Talk Dirty To Me
Three different friends with four different perspectives on kink, fetish, and sex, talking dirty to each other. Enjoy personal journeys, stories, confessions, and guest experts on all things "dirty".
Talk Dirty To Me
S2E2 (Ms Eldritch/Deanna): OnlyFans, Magic The Gathering, and Bookstore Fingering
- SMC makes her exit to work on other LRF projects, but will be returning for Dirty Book Corner occasionally.
- Guest is Deanna Ogle - also known online as Ms Eldritch
- Known for her Magic the Gathering content and DnD content online.
- https://linktr.ee/MsEldritch
- Sexy Profile:
- Grew up religious
- Bisexual
- Switch
- Leans more as a top these days
- Exhibitionism
- Voyeurism
- Praise kink
- Degradation
- Grew up religious/sheltered
- Married at 20
- He was vanilla, she was not
- Heard from friends who were attending sexy dungeons and wanted to try it real bad.
- Ended up getting divorced.
- Dove into full polyamory and kink at that point.
- Tosin regales a story of the person he was dating during the height of his jesus years and the compromises they made to get sexy.
- While making out fully clothed, laying down in bed, there had to be gospel music playing and they would pray into each other’s ears.
- Processing feelings through impact play
- WE ARE NOT SUGGESTING/PROMOTING COPING MECHANISMS - just sharing experiences.
- Therapy’s great! We recommend that!
- Deanna gives Tosin ON OFFICIAL RECORD that he can show the video she made for him to people if he wants. 😀
- Tosin revisits early days with LiveJournal doing cum-tributes for people.
- Tosin loses concentration because #SexyKaceyVoice
- Deanna reminds us she’s real queer
- The keys to successful dirty talk are commitment and enthusiasm.
- Tosin gives a tutorial on dirty talkin’
Our vampire kink discord is poppin'! It's super sexy up in there. GET INTO IT!
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Well, well, well, go ahead and open up your ears, your mind and whatever else you need. You're listening to Talk Dirty To Me.
Speaker 2:Hello all you sexy beasts and welcome back to Talk Dirty To Me, the podcast where three friends with three different perspectives on kink, fetish and sex talk dirty to one another. And today we have two of our fabulous hosts with you. We have Tosen Aouf Esso.
Speaker 2:Orochol and we have me, kasey, your neighborhood femdom extraordinaire, femdom-ish extraordinaire, and we have a special guest for you today. But first I'm going to do a little business. I just want to let everybody know that our darling Sarah Murray is stepping away from Talk Dirty To Me. For the time being she will be dropping in to do Sarah Murray's dirty book corner and things like that and being an extra host when we need one, but she's going to focus on other little run-and-gade projects with her time. So we all love her and we'll miss her, and now we are three, we'll two today. Anyways, tosen, I'm going to leave the intro to you. This is your beautiful, lovely guest.
Speaker 1:Yes, sarah Murray, you will be the best. We love you. You're great and press on. You're awesome, but today we have Deanna. You will also be able to find her online as Ms Eldridge, with various things. Probably one of the more nerdy and intriguing things to me is that you're pretty decently well-known online for magic, the gathering content creation and D&D content creation. So, before we get into the dirty things, do you want to talk about that, how you got into that, how people got to know you that way, and also say hi.
Speaker 3:Yes, also hi.
Speaker 1:Hello everyone.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was sort of like a product of the pandemic. I have dated people over the years that have been very into magic, and so I feel like it was only a matter of time until I kind of got sucked into it. And then, the summer of 2018, I believe, I had a friend that was just like come over and teaching you and taught me a particular format called Commander. And then I found Arena, which is like a desktop client, and then the pandemic hit and I was able to maintain a social life through Twitter and found a bunch of other magic people and found a way to also play with our physical cards both people across the world and then it just kind of took off and found my little corner of the internet.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, we love fun fancy corners of the internet, so I like to you know start out getting to know people about. You know we're a kink sex podcast and we do kinky sexy things. So how would you identify yourself on the kink BDSM spectrum and how did you get into it? Things like that.
Speaker 3:Let's see. Well or well, some bisexual, very queer, also switch. These days I am more top leaning, so I'm a little, I guess, left of the of the slash, more than I used to be, and how I got into, I mean, we can get into like the whole, like list of you know all of the particulars that we want to. Yeah, please.
Speaker 3:All the particulars, all the particulars, okay, but I would say my top ones that just add to. Like the, the bisexual in the switch is like I also have, you know, exhibitionism and voyeurism and a praise kink and also love degradation as well. So it's like this whole mix of all of the things and what you did. Tell me that I'm a good girl, but also like the best filthiest girl, or like the you know the best, I love it.
Speaker 2:Whatever?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's a little weird on paper but I'm like I promise you know it makes sense to me and my in my body somehow. But yeah, I think the way I got into it was I so actually Tosen you and I should chat sometime because it sounds like we might have sort of similar backgrounds, as I grew up very religious and so I was sheltered for a long time and then kind of came out of it into like the adult dating world. But I got married at a very young age and so I got married at 20. Don't do that, don't recommend it to anybody. And then, but like as I was sort of married and kind of coming into the real world and getting to know things, I was like man like my husband will not even like pull my hair, won't even like hold my wrists down a little bit, like come on, give me something. So he was just very like the most. You know, that's great If you're vanilla, totally fine. If that's what you're into, I think that's lovely. But I'm not. So I had I had a friend.
Speaker 4:Did you know you?
Speaker 3:were kinky. At that point I think I had some suspicions. I had a couple of friends that would tell me about their like when they would go to dungeons and like some of the things that they were into, and I was always just like I want to try that, can I try that? Let me try that, can I just can I do it? And I had this like little suspicion that I would be like very into it if I was given the space to try it and then ended up going through a divorce. And then, yeah, like basically once I once I hit being unattached, I went full polyamorous and full kink and just dove into all the things that I felt like I've been missing for the past you know however many years and found a lovely group of people and then moved to Texas and then found a bunch of other kinky people and so, yeah, it was kind of just say I had a suspicion that I would like the things I was hearing about.
Speaker 1:And then I got to try them and I was correct. So and I'm still discovering new things, so yeah, yeah, I think the adventure, I think the getting out of church and falling into kink pipeline is a very popular one.
Speaker 1:I mean, our other host has similar stories and you know me myself you know, I went to church also being the queer and bisexual and into all kinds of bodies and just being like Jesus is going to be mad at me because I like that dick. I don't know what to do about it and you know you spend all of that time. One of the jokes I like to make is like the only thing that I really miss about being super Christian is, like man, you cannot be Christian. Sexual tension it's just like oh man, jesus says we shouldn't, but I really want it.
Speaker 3:It's hard to replicate oh man, you cannot be Jesus.
Speaker 2:sexual tension yeah, that's it. It's like go to the night.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, definitely. There was some like just great, a, just peak, dry, humping for sure during like the well, we shouldn't because we're still Virgin's but we want each other really bad. And then just gets really hot because, like you're trying to figure out all the things you can't. Where you can do the things, like well, it's cool. Maybe we can make out if we're like not laying down and we have all our clothes on, or like what if we? What if we're like laying down with still all the clothes on? Or like, well, what if we? What if we take like just the outer things off but like all of the you know underwear and stuff is still on, so technically, you know, and then it just progresses from there. But yeah, it's hard to replicate like it's. It's very hot in its own way when you don't have the full menu.
Speaker 2:I like that. The more near you get like, the more Lineart.
Speaker 1:Matt, you want to hear the Wildest but also sexiest compromise that I've ever made for Jesus. I was dating yes, I was dating someone who, like I like wanted really bad all through high school and it basically got to the point where, like they were finding God Right when I was at the peak of my Jesus Ness and so, like they, at that point they had considered me be the person that like had brought from the Christ. Anyway, we liked each other for a really long time, hey, but they lived in a different city and after we started dating, we were like kind of visiting each other back and forth on one of the Whatever is this to come see me. We were laying down in bed together and like we had a whole like Christian thing we're like God can't do us in a dream and said it's gonna be okay for us to make out because we were diligent About being like. No, like, the first time I saw her after we were not going to.
Speaker 1:We had met. We're like we're not gonna touch each other, like we've known each other for five years and it was like, oh you know, to stop temptation anyway, at this point time we're allowing each other to make out, but like we had like progressed to like making out, laying down in a bed, clothes dry humping, super hot. Our compromise to keep us from slipping into temptation was to be listening to gospel music and Praying in each other's ear. Which, which? This is what that? Which is just the, just the, just the most Roundabout version of dirty talking ever, because what that sounds like is, while dry humping each other, we're gonna be like dealer. Honey, father, please do not let us slip into temptation, do not let our bodies, as much as they want each other to pass the, keep your eyes on us as Like we're making out dry humping, while we're doing the saying of this into each other's ears.
Speaker 3:And I like and also like your voice. Yeah in the ear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's, she's, she's a very talented singer. She was so it was like and we're listening to gospel music and we're like also Singing along to the songs, like harmonizing each other while also praying to keep each other from fucking each other by basically Pray dirty, talking to each other, and I was like this is what I mean by like I couldn't get in that situation. Now I could like fake it, I could do it again, but there's like the thing I was like I legitimately was like both of us so badly want to fuck each other and the only way to stop ourselves is to pray At each other while gospel music is playing and we're dry humping each other, which we have deep emotional feelings about, shit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you just can't replicate it when you're just like I can do all the things that I want to with a variety of humans. Now, it's not gonna have the same, but yeah, like both of us here, I just like feeling some feelings about that story. So, yeah, I just can't replicate it. I think that might also be sort of where I got some of the kink stuff from. Is some of the like Authority things wrapped up in religion, but now I get to do it in a way that's fun for me and rewards my agency, instead of just like don't do the thing. We've got a giant scoreboard and we're checking everything you do because of the Lord had reasons.
Speaker 1:So yep, I mean no gets to be like the, the original, the original DS. Dynamic is the Lord and your soul.
Speaker 3:Yep, mm-hmm, being being subservient to God. Our father, mm-hmm? Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:But yeah, no, I think Christianity pipe like gets in there and the a lot of. I just recently wrote a poem. I'm waiting for Stephanie to get back about it. That's like talks about that specifically. So stick around. We'll keep that Show up for all the people sounds awesome so fun, like sort of related story.
Speaker 3:Yes, okay, it's like still in little ways kind of turns me on. And one of my favorite like irreverent things that I've done is I was in a Bookstore. There's a very, very old bookstore. It's like three stories just packed with like old editions and kind of unique and rare interesting books in downtown Detroit. Right, I didn't live in Detroit but I lived kind of nearby and I was with someone who I probably shouldn't have been with and got fingered in. It Was like one of the upstairs back sections that was full of like old coral music and I was just like, yes, I feel like this is like forbidden and irreverent, like really hot at the same time and like that's a good time.
Speaker 2:Yes, the blazes people finger or get fingered for the first time is always very interesting. I feel like, because you're young so you can't really like do it at home, you don't really know how to be appropriate is sprung upon you, you don't have willpower, like, so you're just like well, here we are in the corner. This is happening right now.
Speaker 3:Nope, yeah.
Speaker 1:Hello, daryn. Now man, I I used to. I did used to masturbate in wild places, but I don't know that I figured anybody anywhere weird. Well, actually speaking of exhibition and doing things in public and being watched and liking it, and my apologies, I got excited. I like the end a lot. I don't think I actually ever said Hi, this is Deanna, we're friends, we are part of a similar Austin kinky community together and you know I'm not exactly sure how we first started talking, but I do know our probably first interaction with one another is. You're also a content creator. You make like online sexy content that people can have and see and I ordered a custom from you a custom like video, so like you request some.
Speaker 1:Sexy activity and you know, deanna graciously made in this is holding on. There's a time stamp on it. I can just check. I've had it for early pandemic. It was like three years.
Speaker 2:So, Danny, you have an only fans? Yes, I'm an only fans. Do you consider yourself a sex worker?
Speaker 3:I think so.
Speaker 2:A spicy worker? Yeah, spicy worker, yeah. And is it like a hobby or just not? Full For funsies? There's a full time.
Speaker 3:No for funsies. I also have a day job For funsies, yeah, so I'd still say sex worker, but not you know. I feel like there's a line between like what I do online versus like full service sort of thing.
Speaker 2:But yes, I still think it's a realm of like you don't, you don't see people, but you sell videos of yourself.
Speaker 3:Right, exactly, yeah.
Speaker 2:Gotcha yeah.
Speaker 3:Cool.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I partake of this particular service a few years ago and so if people on the podcast know that, like my big jams are, I love hearing people climax. I love hearing people climax while they say my name and I like attention to me pledging myself to another person. So this custom is basically Deanna sitting in a chair saying your woman, your name, and in the three years that I've had this video, I've came to that thing hundreds of times, hundreds.
Speaker 2:It is literally.
Speaker 1:I have a specific folder that's like the hurry up folder, so it's like I only have a certain amount of time in the master band. It's your one of the three or four videos that are in there and I was just like that'll be the easy, quick finish. So again you were saying earlier was like I'm an exhibitionist. I have a praise team. I like being told a good girl. I was like I'm gonna get you later.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna get you later. Oh, yeah, yeah don't worry. Yes, oh, no, that makes me so happy.
Speaker 2:I, how long have you been doing?
Speaker 3:only fans, let's see it, this sort of done it in two sections. So I did it from like 20, 20 to 20, 21, I think. So I did for about a year and then had a decent amount. I made some like a little bit of money and then closed it because of work stuff. Basically I sort of do the thing where, like, I started a new hobby and it's really exciting for a while and then I'm like, oh, it takes some maintenance.
Speaker 4:I got to like yeah, keep doing this thing.
Speaker 3:And so it was like a combination of like work. Stuff was kind of taking over and also kind of running out of steam, and so I shuttered it for a while and then restarted it back in last December. So I've been going for 10 months. Nice, it kind of feeds my like. I already kind of like doing this anyway. I already kind of like, you know, sharing nudes and sending hot videos and turning people on, and so it's like now I get to do that and also get paid for it, so like a fun.
Speaker 2:Nice.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:How many followers do you have on OnlyFans?
Speaker 3:I've had a peak of like just over 400. I think I'm at, like Nice, a little under 300 right now, kind of like ebbs and flows, depending on like how much. Yeah yeah, content I'm making, how much I'm promoting it, that kind of thing.
Speaker 2:That's awesome though. Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 3:I also feel like my video is getting a little fuzzy, but yeah, I really like it. It's been really fun and validating and it kind of feeds to like the praise kink and the you know like. Yeah, just tell me what you think about me. And then I love the idea that there's like videos and photos of me floating around and people are coming to it. I really like really does it for me.
Speaker 1:So Well, I can anecdotally say that that happens frequently for sure.
Speaker 3:Well good, that makes me really happy. I'm just going to put that in like my little going to put that in my cap of like most flattering things people have ever said to me, Cap.
Speaker 1:Yeah, keep it it is. It is a prize possession. I appreciate it greatly. I should bother you for another one of these days.
Speaker 3:You should, so just let me know.
Speaker 1:A question that I've wanted to know from you for a while, because I feel like we're both I was looking for explorers or cartographers of the kink world Like I think we're fascinated by the various types of experiences that we can have. Usually, when I hear someone that says something like I'm sexual, I'm also a switch. I also like being watched and I like watching other people. Usually that that usually hits the spot of being like I want to see and do all the sexy things. So what is one, what is something that you've been like, always wanted to try or always wanted to get into that you haven't been able to do yet, and why haven't you been able to do it?
Speaker 3:Something I want to try but haven't been able to get into. Oh, I feel like there's so many I would love to. I think I would love to do like be the receiver of Shabari, like suspension, like tie up and kind of hung up sort of, and that one is just because I haven't. I know there's like workshops and I know there's like a really pretty decent community of people around here that do that kind of thing. So I just really haven't gone to seek out to be like, okay, this is something I would like to experience, and then go and seek the people that would do that. I'm trying to think what else I've had. Well, I don't know if that's a kinky thing, I want to try cupping. I think would be great. I've seen it done like a little fire cups.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so they're like these little. They're either plastic or glass. So if you've ever seen, there was a thing a couple of years ago when Michael Phelps was in the Olympics and he had these like suction marks all over him and people are like what happened to his back, like what's going on. So they're like plastic or glass and they kind of put them on your mostly on your back, and then heat up the cups and it creates this like suction and then it some of it is used for like pain relief. Some of it is just for because it feels good. Some of it's, you know, definitely like kinksters, I know. Have you know sort of done it as well? So that's something that I've seen done to other people but I have not experienced myself. Yeah, those are, those are kind of like the ones I can think of off the top of my head. That is it sort of pinned, is like, yes, I would like to do the thing and I have not done the thing.
Speaker 1:So it's nice. Yeah, you also said that you're leaning towards the top side of the slash. I'd love to hear how did? How did you get into? Because it also sounds like you didn't start there, like that's been. That's a newer development in your journey, so how'd you get into that which? What have you done? What fancy things.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I definitely didn't start there. I for sure started on the yeah, definitely on the much more like sub side. And you know I really like you know I love insects like a bit of pain, I love being held down, I love being restrained, I love like breath, play hands on the, you know, in the neck, pulling the hair, that, all that sort of stuff. So it was sort of that was my intro into like, well, okay, I'm going to be the receiver of that.
Speaker 3:Therefore, I'm more on the bottom side, but especially during the pandemic, I started seeing someone that was more subby than I was and it was sort of a long distance thing. It was in the middle of the pandemic so we couldn't like really go and see each other. So we did a lot of like hot sexting, like erotic storytelling with each other. That was really, really fun and so that's sort of how I kind of ended up leaning into that in the beginning. And I'm also the kind of person that I think to your point earlier, when you kind of have all the stuff and you want to try all the things, I really like finding stuff that people are into being like, oh, you like that.
Speaker 3:It's one of those like maybe I'm not into it or haven't thought that I'd be into it, but they're into it and then it gets really hot and then I'm just like cool, we're doing that thing, it's delicious, and that that's part of it. Is like finding people especially as my dating has gotten queer over time finding people that kind of either are switchy or a little bit more sub-bottom leaning than I am, and then I kind of just naturally like float into that and I think just kind of accepting my own power and my own ways I can influence people and finding my own sense of satisfaction when that happens. So it's definitely more. I'm not necessarily like an impact top, it's much more of a like mental top, more emotional and, yes, mental.
Speaker 3:It's a great way of saying it. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:No, no, I feel as I feel as I'm weighing, you know like I consider myself like a service switch. So, like most of the activity things that I like to do, I'm generally like indifferent about internally. Like the way that the decision is made is like what is this person going to like? And I'm going to do that because the center of most of my kinks is like I derive a lot of pleasure from getting other people pleasure. You know, kind of like it's addictive and oral addiction in general. Most people seem like that, but you know it's like I don't take. Well, that's not true. I'm starting to get like a little bit more enjoyment about like exerting physical effort and physical dominance on people, but I don't get a lot of practice.
Speaker 1:I have a what I like to call the beast, just because usually what happens to me when I'm in top situations is like I'm a big guy. The part of my system that is like throw you around and dominate you is very vigorous. So I'm like I'm aware that I'm like, okay, I haven't found a person that like once ago there and I don't have like enough trust in that. So like I call, I call those conversations conversations with the beast. I'm like, okay, we got to do this at 14%, all right. And I was like we'll find somebody that's we'll let the beast fully out of the cage for one of these days, but we'll get there.
Speaker 1:So that part of it I'm like I'm starting to get like physically into. But I'm definitely more like what do you want, how do you want to do it, and then doing it very, very, very well. And I'm also more into like mental domination than I am physical domination, like I enjoy pushing somebody on the bed, but for personal enjoyment I am much more like what's been in your sit down and then waiting and then deciding they don't have any other choice. That is more fun for me domination wise than like shoving somebody.
Speaker 1:Plus, I was blessed with this voice. So it's like, why not, yeah, yeah?
Speaker 3:Yes, you, I had somebody in the last year to tell me they were just like oh, you have sort of a sadistic streak, and I was like I don't, I don't know that. I, I don't know that I do. I think I just like the person I was talking to at the time, it was responding to the voice, it was responding to those types of things. So they were responding to like scratching and biting and like gripping, and you know if that's the thing. And then you start making really great noises. I'm going to keep doing the thing, and so those like I don't know if that's so much me as it is, like I'm going to sort of find the thing that turns you on and I just want to like hone in on it and do it really well.
Speaker 1:And then you know, but that comes in like a variety of forms, depending on who I'm like yeah, I was like you gave me all the green lights, I'm going to, I'm going to drive faster on them. You keep, you keep moaning like that.
Speaker 3:We're going to do, we're going to push that pedal. Yeah, exactly, yeah, exactly, yep.
Speaker 2:Can you was there? Can you tell me about your first kinky experience?
Speaker 3:My first kinky experience yes, it was with someone who actually was a former, former coworker was so someone I worked with and I heard a lot about like this is one of the people I became friends with and like we were sort of in different sections of the company or whatever it became friends with and, you know, it became close and started talking about like some of those experiences that they had. But we were actually both married at the time. We both, under separate circumstances, slightly different timelines divorced and then I ended up. So then we were both single. One of us had left the company and suddenly we're not coworkers anymore and they were the first person to do like a full impact scene with me. So it was, you know, introducing me to vloggers and crops and had me fully restrained onto the bed and experienced my first subspace. That was a whole new thing.
Speaker 2:So you went from not having any sort of kinky experience to having like full on impact play extravaganza yes.
Speaker 3:Yep, which it which sounds like a big like you know, yeah, but it was a discuss the things, and I had been fully curious for quite a while and also was very, very, very into this person and so just kind of like went into it and they were really good about like talking me through the whole thing, also had like co-words were important. So you know, you've got the red, yellow, green, all that kind of stuff and checked in with me through the whole thing to make sure I was enjoying it. And it actually ended up being kind of cathartic because I find that the more emotionally distressed I am, the more I end up liking impact because it allows, like it just helps me process some of those feelings and also the big, you know, endorphin highs and sort of some pain relief, and so it was a really, really gratifying experience.
Speaker 3:But yeah, so I went from like nothing at all to like very vanilla sex and to just bang in the hot co-worker and get in the full impact scene, so yeah, and then just went from there.
Speaker 3:I also then got into FetLife, started meeting people through there, which I don't do as much anymore because I had a couple. You know, I feel like meeting people to go on dates with through FetLife and be kind of a mixed bag. For sure. I had a couple of like not great experiences and then ended up meeting many more lovely kinky people and then that was actually so. I got divorced in 2016, ended up moving to Texas early 2017 and then found a bunch of people here, Tosen included so then was able to just plug into some lovely, lovely folks here and then started going to parties, meeting people, dating kinkier people. So yeah, all sorts of good things.
Speaker 1:You talk because this is something that fascinated me about like impact in general. So you talked about that like the more distress that you are in general, the more helpful impact play is for you personally. Can you talk more about in detail, about like what it is about processing your own feelings, like through the pain of impact that is helpful for you?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so you know and I know that linking like emotional distress and like physical pain may not be like the most helpful thing, but I will stress that it's like it works really well for me personally.
Speaker 1:We're not recommending solutions for people's coping mechanisms. Please speak to therapists and medical professionals like that. Right, yes, this is anecdotal. This is just because I like hearing how people think of experience things.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so for me, especially when I was going through a divorce, I was there was a lot of fallout in my life for a variety of reasons and also like losing this relationship I've been in for 10 years and you know it's a really, really messy and unhappy like situation. It was the best decision I've ever made in my life, but it was painful on the way out, and so for me, I guess the pain sort of helped create an external version of what I was feeling on the inside, and then it just helped provide, I guess, sort of like you know, some relief, like when you're when you're feeling really pent up and you go for a workout, or when you go for a run when you're really upset, or you know, I, when I'm feeling really frustrated, sometimes going for a walk just moving my own body, or experiencing that those types of things can sort of help work out some of the feelings. And then it was just kind of a more extreme version, because I'm, instead of going really hard on the elliptical, I'm getting a flogger on my back. And then the first time that I saw that first experience I was just telling you about, I did end up going into sub space.
Speaker 3:So for me it felt like, instead of sort of wincing and bracing and having physical reactions to the hits as they were coming, my body just sort of just I almost got very sleepy, very sleepy, very body high. I just have my like my eyes closed, like my, my eyelids were very heavy, and that's sort of when it was kind of like, okay, it's time to time to time to tap out because the person sort of in this like bloaty space, and then I woke up the next morning and I felt so clear and so calm and so just awake and alert and I was like Whoa, like if that's what this process has on me, and so I was able to carry on that relationship through, basically until I moved to Texas, you know, and I know there's the whole kind of like enough pain induces the endorphin high, which then can be like pain relief and also feel really good and kind of euphoric, and it was just a very cleansing experience.
Speaker 3:So yeah, no that really kind of wild.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes complete sense. You know, I think about a lot of my intense attraction and desire for like oral sex. Things is a lot has a lot to do with that. It's regulating to my system and so like I totally get like if you have you know, I think of like a mode, like.
Speaker 1:I think of emotions as like blocks that you have to grab and like move into the right place.
Speaker 1:It's very difficult to do that when they're intangible, so any activity that kind of like connects them to something that you can like physically understand is easy and like in getting myself out of like the Christian church mindset of like rules, of being like pain is always bad and pain is a bad thing and, you know, never hurt somebody, which is accurate, don't actually hurt people unless they want to be like. One of the ways that got me to being more comfortable with delivering pain to other people was like delivering pain to other people was realizing that like this is giving them a tangible way of grabbing an emotional block and like being able to like understand it and feel like exactly what you said making an external version of of an internal feeling. Again, not suggesting coping mechanisms. Please don't use that as your base coping mechanism for whatever emotions you're dealing with. Go to go see therapists, therapies incredible, everybody do it, but no, that makes complete sense. And like whatever you find that helps regulate your system that's not harmful to yourself and other people.
Speaker 3:Please explore safely, often vigorously, if you need to yeah, safely and consensually with yourself and other people. I think regulating is a nice word for it. There's just a way to. But, yeah, I love the idea of like being able to grab a hold of it and like do something with it. Whether that's yeah is that I feel like there's also a lot of you know, very, very big links between emotions and like you feel it in your actual body, and so sometimes you have to do things with your actual body in order to like, even if it's it's regulated, or get it out or you know you know it, around people keep saying that King processes regulate their nervous system, and every time they say that I'm like, yeah, it regulates their nervous system.
Speaker 2:And then I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? And I'm trying to relate it right now to something like is it like the equivalent of going to be tired and waking up refreshed?
Speaker 1:how do you feel after you do yoga and you haven't done it for a while?
Speaker 1:like you're yoga instructor, so that's probably, it's probably low in the system. Okay. So for me, like for example, I'm in time out right now, so that means I have not engaged in oral sex since the beginning of the month and what I can tell my body once is the I'm piling on. Different stresses, different things in life are stressing me out which makes me clench more and makes me various activities of different stress. It gets easier for me to get anxious, irritated. It's harder for me to think, but things like that. Then usually if I get a pretty therapeutic amount of being able to deliver oral sex to someone, because it is the same repetitive task, because the confirmation and affirmation of like Tosen, you're doing a good job, how it feels, tack to leave the oral fixation of it all, all of those things at once, resets a lot of those nervous system reactions. Afterwards I'm like, okay, I can think easier, my body is not clenching as much, I am more confident in my choices of decisions I can make better.
Speaker 2:So it's like it's stress relief Stress relief.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I could put it as stress relief. I like to say regulating, because instead of just stress relief, because there's like masturbating is considered stress relief, but it doesn't put my nervous system back to normal, it just kind of like is a momentary fix for it, and so I guess if I need to regulate regularly, it's momentary. But yeah, stress relief is another way to put it.
Speaker 3:I think I sort of feel the same way about sex in general. So I feel like, in particular, things like impact I don't necessarily do on a very regular basis, but having a regular sex life for me and also masturbating regularly also just helps me feel better in my own body. I know if I've gone a while and obviously this is with consent and partners and all sorts of stuff, all the caveats but for me, having regular sex for me just helps me feel better in my body, helps me feel more refreshed, more centered, calmer, more happier in my own skin. So I wonder if it's that same kind of thing of just not both stress release and also just a. For me it feels all in the same category of eating and drinking water as part of just a regular body system that when it's in regular practice and things feel good, it helps make the rest of my life better. So maybe it's the same kind of thing.
Speaker 1:Oh, I think that's the other part of saying stress relief, instead of dysregulate in, is dehydration is a dysregulated state, right, and then drinking water will regulate that system again, anxiety is a dysregulated state and whatever the various forms of relief in that thing is well regulated.
Speaker 1:And so lots of sex things for me personally, because it's one of the few things I also have a visceral reaction to. So, like you know, I'm autistic, but well, I guess I haven't been tested, but I have two autistic children. So like what it's likely that I am, and you know I resonate with a lot of the things of that nature, and so because of that, most decisions and happenings of the world are usually some form of fashion scripted for me. So usually things happen, they run through a process in my head and then I decide the reaction to it. This is one of the few things that are like this were reactions to stuff, and so that's why it's like regulating to my system and I seek it all the time. I'm also a regular masturbator. I did spend been quite some time that I haven't like masturbated every day. That rarely, rarely don't masturbate every day.
Speaker 2:You masturbate every day.
Speaker 1:Probably twice a day, I would say. I would say on average.
Speaker 2:What? Even if you have, even if you have sex, oh, yeah, I've.
Speaker 1:I've had sex four times in one day easily. And so like I said, it's like it's. It's like drinking water for me. Like it's. You know, one of the the, the beast gets angry and wants to get out of the cage, the more and more horny.
Speaker 3:I am.
Speaker 1:And so, or the longer in between me climaxing. So it's just easiest for me to like masturbating regularly. I've been smart though I yeah, I'd probably say I masturbate twice a day, Like I've masturbated three times a day.
Speaker 3:It's probably going to be four after this Okay, at least once, sometimes, sometimes twice for me, yeah.
Speaker 2:A day. Yep, I'm going to start masturbating more.
Speaker 1:I highly recommend it.
Speaker 3:Like I think it's a great time, but you know, I feel like it does, definitely.
Speaker 2:Do you masturbate because you feel aroused or just because you want to?
Speaker 3:Both, both there's some kinds of words.
Speaker 4:Always.
Speaker 3:It's like I've got a, I've got an itch to scratch and I've just like I saw something really hot. Or my partner has been texting me like dirty things all day and I want to do that. Or or sometimes it's, you know, before bed. When I wake up first thing in the morning, you know if I've got like a little time before you know I need to start work and my head's hot.
Speaker 3:She's just sitting right there, you know. Start the day with a great orgasm and then I just like wake up, refresh and start my day and feel clear minded and yeah, so it's a little bit of both.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, I'd say the same. It's like it's either because, like I am familiar with the draw from my attention, so like I'm, I work from home and so and I code, so it's like I kind of need very detailed focus and I could tell that like I'm losing the focus because I need to masturbate.
Speaker 2:Wait, is it because you're aroused and it's distracting, like you keep thinking about sex, or just because you're like dysregulated and you need to like focus? So you go masturbate and that fix?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would say it's like at this point it's early stages of aroused distracted. Like I'm familiar enough with my body system that I can tell me like, ah, the horny cloud is coming and I, and like the, the the horny are, I get, the harder it is to like get back to where I need to be at. So it's like if I can catch it right when it's pooling, I'm just like, okay, knock it out, let's get back to work.
Speaker 1:But I mean, like today has been you know, I knew I was going to talk to the end of this evening. Very close to Jason to think of Deanna is that video. So I was like no it is just right there on my computer Now I'm thinking about it, right there and, you know, in the quick folder, in the quick folder. So just right there. Pin on the side of my windows explorer. It's just looking at me.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, it's pinned to oh yeah, yeah, I have a folder that's right in there. This is the quick folder and you are. You are right there, good to go.
Speaker 4:It's, it's, it's so good.
Speaker 1:I was like you know, I don't show people's videos to other people for that, but very often, like this is a custom that I request all the time, like I bought this from other only fans, creators and other people Like I've accepted it as payment for services. Like I'm just like you can give me cash you don't have cash and anything else Like you can if, like we've talked about it, I've had sexy interaction before. I'm not like people aren't asking me to play gigs at clubs and I'm just like, well, you don't have to pay me, you can send me that custom. But very often I'm just like, if you're curious about what it is that I like and how it goes, this is perfect and would show them your video. But I haven't done that because I wouldn't ask you first before I do that. But I was just like this, this is, this is the blueprint that works perfectly.
Speaker 3:Well, you start, you, I can stay on a very official record that you have. You have permission to share it as much as you like. It's like that turns me on too. I was like I've always told like partners where I'm just like you can also just show people my nude photos and I just want to hear the reactions, like I just want to know, like what they think, just want to hear the.
Speaker 2:yeah yeah, like you're the one person who's like, here's a nude photo Also show me.
Speaker 3:Exactly, please, yeah, feel like listen. I get to do that, you know just show your friends yeah.
Speaker 1:Man, my one of my early kinky. One of my early kinky adventures in the live journal doing come tributes for people.
Speaker 2:What does it come?
Speaker 1:tribute. So in the live journal days, that was, they would link to photos of themselves in various forms of sexiness. You would print that photo out and you would ejaculate onto it, and then you would send them a photo of you having ejaculated to the photo that you have printed out of them as a tribute to them.
Speaker 2:I mean like this I'm sorry, I missed this entire phase of the internet. I received no come tributes.
Speaker 1:I mean, the phase isn't over.
Speaker 3:Like I was saying it's still a thing. Maybe just I was on live journal at the time, but I was, you know, being like good, very, very good little Baptist girl at the time and not getting come tributes. I do get those on, only fans, though. Very occasionally someone would be like can I send you a video of me getting off to you? Or like you know, if someone sends me like a very detailed, like, oh my God, I saw this photo that you posted the other day and I just did you know XYZ, and sometimes I'm sneak a little discount and just be like I was so hot. So, though, I think I'm gonna be like.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna be like. I'm gonna be like. I'm gonna be like. I think.
Speaker 2:I've sent you three over the years. Now You're so hot, you take this yeah.
Speaker 1:But the the come tributes now are a little bit more high tech.
Speaker 3:Slightly more high tech, maybe less on printer paper and more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got two cameras, One of my favorite.
Speaker 3:Yes, oh, there you go, yeah, and I can do a full thing. Let's say, one of my very favorite photos that I have is an ex that basically came onto an iPad with a photo that I had sent him, and it's still one of my, just like it's so good.
Speaker 2:I have an appropriate response to sent to nude photo, receiving nude photo or a sexy photo. I have never gotten an appropriate response from sending a sexy photo. It's always like I don't know. Men don't know what the fuck to say. It's so weird, Like they want it and then they get in there like thanks, oh really Cricket.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that's a shame.
Speaker 2:I've stopped sending them as a result and I'll like, if I'm dating somebody and you all give all that you know, I'll do it once and see what their response is and if it is inadequate I won't do it again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, that's, I don't know. It feels like I can't even imagine being like getting a new phone, be like thanks the end.
Speaker 2:I mean, nobody said thanks, but I'll get like a maybe, like an oh baby, and that's it.
Speaker 3:And that's it. Oh yeah, you know. One more response.
Speaker 2:No, hot, okay, they should, they should Cool.
Speaker 3:And I feel like they should be in return, like worshiping the ground you walk on and singing your praises and being like, okay, great, but can I have some more? Because that was really hot and you are just like blowing my mind with it. You know obviously much sexier version than what I'm saying off the cuff, but yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you are, though, because I think many people need to hear the appropriate response to receiving a nude or sexy photo.
Speaker 1:Listen. Look, I understand. Not knowing what, not being able to know what to do. A great response People receiving the nude photos who want to respond in a lovely fashion. Here's a great line Steal it, you can have it. Oh my God, that was so incredible. I would. What can I do to repay you for this bounty that you have brought me? You can use that exact phrase how can I repay you for this bounty that you have brought me? Write it down, copy, paste it, send it when you get the response. Do that, okay.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, I had someone that I was dating back in I guess like 2019, and it sort of fizzled because, like we had, we were, we had really good conversation in person. But anytime in between, when we weren't seeing each other, I'd try to like send sexy photos or like try to, you know, dirty talk or whatever, and it just like would just hit the dirt every time. Just would not. It would be the same sort of thing. The response.
Speaker 3:Just be, like, yeah, just be like, ooh, baby, and that and that, nothing. And I'm like, okay, but like can we versus? Now I will sing the praises of my current partners, who not only just tell me how much of a fucking queen that I am and how much they adore my body, but then also will be like can I have some more? What can I? You know again? How can we, again, in their own form, offering bounty to you, know, their own repayment for the that is a great response.
Speaker 2:How can I please get more of that? Yeah, can I please have?
Speaker 3:some more like please have some more, because you are so incredibly hot.
Speaker 2:Please, I would love yeah, here's my semen upon the floor.
Speaker 1:You did that yes yep all appropriate responses and effort and appreciation is also very, very valuable. Like you know, right Casey's voice is very sexy to me if oh thank you, I literally forgot what I was talking about. Okay, I got it like there's an episode of no, it's the recording that we have at the end of that comes at the end of the podcast. That has a bone in it and what and like.
Speaker 1:So I have a recording that is like a chunk of, like Casey's bones to do that that I cut, looped the best ones next to each other and has have used as master 28 for a while, and I've let Casey know about this for a chunk of the time.
Speaker 1:For a chunk of the time, I was like requested to like inform Casey, like how, when I relieve myself to it, especially right after I made it, it was a high volume and I was just like, because we know like we have like I know you didn't know, yeah, I did. Well, it's like you know, I, I don't want to, I don't want to feel uncomfortable and like we don't, we are like, we're like just over the line of like we're not like we have sexual interactions. We like, we're aware of you're aware of my attraction to you sexually, and so I was like I'm not going to send this five times today. That's, that's, that's probably bad, that's probably bad. Let me not, let me not, let me not say let me not mark up all you five times this. I listened to this recording.
Speaker 2:I mean this is a appropriate response to receiving sexy materials.
Speaker 1:It is an appreciation effort is good. Like you know, there's there's another person in the pink community who does really good like audio, like. They just have a skill set for like doing like jackoff instructions and being like I want to see come on to like making audios of it, and they really like doing it, and so we're in a rhythm. They're like they will surprise me with it on snapchat and I will, within 15 minutes, whatever I'm doing, be like I came here it is and so I love like, if you if you, if you surprise me with toaster and I want you to come things, it will be immediate.
Speaker 3:So you know, and I've made videos of it and and this is impressive because, well, I mean, they're gone during the day and so, like, a lot of my math reading happens like in the time frame of like eight to three when I just am working at my desk and so, but yeah, I would say that the how me and my long-distance partner are is like he gets really excited when he sees the spoiler in uh, in discord, because you can basically flag flag photos or videos or whatever in discord in case it's lewd.
Speaker 3:So it's not gonna like just pop up with like a nude photo. So he was, you know, tells me like his it's butterflies whenever he sees the spoiler tag and I like I like doing that the surprise mutes for sure. Yeah, also, I will say on that note, like it's okay if you don't know the right words or maybe you don't feel good at dirty talking or maybe you don't quite know what to say, but, like tosem is saying, enthusiasm and effort goes a long way. So even if you don't feel like you're like I don't know what to say I don't know if they've probably heard it a million times or I don't know what to you know, just try the bounty line and then just try it and work on it and I feel like enthusiasm goes. So so so far, at least in my experience, yeah, doesn't that really does right by the book.
Speaker 3:Just the enthusiasm and excitement works every time.
Speaker 1:You know, like you know, lyrical, literary ability is not the key to successful dirty talk. The key to sexual dirty. Successful dirty talk is commitment and enthusiasm. Right so it's.
Speaker 1:It's just that's true of everything, exactly, yes, I was like thinking there's another way that I like to describe it like how to dirty talk well is the same thing as like musically accompanying well, and that is easier for people understand.
Speaker 1:I was like if I was playing piano for somebody and that to sing a song and the way I was doing it was like, oh, I hope this is the exist, gonna be the right chord, and I know maybe it shouldn't, and just if I was doing that they're gonna have a lot worse time than if I was just like bam, we're doing it and so and it will matter like we'll figure it out if I'm like definitively saying something and that's enough information to them to do something that gives enough information to me and you'll find your way. Just be okay with like the first 10 exchanges being clunky as long as it's like enthusiastic and committed. After that you'll find each other's rhythm. So just you know, haul off and being there and be like your butt makes my heart so big and my and my pants so big. I really love it like that's, you know, not the best writing, it's like you can.
Speaker 2:Good starting place.
Speaker 1:It's better than oh baby it's better than, oh baby, in silence and crickets yeah, yeah, oh, baby hello yeah, and describe in another dirty talk thing that's the help that was super helpful early on in the game. Describe what you want to do and detail the body part connections right the easy. So what do you?
Speaker 1:mean instead of being like I was like, oh, you're really hot, I want to fuck, you say I was like I want to put my hands, your hands, whatever part of their body you want to connect with. I want to put my hands on your shoulder and then put you, your body, on the bed and I want to grab your hips and slide them into my hips and feel me grow harder in between your legs until I hear you just hit the sensory things, just like pick a sensory thing, pick body parts, put them together the way that you want. So if you're like, instead of saying I want to fuck you, just detail the body part connections and the sounds and touches you want to hear. That'll take you so far, yeah.
Speaker 3:I would add on to that.
Speaker 1:I love that lesson.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's perfect. And also I love when people notice things about like the photos or videos I send. So like you're so hot, I want to fuck. You was like great, that's like level one. But if you go, I really love like the way your ass is curved and like, or you know, I really love the way you rolled your eyes back when you came really hard, or I really love that bone that you made, or I noticed that I can see, you know, I can see that, yes, specifics. If you notice like a little, a little detail and I'm like paying attention and and then I get a sense of like what really turns you on, then if I know that like that pose really turns you on, really like my ass in particular, then I can like lean into that and then it excites you more and then it excites me more.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I would say just add a little detail to you, even just. I feel like that's good dating advice. If you're just like you think someone's really beautiful, just be like. You know, casey, your eyebrows are like gorgeous I've just been noticing them and your hair is really beautiful tonight. I feel like that's better than you know. Just some generic compliment so you can add that in the dirty talk to you.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, yeah, I love this. This is great so we're learning we, we're learning. We are at about an hour. Is there anything, deanna, that you feel like compelled to say or would like to leave everybody with?
Speaker 3:no, in particular other than just know know is an okay answer to yeah, I would just love to impart the like just don't be afraid to explore stuff, don't be afraid to try new things if you have like a little inkling that something might be kind of hot or person might be kind of hot, or like a thing you haven't tried, or like. That's one of the most rewarding experiences of my adult life is just being able to try like foods I didn't used to like, or new, new sexual things that I find really hot, or new things that I can say to turn people on, or you know. And I feel like that just summarizes a bunch of what we talked about. So that's all I would say yeah, yeah, and also anyone listening you look really hot today.
Speaker 2:Oh, sexy face. You all just got a compliment. Oh, where can we find you?
Speaker 3:on.
Speaker 2:OnlyFans. What's your handle?
Speaker 3:My OnlyFans handle is Ms Eldridge, so MS and then Eldridge and, if you like, ELDRITCH everybody. Yes yes, and if you are on Twitter at all and or like Magic the Gathering at all, you can also find me by the same handle on Twitter. So fabulous, come find me, come give me come tribute.
Speaker 1:Come find me the truth that you put on your phone exactly just come over here I highly recommend it, highly recommend it, well, well done 70 out of 10.
Speaker 2:100 out of 10. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I don't know anything. Ann, thank you for coming on for being the first guest of season two and for saying, yes, I know you and I have talked about it for a while.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:I'm glad we chatted.
Speaker 2:And for all the sexy beasts out there, remember we do have a patreon, please. Littlerenngadefilmscom is our website and we have a form there. If you follow all of the breadcrumb trails you can get to the talkdrogymy form. You can fill it out. If you want a specific kink or topic discussed, if you know of a guest that might be good, or if you yourself think you would make a good guest or anything that we can put anything you want on the form and I will read it. And what else I don't know, maybe that's it Not me getting
Speaker 3:ideas for that.
Speaker 1:Maybe that's it Get all your case your best. I also recommend getting Casey to say things to you. It's a great time yeah on the form.
Speaker 2:you can put requests for me to say sexy things in my sexy voice and I'll do it. I'll do it for you, amazing.
Speaker 3:Audience.
Speaker 2:Anywho, thank you for tuning in to episode two of season two of talkdirty to me. Until next time, let's all talk real dirty to one another and when somebody sends you anything sexy, respond with commitment and enthusiasm.
Speaker 4:Later I'll use sexy beasts. Bye, bye. Talkdirty to me is a podcast by little renegade films. It stars Sarah Marie, currie, casey, sammie Casey. Why don't you sound real sexy while you do it, do I? No, why don't you? Oh, why don't I? Yeah, like you remember how you read your synopsis and yeah, you want me to do it like that.
Speaker 4:Yes, okay, genius, okay. Talkdirty to me is a podcast by little renegade films. It stars Sarah Marie Currie, casey, sammie, tosen Alifaso and Stephanie Smith, with silent contributions by Taylor Novak. Title and closing themes by Tosen Alifaso. Follow us on the social medias at talkdirtytomepod and for more of our offerings, go to littlerenegadefilmscom.
