Getting After It

121 - Ally Rossell: Choosing the Hard Road (and Why It’s Worth It)

• Brett Rossell • Season 4 • Episode 121

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Today on the Getting After It podcast, I’m joined by a very special guest—my wife, Ally!

We sat down (matching mustard chairs and all) to have a real conversation about trying hard things, embracing the discomfort of being a beginner, and staying consistent without losing your sense of self-worth.

Ally shares her journey from being terrified of recording podcasts to launching Siblings in Crime with her brother, her struggles with body image and running confidence, and what her dad taught her about "doing the hard thing first."

We also reflect on building self-worth based on identity as a son or daughter of God—not just on achievements.

This one is packed with laughter, honest stories, and reminders we all need:
 You can be proud of yourself and still demand more. You can fail today and still get after it tomorrow.

Key Learnings from This Episode:

  1. "Being a Beginner" Is a Muscle You Need to Flex - Growth lives on the other side of starting badly. Every new beginning will feel awkward—and that’s a feature, not a flaw.
  2. You Can’t Tie Your Self-Worth to Goal Achievement - Missing a goal doesn’t mean you’re worthless. Your value is rooted deeper than what you accomplish.
  3. Consistency Isn't About Perfection—It's About Showing Up - You’ll miss days. You’ll feel off. What matters is getting back after it the next day without beating yourself up.
  4. Discipline Is a Daily Decision, Not a Personality Trait - Structure and repetition build momentum. If you're struggling with consistency, make the hard things automatic, not optional.
  5. It’s Okay to Be Disappointed, But Don’t Stay There - Disappointment signals an opportunity for adjustment—not a reason to tear yourself down.
  6. Surround Yourself with People Who Push You to Level Up - Ally shared how having community—whether a running partner or a podcasting buddy—made it easier to stick to hard goals.
  7. Perspective Is Everything - A missed workout doesn’t define you. A tough run isn’t failure. Move forward with grace and keep stacking good days.

Challenge for Listeners:
What’s one thing you’ve been too scared to start because you didn’t want to look like a beginner?

Choose it—and start messy this week. You don't need permission to begin.

If this episode helped shift your mindset, share it with a friend who needs to hear it—and don’t forget to leave a rating and review. Every bit of support helps us keep getting after it.

Stay humble. Stay disciplined. Keep getting after it.

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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.

This podcast is built for you—the dreamers and the doers. My goal is to provide a space where you can find inspiration, learn from others, and feel empowered to chase what matters most to you.

Your dreams are within your grasp. All you need is the commitment to Get After It.

Send us a text

Brett:

Explain to me what frumpy means.

Ally:

What you don't know, what frumpy means.

Brett:

No, tell me about it.

Ally:

Take a look right here. This is what a frumpy outfit looks like Just baggy, unflattering kind of.

Brett:

Well, you're wearing my Jordan sweater Right.

Ally:

So Right right.

Brett:

Anyways, I was just curious. She started off the podcast saying I look frumpy, I'm like I don't know what that means.

Ally:

How do? You, curious you. She started off the podcast saying I look frumpy, I'm like I don't know what that means.

Brett:

So, okay, you can tell you're a boy, that you don't know what frumpy means. Well, that's okay. All jokes aside, welcome back to the podcast, my love thank you, glad to be here and if you're this, we're making progress on the studio. It's happening step by step, but it is happening.

Ally:

Look at our matching mustard chairs.

Brett:

We got mustard chairs. Can't beat that your cup is hiding your beautiful art. There's the original Getting After it artwork.

Ally:

Kind of embarrassing Painted by my lovely wife. I did it for you.

Brett:

I know it's very nice I'm in love. That's why how are things going?

Ally:

things are great. This is probably the longest stretch of time that I get to be in utah that is true in a long time. Blessings so I think I'm here for five days, which is exciting very nice um, but yeah, just same old, same old. I wish there was more. Just working running, haven't been very crafty podcasting yourself, podcasting myself. But yeah, just same old, same old. I wish there was more. Just working running, haven't been very crafty lately Podcasting yourself. Podcasting myself. Yeah, that's been quite the trip.

Brett:

How has Siblings in Crime been going?

Ally:

It's been fun. Blake and I are in different states most of the time, so trying to figure out how to make podcasts in different states has been kind of a nightmare. We never have good lighting, we never have good audio, we never have good video, so it's been a work, all the pains of starting a podcast. Right, so it's been kind of not a pretty start, but I mean we're at episode 19 this week. This coming week's going to be the 20th.

Brett:

That's legit, so you're going to be in the top 1%. That's what that means, huh 20 episodes is the top 1% of podcasters.

Ally:

Look at us Siblings and Crime top 1%. Love to hear it. Let's go.

Speaker 3:

You want to know why? I actually have some facts on that. Oh, your data. Tell me more.

Brett:

So I looked into that a and I told you yesterday I was watching a bunch of videos and stuff about podcasting specifically and I found this one video that was actually legit and I wonder if it'll come up here. Let's see. Yeah, here we go. So I thought this was interesting. Talked about like how to create a successful podcast and all this stuff, which I really enjoyed, but he had this like whole part of of key data points and stuff like that from podcasting and I'm trying to find where it was at here. It is Okay, we're good. So top 10 podcasts in the world. They capture 35% of all podcast listeners 35 is crazy.

Ally:

actually it's insane.

Brett:

So today there are 450,000 active podcasts. They capture 35% of all podcast listeners. 35 is crazy. Actually it's insane. So today there are 450,000 active podcasts. During COVID, guess how many there were. Take a guess Everyone's at home. How many people do you think started a podcast?

Ally:

So started a podcast or kept a podcast rolling.

Brett:

Started one and now no longer do it. So they were active at the time, but now Think about like now there's only 450 000 active podcasters okay, so you're making it sound like it's a fat number, like a million or something insane that's close.

Ally:

Yeah, 800 000 people during covid um, so there's been quite a big drop off which is funny because I feel like nowadays is when you're seeing all the tic-tocks that are like everybody's starting a podcast right now yeah which is true.

Ally:

Podcasting is like a fun thing to do. Yeah, it's cool, but I'm shocked that there was more. I mean, it makes sense as far as everyone was home, but I'm shocked because I feel like that's when podcasting was just starting, so not as many people knew about it or like had the equipment for it. I think it was like kind of just getting big like 2019, 2020 yeah, that's.

Brett:

I mean jaco podcast. That was like my first podcast I listened to all the time. Started listening to that in 2018, when it like first launched and honestly, I think like the podcasts that are successful are just the most consistent ones. Um, because, like joe rogan, he's the number one podcaster.

Ally:

He's been doing it for 12 years but he was also famous before and he has like really interesting guests yeah, but it's because he's done it for so long right, right. I mean obviously, the more you do something, the better you get, typically yeah that's like usually a common trend. Those go hand in hand, um, so I guess I can definitely see that correlating you've seen in your own podcast I mean we're only 19 episodes in, but I definitely feel a lot more comfortable.

Ally:

Yeah, first time you had me on your podcast, I just about passed away, swore I'd never do it oddly enough, one of my most popular episodes though. Probably because everyone was curious about us dating.

Brett:

That's fair.

Ally:

All of our old high school friends are probably like what the heck. Yeah, now we're old news. No one cares anymore.

Brett:

I don't know I think we're pretty cool?

Brett:

Yeah, we're pretty old news. Whatever, who cares, fair. But yeah, I mean that is. One thing I was going to ask you is, like, how have you found your voice? How have you gotten more comfortable with doing podcasts? Because, yeah, beginning like when I asked you to do that first one, I remember we were up in a park city and we went into some random hotel like conference room and we just recorded a podcast. I think it was like 30 minutes long, 40 minutes long, maybe, um. I remember when we finished I was like that was my longest podcast. Look at, maybe, um. I remember when we finished I was like that was my longest podcast. Look at you now. Look at me now. Um, but like, yeah, you were terrified not to call you out, but you were scared I was like sweating and troubling.

Brett:

How have you gotten to the point to now, like you sit down. You're like okay, let's get this going probably putting in the reps.

Ally:

I think, of course, been on your podcast. It's like I'm comfortable talking to you yeah I was nervous at the time we were freshly dating. That's not true. We were like playing a game married already, but still I guess yeah yeah, but it was my first time.

Ally:

I hate my voice, I hate being on video. I've always felt awkward in front of a camera and so I just knew it's gonna be like prime uncomfortable alley. Yeah, but of course, the more I've done it I mean I'm just talking to you if I was on someone else's podcast, maybe I'd be more nervous, just because I'm not as comfortable yeah, we were literally upstairs and I was like you want to go do one?

Brett:

right now and you're like, yeah, set up the studio, which is why we have two chairs now. So thank you we made it but, yeah.

Ally:

So I think I I'm just obviously comfortable talking to you, so that helps. And then now that blake and I started a podcast. I've just had to practice. Yeah, I was so unsure about starting a podcast because one that just never been appealing to me in the beginning. I enjoy stories, though I wish I was a better storyteller and I'm working on it and I've never talked well. That's something that really I think it was more of an insecurity where I have never been very well-spoken. I mumble, I talk fast, all the things. That's a nightmare for a podcast listener, and so I think it came from a place of insecurity. But as time has gone on, I think I've just cared less. Yeah.

Ally:

Cared less about what people think. I try to slow down a little bit, not by much.

Brett:

No, I'm loving this though because, like, everything you just explained was a reason for you like not to start a podcast. Like you're like I shouldn't do this, I don't speak great, I'm not a great storyteller, like I'm not good, I don't like listening to my voice, right. And you're like, yeah, I'm still gonna start a podcast, why not? And I mean, I all the time I think people want to do something, like they want to go and try something, but the same thing that you just explained. Like they'll come up with stories on why they shouldn't do it. And, um, like I'll tell someone hey, you should run. Team tim run 13.1 miles with us. And they're like I'm not a runner, I'm too old for that, I don't want to do it. Meanwhile, like our moms both ran uh, they didn't do the full marathon, but like they both said they'd never run again. Um, I actually don't know if Carmen said that, but maybe she did.

Ally:

Before the race yeah, she used to run a bit. Yeah, she wasn't excited about running originally, but she's gotten the bug because of Team Tim.

Brett:

That's good. It's like the story that so many people tell themselves on why they shouldn't do something. Another example is you being a pilot. It's a very male-dominated industry. Like it's so annoying. Every time we're on a plane people are like oh, you're a flight attendant, even though you're wearing a uniform yeah, completely suited up, you have your wings on and they're like oh, you're a flight attendant.

Ally:

Like no, I fly these things.

Brett:

Yeah, I think that's pretty funny but um, like even that, like you had to fight through all the training and like I remember during the training you were nervous like I gotta fly these things. It's pretty crazy but how'd you overcome it? How'd you just like decide like, yeah, I have all these things going against me, but I want to do this. Like what thoughts went through your head?

Ally:

well, I think the biggest factor of not doing things is no one likes being a beginner it's especially as you get older. You don't really try new things as often when you're young you're putting every sport, you're putting every class like oh sure, do an art class after school, sure, try out gymnastics, whatever. You try everything as a kid and so you don't care if you suck, because everyone's beginners.

Ally:

And you're kind of all just learning. As an adult you're not really put in a situation where you're brand new and you are like the worst at it and I think it'd be definitely an uncomfortable situation. But I have a couple of friends and like I've seen people on social media stuff. I love when people get into new hobbies when they're older and I think I just become fascinated with that yeah trying new things.

Ally:

Like I see people who are like 30 and they're like oh, I'm gonna start an indoor track thing, and you're like that is so funny because indoor track thing oh, I didn't tell you about that no, tell me no, it's just this. She wasn't 30, but she's probably 20s, I don't know. I just saw a video and this girl she just missed competing. Like you don't really compete as much when you get older.

Brett:

It's like maybe in like the workforce a little bit yeah, I mean in sales you'll compete to see who like gets the most. Go to like president's club hopefully that's what it's called.

Ally:

But yeah, so you compete in that way, but you're not like in sports, you're not really pushing yourself competitively physically yeah and so she like joined some indoor track team or something along those lines where she had her. She was like so nervous because it was her first like race yeah that she had and it was like a track me and she just like ran my. I don't know how long it was, maybe it's like a 5k, I don't know, but that'd be fun to do.

Ally:

Actually, that'd be fun to like just like go and do something for the first time you've never done before and I just started really liking that idea of being a beginner again and I think that mind shift of seeing other people be beginners and be okay with it, like not be shy or not be intimidated, not being the best, yeah, and I think that was like the first thing that really sparked my interest in trying to podcast like still painting. That's really all I got going on, but I was like am I trying anything?

Brett:

new.

Ally:

I need to try new things, but I mean those take a lot of time, yeah, but I think that's like where it sparked my interest I think first podcast specifically it's because blake wanted to do it. I'll be so honest. Blake came into the kitchen, was like let's do it. I said, okay, thinking he was joking.

Ally:

And then he's like no, seriously, and it's been so fun, just another reason to hang out with my brother and I know that sounds dumb, but we've always been like brother, sister, not so much hangout friends, and now we plan to hang out and like we talk all the time on the phone and it's been so fun. And so I think community, along with like the interest of trying new things, are the two things that really push me to try new things and and podcasts and yeah whatever, and running like without you, like I don't think I would be where I'm at running I would not be competitive.

Brett:

Not that I'm like running super competitively like I'm going to college or anything crazy, but well, you got a marathon in a month almost and I got ally to sign up for a 50K this year in the Canyonlands.

Ally:

My very first 50K.

Brett:

How do you feel about that?

Ally:

I cry every time I think about it.

Brett:

No, you don't, no, I don't, but I am nervous.

Ally:

I will say we both did 17 miles today. My knee's been bothering me and so I've been doing exercises for that, which I think it helps a little bit. So I think I am recovering a little bit. But thinking about adding another 20 miles on top of that really makes me want to cry. So I'm excited for trail running. I think is the biggest thing I'm excited for. Yeah, I think I would love trail running. I'm just so scared of animals.

Brett:

No, the animals won't get you You'll, you'll be so fast.

Ally:

I'm not faster than a cougar.

Brett:

No one is, you wouldn't even know they're coming, so great, yeah, so that is my biggest fear, too, cougars yes, I'm there's not so much cougars, for sure bears aren't just hanging out here next door that's what I'm saying.

Ally:

Cougars, they're sneaky right, but I think with you and running with blake and podcasting, I think I like having my one person who's kind of going through it with me. I think that really helps me be excited about it. If I wasn't with Blake, I for sure wouldn't have started a podcast yeah if I wasn't with you, I'd probably be jogging three miles every three days and saying like I'm a runner which technically you would be right so don't discredit those people out there who do that not that I'm discrediting

Ally:

but that's how I was like all my life. I didn't. I guess I never called myself a runner, I'll be honest. I but cardio was one of my preferred exercises, but how come everyone hates cardio?

Brett:

why do you like it?

Ally:

okay, I didn't say like it, don't jump the gun. I did not say that okay, why do you?

Brett:

why do you enjoy it more than most?

Ally:

I still wouldn't even say enjoy. I think I'll be so honest. I've always been pretty chunky and everyone says cardio is how you lose weight, and I think that is really why I've always kind of tried to run thinking I was like losing weight when I never was, because I would do like the same two miles and be like, oh yeah, I just killed that and then go and eat a pizza, you know, and so it. Nothing ever triggered for me on how to actually like be healthy, not even necessarily skinny, but be healthy and fit yeah, in terms of like cardiovascular and stuff, and so I I don't. I know I for sure would not be running marathons if I wasn't with you. Nevertheless, a 50k. I barely even signed up for the 50k and I'm with you yeah, but what made you sign up?

Brett:

then you can't say me there had to be something else, because if it's just me, that's that's a rough reason to run a race, especially 50k like you got to have a reason, you got to have the why.

Ally:

I always talk about the why crickets, just kidding crickets, I'm just kidding. No, you're.

Ally:

I will say you're a big factor in terms of if you weren't running ultra marathons, I probably would never thought about it nor would I even know that that was a thing like I'm very unaware of the running community outside of you, and but I would say probably just because we're always trying to push ourselves, and of course, the marathon, we're going for more speed. Like every time you're on a marathon you're going, trying to go faster, but I never thought about trying to make the difficult thing a further distance instead of speed. And don't get me wrong, 50k I'm probably gonna be so slow like that's okay.

Brett:

we'll have Drew with us too, and he's he's going to be faster than me. No, drew, you might be slow. I was pretty slow for my first 50k, so you were not.

Ally:

you literally came in like eighth after throwing up every quarter mile. Don't even pull that on me, but I wasn't, I just thought it would be a fun shift of goal. Rather than going for pace, going for distance.

Brett:

I like that.

Ally:

And I'm always looking at ways to honor my dad and he always wanted to do hard things. So here we go Different type of hard, but still running.

Brett:

Yeah, I mean, I love that. I think it's a good reason. I want to see what you're able to do.

Ally:

Yeah, we'll see if a 50k will ever happen again. I don't imagine going higher than a 50k, but we'll see what I think about it when the time comes I'm excited.

Brett:

I think it'll be good I'm sure it will. I think I'll probably cry quite a bit I mean, come on, think about it us running in the canyon lands, which is a national park that's it that's it you're gonna be a drew or like you're gonna get so bored of us you're gonna go way ahead.

Ally:

Okay, let me tell you this, as I look straight at the camera I'm nervous where this is going well our first team, tim right brett, and I had been dating for like three weeks oh no, you can't bring this up.

Ally:

I was trying to impress you no, I was like but it's like I want to run with you. I was like, okay, sweet. And I was like, just a heads up, I'm super slow. He's like, okay, I don't think we made it to a quarter mile, not even a quarter, I think we made it 0.10. And brett's like yeah, sorry, see, ya dips, you went so fast and I just forced drake and I ran together for a while, but then he cramped up real bad.

Ally:

Right, and so I just forced you that happening. With the 50K, where you're like, yeah, let's do it together, I'm like, yeah, right, okay, and I see that happening for the first few miles and then I'll never see you again.

Brett:

Well, here's my problem. I get competitive in those situations.

Ally:

That's what I'm saying. That's why I don't think you'd be with me, especially because you ran a 50K before. You're going to want to beat your time.

Brett:

Yeah, especially if I feel better. But I bet I could.

Ally:

Oh my gosh, see, I'm never going to see him on the 50K.

Brett:

No. And I'll be like two hours behind Drew so I'm going to finish in like 10 hours around eating, waiting for me, having lunch, having dinner, and then I'll start pulling up you know I think about all the time whenever I'm struggling during a run and like especially when it comes to 50k training like you're on the trails a lot um and like a marathon is a training run.

Brett:

Yeah, it's a training, run, um, but I think about, like sally mcrae's quote all the time, like, choose strong, like what that actually means. Like every time you run, you have I think about, like sally mcrae's quote all the time, like, choose strong, like what that actually means. Like every time you run, you have a choice to bail out, to give into what your body says or to keep pushing on. And what I found with running is that the more I do it, the more I recognize that my body can handle it. But it's a mental game at that point.

Brett:

And so, um, like even today, when we were running 17 miles, like at 15, the back of my hamstring was cramping up so bad and I was like there's no way I'm going to finish this. And then you're like I got four more and I was like how many are you going for? And you're like 17. And I was like, fine, I'll do it too. And then, um, but like, my body got through it and I was able to run pretty quick at the end. But it's always a choice to choose strong or to give in, and of course, if injuries happen, you should give in. But I'd say, if you have any inkling, that you can just keep going and take one step and keep going forward, one step in front of the other, as they say. Then I would say, do it, and I'm sure you'll run into that at the 50k, like I did, and you literally had to run a couple laps with me on that one I didn't have to.

Ally:

I just want to make sure you're okay yeah, it was rough.

Brett:

I mean, you saved me like twice you gave me a headlamp and um. The first is was it the second lap that I was dying?

Ally:

second lap. I ran the whole thing with you.

Brett:

Yeah, that was rough, but.

Ally:

That was frightening, I had the choice to drop out.

Brett:

Like everyone, even you, I think we're like. You know it's okay if you guys, if you drop out.

Ally:

Don't recall saying that.

Brett:

Maybe not you.

Ally:

I said get your crap together.

Brett:

Yeah, I think you did.

Ally:

I think it was only Dina. Dina was like your mom was just worried. I think everyone was like understanding if you dropped out yeah. And I would have been understanding if you dropped out as well, because you were like heat stroke, if you were injured or if it was going to literally cause a medical issue. I would say drop out yeah.

Ally:

And that's why I kept reminding you. I was like either you'd self-harm, like inspect, see if you're actually going to go to the hospital, or if you're just uncomfortable in pain. Definitely a big difference between being in pain and being injured, and I think.

Ally:

I have a hard time identifying those sometimes, especially because my knee's been bothering me lately. It's always difficult to be thinking to yourself is this, if I continue, am I injuring myself? Is it worse? Or if I continue, if I'm, am I just uncomfortable but I can get through it? So being able to identify if it's pain or injury is very difficult, but I think it's something that you just continue to work on, developing as you keep running or keep doing whatever the hard thing is. And in your case, I know how bad. You want to finish it because you're running for Jordan and I want you to finish because you're running for Jordan and for me. I kind of have made a decision that a marathon's a marathon. 26.2, 50k is a 50k half marathon's half marathon. The distance is all that matters. The pace is our pride. The pace is the part where we are striving to do our best. If we're going slow, that takes a hit on our pride, but if you still finished, you still completed an ultra marathon.

Brett:

Yeah, that's true.

Ally:

And so I wanted to kind of remind you when you're going through that if you're walking, I'll walk with you. Like, if all you can do is walk, let's finish the stupid thing, because then you're still an ultra marathoner, even if you're not hitting the time you want to do. It's fair. You did say that multiple times. Well, I think about that all the time because I have a hard time with that. If I'm hurting at mile 10 of 17 miles, I keep telling myself okay, I'm just done like I'm this sucks.

Ally:

I'm like not hitting my paces. I quit, but it's. I think it's worse quitting at 10 miles than slowing down a minute and getting all 17 oh, oh absolutely, but it's so hard to tell yourself to do that, because seeing your average pace go up a minute is like sickening sometimes.

Brett:

It is true, like it is a very prideful thing.

Ally:

It's all pride.

Brett:

Especially like not trying to toot my horn here, but like running a sub three, like I feel like everything after that has to be faster than a sub three, which is hard as hell.

Ally:

but and this doesn't make sense, like that's just your own desire yeah, and who knows, I mean I do love ultra marathons.

Brett:

Right, I've only ran one, but I loved the experience.

Ally:

I thought it was really cool and the idea of it and the idea of it um.

Brett:

So I don't know. I might make a shift later to do that more because, like my legs are stronger, I'm putting on more weight, which I hope is muscle.

Ally:

But he's looking handsome handsome.

Brett:

You heard it here first, but I know I think it's just important to find things to continually challenge yourself while not quitting, so I like that yeah, and that's what I know I'm going to be reminding myself.

Ally:

The whole 50K is. I'm getting the distance done, no matter what. Yeah. Like, even if I have to walk.

Brett:

You know what I'll be reminding myself.

Ally:

Hmm.

Brett:

The man in the arena.

Ally:

Tell us more.

Brett:

It's my favorite quote, teddy Roosevelt. But basically the quote says because I don't have it on me so I'm not going to quote it that the credit goes to the man in the arena who tries and if he fails, at least he failed daring greatly and he's going to go down with the people who have blood, sweat and dust on their face because they tried something great, and not with the cold, timid souls who didn't have the guts to even try. It's probably one of my favorite quotes ever.

Ally:

Teddy's the man.

Brett:

Teddy Roosevelt lived a strenuous life and a lot of lessons that we can take from that. But he is the man, he's a beast.

Ally:

I love his story because, like his whole thing was, he was a scrawny asthmatic kid.

Brett:

Asthmatic, it says it. I'm sorry he had asthma.

Ally:

I just never heard it said like that Asthmatic. I don't know why that was funny to me. I just imagine some man not being able to breathe, child Some child. I had asthma.

Brett:

I still do.

Ally:

Yeah.

Brett:

I'm asthmatic.

Ally:

I don't know why that's so funny to me, I've never heard it as a description.

Brett:

Yeah, but I think that's a cool story too, because he's this skinny kid who has health issues but like his dad's, like build up your body, like get stronger, and so he's like I'm going to go hike and start boxing and lifting rocks and logs, which he did. It was pretty cool, um. And then he built himself up to where, like now, everyone knows him as Teddy Roosevelt, the captain of the rough riders, the guy who would carry a big stick.

Ally:

That's so funny because those are the only things I didn't know about Teddy Roosevelt.

Brett:

That he carried a big stick.

Ally:

And that he was. I don't know about the Rough Riders.

Brett:

I think he was the general of the Rough Riders. He pretty much made this like ragtag group of like hard mountain men that fought in the Spanish-American War and they all rode like horses and stuff and were just nuts Like they rode like horses and stuff and were just nuts like they were crazy. It's like navy seals on horses, maybe not as extensive. I mean, they use swords and stuff too back then.

Ally:

So that's neat. Wild, would you say. Teddy or winston, are you a bigger fan of? Winston churchill really yeah, he defeated the nazis okay, I mean that's a good reason, yeah, but by what they stood, by what they lived by, they seemed like they had very similar yeah very similar, um like mindsets, I would say.

Brett:

But I don't know teddy roosevelt. He did some pretty amazing things, but winston churchill literally had to bear the weight of an entire nation in a world at war because they were the final line for the germans um to break through and the germans would have won and like I can't imagine dealing with that and still being able to like make decisions, to be like, okay, well, I have a clear head, like I understand why the guy drank so much and smoked all the time yeah, this is why I love that.

Ally:

You're a nerd is the only thing I know about. History is through you.

Brett:

Unfortunately, I never paid attention in school when it came to history, you got to be careful. Then what if I get it wrong? That's true.

Ally:

Well, I trust everything you say, so fact check yourself before you tell me.

Brett:

That's fair, true? I like that. I want to go back to something you said about your dad. You said he always talked about doing hard things. Was that a core value he tried to talk about his entire life? Was that something that even as a kid, you noticed him saying things like that?

Ally:

Yes, I don't know if he always phrased it just like that, but he was big on do something that scares you, like when we talked about family goals like every new year's and stuff like that. That was one thing that he wanted us to choose a goal that scared us, whatever that looks like. It could be fitness, it could be financial, it could be whatever. Typically it was a physical goal. You wanted us to choose a goal in every category and usually the physical one was the scary one yeah, do you remember what your first one was?

Ally:

oh gosh, not my first, I don't know. Usually it was like a certain amount of miles or I'd do like a 10k or something and I'm trying to remember, or it's like losing a certain amount of pounds which never got off. You know, like most of these goals I rarely made it through, like march. You know, like these goals weren't lasting long but we would talk about them throughout the year and he kind of check up on us and see how we're doing, and I don't think he was like pushing us to, just as 10 year olds, to try and lose, like five pounds or whatever.

Brett:

I was trying to do when I was 10, which is crazy, but I was packing it on at that age I was like give me all the potato tacos from taco bell oh gosh, 10 years old, I was trying to lose weight my entire life.

Ally:

I can't remember a time where I wasn't thinking about my weight really until like recently, where I'm like comfortable. But I think I think a lot of people struggle with that myself included yeah, I don't mean to go off a tangent. My mom was just so fit when I was like that about that age, like 12 and stuff well, she was a trainer, right, and she competed, right, she was in body sculpting competition when her first one was 50 years old.

Ally:

So see, that makes that's why I was 14 when she did her first body sculpting competition dang and, yeah, she worked at the gym.

Ally:

She was like a cycle, like a cycle teacher and a body pump and stuff. So I always saw her and then I felt so embarrassed that she had a fat kid and that's like how I always saw myself. And so from a really young age I was always trying to like make her more proud, like to have a thinner daughter. She had never said that she wanted a skinny daughter. She had never said like that she was embarrassed at me or anything like that. These are just stories you tell yourself because you see your parents live in a certain way. Yeah, and I I was like so proud of her, but I definitely I had very bad self-talk at that time especially. But my dad definitely always enforced like doing hard things throughout our entire lives.

Ally:

It looked different year to year of course, which makes sense, and he always talked about doing the hard thing first. So, like on Saturdays, even in summer, he'd make us get up at like 7 in the morning. We'd have to do all of our chores, we had to go to the gym or like work out of some sort, and then we could play or take a nap if we're still tired, or something like that. He always wanted us to do chores and exercise in the morning, whatever that looked like. He's like you can go on a walk, you can go on a walk, you can go on a run, you can go to the gym, I'll take you. It didn't matter what it was. He just thought it was really important to do hard work first and move your body. He was big on that, which is funny.

Brett:

I love that.

Ally:

He wasn't even huge on exercise himself. He tried, but he called himself skinny fat because he ate horrible. He just never looked obese. He just never looked obese. Yeah, and we would go on runs in the morning together when I was like 12 and he was like shuffling like he was 80 years old, you know, and I can barely run I'm a little butterball and but we would try. You know, we'd like him and I were kind of buddies in that way. We were about the chunkier ones.

Ally:

Blake was always fit and like really strong with mom and me and dad were always trying to sneaky brownies together. You know we were like bad influences for each other, like we'd go mcdonald's and mom didn't know, not that she would care you need a partner in crime yeah, and he was my partner in crime and that's cute, but he still emphasized how important it was, so he taught me the lesson. It was more like do what I say, not as I do sometimes yeah which is fine.

Ally:

He totally acknowledged that too. He was like I know I'm not great, but I'm exercising in the morning with you guys, you know, and he's going on a walk just like the rest of us. Yeah, um, so it was always taught. I think my mom definitely showed more by getting things done, which is kind of funny, but my dad was like the teacher yeah, I love that but my dad was like, working hard in other ways, like he was non-stop, like for his jobs.

Ally:

He was so good at being present with the family. He was so good at serving like behind closed doors, never knew when he was serving until he passed and everyone's telling me all of a sudden, but like he was always working hard on relationships and making sure that we are comfortable and he had enough to share with everybody. Yeah, like he was so, so good at that. Exercise was a kind of do, as I say, but but he taught me the lessons and mom was a great example of it as well, and so I I've always learned it. It took me 20 extra years to figure it out, but now look at you until I lived with you.

Ally:

Then I was like, oh, that's how it's supposed to be done.

Brett:

Made sense all of a sudden I mean, it's just consistency, really, when it comes down to it which I never had I think it's. Uh, there's actually this quote that I saw on my ipad when I was just looking for um that chat thing, but it's from Jeremy Bentham.

Ally:

Who is that man?

Brett:

I have no idea, but he has a great quote. He says, the rarest of all human qualities is consistency. Why do you think that is?

Ally:

I think it's difficult. I think, well speaking from experience, I'll say that first. All right, Well, speaking from experience, I'll say that first. All right. For me, one being consistent is difficult. Usually it's a hard thing to be consistent with, but I think routine can get boring.

Brett:

Yeah for sure.

Ally:

Doing the same thing every day is so hard for me. I hate when two days are similar and I know that's very opposite of you. You love your, you love your structure, yep, and I do not like structure maybe that's one of the reasons I can be so consistent I think so I mean, definitely makes sense.

Ally:

I think it's kind of part of your personality, with what you like, and I think that's why it's hard for me is because I don't like any two days the same. The gym now has become more of like a daily thing where you don't have to think about it, so it doesn't feel like consistency because it's like a part of your day, which I think that's the trick to making things consistent where it's. It's not a negotiable right.

Ally:

It's just part of your day, as if you just woke up and brush your teeth and I think, because I'm with you, it helps a ton. I didn't. I never learned that every day I was making a decision to go. Now, it's okay, I'm gonna do that. And then what's my decisions after that?

Ally:

yeah so I think that helps. But it's so hard to just decide to do the difficult. Well, usually it's difficult. Do the same thing over and over and over. I think it gets bland a lot of times. I think you need to mix it up. Like I was just talking to my brother and I told him how I had 10 miles the other day. I was like, oh my gosh, I do not want to go run. And he's like, why don't you do like pilates one time and then cycling once, and then hot yoga and then run and then do this? And then, yeah, he's like mix it up. If you're getting bored of your routine, it doesn't mean to stop, it means make an adjustment and keep doing it.

Brett:

Which is good advice. Honestly, if you can add things to add variety to it and make it feel a little bit more novel, then that's a good thing, if it allows you to stick with it for the long haul. But I mean, you said it's like it is a decision that you have to make. Um, ultimately, like from discipline, you have to make the decision to be disciplined, which is why it's so hard, like even with the podcast, with running myself. Like, yes, there's many days when I'm like, oh man, I'm too tired, too tired, I don't want to run, or I don't have anything I can really talk about on the podcast.

Brett:

Maybe I won't record, but it's like it's so important to do those things and stay committed to yourself because, like, your word is everything, and if you say you're going to run but don't actually do it, I think, in my head at least for me, it's like I don't trust myself anymore, like I don't know if I can hold, you know, promises, that great Cause I can't hold promises to myself. Like I'm going to go run, but I don't like that. Only that only hurts me. Um, of course there's circumstantial things that pop up, but if you can and I know it's hard to sometimes make those decisions, but stay committed to it and be consistent. It's hard but it's worth it.

Ally:

Let me ask you this there's something that I know we both struggle with. Okay. Like I said, I was supposed to do the 10 miles on thursday. My knee was really bothering me. It's like sharp pain yeah and it bothered me so bad. You know how mad I was. Yeah, I was like brett was being so nice, like I'm proud of you for trying your lady texted me and said I love you, but I don't want to hear that right now.

Brett:

Yeah, I'm like okay that was me saying, like a nice shut up no, I know, yeah, and you didn't respond and I felt bad about it. I just let you have your thing.

Ally:

Yeah, I needed to simmer for a minute, so let me ask you that we have these goals, we're consistent. How do you have any techniques for yourself which I know that was frightening If you're watching the video yourself which I know you, that was frightening If you're watching the video. If you're not watching, go to Spotify. Oh no, go, look at the video.

Speaker 3:

No, don't do it. We're at 36 minutes right now. Don't go watch it.

Ally:

I just saw the wildest thing I've ever seen. She's making it.

Ally:

That was wild Absurd. Okay, sorry, sorry, go. That was wild absurd. Okay, sorry, sorry, go ahead. Like I was saying that was crazy. Like I was saying I know we suck at this. How do you not put all your self-worth in your goals, because so much confidence come from achieving goals and that's why you set a goal yeah it's like you want the result and you want self-confidence. Goals is perfect for those things. You're not hitting a goal. How do you not put yourself confidence in not hitting a goal?

Brett:

yeah, ruin your worth. That's fair, um, I mean, I'm not perfect at it, but I've gotten a lot better okay, how have you gotten better? Well, I'm going to talk about it. Um, so, yeah, I mean, every time I don't do something like this, like this week is a good example. Okay, I was sick Sunday night. Thank you, parents, and little children Easter and didn't work out Monday, didn't work out Tuesday.

Ally:

Pause. Monday I got in town. We took a five-hour nap on. Monday Went to bed at 8.30, woke up at 8.30 the next day.

Brett:

That's true, that's how zonked.

Brett:

I was out the entire day. I was awake for maybe an hour and a half but struggling, and then, even on that day, when I was stuck in bed, I was like man, I'm a loser, I'm not running or I'm not lifting weights, and it's so irrational to think that when you're in that state, and then, like Tuesday, I was feeling a little bit better, I went to work, um, but like my body was still super weak and I was like, I'll just try and work out when I get home. Um, didn't happen because, again, I was super tired and my body was weak. But that's one of the things that's like circumstantial that I'm. It's a little bit easier to deal with when you do have those thoughts. It's like, well, I've been sick, it's fine. But I would say the best thing that I've learned that's helped me overcome some of those thoughts about like man, you suck man, you're not who you say you are, you're slipping. This is just move on, move on to the next day.

Brett:

You can't change the past, you can't live in the past. It's like what the Stokes talked about Like you can't change the future or you can't look into the future. You can't change the past, so why worry about it. Like live in the moment and I've told you this a few times. But like there are days when sometimes I don't run or lift or anything like that and I feel pretty bad about myself. But then I'm like I'm not going to let that ruin my day. Like yeah, I didn't hit my goal, but I'm not my bad days and there's no reason to let that hold me back for this day. Like I can still do really well at work, I can still have fun with you when I'm home and we can do whatever. Like if I took that attitude and was like man, I suck and I show up to work and I'm like maybe I can't even do my job and I show up at home and I'm like maybe I'm a terrible husband, like it just snowballs into, like terrible thoughts about yourself all day long and I'd say the best thing to do is just move on. Be like, hey, I might have slipped up today, I might have missed the mark today, but tomorrow I'll be back at it.

Brett:

It's just trying to have perspective. Nothing's going to change in one day, but over a week you might see some. I'm saying if you don't work out, nothing's going to change in a day In a week, maybe you'll see some fitness lost In a month. For sure In a year you'll be a different person. That's if you don't work out. But, like you, let one day go by and then you're back out of the next day. It's nothing. It's like same with the podcast, like I missed an episode last week because, or this week I didn't put one out on Monday because I was in Arizona and just made excuses. And I'm like you know what this thing is important to me. I need to make time for it. Even if I'm in Arizona, it doesn't matter, we travel a lot. I have to make time for it. So I would say it's taught me to have perspective as a long-winded answer, but I hope it helped.

Ally:

That makes sense. We talk about perspective a lot.

Ally:

Yeah, it reminds me of a video I saw once and it was along those lines. This person just like a visual of that exact concept, like pouring a glass of water and barely spilling and then end up just dumping the whole thing over because like that's how it is, like oh, you're taking your laundry to your bedroom or something. You drop a sock, so you just dump the whole laundry basket. It's like really how it is, like you had one bad thing and then you just throw the day away. Yeah, so it's like I don't remember the other visuals that they um did in that exact example, but but the concept stands where you can either have a bad moment or make it a bad day, or make it a bad week or whatever, and I understand that it's definitely hard to have that perspective once you're in the heat of it. Right.

Ally:

Because it's so frustrating sometimes and not even with just exercise, Like you'll have like a bad grade or something and you're like I'm going to flunk. You know, it can be a little dramatic.

Ally:

I was just thinking, as you're saying that, with perspective, and you know I've been talking a lot about thinking like celestially, or we say like heavenly think in the live in the present, but like think forward at the same time. And I was thinking about like when I was really frustrated on Thursday, the only thing that was helping me calm down was starting to listen to Christian music and Christian content. You do love that stuff. I love Christian music, I love Christian content. I soak it up God is good. God is good. And it helps me just bring it back to reality. I'm like this is so insignificant. Yeah.

Ally:

And then one thing that you've talked about recently which I've really liked, is remembering your identity as like a son or daughter of god yes, absolutely how come you've been focused on that so much lately?

Brett:

um, I mean, I've dealt with self-worth issues my entire life and, like I've talked about fat bread on this podcast but we love him we love fat bread. He was so cool, but I miss him like, even in that time I would swim with my shirt on, like I was. I was the type of kid that, like, was embarrassed about his body.

Brett:

Um, and then, when I got super sick, look at those two fatties getting married, yeah well, I was about to say when I was super sick and 135 pounds, yeah, um, I looked like a skeleton and I was again really embarrassed about how I looked. You would always say I think you saw me one time at church and I ran away. It's because I was embarrassed. One of the reasons I was embarrassed was because of how I looked.

Ally:

I literally was trying to chase you down. I was like I haven't seen that guy in five years. I should go say hi. I also heard that Brett was sick. I say, brett, I'm sorry. I also heard that Brett was sick. I say, brett, I'm sorry I'm talking to the audience that Brett was sick and I was concerned, so I wanted to catch up and I was like, well, maybe he's anorexic Because I saw you from a distance, but I never caught up.

Brett:

Yeah, but then, yeah, I've always had like self-image issues, but knowing that, like I'm a son of God and was made in his image and like he cares enough about me to take care of me in this life, like give me great parents, like I don't know, I mean, there's something to that.

Brett:

That's like if you can understand what it's like to be the son of God, like we all are sons and daughters of god, understand that our body is temporary and we're made for so much more than just like living here on earth, like there's so much more that we can't even comprehend that we are promised if we live righteously and like live a good, righteous life, live a good, righteous life, um, and I think it also just helps me remember that I'm immortal and you know, I'm not at that state of God yet, but like, when I live with him again, I will be exalted. Um, it just helps me remember who I am and like goes back to like running, podcasting, doing my job. All those things are important, but they don't matter in the long end, because what really matters is that I am a son of God and I will return to live with my Heavenly Father.

Ally:

One thing I like to think about is our actions matter. Is our actions matter, right? We can't just say, like in our belief, that just like Christ is king and that's that we can go live a sinful life. Actions matter and showing up every day matters, but our worth doesn't change because of our decisions. Our worth is permanent in the sight of God. Our worth is not reflective of how we are choosing to act. What we do and do not do, our worth is constant.

Ally:

Of course, when you slip up you need to repent, like there are like good and bad actions and there's like moral and un-moral things. But regardless of our actions, at least we can know that we are still so loved by someone who knows us perfectly yeah and I try to remind myself like god knows me so perfectly thorough in and out, and he I know he loves me as a daughter of god, and because he knows me so perfectly and knows our neighbor so perfectly and we both sin in different ways yeah and loves us still regardless.

Ally:

I guess I could do a little bit better about loving myself and my neighbor.

Brett:

I love that. I think, honestly, the best analogy that I can think of this is going to be a rough one, because I don't have kids yet, but as a future dad, I can't imagine how much love I'm going to have for my kids, our kids.

Ally:

Especially with how obsessed you are with me. Yeah, it's going to be insane I'm going to have for my kids, our kids, especially with how obsessed you are with me.

Brett:

Yeah, it's going to be insane. I'm going to be wrapped around their fingers, it's going to be dangerous. I know I'm worried, but I cannot imagine the love I'm going to have for them, because I've seen the glimmer of love that I have for you and creating a child together and loving that thing is going to be nuts. And so I'm sure, like, like I did in high school and throughout junior high or whatever, but like you make stupid mistakes and you make dumb decisions, I'm not going to love that kid any less for the stupid things that he does or she. Um, unless they like, I'm not going to love them less. I'll be disappointed. I'm not going to love them less.

Brett:

And so whenever I'm having like a hard day mentally with like my own self-worth, I try and do that same thing and be like how does God think of me? Like he knows I'm going to make mistakes, we're all imperfect. The only perfect person on this earth was Jesus Christ. And knowing that, like I know he still loves me, I know he still cares about me, he wants me to be happy, and that's just kind of what I think about is like that analogy of like how would I love my kid?

Ally:

I like how you said you love him, but you can make disappointed for sure and I think that's where that's important. Like shame, guilt, embarrassment, those are important. Emotions like that means you want to like. You need to change something. Yeah.

Ally:

And I think when I think of God loving me, I'm like that's great. Or my parents. I'll say my mom loving me. I know I'll always have her love and I know you and I are both so fortunate to have parents who love us in such a way that we understand God's love. Yeah, I am well aware that people don't have that in their lives and I can imagine it'd be hard to comprehend God's love with parents that aren't available for you. But I know we are very fortunate. We had incredible parents and so we. I think we have a little bit of a better insight of God's love for us.

Ally:

But I know I disappoint my mom sometimes. I know I disappointed my dad sometimes, and I think that's good. I disappointed my dad sometimes and I think that's good. Like, disappointment shows room for improvement, it shows where to adjust and I think, now that I'm thinking about this and we're having this conversation, I think that's just as important to have in ourselves. I think it's okay to be disappointed in ourselves. We didn't hit a run, we cheated on our diet, we were mean to somebody. Yeah, be disappointed, that's an important feeling to have, to recognize a need for change of behavior, but it doesn't mean you need to love yourself any less. It doesn't mean that your worth decreased whatsoever, but those emotions are signaling you for adjustment and I think that's important. I love that, which the more I think about it, as we're talking about it, I need to start recognizing this in the moment a lot better.

Brett:

It's hard, it really is hard, like it's something like I talked about with consistency, that you have to practice and you have to choose to be disciplined with it. Right. And, like I said, I'm getting better at it, I'm working on it, it, but it's because I'm choosing more often than not to have grace with myself and to just pick it back up and be stronger the next day.

Ally:

so I think it's good yeah, gross feeling, gross feeling, but learn from it. Yeah, learn from it.

Brett:

And move on, get after it again the next day again and again.

Ally:

No, I agree. I was just curious your stance on that because I know you and I both struggle with it and I'm sure the whole world struggles with it yeah, um, if you don't, message me, please and tell me your secrets yeah, that's got to be some delusional person, I think yeah because I don't think that anyone either way, a delusional person could be fun maybe delusional is the way the happiness to life, maybe it is be delusional yeah, I didn't hear that here on this podcast.

Brett:

Yeah, erase that, take it out.

Ally:

Edit you're the one editing I'm not editing this.

Brett:

I don't edit this.

Ally:

It's true, it's all raw anyways, I was just curious on your opinion on that, something I strive for understanding every day well, I love it.

Brett:

I think that's a solid place to end is just understand your self-worth and try to be nicer to yourself, because you can't get after it if you're filling your head with negative thoughts. You have to believe that you're someone who's worth getting after.

Ally:

But at the same time hold yourself accountable, I think.

Brett:

Extreme ownership baby.

Ally:

Extreme ownership, Like you can't love yourself to the point where you put yourself in a little comfort bubble and don't do hard things. You let too many workouts slide. You just eat a pizza, a full pizza every day, I think. If you're feeling gross about stuff.

Ally:

If you feel embarrassed, you feel disgusted, you feel disappointed, listen to your emotions, understand why you're feeling that way, but it doesn't change who you are as a person, of course. But love yourself in a way that you want to keep care of yourself, not feel that disappointment and that discouragement.

Brett:

Let yourself out of that I love that work your way out it's a great place to end my love well, thanks for having me it's always a pleasure. You're my favorite guest and, uh, yeah, I always enjoy a conversation, so, um, I hope this was helpful and fun to listen to for everyone out there. If, uh, if you want to rate the show, it would help a lot, so please do rate it, comment, repost all the things.

Ally:

I'm his number one fan, so you'll see me doing that every single week yeah, do what my wife says, yes, or she'll hunt you down I will, I'll find you and until next episode, everyone keep getting after it.