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Getting After It
This isn’t just a podcast—it’s a relentless pursuit of growth, grit, and getting after life on your own terms.
Every week, we break down what it takes to push limits, embrace discomfort, and turn ambition into action. This is where wisdom meets execution—because knowledge alone doesn’t cut it. You have to apply, refine, and outwork your own self-doubt to see real results.
We bring on guests from all walks of life—entrepreneurs, athletes, creatives, adventurers—people who have battled through resistance and come out stronger. Their stories aren’t just inspiring; they’re roadmaps for anyone looking to level up.
The mission? To fuel your fire, challenge your thinking, and equip you with the mindset and tools to chase down your biggest goals.
This is Getting After It—not just a podcast, but a movement for those who refuse to settle.
Getting After It
124 - Payton Sellers - Built by the Hard Days
In this episode, I sit down with my longtime friend Payton Sellers—a future dentist, former missionary, and professional at learning the hard way.
We talk about what it means to choose your hard, how to own rejection, and why taking life too seriously might be the worst way to live it. Payton shares stories that are as hilarious as they are honest—failed dates, lessons from Baltimore, and why laughing at yourself might be the key to confidence.
Through all of it, a theme kept surfacing: Amor Fati—the Stoic idea of loving your fate. Payton embodies that. He doesn’t just accept the tough parts of life. He learns from them. He leans in. And he reminds us that life isn’t about waiting for the perfect moment—it’s about making the most of the messy ones.
Key Takeaways:
- Why rejection isn’t a dead end—it’s a detour toward growth.
- Confidence is built in awkwardness, not comfort.
- You can’t avoid “hard”—but you can choose the version that leads to purpose.
- The power of laughing at yourself and not letting ego drive the car.
- How Amor Fati applies to modern life—and even worse date stories.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, embarrassed, or unsure if you're on the right track—this one’s for you.
Hit play, laugh a little, and then… keep getting after it.
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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.
This podcast is built for you—the dreamers and the doers. My goal is to provide a space where you can find inspiration, learn from others, and feel empowered to chase what matters most to you.
it is here's just legit man I grew it out actually just for this episode.
Payton:I'm just kidding but some vitamins and stuff yeah, took some.
Brett:Uh, what is it? B12? I don't know. What do the girls take? Collagen?
Payton:I think collagen, yeah, I'm taking collagen from my mustache.
Brett:Everyone but dude, welcome to the show dude, thanks for having me it's uh, it's been way too long we've been trying to get this done. For what a month, two months, two months I saw you in the airport.
Payton:Yeah, it was the airport. That was before that was going home for Christmas or coming back.
Brett:Dude, it was going home for Christmas. Actually, that's a wild time. So we have you here and you're the first guest actually in the studio Besides Allie. She's wifey, so it happens. But man well, thanks for coming on. I'm pumped to have you. This is an opportunity. My friend Peyton Sellers he's on the podcast. Hey everybody. We've been friends since high school really, and since then it's like I don't know we've all been super busy. It's hard to find time to catch up, so it's kind of nice. No, it was great yeah.
Payton:I remember't know. We've all been super busy. It's hard to find time to catch up, so it's kind of nice. No, it was great. Yeah, I remember we met what my freshman year, I think, so, yeah, 2014.
Brett:That's when I was hanging out with Nick and all those guys a bunch, so that makes sense yeah. That's crazy.
Payton:I mean I've got to ask you this because I don't understand the origin story of this your name's payton sellers.
Brett:Yes, payton, yes, okay, correct, I always referred to you as payton, until I heard their nicknames pudge where did that come from?
Payton:well, pudge man, pudge man. Yeah, meister. Uh, do you want the real story or do you want the fake story? That's a little bit cooler a fake story.
Brett:Um well, how we can do both. Let's do both. Let's do both.
Payton:So the fake story is and I always got to. I have to get into it.
Brett:Yeah, go for it. Okay, story time.
Payton:So when I was born Okay, and again, this is all a lie, but when I was born I was 12 pounds as a baby, fat as baby Doctors wrapped me up in tinfoil, called me a chipotle burrito, so, anyways, none of that is true. But you know, people always ask him and so, like I've, like low-key, kind of built this massive story out because people are like, oh, was it like a c-section? And I'd be like no, no. And then people like your poor mom, I know I know she went through it.
Payton:You know she went to the hospital nine times before I was born. I just build on this story more and more.
Brett:That's so good.
Payton:And people just eat it up, because the real story is actually it comes from Clayton.
Brett:Okay, our good friend Clayton yeah.
Payton:Yeah, and from high school. So I remember when I was a freshman in high school I was hanging out with Nick and Clayton and we were at someone's birthday party and I remember I was just being super annoying. I was being super annoying to Nick and Clayton, that was kind of just my shtick, I just loved just if. Clayton was talking, I'd just interrupt him. I was such an a-hole so I'd just interrupt him like oh yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, for sure.
Brett:This guy's a loser anyways. So sometimes people need that, especially clayton clayton.
Payton:If you're listening to this, we love you, but you can need a little pudge interruption sometimes you just need a little pudge in your life, yeah, so I remember, yeah, I was being super annoying and then he was like he got all flustered and then but it was kind of like I was I couldn't tell if he was seriously mad or whatever, but he's just like. I remember he pointed in my face and he was like I'm gonna come back, I'm gonna think of a name for you.
Payton:That is just horrendous yeah he's like I'll be back in 15 minutes, and sure enough, as he said it, 15 minutes on the dot he comes back, because I was just with nate nick and whoever else. Yeah and uh, sure enough he comes back and he goes pudge he's back because I was just with nate nick and whoever else, yeah, and uh, sure enough he comes back. And he goes pudge, he's like, because you're so fat I was like I was. This was you know I don't know.
Brett:Yeah, I want to make something very clear. You were not fat, I was like a hundred pounds yeah, you're a little guy, so I just started laughing. But nick hears it and you know, oh yeah, you know game over yeah, if nick latches onto something, everyone latches onto it.
Payton:So he's like yes, you are pudge. So then clayton then tells kyle who's kyle's my grade and I and kyle's on the basketball team with me at the time. So clean tells kyle, kyle tells the whole basketball team. So now everyone in basketball is calling me pudge. And then everyone in your friend group starts calling me. Pudge and yeah, so it just kind of stuck like that.
Brett:I mean, I think both are good origin stories the baby coming out as a Chipotle burrito and then that one Come on, no, that is funny though, clayton, that guy, when he would like think about an insult, he really was like creative. He's like the gears in his brain would turn and he's like okay, let me think about this for a minute. How can I make this like the most personal attack to this guy? And it doesn't even make sense because, like you're not fat or anything, he's just like Pudge. It's a bad name. I'm going for it, although I don't know. I think it's like a good nickname.
Payton:I love it, yeah. So then, like with the fake stories, because the real story, there's also like more background, because they used to call clayton clud yeah and they used to call me pud or just nick.
Payton:Only nick would call me pud okay and so like clayton kind of had you know that muse, he kind of drew upon pud and clud, um, so like there was there's a lot of information that's impressive. It kind of you know, all came together, yeah. But so, like you know, if I'm introducing myself because I mean I'm single, so if I'm going on a date, uh, or if I'm, I don't know, at a party or whatever, and I'm introducing myself to somebody for the first time, first of all, I mean you know me? Yeah, I don't really take myself seriously, so I don't really want to be like hey, my name's peyton you know that's weird, I don't know.
Brett:I'm with you on that, fit me yeah so I'm like pudge, I'm pudge it just works.
Payton:And then, yeah, people started asking and I was like well one, the story's too long yeah there's so much information that like is pertinent. That's like you know.
Brett:And then two girls would start to be like that's mean I don't want to say that and I'd be like like no listen, this is what I call myself, you're being weird.
Payton:yeah, you're being weird like the vibe. Yeah, like, stop it. So I know. So I was just like I'll just come up with something that is kind of just irrefutable. You can't really be like, oh, I'm not going to call you Pudge.
Brett:Like. No, you have to call me P seriously.
Payton:I work in a corporate job.
Brett:And it's ridiculous Some of the people there, they just show up, they're buttoned up every single day. You can't make a joke around them, it'll fly over their head and they're like no, I was making a joke, I was trying to be funny here. It's just ridiculous. My boss is hilarious, he's from Baltimore, he'll be on a sales call. Trying to be funny here and um, like it's just ridiculous. But then, like I don't know, my boss is hilarious, he's from baltimore, he'll be on like a sales call and drop the f-bomb on people if they like say something stupid. He's like no, that's effing dumb.
Brett:It's like okay, um, I love that, but like I don't, know, why do you not take yourself so seriously, like I think it's an important thing for us to do, like life is supposed to be fun?
Payton:I agree. You know I've I've been, uh, this last like month or two. I've had some interesting experiences with girls and then, like I recently started a new job and so like kind of just a lot of things coming together and I started to kind of realize I'm like you know what, like when something bad happens. I've kind of always thought this, but it kind of just like surfaced, yeah, recently it's like when something bad happens.
Payton:I just kind of always thought this, but it kind of just like surfaced recently, is like when something bad happens, I just kind of I've realized like wait, maybe that's part of the journey. You're like maybe, maybe that's what will make me you know the person that I'm going to be one day.
Brett:Yeah.
Payton:And uh. So like I don't know, I, I especially found like joy realize this again like on the mission too, you know, like when you're just like I don't know, you just were outside the door's getting slammed in your face sometimes because I was in baltimore on my mission oh, were you really? Yeah, dude so we should talk about that yeah, that's insane, it was great, but, um you know, sometimes it'd be raining super hard and then you know companions noise of crappity sometimes it was there's just like so many things going wrong that it's almost hilarious.
Brett:Oh dude, so many times More than I can count, especially on the mission.
Payton:It was amplified.
Brett:Yeah, insane.
Payton:So yeah, so, like I don't know, that's what I've kind of been realizing lately too. Another experience, I remember. I remember I was cramming super hard for like a test one day and it was like a week, I think. I put like 20 hours of studying just in, like a couple days before the test.
Brett:Jeez dude.
Payton:Ended up pulling a 60% on the test. I was like that's brutal. And I remember praying, I was like, hey, that's not really fair. Like I did my part.
Brett:And.
Payton:I asked you know, do a little prayer, and then I just remember kind of being like dude. It's one test.
Brett:Yeah.
Payton:Like who cares?
Brett:That's fair.
Payton:And so like that, like kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. And like that was kind of just like a cascade, all those things kind of just came together. So, yeah, I just feel like you know, like it's part of the journey.
Brett:Yeah, dude.
Payton:You know and so like, and then sometimes what's good too is I also have a couple of friends that don't really take themselves seriously. It's like I kind of just pull off of their energy love to make a joke every once in a while you have to a well-timed. You know your mom joke, or that's what she said like come on your mom those were all over high school.
Brett:That was like our entire conversation with people. It's like whenever we hung out.
Payton:It's like your mom jokes all the time 24 7 and you know like it's pretty funny, you know so I don't know so yeah, things like that just kind of all coming together and it's like you ever I don't know you ever just be like so focused on something and then it's just draining yeah, I just don't have any other energy for anything else, when I'm taking, you know, like just one aspect of my life way too seriously.
Brett:Yeah.
Payton:And then it just kind of takes over, and then I don't know, I feel like there's just like not enough time to just be as serious as you can.
Brett:Yeah, I think like it's important to like it's's, it's important to take yourself not so seriously, because life is it's hard as it is and if you're taking all the fun out of it yourself, like that's a dangerous route to go. Um, well, you said it made me think of something. Have you ever heard of the phrase amor fati? It's a it's a Latin phrase that means love of fate, and like, the last episode that we just recorded was actually about this. Um, and it came out today, which is weird that you brought this up. But the whole idea is like, instead of like it's embraced the fate that is given to you and so, instead of saying like I don't know why this happened to me, so you got like a 64 on your test, you're like, damn, this sucks.
Brett:Like I studied for 20 hours what's going on, but it's like the whole entire concept of that is okay. Well, this happened to me and I'm going to be better for it in the future, and a lot of it can be like a springboard, to be like you know what? Maybe I needed to double down and study harder, or maybe I needed to readjust my study habits or whatever. Maybe it was like a hard week and I had a lot of like piled on my plate and I just couldn't really focus, like whatever it was. Yeah, those lessons it's usually like the hardest parts of your path. Like it makes the journey, yeah, and it makes you who you are, like you said. Like you said and I don't know the last podcast I talked about when I was sick and stuff, and I don't know if you remember much- of that.
Brett:Yeah, we talked about it at the airport.
Brett:Yeah, yeah, but I was like 135 pounds, I thought I was dying and like it's interesting, because that experience made me want to be like you know what, I'm gonna run and I'm gonna push my body to like its limits because I know what it's like to not have that.
Brett:Yeah, um same with like the podcast. Like during that time I listened to podcasts all the time because I couldn't watch tv, I couldn't look at screens or anything, and so I was like I'm just going to turn to podcasts and so I don't know, it's just like all these things that I thought was like a crucible for me and it was like the worst time of my life. It turned out to be, like I said, like a springboard to go and do things like this. So I don't know, know, I mean it's interesting because, like life sucks sometimes, but it's all those times where, like you know, it sucks, but you keep going that you learn the most so I, like you know, I've had a a string of really bad dates lately, oh no, can you tell us something about any of them?
Brett:I?
Payton:can. There's one specifically that I'm thinking of. That is oh, it'll make your skin crawl, but let me tell you the lore, because I can tell the story worth every second.
Brett:All right.
Payton:I'm ready. So and then, yeah, that kind of goes into the like don't take yourself so seriously, because, like, by the end of it I was just like that was crazy. I got to tell the boys, you know.
Brett:I'm so excited.
Payton:Okay, you know, I'm so excited okay so I probably shouldn't name drop her, so I'll come up with a fake name call her angie let's call her angie. Yeah, let's call her angie. It's fair. Um so, angie, I have known angie for like three, three and a half years okay so I went up to idaho three and a half years ago from one of my homies baby blessings oh nice and uh, yeah, he was like he was having a baby.
Payton:Whatever I go up there, I had mutual on my phone okay I was bored, I'm scrolling, I'm swiping, I'm swiping as one does, you know, right and um. I end up matching with angie and um, but she lived in idaho okay, and so anyways uh, I think so okay I don't remember.
Brett:Actually, I think it was like I lived up there, so that's why I asked early or something, some tiny town? Yeah, yeah, there's nowhere yeah there's.
Payton:Yeah, the potato farmers are dangerous man whoa very anyways, angie so angie, yeah, anyways, I matched her, I get like her phone number, snapchat, whatever it is the whole nine yards. And then I go back to Utah and I was like, ah, this is too far.
Brett:Yeah.
Payton:Like love you, Angie, have a huge crush on her. Like physically, I'm so attracted to Angie.
Brett:Like I think she's beautiful.
Payton:Till this day I'm like she is so pretty, but she's kind of loco crazy in the mind. Okay, so anyways like, we like kind of stay in contact. We like text, snapchat, whatever, send memes on instagram, whatever it is, and but nothing really happened. She just lived too far so I was like whatever. We ended up hanging out a couple times yeah but then, um, then she moved to saratoga, like a year ago I think so.
Brett:She moved to utah.
Payton:Yeah, all right and so, and her family was here, she had yeah, her mom and dad are here, but she was living with she's doing like college and also living with her uncle and stuff. So, um, anyways, she moves here and I'm like, oh cool, but at the time I was also in a relationship so I was kind of like, uh, off limits yeah I'm not gonna really talk to you yeah like I met you through a date I'm a good guy yeah, you know exactly.
Payton:So like I'm not gonna be like oh, but we're friends. Like no, I met you through a dating app yeah, like that's weird, anyways, she was kind of like why don't we talk? And I was like uh because I'm loyal.
Brett:I don't, I don't know I'm a good, I'm a good guy, I'm a good, anyway.
Payton:so I end up breaking up with or I got broke up with. That was interesting, that was a very interesting breakup. Uh-oh, there's so much to unpack there, but anyways, I'm single now and this was like March, beginning of March.
Payton:So like pretty recent and I remember hitting her up. I was like, hey, you're in Utah now let's go on a date. I remember hitting her up. I was like, hey, you're in Utah now, let's go on a date. She goes, sure, so I take her out to dinner, we get a sweet treat and then she does hospice care or whatever, and so she had to leave because she had to go clock in or whatever.
Payton:So she had to leave at 9. And it was like 7.30 or 8. And again I've had a crush, see if she bites. So I go like hey, we can go out to my house. And she's like sure. And I'm like yes, let's get a gun and punch secured. Finally, and so we go out to my house and then again I'm like, hey, we can watch a movie, throw it out there. She bites. She's like, oh yeah, I'm down. So I'm like, let's go Two for two. I'm two for two. I'm doing great.
Brett:These are layups. That's pretty good yeah.
Payton:So my roommates are downstairs using the couch, so I was like my room.
Brett:Yeah.
Payton:Okay, this is where we get the job done. She's in your room. Come on now. You're going three for three. You should be, I should be, but hold on hold on, hold on.
Brett:This is where it gets interesting this is where it gets interesting.
Payton:So we go into my room, whatever, we're watching this movie at this point the door is closed. Okay, in my bed under the covers watching and I like put on a random movie. What did I?
Brett:I put on the truman show, probably not a great movie to make, but like I, just was kind of like that's a good movie.
Payton:I just clicked it, yeah so. So anyways, we um. Yeah, we're in my bed, so I like put my arm around her. I do the smooth, special move come on and I'm like, hey, like scoot over, and she's like she's 100 serious. She's like, oh, I have a weird thing with physical touch. I don't want to cuddle and I'm like we're in my bed and I'm not going to kiss this girl. I was like, oh no. I was like there's no way the most awkward. I'm literally pencil form.
Brett:I'm right here and I'm like Now, you're just enduring at this point pencil form.
Payton:I'm, I'm right here and I'm like now you're just enduring. At this point, oh, and at this point I'm like nine o'clock can't come fast enough, you know, so I'm laying there oh man this and I'm just like, oh yeah, this is great. So we're still chatting because I'm like, well, I gotta try and make the time pass somehow and so we're talking, she's talking whatever.
Payton:I don't really remember what we're talking about, but like, as we get closer and closer to 9 pm, yeah because we're inching slowly um, she like, then turns on her side and then is now, you know not just talking to the tv, but rather like to me and directly, so I'm on my side contact and now we're like next to each other again not still not touching, but like we're close and, uh, I'd like make a joke and then she like she grabs, she like laughs and she grabs my arm and I like I like look down and I'm like make a joke.
Payton:And then she like she grabs, she like laughs and she grabs my arm and I like I like look down and I'm like I thought you said you had a weird thing yeah cool touch. And um then she like, she laughs, he's like did you?
Brett:did you tell her that?
Payton:oh yeah, I said that yeah I was like I thought you said it because, like I thought I was, like I was saying it like kind of like a jab, but also like I kind of meant it flirty. So I was kind of like what's going on? Like you're contradicting yourself, Um, so anyways, yeah, she grabs my arm and then she's still grabbing my arm and she, and then at this point she's staring at me.
Brett:Yeah.
Payton:Big smile staring at me, completely silent, you know, batting her eyes.
Brett:All the signals are there, all the signals are there.
Payton:All the signals, that is green light, go like shoot your shot. That's a layup. So I lean in yeah and she swerves me. What crazy time. So I literally was like wait, what just happened. And then she, just she was like she had a that big old smile yeah, on her face and I was like you're like no, no, no, like what?
Brett:just yeah, I think it's 9 o'clock.
Payton:Yeah, get out of my house. So anyways, I was like that was crazy, that's wild. So, yeah, I was like that was crazy, Okay. And so then I was kind of like, oh then, no, this happened. Then I go, that's crazy, I throw my hands up and I kind of just drop my You're like what is happening?
Brett:Yeah, I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm going through the most wild array of mixed signals right now.
Payton:I'm getting green light, red light, green light Like what do I do? Yeah?
Brett:you're playing squid games.
Payton:Like this is oh so, yeah, this is difficult, yeah, I was basically fighting for my life, but anyways, and don't worry, it gets so much worse.
Brett:Oh jeez, much worse. Oh geez, don't, don't. What time is this? Do you think?
Payton:this is like 8 45 we're getting close. Got 15 minutes, I got 15 minutes, but basically there's nothing really that happens in the last 15 minutes. But we're holding hands and so I'm just like whatever. Um, she swerved me, so I'm I'm not gonna like lean in, but again. She's still like your dignity is in this exactly, yeah she's still like staring at me, like I can kind of like feel her right there, and I was like, so I got to like look at her and then kind of look away, Cause I was like I don't know.
Brett:Now it sounds like a scary movie.
Payton:I got looking away.
Brett:She's just staring at you like this all the time no blinking.
Payton:Yeah.
Brett:This is terrifying, oh my gosh.
Payton:So, anyways, nine o'clock hits, I clock hits. I'm like, okay, it's nine o'clock, I should probably take you home. So I stand up and the way where everything was, I stand up and then she stands up, but she's in my way like the remote was behind her on the desk.
Payton:And so she's standing up right there and she's not moving and I'm like I gotta get to the remote behind you and again, big smile staring at me, silent, batting her out you know, doing all the things kind of like, swerve like, kind of like I don't know what this is, but, like you know, I'm saying like getting giddy, exactly, like very much, showing me that she wants me to kiss her, and so then I'm like okay, so I grab her by the, I grab her by the hips yeah and I pull her in. At this point we're touching completely.
Payton:You know, there's no, I have this weird thing, physical touch and I'm leaning in and she swerves me again Twice, Twice0 for 2. Now I was 0 for 2. I thought that these were layups and these were full courts. Wait, what's her deal? I have no clue To this day. I still have no idea.
Brett:She didn't tell you.
Payton:No.
Brett:What the heck.
Payton:So anyways, I was like okay, I was like all right, you're like I'm being serious, like we gotta go anyways.
Brett:Maybe, like, maybe that's her thing. She just likes to, like you know, make guys think that they're real close to kissing her, and then boom that's like her favorite thing in the world. That's why she's laughing.
Payton:That's so weird I think she was like genuinely, and don't worry, this isn't the only date we went on, there's more, okay, there's more, and it gets so much worse and like that's so like going into this I should like, or looking back on it, I realize now I'm like, okay, I think she's just like a master manipulator. Yeah, seems like it. Just wait, there's so much more proof to that. So, anyways, she like then is talking to me and flirting with me and like any I don't know. She basically was like we need to hang out again. She says talking to me and flirting with me and like any I don't know, she basically was like we need to hang out again.
Payton:She says that to me and I go yeah, no, I agree. I don't know why I agreed to that, but I did. And so I'm also kind of like look, she's a siren dude, yeah, she's singing the song, and I'm right over the water I'm like, oh, you know.
Payton:So I'm like, yeah, that's a great idea. But then again I get another. After I drop her off I get more mixed signals, because after I drop her off then all of a sudden she becomes corporate America's most busy soldier and has no idea what her work schedule is and just cannot make time. And I'm like you told me Corporate America's most busy soldier.
Brett:That's good. I'm going to use that now. It's a good one.
Payton:it's a good one, it's a good yeah. So, anyways, I'm like okay, cool, I'm like text her like three, four days in a row, like, oh, like are we gonna? I don't know if it's that much, it might have been that much. She was kind of leading me along, just, you know, leading me to water yeah, I'm a little horse.
Brett:The other night ago that's kind of fake I was just testing the waters yeah, and so I'm like what's going on?
Payton:so, anyways, then a week later my friend was like hey, I have free tickets to the jazz game. Find a girl, let's go on a group date yeah and I'm texting no girls. So I was like I can text emma, it'd be fun and she's cute. So I could kind of be like, hey, like I'm on a date with a cute girl, like clout you know, and uh, so I text her and she's like, oh, I was gonna go to institute tonight, but yeah, I, I can come to the jazz game.
Brett:And I was like that's crazy how you somehow just instantly found amazing yeah, that's wild I thought you were corporate america's busiest warrior or soldier that's what I thought.
Payton:Yeah and anyway, so she just magically clears up her schedule. We go on this date. It was fine, like I pick her up, my friend ended up not being able to like his date dropped out last second, so it was just me and her and I was like, oh awkward, but anyways. So we get to the jazz game. It's great, it's fun, whatever, um, except there's one part where I were sitting there and one of my roommate's ex-girlfriends walks up and she walks by and she's like Pudge and I'm like hey, what's up I?
Payton:haven't seen her in forever and also they ended on really bad One of the worst breakups I've ever witnessed and I was like I don't really have any beef with you because I don't know. I wasn't there. But, from what he told me like we don't like you. Yeah, I'm not supposed to.
Brett:Anyways, we're not friends. Exactly this is bro code. Yeah, exactly like I'm like oh, get away.
Payton:So anyways, she's just kind of chatting to me for a little bit too long and I'm getting real uncomfortable and I'm like okay, yeah, you know the answers are getting shorter and shorter, like totally totally yes, no, no so anyways, she leaves. And then I asked or that's her name, anyways, angie angie, angie, I can edit it, don't worry, I'll bleep it. So angie then is like oh who, who was that?
Payton:and I was like, oh, that's my old roommate's ex-girlfriend, whatever. And she was like what happened between them? And I was like, uh, because she had visited Angie, had visited me in that three years before we went on these dates, so she had met all my roommates. So in my mind, she's asking like oh, who is this? Like what happened? Because she had met them. So in my mind it's not really that weird. I have a question, but then she kind of like keeps talking about my old roommate, Just keeps talking.
Payton:And old roommate just keeps talking and I'm like and she's like wait, did I meet him? And I was like I don't know, like the tall blonde one and she was like okay, what's his name? So I tell her um his name. Then she searches up his instagram and then she's like I don't know if I really like this guy, or I don't know if I really met this guy, or whatever, and I was like I, I don't know yeah, there's no way you have yeah, three years ago or whatever there's no clue, um, there's no way that I can prove it.
Payton:So and then she's like and then I was like well, yeah, I, I think that they broke up. I was like I love my old roommate, but he's just kind of arrogant, like kind of cocky and so, like I don't, he told me his side of things, but like he was when I was living with him, he was kind of hard to live with and he didn't ever really think that anything was his fault yeah so I was like so I don't really know if I believe a hundred percent what he said, but I was like, I don't know, I I do wonder, I don't know, if he like took a lot of accountability for anything that happened there.
Payton:And she goes oh, he's arrogant like cocky and I was like, yeah, and she's like. And then she's staring at his instagram and she's like I bet I could fix him and my eyes just go she said that I was blown away like it's a cartoon like you know, like jaw on the floor, I could fix him she says that on a date yes.
Brett:What about?
Payton:someone else. Yeah, I'm on a date with you and you're talking about my old roommate. The disrespect I was genuinely shocked.
Brett:I was so shocked yeah, what do you do in that situation? So I was like.
Payton:So I was like what she's like? Oh, like I could humble him, I could, like I could fix him and I was like what does that mean?
Payton:you know, like. So I said I'm like what does that mean? And she's like, oh, like I don't, like I. And then she just like kind of starts gassing herself up about how she like can, like, I don't know, humble people, what? What does that mean? Yeah, what are you? You were corporate America's busiest warrior and now you're God's most brave warrior. Like, okay, like nobody's asking you to humble them.
Brett:She just goes up to him and is like you're arrogant, you suck.
Payton:It's like all this stuff just lays, lays into him I'm like nobody's asking you yeah I did not ask you to do this, and she's like I, I could, and all these things, and I'm like thank you that's, but then yeah, she's talking about fixing him and I'm like that's so weird, what so? Anyways, at this point I just start to get like a little discouraged. I'm kind of like, oh you know, she's talking, she's just chatting it up yeah about my old roommate. I'm on a date with you and you are talking about someone. I like someone else, especially someone that I know.
Brett:That's wild so I'm like I don't know if I would be able to hold my cool in that situation dude I just started it was.
Payton:It was either like go off or just shut down yeah so I was like well, uh, there's still like it was like barely past halftime. So I was like we got lots of the game left to go.
Brett:And I wanted to watch the game.
Payton:They were playing, I don't know, the Rockets, I think. So I was kind of entertaining, so I was like, yeah, yeah, okay, sure, totally, so I start to shut down and she can see it, and she's like, oh, what's wrong? And I was like I don't know, I'm just like not in a great mood. And then she's like well, why? And I was like like really. What do you mean, why? And then she just like keeps asking.
Payton:And then I was like well, you asked for it, and so I'm like well, I don't really like when you talk about other guys, when I'm taking you out on a date, and I was like, imagine how that makes me feel. And she was like, oh, that's not what you meant it doesn't really matter what you meant. What you did was this and this and this, and so I'm like I get it. That's probably not what you meant. I'm not going to be mad or hold that against you, but like what am I supposed to do?
Brett:Right.
Payton:So, anyways, that was a really awkward situation she basically pulls it all out of me and I was like okay.
Brett:Yeah, so you guys are at a baseball game or not, a baseball basketball game. You just laid it all out. Now it's like what's the mood?
Payton:Yeah, Now then she just kind of keeps talking and she just acts like this is like a normal thing. It was weird. We like, we're like I don't know it was like Dude, I'm telling you.
Brett:there's potato farmers up in Idaho. I had a weird experience, too Weird.
Payton:So it gets worse. Then we're on the drive home and I get back because she lives in.
Brett:It's got to be the most awkward drive.
Payton:I'm sorry it's horrible, but like she just would like keep talking, so there was no silence.
Brett:Yeah.
Payton:But I was just like, yeah, sure. And then again, like I was saying before, she would like kind of flirt, and she knew that I had a crush on her, like physically, that I thought she's like so pretty All these things, and it was just like dude what's?
Payton:going on like I don't know like she would like say things and I was like kind of happy and then I was like wait a second, am I just gonna forget that? She, right, just disrespected me. Date, first date and then this, anyways. So, um, she lives in saratoga springs, but like really far saratoga springs so we I picked her up at the target parking lot in american fork oh, okay, yeah is where I picked her up to take her to the date.
Payton:Then we come back and we're just like in her car, we go get like a little sweet treat and we're just sitting there and it's like after just chatting and talking or whatever. It's like 11, 11, 1 and 30. Some of that and I was like I can take you to your car Like we both. I'm in the target parking lot now we go get a little sweet treat, and so this is after the game yeah, I'm parking yeah, I was like she's like oh, let's hang out for another 10 more minutes, and I was like again okay
Payton:I'm like, oh yeah, sure. And then you, at this point we're in the front seat and she like starts leaning on my shoulder and we're like kind of doing this weird like cuddling thing in the front seat. I don't know, but again, I had a crush on this girl for three years and I was kind of like maybe I should just kiss her. And the two sides of me was like she disrespected you. But then I was like maybe just kiss her, yeah why not?
Brett:I mean, you've always wanted to. I mean cross it off a little.
Payton:So I was like I don't know, and then she just kept. She would flirt with me and then make me I don't know. So I was kind of like, okay, I think I'm going to try and kiss her. But then I was like no, I kind of came to my senses. I was like, no're like flirting or cuddling in the front seat. We do that for another like hour. At this point it's like 1230. I'm like, okay, I'll walk you. So again, I tell her again this is the second time.
Payton:I'm like hey, I'll walk you to your car so. And she's like okay, no, no, no, no. At this point, the second time she's silent, Says nothing, Staring into my eyes big smile. You know all the things yeah and I'm like at this point I already decided. I was like no, I'm gonna have some dignity yeah so I go hey, I'm, I'm not gonna kiss you, I'm not gonna try, I'm not gonna make a move, nothing's gonna happen. And she goes wait why? And I was like you're like.
Brett:Well, let's start at the beginning. Let's start years ago. No, yeah.
Payton:So basically, I was just like I'm so confused yeah, like there's so much going on and like I was like, and like this probably isn't fair. But also like if I kiss you, I'm the type of guy where, like, if I kiss you, I'm gonna try and go for it yeah, why not. And I was like, but I'm moving to vegas and I really am a terrible long distance boyfriend, like I hate facetiming every night. I don't want to do that you know.
Payton:So I was like that wouldn't be fair anyways. And she's like, oh, that's a good point, did it? Uh, we have this whole conversation again, pouring out our feelings. Again. We're too you know we're two conversations deep of like serious communication this is my second date. I mean, I've known her for a while but like this is my legit, like legit second date with this girl.
Brett:That's crazy crazy.
Payton:So anyways, then. And so then at this point after that conversation now it's like 1, 30, maybe like 2 in the morning I didn't end up getting home till 3 am, dang, keep that in mind you're almost chatting the whole time just chatting okay I mean because, like, she was cool enough to the point like where it's like if you make a joke and you like start like a bit like we would just kind of bounce off each other.
Payton:So it was fun, and that's where I was kind of forgetting all the things that she said. She would say a couple of things and I'm like wait, that was kind of funny actually, and so there were redeeming qualities of course, but yeah, just that. Anyways, at this point at 1.30 in the morning, then she, it gets silent or whatever, and I'm just kind of sitting there, I look over at her and then she leans in on me and we get about this close. Yeah, we're right next to each other and I'm like, hey, like angie, I don't, I don't think this is a good idea, I don't. Like I already said like that I wouldn't I don't think this is a good idea.
Payton:And so then she backs off and we keep she's, but then she like brings it up. We're talking about it. She leans in a second time so you're the swerver now so now and then, and then I swerve her again yeah so now I'm two for two, you're like a little taste of your medicine.
Payton:Yeah, how's it feel you know, shaking it to the man. So then, and then we keep chatting again. Then she leans in a third time. She has tried three times and I'm like dude, like I said we shouldn't yeah like I'm, I don't want to. But the third time she like licks my lip, it's two two thirty in the morning, when, when a girl licks, I'm sorry, all reason out the window yeah I have now abandoned my post at dignity station and I'm like, hey, it's, you know it's go time All guns all blazing so it's go time, and so then I tried to lean in on her, and then she swerved me.
Brett:What.
Payton:The most confusing girl on planet Earth. Make that make sense. Make it make sense, that doesn't at all. She leaned on me three times. Did you say something? Yeah, the third time, I was like what is wrong with you? That's what I said. I was like what is wrong with you, really? And I was because I was like, I was, I was mad, but I was also kind of like, nah, that was low-key, hilarious, you got me good yeah that was good, like that was good.
Payton:So I was like anyway. So yeah, she soars me and I was like what? And then anyway she was like puzzle yeah or no.
Payton:Actually, what it was was after she leaned in the third time and licked my lip. She was like. Then she told me she's like you are fumbling right now. She's like if you wouldn't have like, like you know, swerved me or whatever, like earlier, we could be in the back seat right now. Again, I'm a guy, yeah, I, you know. At two in the morning, all all of my thought goes from this head to the other head so, like at this point, I'm not thinking with my brain, you know, and so I'm like so then I lean in to kiss her.
Payton:And how do you give that speech about me fumbling? And yeah, swerve me, that's insane, bro. It had to be at like a control it must be like a power, yeah it had to be there's something wrong in there, though dude no, there had like.
Payton:Anyways, I lean in. The first time she swerves me and then I'm like okay, fine, you lean in on me then yeah, let's see what happens. And then she did. And then we ended up kissing. Bad idea, yeah, bad idea. After we kissed, she then ghosts me for four days, no contact, and then she breaks the silence by like hey, we should, we should just be friends. And I was like that's literally what I was telling you like five seconds before we kissed, so like I'm on board with that yeah so anyways that's insane crazy, I'll.
Payton:I'll make it fast, but there's another date because I ended up asking her to be my date to my friend's wedding. I was a freshman, so she ends up coming to the reception. It was a weird situation, cause I was up in South Weber like Ogden. It was like the latent temple, and so I'm already up. There is where the wedding, like the ceiling and everything was, and then the reception was like at six. Anyways, times got changed on me.
Payton:I had to be somewhere for reception photos yeah and I was like hey, like can you meet me like halfway, like at like 4, 30 or 5 or whatever? And she was like oh, I'm not home right now. No, like I won't be able to make it at that time, and I was like okay like that sucks, I'm sorry.
Payton:She calls me and then she rips into me for 20 minutes like hey, you didn't tell me the time, this is like, this is on you. Yeah, you didn't communicate with me and I is like this is on you. Yeah, you didn't communicate with me. And I was like and I literally she like says all this stuff. I'm like waiting to respond and I go dude, why are you pressing me right now?
Payton:get off my back and she was like and I've never said that to not even not, I've never said this to anybody in my life, but like she was like going at it.
Brett:Why are you attacking me? I was like back off, dude. Yeah.
Payton:So I say that and I was kind of like, okay, Pudge.
Brett:You're like dang didn't know where that came from.
Payton:It came out of nowhere. So I was like dude back off. Like the time changed on me. Yeah, and as soon as I said that, she was like oh, and I was like there's my magic trick, so, thank you, get away, you don't freaking, stop talking to me. And she's like well, do you have any friends going there? And I was like my co-worker and then my roommate are coming, like at like seven, and she was like well, can I go with them? And I was like I can ask yeah, why not, and I should have just lied.
Payton:I should have been like oh yeah, this girl's like low-key mean yeah, it's okay to tell a white lie sometimes, it's okay. I didn't lie. I asked my roommate. I'm like, hey, angie wants to get a ride to the wedding, when are you leaving? And he was like, oh, I'll leave at this time. And he was like we can take her. I was like, here she comes. Hey, yeah, wallet everything. Hey, hold this, and I'm holding it.
Brett:I'm like Just put it on the table right where you're at.
Payton:I'm like I'm not a coat rack, okay, so I put it in my suit coat and then we're eating food or whatever. And when she finishes her plate she's like she hands me her plate and she doesn't ask, she goes throw it away and I like grab the plate and I look at her and I go. I am not your servant.
Brett:Yeah.
Payton:And she's like can you please throw it away? I was like why do you want me to throw it away? I was like you have two legs.
Brett:Yeah. And I was like and the trash can is right there, and you've been mean to me all day.
Payton:Yeah, you've been mean, mean to me all day. They chewed me out like an hour ago, so the trash can's right there, and so, anyways, then she was like no, please throw it away for me and I was like it's gotta be a power trip, dude, okay okay, so then I throw it away for her. And again, I was just doing anything to kind of like preserve the piece because like she was just acting weird.
Brett:Anyways, music starts playing and I mean, you know me, I, there's time to dance. Yeah, the dance floor. Oh yeah, I'm a girl, I have to, you have my job.
Payton:I'm legally obligated absolutely so I sprint to the dance floor. I'm having so much fun one of my and then one of the groomsmen's. Like bro, like when a slow song comes on. Well, like they aren't had they all had their girlfriends and wives or whatever. He's like go get your date and we'll all like slow and I was like hold up right there, buckaroo.
Payton:She friend zoned me like two days ago and I'm super confused. Here's all the reasons why I'm confused. And he's like yeah, maybe not. He's like yeah, good point. He's like yeah, and so I'm like yeah, yeah. Dang dude so anyways, the slow song comes on, and instead of doing that, I just go out of the circle.
Payton:angie never ended up dancing, never came to the dance floor, neither did my roommate and co-worker, and so she just kind of was just latched on to them yeah so like those three were just just just sitting, just hanging out being boring just yeah, and I was kind of like whatever, anyways, you also friends on me, I've in my mind. I again I'm learning this now, but apparently, anyways, I always thought, if you friendzone me, I'm not gonna make a move right that's what friendzone means.
Brett:I'm pretty sure that's what it is.
Payton:Yeah, that's universal so if you want me to be friends with you, I'm going to honor what you want exactly, I'm not gonna make a move that's respectful apparently that was wrong.
Brett:Oh no dude, so anyways going it going.
Payton:This is the very end, but anyways, we send them off. We're standing in the cold, it's like low key. We're outside, it's kind of raining a little bit, but I was also sweaty as nuts.
Brett:Oh yeah, when you go to dance parties, it's the worst it's a furnace.
Payton:Dude, my suit coat is gross, like all wet, was like. So I was kind of like, oh, maybe I should offer my jacket to angie, but also like dude, this is disgusting. Yeah, I don't think she wants this. So I was kind of like and I mean, I was sitting there and I was getting cold, so I actually took it off, or I didn't take it off, but I was like, dude, I should because this is freezing. Anyways, we get in the car and I'm taking her home at this point and I'm like, how like? How was it? Like I had a lot of fun did you, you have fun.
Payton:And she was like, yeah, it was good. And then silent for a second and I'm like you know, silence before the storm.
Brett:Yeah, here we go.
Payton:And she's like so why didn't you dance with me? And I was like, here we go, Jumping right into it, huh.
Brett:We're just jumping right into the storm, so why didn't you dance with?
Payton:me why didn't you offer me your coat? And I was like, why didn't you? In my mind, I'm like in my mind I was. I didn't say this because I was like I had already said some pretty like sharp things I mean I've said, I've told you. So I was kind of like dude, like big battles, don't just be, you know mean yeah but I was sitting there and I was like dude, this girl's so entitled, like she is so entitled throw him a plate, yeah, yeah, and so I was like I didn't think that she wanted to she said you didn't ask and I'll go.
Payton:I apologize, but you, you friend zoned me. I didn't think that. You know, friends, slow dance together, right? That's not what. I'm not going to grab you by the waist, hold your hand and then, you know, sway you back at that, that's not what friends do yeah at least I don't think that and she's like, well, no, we were on a date and I was like, yeah, but we're friends, right, like that takes priority right respect like I should friends.
Brett:You put me there.
Payton:I should respect the friends, though, right and she's like well, you didn't even ask, you know. She's like I have this, you know standard and I. And she's like I'm disappointed and I was like, and I was like you're not my parents. I don't know why you're disappointed.
Brett:I'm disappointed in your puds. She didn't dance with me, you ass.
Payton:Crazy, that's nuts dude. It's an hour drive from where we were back to just to the Target parking lot, bro. She chewed me out for an hour and, like I was saying before, the whole time mad at you the entire time, the whole time. Oh my my roommate and my co-worker pull up. Next was while we're driving and they're like, hey, and I'm sitting there and I'm like just throw him the middle finger going down with the boat guys.
Payton:We're dying, you know anyway. So she chews me out the whole drive. You know just. I, you know I expected more of. She chews me out the whole drive, oh jeez, you know just. I expected more of you, all these other things, and I just a couple times I was like back up we are not dating. We are not dating. Wait a second, we're just friends. Yeah, you friends owed me for crying out loud Like you can't be serious.
Payton:Oh my gosh, dude, that's insane, it was a never-ending, just hour-long, like I have these standards da-da-da, and I was kind of like who are you talking First of all? Who do you think you are? Did we start dating four days ago, Dude? It was unbearable. So that is the three-part story.
Brett:That might be one of the most painful date stories I've ever heard.
Payton:Dude, it is so bad. That sounds one of the most painful date stories I've ever heard dude, it is so bad and there were a lot of details like, for example yeah, I'll say this on that drive. I'm like, look, I get it, you have your standards okay.
Brett:Yeah, I'll I'll respect that.
Payton:I'll respect that you don't have to change your standards. I was like but you know what you should do. I was like you know, because she would always say she's like oh, I know you so well, I go, if you know me so well, you should have known that saying what you're saying, the way that you're saying it, was going to hurt my feelings. I was like I'm just not. I was like it's pretty easy to tell that I don't really love confrontation.
Brett:Right.
Payton:And I was like I think most people don't. Yeah, I don't think that most people do so. I'm like, I understand that you have your standards. I was like but there is an easier way to communicate it. So then I was like let me summarize Keep your standards. Just say it in a way that I can receive it well. Yeah, help me understand it and I quote, I quote she says no, just what Period? No period, that was it. And I was like wow, and I go there's no compromise here.
Brett:And she says no, and I was like I'm not going to tell you what I'm thinking.
Payton:I was like there's no way, yeah.
Brett:And then she relates it Cause she was like, if I, she's like if too much or whatever she's like, then I'll end up because then she, she like too much. You're just asking her to talk, you're just like communicate a little bit better with me. If we're friends, we're friends if we want.
Payton:If you want to date me, let's date like but that's the thing is nobody knows what we were. Yeah, not even socrates could figure it out. You know, dude?
Brett:nobody doesn't seem like it. What was going?
Payton:it doesn't seem like it so then, yeah, then she was like then she brought up some like abusive ex-boyfriend she's like. I compromised with him and then, you know, he ended up like hitting me and I was like, first of all, we're not dating yeah we're not gonna, we're not, that's not an analogy that works that we don't do that you know.
Brett:It's not an analogy that works wait, nope, nope.
Payton:X there um wrong answer. We're not dating. Second. Second of all, I am I don't know, I think, I think this. I'm one of the least menacing human beings on planet earth.
Brett:You've always been a very nice guy.
Payton:I work, I really try to be as friendly as I can, so I am not that guy.
Brett:So first of all, we're not dating.
Payton:Second of all, I'm not that guy and, third of all, I'm not asking you to change your standards. Right, I said that. I was like I'm not asking you to change your standards, keep them. Yeah, just how you communicate them. Can we, can we agree on something, dude? And she was like no. And I was like all right, and again I just started laughing. I just started laughing. You're like this is a great bit.
Brett:You got going on.
Payton:I was like the boys are going to love this. Yeah, you're actually hilarious.
Brett:Let's keep you around.
Payton:No, that's crazy dude Insane, that is nuts.
Brett:I mean, we've been talking about this this is kind of the theme right now is like you learn from those experiences. They teach you a lot. It's like in the future I'm sure you'll be a great communicator, because you'll know exactly what not to do. Yeah.
Payton:So like like hey, more power to angie. But that's insane, dude, insane. She was all I remember we had a conversation too and I was like dude, you know what I really don't like, and this is personal preference so yeah, to each their own.
Payton:I was like, but if I compliment a girl I say, hey, you look really pretty, whatever. Um, I think again my opinion. I think the only right answer is thank you, yeah, thank you so much. That was very nice. That's what I think is. The only acceptable answer is thank you, yeah, thank you so much. That was very nice. That's what I think is the only acceptable answer. I was like I really don't like it when people just go. I know, you know, does that happen.
Payton:I said it has happened to me and I'm like dang, oh, my gosh, dude Like yeah. Anyways, and she started defending that, I was like I'm sitting there and again I'm just flabbergasted. There's no way. This girl's real Dude. That's insane. She has to be doing a bit. No, I feel like the right thing to do is like oh, that was so nice. Thank you, I thought that that was common sense.
Payton:Right, and she started defending. She's like no, if a guy says that I'm cute, I already know that I don't need him. I'm like that's not what I'm saying.
Brett:I don't know.
Payton:I tell my wife she's hot every day, yeah, and she's like thanks, and it's just thank you, yeah, because it's just simply a nice thing to say, that's all it is Nice thing to say. Dude yeah, so that again, just all these, the way that she just would like say words but then kind of flirt a little bit but then like be serious, but then like I don't know other times because I remember I was like why are you so mad right now is when we were driving home yeah like what did I do to deserve this react, this reaction?
Payton:and she was like I'm not mad right now. And I was like you're not mad right now. Yeah, I don't want to see you when you're.
Brett:If this is you not mad, I do not want to see what mad is because I can't imagine what that's going to be like it's gonna be three hours of of yelling at you dude.
Payton:Yeah, one hour wasn't enough, yeah that's crazy man insane so what a story, long story.
Brett:It's a good story, I mean builds on itself. Yeah, that's, we need all the details for stuff like that. That's why we have a podcast dude Exactly, talk about stuff. But that's wild. I mean, this is something I was going to ask you about anyways, baltimore Did you meet anyone as crazy as Angie in Baltimore? Because I've heard some stories about, like? I mean, I've heard about the Midnight Boys.
Payton:Yes, midnight Boys, midnight Boys, they're sick.
Brett:I thought they were fake.
Payton:They're real dude.
Brett:Did you ever see them? For the people who don't know what the Midnight Boys are, what are they?
Payton:It's a gang that at noon and at midnight they'll drive on like pit bikes or-. Quads and stuff right Quads motorcycles, whatever it is, through the streets of Baltimore and they pop wheelies that are so high that they're straight, vertical, that they're. They're the quads, and you know how does it work? They're straight vertical. So they're the 12 the we are, as the midnight boys are 12 o'clock boys something like that something like that, yeah, and so that's, and they just would have.
Payton:Like they were leaning so far back, like every single time they were always just had their hands down touching the ground.
Brett:That's insane. How did they not fall? That's crazy.
Payton:I think they do fall a lot, because I remember seeing people fall when they'd pop wheelies.
Brett:No way, I would just laugh.
Payton:I'm like that's hilarious.
Brett:Do they get up yeah? They get up and they're just like Get some road rash, it doesn't matter.
Payton:It was bad dude.
Brett:What was it like Because we both serve missions for our church. What was it like serving out there? Were you in the city.
Payton:Yeah, yeah. So I started in Pennsylvania and then I did a couple of cities around, but yeah, I was in Baltimore right as COVID hit.
Brett:Dang. Okay, it was wild. Whole city shut down then.
Payton:It was weird Because, like yeah, I was walking around outside before COVID. Things were normal. I remember someone mentioned COVID and, like I don't know, I wasn't really keeping up with the news at the time.
Payton:And so I was kind of like I don't know what that is, but he was like, oh man can't shake your hands, and I was like this bump. He said nope, and I was like elbow, Like let's go. All as you think it is, it is, it is Absolutely yeah. Like I'm like there and I've got a story of I got a gun pulled on me.
Brett:Did you really? Yeah, dude, let's hear it. Bring the sucker up just a little closer to you, okay, is that? Okay, you can move it, got it? Nope, I want to hear the gunshot. Or gun pulling.
Payton:Yeah, there was a guy that we were teaching. He was a member but he lived in the city and the ward that we were going to was a little bit just the place that I was assigned to was a little bit outside the city and so I remember I have to listen for a minute, Let me think he wasn't a member, but we contacted him because we were.
Payton:We were told by our mission president, like hey, start, there's already a spanish like congregation in the city yeah let's try and see if we can start one that's like outside of the city oh, so you still look spanish.
Brett:I didn't know that. Okay, cool it's cool, it's good um now say this whole story in spanish, please you got me there, dude, it's been four years I did not have that same skill, but, um, I'm trying to think.
Payton:Okay, so this guy lived in the city, but he was a part of the english ward that was just outside of the city and I was like oh, if he, like his name was jesus.
Payton:You know, caesar very hispanic name, Very um, he's from Mexico, Super great guy before he pulled the gun at me. Even then, if you pull it, it's an, you'll understand Nice he's. He generally was a nice guy, Um, but anyways he had a little spark in him, you know there was something there. Yeah that. So anyways, we. I remember we were like we'll go visit him, so we go talk to him, and he was just like oh yeah, like I loved helping with the missionaries when I was in.
Payton:Mexico, he's like. I was even doing it when I was in DC for a little bit, he's like, and then I moved here in Baltimore, he's like, and I kind of just fell off and I was like, well, do you like cool?
Brett:That's perfect.
Payton:That's great. So we've got a December Christmas thing, like first week of December the ward is putting on a little show like a little talent show, and he's like, oh, I've got a little daughter and he's like, and my girlfriend, she's not a member, so we could bring her to church and I'm sure she'd love to hear about Jesus and I go, that's great. So, anyways, then the day of the event or whatever happens, we're not supposed to give rides.
Payton:We had a car but we're not supposed to, or no, actually we didn't have a car. Then we were on bus and bike, yeah. So he was like, hey, can I like legit? Like 10 minutes before it started and it was easily like a 20 minute drive. Um, he was like, hey, can I get a ride? And to the event, and I was like we're already here, we've already like been helping set up.
Payton:I was like I let me call some people yeah, so I call up like the, you know just a bunch of people in the ward and everything, and lo and behold, nobody could give him a ride, dang. So yeah, I feel so bad for him like dude I'm.
Brett:I'm really sorry so he's not showing up this thing. So, yeah, he's not showing up this thing.
Payton:But he like starts to get like really sad. He's like no, like elders like my, you know, my daughter is really looking forward to this and I was like I know, but like do you have like a bus pass?
Payton:like I, I, I don't know, like I I can't give you my bus pass because mine's attached to my name, so like they won't let you on. Yeah, um, I, I, there's nothing I can do, and uh, so there were. Yeah, there really wasn't anything that we could do and he was just like he was. I could tell he was like super sad, he like called us.
Payton:He's like there's nobody and I was like I've called like eight people yeah like and the other they're either like already here setting up or I don't know. Nobody was just like really willing again, it was like so, so last minute that it was kind of like also you're like. You had a certain amount of miles exactly, yeah, so I couldn't just you have to like calculate how far you're gonna go each day.
Brett:Yeah, it was wild.
Payton:So I was like, uh, we used we. And then, yeah, we used bus. So I was like, can you get a bus? Like I was like I don't know, so there was nothing we could do, and so then he just kind of went zero, dark 30. Didn't hear from him and I was like crap, dude.
Brett:How long, how long did you not hear from him?
Payton:A couple weeks.
Brett:Okay.
Payton:So that was beginning of December, and then I remember because he was the type of guy that you text him, he texts back right away yeah even if he was at work, and so I was kind of like something's up. I mean, we know, we know what's up. I knew exactly what was wrong. I'm not gonna say that. But yeah, I was like dang dude, I need to like, you need to like, bring him a treat or something.
Payton:So a couple weeks go by and this was the week of christmas okay, I was like, hey, let's go see him, like let's go bring him some treats or whatever christmas, like it's not gonna make up for it, but hey, maybe we can put a smile on his face yeah, maybe we can do something.
Payton:Something's better than nothing. So I go and we get to his house, we knock on his door, no answer. Knock on his door, no answer. And I was like, if we knock a third time, is that like really annoying? Yeah, it is, but we did. And then he finally answered and I was like, oh, like hey, cecil, like what's up? And so we're talking with him and he's like hey, come on, come on inside. He's like actually, can you guys help me clean up a little bit? I was like, yeah, totally. So we like helped clean up his house.
Payton:Because, like his dog, had like just peed on the ground. So I'm mopping up some pee on the ground and I was with an elder who was from Peru. I was with an elder who was from Peru, okay, so he spoke just perfect Spanish.
Brett:Yeah.
Payton:And I'm sitting there and I'm like I don't know.
Brett:I'll get a couple words.
Payton:Yeah, I'll get a little bit, pero you say dog pee, pero and he was in the English word, so he would like kind of do the speak some English. Throw a Spanish word in there. And that's just kind of how he talked.
Brett:Yeah.
Payton:And that's just kind of how he talked, yeah, and so I got most of it. But anyways, he was talking and then he's like hey, elders, like try this. He like made a little treat and I was like oh, thank you so much, like hey, man, like how you been, and he was just like he sat down on his couch and he's like not good, and I was like I'm so sorry, like I know, I know about like the december thing. He's like yeah, he's like no, that was tough. He's like well, he's like I've been jobless for a little bit and I was like oh, really yeah he's like yeah, I've just been doing like construction jobs just on the side, like, but nothing like set.
Payton:And he's like and he's like my girlfriend's pregnant right now. He's like, and she's like, yelling at me to, you know, try and get this job. She's like I have, you know, all this pressure. He's like if I don't get a job, he's like I'm gonna get kicked out of my, of my house I was like oh my gosh.
Payton:Yeah, he's like, and he's like it's really unfortunate. He's like because I was running in the cartels in Mexico, no way. When I met the missionaries and they got me out of the cartels, he's like but I still know all those people and he's like, and he's like there are people on this street that I could go and I could get drug money right now he's like I could go get drug money right now and he's like and I need money.
Payton:He's like but I know that that's wrong, and so he's like but I need money. So bad right now, dude.
Brett:And he's like what do you do in that situation, Bro? I was like You're like 19 years old.
Payton:You're like okay, let me give you some life advice. He's talking about narcos and I'm just sitting there like I I don't know, I don't know, like I'm here, you know, my parents paid for my mission. I'm like I don't know how to do anything with money. So, yeah, exactly just that where I'm like, oh, shoot yeah what do I? How am I supposed to sit here and be like? You need to pray harder I'm not gonna be that guy.
Payton:I'm sorry, you know, this guy's going through some seriously dark times right. And then he's talking's talking. He's like. He's like, you know, he's like she's pregnant and she wants to abort it, but I want to keep it, yeah. And he's like so we're fighting with that Dang man, he's like. And then he's like I have my daughter who lives, would it be? What did he say? He starts to get seriously emotional as he's telling us the things just slowly and slowly getting more and more emotional, and I was like I'm sinking into my chair yeah, oh gosh, he's like washing things.
Payton:He's like washing dishes and he starts to get. And then he starts to get like really worked up yeah as he's like like angry now.
Brett:Yeah, he's getting angry.
Payton:and then he has, he has a knife, he's, he's cleaning a knife in his hand and it's like a pretty pointy one. That was pretty scary. It's kind of a big knife and he's facing away from me and I've got the mop. What am I going to do to defend against a knife? I've got? No defense, you've got the pee mop bro.
Payton:So I'm like sitting there and then he turns around and he goes. And when you elders, he's like when I couldn't depend on you guys, what did he say? He's like I couldn't depend on you guys, he goes. And my little girl cried because she couldn't go to the. You know the church talent so he goes, he points the knife at me, he goes.
Brett:That pissed me off and I go my you're like oh, this guy just told me he's, he's been in the cartels and now he's yelling at me with a knife.
Payton:Yep, he was telling us about his tattoos earlier and he had like people that died on his arms. And then he throws the knife in the sink, just throws it and he goes. That just pissed me off, and turns around and throws it and I was like oh dear, and so I look at my companion. What was nice was the guy from Hopefully it's a quick one, Just kidding. Hopefully he ends it and he goes. I've just been struggling with depression and anxiety.
Payton:I'm looking at my companion he knows like it's called capoira, capoira, I don't know, but it's like peruvian leg wrestling. Okay, and I don't know it's really good, like if someone like tries to like you know, jump on you. He knew exactly how to like defend it. So I was looking at, I was like get ready, get your legs ready. I was like please tell me, tell me. And he's sweeping up something over in the other room and he's just like but then, oh no, that's not what happened.
Brett:I lied.
Payton:He says that you pissed me off, but at that time, about two minutes earlier, my companion asked to go to the bathroom. So it's just me and this guy. It's one-on-one.
Brett:I'm dying in this situation I have no survival skills, this guy who has leg wrestling skills.
Payton:I'm like I need the leg wrestling, you know, yeah, and he's in the bathroom so it's just me and him and we're chatting. And then I'm like, oh, I'm, I'm so sorry, like what do I say? And then he's like I've been going through so much depression, so much anxiety, all the other things. He goes, he gets up and there's a gun on top of because, like he's got a sink and then he's got some cabinets above. He gets up and he grabs a gun and it's loaded. And he showed me.
Payton:Really so I know it was loaded, yep, it was very loaded. And he was like you see, that window that's open right there. And I was like, yeah, and he's like I was this close from pitching myself head first out of that window yesterday and I was like I'm, I didn't know what to say. I was like yeah I'm I'm so sorry.
Payton:Well, I'm like I'm glad that you're still here yeah like I'm glad that you didn't do that, like I was like, and so I'm trying to like, like hey, man don't get on the ledge, you know yeah I'm like we need you here, like we, you know, we love you, you know all these things.
Payton:I'm like, I'm trying to say I'm trying to say what I can, and then he goes, he goes, he's like, and so then he starts crying and he's got the gun and he goes and then he points it at me, and so this guy is not in a good mental health state and he's pointing a gun at me that's terrifying horrifying like he's still in the bathroom and so it's I'm soloing this and he's like. He's like when you made my daughter cry, I wanted to end it all.
Payton:I was like oh my gosh and he's, and then he's pointing it at me and he's super mad and he's just crying, and then he just, and then he just kind of drops it and he starts just sobbing yeah and I was like reach for the gun yeah, and he goes. He's like I just need. He's like I need. He's like I'm happy. But then he like looks at me. He's like I'm happy that you guys are here. He's like. He's like I just need a hug right now, man.
Payton:And so I'm like I got you okay, so I start hugging him and he's got the gun and he and we're hugging you know he's hugging over the shoulder and I was like please don't shoot me, yeah, please, please don't go off Like I'm really hoping that this is like a connection moment, not like a you know, I betrayed you, so I'm hugging him. He's like I just need a hug man, so I hug this guy and.
Brett:I calm him down three minutes I don't move, insane and finally, as we're hugging, my companion finally comes back out and so finally I've got back up hey, I don't know what you can do against a gun but hey, I feel safer you might be able to make some cool break dance moves exactly. That's crazy dude.
Payton:Yeah, then we ended up. I was like okay, dude, like what do we need to do? Like let's figure this out, and he's like I need to get this gun away from me, and I was like yeah, probably yeah.
Payton:So he goes in the other room and I look at my man, I'm like we need to leave, like right now. And then, as soon as I like, as soon as I say that, he comes right back and I was like, hey, hey, we're done finishing cleaning. Yeah, it's all clean, buddy. And then he was. When then we ended up chatting with him, he's like no, guys, please don't leave yet. And I was like, oh, okay, okay, yeah. So they ended up staying for another 30 minutes or whatever hour and basically talked him off the ledge and was like, hey, how about we talk about some good experiences with God and good experiences that you had when you got baptized and how you felt?
Payton:and all that jazz and so, yeah, by the end it was like, okay, okay.
Brett:I don't know how you kept your cool man Dude I was. That's like a miracle in itself.
Payton:It was insane. I was tweaking, I was sitting there. On the inside I was like I'm going to die, I'm literally going to die, and on the outside I was like we love you.
Brett:We love you, man. I was like, how did I pull that off? I don't know.
Payton:I mean like it had to be God. It had to be God.
Brett:Like I look back on.
Payton:it was my fault, at least he thought it was my fault that he didn't get to go.
Brett:I made his cartel.
Payton:This guy had killed. Yeah, he had killed and all of the things had. It was a drug runner, all these things for years. And oh yeah, and he's like yeah, there's the Sinaloa mafia. It's a guy I have a cousin that's in that, in that cartel.
Brett:No way.
Payton:In Baltimore. He's like I know where he lives, all the other things. He's like you want to see something crazy? He showed me a picture. I was like what is this? It's like oh yeah, he was going down the street with 45 grand in drug money $45,000 in his in his glove box. Cops pulled him over. And this is a I was like I didn't say that and he's like, look, and it was yeah $45,000 taken. I was like that's nuts.
Payton:And he's like and you also look under there. He's like look on this next picture, or whatever he's like, that's a picture of the drugs that they took as well.
Brett:Holy crap, dude. I was like oh my god, that is terrifying.
Payton:Insane dude.
Brett:There really is something to Like God protecting you, though, in those situations, because I had some weird run-ins on my mission.
Brett:Oh yeah, I had a guy that was. He started selling meth when he was 17. And he got caught when he was 19. So he was doing it for like two years but he ran a huge meth lab him and his buddies, oh my gosh. And so he gets arrested and when he gets out of prison he became a member of the church and stuff. But in prison he's like you have to survive in a gang in prison. And I walk into this guy's house when he's telling us this story. We're sitting on the couch. He has pirate-themed everything, so pirate blankets, pirate decorations. He has pirate tattoos all over him oh my gosh.
Brett:And he's just tatted up like to the max and um, he's telling me like, yeah, like sometimes, like you know, the pedophiles would get killed in prison with, uh like the top of cans, you know, like you open up a can, they fold them, make a knife with them and sharpen it and then in the showers, slip people's throats. So he told me. And then, like he's telling me all these things, I'm like he had like crack people's throats. So he told me. And then, like he's telling me all these things, I'm like he had like cracked people's skulls in in prison to like tell people he's not to be messed with. And he was a skinhead, so he was like a neo-nazi, oh my gosh. And um, me and my companion dude he was actually from mountain view um, he dated meg olson oh yeah but dan gl is his name.
Brett:Okay, so Dan and I are sitting there and Dan and I just like I don't know. We always like to have fun with our people we were talking to and stuff. And so we're like you know, out of those tattoos, like how did you get them in prison? And stuff. And he's telling us like they would break pens, they'd have needles and stuff and like put it in a straw tube and then like literally like tap it on you a bunch of times. It's like prison tats, yeah, and that's crazy. Dan goes do you have any that you regret?
Brett:No hesitation, this guy gets up off the couch, rips off his shirt which is he rips off his wife beater, his gross tank top, and he points to his back. Dude, a swastika the size of like a dinner plate is on his back. Oh my gosh. He's like definitely this one. And we're like whoa, like all right, oh my gosh. And we're like what the heck do we do? That's crazy. He was a super nice guy, like he loved us, but like had some weird run-ins and then like I don't know One, and they're like I don't know we um one time we're in a trailer park and we were walking to this one house and I'm not even kidding, this is like a horror movie, dude. No lights are on on the outside, but there's one lamp on the inside. The curtains are drawn and you can see like a silhouette, like looking out outside, and we're like what? That's really creepy. And then we like start walking into this house. It was like I don't know, maybe it was like seven o'clock in minnesota winter time.
Brett:it gets dark close or real early there, and so we're walking up this house and this guy's like um, he's like starts shifting inside and he like runs to the door and we're like this is weird, like we gotta start turning around, and so we like just walk away, we're like we're not going up to that door because, like we know he's behind that door. Yeah. So he's either like waiting to like open it real quick, or something like that, or he's like locking it up and like hopefully, he's locking it up, hopefully. And so we get back in the car and, as we're driving away, he like runs out of his lawn and we're like that could have been really weird, but like just weird stuff like that weird stuff, yeah, but I don't know.
Payton:I mean, you just can't explain.
Brett:Yeah, like, yeah, like if I would have stayed I could have died, yeah and you just get weird feelings like oh yeah, for me it's like that was for sure, god being like get out of there yeah like walk out of there and it's, it's, it's cool, because I don't know yeah if, uh, you felt that like after the mission, but on the mission it's like amplified, oh for sure it's pretty cool.
Payton:Yeah, I remember there was one time we were walking down the streets of baltimore. This was on halloween. Bad idea do not be in this, in the heart of baltimore on halloween that sounds as missionaries as missionaries. Yeah, oh, it was a bad idea. There's a group of like 15 16 year old kids. Uh, there's probably like four or five of them yeah and they're all wearing like the Jabberwocky masks.
Brett:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the dance ones With all the slits right here and right here yeah creepy, kind of terrifying Purge ones almost.
Payton:Basically yeah. And, in sync, we're standing across the street from them. We were trying to deliver a Bible to somebody and, literally all at the same time, I turn around, I'm like looking at them and I'm like, oh, is that like? Is it like a? Dance group or something All at the same time. They just all stare and look at me and I go I dropped the Bible. I'm like we need to get out of here now.
Brett:You guys need this book. That's so creepy.
Payton:So then we got out of there and I was like, yeah, we need to not go back to that house, not if the sun is down. That's terrifying. No man, it was scary. I was like I don't know what they're gonna do. And then when you're in baltimore too, yeah, sirens 24 7 oh, I believe it for seven. That's insane choppers there were a couple times. We'd be walking along. It'd be a helicopter and a light would shine on us and I'd be like, hey man, we didn't do nothing yeah, preaching the word yeah, I saw people.
Payton:I saw cops pull over like a bus, get everyone out of the bus and like they arrested like probably four or five people. They were just laying on the ground.
Brett:We're on our way Like they were on the bus. What the heck dude they pulled a bus over.
Payton:I was like I didn't even like. Now I think about it, like obviously you can do that before that's insane, insane dude.
Brett:It was just like stuff like that, where you're just like huh, you're like what, if I was here a couple minutes earlier, what would happen? But exactly it is wild man, like and to like, bring it all together. It's like all these things. They teach us stuff and as weird as it is like you know, seeing a skinhead show me a swastika tattoo and stuff, it's like you know, it's uh, put some hair on your chest I don't know, taught me like how to grow up a little bit like going through that stuff.
Brett:And yeah, definitely the mission like oh, yeah, I mean, you knew me in high school, I was a wild kid. And now it's like, yeah, I think I've had a grown up like grow up a lot, um can't be you know.
Payton:Sure, grow up a lot, um can't be you know, sure Burning down trailers anymore but, you know, I mean, yeah, I think it goes to show like you could be in you know dangerous situations or whatever. And then it's just like yeah, I you know, I thank God for his hand you know, in helping me say what was you know needed to be said.
Payton:You know, keep my cool, all these things because, yeah, there's there's so many other situations as well where it's like I don't know. One big thing that I've been thinking about a lot is I'm like dude, because I've tried, you know, to do what god tells me. I'm not nobody's perfect. I'm not perfect. I'm not listening 100 of the time. Yeah, but because, like we try to do that, there's so much like regret that I have seen that I've saved myself from like I have an uncle who he also went to jail and he was like telling me like stories like that, like this was probably a couple months ago, um, but yeah, he was telling stories. No, not a couple months ago, it was legit like thanksgiving, so it was yeah, like over half a year ago. But yeah, he was like telling us stories like that and he's like, oh, dude, he's like I started with, you know, this drug.
Payton:Yeah, and then it led to this drug he's like, and then I was with friends who were dealing drugs, so then they got me more drugs. He's like so then he got locked up because of you know are using drugs.
Brett:I've always been like ah, I should probably leave.
Payton:Hey man, if you want to do that, do your thing. That's not me. I'm not going to be holier than thou but, I'm just going to remove myself because I know that I just don't feel comfortable here, and it's been so helpful because it even leads into other things, like which friends you should, you know, prioritize.
Brett:Oh, for sure, dude yeah.
Payton:So it's like there's the super serious stuff where it's like holy crap, you know, these guys are doing something that I just really do not agree with versus like I don't know.
Brett:Yeah. Helps you be with spot right or right time, right place for you know maybe even if you meet your wife or whatever.
Payton:It is, things like that. So I don't know, trusting god, is it's really cool to see, like, sometimes you can't see it because there's a lack of bad things. That's what I, that's what I've been noticing. I'm like, okay, I just I'm. I've been saved from all these situations where I don't know, whereas, like, I don't even realize. I'm like, oh, I'm actually I'm not, you know cracked out on the streets of you know some city seriously where I could be vegas and vegas.
Brett:I could be right, but, like you know, because I'm doing xyz and I'm just trying, I'm not yeah, and I think that's that's the whole point is like just try and do your best, like that's literally all God asked of us is try and do your best and help someone else, like be there for other people. But I really think, like what you said with trusting God and like trusting his timing and stuff, like things will work out for you. I know you're going through like a lot of stuff like that right now, like personal stuff, like we're um. I know I are going through like a lot of stuff like that right now, like personal stuff, um, like we're trying to have kids.
Payton:Yeah.
Brett:I don't have sperm, surprise, Um. But like stuff like that, like we're trying to like work through it and we have faith. It's like you know what It'll work in God's timing. Um, so it's like, again, just try and be the best you can try and help others along the way.
Brett:And yeah, like you said, um, those people who have gone through those experiences that like teach you what you don't want in life, can be some of the best teachers ever. Like I have a very close family member who has taken like a drastic turn in their life and like they lost one of their kids, they like, yeah, they that kid was adopted, so still alive, but like she lost her rights and stuff to it. Um, all because of her decisions. Like all because of her choices. And it didn't start, like you know, hard drugs. It was like one choice at a time and yeah, um, just a slippery slope it really is and it's like I don't know.
Brett:I tell people the same thing happens with discipline. Like you do one discipline thing and it'll start the whole chain reaction oh yeah um, same kind of principle. So it's like you choose which path you want to go down. Yeah, one's obviously easier than the other, but the easier path leads to a harder life? Oh, yeah, for sure.
Payton:It's like I remember I saw spencer um walker. He posted on his story and there's something that I I've always thought oh, yeah, for sure. I remember I saw Spencer Walker. He posted on his story and this is something that I've always thought of. It's like choose your heart. It's like waking up at this time. Every single day is hard. Working out every single day is hard. Getting after it is hard.
Brett:It's tough, but so is being lazy, because you get to a point where you know you, you don't like anything you let it get far enough, you get obese and then you're gonna have a ton of health issues, like your joints are gonna hurt, you're gonna get diabetes, heart disease pick your heart man, yeah, pick your life like that, yeah, you pick your heart.
Payton:If you can just, like right now, do something that you know maybe puts you out of your comfort zone, it doesn't even have to be something crazy. I'm reading Atomic Habits right now and it's like, dude, 1% changes go such a long way. Like you're saying, one disciplined action it can lead to two, and then you get to a point where it's no longer like a conscious oh, I am thinking about doing this, this, this and that it just becomes nature.
Brett:Yeah, it's like a habit, yeah, atomic Habits. I love that book. There's a I think there's a story in there where there's some guy who wants to get in shape and he's like I'm just going to go to the gym and I think he goes to the parking lot and then drives home, yeah, and then he goes in the next day like showed up, and then crazy, like it's cool, and it does like spiral into that kind of stuff and yeah, man, I mean I think it's it's a lifelong practice but, like you know, a lot comes from it. It's very fulfilling.
Payton:So for sure, and like I'm sure, it's the same thing with running with you I'm sure it was like.
Payton:I mean, now you're running, you know marathons and going, going crazy, but I'm sure when you started I don't know, because I've been trying to run it, it's like I could do like two, three miles right now, so I would assume it was probably that way with you. But, yeah, you start there and then now I mean, look at you now, yeah, and in fact you're at a point where it's not this, I assume that it's not this grueling discipline where it's like, oh my gosh, like I have to, you know, go run this, whatever I mean.
Payton:It seems again as an outsider perspective, like it seems like you enjoy it and like it's something that brings so many health benefits. It's so disciplined, like all these things. I'm like I see you and I'm like, dude, that's what a good example, you know, cause I'm like I need to run, know I need I need to treat my body with you know, respect and care and and love um, but it's hard, you know and then definitely pick your heart, yeah, you know so.
Brett:Yeah, I mean like running's a good example because like, yeah, I am running like marathons now, like ultra marathons um, it's fun, like it's. It's definitely hard, um, but when I started, I was doing like 11 minute per or yeah, 11 minute miles, so I was pretty slow. Yeah, and then doing like 11 minute per or yeah, 11 minute miles, so I was pretty slow, and then doing like two miles every now and then I think, when I hit like seven miles one time, that was like my biggest distance I've ever done and I was like I'm so pumped.
Payton:But it felt crazy.
Brett:And then, yeah, now, like four and a half years later, I've gotten to the point of qualifying for Boston. But it's just a discipline. It's a daily discipline and, yeah, not every day I want to wake up and go run. Actually, most days I would rather stay in bed. I don't want to get up and go do this. I don't want to go run 10 miles right now, but I know what comes on the other side.
Brett:And it's like I'm proud of myself for it. I know the benefits that are going to come mentally to me, to my body and stuff too, my health. But yeah, it's all about choosing your heart. Figure out which one you want.
Payton:Yeah, I love that. I think about that a lot where I'm just like, yeah, dude, sometimes it's hard to be know, be dedicated to god yeah, yeah, sometimes it's hard to be, get it be dedicated to running. And yeah, when I say sometimes, generally most of the time, most of the times it is I wouldn't say yeah, that it's like something so easy, but like it just. That's just your life now yeah you don't really question it.
Payton:Yeah, it sucks. I mean, I mean, and I'm sure it wouldn't take a lot for you to just sit in bed, but it's like, hey, there's 10 miles that have to be ran today they just have to be ran and there's. There's no getting around it.
Brett:So do you know what david goggins is? Every time I'm thinking in bed, like I'm laying in bed, I'm like maybe today I'll, I'll skip it. There's this video. I always freaking play in my head where David Goggins goes so you're going to be a bitch today. And I'm like, oh, dang it, I've got to get up. You're like no, I'm like no, it's the worst. But yeah, dude, I think it's important. I know we've been going for an hour and 20 minutes, so quite some time. Yeah, we're just chatting, just Just chatting, but I think it's a good place to wrap up Anything like that. Last thing, I'll ask you If there was someone who was looking to start their career, because I know you've studied a lot in college and you just graduated and now you're going into dentistry or dental school that's what it's called. Right, that takes a lot of grind, that's a ton of work. A lot of studying Also takes a lot of grind that's a ton of work, a lot of studying.
Brett:Yeah, um also takes a lot of commitment yeah like for people out there who want to start something, like maybe they want to take a chance on themselves, maybe they want to become a nurse, or like they just want to take a chance and do something new yeah, like what would you say to that person to, like, you know, let them know that it's like okay to be a beginner, to start getting after in their own way.
Payton:That's a good question. Um, that's definitely something that I battled with, because at BYU it was so interestingly competitive. You know, I'd be like dang, I'd be talking to some kids that I don't know. Maybe it was pretty early on in the semester and I'd be like, dang man, that test or that assignment was kind of tough and there'd be a couple people that were like that was tough for you. And I was like yeah, jackass, it was hard, you jerk.
Brett:Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you anymore.
Payton:So, yeah, I definitely struggled with being like hey, you know, oh, like this is hard for me or it maybe doesn't come super easily for me at first Um, I don't know, I I found, uh, yeah, it is okay to be a beginner.
Brett:Yeah.
Payton:Everyone was a beginner and you know, and I thought about that a lot Um, I remember as well there was a, a talk that I read um, because when I was in chemistry, when I was in the second, my second chemistry class, so chem two, I remember I was sitting there. I was like dude I don't know if I'm cut out for this like like there are teachers going over some, I don't know reaction.
Payton:I'm sitting there I'm like that does not make any sense. And I was like and I'm, you know, in in chem two, I'm, I'm barely a sophomore and I, I can't get this. Yeah, I was like dude, I don't even know what you know dental school is going to be like. Well, come to find out. Good news with dental school is like they want you to pass so badly yeah because I mean, if you think about it, it's like hey, we come to our dental school, only 10 of our students actually pass well, that's great so like there is in terms of med school, dental school, like there are so many once you get there, like there are so many resources, like they want you to succeed.
Payton:Um, but what I would say is, you know, and I'm sure you've had this as well, I'm sure it probably relates like the runner's high. Maybe you know when you're like, if you have to run up a hill and you're like, wow, this sucks so bad, I kind of like it. That's kind of hilarious. Like we were saying about the mission before, like this is so terrible, that's kind of funny. That's how I would kind of think about a lot of things in terms of studying or whatever. I'm like dude, I have this whole mountain of things to get through, especially, yeah, in Chem 2, even Chem 1, I'd be sitting there and I was like this is supposed to be a review and it's not.
Payton:I'm like what is this stuff? When I'm starting out, I just remember being like you know what. I'm just going to accept the idea that this is going to be a grind and, as soon as I can accept that it's going to take effort, that it's going to be hard, it's going to, it's probably going to be long, I'm probably not going to be super you know happy. Anytime that I start to have doubts, I can remember oh yeah, I knew that it was going to be like this and so you know, when I would get there, I'd be like dang, I knew that it was going to be like this. But, like you were saying before, I want to take a chance on myself. I want to be the one that controls my future.
Payton:I can't exactly control the test grade that I get, but I can control how much I study for it and if I at the very least feel comfortable about maybe going through past assignments or whatever, as soon as I feel comfortable about the review materials going into the test, okay.
Brett:Good to go.
Payton:I'm good, I have grinded, I did what I needed to and I can feel comfortable. And even even when you know, when I got that 60% of the test, I was so mad I was like dude, what the heck. But then I kind of was like but I did prove to myself that I can do that.
Brett:Yeah.
Payton:But I was like you know what I need to do. I need to not put myself in a situation where I have to do that.
Brett:Right.
Payton:So that was what I learned from that, because it was either cram for 20 hours or fail it more.
Brett:I love that. That's such a good mindset.
Payton:So yeah, just accept that. It's a grind Right, accept it, and it doesn't have to be easy.
Brett:Yeah, sometimes it's hard. If it's something worthwhile, it's not going to be easy. Exactly.
Payton:And I was like I want to be this, I want to be that guy, yeah, and this is what it takes.
Brett:Okay, I love it Okay.
Payton:You win, I'm not going to fight it. You win, I will follow the grind.
Brett:Yeah.
Payton:The grind is going to tell me what to do and I'm just gonna you know, follow just see where it takes you yeah, and it's been. It's been good because I, you know, I'm not sitting here like man. Why did this teacher, you know, expect this of me? I'm like sometimes I mean, I, I still feel that way, I'm a human, but like I'm not. It doesn't take a lot of space in my head yeah, you're not making excuses, exactly.
Brett:It's just.
Payton:This is what it is, you know the grind is there, so just yeah accept it, go with that flow yeah, get it done yeah, get it after, get after it, yeah I love it, dude.
Brett:That's such a good mindset like, especially with the beginner piece, like yes, it's okay to be a beginner, and I think, like you said, like try and make fun of yourself a little bit. Like go listen to my first episodes of this thing, it's the worst thing you'll ever hear.
Payton:It's so bad.
Brett:It sounds like I'm talking like this. It's so bad and I have no idea what I'm talking about, but like I've been doing this for almost three years and it's like I knew it was going to be hard doing it and just committed to it. Yeah, like we'll see where it goes. Yeah, dude.
Payton:I love it.
Brett:What a good way to close out.
Payton:Perfect, perfect ending.
Brett:You're the man, dude. I appreciate the hell out of you for coming out here, Dude I appreciate you.
Payton:You're a role model for me. I don't know what you're talking about.
Brett:This is freaking fun, no, dude, I mean, that's the thing it's like everyone has things that we can learn from. I did Dude. You're the man. I appreciate you coming on. Of course, everyone else. Thanks for listening. Rate the show if you liked it at all and, as always, keep getting after it. Dude, you're the man. That was freaking good.