182 - The Comfort Trap: Why Playing It Safe Is the Riskiest Thing You Can Do

The safest decision you ever made might be the one that's quietly destroying you. Comfort doesn't look like weakness, it looks like a steady paycheck, hitting your numbers, and being good at something you hate. 

That's exactly what makes it so dangerous.

In this episode, I'm getting personal. Ally joins me as I talk about something I've been struggling with, the slow realization that playing it safe was costing me more than any risk ever could, and what the trails taught me about the kind of person I refuse to let comfort turn me into. 

This one isn't theoretical, I'm still in the middle of it.

What you'll walk away with:

• How to recognize the comfort trap before it's taken years from you
• Why your fear of risk is probably aimed at the wrong thing
• The honest questions to ask yourself when something needs to change
• How to move with intention instead of just blowing everything up
• One simple challenge to take back control, this week

I'm not through this yet, guys. But that's exactly why I wanted to talk about it. If you're sitting with that quiet feeling that something needs to change, this episode is for you.

If this one hit home, share it with someone who needs to hear it, it genuinely helps more than you know. And if you haven't already, drop a rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It takes thirty seconds and it helps the show reach more people.

Keep Getting After It, my friends. 

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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.

Getting After It is for those who. want to silence their self-doubt. Refuse to be owned by comfort. Understand their limits are man-made and breakable. We live in a time of constant comparison. Social media drowns us in highlight reels and overnight success stories. But what most people don’t see is the grit behind it all. The reps. The quiet mornings. The sacrifices. The failures.

You are just getting started. Keep Getting After It. 

Transcript

Why Safe Choices Can Hurt

SPEAKER_03 0:00

The safest decision you've ever made might be the one that's quietly destroying you. I'm not talking about big risky decisions. I'm talking about the safe ones. Safe decisions look responsible. It's things like, you know, I have a staple job. I don't want to take a risk. Um, I don't want to try that new thing because I'm comfortable where I'm at. And over time, that comfort can bleed into other aspects of your life and kind of slow you down. I've noticed it in myself sometimes. And I I think it's a problem that lots of people have in society in general, just because it's it's easy. Everything that we have now is very easy to obtain. Like Amazon, you want something, it's right there. You want to go get some food, there's plenty of places that you could go to. And there's a lot of there's a lot of growth and opportunity that happens on the other side of comfort, which is what we're gonna be talking about today. Is how do we get past that fear? What do we do to mitigate that? And how can we ultimately step out of our comfort zone and ultimate and try and grow? That's what getting outfit's all about, that's what life's all about. And today, I have my lovely wife, Alessandra. She's joining me.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Hello.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

Welcome.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

You can call me Allie.

SPEAKER_03 1:28

I I call her Allie most of the time. I just think Alessandra's beautiful. It's a great name.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Not you. I'm just saying it might be hard for others to say.

unknown 1:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

It is a very long, it is quite I realize you do call me Alessandra most on the podcast.

SPEAKER_03 1:41

I do. Well, I think it's professional and trying to have a professional tone here, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Well, I appreciate it. Thanks for having me back.

SPEAKER_03 1:47

Of course. Always. And I actually I brought you on for a couple of reasons. One, I want to talk to you. You're my favorite guest. But two, I think you've also experienced what it's like to go from comfortable to trying to grow. And I would love for you to share that experience. I'll I'll lead you to it. Um, I'll get you to that point to where you talk about it. But um, and then on the contrast, there's me who's kind of going through it right now. Um, there's a lot that I'll I'll dive into specifically about that, but I think it I just wanted to get two different perspectives of someone who's been through an area where they they noticed that they could grow, and then someone who's trying to do it right now. Um so hopefully that helps. But before we jump into it, welcome to the Geting After Podcast, my friends. Happy to have you here. As always, um, it means a lot that uh you sit here and listen to what we have to say. Uh I want it to be valuable, so uh I take this very seriously. But before we start, we have some news.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

We got some big news.

SPEAKER_03 2:50

We got some big news.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

I got a baby in my tummy.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

Allie's pregnant. You got a baby in your tummy.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

I do.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

And if you've listened to this podcast, you know kind of the struggles that we've been through. And this baby is nothing but a miracle. Allie and I are unbelievably excited to be parents.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

To a baby boy.

SPEAKER_03 3:10

Little baby boy. Yeah. So we we got some names picked out. We're not gonna share them here today because come on.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Because they're up in the air.

SPEAKER_03 3:18

It's up in the air.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

But just know their names are after powerful little the little boys' name is You'll know that these are Brett inspired. Well, they're powerful, which I support and I like them.

SPEAKER_03 3:28

They're good names, great names, yeah. Come on.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Um, we're really excited.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

Yeah, we're very excited. So a little thank you for your prayers. Prayers are answered. I guess I will say that before we kick this off. And regardless if you believe in a God, which I think you should, prayers are answered. He hears what you plead with him about. And August of last year, I had zero sperm count. Zero. And I have that for the past three years.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Probably more than that.

SPEAKER_03 4:03

Probably more, yeah. But that's it's nothing but a miracle to me. Yeah. So thank you guys um for your prayers. And I know it's kind of been interesting following along with our little journey here, but it happened, and we're so excited.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

Due September.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

Due in September. National Getting After Day is September 27th, so hopefully they're not born that day, though. Yeah. I want them to have their own day.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

True. Um, anyways, National Getting After Day slash Brett's birthday as well.

When Being Good At Work Isn’t Enough

SPEAKER_03 4:31

Yeah. So absolutely. Um, why don't you give a little teaser of what you're gonna talk about? And then I'll talk about mine.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

I don't know what I'm teasing about.

SPEAKER_03 4:39

CFI to pilot.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

I would say that was a big shift. So I guess one of the biggest stepping out of my comfort zone times in my life had been going from instructing as or in a little Cessna on one-on-one. I got familiar, comfortable with my students, with the maneuvers, with the material. Going from that to an Airbus is shocked that that's legal and allowed, but it is. And and that transition was wildly overwhelming.

SPEAKER_03 5:21

Beautiful. Yeah, we'll talk about that because there's a lot of lessons I think you learned during that time that I'm learning now. So I'll go ahead and kick it off. I want to tell my story and um some of the things I'm going through, and if my work watches this, okay. But I'm gonna be honest. Like that is, I I believe.

SPEAKER_00 5:40

I didn't even think about that. That's pretty funny.

SPEAKER_03 5:42

Yeah, you know, it is what it is, if it happens. Um, but I want to be honest with the things that I'm going through, and I want to be real with the audience, like getting after it, I'm always gonna be real with you guys. And about four years ago, I got into sales. I didn't really know, like, I didn't really know what was in store for me. Um, I came from just starting a marketing agency and running it with my brothers for three years and decided I wanted to try something new. My favorite piece about the marketing agency was working with people, and I figured sales, you're always working with people, you're always talking to people.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Well, one of my favorite things about you going to sales is that you didn't quite know you were going into sales.

SPEAKER_03 6:22

That's true. Yeah, when I took the position, I thought it was a marketing position, honestly. Um, and when I got there, I was kind of taken aback. I was like, oh, okay, this isn't marketing at all. This is this is sales.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

But you were still in a position to do what you enjoyed with people and stuff.

SPEAKER_03 6:39

Yeah, no, and and don't get me wrong, like I've I've definitely enjoyed my experience the past four years. Right. Um, but it hasn't been recently where it feels like something is off. And I've been doing like a deep dive into why I decided to go into sales and all those things. So yes, I didn't really know. But when I was there, you know, I I I performed well, and I think that's the the hard piece is like I was doing great. Um I missed my number, and we had monthly quotas, but I missed my number the entire time I was in sales twice. And I remember those months and they sucked, and I thought I was gonna get fired, but I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

Um I remember that as well.

SPEAKER_03 7:17

Yeah, and so like I never asked myself though, do I actually want to do this? And because I was good at it, I thought that that's what I should be doing. Uh because I'm I'm can go up and talk to someone, and within 30 seconds we're friends. Um that's why I love trade shows, it's kind of fun. But like that's not the same thing as wanting to do something. And I do want to be very clear. I'm in a good spot right now, and I think because I'm in a good spot, that's where I'm having these realizations. Because what I don't enjoy the work. Like, that's the truth. That's the honest answer, is I don't enjoy the work. Um and that's a hard place to live in. It's a really hard place to live in because your job is it's it's nine to five, five days a week. So I'm spending, you know, at least 40 hours a week doing something that I do not enjoy, and it's difficult. Um and the why behind it, why I decided to stay was yes, I was good at it. The paycheck was healthy and nice, and for me it was the path of least resistance. Because I just I tried like, okay, well, I'll do this, I'll try and get promoted. But the more I got promoted, the more I hated it.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Right. Um It's the the new position that is the most frustrating part, it sounds like the work that you don't want to do the most.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

Yeah, and I think it's been just like a a realization, uh, a slow realization. And it's funny because Chris Williamson, he has all these lessons that he calls unteachable lessons. And one of them is to not chase money. And I've been chasing money for the past four years with something I I don't typically like to do. Like I enjoy the people aspect, but I don't enjoy the chase where I have to you know go and find someone, have lots of conversations with them, continue bringing them through. Maybe that deal falls through, maybe they close, but then I gotta do it all over again. It's the same process over and over again, and it's very monotonous, but it's also very difficult. And it's just you know something that I I haven't realized until now. And so Chris Williamson's unteachable lesson definitely applies to me right now because in what he means by that is you can't learn that from someone else until you live it yourself. And that's things like you know, you don't like that girl, she's just pretty and hard to get. That's one of the things he says. Or uh same thing with the job, you don't like that job, it's just it pays you well. Um Do you remember any of his other ones? Anyways, they're all lessons like that, where something you have to live through something to actually learn the lesson.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

I think one of them is something like um, like, oh, I guess it's kind of what you just said, money doesn't bring happiness.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

And everyone's like, yeah, right, if I had a million dollars, that'd be great, you know. But then you get a million dollars and no one's happy unless they have other satisfactions in life.

SPEAKER_03 10:20

Yeah. And so it's made me do like a lot of soul searching in a sense. Makes sense. Like, why am I not happy in this role? What do I not like about it? And I've had to take a step back and actually do the work that's required to understand, like, okay, what are the pros, what are the cons. And I think that's something that you have to include in part of a process like this is evaluating what you know, what is good and what is bad, and then what the outcomes could be if you stay or if you go.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

Let me ask you this. Obviously, this is a newer role, new responsibilities, new company. What about it do you feel like is pushing you out of your comfort zone? Or what's like the what's the reason you're feeling so uncomfortable in this new position? I know it's a lot of change, but like do you think that you're the reason that it's been so difficult is because it's uncomfortable right now?

SPEAKER_03 11:14

It's a great question. I don't think so. And I've thought a lot about that, and yes, it's like a lot of processes are new. Uh it's a new team, it's a new company, so I have to learn a bunch of new things. And um I enjoy the data piece of it, but what I've been asked to do is not what I expect it to be doing. And um on top of that, like I I know I'm not someone to shy away from discomfort and uncomfortable situations. You know, I I try and train for that specific reason. So when life does throw challenges at me, I'm a little bit more prepared for them. I know how to handle things. Um I would mainly say that it's just I don't enjoy the work. Like I don't enjoy the the hustle of of sales, really. Like going after and trying to find all these people, reaching out to them, getting contracts signed. Like it's not what I want to do. And I was thinking about this all weekend, and I think the main reason why I feel uncomfortable in this position is because it's very solo. And I really like to interact with the team, but I also really like it when I was working at the marketing agency, when I was the point of contact for a person, like a one of our clients, and I was the one who was able to come up with solutions and uh help them if they were stuck or if they needed to answer some or they needed to ask some questions about their advertisements and their reporting. And I really enjoyed that aspect. It like it felt like I was helping them, and it here it just doesn't feel like I'm helping anybody but myself. And that's kind of tough. Like you could argue that by selling the product that I sell, I might be helping someone, like either achieve better growth, have more bandwidth on their team, but it's just I feel like it's all just solo, it's very lonely, and I I don't think that's that's what I want. I want to interact with the team, I want to um build deep relationships with people. And again, in sales, you do that to a point, and then you hand them off. Um and I want that consistency. So I hope that answers your question.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

Yeah. The solo aspect is the most has been the most difficult part so far. That's where the uncomfort is probably stemming from.

SPEAKER_03 13:35

Yeah, and the fact that I feel like I don't help anybody.

unknown 13:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:38

I think that's another big challenge.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

And obviously the fact that it's brand new, new people, new everything, like that's gotta be uncomfortable no matter how confident you are in your abilities to sell.

SPEAKER_03 13:49

You know, yeah. True. You gotta make a reputation, you gotta hold your reputation. Right. And I it's probably hard because a pattern I had a pretty good reputation, and here I don't, not yet, because I haven't proved myself. Right. Um can you tell me a little bit about your experience?

SPEAKER_00 14:07

Well, I think it's probably similar to anyone's experience that they have had to make a transition in their life. And it's kind of like what you're talking about. Like you were in a different position in sales, and then it was kind of like a promotion where you got a new closing role at a new job, and it was like the shiny new toy, and something that you always thought you wanted. Like that seemed like that was the next step to progression. Same with my career. Like you go, typically you go from a CFI and then you go fly a jet somewhere, maybe like a um regional airline or whatever, flying a CRJ or something. But I was fortunate enough to go straight from a Cessna to an Airbus, and it's like kind of embarrassing to say that because I don't want people to be like, I don't ever want to fly with her. You're pilot, though. I have enough experience. Yeah. So that's like hopefully you wouldn't be able to tell how many years I've been flying. Like, hopefully, it's seems like I'm proficient like everybody else. Um because I'm definitely uncomfortable now on the Airbus, obviously. But that transition was very difficult for me because it's also hard to explain. Like the Cessna, we flew with like the most basic instruments. It's called a six-pack.

SPEAKER_03 15:20

Like these are like there's only six instruments.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

Well, yeah, like six. Um yeah, six basically six instruments that are telling your altitude, pitch, like all the basic maneuvers of the plane, like the configuration, that kind of thing. Your climb descent, all those things. I didn't have the fancy planes where people have like the instruments that it's called like glass, but they have like basically the iPads in the plane where it's like it's like the Tesla.

SPEAKER_03 15:48

It's the Tesla of the sky.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

Yeah, they're like really sexy in there, and it's like more high-tech, and you're dealing more with like autopilot and different types of computers.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

I didn't deal with that. I was like like the farmer of aviation. And then to go from that to an Airbus where everything's a computer, you're not really flying anymore. That was one thing that was hard for me is I like aviation because I like to fly, I like to be hands-on, I like to be in control. And sorry to break it to everybody, like your pilots aren't flying. Like you take. That's actually crazy.

SPEAKER_03 16:24

You've told me some stories where it's like you just read up there.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

Okay, we probably shouldn't be telling people that.

SPEAKER_03 16:28

All right, I was kidding.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

But it's a joke. I mean, you're monitoring everything, but it's it's definitely the whole thing is autopilot. You can turn on autopilot like five seconds after takeoff if you want. Like, it has your whole flight plan in there, it has the route, the altitudes, restrictions, everything. And really, what you're doing in flight is changing your frequency as you make it across open air spaces. So you're not really, and it sounds like super easy, like, oh, anyone can do that, but understanding the computers and the instruments and all the different um buttons, there's like a million buttons and what they do, and all the alerts you're gonna get, obviously landing it, taking off all those things. Just so different. I went into it thinking, like, was I in the same industry? Like, this is not one thing as familiar besides like airspace, you know, like things that are aviation standards.

SPEAKER_03 17:21

The fact that both planes fly.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

Yeah, besides yeah, besides like Brunelli's principal, I'm like, what is going on? But that was rattling, and I think what made it even difficult was or maybe more difficult was the fact that I was isolated in Vegas for training. Yeah. And like you were saying, you don't like being solo, you don't like you like the teamwork aspect, you like working with people. And luckily, I had a great class who I became friends with all these people, and we'd studied together, we'd go play pickleball. Like it was like a fun environment. These are great people and good pilots. But I would study with them, and I'm like, I'm the dumbest one here. Like this is it was almost more discouraging studying with people because I didn't want them to see how far behind I was.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

And my sim partner is awesome, Sim Sam. We love you. Sim Sam, you're the man. Yeah. And Sam's awesome because I was like comfortable, like we flew together in the simulators and we'd studied together because we do all of our tests and everything together. And I was only confident with him because he saw me flying, and I and I had to be like vulnerable with him in order to progress. But like my friends were so smart in that class, and they came from substance as well. Like they were they came from similar background. We were all instructing, and it was very hard for me to to make that transition. Um but I think what carried me through is one, them, like like just being able to ask questions and not being afraid to sound stupid. I remember my friend, you're I think you were in town with me, but I was trying to ask her how a system worked. And you know, when you're so dumb, like you don't even know how to phrase a question because you don't understand the concept that much. I was trying to ask her a question, and I remember she looked at me and she goes, That literally doesn't even make sense. Like, I don't even know what you're talking about. And I was like, That's tough.

SPEAKER_03 19:22

That's hard.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

So I was like, I was like, I can't even verbalize what my question is because I'm that far behind. Yeah, it was heartbreaking, it was so discouraging, and the anxiety before Sims, like especially before my check ride, it's very overwhelming. But it's funny how even for my first hundred hours in the actual Airbus, I would get anxiety before, and I have great captains. Like, don't be afraid to fly with new pilots, like there's a captain right next to them, it's dual control. But I had great captains who are very helpful in teaching and helped me get more comfortable in my environment and stuff. But I mean, it took a long time, like a year, before I was going to work and not reviewing everything before and making sure I was like ready to go because of the nerves.

SPEAKER_03 20:09

And can I ask you a question?

SPEAKER_00 20:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:12

When you were in those moments where you were studying and you felt like you weren't smart and that you didn't understand what was going on, what did you tell yourself to keep going? Because I think internal conversations in moments like this are crucial.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

I don't know if I would talk to myself a whole lot. I think I knew what had to get done. And I know my self-talk isn't great, so I'm not gonna sit around and keep telling myself I'm done.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

But you shouldn't. I know. But I think I would kind of like silence those thoughts with just more studying. I knew I always had to study more, and I knew that I wanted to be at this airline because I'm home every day. This is like the perfect airline for a family, and like this is my shot. Like I have faith that it's gonna get easier. I have faith that things work out that I will start understanding it. I remember when I was learning SS and I didn't know what was going on, it's brand new. Yeah, and uh feel obviously very comfortable flying a single engine. So I think I just had to rely on the fact that it's new, I'm gonna be uncomfortable, it's gonna feel so out of my realm of understanding, but that doesn't mean it's gonna last forever. And so with temporary. Yeah. With that background knowledge of okay, I've done this before where I've been in uncomfortable situations, things get better with I study when I study. I just kind of shut that up and be like, okay, well, I have a million materials I can be looking at right now. And that was honestly part of the most most overwhelming part is. We had so much material. We weren't told really how to study, like what order we're doing things. It's like, here's all your manuals. We'll see you later.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

And I remember we get together and we're all like, what are you guys looking at? Like none of us knew, like just was no direction, even yeah. So they could figure out the training department a little bit better. So I I think the fact that there wasn't like a clear syllabus and all that stuff was like even more overwhelming. I don't even know where to start. I don't know where to look at. I don't know where to even begin. Like what makes sense? Like I can't even build a foundation and build upon that because I didn't know what the foundation was supposed to be.

SPEAKER_02 22:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

So that was I so anytime I was feeling doubt and I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed. I was like, well, the only way to get rid of that is to keep reading more about the Airbus.

SPEAKER_03 22:52

It's true. That's been said many times, the antidote to anxiety is action.

SPEAKER_00 22:59

Unfortunately, it's true.

Comfort Disguised As Responsibility

SPEAKER_03 23:01

It's really interesting, like the contrast between our two situations. Because you were uncomfortable in a different realm, like you're trying to learn something new, you're doing things that you've never done, going from Cessna to Airbus, and I am recognizing that I'm uncomfortable because I've been in a career that I didn't choose.

SPEAKER_00 23:19

Well, yeah, I remember too. Remember I was questioning my career. I remember when even well, it started even when I was an instructor because I loved flying planes. Didn't love instructing all the time. Like, like, okay, don't put me in a spin today. Like, I don't I was Don't put me in a spin, please. Like uh and like the fact that you have to just let them make mistakes is just unsettling.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

That's pretty yeah, pretty scary, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

It got it was pretty uncomfortable all the time. Um and so I started w doubting aviation. Like, wait, I do not like this, I don't think. I and I'd have night flights, my hours sucked because in summer it's like too hot to fly during the day, so I'd fly from 4 a.m. to 9 a.m. and then have the afternoon off because it's too hot. Yeah, and then pick up flying at like 7 p.m. to midnight.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

Yeah, that's brutal.

SPEAKER_00 24:07

And it was horrible hours, especially in Arizona summer. And then I go to Utah and it's freezing cold. We don't have heater in our planes. So I was like, this is miserable. I don't think I like the industry anymore. And I kept telling myself, okay, well, maybe when I get to the airlines, I'll be better. Maybe it's just instructing.

SPEAKER_02 24:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:26

So when I got my job and it was sucky in the beginning, I was like, okay, well, let me just see what the industry is like because this part sucks. It's the training, I'm I'm familiar. Let me just get to the airlines and then I'll see if I like it. And so it kind of sucked most of the way there. Like I knew I liked flying planes, but the process getting from me being a student in Assessna to me being a student in the Airbus was brutal. I I questioned it a lot, you know. I talked about it. I'm like, should I stop? But I've already put so much money and time into it, so I I wanted to see it through. Um, but I think that doubt came in more often than I thought it was going to if I was in the right industry.

SPEAKER_03 25:11

You just kept going forward.

unknown 25:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:13

I was like, well, I'll see it at the next spot. It's like I feel like I'm making checkpoints.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:19

And then I'll reevaluate once I hit the next checkpoint.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

I was like, well, I knew I didn't like instructing because I felt kind of uncomfortable with some of the students or whatever it may be. And it was the hours. I'm like, well, that's not a factor when I'm with an airline. So maybe I just get to the airlines and then I I'll like it. And then I didn't like the training department. But now that I'm actually in the industry, like airlines is like such a legit job.

SPEAKER_01 25:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

Like, for now that I have the knowledge, it's doesn't take much. It's like that's this is airlines is the reward for all the hard work. All the sucky hours leading up to it. And so now I can be like, okay. Like I kept seeing it through, and now I feel more confident in my position as an airline pilot. But the whole way I was like, are we sure about this?

SPEAKER_03 26:14

I mean, it's it's admirable that you push through. Because I think a lot of people would have quit.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 26:19

It's hard.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

It is.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

It's just you're you're living in a moment where all you feel is discomfort and you have to push through.

SPEAKER_00 26:27

Right.

SPEAKER_03 26:28

And if any of us want growth in life, that's what we have to do.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:31

And I know like with what I do next, like I'm gonna be uncomfortable. Like the next few months of my life, it's gonna be probably pretty uncomfortable. And you know, maybe I'll stay, but maybe I'll look elsewhere. Um just gotta figure out what I want.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

And that's the thing with the root of it, like the root of my career, I liked planes. I liked flying planes. I wasn't that kid that when I was three years old, like, plane, I gotta fly those, you know. Yeah, it wasn't until like college I was like, okay, I'll try it. Um but the reason I say that is because the root of why you're uncomfortable in your position right now and what you're not liking, it seems like that's like the whole job. Like you've you've made it, and it's like if I was now in the airlines and I'm working a regular job and I still don't like it, and that's the position you're in.

SPEAKER_03 27:25

Yeah, I went from entry level to senior. Yeah. And now it's like, oh man.

SPEAKER_00 27:30

You like thought it was gonna get better on the other side.

SPEAKER_03 27:32

I thought it was gonna be so much better.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

But I'm so happy you don't have to look down that route anymore.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

And that's the thing, is like I'm I'm glad I understand that. Um, but it really is because I believe the lies of comfort for so long. It's tricky. Comfort's tricky, it's a little tricky bastard.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

Because you wanna like you like it.

SPEAKER_03 27:52

I like yeah, I like the people aspect.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

Well, I'm saying the comfort itself, like comfort is cozy, comfort like it's natural to like it. And it's you think you're in a good position when you're comfortable.

SPEAKER_03 28:02

Yeah, I'm I wrote down a few like thoughts that I've had. Okay, and this is comfort wearing a disguise. So it wears the disguise of logic. For example, in my situation, okay, I've built something here, I'm staying. It also looks like timing, you know, it's not the right moment to make a decision. Uh maybe when things settle down, I'll do that. Or like practicality. I have bills and responsibilities. Comfort seems very responsible because you're thinking through it like that. And at the end of the day, it's like, yeah, you might be, but there also might be something out there that you love and would be so good at that you just need to take the risk.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

That is an interesting perspective, because do you think typically like if you're uncomfortable in a job position, just because we're talking about jobs, if you're uncomfortable, then you think it'd be easy and the stronger desire to change careers. However, the change itself is uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

So you're in an uncomfortable situation, you hate your life, you hate your job, and then you continue the discomfort by changing jobs or switching to whole careers. Like that seems like very contradicting. Like that it seems like that wouldn't be the solution.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

But I mean, obviously, seems like depending on your current situation, that that can be the solution.

SPEAKER_03 29:33

Yeah. And I told you I was talking to Bryce about this. Yeah. And he said one of the things that stood out was good thing you figured that's this out now and not ten years down the line.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:45

And I think that's a lot of like there's a lot of truth behind that. Like everyone's timeline's different. That's also something else I'm learning during this. Is you know, I think societally and personally, maybe we think that we should be at certain checkpoints in our lives. It's like a video game. Like when I'm 20 25 to 30, I need to have the checkpoint where I'm married. Like stuff like that. I don't just people kind of expect, yeah, expect themselves to be in certain places. Um, and when I was talking to Bryce about this, he's like, you know, it might feel like a step back, but at least that step back will help you go so much further down the road.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

True.

Trail Running And Pushing Past The Voice

SPEAKER_03 30:27

And it's like, yeah, I mean, comfort does feel responsible, and it's seductive. Comfort is like, even now, I'm going through all this stuff, like I've been pretty stressed out, you know this. And that stress has also made me not want to like exercise and like push myself hard. And that also scares me because it's like, man, like that's who I I'd want to be. It's like someone who pushes pushes themselves in all aspects, but this has taken so much more for me. And at the end of the day, comfort will say things like, You've worked really hard today, you've had a lot on your plate. Like, you should probably just take it easy today. You don't need to go run. And I know better than that because I know what's on the other side of that discomfort that comes from exercise. Um, to switch gears a little bit, I had an experience like this when I first started trail running. I wanted to run my first ultra marathon, and my coach Jackie was like, Okay, well, you gotta go out and run on the trails. And I'm like, okay. Checks out. Yeah, checks out. And I remember trying it, and like the first time, I think I got like six miles, and I was like, that was the hardest run I've ever had in my life. Six miles. Yeah, just because it was like elevation and different trails, like my pace was so much slower than I'm used to. And this is after I ran sub three.

SPEAKER_00 31:47

That's one of your hardest things. You're a powerful son of a gun with that watch.

SPEAKER_03 31:51

I know.

SPEAKER_00 31:52

You have a real hard time when you're that's what a blessing I have. I think I don't even care to look at the watch. I don't need to bring it. Don't care about my pace.

SPEAKER_03 32:00

No, that's a blessing.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

Doesn't matter. I don't need to know what my pace is. None of my boots are.

SPEAKER_03 32:05

I just like having data.

SPEAKER_00 32:06

I know you love data. And of course it's gonna be slower pace when you're going on terrain.

SPEAKER_03 32:11

But I remember like thinking, okay, there's no way I can do 30 miles on the trails. There's no way. Like I just remember thinking it was so hard. And every time I would go out and run on the trails, I would always for some reason cut it short. And again, it was comfort being like, hey, you're out of water. Let's just cut it short. You want to be safe. Or, you know, you've ran a lot this week. Why don't you just pull it back today? It's Saturday, you can relax. You try and get me to stop.

SPEAKER_00 32:39

Rationalize.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

And it wasn't until I had it, like I pushed past that, and I was just like, I have 12 miles on the docket, and I'm not stopping until I get 12 miles on my watch. Because I'm obsessed with it.

SPEAKER_00 32:52

Um, Brett made us turn around where driving to go back for his watch.

SPEAKER_03 32:57

We weren't we didn't even leave.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

We left the cul-de-sac. I reversed all the way back.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

We did leave the cul-de-sac, yeah. You're right on that.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

Um, nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

Yeah, but it's like the same principle applies with what we're talking about today. It's like I had to mentally push through and now I love trail running. Like it's just it's kind of like your experience with being becoming a pilot um for an airline. It's like, you know, you that three months was a grind, nothing but a grind. And now you're on the other side and you're like, okay, this is actually pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

Right.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

And same thing with trail running. Like it took me months to get to the point to where I was doing well on the trails.

SPEAKER_00 33:38

I always think I like the trails because one, I'm not huge on my pace, so it wasn't a factor.

SPEAKER_02 33:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

But I think I feel like it goes so much quicker when you're like you're just looking around.

SPEAKER_03 33:50

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 33:51

Like I can't run without music if I'm on the street. In the trees, I almost never bring anything, but I'm also kind of scared of animals.

unknown 33:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:59

So I'm my ears are like.

SPEAKER_03 34:01

You gotta get some of the shocks.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

True.

SPEAKER_03 34:03

Then you can hear all the mountain lions running at you at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

Well, I don't know if I want to know if that they're coming, actually. Should I just let them take me out? It's not like I have a chance.

SPEAKER_03 34:14

I mean, a mountain lion, you probably wouldn't even know it was coming up behind you though.

SPEAKER_00 34:17

Great, love that.

SPEAKER_03 34:18

Jump on your neck.

SPEAKER_00 34:19

Thank you for that.

SPEAKER_03 34:20

Um but a deer, you would hear a deer.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

That's true. I almost got chopped by a deer one time.

SPEAKER_03 34:25

What? Tell me that story.

SPEAKER_00 34:27

I was just running. And I turned a corner and a deer jumped the path right as I was turning. And I thought I if I would had gone a little faster, I would have just gotten over the edge with him.

SPEAKER_03 34:40

That's scary.

SPEAKER_00 34:41

Scared the crap out of me.

SPEAKER_03 34:42

I was like, I literally I saw a turkey one time and scared the hell out of me.

SPEAKER_00 34:45

Yeah, turkeys are scary.

SPEAKER_03 34:47

But anyways, anyways, no, I mean I love talking about random things. Um but I didn't know.

Quit Or Push Through

SPEAKER_00 34:55

That just goes to show that pushing through the discomfort with your trail running in my aviation, it seems like it's the same type of thing where in the end it ended up being worth it.

SPEAKER_01 35:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

How do you identify between if is it worth it to keep pushing through or is it time to call it quits? In your opinion.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

In my opinion. Your experience, I suppose. I think you have to be in tune with yourself first. You have to know if your thoughts are rational or if they're not. Um that was a big thing for me during like the first few weeks of my job. I don't think I was thinking rationally, so I didn't want to make any decisions like for my future just based on those short weeks.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

Off emotion.

SPEAKER_03 35:42

Off emotion. So I think one, you need to understand your thought process and if you are looking at it through a realistic and rational lens. And then two. I think life's too short to do things that you don't enjoy. Um, and I'm talking purely about like when to call it quits with like work right now, and then I'll switch into physical because it's a different story. Um life's too short, and I don't want to be in a life where or I don't want to be in a job where I just I don't enjoy going to work because life's short. Second, sorry, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 36:23

I was just gonna add someone may be listening to this and be like, that's great for you. Like this is m my only skill set, and I have a family to provide for. Yeah. And I understand that we are like privileged, like we have been able to get the education we need in order to do careers we want. And I've the reason I say that is because I've seen videos on TikTok and the same concept that we're talking about where you don't want to be miserable every day. Like, in order to have a fulfilling life, find the happy balance of bills bills are paid, but you don't hit your life going to work.

SPEAKER_01 37:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

And a lot of times people are commenting, like, oh, cool, can't do that. Like a lot of people don't feel like that's in their wheelhouse. And I like to think that it's more available to people than they think. I think there's a lot of different careers, a lot of different jobs, a lot of opportunities. But I do realize that I do feel very grateful that we're in a position that we are able to change things when we want to and need to.

SPEAKER_03 37:28

Yeah. And that's a very good point. Thank you for for bringing that up. Um, I would also say to that, like, if there's a career you want to do and you don't think you have the skills, then try and learn them. Uh either through experience or taking online classes. Like, there's opportunities to learn out there.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Yeah, education's on your fingertips these days.

SPEAKER_03 37:48

Yeah. And so YouTube. Yeah, like you could you can find something based on your skill set, and if you need to learn something, I I'm you know me, I'm huge on education. Um, I think you can do it. And if you're driven enough, like I think you can open up some doors. It might take longer than you expect, but I don't think anyone's pigeonholed ever. Like, yes, I know there's people out there who have a specific skill set and who have families to provide for. But that just might mean you might need to stay up a little bit later every night, study for a couple hours. Right. Or you might need to take some classes or get certified in something. Um doesn't mean it's gonna be easy, but at least you're taking steps to to make your life a little better.

SPEAKER_00 38:36

And obviously that doesn't mean you're gonna have your dream job. Yeah, like you want to be a teacher.

SPEAKER_03 38:41

I would love to be a teacher.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

And you want to be an author.

SPEAKER_03 38:43

Oh man, two great things.

SPEAKER_00 38:45

And when you're a kid, you want to be an actor.

SPEAKER_03 38:48

Yeah, I'd still like to get an acting job. If anyone's out there, like I'll start with voice acting, but then maybe I'll get into the movies.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

But what I'm saying is, like, you would love those things, but at this time in your life, like, there's gotta be that graph of like you want to make more money than a$40,000 teaching career. And if that's you want more money in that situation than a teaching position, then you're favoring a different job. But doesn't mean that you can't find other careers that have teaching aspects, like being a lead, like a team lead. You know, so there's even though you think like, oh, I only want to be a teacher, talk with Chat GPT, because there's other positions often with like things that you enjoy and the skills that you have that are in careers that you may not have ever thought of.

SPEAKER_02 39:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:33

So if you're feeling stuck, like maybe spend some time really evaluating what careers are optional.

SPEAKER_03 39:39

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 39:40

So not that I have any experience with this, but this is just my two cents of the conversation we've had over the last two months.

unknown 39:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:46

It's been that long. Wow. Almost. Yeah, you're right. Um, no, but I think that's a good point. And I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't say that I didn't think any everyone was capable of greatness. Yeah. Um, so if there's a like a mom or dad out there who's providing for their family and they don't like their career, you can do great things. It's just gonna take some work.

SPEAKER_00 40:09

Um what you're doing at home is probably a great thing. So be able to recognize that.

SPEAKER_03 40:14

And I firmly believe families and relationships are much more important than what you do for work.

SPEAKER_00 40:19

Right.

SPEAKER_03 40:20

But talk to other people too. Like there's mentors out there, there's people who you can network with and become friends with who can lead you in the right direction.

SPEAKER_00 40:29

Doors open when you talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 40:31

Yeah. Like I I've had so many great conversations throughout my life with people who I consider mentors who've given me direction. Right. Um, and who have introduced me to other people. So yeah, I hope that I guess you didn't really ask me a question, but I just yeah, I think that's an important point to make. So thank you.

SPEAKER_00 40:50

I didn't want to cut you off. You're gonna go into f fitness potentially.

SPEAKER_03 40:53

Yeah, so fitness-wise, when when to break versus when to keep going.

SPEAKER_00 40:57

Right.

SPEAKER_03 40:58

Or when to stop versus when to keep going. And my rule for fitness is very simple on when to stop is it are you gonna be physically harmed? And if you think that you are, I would stop. I don't think it's worth it. Like, for example, the high rocks, I was super sick, it wasn't worth it. Right.

SPEAKER_00 41:13

Um Yeah, you were gonna be in the med tent for the next five hours if we kept going.

SPEAKER_03 41:19

Las Vegas marathon, when I pulled out because I was having an asthma attack, you know, sucked, got 10 miles in, but it is what it is. Like, if you're feeling that you're harming yourself, then I would say that's a fair point to stop.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's one thing that you and I always talk about because because of how okay I am with having a slow pace, is Brett and I will talk about our Saturday long runs. I'm like, you have 30 miles. Like, who cares if you're walking 10 of them? You gotta get 30 miles on those feet. It doesn't matter pace.

SPEAKER_02 41:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:52

But obviously that's not ideal for all types of training. But a lot of times, if you can just keep taking those steps forward, then that's still better than if you stopped. Whether it's fast or slow, I don't think it matters a lot of the time. That's one thing that Jackie used to always say. She'd be like, with ultra marathon running, it's time on feet. If you're going for speed, obviously that's probably a different story and whatever. But ultra marathon, like a lot of times you are walking.

SPEAKER_03 42:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:17

If you're in those high mileage, like I don't imagine Coca Donna 250. I don't imagine people are running 250 miles straight all the time.

SPEAKER_03 42:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:24

So obviously, the only ultra marathon I've done was a 50k, but even in that situation, like the training, I'd have a marathon for training. And the days I felt super weak, I'd be like, it's time on V at this point.

SPEAKER_01 42:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

And I'd have to remind myself if I'm moving forward, that's progress, and that's a win for the day. Because my goal was 26 miles that day, yeah, not 23 miles fast, you know, or yeah, it makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 42:52

It's like so I know. I need to be better at that.

SPEAKER_00 42:55

But I think that that's translated from also what I learned in the aviation thing, where it's like sometimes it really sucked and I was going really slow, but I was still moving forward.

SPEAKER_02 43:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:04

And so it depends, I think, on how bad you want it. Like, what's the goal? Is it to go fast or is it to go far? Yeah. And adapt accordingly.

Four Steps To Leave Comfort

SPEAKER_03 43:14

I love that. One thing I was gonna say about comfort specifically is I think getting out of comfort zone requires humility. And that's something that's not really talked about a lot.

SPEAKER_00 43:26

Right.

SPEAKER_03 43:27

But for example, like you have to be humble enough, and for me specifically, to s to tell or to say that you know this isn't what I want to do.

SPEAKER_01 43:37

Scary.

SPEAKER_03 43:38

And it is scary. And um, you have to be humble with running, like because I'm a prideful son of a gun, like you said about my watch.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

Right. Love you though.

SPEAKER_03 43:47

Yeah, I mean it's the truth. I'm trying to work through it. Um but yeah, like I would look at my time and be like, man, I can't hit my paces. This is not even freaking worth it.

SPEAKER_00 43:56

Right.

SPEAKER_03 43:56

When I have to be humble and be like, I need to get the distance done.

unknown 44:00

All right.

SPEAKER_00 44:00

Strava's a great uh great tool and also everyone's downfall.

SPEAKER_03 44:04

Everyone's downfall, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

You can hide your strava though if you really are insecure about time.

SPEAKER_03 44:10

That's true. I'm not insecure about it.

SPEAKER_00 44:13

I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_03 44:14

I set a standard for myself and now I have to hold it every time I run. That's how I feel. I'm obviously that's not true, and I need to be humble about it. But I think getting out of comfort zone requires humility because you're gonna have to tell yourself that you are either wrong, that um you need to start over and be a beginner and have to learn, or that you made some decisions that you need to to fix. And that's not comfortable. Being humble is hard, humility is difficult, but it's worth it. Anytime I've had to be humble, it's always worth it.

SPEAKER_00 44:49

Right.

SPEAKER_03 44:49

Um, so there's that. Yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 44:53

I should say I agree. It's a hard thing to learn, it's a harder thing to practice.

SPEAKER_03 45:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:00

But the reward of it outweighs it all.

SPEAKER_03 45:05

I have four things.

SPEAKER_00 45:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 45:07

I want the listeners to know, and for us to know. Um, on how to get out of comfort zone.

SPEAKER_01 45:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 45:16

So if you feel like you're in an area where you know you're maybe a little bit too comfortable, here's what I got for you. Do an audit. I love audits.

SPEAKER_00 45:26

I thought you don't like audits.

SPEAKER_03 45:27

Uh I don't like advertising audits. Um but basically, so look at your life right now, and is there somewhere you're staying because it's comfortable, not because it's right. So ask yourself that question, start there. Second is ask the honest questions. Things like do I want this? Does this reflect who I'm trying to become? Would I choose this if starting over? Don't blow it up, make a plan. One concrete step this week, not the whole journey. That could be one email, one conversation, one application, one run. Finally, find your trail. Find something that you can be physically active with and go past that first voice who tells you to stop. And notice what's on the other side. That last one is going to give you a little sneak peek into how you how you feel after getting out of your comfort zone. And my hope is if you do that, you will have the desire to do this in all other areas of your life. Areas where you've been a little too comfortable, areas that you know you need to work on, but have been afraid to. My hope is that you you try these things and recognize that you're capable of doing more. That's that's the whole point of this podcast. And really try to find one thing this week where you've been a little bit too comfortable and where comfort has been making decisions for you, and take that part of your life back. Um, there's this quote that I love. The person waiting for you on the other side of comfort is the version of you yourself you've been putting off meeting.

SPEAKER_00 47:16

Dang.

SPEAKER_03 47:16

It's kind of cool.

SPEAKER_00 47:17

Kind of slap in the face.

SPEAKER_03 47:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:20

An important slap.

SPEAKER_03 47:22

An important slap. But that's really it. You know, and um I guess I'll give one last quote. Sorry, quotes back to back here. But this is from Seneca.

SPEAKER_00 47:34

You love Seneca.

SPEAKER_03 47:36

I do, and I love this quote. It is not that I am brave, it is that I know what to fear.

SPEAKER_00 47:43

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 47:43

And so if you feel like you're fearful, step into that fear, see what happens. And I don't think you'll die. I don't think you'll blow your life up. I think you'll be okay, and I think you'll re recognize that too and want to keep going.

SPEAKER_00 47:59

It's worked for us.

SPEAKER_03 48:00

It's worked for us thus far. That's right. Any closing thoughts?

SPEAKER_00 48:05

Just that we're about to get a whole lot more uncomfortable when baby comes.

SPEAKER_03 48:08

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 48:10

Changing from just the two of us to a whole little family. That's right. It's gonna be an uncomfort that I am very excited for.

SPEAKER_03 48:18

I'm very excited for it too.

SPEAKER_00 48:20

I know it's gonna be hard.

SPEAKER_03 48:21

Yeah, and hey, I'll have more stories to tell that are probably more relevant for the listeners because now I have a kid and I have to manage getting after it, my fitness, my relationship with you, little baby. Work. Work.

SPEAKER_00 48:33

You're juggling a lot.

SPEAKER_03 48:35

And another thing that's yet to be named.

SPEAKER_00 48:38

I'm excited for that the most.

SPEAKER_03 48:39

Me too.

SPEAKER_00 48:40

Well, not the most, baby. Then that.

SPEAKER_03 48:42

And then that.

SPEAKER_00 48:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:43

Yeah, fair enough. Um, well, I appreciate you coming on.

SPEAKER_00 48:46

Of course.

SPEAKER_03 48:47

I always love hearing your perspective and hearing your stories, and I think the listeners do as well.

SPEAKER_00 48:51

So you guys better like it.

SPEAKER_03 48:53

Yes. Yeah, you better now.

SPEAKER_00 48:55

I'm just kidding. I like chit-chatting. I'm a babbler, though.

SPEAKER_03 48:57

So it's nice. It makes it go by so fast. I think we've been going for like 50 minutes. Oh. So sorry.

SPEAKER_00 49:04

I'm a I'm a mumbler and I talk a lot, so get used to it.

Baby On The Way And Closing CTA

SPEAKER_03 49:08

Who cares? Who cares? This is my podcast. I'll bring on who I want. Um, but if this hit home for you, uh please share it with someone who might be going through something similar. I think we all as human beings go through times like this. And rate the show on Spotify and Apple Podcast that helps it get a little bit more um visibility.

SPEAKER_00 49:28

Comment.

SPEAKER_03 49:29

Comment too.

SPEAKER_00 49:30

Comment, baby.

SPEAKER_03 49:31

Comment baby, if you made it this far on the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 49:34

I want to go like it.

SPEAKER_03 49:35

Yeah, I will go like it and you'll get a little heart. So um, but yeah, thank you guys so much for listening. I always enjoy having you here. And until next episode, keep getting after it. Thanks, guys.