195 - Discipline Is Just Boredom Tolerance

Most people think discipline is about pain tolerance. I don't think that's entirely true anymore.

You don't quit the things you want because they hurt. You quit because they got boring. After my last ultra in October, I pulled the next race off my calendar and dropped into six months of pure maintenance mode. 

No countdown. No target. Shoes on the couch and the version of me who didn't want to lace them up. This episode is what I learned sitting in that room.

What you'll walk away with:

• Why pain is easy to narrate and boredom isn't
• The specific muscle modern life has been starving
• One line from Pascal that hasn't aged a day in 400 years
• A short story about my dad that reframed the whole topic for me
• Five reps you can run this week to build boredom tolerance
• A challenge I'm asking you to take and report back on

A personal note before you hit play. I'm not preaching from the mountaintop on this one. I'm in the middle of the climb, and the maintenance block has been the hardest training I've done in years. If it lands, send it to the one person you were thinking of while you read this.

Subscribe if you haven't. Five stars on Apple or Spotify if you've got a minute. Share it with someone who keeps quitting things in the flat middle. The DMs are open.

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You're not lazy. You're not lost. You just know there's a gap between the life you're living and the one you're capable of — and that gap is getting harder to ignore.

Every week, I pull apart the mental patterns that keep capable people stuck — comfort disguised as patience, avoidance disguised as strategy, mediocrity dressed up as balance. I bring in philosophy, personal stories from the trails and the trenches, and conversations with people who decided to stop waiting.

This isn't a show about hacks. It's about the harder work: getting honest with yourself, building the discipline to act on that honesty, and becoming someone you'd actually respect.

Keep getting after it.

Transcript

Discipline Beyond Suffering

SPEAKER_00 0:00

A lot of people seem to think that discipline is about being able to suffer. I think that there's a lot of truth behind that, but I don't think that's the main reason on why we stayed disciplined. I think that we can get that misconstrued a lot of the times. We think that discipline is doing really difficult things and it's pushing your limits. It's testing yourself. And while all that is true, I think there's a layer a lot of us do not talk about. Like you can suffer, especially for short periods of time. If you have a race that you're training for, or if there's a challenge that showed up in your path, if there's a big goal attached to it, pain feels it feels meaningful. You can tell a story about it. Boredom is different. Boredom is quiet, it's repetitive. Nobody claps for it. Nobody even knows about it. They don't see it, they don't see the boredom that you go through. And honestly, I think that boredom is a lot of why people fall apart with their goals nowadays. And I've talked about this before on the podcast, how it's important to embrace boredom, but there's another layer underneath it, and it's the discipline is just boredom tolerance. Happy to have you here today. It's a it's a special day. I'm feeling good. Uh I started my new job, so there we go. I'm all dressed up for you today. And as always, let's crack it open. Today we got a Diet Pepsi. I know some of you might be rolling your eyes at the Diet Pepsi uh saying, How could you betray Coke like that? Listen, I don't care. I I love all drinks as long as it's a little bubbly, a little zesty. That's all I need. So cheers to you guys. I've been shouted at so much. I need a zesty drink. Let's get into this stuff. So this episode is one that I've been sitting with with for a while now because I've been really trying to analyze myself and dealing with the sense of boredom being overwhelming from time to time. And this isn't one of those episodes where I'm pretending to have it all figured out and where I'm on the other side. I know the concept completely, and I'm here teaching you about it. I'm still in the middle and I'm still figuring it out. But I think that's part of why I want to talk about it today. It's a really important thing, and I think we all probably face it. Life can get boring a lot of the times. Um, when things stop feeling exciting, man, that's when you start fighting your own consist cons consistency. Apparently, I can't talk today, too, guys. That's what work does to you. Um, but it's not simply because like the work feels impossible now. Usually it doesn't, usually it's not. The work does get repetitive, it feels flat at times, and it's quiet. And that's the harder, that's the harder piece I think people fail to admit a lot of the times. Um, I noticed this from my last ultra marathon, you know, for months, my whole life really revolved around training. My long runs, my recovery, my lifting, my nutrition, and especially my sleep. I needed all those things and I had to plan it out accordingly. I was really specific about it, a little bit OCD about it. Um, and that can push you along for a while. You know, you're like, hey, I'm training for this race. I need to make sure I get this long run in. Okay, good, got that done. Now, what's the nutrition I need to get to fuel my body again, to repair that muscle? What do I need to do for recovery? Okay, foam rolling, great, got that done. Maybe I need to take a bath too. Good. Now I need to go to sleep at a decent time and get good sleep. Like that can control your world if you let it. And it's a powerful driver. Having things like that where you're working towards, like everything pointed towards something. Everything I was doing in my life pointed towards that race. It felt like I was being connected to that race. And then the race ended. And for a little while, you still ride that high. You know, you're pretty pumped about what you did, you're really excited about what you did, you're proud of what you did. And then you start thinking about okay, well, what's the next thing? When I finished that 50K, my brother Drew and I, we actually signed up for a 50-mile race in Sedona. And then life happened. Work got really busy, uh, family stuff came up. I had real responsibilities I had to deal with, and I couldn't focus on my training like I did for the 50K or my recovery as well as I was before, and it was just getting too much. And I hate to say this, but we sat down one day and basically admitted that training at that level takes a massive amount of time. And at that time, for both of us, we didn't have it. It was not the smartest thing for us to do. That's like if I was going to go out and go for this training plan and neglect my family. I'm not the guy that's gonna do that, and neither is my brother. And so we decided that we're gonna drop out. And honestly, I hated admitting that. I hated it. I feel like a failure, and I haven't even done the race. But part of me wanted to force it anyway. I wanted the bigger story of, oh man, I did a 50 mile or I had all these stresses in my life, and I wanted that race on the calendar so bad. I wanted the thing that was going to pull me forward, the thing that I could work towards. But we knew it wasn't right at the time. So we did what we thought was best. And then the weird part came afterwards. Because once the race disappeared, so did a lot of the excitement attached to the work. Kind of fell off, disappeared. And suddenly there was no countdown, there was no finish line, there was no big push. It was simply just a Tuesday morning, just maintenance, and just trying to stay healthy, trying to keep myself running consistently, and trying to get my miles in. Lift a few times a week, so you know, stay in shape, take care of my body, do all the things that actually motivate me to go out and exercise. And I'm telling you this now, that maintenance is way less exciting than the pursuit. Way less exciting. There were days, there still actually are days, where I will literally like think about, man, I don't need to go to the gym today. I'm, you know, I got a lot going on. You know, I don't I don't need to. My my shoes are tight at that point, my watch is on, I'm ready to go. And I would just, you know, kind of sit there. I wouldn't really do much. And it wasn't because the run was going to kill me, not in the slightest. It was going to be just another easy hour, another easy, easy run. Let's go get 10 miles in. Nothing big deal. Not a big deal. Like, especially when you run ultras and you train consistently and you really try and focus on being the best version of you through fitness and through the other things that you do. When there's no goal really attached to it, it gets harder and it becomes boring. Because, like I said, there's no metal, there's no breakthrough workout, it's just another run at that point. And I've been thinking about this experience, and I've started to realize something. I don't think people quit because things are too painful. I think it's it's quite the opposite. I believe that they quit because they stop feeling interested. And that's a whole different problem on its own. Like I've talked about boredom with your time and and staying off your phone and trying to avoid that and embracing boredom because I think that's where a lot of great work is done. And when that happens, when you understand that, you know, there's emotion attached to it, you can tell yourself that you're overcoming something, but boredom feels empty. And that's why scrolling wins so often. That's why distractions win. And human beings are great at being distracted, myself included in that. I, you know, sometimes my brain would rather feel anything than to feel flatness, to feel that boredom. Um, I don't think I noticed, and I don't think I realized how much I've trained myself out of being able to sit in quiet repetition. Like I've noticed it myself, in myself constantly lately. Like every drive I have needs a podcast, every workout needs some kind of stimulation, some kind of input. Every free moment needs another kind of input. And even standing in line somewhere, like I have the habit of sometimes pulling out my phone. And I started asking myself something recently. When do I actually think anymore? When when's the time that I have thoughts that run through my brain where it's either podcast ideas or it's changes to my training? Like, what when do I think and not consume? And I think it comes down to really three things. First, the shower, great place to think, honestly. Uh, certain runs where I actually I force myself to not have any input, and it's just me running. Or I'm about to fall asleep in bed. It's kind of it, honestly. Those are the three things in my life where I really have no input. And it's a little bit embarrassing to say, but you gotta put it out there in order to fix it. You gotta be able to understand where you're at, understand what your habits are, and where the opportunity is to tweak some things. And there's a quote from Blaise Pascal that keeps coming to me, and he said something along the lines of all humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. The crazy part about that quote is it was written hundreds of years ago. Like before phones, before social media, before Netflix, and all those things that distract us, the constant stimulation that we face today. So this isn't just a technology problem, as much as it is a human problem. We just made the escape easier. And I think it's really hurting our ability to stay consistent with anything long term. Because long term, anything gets boring eventually. Marriage does sometimes, not mine though, because my marriage is perfect and I love my wife more than anything. Running does, business does, lifting does, podcasting does, writing does. Everything meaningful loses its novelty over time. And that is normal. That is completely normal. You've heard of writer's block. Those are people who have a profession of being a writer, and they sit there sometimes and can't think of something else to add to the page, and they sometimes freak out. I've had that before, and I just have to sit there and let the thoughts come to me. And that is not fun sometimes, because I can be sitting there for 10, 15, 20 minutes just trying to think, okay, well, what's the next thing I want to write? What do I actually think about this part of the topic I'm writing about? Like, what do I actually believe? And how can I put that down on a piece of paper and get it out as clear as I can? And the people who last are usually the people who stay the most motivated. They're the people who stop expecting life to feel exciting all the time. That realization has hit me pretty hard this year, especially with running. Because without a race on the calendar, man, all I have is the system itself. And a lot some sometimes systems are boring. If you know who James Clear is, he wrote Atomic Habits, and one of the most famous lines from that book is you don't rise to the level of your goal, you fall to the level of your systems. And I think that's true. But I also think people underestimate how emotionally unexciting systems are sometimes. Nobody posts the random maintenance run on a Tuesday. Nobody celebrates the normal workout on a Thursday. Nobody talks about the hundred ordinary reps that you do. But those reps are the whole thing. Those reps are what build people. And it's not the breakthrough moments, like we all think. Uh, I at least that I think. You know, I think, you know, if we're talking about the podcast, like I'm working towards whatever breakthrough moment I envision in my head. And when I don't get there on an on an episode, it's like, man, okay, I gotta do the next one. I gotta do the next one, I gotta do the next one. And that repetition can be boring a lot of the times. But I love what I do. I love this this podcast, I love this format of just conversation, and that keeps me going. Now, when you peel back all the layers, it's the boring consistency all underneath it that gets you there. I've been thinking about my dad a lot recently, uh, because I I think he, from an outside view, people would say he's spent years doing a lot of boring work. You know, it's long hours in the office. Uh, he has responsibilities, he has people who depend on him, people who actually need him. And as a kid, he worked from home, and I never once saw him complain about that. He may have to my mom, and I may have been, you know, missing that, but I never saw it. Because when he was done with work, he would come down smiling, ready to be with us, and wouldn't even think twice. Like, I wouldn't think that he was an unhappy person or that he was bored a lot of the times, but it's something I really admire. And now that I'm older, I think it impresses me more than it did when I was young. Because I understand how easy it is to let boredom make you bitter, to make you angry, and to think that, man, my life is just so crappy right now. Like, I can't stand another day of the same routine, the same thing. And sometimes, you know, that's a good signal that you should change whatever you're doing. But that's just what I've noticed in life is that things get boring a lot of the times. Sure, you have passions. Like I have this podcast. Like I said, it keeps me going, just having this idea that I want to talk to people about things that I'm learning or going through. And, you know, there's fitness that I'm I'm passionate about fitness. It gets boring sometimes, just as the podcast does, but I know the benefits that come from it. And really anything over time can get very monotonous. And I think a lot of people secretly believe meaningful lives should constantly feel intense or exciting. But the most meaningful lives are repetitive. You know, you take care of people, you show up, you handle your responsibilities, you repeat simple things over and over again. That's adulthood for a lot of people. And there's something really respectable that I think about someone who can do ordinary things consistently without needing applause for it. That's a big thing. I really admire people who can do that. And I really think that's a form of strength we don't talk about enough. It's steady strength, it's reliable strength, the kind of person that people can count on. And honestly, I want more of that in my life. Not just intensity, not just ambition, but more consistency. And that's coming from someone who believes that they're a consistent person in the gym, at work, in my relationships, but there's always room to improve. You can always change your attitude about these things. And instead of saying, Man, I have to do this, I have to go through this day of work again, you say, Hey, I am providing for the people who I care about, or I'm doing something that's making me a better person. And if it's not, then that's the signal for you to actually make something change. But I think intensity comes and goes, but consistency is what actually builds something great. And so I've been trying to practice boredom in more intentional ways. Like not in some weird monk mode way, but just in small, simple things. Like driving without a podcast sometimes. I've re I've realized that's not gonna kill me. That being with my own thoughts, that's a good thing. In fact, I should be doing it more. Maybe all my drives I shouldn't be listening to podcasts, and it's gonna be uncomfortable in the beginning, but things like running without music. It's another great thing. Or leaving your phone in another room without distractions, being with the people that you care about, being present. It's all very important. And I'm really working on sitting with my thoughts longer long enough to not distract myself. And like I said, at first it does feel uncomfortable. You feel restless almost immediately. But I think restlessness tells you something important. I think a lot of uh a lot of us have the ability to simply sit still. That's something we're pretty good at, right? And if you can be still, if you can't be still, it becomes really hard to stay consistent once a motivation fades. That's probably the biggest thing I want people to take away from this episode is you do not need to become more extreme. You probably need to become more patient. Patient with repetition, patient with slow progress, patient with the ordinary days. The things that don't look sexy, the things that you're not gonna post on social media. Because most growth happens in those ordinary days. It's not dramatic ones. I'll tell you what, I when I ran that 50k back in October, that 50k didn't make me. It was the months leading up to it where I trained when it was hard, and where I forced myself to recover and to stretch and to foam roll and do things that are boring to eat good food. Um that's all super important. When I feel myself wanting to quit something because it feels dull, I force myself to sit with it for ten minutes. Just ten, and that's that's really it. A lot of the times the resistance begins to fade once I stop fighting the boredom. And when even when it doesn't disappear, at least I'm building trust with myself. That matters. Because every time you quit, the second something stops feeling stimulating, you reinforce the habit of escape. And eventually that leaks into everything from your work, your training, relationships, your goals. If you're not able to sit with something long enough to get it done, that's gonna be a negative effect on you. You become somebody who constantly needs novelty to keep on moving. It's a dangerous way to live, especially now. Because the modern world is basically built to destroy your attention span. How many times have you heard that? Like, people's attention span sucks nowadays. Yeah, that's true. It's because every time something happens, man, we let ourselves just get distracted immediately. We pull up our phones, we open up TikTok, and we scroll. That's the thing about TikTok is as soon as you click the app, it starts, it goes. And we're training ourselves to not even have a loading screen, just to instantly be opened up to all these things that take our minds off of whatever we're dealing with. Like every app wants your attention, every algorithm wants your stimulation. Everything is competing with whatever's in front of you to keep you entertained. And so you're basically having a battle with all these different things grabbing your attention, asking for your attention, demanding your attention, and you have to learn how to say no. Those skills are rare to be able to sit with one thing with a long time for a long time. But rare skills are very valuable. I really believe that. Could be the gym, your business, your relationship of some sort of creative work, or potentially your faith. I don't know what it is, but I'd pay attention to it. Because there's a decent chance the life that you want is sitting on the other side of a bunch of very ordinary days stacked together. That's usually how it works. It's worked for me many times. And I wish the answer was something different. I wish it was like, oh no, you just have to keep going after huge things that fill you up with adrenaline and energy. But that doesn't make you the strong person that you're meant to be. Anyway, I I really do appreciate you guys for listening. And honestly, I needed this reminder for myself. The older I get, the more I realize that life is less about the massive moments and more about handling regular days well. That's the real work, not the highlight reel. It's the Tuesday, it's the regular Tuesday. If you've uh heard of Tim Ferris, he had a title for his podcast that was called Crushing a Tuesday, I think is what it was called. Just basically about doing all the things that lead up to the big event. The big event is nice. It's good to have that, to work towards a goal like that. But you won't get there unless you understand that you have to embrace boredom and just go with it. That's how it works. That's how we all get better in life. Embrace the ordinary days, embrace the consistency, the repetition, the monotony of tasks, the monotony of days. And yes, some days it's gonna be heavy. That boredom's gonna feel like it's a thousand pounds hung around your neck and you're thrown into the ocean, you're like, I'm dying. I need to do something different. And again, if that's the signal for you to actually do something different with your life, you should listen to it. But a lot of the times, if it's just you being bored, then keep going. When it gets boring at the gym, don't stop. When it gets boring with a creative project and you're not seeing any progress, don't stop. This podcast would have stopped at episode 15 if I was only doing it for the recognition and for the the popularity or whatever you call it. It would have stopped back then. But it's the boring work that keeps me going. Like I'm I'm I'm learning, I'm studying, and you have to focus on those things. You can't outsource that. So this week, just pay attention to the things that you're you're feeling that in and try and reframe it in your brain. I think you'll make progress, I think you'll see success over time. It just takes a little bit of work. But seriously, thank you guys so much for listening. And if this helped you at all, leave a comment. I'd love to hear it. And um leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. That helps the show grow, helps it get in front of more people, and it really means a lot to me. I I appreciate it. And until next episode, everybody, go through that Tuesday, stay in the game, and keep getting after it.