVID.
Speaker 2:Yeah and yeah, I was just sitting at home for three days just getting photos and videos and like I wonder when they're coming home, your new baby?
Speaker 1:yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, yeah, it was crazy.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about some like funny little questions or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's do that, let's make some fun here.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 3:I won't worry about it. Okay, let's bring us on, because you guys can crop out bits and pieces. Yeah, we don't normally crop things, we don't crop anything.
Speaker 4:Oh, we will now. What's Blake? What's home? Sum up Blake at home in one word, Because we see the work Blake Calm.
Speaker 2:He's so calm Like I would have no idea what's going on at work. One because he doesn't tell me. Two, because he's always just there's no reaction to anything. I'm like how was your day? He's like good, just had lots of meetings. What did you do today?
Speaker 3:like you just yeah, I don't know, I don't. I don't normally share. I, rightly or wrongly, I keep work and private life extremely separate. To give myself an escape. Yes, like if I came home and just like pumped cat with, like everything that happened one, I'd have to relive all the shit that happened for the day Two. Then she'd start asking me questions about it and make me think more about it and be like fuck, hang on a second. That's really bad, isn't it? And then I'd wig out even more. So I Maybe we should try this approach for a month.
Speaker 1:I'm down because we obviously talk about everything, so when he comes home it's literally that scenario.
Speaker 4:Oh, really, it's us. Yeah, I've spoken to a lot of business people and some are like take your partner on the journey, but they don't need to hear about the day-to-day.
Speaker 1:That actually is true, though, because I remember there was a lot of.
Speaker 4:I feel like sometimes you want to pry it out of me like tell me what happened. No, not all the time.
Speaker 1:But sometimes he would come home and he would just unload and I'd be like and I got to the point where I was like I'm starting to be stressed, just like listening to these conversations and the things that you and Blake are dealing with at work and you know the positives, I want to hear the positives, but the negatives I was just like I don't want. I try to like sort of not get involved in those questions, but I like to know the good stuff. I'm like what happened today? Tell me something good.
Speaker 1:And then he'll be like unraddle something off my mouth. Okay, I don't know about that.
Speaker 3:I think the most that I share is you know, what happened with our finance team recently is maybe the conversation is hey, just so I let you know work's going to be really engaged, or at home as I normally am, and then it's like okay, yeah, you're like all right.
Speaker 2:What is your reaction, kat? Are you just like okay, yeah, I think, is there anything I can do to?
Speaker 3:help. I'm like no, and she's like okay, cool. Well, just let me know if I can.
Speaker 2:I'm like all righty, I think, like I'm so into like the kids and doing everything with them when he's doing his own thing, I'm just like cool, I don't have to cook dinner for you that night, I don't have to like tidy up if you're not going to be home. So like, sorry, I'm not as like, do you want me to ask you more questions?
Speaker 3:No, no, no, I actually like. I like the degree of separation between work and home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just try and keep everything really calm. Calm like although it may not seem like it, but like the bed made fresh towels, so like when he comes home it's like peaceful and he's not like stressed. I don't have to do anything when I get home. Yeah, I basically go home. Can I come live?
Speaker 3:with you. Yeah, there's a sparkling water next to my bed.
Speaker 4:You and maybe a couple other people that hold a robe up, and he's like putting it Blake's coming in, guys get ready. Great branch. That's what it's like. Yeah, yeah, legit.
Speaker 2:We're totally different Perspectives on households. I think yeah, well, you come into our place and it's like absolute chaos.
Speaker 1:There's a dog running around. That's like Jumping on the table. There's, you know, children running around Doing what they do.
Speaker 1:But I'm trying to work at the same time and I'm yelling at Declan you need to do dinner, like I mean, we juggle it well, and I think now I've taken a little bit more of a step back from being so hands-on with the business that I have been fortunate enough to be able to take a bit of time back with the kids. But prior to that it is crazy, like the juggle's, insane, and I think that can relate to a few stresses for Declan when he comes to the office. So I'm trying really hard to pull back a little bit. Maybe I could take a page out of your book Kat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your dynamic's different. You're like I don't work, so I don't have that stress at all. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I would find it really challenging to be in that yeah um, being that type of dynamic? Because for me, I need to know exactly what to expect when I get home yeah and so if I, for example, like you're, you're working, dex, just finished a big day of work and you're like, sort, sort dinner out for the kids, please, yeah, i'm've got stuff to do If Kat said that to me I think I would wig out. I'm like what are you?
Speaker 4:talking about.
Speaker 2:Can we pump him?
Speaker 4:Let him pump him, I wake up, hey, I need you to drop me off to get car service, and then can you drop Sage off and I'm like oh fuck, oh man, Look, I'm trying Every day.
Speaker 3:It's just like training you know what I mean. Sometimes I get home and Kat says can you look after the kids for a few minutes? I need a shower. I'm like, oh, you had all day to do that, why are you doing it during my time?
Speaker 2:And then I'm trying to have a shower and he's got Tommy like near the door. He's like how long are you going to be? Or, like the other day, I, a three-minute shower, making her feel guilty.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That doesn't fly in our household at all. Declan does fall asleep a lot, though, so when he falls asleep I'm just like go wake up, daddy.
Speaker 2:Blake goes to bed at seven before Elsie and Tommy. Sometimes he's like daddy's going to bed. Bye guys.
Speaker 1:And we're like, yeah, yeah, you need to get a muscle mat and you just don't even need a mattress, you just fall asleep. Yeah, that's, everyone needs a muscle mat. I think we're getting better at it. But I mean, I think I'm getting better at it, like you know, making you stress less so what have you done?
Speaker 3:what have you done over the last few years to be able to manage your relationship and have a better connection at home when, like, life is stressful, life's a hundred miles an hour. Kids are running around Like. Is there any strategies that you've been able to implement? I know one, declan does, where he speaks to himself before he walks through the door.
Speaker 1:He does it all the time, maybe you explain what that is.
Speaker 4:Yeah, like reframe yourself before you come in the house. I'm not perfect, I think. Last night I walked in on the phone to Theo and he's like get off your phone. But yeah, more often than not I'll pull up at the car, do some deep breathing, be like I'm coming in to be my best self to the kids. Come in calm. So when Sage runs up and is like Daddy, I'm not like Oi, it's like, yeah, what's going on? A bit more chill deal with that situation.
Speaker 3:Do you do that? No, you have to think about it. I do that from time to time when I know I'm not being present. Sometimes I'll go I need to be my best self right now for my kids and then I'll go. I don't need to put my phone down and just like do this. But sometimes it's hard when you don't have a process in place and a time that you do it religiously, it becomes extremely reactive and you have to proactively put energy into thinking about being present with the fam when you're working.
Speaker 4:So it's probably something I do from time to time, but I could probably be better at it, and I think what's her name that we chat to? Abulimba Terry, yeah.
Speaker 1:She's our little golden gem Terry.
Speaker 4:Yeah, terry, we've seen her for ages. What's that mean?
Speaker 1:We are totally all for couples counselling, just so you know, because I think it's really important. When things are really tough, like what we have been through, you do lose yourself and each other in those times. So we have touched base with Terry on and off occasionally when things have been really challenging for us to try and reconnect, to be on the same level emotionally and mentally more often than not, your intentions and what you think about are the same yeah but your way of communicating that to each other is really hard so we're like.
Speaker 4:So then you clash and then when you actually sit there and someone gets a third party perspective, it's like you actually mean the same thing and you're like oh sweet and then like michael, with his mindset coaching like yeah yeah, having experts, that's what I've never did until maybe 2022. Yeah, I think the mindset stuff is really helpful. Even like how to parent kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we get a lot of help, it's like oh, archie never listens.
Speaker 4:It's like well, mate, does he know the rules? You're like, oh no, I have to tell him every day.
Speaker 1:So we print them and we write them. Why don?
Speaker 4:got housekeeping in the office. You've got a position description for everyone at the office. Do that at home. You're like, oh okay, like yeah, his brain's developing at a different stage and just like all those little, like tidbits of advice that actually add value from a parent who's raised kids, and we also try and do we lock in time to do like date nights?
Speaker 1:Like we try and lock in time to be like, okay, we're going to go do this together and you're going to show up, you're going to be present, I'm going to show up and we're going to like go on a date. And then we just like try and do that, but we lock it in, like we'll literally go okay, look at the diary, book it in for the month.
Speaker 4:Month in advance.
Speaker 1:Month in advance and we have to commit to it. And that's just like when we go, like you know, hash out a few things together that we're sort of not in agreeance with.
Speaker 3:What do you talk about? Like, so you both sit down and Terry says so what's been happening?
Speaker 1:Yeah well, she knows us really well because we've seen her through some of the toughest times in our relationship, like when, you know, declan was going through some things personally with you know, his family and I was pregnant, so we had a lot of stuff happening. So she helped us sort of reconnect and come back together because we were like, yeah, we're throwing in the towel, this is just too hard, but we didn't want to, but it was just the easiest option at the time. So when we see Terry, we will chat to her about you know where things are at, how have we been? You know, she'll just like delve deep and just ask us questions and we're like actually, yeah, that really pissed me off, y Z, and we need to be more present in these type of events. Whatever the problem is at the time, what was a recent one that we were having issues with? I think it was like more just communication in general is like a big one. And then the kids, because there's so much going on and I'm not working. I mean, I am working.
Speaker 4:Deanna's love language is time.
Speaker 1:So when we don't have time together, that yeah, like I get annoyed and because I don't feel like I'm getting any time with Declan. So yeah, we just break down like what the issue is at the time and we figure out why we're there and just rehash things out.
Speaker 4:That yeah giving yourself permission to do things.
Speaker 1:I struggle with a lot yeah, declan finds it hard to do that, so we have to try and like work through you, taking time for you and not feeling yeah, interesting, yeah, what, what?
Speaker 3:what would that be for us?
Speaker 2:what would I mention to the counsellor that I don't like about you?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah um, probably just being present, like I feel like you're always 10 steps ahead, that he misses like what's happening in the moment and like a lot of the time when I try and I'm like, remember this, remember that he has no idea what I'm talking about, and just little things like that. Like I don't want you to look back on your kids and not remember them growing up, because you're so like you're trying really hard to make a good future for us, which is amazing, but you're not present a lot of the time and you're always on the phone.
Speaker 3:Yeah, my turn Okay.
Speaker 4:You got any last words, kat, you want to add to that.
Speaker 3:Oh my God. I think the only thing that we ever have issues with is when Kat doesn't close the door after herself.
Speaker 4:Come on mate.
Speaker 3:She has got a problem with leaving doors open Doors, cupboards.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah you get home and everything's got a problem with leaving doors open.
Speaker 3:Doors, cupboards, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get home and everything's got a hinge. She's got a hinge, it's open.
Speaker 2:Everything's open. I can't help it.
Speaker 3:I don't know what it is, Mate we had moss and mozzies in our car the other day because she left all four doors open and the back open and the garage door open, so all of these bugs. In the right time, overnight, yeah, and then all these bugs just came in and just like multiplied into the car. So we get in. The kids are strapped in and they've just got mozzies pumping them and they just can't get out. And I'm like Kat, this is why you need to close the door after yourself.
Speaker 2:That's the worst thing. You're doing pretty good. You guys are great. You guys are goals there.
Speaker 3:I love it.
Speaker 2:I'll try harder. Yeah, I don't think we have any issues. I'm getting better.
Speaker 3:You know closing the fridge door, a couple cupboards, the car door, Like there's probably, if I was to, you know cherry pick something, that's probably the only thing.
Speaker 4:Just close the door after yourself. But I think the being present thing, that thing compounds.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's important. Yeah, it's really important.
Speaker 4:Yeah, my mum and sister used to be like you're just glazed over. You're physically here, but you are not here right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's like I reckon that was like the root of the issue, though.
Speaker 3:Like with everything this is everyone off?
Speaker 1:That kind of just stems the big pimple problem.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Because you're just not there, you don't listen to things, and then you miscommunicate because you're not there listening.
Speaker 4:So how do you be more present? You physically have to like make a genuine effort.
Speaker 1:Yeah, put the phone away, and sometimes it might be a reminder from a person that you're with like you, or a friend or whatever, like a family member that knows that you're not really there, that they feel comfortable saying that, like I'll just be, like Declan, like you need to like show up right now, like now's the time.
Speaker 4:I had to make a conscious effort to be like all right, I'm going to actually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think you said that when we went to New Byron Bay on holiday, you were like I'm going to put my phone away. I'm going to be really present with the kids.
Speaker 3:Did I do that?
Speaker 2:Did it last?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think he had being present with the kids Trying really hard to be present.
Speaker 3:It doesn't take as much energy just to sit there and daydream than to be present with the kids.
Speaker 2:It was an awesome couple of hours.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 4:But yeah, I guess like yeah, you just want to have it all at the end. Like you know, we do it. So you know, hopefully one day our future looks different than what it is now.
Speaker 1:I think it's all worth it.
Speaker 1:The challenges different than what it is now. I think it's all worth it. The challenges and the journey and whatever that may look like for both of us. I think it's all worth it in the end, and the satisfaction of what it will be and what it is being is just probably something you'll never get to do in another life. So it's exciting to be a part of it together and sharing this journey with the kids growing up together. The business is going really well for you guys. Xr Ladies is on the way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we've got an.
Speaker 3:XR.
Speaker 1:Ladies.
Speaker 2:Just going to drop that one in there. Wives and girlfriends of recruiters.
Speaker 1:Anyone wants to join Creating a community for the ladies.
Speaker 4:Tell us about this, because I reckon this is awesome. I feel like this is.
Speaker 2:Deanna's baby, so you can explain. She's the admin on the group.
Speaker 4:Have you accepted your manager role yet?
Speaker 2:I'm seeing what the pay is first.
Speaker 1:Cat's a numbers gal. She's got it from black, I think, because you know, like we have shared today, there are so many challenges and wins and highs and lows of this whole journey. For everybody, whether you're starting a business, whether you have a challenging life at home, whether you're going through some stuff. Personally, I just love the fact that we can bring a community together of partners, of people that are starting agencies in XRecruiter or a part of the journey in general, like staff, wives, husbands, whoever it may be, but just creating a group where we can all get together and just support each other. So, you know, we want to do a group, we want to do a ladies' day out for lunch, where you can maybe one day bring the kids, do a kids' activity, like whatever it may be and however big it may grow, I don't know, but it's really just to create new friendships and to just you know, I guess build a good connection with people out there.
Speaker 3:You know why I think it's really special. I've had multiple calls from partners of Execruder to call me and say, hey, I just want to give you a call. I don't know how to tackle this at home. But ex isn't present. You know he's working his ass off. He needs like to chill out what should I do.
Speaker 3:And so like getting personal calls from partners and saying, hey, I need a little bit of a hand at home here, like that's a super special moment where not everyone gets that. And so if there's agency owners out there that are like ripping it and trying really, really hard at the detriment of their relationship which happens, it happens for everybody then at least that person in their relationship has someone to speak to. And like if there was a support network for like, hey, my partner's doing this, my partner's doing this, how do I tackle this challenge? And all of you are also going through the same thing It'll just increase the odds of success and fulfillment and happiness, uh, at home being able to communicate this with each other that's how it started, didn't it?
Speaker 2:we were at a dinner and there was a lot of like wives and girlfriends there and we found out that we were all going through similar things. Like, oh yeah, he does this, he does this. And I think we started the facebook group the next day and we were like, if you you ever need anything like, we're here, we get it. We understand, and then maybe they can vent more to us and not annoy the men as much while they're working.
Speaker 1:Well, they're in the early stages of starting a business. So I know for us that was hard. So if I can shed some light, like it's going to be okay and you will get through it, then I'm 100% like their fangirl, like you're okay and you will get through it, then I'm 100% like their fangirl, like I will support them through that and so will you. But yeah, I just think it's hard for people to go through it alone, especially if you don't have family here or friends that are in the area. So, yeah, that's kind of where it all stemmed from and we're really excited, aren't we, kat?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're having our first one. You guys are on dad duty, yeah.
Speaker 1:So excited for that Dad duty for you guys.
Speaker 3:You're going to have to hang up the rope Half an hour. One hour catch up for you guys, Are we?
Speaker 1:coffee. Are you calling me? Where are you? But there is a Facebook page, so it's called. What's it called? Xr Ladies.
Speaker 4:Yeah, XR.
Speaker 3:Ladies of XR there we go.
Speaker 1:Sorry, it's all new, so we're just getting it, but please swing us a message or join in if you want to, because we'd love to support anyone out there that's along for the journey.
Speaker 3:So to clarify could anyone join or?
Speaker 4:is it only the? Are you doing a bit of a cat, leaving the door open? Yeah?
Speaker 1:Okay, look, this is XR people particularly.
Speaker 3:Sorry, sorry, guys particularly sorry sorry guys, but um, you know, who knows, it could expand. We could have public events. Yeah, I think it would be nice to have a just an open group of that because that I mean. The one thing that I learned when declan and I first got together around running our agencies is we're all traveling the exact same path yeah we're just on slightly different timelines.
Speaker 3:I was six months ahead of declan you know it's someone else's six months, uh, ahead of me and, like all of our timelines, like if we can just get us all together and and share the experiences and what happens, we're going to be able to shortcut all of the pain and the suffering that can come with starting a business. So anyone that's running an agency, I think, I think it would be a good incentive.
Speaker 4:Cool, totally. That'll be awesome and you've got your first event on the 23rd of.
Speaker 2:November 22nd, I think. Is that it? It's 23rd.
Speaker 1:I'm no good with dates, so it's a Saturday 23rd of what.
Speaker 4:November. What are you doing? Oh, okay, can we find out? It's.
Speaker 1:You're in the group Before the ladies, you don't even think you guys are in the group.
Speaker 4:Sorry, I'm not allowed to be Girls only. Yeah, it's girls only.
Speaker 1:You'll get the invitation when it's time to look after the children.
Speaker 4:I guess that means another Fiji trip.
Speaker 3:I think so Another work trip. Yeah, another work trip. Let's go somewhere a little bit further Out of APAC.
Speaker 2:And we're coming should do execute a holidays like family building holidays.
Speaker 1:Yeah, rewards for the wives and girlfriends yeah, I love that, the real hard work is in the room yeah well, you guys wouldn't do what you do in here if we didn't do what we did back at home 100 percent yeah, 100 percent.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, we owe a lot to the girls that support us. So, um, it's certainly a a refreshing and a nice feeling to know that, whatever we choose to do, we're supported by you both. So thank you very much.
Speaker 4:Thanks, babe.
Speaker 1:Thanks for working so hard for us. Yeah, you guys are absolutely slaying it and exciting things to come.
Speaker 3:Thank, you Well. Thanks for jumping on Confessions of a Recruiter's Partner. We'll chat to you next time.
Speaker 4:Tell all, tell all. See ya, thanks guys.
Speaker 3:Thanks for tuning in to another Confessions of a Recruiter podcast with Blake and Declan. We hope you enjoyed and got a lot of value and insights out of this episode. If you do have any questions or you would like to recommend someone to come on the Confessions podcast, we would love any introductions and remember the rule of the podcast, like share and recommend it to a friend. Until next time.