Talk Dirty To Me
Three different friends with four different perspectives on kink, fetish, and sex, talking dirty to each other. Enjoy personal journeys, stories, confessions, and guest experts on all things "dirty".
Talk Dirty To Me
S2E7 (Monday Jones) - Meet the Shamanatrix
https://mondayjones.com
Embark on an intimate journey with Monday Jones, a professional dominatrix, fetish model, and dedicated 24/7 BDSM lifestyle practitioner, as she unveils the delicate weave between her personal kink experiences and her professional sphere. Her story is an exceptional one, starting with her roots in holistic healing—gifted by her Reiki master parents—and leading to her full embrace of the dominatrix role after a profound transition from bottoming to domination. This episode promises to shine a light on the often-misunderstood facets of intimacy and vulnerability, and how they play out in the world of kink. With Monday's insights, we traverse the spectrum from vanilla tenderness to the raw exploration of personal boundaries, providing a rare glimpse into a life where professional and personal passions are inextricably intertwined.
We then lock onto the topic of chastity devices and the intricate dynamics they bring into kink relationships. Here, we contrast the physical differences and psychological implications of male and female chastity, emphasizing the intimacy involved in holding the key to a partner's self-restraint. Monday and I share anecdotes that reveal the profound impact of chemistry between partners, and how this connection can transform chastity from a mere practice to an enriching, deeply bonding experience. Whether you're curious about the mechanics of locked underwear or the emotional weight of a chastity cage, this conversation navigates the landscape of trust, control, and sexual exploration with candid clarity.
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Well, well, well, go ahead and open up your ears, your mind and whatever else you need. You're listening to Talk Dirty To Me.
Speaker 2:Hello all of you sexy, sexy beasts and welcome back to Talk Dirty To Me, the podcast where three friends with three different perspectives on kink, fetish and sex talk dirty to one another. And today we have with us Monday Jones, and I know some of you out there in our listener pool are very excited because you are the ones that told us to get her as a guest and we did. We did, monday, say hello.
Speaker 3:Hi, I love the opportunity to be here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so if you haven't been to Monday's website, please visit MondayJonescom.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm there.
Speaker 2:I'm there immediately because I usually ask guests for a bio. I did not because it like your website. Like you have all the experience and all the knowledge and so many things that I did not know how to submit it in a tiny paragraph. So will you for us, submit whatever is to you the most important, you think?
Speaker 3:Yeah, man, I can't even. I don't even know if I can sum it up in like a few.
Speaker 2:You can use as many sentences as you like.
Speaker 3:Okay, Because I was like I was thinking about this earlier today. I was like I don't know if I can really sum it up in just a couple words, because it's so.
Speaker 2:We like all the words. Use as many as you like.
Speaker 3:It's so unique to each person that comes to visit me and the usually the response or each, I shouldn't even say visits me, because I do a lot of distance stuff too so each person that reaches out to me it's coming. They're coming to me uniquely as them. So I don't know, I don't always know exactly why they're drawn to me, but they are, and I do, I mean they're, and then I'll think I usually figure it out. After we've had a session or talks back and forth I'm like, oh okay, I see why they've, why they were drawn to me, but it's so. See, here I call myself a shaman, oh, you call yourself a shaman. So I come with it, like with this shaman mentality. And then I took atrix from Dominatrix. So the dominant, the leading lady, the dominant lady.
Speaker 2:So let's separate those two things for a minute. And just about you as a kinky person for a minute. Your kink is you are on the left side of the slash. Yeah, you're Dom.
Speaker 3:I'm so. So I actually in my personal life, like this is also really strange is I basically made my personal life because I personally lived BDSM lifestyle and, yes, dynamics, ms Dynamics, 24-7. It's not something that turns off. I ended up turning my lifestyle into a career. And but how I turned it into a career first is I did it as like a fetish model and then it moved and basically doing like fetish scenes with people, and then I started just noticing I wasn't enjoying bottoming it. Just I just got to a point that I just wasn't, it wasn't feeling it, and I did notice that more in my personal life. I did more domination, so I went and studied and got some education around how to package it as a pro.
Speaker 2:When you first started out, you were a bottom or you were a switch.
Speaker 3:A switch Okay.
Speaker 2:And then you were like Bob, this is not for me anymore. And then you were like I'm going, Dom, and you learned how to and you like, brought that into your personal life and then learned how to package it like professionally Amazing.
Speaker 3:And so what I threw in, like you have to remember, vanilla, vanilla is like a flavor too, so and I'm also, I also really like just sometimes like vanilla, just intimacy. So I was like, well, I can't just, I can't just do only kink, because that's not really being true to me. So I do offer, I do offer space to for the vanilla side of things.
Speaker 5:Amazing and the first person, I think we've talked to was Stephanie. We have a whole episode called vanilla is a spice, it's a spice. Oh, and there's so many variations of it too Flavors.
Speaker 2:So you were one of the first people we've spoken with that has said I live the lifestyle 24, seven. Oh really, yeah, and half from the beginning and half from the beginning. When did you realize you were kinky, and was it from that moment that you were just in it a hundred percent of the time?
Speaker 3:I don't know if I realized I was. You just came in to be in that way. I thought that was just how you did it. I think it was like it was a college boyfriend that was like, hey, you know what, you're kind of kinky, and I'm like, no, not. He's like, yeah, you, you are. And I'm like, yeah, sure, whatever, that's awesome. I just, I wasn't afraid to explore the body and I just vulnerability, the intimacy, yeah, the shared space, that's like the real thing, the intimacy.
Speaker 2:And then. So the healer side of things is that did you just? Was that something that you like? Is that a journey you went on because you were interested in healing, or something that you came about? That came about through kink and sex?
Speaker 3:I think the healer stuff actually came more naturally from maybe assistance from my parents and my exposure being the way that I was brought up and and had being brought up on Eastern medicine and looking at the whole body instead of just looking at bandaid fixes with like how the Western medicine kind of approaches well being so. And then my parents were also both reiki masters and my dad was a massage therapist and my mom was an herbalist and cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I studied it from when.
Speaker 3:I grew up in it and then I started studying it at a really, really young age as well, I want to say like 15. And then a lot of my first books were around herbs and plant medicine and then and then I just study around the body and then, on my own personal journey, just to have better understanding, I went into Western medicine myself.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, holy moly, are you in? In what capacity did you go into Western medicine?
Speaker 3:I did nursing for about 18 years, oh, fantastic. Okay, so most of it was oncology and end of life. Okay, that is a lot of transition for people, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's you'll become a very wise person doing that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, you learned a lot about life through the dying. Yeah, A lot about living through the dying.
Speaker 1:That's actually a really interesting triangle with, like, western medicine having the anatomical understanding of the body, eastern medicine having a spiritual understanding of the body and kink having, like, a relational understanding of the body. How do you, how do you think, like all of that? Like, I feel like there's very interesting insights that, like, only someone with all three of those would have. Do you have any specific like things that you've noticed with like those three parts of yourself?
Speaker 3:I mean, I definitely can. I feel like I read the person's body in a very somatic way. I mean I'm looking at them mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually when they come to see me. It's not just like I'm not looking at one aspect or the other, which is really interesting, because it's like and I don't know, and what's cool to a medical intuitive is a word that I use for it, but like I'll have, I'll use an example.
Speaker 3:I had this very sweet young man come and see me. He wanted a cessification session, lovely, last week. What is this? A cessification? So he wanted me to dress him up like a little girl. Oh, a little girl, not a little girl, but like like a girl. Yeah, sissy, yeah, okay, it's like a sissy, yeah. And then the interesting thing is the interesting thing was that when he came in, I you know, I asked him. I could tell that he was super nervous. So I, you know, I let him know that he was in a safe place with me, that it wasn't going to, that it was free of judge you know judgment. And then I just could start reading him and he kept telling me these things that he was concerned about and what made him feel self-conscious and like I was able to tell him because he wanted better hair and nails and, and you know, skin, and I'm like, well, hey, let's get you on some zinc.
Speaker 3:And I'm like it looks like you're also, you know, you're not like really sleeping very well, so let's try some magnesium at night and some calcium in like chamomile tea and stuff. So it's like I'm like giving him this little maybe a yeah, but it's like a prescription through our play, like as I'm dressing him up as a sissy, you know, I'm putting him in my bed, I'm putting this little pink dress and I'm putting his hair into piggy tails and I'm like giving him thickener that they can use on his hair Natural products. And you know, then he's slightly embarrassed that he's. He's slightly embarrassed, you know, about his level of experience. So I give him homework on what he can do at home. This is the other thing. Is he's also or she, she's also caged up in chastity during the whole time, which, I have to say, is probably one of my probably it's, it's probably one of my higher interests is chastity play.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's one of your more favorite things.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't know, and like I shouldn't say, comes and goes in waves. I definitely have waves of it where it's my, it's my favorite.
Speaker 2:Okay, and so for all of our listeners, maybe if you're just tuning in chastity, you don't know, chastity is yeah.
Speaker 3:And I like both genitals caged, so female, female genitals caged as well, just as well as like penis cages, yeah.
Speaker 5:How do you cage a female?
Speaker 3:Hey, where is it? Okay, I do want to do you want to explain it? Oh, no, go for it. Yeah, I think, yeah, I think you have some expertise in this, maybe in this fetish too, For this cake.
Speaker 1:It's basically like handcuffed panties, so it's like it's underwear that has like locks on it, and so like, like chastity chastity for penises is like a pretty yeah Customized cage. Most chastity for women, for vaginas, that I've seen, is just like locked underwear they can't be taken off or penetrated.
Speaker 2:It makes me think of, it always makes me think of oh shoot, is it, it's Robin, robin Hood. Oh the locksmith, I've never lost a key yet.
Speaker 1:That's literally my like. I've been approached to do like chastity with a man before and previously and my number one like hesitation was like I lose my shit all the time and I can't. I can't be responsible for a permanently locked penis. That can't be my life. That's your favorite chastity scene that you've done favorite chat oh there's the one that made you be like. I really like this.
Speaker 3:Oh, I, I think it was with a particular. It was with a particular partner, because I've also I feel like I feel like kinks get brought out of me with a lot of times who I'm participating with as well. Is that does that make sense? Like it gets like more enhanced with who I'm with? But it was one.
Speaker 3:It was one particular partner that I had and we had to play distance wise because he was in. Where was he? I don't know, he was in. He was central somewhere in central United States. So it was so much fun playing chassis with him because we had we had all the tools that you could do at distance, you know, the video check ins and the lock box with the code where I could set the code and I could unlock the box and I be like hey, and I would know that he would be out because I would also have a tracking device on this phone to see where he was at. I knew he would be exactly like 34 minutes from his house, so I would unlock the box at like yeah, the box is unlocked for 32 minutes I hope you can get home or like 29 minutes. He made it a lot of fun and I kept him in Chastity. I want to say the whole. A big chunk of our relationship was him and Chastity, which was we were probably together for about 18 months.
Speaker 2:And we say together he was a partner or he was a client.
Speaker 3:So like that's so hard to say too, because I used to make my husband give me his paycheck to sleep in bed with me.
Speaker 1:Yes, normalize this everyone.
Speaker 3:So it's really honestly it's hard for me to identify like it's the gray. The line is blurry a lot of the times. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay. So occupationally you, you have this, you are kinky Dom in the world, you just exist that way. And then you also studied healing. You grew up in it and it's something that you took on yourself. And then one day you were like I'm going to like I don't think you decided to consciously combine them, I think it just happened. But so, professionally, now you are a shaman matrix and so if I'm a venture, I guess you people find you and they have some sort of healing. Do they come to you specifically with like I have this trauma or I have this thing and I want to work through it with being tied up, or or are they just like I need a kink session?
Speaker 3:I don't, I think at first, you know, because I wasn't branded as they go. Let's say I've been doing this professionally about 10 years say that right, 1012 years or something. So I'm definitely not the same provider or the same persona. Monday, like Monday Jones, has also evolved over those 10 years. So I don't, I definitely don't, approach the work the same way I did then as I do now. I'll say that right out flat. So I don't. And what I told you just a minute ago is like I feel like they come to me. They don't know why they're coming to me, they just feel drawn to me.
Speaker 2:And then you figured out together.
Speaker 3:When I first I feel like when I first was doing, it was just a lot of mostly men, you know, percent men and 92% of them percent married. We're just coming to get their you know shit, some giggles, you know they're itch, they're itch, itched by somebody else. And I was so you know, naive and did see in the industry that I itched the itch. It was fun to itch the itch. Most of it was kinky shit that I was like, yeah, I would do that.
Speaker 1:Whoa.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh God yeah, and a heartbeat Most of them, I talk that into. Let me pee on you. If you don't like pee, you're going to like pee after we're done working together, you're going to like it, I promise.
Speaker 1:You're going to like it.
Speaker 3:It's warm, it's fun, easy to wash off. Yeah, some of them they do have they have they're coming to see me for a particular reason. I have a handful of people who I deal with around actual health issues and sex related, so pain with sex type stuff or sexual trauma that they're trying to clean up or clear out of their system. So some they just wander across my site and they think I'm cute and I go all right, let's set this one up. I'll read out the ones that aren't supposed to see me, that's for sure. You know, I do have a screening process. If they can't pass it, it's pretty simple. If they can't pass it, I don't, I don't, I'm not going to follow through. Yeah, so, and I've done like I feel like all variations of this kind of work I don't know if I can explain that correctly, but like everything from porn to escorting and all the things in between, yeah, as part of being a trauma matrix, or just as like.
Speaker 3:As part of like the sex, like the sex work journey is what I'm saying, like just as part of it. I've tried, like all of these avenues of and when I'm coming to find out is sex is just a part of us, just period, an aspect. Yeah yeah, we relate a lot to it. We put a lot of emphasis into it. It's great motivation, it's how it's, a creative force. A lot of countries call it, you know, chi, which is life force. It's yeah. So we as Americans, I feel like we ignore it.
Speaker 2:Oh for sure. I think we're very repressed, nodding our head because religion.
Speaker 3:Because of religion.
Speaker 5:I think it's more than just religion, though the law of things evil.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, but I mean there's. I think there's more to it than just religion. But, yes, that is. Yeah, that's. That has started the snowball, but why is it continuing?
Speaker 5:It's Minnors still in power, I guess. What was that? Because men are still in power, yeah, and I think the idea of women just winning ever and however exploring their sexuality is a very scary thing for a lot of people.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I will also tell you that men don't like to hear the word no, oh I know, I mean, I'm just, I should say, in my, in my field of work, and they come to me. They don't, they really don't like to hear the word. No, they want to come to me and because they are paying, there's like this, this money thing that's happening. They just think that they could buy me and I'm going to do whatever they want, whatever the fetish is, whatever the kink is whatever.
Speaker 2:Because they've paid, you now will do anything.
Speaker 3:And I'm like hey, my, my integrity is not for sale. Like, if you're not coming in and giving me money like I'm not, I'm not. I could try to explain to them. Like I'm not, a service talk either. This is to my discretion.
Speaker 1:I'm a self service talk. Thank you very much.
Speaker 3:I'm allowing you to come into the space and that money is like gratitude and what I've come to realize after 10 years of being in this business. And then also I'll tell you I went and spent some time on the legal side of prostitution in Nevada for a while and that was my opening. I'm just like, holy fuck, I'm still, oddly, even as a femur dom, a female top, bowing down to the patriarchy in this fucked up weird way.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God elaborate. You'd learn this from being a prostitute. Wait, what was that? I'm sorry. Did I use the right word?
Speaker 3:Oh no, I said. I've tried like every avenue of this and even in the legal, legal side of prostitution in Nevada, and I've come to find out that it's just like these men.
Speaker 3:They think they can come in and buy me and it just, and I'm just sitting there like, well, no, no, it's not. It's not like that. It's like an honor to come into my space. You're not able like you're not, you're not here to buy me, you can't do anything. You want to me. And then what I don't. It dawned on me after 10 years of being in this business. It's like I'm still playing into this fucked up dynamic of patriarchy by offering sex as a service. Like you're shaking your head, you get it, you're understanding what I'm saying. I'm still playing a role in it. I'm capitalizing off of sex that men want and I'm putting a price on it and I'm still participating in the patriarchy. As much as I want to go against the grain and be like this outlaw and be like I'm not doing this, I'm doing an untraditional thing and unorthodox career, I'm still just. I'm offering them a place for an outlet for sex. They can pay for it and come to me.
Speaker 2:But like a lot of it, do you so? Does that mean that you think that there's no way to do healing and recovery through sex that isn't in a sense bowing down to the patriarchy?
Speaker 3:Oh, I think that there's a way to do it. I just, I've just, it's just dawned on me that I participated along the way through this outlet that I thought was going to be like. I'm female empowerment. I'm doing sex work because I want to not cause. I'm a starving you know, starving sex worker. I've chose to be here, you know I I'm doing it as this, you know, as this female dominant role, but still participating in this awkward negotiation that happens with them around what our scenes look like and the weird negotiation around that. You're not doing negotiation, but the ego that comes with it and the entitlement that comes with it, because there's money involved, because they're purchasing, they're purchasing me.
Speaker 2:So how have you? How have you?
Speaker 3:Oh well, I mean earlier years, I just played into it and took the money and didn't really care and didn't really even know what was going on. Until you know, after I've been in it for 10 years and tried on different avenues of it, seeing seeing how this industry there's no, let's say okay, there's no regulations, right? So even even like in somatic work, like that's been the big word that's been thrown around, I feel like have you noticed that? Yeah, so we're somatic, somatic is the new good morning.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I'm a somatic workouts and somatic journaling and somatic. Well, there's the somatic practitioner. I don't want to say it's made up degree, but there's only one place in the United States that offers this degree. That's in California at the moment and it's only been out as a degree for about two to three years.
Speaker 2:Can you define verse what somatic means?
Speaker 3:Somatic. Somatic it's working with the mind, body and spirit. Okay, so how I titled myself this is I went out and did all these studies along, like I did nutrition and fitness and then I did sexology, and then I did Reiki and I did some body work and cupping and a bunch of other things that I threw in there that would work, and then I added through and counseling, education and grief, education and trauma education.
Speaker 2:So it's basically a very holistic, robust approach to all these certificates, basically to try to make this a legitimate thing.
Speaker 3:Well, if I'm going to approach the human body whole, why would I ignore sex? There's just no way.
Speaker 1:You were saying. One of the one of my biggest things that I believe in as well is that, like, for example, I have a partner who I would. We have a regular kind of ligus appointment and often during that appointment, while I'm eating them out, they will take time to like vent about things, because it's very somatically healing to be paring, to be like purging things that you feel bad about, like and then climaxing Like it's a really good way of like pushing that through. And it's also like a like as effectively like orgasmic EMDR, which is like you're kind of reprogramming your internal system to be like at peace with whatever it is that you're dealing with and I'm like this makes complete sense to me, like I I tell people all the time I was like the easiest, the simplest way for to cheer me up and throughout every system and coping mechanism that exists is a like you know, unexpected felatio, right, that'll work every time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Unexpected felatio.
Speaker 1:That was like I'm good for like 12 years and so, and I think I agree with you. I think people like ignore, like they put sex in its bucket, like over here by itself, and then they try to solve all types of internal body problems without that and then they struggle and then when some people were trying to be like, well, you know, there's this age old thing that's really good for the human body that we could be this area that you're totally disconnected from.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and there's conversations like what you were saying, with like learning people. There's conversations that you can only learn, you can only have with people like sexually, like there's. That's the only way you can find out the certain parts of who a person is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, and they bring out. I think they also bring out, like that, others like just they bring out something inside of you and each person is different. So you're kind of your maybe, maybe I don't know, maybe this is just me, but I feel like I'm a bit of a chameleon with each person, and I'm with because they're bringing out a different spice, a different level of me.
Speaker 1:Absolutely yeah, especially if you're like, if part of who you're being in a dynamic is like serving a particular king, even if it's like a self, even with service for yourself, like I'm a service switch. So I'm just being like, you know, I'm just trying to ash catch him. Everybody's good feels and I've never heard that term before.
Speaker 3:I like it. A service switch.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, yeah, I'll be. Whatever you need, I'll figure it out. And the ash catching part is just from the Pokemon song. I want to be the very best, like no one ever was. But yeah, I was like I'm all kinds of people right, like I'm a.
Speaker 3:I'm a heavily totally a chameleon too, or a shapeshifter.
Speaker 1:And I feel like it's great, like why wouldn't you be? I contain multitudes.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, not everybody is is dynamic, though, girl, I couldn't be just anything for anyone.
Speaker 5:I'd have to, really, and I have to show up to something and it be equal on both. Like both people are like getting what they need. That's like really important. Yeah, for me personally, but I totally get the other way around. I just that's just not me, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like that. I like the equal as well, the the. There's some dynamics that I have that it feels like it's even in, even in the space, like the shared space together and the vulnerability. You can see it and not see it, but it's a seamlessly switches and it's like kind of moves back and forth, like like as an ocean does, just rolls with it.
Speaker 2:So what? So you mentioned earlier that you have some clients that you help them work through sexual trauma or trauma of some capacity. Can I would be alright to talk about how? Do you have like a methodology for like how do you help people work through trauma and how, how do you apply kink or sex to that process if it is part of the process?
Speaker 3:If it is part of the process, well, sex is like. So what are we using as the definition of sex? Is that the webster definition of sex? Because I've also come to find out that sexuality and the way that people express it is on a spectrum and penetrative sex isn't always considered. So what I'm ultimately doing with them is holding a safe space that's free of judgment for us to be vulnerable, to create the intimacy that we need to create, whatever that is and I will tell you that 9.9% of my work is probably through conversation, and that conversation isn't always through the body. Like a big portion of it is through like a talk, somatic, like, like you were just mentioning, you go down on your partner and your partner purges.
Speaker 3:If I'm offering somebody a safe place to come in and be able to have somebody that's not going to judge them and still hold the same same capacity of like the confidentiality and the discretion like a standard talk therapist would and I'm not ignoring sex, and that can come up in the conversation, and it can even because it's like it's so subjective. So the intimacy maybe the intimacy is the better word gets to be a part of it. We get to, we get to explore it on all, all levels of that spectrum, because we didn't we put it, we didn't put any limitations on it. I don't know if that made sense. I circled back around. Yeah, sure, yeah.
Speaker 1:No, I mean like alleviating the walls in the boxes I've seen has just been like so good for people who, especially if they've been through like some type of sexual trauma, because they find it difficult to like find their way out into healing when there seems to be only like one way to go and when you give them being like hey, let's get weird with it.
Speaker 1:Like it was like I was just like if you need me to hold you upside down and call you names for you to get through this, I'll do it. If you need me to lift the bottom of your feet so that you can get through it, I'll do it. If you need me to stand on one foot in the corner with the lampshade on and sing and sing Beauty and the Bee songs while you masturbate, we'll do it Right.
Speaker 3:It's fine.
Speaker 1:I was like I, I'm compressive, I think I get out of it as the other people getting things out of it. What?
Speaker 5:was that Expand?
Speaker 2:I think I could all the examples you gave are because you've done them fast of of you.
Speaker 1:The last one I have not, the first two I have.
Speaker 2:Tosin, could you please come over to my house and stand in the corner with a lampshade on singing beauty in the background.
Speaker 1:I'll be there tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I need a sweet moment.
Speaker 3:I need it to heal. I you asked how do I use it as like, how do I help people heal through or heal trauma? Well, again, like, each person is different, so I can help by offering that ear for them to, you know, be the active listener to and hold that safe place, that safe space for them. I do it through body work, just moving it out physically through the body. I have a couple of other Mondalas that I utilize, like Dr Cleansing and Reiki. I do what's called the body decoding, where it's where I can actually breathe the body, and it tells me where trauma is placed.
Speaker 3:Sometimes it's interesting trauma like I could tell. But I could tell like, oh, you twisted your ankle when you were probably like seven and like, how did you know that? I'm like what Was it from a bike accident? And they're like, yeah, how do you know that? Me, I don't know. Your body is just telling me. So apparently this makes you like your body is upset from this trauma that happened when you were seven. But I do also think like the word like somatic, it's overused. Trauma is overused as well. Breathe, you know we have a nervous system and have you seen our nervous system lit up?
Speaker 5:Have you seen it Like it's a whole fucking. It's like a whole.
Speaker 3:It's like a whole skeleton. It's a fucking skeleton. It's a whole body. Our nervous system has its own mind. It's called the brain.
Speaker 2:My, I wouldn't call her a therapist, I just said a wrong word. But the person I do work with recently sent me a picture of what the nervous system looks like. On its own, it's horrifying and hilarious. I'm trying to find the picture right now. It looks like a creature, and she was like this is a creature that lives inside you, that's controlling you. Yes, it is.
Speaker 3:It truly is, and so I would like to like think of trauma. Instead of it being trauma, it's more of like this, it's more of a nervous system. I really like that a lot, and that derailment can be on any sort of spectrum. It can be very light or it can be very devastating, you know, like a car accident or a divorce, because it's like it's life changing, right. Those are two very life changing things that are going to affect the nervous system very similarly and differently at the same time, because of how it got impacted through the body or through, like emotion and mental capacity.
Speaker 2:I think that's a great way to put it. That's why I guess because everybody's like nobody doesn't have trauma. Everybody has trauma which sounds so dramatic it makes it sound like everybody's been to hell and back. But when you describe it that way is like being derailed. Everybody gets derailed. You can either get derailed and come right back, or you got like blown way off the tracks and have to do a little more work to get back on. But you can totally get back on if you do the work.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean I haven't. You. Has anybody been around like a three year old or you know, terrible twos or whatever? Like the tantrum, Like just like saying no to a candy is a total trauma.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh my gosh A little, you tell a little.
Speaker 3:no, no, you don't get to tell her right now. You can go to bed.
Speaker 5:Do you find that the people that come to see you, often their trauma is related to their kink, in that they hold shame around it, or you are their only space, because often with people with what's the word like just very particular kink, they have trouble finding? You know, spouses. It's like easy to date in the vanilla world, but the truth of it is like they're.
Speaker 5:They tend to either have to hide that side or and I would, I would imagine that kind of that shame has got to hold the power over the body and some guilt yeah, a lot of, and they're in grief because they're not living their authentic life.
Speaker 3:They have to, you know, live like this dual life or so. One thing that's interesting is, because of the studying that I've done, I also can tell where we hold certain emotions in our body, and so a lot of the times when I'm doing, when I can feel that we're dealing with guilt or grief, or they'll even tell me like this part of my body aches, this feels like this, this feels like that, and I can read it, I'm like, okay, we're dealing with, we're dealing with shame we're dealing with. Probably it's either his own personal shame or other people's shame around it, right? So then, when we do the scene, if it's an impact scene, I make sure that I hit those spots on his body to help release that pent up energy, that pent up energy and emotion that's been stored in those spaces.
Speaker 2:Like to move it around, like chi or to do. You feel like the act of impacting it breaks it and I, I feel like I'm a vessel half the time.
Speaker 3:So I feel like it like oddly goes through me and like, and then and I'm not going to lie sometimes attaches to me because we're all sponges. I mean we're porous. Human bodies are porous.
Speaker 5:That was going to be. My next question is do you ever feel kind of drained after someone's trauma?
Speaker 3:For sure, after scenes and sessioning for, yeah, and holding space like this. I mean, it is, it's, it is something that is special and really unique to them, and it's not something. A lot of them have partners that offer it or, like you said, outlets because of they do fine in their vanilla world, but they hide this. You know this thing behind closed doors of wanting to wear women's lingerie or, you know, be fucked in the ass or whatever the odd kink is to them. I also think this is collectively, though, and societal and cultural, like we have a lot of suppression when it comes to sex and sex education. I don't know what your guys in sex education look like, but mine sucks, amen.
Speaker 5:I had none Southern Baptist here, so yeah, none exist.
Speaker 3:So all three of you didn't even have sex education offered to you in school.
Speaker 1:I got a video in fifth grade.
Speaker 5:Yeah, me too Same, but would they split the boys and the girls up? So all it did was confuse me even more, because you know we couldn't. And also my husband was in fourth grade where they did it and he, after they pushed play or pause on the film, he said the word erection out loud and they expelled him in fourth grade. What so? Like that is just like that Again, you don't hold that trauma forever, like you get over it, but it's stuff like that sticks around in your brain of like what is negative and what is not okay and what is not shameful like the unspoken, the unknown, forbidden, forbidden when it's just like.
Speaker 3:It's like, did you not? I mean, we fucking masturbate and we fucking masturbate in the womb, do we? Yeah, we have to regulate our, we have to regulate our nervous system. And we're in there. Mom's eating spicy food. Mom's just having her run out real quick. Yeah, it's a pleasure button. It's also part of our bodies. I was also like I was raised on a farm as well, so it's like I saw the cycle of life right in front of me at all times through these animals.
Speaker 2:I love that you, like lived with birth at your like and then, at another point, lived with death. How very like whole transition.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I think even the work that I do now is very transformative. I mean, a lot of people transition from, you know, hiding in that shell and being ashamed of not embracing their true self, and to the transition into a new space with it and be able to own it. And I like getting these, these men who came to see me and not know how to date kinky and me, coaching them along the way on how to do it and also exploring their kinks, teaching them how to negotiate better, how to have better communication around it, how to ask for their needs, find their voice, helping their men. These men find their voice. And I keep saying men, but that's just because and I do see women and I do see couples, but just about, you know, probably 95% of my clients are men at the moment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Two questions for you. One is the following I think you, I think you'd be appropriate person to ask for this. I've been. I've been waiting for a person to ask this question to for like months. Orgasms Hold on Okay. So recently in in my life I have been capable of orgasming, and it's normal and it's great. And then recently in my maybe this last year or two, sometimes I orgasm and it afterwards is immediately accompanied by intense sadness and I will suddenly cry oh, what the fuck is that?
Speaker 3:Oh, deep, deep release. So can I ask you like how old you are? Yeah, 40. 40., okay, and it's been like the last year you're moving into into it. So what, the first, like the first thing into it, like intuitive thing that I got was there's your having like increased hormone releases going on in your body and this happens to be just one of the responses. Your symptoms, like the response of a symptom, just also. That was what I got before I even heard what your age was and then your age kind of came from it.
Speaker 2:So it's like it's like like period emotional swings, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yes, that's what I would. There's probably, and I wouldn't, even if that's the words that you want to put on it it's just trying to understand the imbalance going like a hormonal chemical in bounce going on in your body right now as you're aging.
Speaker 2:The active orgasming triggered a hormone swing that led to an emotional response.
Speaker 3:I'm not sure. Yep, it's like another release. That's what came to me when you were saying it. Do you have, do you have like unresolved sexual trauma that you may know about or not know about? I?
Speaker 2:don't think so. I do not, consciously know of any sexual trauma.
Speaker 3:Yeah, do you get really, really high, like a four-year high, from your orgasm? No, but that's not really nice. No, okay, it's just like you. Just have you just been experiencing like this crash? It sounds like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like, it's crazy, because I'll go from like it's like the orgasm will happen and all of a sudden I'll be like overwhelmed with sadness and like to the point of being able to immediately cry and there's part of me that's like crying and part of me that's like what the fuck is happening right now. Why am I so sad? I just came.
Speaker 3:Have you ever just tried to lean into it and just let it out?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know it's because usually I'm alone. This is only how it happened when I'm by myself, so I don't like try to stop it. It's also like very short lived, it's a moment that's probably under a minute, but it's so intense that like it's stopped me. Yeah, and I'm like what, what, how? And then I've just been curious as to how an orgasm is linked with whatever the fuck that is that allows a big emotional release yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think I can think of is that you're hitting like a real big peak, you know this dopamine or serotonin peak, and then it goes and drops really quick and that's how you're responding. Oh, fascinating.
Speaker 1:Does the sadness burn the orgasm? Or do you like you, you're completely finished and then it happens? Or is it like they're they next to each other?
Speaker 2:Right next to each other. They're living right next to each other, like one is on the heels of the other, like point of climax, maybe a little bit after, and then swell of Sadness that'll this so deep that I can cry. That is also only a moment, like lesson, lesson, a minute, and I've heard of people crying because like crying when they Like I'm not the first person that's cried because of an orgasm, but I've just, yeah, never experienced that before.
Speaker 3:I definitely experienced what you're talking about, and I don't really think I've experienced, though, until my 40s.
Speaker 2:Really, yeah, so I'm normal yeah.
Speaker 5:It's not. The thing is it's not normal. It's that. It's that they just stopped. They just stopped researching what happens to women's bodies throughout their age. They just know, fuck all about what happens to us. And so, oh yeah, we've got our hormones. I mean, there are women that are 35, that are perimenopausal, that have no clue that they are, and they're going and they're getting these pellets in their bodies and they're fucking with every level of every Whatever, and and it's it's affecting every aspect of their life, but yet there's no research. There's just nothing. They're just like a. It's a woman Burner at the stake.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, there's very little research for women only to.
Speaker 1:The only two hints that I've had is there was someone that I used to eat out in their 40s who would occasionally, you know, weep post orgasm and she said that it was like, similar to like premenopausal symptoms. That was like oh this, I have had this feeling before. I've had this feeling after. You forward feelings before? Yeah, so she said that.
Speaker 3:And then there was a trans woman who would cry after Climaxing after she started taking estrogen regularly, or two hints that I was gonna ask you yeah, I was also gonna ask you where were you in your cycle, if you're in your high hormonal cycle, which is like the pre Period, or your low hormonal cycle, which is where, like the ovulation so it's like two weeks High hormonal, two weeks low hormonal.
Speaker 2:Oh, I have no idea. Yeah, I'll pay attention to that one oh.
Speaker 3:Correlation to that too. I know that, like, like, when you talk about them, like the feel a little nostalgic about the one was I've had with it because it was so intense and it's really yeah, it's. It reminds me like take over my body. Yeah, like, yeah.
Speaker 5:It reminds me like Dark Knight of the soul in that, like the people that I've known, that I have are friends of mine that have cried after, but not like tears of joy, because I've tried, I've cried like tears of joy, like After an orgasm or they are. They brought tears to my eyes. I know there was a very long period of my life where every time orgasm I was Picturing myself burning in hell. That was a whole Other place that I've moved past, yes, but then I have had friends who have said that the way they described to me in this one person that I'm thinking of in particular said that Sometimes I feel like as good as I feel in that moment of my orgasm.
Speaker 5:I'm crying because I know like it's gonna be a long time before I feel that good again, which, in my opinion, was like they're just not living like the soup, that they weren't living like a Fulfilling life or they weren't happy in other areas was the way that I kind of saw it, because it was that was what this person said to me was just like I feel like each time that moment happens, it's so amazing, and then I immediately feel like, oh, it's just fleeting to feel good, but it's just fleeting to feel good, was this? That's where I'm like. It's women. We have to help women do what.
Speaker 5:Yeah, they came to me after, after the podcast. This is the person I've known for almost 14 years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sorry I didn't. I didn't mean to interrupt you. Oh, that's in case. Actually, if this started after the podcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say it started after the podcast. Yeah, it's fairly New. Like it shocked me, and it doesn't happen every time there was. There was a brief period of time where it happened for Several in a row and I was like, oh my god, is this my?
Speaker 2:Is this my new norm. I'm just gonna cry in front of the next person I have sex with. But then, like now, it only happens Occasionally and I kind of wonder, because I mean, I've been doing a lot of really hardcore work with self-worth stuff. What say that? Again self-worth stuff? Yeah, like this is my level boss in this lifetime.
Speaker 3:I don't know what position you're in when you're masturbating, but we hold a lot of we just hold a lot of energy in Our hips in general, just how, how the skeleton is built.
Speaker 3:There's a lot of weight bearing in that area. We hold a lot of our experience in that area and with, like I guess Chinese medicine calling are, our genital area, chi, and that, that life force. I mean we walk through or with our genitals too. If you think about it, you're holding so much stuff there and if you're doing self-work on top of it, you're probably digging deeper into some stuff and you know, thematically working out Things that you don't have words for or memories of, because your body just stores it, and I also don't think it's always our stuff either. I think that we pack around our partner's shit. How could we not, like we're doing an energy exchange that, like a lot of the times involves some sort of penetration or Oral simulation that has energy flowing in and out of it, like how could we not carry those people that we exchange that energy with in our bodies?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and sometimes I wonder if the stuff I'm working through is like my mom's.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I was just going to say we especially carry five years of generation back. I mean, I shouldn't say women, but people who carry over overries up inside of them, they, they have five years or five generations, five, five generations back, they carry with.
Speaker 2:That's so much garbage.
Speaker 3:It's so much and you're asking like how do I work out trauma? I mean some of that stuff I do through role play Me too. Yeah, I've worked out some really interesting trauma that I didn't know existed until I did role play, and then I was like, oh Fuck, that was real, oh, that wasn't a joke.
Speaker 5:Yeah, oh, that flashbacks a bit later and I'm like oh whoops.
Speaker 3:No wonder why I wanted to explore that one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've, I've participated in several like Age play, family play stuff and oh yeah, man, you're in things about yourselves and a lot of it.
Speaker 3:Like this is something I've been trying to think about too, because I've been like, oh, how the fuck did I get here? How did my pathway make it here, even though when I look back on my memories, a lot of my memories definitely lead me to where I'm at now. But I wonder if some of that play I'm going to use it as play when your children and doing it, how innocent it is, how innocent the exploration is, or if it's something that's taught to us by older sources, because we are like animals and primal as well, and our Cousins and our siblings are usually the closest to us growing up because we're forced to be with them, right, yeah, because I just.
Speaker 3:I have these memories of, like I just shared with you. I grew up on a farm right. I have these memories of making my cousins hump their pillows, but I remember telling them to hump the pillows like they were dogs Interesting.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I've got. I agree wholeheartedly like in my mind.
Speaker 3:In my mind, though, like when I look back on it, like it even is just fully innocent play, like all the energy that's coming from me in the memory is just I don't know what I'm really doing. It's just this sounds fun, hump like a dog.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean you have to be, you have to be taught to separate it. Like I have two autistic children and one of them's three Right, and the three-year-old is just like loves his penis currently and oh right, and which is fine, do it like it's all good. And since the communication mechanism is like non-normative, like it's not, like it's difficult to like have a conversation about it, and so I also know that he's also not being influenced by any external forces about it, like he's a curious child. The same way that he's opening cupboards to see what happens when you put trucks and strawberries and potatoes into the pot and shake it, is the same way he's just like what does it feel like when I touch here? What does it feel like when I touch here with two hands with a cup on it?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm figuring it out, don't worry about me. I'm like great. Do that in a place where nobody can see you and only you yeah.
Speaker 5:I remember having orgasms at like nine for sure that's like the earliest memory, but I'm sure I was before then.
Speaker 5:But I mean, I had memories of like, like in my grandparents game room, like just because and of course because it was I was religious, and there was always immense shame afterwards, like I couldn't wait to do it, couldn't wait, and then afterwards I wanted to erase, I wanted that like pin from men in black and to just forget about what had just happened.
Speaker 5:And I think it goes back to like I had lots of incidences where I had a younger brother and he had a cousin, or we had a cousin who was his age exactly, and one time I think they were probably and and the cousin was staying over and my mom walked in on them Daring each other to kiss each other's peepees is what they were saying, and I I would imagine my mom probably regrets the way she handled this at that time. This launched a full blown episode into what was going on at my cousin's house and this was not normal behavior. And so, like parents just so often don't even realize they're making these situations so much worse and they're making the things that are very like you just said what so lovely, that's just normal, like it's just harmless. And we, they didn't know what they were doing. They didn't.
Speaker 2:Have they saw it maybe in a movie, heard an older sibling suggest it or something, or I have very big memories of like as a very little girl in I don't even know what grade, like super, before you even did work at school, you just played with markers and glitter, like kindergarten, yeah, kindergarten, preschool, playing doctor. Like yeah, like we'd be like let's go play doctor. And we knew it was bad because we hid, like we would like, under the bed or whatever, like Right, this is a school, we would like run to the bathroom and then I don't, like I don't know how we knew it was bad and the the intention behind it was completely innocent. But we actually knew that the parts involved because like this is my memory, it's all I have is like Going to the bathroom and I can't and like I don't remember if I was the the patient quote-unquote patient or if I was like one of the quote-unquote doctors sounds so creepy, but we call the plank doctor.
Speaker 2:Anyways, somebody was like like they pulled down their pants and took off their neck and they're laying down and everybody else Just kind of poking them. Like a doctor I'm a relation sponge and like wipe, like patting it on her vagina. Like we knew they were like parts that weren't normally out, which is why they were out at the moment, because they were like hidden normally and we Will like it needed to be explored.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the doctor had to check on it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there was no like naughtiness or malice or dirtiness or anything behind it, it was just like yeah, this is actually something that I've thought about a lot, because I'm like okay, where do where do they get this instance from? And I realized it since I can't. My children learn things by rote, and so they do think the only way that they'll do it on purpose is if they've done it that exact same way all the time. So, for example, both of my oldest doesn't like having her clothes on. So unless if like like today, the mechanism for like putting the school stuff away and when they got their tablets and stuff was different, so she immediately took all her clothes off and and this make. And so this has been making me think.
Speaker 1:I'm like where did we, where did I get the idea that my private parts are private before Anything else? And it's because people kept making me wear clothes, it's because every time I need to have my clothes on, they said put your clothes on. So then it becomes a novel point of curiosity For kids to be like why? Well, what's under there? And then and pop, and yeah, and then you learn that, like, you have different parts than some other people, or your part or your parts are different than other people's parts.
Speaker 1:You're like why, that's interesting, and then you also internally know that like there's a significantly different feeling when I touch myself and like any other part of my body.
Speaker 1:Like touch my arm is different than touching my penis and and I'm like I'm one of us like that for other people and so all of all of that and and every time that you've like Curred, even as a child, like touching your penis or being seen touching your penis or anything like that or whatever bit you have, that adult usually is just like some form of hide, and so that becomes like a novel thing. And this also makes me think that, like when people say like naughtiness and dirtiness, I'm like because Internally my internal autistic system does not I have a mask for it to understand like how people want to interact with bodies. Internally, none of that feels dirty and naughty to me at all. Like at any point in time, all over the place, all over the world, I'm just like yeah, we can, like I, the joke I make a lot is like going down on somebody's, like giving somebody a hug. It's like very similar idea of interacting with another human being and I get that that's not the same for everybody else and so and I act accordingly.
Speaker 3:Land, somewhere on the, on a spectrum of intimacy I want to share with you.
Speaker 1:know, certain people or not, people, yeah yeah and again like yeah, the reasons I wouldn't Give somebody a hug, or the same reason that wouldn't give somebody go down on somebody. It was like you'd have to even be like you know somebody I don't interact with at all, some version of like you know gonna get me sick or otherwise. But I think about that all the time, like where do we get this line of like, noddiness, dirtiness, you know you're like the thing that we're doing is bad and it's programmed into us.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it's programmed. I was just gonna say like it's just built in, as that's also why, like I mean I'm against any type of corporal punishment for children whatsoever like so strongly. But like I've also never understood like the place that we call a private part that's where you choose to hit a child, like the confusion there is so Over the top to me that how there's that, how it's still going on today, is really baffling. Like I, we've grown in a lot of areas as human beings, but that you tell a child like not to moon somebody or not to show their butt or whatever, but you're so I was just in an argument with somebody about that.
Speaker 1:I was thinking about you, because I was talking about like I'm gonna spank my children because I think it's. You know, you know like I spanked adults in real life and that is an entirely different mechanism. Like what I want, what I would want in the idea of spanking my children is not solved by that. Somebody's arguing me and you're like well, if people, parents, you discipline each other in different ways, blah, blah, blah. And I'm just like explain to me the difference between like what. Like, why do you, why would you choose to pull your child's pants down to spank them? Like I'm just curious as to like what, what effect that has in the disciplinary procedure? Because the only time I pull people's pants down Is for other things.
Speaker 5:Okay, okay.
Speaker 1:I'm either dealing with poop or or something I deal with with adults.
Speaker 2:Two ends of the spectrum could be dealing with poop on either end. Let's be real people.
Speaker 3:I, I think I went, if I remember correctly, which I remember you can not always serve us right, but I believe I went to a school that you got. You got punished by getting hit in the principal's office, my school's in the school.
Speaker 5:Oh Wow, they didn't have that. They used paddles, but they, when I was in school, they had to. The parents had to sign off on it. But just just being a spanko file myself and even Jillian Keenan says this in her book. So well, it's like just like there are people out there like me that want to spank, I mean that want to be spanked. There's just as many people out there that want to spank. And how many of those people are wielding a paddle in a school of Little children, you know, like that's just yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I, I was also raised in a home where spanking was used as punishment. Yeah Same, but I have a time in generation I feel like, and hopefully it is one that the younger generations can grow out of. I.
Speaker 5:Hope. So I think I think it is heading that way. I just think the South is usually a little behind on Everything, so you know, but I just remember the trauma that was that all of the United States is kind of behind. That's true, oh, that's true, the whole United States.
Speaker 2:Probably the surrounding oceans. Actually, you're right. I don't even know their side of those oceans.
Speaker 3:here you were absolutely correct on that. I don't feel like I even was able to you fully owned that. I sold sex as a job until I went and worked out of the country and saw how Other places treated sex workers.
Speaker 2:What's the difference? Yeah, what is it.
Speaker 3:Oh, I mean, like the other countries that I chose. I mean I chose Australia and New, zealand, you and UK and Amsterdam and Germany to go and work out of all of these places like New Zealand and Amsterdam or New Zealand. In Australia offered you health insurance, tested every four weeks. Who got tested? No matter what? The doctor came to this came to the establishment and tested.
Speaker 1:You see, I'm about to get real fresh.
Speaker 3:It was just it was treated like a job. I would go get my haircut at the barber on the corner before my shift and and he one day he asked what I did and I was just like I was just gonna tell him, I'm gonna tell him I'm a pro dom this temple in the red light district, and I told them and he goes cool, my girlfriend works at the brothel at the end of the street. We usually have lunch together when she's there. Your girlfriend, she's like, he's like yeah, it's just a job around here. What do you think? I think it was just like no big deal.
Speaker 2:Oh, man, I just a job around here, all this apprehension about admitting it out loud and you're like boring.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, like my whole like experiences so different than his mind is like anxious and nervous and, like you know, coming out of the closet and his was like, yeah, whatever, yeah you're. American Are you?
Speaker 2:You're a bunch of repressed motherfuckers oh pretty much after working.
Speaker 3:Working you know these other countries that really just owned it. I was like fuck this. You know, I'm so tired of living and hiding, I'm just gonna be out there. This is what I do.
Speaker 1:Yep, no, I love it. I love it. I think I think one of the largest crimes that we do as Americans is the way that we repress sexuality and the way that we like demonize sex work in general. And I'm just like, if you literally just like, let's just create safe places For people to do full-service sex work. Let's create a mechanism to protect those sex workers. Let's come up with like intellectual property and like covering medical expenses for content creators. Let's just make it all fine and the effect that will have on the consumers of that is Would be so great.
Speaker 1:Like I think about, like the frustration I had when I was like younger, before I was like financially capable of being able to like a purchase and consume the types of things that I want that it was like it was so frustrating and it's a nice to be able to be like. I am in particular need of this particular type of attention I can go get right now, because if that frustration builds up, I mean poorer and poorer choices for myself, like I do more and more dangerous things, and now that I can just like go on loyal fans and just like be like hey, the person that I follow, can I give you $50 to say my name while you climax. And they will and I'm happy.
Speaker 1:I buy shoes, you got your name being said while somebody comes exactly, it's fine.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So what are some of the? I guess what is what you guys think is the weirdest kink that you've came across so far on the show.
Speaker 1:On the show I'll just yeah, I just came across the weirdest kink that I've ever encountered personally, and I don't actually think that it was weird. It was just like the most unexpected Interaction that I've ever had was On my birthday. I had like made a post to be like hey, it's my birthday, I have a hotel, come Let me eat you out for my birthday, because that's my favorite thing. And a person from Fedlife like took me up on that offer and that like slipped into like one of the more intense like DDLG dynamic said, been in which is like daddy, dom, little girl from you who don't know, and While we were having sex she really wanted me to tell her that like that she was doing really well in school and then, like I was proud of her and that like now I'm not good, like now I'm not gonna leave, like the one that you wanted me to respond is like he was like I was like you know, it was like so you're gonna stay now. So you're gonna stay now, right, and I don't want to say that it was weird.
Speaker 1:That was just like really really unexpected, right, yeah, and I stayed with it because I'm like I could tell like you're working through something and yeah, and, of course, like if I do it in Tennessee like that. Like 25 hours later I'm just like hey, I'm checking on you because we, it seems like we wandered into a trauma area. How you doing, do you mean anything? Yeah, and so that was probably the most unexpected thing. The one that's made me laugh the most Probably is a documentary that I watched that was about like a gentleman who's kink was having sex with buildings, and the documentary is basically the documentary is basically like a whole series of like how the support group like created a Scenario where he could like get that kink out.
Speaker 3:Oh nice, Maybe something weird is, but what's the most interesting? That you're just like oh well, but it sounds like you you've definitely which could fall under weird.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I think I guess.
Speaker 5:I'm struggling. I'm struggling too.
Speaker 2:Like I want to say, the most intense one we've encountered is sounding, but I don't think that's like weird.
Speaker 5:I think that's the thing is like I'm having trouble thinking of anything weird because to me, having to keep myself, I feel like I can always draw the line back to it. Well, that makes sense why this person has it like it Like. So like there are things that still I don't want to say anything that would offend anyone, that has any king, but things that are still like maybe I pinch my leg when I hear it because I'm like don't make a face, because that's a takes my breath away a little bit. Sounding was one of those, and you know people, you know we've any type of an, you know I like pain, but any type of like stream, plant pain with like blood and that kind of stuff is just like hanging.
Speaker 5:Yeah, just like that scar, you know, like just stuff that's going to be permanent is is kind of jarring, but I but I again nothing is. I don't think anyone could shock me at this point.
Speaker 2:We've had. We've had peripheral discussions about blood play. I feel like that one's a little more shocking for most people. Yeah, oh, wow.
Speaker 3:You wouldn't so. So something that I've come across just being in the, the kinkster world, at least for you know, through fet life and like going around the United States and in other countries doing this, I have noticed that geographical locations kind of stand out in certain kink areas, and something that I saw in the Pacific Northwest, like one of their biggest kinks is blood vampire play and blood play in the Northwest. Yeah, and the Pacific Northwest. I don't know if it's because it's dark and gloomy and wet and dang.
Speaker 5:It's because, it's why like it's.
Speaker 2:why do that's weather?
Speaker 3:Could be because it could have been like it was already here and Twilight added to it. That's true. I do remember it being here before Twilight. Yeah, I've definitely have done some intense blood scenes and, like I am a, I'm a safe player, so it's like they always have to go get like all their blood work done before we do something.
Speaker 2:How do you make?
Speaker 3:them, bleed them or me. So I play well when I did, when I was bleeding, like honestly, like how to menstrual cycle cycle, I would do Ruby, ruby showers as well, nice, yeah. And then I I have like these intense fantasies as well with like blood. I don't know if I'll ever get to axe them out or not, but I really do hope I get to. And it's just in a lot of it isn't because blood is the element like, blood is just the tool that I'm using to do the edge, cause I don't really care about blood that much, it's just the effect of it.
Speaker 3:And using that, that substance will give the edge and the rawness to the the scene that I'd like to do. Yeah, like, I want to. I like, I want to pull, like, as a phlebotomist, pull blood out of their body and then like their own blood and then freeze it over time, like store it, and then I want to bathe them in it. Yes, please, yeah. So this is like this is the edge factor, right, like, but it's like I would want to, like I could probably do that with my pee too, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Let me start my video for you for a couple of days, no problem.
Speaker 2:I feel like there's probably several people who are listening to this podcast who are like raising, like slowly raising their oh, please take my sign.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I'll go get blood right now. Someone jam.
Speaker 3:What was that Blood? Is your jam?
Speaker 5:No no, no, I never, I just never. I never want to use it. I never want to yuck someone's yum because, like, just because I'm not into it, like I am so, like, yeah, enthralled by people who, like, have their thing, but I wanted to ask you what yours is like, what's the craziest thing that you've had?
Speaker 5:Because you said earlier that you said earlier, I wanted to know what you'd said no to, or the people that would come in and think that they could pay you to do these things that you were like. No, absolutely no. I have more or I have.
Speaker 3:Usually, what I would say no to is if they wanted me to bottom, I don't know, as long as, like I want to say, majority of the time I'm up, I'm up for the game. If I get to be the facilitator, if I get to play because, like I feel like my, I stand out the best, if I get to be a female lead, that's my role. And if I get to play my role and show up and do my role like I'm going to do it the best, I can fucking do it. You start trying to, like, dictate me and control me, try to buy me to bottom for you. No, I don't even bottom that well, I'm a really bratty fucking bottom. I'm like a full on pillow princess dominating while I'm bottoming.
Speaker 5:Most bottom, most good bottoms are that, though. We're like.
Speaker 3:I know my boundaries are. I know what I like, I don't like. I know how to ask for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could. I know that I probably have. I've soiled a few tops in my, in my dating career.
Speaker 1:That just means they're unworthy there you go. I was like, look, I have a.
Speaker 3:I've been with bratty bottoms and I'm a bratty top to be worthy.
Speaker 1:You won't have a problem.
Speaker 3:That's the oddest request. Like I, like I feel like I've had like the little talk factors, like you were talking about Stephanie, like that face, like you can tell, like no, you did not hide the emotion when they told you, but you're not, like you're totally not yucked by it, you're just like oh whoa.
Speaker 3:I was expecting that to be the thing we were doing. I've had a different, different points in my, especially in my career, but just different points and like it was like dating life, because I told you I charged my husband is sleeping my bed to sleep next to me. So one of the first gigs I did when I was, I think, 21, 20 or 21 in Seattle it was it was food, but it was like food sensory and he wanted me to smash food on him, on like his naked body in the kitchen, like smash, like tomatoes mostly, and like bananas, like squishy things into him.
Speaker 2:And is that for him considered sex, or was there also sex involved?
Speaker 3:Oh, he was totally aroused by that, if I. If I remember correctly, he was just like all into it. I don't remember him. I think he wanted to jerk off and I told him no, we just agreed on smashing food.
Speaker 1:Keep your hands to yourself. I'm not giving the tomato.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm sure that he probably would have if I would have, like if my boundaries were okay at that moment. But I just like you know, it's like one of my first gigs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you were like. You just told me I was smashing tomatoes. That's all in the bag.
Speaker 3:Not you jerking off, oh no, don't do that, yep, yeah. I'm not but just like, no, I'm not there for that.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it can be. It can be consensual, that's yeah. Yes, that's true. Anything that's not consensual is you, I will say that.
Speaker 3:Oh for sure, that is definitely there. And then another request that I got when I was in Australia that I was just like kind of blown away by, like my totally shocked but at the same time like, oh my God, this is up my alley. I want to do this, but it was a Jewish man sticking me out for race play as like a German soldier.
Speaker 2:Yes, and it, yeah, I fuck up, I heard, I heard about it.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, and when I like when he first told me, I was like oh my God, this is a thing. And then, of course, like my you know, my brain starts rolling with it and I'm like, of course, this is a thing, holy shit. This is where the healing comes in. This is the aspect of where I can be transformative, with generational in my role play.
Speaker 2:So you have to be a German soldier to a Jew yeah.
Speaker 3:And like in a role it was, I was in a dungeon at the time. I remember that I was working out of a dungeon and I actually they had like a kind of a soldier ish costume. It was that it wasn't German, I think. It was like latex too. It was totally like sexy, sexy vibes, sexy soldier vibes, and we did a lot of I mean again like a lot of talking before we set that up. Oh, yeah, yeah and did it.
Speaker 3:He came back to see me multiple times after that Just once, multiple times and he said that he had been trying to find people to do this with him to the capacity that I was doing it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, people would shy away from it.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I even like at first, was like I should shy away from this and I'm like this isn't once in a lifetime, bullsh**t man. However, I'm to find out it's not as rare as you think it is.
Speaker 1:No, I'm looking at one. I've been looking for my whole life to find somebody who will dress up in a clown clan outfit and say mean things to me. I've been waiting for that for a long time. Oh my God, you give me the chair. There's my face.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, it gives me the chills, because I have also wanted to do these kinds of scenes to that level.
Speaker 3:Like it's really like I want. Like I want controversial sh** when it comes to my erotica. I like I've asked a few of my friends of color to do something, to do those kinds of scenes with me and photographs, and they're like you know that, like you're going to get, you're going to get talked about, like I don't care. So what? Like we we've fetishized this, we taboo, we make a taboo, we put it on the shelf and we don't talk about this sh**. Yeah, but it's happening around us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I landed on it. I landed on it accidentally, like it's probably not like the best way that it ever happened, like I was in a racial degradation scene because the person I was blowing was racist and fortunately I'm, like physically safe. So it's not like.
Speaker 5:They were actually racist yeah.
Speaker 1:And I was like, but I can take him. So if, like, he really wanted to, like, try to actually harm me, we were going to be fine. But like, and so it was just like I was I was blowing him and then like, as he got more and more into it, like you know, slave owner stuff came in.
Speaker 3:You're like, oh, you're racist, yeah, and like yeah like it was blind a little, a little red flaggy at first, but then it was definitely in your face. I think about it every day.
Speaker 5:Let me ask a question in a perfect world, though, that when you're searching for something like that, are there red flags that, like you wouldn't really want a true racist person to play with. Right, like we like safety measures, like when we've got like an audience listening, like you would want someone who is a right or no, or you want the full real. So I want you to have these actual feelings.
Speaker 1:This is a great question. So if you are listening and certain in searching for this, it is unsafe for you to seek someone who is prejudiced against you to enter into the degradation scene for. Don't do it. Thank God, I did it and it was awesome.
Speaker 2:But it happened unintentionally. It happened unintentionally. Yeah, I was right.
Speaker 1:I didn't think that was like.
Speaker 1:I thought it was just like a regular blow job, and then, as it progressed, yes, I could tell that like he's wanted to do this for a while and when he did it I was receptive to it and like it just continued escalating, like I played into the whole thing and we were fine and I could tell when we were done like he like felt bad about it and so like, in a perfect world there are. In a perfect world, there is a, there's a, there's a white man out there that just also is in the racial degradation, who is atop and has no way of letting that out, and I am a black man who's in the racial degradation, is the bottom, and we found each other Right and you know, you know, in a perfect world, that's what occurred, right it is the Disney version.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is. I would say it's more likely that he's grown up with, like, certain types of prejudices and things and like just has that Fetishization and then he got to let it out at that time because he's half my size and I Like again, if he really was trying to do anything, I just pick him up and throw him somewhere.
Speaker 3:You were asking if it would be safe to do it with somebody who's actually real racial, racist or not.
Speaker 3:Don't know if, like, we could even just remove the word race out of it or racism out of it and and just point out the mere fact that Sex and dating isn't necessarily a safe sport. I I'll even say when, when I had way more fucked up encounters when I was dating, when there wasn't an Asking tribute involved and wasn't doing it as like a professional Mistress than I did as a professional mistress. As soon as I made it more transactional and more business-like, I had way more safety right there and I was also doing screenings and background checks, where you don't always do that with online dating, and I've definitely been in some fucked up situations where that weren't consensual and so and that's where and that's where sex can. That's when we don't have sex education, when we have all of this Shame and this cultural Repression around it. This is the fuck, the fucking shit that comes up assaults, a rape, us fetishizing this stuff and not having safe outlets to go and explore it or even understand it right, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm glad we're having you over another. So because I have a thousand more questions to ask you, especially now, because I think yeah.
Speaker 3:Excited about doing it again.
Speaker 1:I think we have a episode like talking about racial degradation, that like didn't play well enough to put up.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I had like stomach issues first, seven days after.
Speaker 3:I will say that that was not the first scene that I had done like that. That was like. That was probably like eight years ago now, I will say. In the United States I mostly work with young black male Meals. Yeah, I mean like you a few, a few, a few black, few black women as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I understand the appeal. I've subscribed to several of your things.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was told when I had a business partner that we were not allowed to do any sort of race play what so ever with my production company. And as soon as these left, I was like fuck that shit. I want to do a kidnapping scene where I kidnapped a black lady, black trans lady how about that? And like, oh my god, he's just even saying that like I, like I had so many people go, you shouldn't do that. I'm like why not see? I think we fuddish size about it. We don't talk about it, or the way that we do talk about it is in this scary realm or Newscaps where they get murdered and shit, but we're not talking about how people fudish eyes about this shit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and the people are actually aroused by this shit.
Speaker 5:Yeah, and I would rather, I would rather going and dawn they become cops.
Speaker 1:I was literally said what I was about to say.
Speaker 5:I was. I was just like I would.
Speaker 1:I would much rather people just get this out like in a kinky fetish way. Say then space to do it and people dying on the streets because they're. It's coming out sideways and I was just like you got it I understand why, like nevermind We'll, we, let's please, let's talk about this again, oh yeah, we can play.
Speaker 3:We can totally talk about it again if we would like. I had any interesting requests that lately that was kind of along those lines, were like along the ways, like that was one of the Face-dropping. Oh, I did get one guy who wanted me to Hug, tie him and invite all my friends over and pretend like I was having a hog's feast. And he was, he was our hug and we would eat him. But we wouldn't really eat him but we would, you know, like pretend, cut him and he'd hear centerpiece on the table.
Speaker 2:So funny.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know comments about how tasty or how bitter he is or whatever it is. He looked like a pig too. That was the funny thing, yeah we got a flat nose, or that one. We, he only, he only did the consultation for that. He didn't actually book me for it. But that was like when he booked me, like was in the process of booking me, I was like, oh my god, I hope I can make this one come true, like this sounds so much fun a feast out of a human pig.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's so great. Any any last questions for Monday, or Monday for any of us for this for this time around, before we come back to next time around.
Speaker 3:No, I'm excited about doing it again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I have too many. I'm just gonna wait for the next one.
Speaker 2:Okay, write him down. Write him down.
Speaker 1:Let's pick up, I already left off.
Speaker 2:That would be lovely. Ladies and gentlemen, these and thems, all you sexy bees, thank you so much for turning in tuning into this episode of talk dirty to me with Monday Jones. Monday, where can we find you on the internet?
Speaker 3:Oh, I have my instagram and twitter and then they're both on my website at Mondayjonescom.
Speaker 2:Mondayjonescom on the internet. Everybody go check it out. She'll be back with us next week because we have a million more questions Million and please see it works if you fill out the form on our website, I try to make your wishes come true. So if you go to talk dirty to me Dot com, talk dirty to me, pod. I've forgotten our website.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, Little renegade films yes it's none of those little renegade films dot com. Go to podcast. Click on talk dirty to me at the top You'll see a form you can fill out. If there's a kink you want us to talk about, if there's a guest you want us to have on, if you have a question, a confession, anything, put it there. I read it and make it happen.
Speaker 2:It's very sexy you want a custom sexy poem read in my, read in my divorce Dozen. We'll do that for you. You can go to our patreon too. If you want to support us and help make us, give us means to make our art better. Please visit our patreon. The link is in the website and in the show notes. And fuck yeah. Thank you so much for being here and until next time, let's all.
Speaker 5:Get our kids on in a consensual way.
Speaker 3:It's actually sexy work.
Speaker 2:Let's all do some sexy work, some spicy work. Bye.
Speaker 4:Bye, bye. Talk. Dirty to me is a podcast by little renegade films. It stars sarah mary, curry kasey, sammie kasey.
Speaker 5:Why don't you sound real sexy?
Speaker 4:while you do it, do I know, why don't you? Oh, why don't I?
Speaker 5:yeah, like you remember how you read your Synopsis and yeah, oh, you want me to do it like that?
Speaker 4:Yes, Okay, genius. Okay, talk dirty to me is a podcast by little renegade films. It stars sarah mary, curry, kasey, sammie, toast, now fesso and stephanie, with silent contributions by taylor novak, title and closing themes by toson alfaso. Follow us on the social medias at talk dirty to me pod and for more of our offerings, go to little renegade filmscom.
