The Poop Cruise From Hell

Poop Ship AKA 2013's Carnival Triumph, need I say more?

on February 7th of 2013, thousands of people boarded the Carnival Triumph, anticipated a relaxing 4 days at sea, the first 2 days went off without issue. Sadly, by day 3, guests were now pooping in red biohazard bags, and 'weeing' in the shower.....  this may not be a true crime story, but its still one of the scariest stories we have ever covered....

TRIGGER WARNING...... soo much poop talk....

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:04

Welcome to Everything Scary. My name is Lynn and I'm here with my co-host local celebrity, sorry, sorry, international celebrity. Thank you, matt McClain.

Speaker 2 0:12

Hello, hello.

Speaker 1 0:13

Every Tuesday we release a new episode, mostly true crime, but we've also been known to cover a pandemic, a haunting, a super mad, super strong chimpanzee. We'll cover anything and everything scary. Please rate us five stars and join us on Instagram at Everything Scary Pod. Here we go, hi.

Speaker 2 0:33

Hello.

Speaker 1 0:34

How's it going?

Speaker 2 0:35

That was a very sultry.

Speaker 1 0:37

Thank you, oh, hello, I've been working on being very sultry.

Speaker 2 0:40

Oh hello, hi Breathy is what I love to do. Hi, yes, welcome to ASMR. Everything's scary.

Speaker 1 0:46

So last week we concluded our polyclass coverage.

Speaker 2 0:51

Yep, what is the polyclass thing again?

Speaker 1 0:54

It was a 12 year old girl that got taken out of her home.

Speaker 2 0:57

Oh, america's sweetheart, or something yes.

Speaker 1 1:00

So today I sit in front of you. Your parents are in Florida, so we are no longer able to use your mom's laptop in order to record.

Speaker 2 1:07

That is correct, you're from old school.

Speaker 1 1:10

I have a big stack of paper in front of me, so if you all hear paper turning, that's because we're old school. I love it. So when we did polyclass, I promised that we would do a lighter case and I think I pulled it off. It may not necessarily be a true crime case, but it's still horrifying.

Speaker 2 1:30

Is it a true story?

Speaker 1 1:32

It is a true story Is there a crime that takes place. I don't think technically, oh well, this is controversial.

Speaker 2 1:38

The podcast is called Everything Scary, and this is definitely scary. Well, I'm in.

Speaker 1 1:42

Okay, so I just licked my finger. Oh, right To turn the page A little bit of the access off, so you know, I would imagine that people who experience this are still dealing with some form of PTSD, and rightfully so.

Speaker 2 1:57

Yeah, why the fuck would you ever go on a cruise?

Speaker 1 1:59

Oh boy, Hopefully second handymandes back from hers by the time.

Speaker 2 2:02

Do you ever go on a cruise? Have you ever been on a cruise?

Speaker 1 2:05

I don't think I'd enjoy it.

Speaker 2 2:07

No, because there's like a morgue on the vessel. Did you say there's a morgue? Yeah, there has to be. What the fuck are you saying? Well, people die on cruises, so they got to do something with the body. There's not a morgue? Well, what do you think they got to do with all the bodies, all cruise ships? Go ask your girl.

Speaker 1 2:22

Hey Siri.

Speaker 2 2:22

Hi Siri.

Speaker 1 2:25

Are there morgues on cruise ships?

Speaker 2 2:29

Some cruise ships have morgues. This answer is from bestlifeofmindcom. First of all, if you have a website called bestlifeofmindcom, you shouldn't be quoting that. Cruise ships have fucking morgues. Live up to your brand, sure, maybe talking about the fucking water slides on cruise ships.

Speaker 1 2:49

Oh God, this is awful. It's like weekend at Bernie's. That would be a good sequel, though.

Speaker 2 2:54

Weekend at Bernie's. He's dead on a cruise.

Speaker 1 2:56

They didn't have a morgue, they sent him in the slide. It would be hilarious. So before I get into the story today, I just want to give a quick thank you to our newest patrons, and I would also like to read one of our kind reviews before we get started. So thank you to Derek, and I also want to give a huge thank you to Gigi, who officially became our first annually paid subscriber. Thank you, gigi. So thank you so much for having so much confidence in us.

Speaker 2 3:26

At least one of us does.

Speaker 1 3:30

So and here's a review, because I said I would read these nice reviews it's a new one and it basically just sums up how I stumble into most things in my life, and for that reason I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 3:40

I love it.

Speaker 1 3:41

So it's from Territobi and the subject line is stumbled onto this podcast and they wrote hey, I have no idea how I got here, but I love the show. That's amazing. I've gone back and listened to all of the past episodes. I work a job that at times can seem robotic in its tasks. I pop in an ear pod or an earbud and listen to Lynn and Matt tell a story makes the day faster and easier. Thanks for that.

Speaker 2 4:09

I'll tell you that is. That is humbling to help somebody, to help their day go by a little quicker when we've all got just like so much shit on the go.

Speaker 1 4:21

And I mean you guys could return the favor. These are long over here too, you know. Just kidding.

Speaker 2 4:27

It was the last time you helped us get through our fucking day.

Speaker 1 4:32

So thank you so much for that awesome review. We don't know how you stumbled upon us either but we're glad you're here.

Speaker 2 4:38

I don't hear shit from any of you. So the story I'm going to tell you now.

Speaker 1 4:44

I'm going to take you to Galveston, Texas.

Speaker 2 4:47

Oh nice.

Speaker 1 4:48

It's 2013. Yeah, the low in Texas at this time was 55 degrees Fahrenheit, which is about 12 Celsius, which is a little chilly, but to us Canadians, I think we're all still wearing shorts and the tops. But for Texas. I think that's pretty cool.

Speaker 2 5:05

Yeah, like it's a deep freeze.

Speaker 1 5:07

On February 7th, 3,145 guests gathered to board the Carnival Triumph for what was supposed to be only a four day cruise. Oh on top of the guests, there was also 1100 crew members, which meant that there was a whopping 4,243 people on board.

Speaker 2 5:25

What was it? One crew member for every third passenger Is that that's a lot.

Speaker 1 5:30

It seems like a lot, but they probably could use more.

Speaker 2 5:36

I can't wait to be starting talking about poop.

Speaker 1 5:40

This is your bread and butter. We're right in your. I love a good poop story If there was poop and wrestling this would be your topic. So they had planned to cruise to Cozumel, mexico, at which point the guests would disembark. They could go sightseeing or partake in some delicious Mexican food.

Speaker 2 6:01

Or, from what I understand, when you go on a cruise. When you disembark then you go to the village where everybody's like, hey, do you want to buy this shit that we've made?

Speaker 1 6:09

Hey, GPGP that's right. That was when I For the longest time when we were in the Dominican. I don't remember which time it was, but I thought he's like hi, my name is Chibi Chibi. And then I said to my husband let's go down and get some stuff from Chibi Chibi. And he was like why the fuck do you call him that? I thought his name was Chibi Chibi, but he was saying Chibi Chibi.

Speaker 2 6:28

Yes, that's. Funny, that's stupid blonde. That guy's calling me cheap.

Speaker 1 6:33

So they were going to disembark, they were going to eat some tacos, which is just have you ever done that?

Speaker 2 6:40

Have you ever had Mexican food, do you? You don't have like a regular table at an authentic Mexican restaurant on the road. That wouldn't be something that you'd pull.

Speaker 1 6:50

I'm really embarrassed, but like not embarrassed at the same time, like I'll tell people who want to hear about it. Me having to drive to your place in order to do our recordings is tipping my scale a little bit, because I will not pass up a good opportunity to go and get some authentic Mexican food.

Speaker 1 7:09

And it's gotten to the point now where, like, they can have like a table of like 10 waiting at the front door at this. It's called hey Corumba, it's in Bradford, if you guys know, you know, but when I walk in I'm by myself with my stupid little laptop and he will give me a table of six and make the other people wait because he's like she is our bread and butter. I love it and I'm like you hear my tacos and fajitas and sex is the only thing missing from that affair.

Speaker 2 7:36

Oh, my God, I love him so much, though you know what I don't think it could get better, so like sex would only take away from it. Sex would only ruin it.

Speaker 1 7:42

Sex would ruin the affair Just give me the burrito, so you know they could go eat Mexican food, which is, quite frankly, the most delicious cuisine of them all, in my humble opinion. You'd recommend they could shop, they could listen to live music, and afterwards they would get back on the cruise ship and they'd simply go back to Galveston.

Speaker 2 8:03

Go see the show on the cruise ship.

Speaker 1 8:06

You could see the musical They've got you know, the triumph was actually like the pride of the Carnival fleet. It was the length of three football fields which I had to look up, so it was actually about 1,080 feet long.

Speaker 2 8:18

Okay, that's about it.

Speaker 1 8:20

It had a huge casino floor. There were 13 decks with four swimming pools and seven whirlpools. This was essentially a resort on the water. Have you ever been on a cruise?

Speaker 2 8:30

No, god, no, you could not. You could not cut me a check for an amount. I know the morgues. I don't vacation with morgues, ok, also, I'm claustrophobic. I also feel that anybody who invited me to go to the cruise wants to kill me, and it's only a matter of time before they say, hey, look at the back, come on, let's go check out the back of the ship.

Speaker 1 8:54

You had to wait for. How many years did you have to travel with your radio station to go to like sandals, resorts and stuff like that? Right? Yes, ok, so did those people try to kill you.

Speaker 2 9:04

Well, legally I can, I'm going. No, I yes. Ok, let me rephrase that yes, if I was forced to go for work, I would have to go.

Speaker 1 9:14

OK, yes and like, because you would always have to like, put on a big hurrah right Like. This is the best place on earth.

Speaker 2 9:19

Yes, and we were all on the inside. I'm like, oh my God, I don't want to fly. You're somewhere too.

Speaker 1 9:25

I would just be bathing in like taco meat.

Speaker 2 9:29

I just have one of those little snorkels that came out above the taco Me, ducking into a giant pool of ground beef.

Speaker 1 9:36

I'm like more shower cream.

Speaker 2 9:38

Oh my God.

Speaker 1 9:40

Very, very ladylike. You've been on a cruise I asked you yeah, like four seconds, ok, you need, I need to get you like some omega threes of some sort because, like, if you're not going to stop partaking in the dead, the assets or fish oil something's got to give me and, like your memories, got to get better. So you've never been on a cruise. It was four seconds ago.

Speaker 2 9:58

Would you ever go on a cruise?

Speaker 1 10:00

Not after reviewing this.

Speaker 2 10:02

I would do an Alaskan cruise.

Speaker 1 10:04

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What, because? What are you talking?

Speaker 2 10:09

about that's cruise, are you?

Speaker 1 10:10

fucking like.

Speaker 2 10:11

It's not in the winter.

Speaker 1 10:13

I think Alaskan's always in the winter. I have never, like once, thought Alaskan all me.

Speaker 2 10:21

Yeah, this cruise.

Speaker 1 10:23

Like what are you trying to reenact?

Speaker 2 10:24

Well, I don't think it's a carnival cruise. I don't think that I don't think that there's like an Alaskan cruise with a water slide. Oh, maybe there is.

Speaker 1 10:33

What do you fucking think it is then Like what's happening, what?

Speaker 2 10:35

are you?

Speaker 1 10:36

seeing that really moves Whales come to fucking Innisfil, I'll show you some not whales. Well, give me a couple more rounds at the Mexican restaurant.

Speaker 2 10:47

Jesus, get that out of here, oh my God. A quick cheer to Icon.

Speaker 1 10:54

So, oh God, I love them so much. You know this was a resort on the water. There was nightly entertainment, good food and drinks. What more could you ask for?

Speaker 2 11:03

Toilets.

Speaker 1 11:05

Not, not marks, what's the opposite of marks. I want that. So you know, everything was smooth sailing, so to speak. Yeah, oh, you're so proud of yourself.

Speaker 2 11:16

Thank you so much. I actually wrote that joke in here. I love you so much Good.

Speaker 1 11:19

So this was going to be an extra special trip for Stephanie Stevenson and Robert Malham, who had boarded the cruise because they had planned to marry at sea. Oh it was supposed to be picture perfect. Little did they know that there, for better or for worse, vows would be tested much sooner than they had anticipated.

Speaker 2 11:37

Can I derail for just one quick?

Speaker 1 11:39

second Absolutely not, it's it is about cruises.

Chaos on a Carnival Cruise

Speaker 2 11:43

I was on this YouTube rabbit hole the other day and I forget what the term is, but it's people who miss the cruise. So you mean, like when they've disembarked at like this and it's people running after it and people freaking out and having a meltdown. It is entertaining because you get like a two hour warning.

Speaker 1 12:03

Oh yeah, and apparently like I forget what I was listening to, something in regards to cruises, but they said that like Carnival specifically has a thing and they are like maybe it's a bit, we don't know if it's like an act that they do to kind of like sway people in one direction. But every single Carnival cruise that they had gone on that people like the crew were like OK, so, and so is late, like let's wait on them, and when they get back on, like everybody boo them. And then so like people were standing on all their decks and like when these like late comers everybody's like, yes, that's, that's what they do.

Speaker 1 12:36

But is it real, or is it that I'm like making a point?

Speaker 2 12:39

I think it's real. I think that you can be late and then there's, we're leaving.

Speaker 1 12:44

You're no longer going to be allowed on this ship, because the problem with that too is that you don't need a passport to go on a cruise right. So like what if you're stuck in Mexico? What, yeah, you don't. International waters man.

Speaker 2 12:57

That is fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 12:59

Yeah. So what if you're like I will get into it further into this story but like what if you're stuck in like fucking just Mexico, for example, and you don't have a passport to fly back into the States? So what they do you have to wait for another cruise.

Speaker 2 13:10

They go into your room and they give you a yellow or an orange envelope, so they go in your room to get all your documents and then they hand it to you. I don't know how they got it so quickly, but they were off the ship, they weren't coming back and I guess they went a lot of the people.

Speaker 1 13:28

So we will find out that 900 people in this story didn't have passports on the cruise.

Speaker 2 13:37

Oh.

Speaker 1 13:38

On the ship itself, so it wasn't like the captain could have given anybody anything.

Speaker 2 13:42

That's so weird, right? International waters if they, I don't you could marry a donkey, anything goes. I mean, you could fistfight a donkey.

Speaker 1 14:02

Toast, not a. Really let me up. So, like I said, smooth sailing. Yeah that was until the early morning on February the 10th. Oh and about 528 a voice came over the loudspeaker and they were saying Elphateen, oh no, and this kept repeating. Of course the guests did not know what that meant, but the crew understood that this was to alert them that there was a fire. Emergency Guests on the first and second floor would open their doors to find a thick black smoke filling the hallways.

Speaker 1 14:37

Oh naturally, the passengers started freaking out and of course, we're thinking the worst. Yes, and they started scavenging for life jackets for themselves, as well as their family and friends that they had either Met or traveled with yeah, bullshit.

Speaker 2 14:51

I'm sure they were just like, oh so dramatic with the paper so the smoke deck, which is essentially just a chimney.

Speaker 1 14:59

I had to look that up because I'm like the point of the smoke deck.

Speaker 2 15:02

What are we doing out there? Fucking making a roast, having a dirt.

Speaker 1 15:06

So it had black smoke billowing out of it and the guests started to fill up the evacuation stations. Okay, when a voice came over the loudspeaker and in a calming voice, with a beautiful accent, she said folks, there is no need to be at the muster stations. We do ask at this time that you proceed back to your state rooms, back to your cabins and, as I said, there is a situation in the engine control room, but it is under control. So we do ask that you make your way back to your cabins. At this time. There's no need to be waiting in the muster rooms.

Speaker 2 15:40

Thank you, and that just had a spoonful of sugar. Helps the medicine.

Speaker 1 15:45

I actually in my script, which is holy paper All right in front of my my quotes. I had to remind myself that I should be doing an English accent when I convey this. So that was it. Clearly, you know, there's just a few nervous folks on board who were freaking everyone else out, and this nice lady with the soothing accent had confirmed it. It's a simple boat fire, run of the mill come on, guys, like if you guys don't experience a few boat fires during your Carnival cruise, are you even cruising?

Speaker 2 16:20

also, do we know if that's a big number 3000 guests for a cruise?

Speaker 1 16:25

I'm gonna go ahead and say probably it is a big number Okay you know what? I don't really know the yeah, but that's a good. Like I said, the carnival Triumph was considered like they're the Queen Mary to the Queen Mary to before the Queen Mary to the Titanic. What, oh boy? What is the song that Gordon Lightfoot sings?

Speaker 2 16:45

about the Edmund Fitzgerald, then the admin Fitzgerald. It is honestly the worst. It's just. It's about a ship, it's like, and then they filled the ship with the gas on the lake and then it went down with the motor.

Speaker 1 17:06

Okay, but to be fair, like there's also songs out there that are like all songs, the sweat trips down my balls and skeet, skeet.

Speaker 2 17:12

I think that's shakes, it's a Shakespeare. No, that's music. Is that a fellow? Is that from a fellow? I forget, is he like?

Speaker 1 17:20

whatever it. Whatever it is, it's beautiful.

Speaker 2 17:22

I don't fucking care the sweat duff, drip down off my ladies Duff ball.

Speaker 1 17:28

I don't know why the ladies involved in this, where the female duff crawl. Ah, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet.

Speaker 2 17:37

So, mothafuck.

Speaker 1 17:39

It wasn't long after this announcement that everything was perfectly fine. We're good, everything's greedy. Go to the casino.

Speaker 2 17:46

Well yeah, fucking go eat some lobster go gamble, pretty sure the cruise ships on fire.

Speaker 1 17:52

The lights would start to flicker after that announcement had come over isn't that cool, though.

Speaker 2 17:57

Isn't that like a strobe effect? Isn't that mean night club? Is that does not correct me if I'm wrong. Does that I mean things about to pop off?

Speaker 1 18:04

Things did pop off. I'm a bit to tell you how they popped off. So they you know, lights flickered and then they went out entirely. The only lights that were lighting, the small white emergency lights in the hallway. As it would turn out, in the diesel room number six, a fuel leak had started and there had been a spark which ignited a fire, but thankfully there was an automatic fire suppressing system that had got the fire out by 6 0, 8 am. No, okay.

Speaker 2 18:35

They've a mongo. Yeah, I love sailing.

Speaker 1 18:38

However, in the fire short time it had managed to knock out most of the ship's power. Oh no and Disabled its propulsion system. Oh, this is it of the transmission and motor. Oh, oh do you know what a propulsion system is?

Speaker 2 18:56

I do, I don't, but I think I know a propulsion. I Think propulsion, I think it's just like to move you, yeah, like yeah when I asked him.

Speaker 1 19:09

I said what is a propulsion system? You know okay he looked at me like I was the stupid sort he's like um, like in what context? I don't even know what context. He's like it's got like the fucking transmission, it's got the, it's got like it doesn't propel you is how he said it to me and I was like, okay, don't fucking talk to me like I'm an idiot. Just explain to me what this stupid fucking system does.

Speaker 2 19:32

I Don't need your shit, right now I'm just trying to write a script. It just moves, yeah, so that's probably involves the propeller.

Speaker 1 19:39

I couldn't you know what you would have fucking said a way nicer to me than he did. He was like, um, like you had to like, brace himself on the wall.

Speaker 2 19:44

Um so dramatic like he's being blown over by you, are you? You're the mother of my children.

Speaker 1 19:49

You don't know what a fucking propulsion system is Fuck. So it consists of the transmission in the motor which Basically, since it was disabled, meant that this ship was not moving it would not propel the propeller.

Speaker 1 20:07

Not propelling, wow so, which now left this giant floating resort Just kind of drifting through the Gulf of Mexico aimlessly, mmm. But the crew had a plan two tugboats would be sent out to the nearest dock, which was in Progreso, mexico. It was estimated that they should dock by February the 12th, which is only a day longer than the guests had initially prepared to be on the ship. Unfortunately, though, guests would soon find out that the lights and Propeller thank you system were not their only worries.

Speaker 1 20:39

Oh, oh air conditioning, running water, septic systems and elevators were also done as well.

Speaker 2 20:45

Why, why, why put everything so close to this? The diesel room six. Spread out your infrastructure. One breaker.

Speaker 1 20:51

They're like we can't have everything. Every time I light up, I go and I blow dry my hair. Fucking. All this shit goes out. Who?

Speaker 2 20:57

wired this thing, they flash back as one guy. Guys, it's an easy system. It's all in one room. He's just one guy, marty, you did it. You did it again, marty.

Speaker 1 21:07

Come on problem solver. I don't ever foresee a system, marty, where this is gonna fail us so Again, the calming lady with a nice accent would come over the loudspeaker saying we're going to deliver some red bags to your cabins, to the bathroom, if you can, if you need to do a number two you know a poop Please do it in the red bags and drop it off at the bins in the corridor wait wait, and if you need to do a number one, that's a we please do it in the shower.

Speaker 1 21:39

Thank you, folks, and I'll be back with any more updated info.

Speaker 2 21:44

Okay, so We's are in the shower?

Speaker 1 21:48

Yeah, why do you look abused?

Speaker 2 21:50

Well, I think first of all it should be Dudes weeing over the side of the boat right off the dead. It's on the first deck, though we're not peeing from the sixth story balcony just on to everyone.

Speaker 1 22:05

No, well, you know what? That's kind of what happens, anyways. But here's the thing I think that if you're telling anybody to get that close to the railing, you're kind of a little bit liable if something happens. You know if you're insisting that a dude pisses over the side of the boat and he Tophels on it over. That's kind of your fault.

Speaker 2 22:24

I mean, don't you want yet? True, yeah, but wouldn't you want to ease up on the old plumbing system?

Speaker 1 22:30

I mean you probably would but I think they've got enough legal problems on their hands after all this happened that they're like old fucking, you know. And Johnny one legs that fucking toppled over the side when he was trying to pee.

Speaker 2 22:41

We really don't need that guy on our fucking conscious to. One leg. So, can't poo in a shower, obviously right. No, I mean like it. I'm sure it's happened in the history of the world, but like okay, you know what boots to the ground, get upstairs. I would, but I you know what it's funny just forgot here. I pooed in the sink. I can't. I already went. Women that are here. I.

Speaker 1 23:11

This is. I just like to push the bounds. When they're not here, there's no reason for it. The plumbing here's fine. So, like this nice lady said, she'd be back with any updated information at this time.

Speaker 2 23:26

One thing in your sack? Have you pooped in your? Oh, probably ruined Christmas. I can't see Santa.

Speaker 1 23:32

It brings you PTSD with a red sack all you think you're getting you haven't even like, we haven't even grazed the surface of how awful this is. So at the time that the announcement went out, the toilets were already filled to the rim. Why are people?

Speaker 2 23:44

shitting so much on vacation. They're eating. And Jesus Christ, what do you eat? The buffet, not the good shit. Fuck. Oh, people are Bows my face. People are fucking disgusting.

Speaker 1 24:09

So much worse than this to you. Have any? You don't even know plates. So many plates, just so much play wild. Oh my god, just macaroni and cheese, like for fucking get it.

Speaker 2 24:22

I bet the like oh my god, begin the extra day, load up on the food. There's no way this is gonna come around to bite us in the well, nobody's biting you in anything.

Speaker 1 24:30

I'll tell you that right now.

Speaker 2 24:33

We need to do more red bags.

Speaker 1 24:36

Like and would you, as a human being, when they're delivering the red bags, are you like I'm gonna need more than four? Like, or do you just like you know? Okay, like I'm gonna be dainty about it, I'll just what kind of bags are they, are they? Biohazard red bags. So they're like I would say they're about the size of like a kitchen garbage.

Speaker 2 24:57

Oh, what you need more than you listen. If you need more than, Scooping. For kitchen catchers Shit. I don't think you should have been able to go on a cruise. How are you medically cleared To go on a cruise? Would need to do expel your body weight in a day.

Speaker 1 25:20

What if you have? What if you have multiple people in your room?

Speaker 2 25:24

Well, listen, we're all. Everybody get ready Cuz, just like when the girls get away, we're all syncing up our cycles. We're all gonna get on the same poop.

Speaker 1 25:34

Same bag? Yeah, no, for fucking good.

Speaker 2 25:36

You're not sharing a bag. I'm going over, you're not pooping in the same bag?

Speaker 1 25:40

I will not. There's not a person hanging. There is not a person on this planet earth that I would share a poop.

Speaker 2 25:47

You're hanging your butt over.

Speaker 1 25:49

No, I'm jumping over. Oh, I thought I'm ending it all, yeah that's all takes it's a slippery slope for me one shared poop bag and I'm out of here.

Speaker 2 26:01

And then Did they advise you, like it is, one person squat and the other holds the bag, or do you put it in the garbage? Can? Imagine the newlyweds oh, or that went. Wait, when did they propose? Is he proposed yet?

Speaker 1 26:19

with the bag.

Speaker 2 26:21

Listen, will you Listen? Will you make me happy as well? Okay, oh my god, he definitely held her bag, for, honestly, they're newlyweds.

Cruise Ship Horror

Speaker 1 26:34

They just can't make eye contact afterwards. So, Like I said, things are flowing over. People were peeing in the showers and the pipes are already clogged, so every time the ship tilted one way or another, raw sewage. That's hysterical. It would just spill out all over the floor and it began leaking through some of the ceilings into the cabins below oh my god, like a Stephen King movie.

Speaker 1 27:04

And there's no air conditioning. Oh, that's a hot shit is hot through water, yeah, so you know, the temperatures were high and the smells were so bad it was literally making people sick to their stomach.

Speaker 2 27:17

Oh my god, what did they do with the barf? Is the pool still open?

Speaker 1 27:22

oh my god no.

Speaker 2 27:24

What is still open nothing the buffet.

Speaker 1 27:28

Well, no they can't cook anything. We will get into what they were eating later and it's fucking horrendous. Oh god so now, with all the human waste dripping into their cabins? Yeah one woman stated that her husband was lying on the bed when the ceiling concaved and all of the oh my god, that is so unfortunate and you think it's the funniest thing you've ever heard that is the greatest.

Speaker 2 28:02

Oh, there's a very a very thin line between comedy and tragedy and picturing a guy laying in bed and just a big giant shit blister and like loads on them shit blister. Look at this day. Get any fucking words.

Speaker 1 28:26

I told you not to test it, george.

Speaker 2 28:29

We had to go on a fucking cruise.

Speaker 1 28:30

We couldn't go to my brother's cabin, so I don't know why it's worse than when it's a stranger. Like I don't really want somebody knowing that I know, like if it was like A parent or something. Do I want their shit on me more than they want to complete strangers?

Speaker 2 28:44

Oh, that is a good question. I Want stranger poo. I think I don't want to know the poo, I don't want to know the bum from which the poo Is sending from when booking the trip I'm like, can I have some, some nice, healthy vegans atop of me?

Speaker 1 29:01

Like I don't want that.

Speaker 2 29:02

like nacho cheese and beer, no fella yeah, like you can fucking go somewhere else and yeah, you want like a vegan cruise.

Speaker 1 29:10

Yeah, like a nice Cruise where I'm the only one eating the boat tips is bunch of rocks rolling up. It's like a rock tumbler. So Guess improvised and they began dragging their mattresses out onto the deck and using the sheets to shield themselves from the sun, and the media dubbed this tent city.

Speaker 2 29:33

Wait, you've probably seen pictures of this. They dragged their mattresses.

Speaker 1 29:37

Outside. Why? Because there was shit coming through the ceilings.

Speaker 2 29:40

What do you mean? Why? Oh right, okay, yeah, not only so they could lay down.

Speaker 1 29:44

They were in this stifle. It was like picture at the hottest day of the year. You're sitting inside of a what are they called?

Speaker 2 29:52

pool deck, like in the?

Speaker 1 29:54

Sleep oh right and you don't want the blistering sundown on you, right? So like they would take their mattresses outside and then they'd like pin up their their blankets so that they weren't completely exposed to the sun. Can you imagine Like thirty two hundred people? It's insane.

Speaker 2 30:13

I I'd, yeah, definitely rather be on the Titanic. No, I Did you pick him, or at least a sub, to explore it.

Speaker 1 30:21

Well, that's you wanted this fucking Freezing cold cruise. So yeah, I guess you would pick the. Titanic but you know, they would go into Tant City and helicopters were actually able to like Come. They had to dismantle tent city and then helicopters would drop in and they would give them some bits of food and they would give them like portable Generators so that like people could at least charge their phones.

Speaker 2 30:48

Like sure the cruise line loved that. Let's maybe not get them with the photos.

Speaker 1 30:54

You should see some of the pictures, though. It's just like a picture of like 20 people standing around like one little charger, and I think hey, helicopter, take one of us with you every time you land, you would you're doing here? But you know, after a certain amount of time, it was said that not only was Carnival going to be refunding the trip, they would also pay for their travel from Progresso Mexico to wherever they lived.

Speaker 1 31:19

They would also grant them a coupon that did not expire. I have it on good authority that carnival has been completely taken over and they're no longer honoring those coupons. Yes, that's a good call but so, and then they had this coupon for another cruise through carnival, which now, apparently, they're not honoring. But, and just to sweeten the pot, like on top of all that imagine.

Speaker 2 31:44

Go to the Italy one, where the thing flipped.

Speaker 1 31:50

What was that when it was called? The cruise started with a C2, the Concordia, concordia, yeah, that's right. 32 people died, I think. Oh.

Speaker 2 31:59

I didn't know. People died.

Speaker 1 32:01

Captain fucking bailed, he was trying to impress a friend or something. It wasn't a friend. Oh mistress, oh Captain it's like you guys have each other's backs. Even if you don't even know it, you're like it was just his friend. Oh, that was covering for yeah, you were covering for the fucking Italian captain. This, it was his friend. It's a big deal, it's just a friend.

Speaker 2 32:21

Yeah, just bro, you don't know where she goes, to a different school.

Speaker 1 32:26

So you know, on top of all that, just giving them the coupon and yeah. They would also give them $500, to be the cherry on top, which seems like a fucking arbitrary amount to me.

Speaker 2 32:34

You know what it's like. I mean, it doesn't it's a lot of money it really is but it's a very insulting amount of money, yeah.

Speaker 1 32:43

Well, you got to think about how much they were out. But then when we learned how much they put in to like revamp the ship, it's like they had a lot of money to put out.

Speaker 2 32:53

Yeah, so what they were?

Speaker 1 32:54

they were offering most things that passengers had bought on board, like if you had to pay for your food or whatever. They were compensating that. They were compensating the trip, they were giving you the free coupon, they were getting you flown back to the States and they were giving you $500. So that is what, and it was kind of like so that you wouldn't go and like file a lawsuit against them.

Speaker 2 33:14

Right yeah.

Speaker 1 33:16

But this seemed, at least for the time being, to be a bit of a breath of fresh air. They kind of the passengers had a new zest to them, let's say. And what better way to celebrate than by offering the 3,200 people on board free, unlimited alcohol?

Speaker 2 33:34

Okay, wait, wait, no, no, no, listen, listen.

Speaker 1 33:37

If there's one thing that I personally always say, is when there's no plumbing, no AC and you have thousands of people nearing their breaking point, bring on unlimited booze.

Speaker 2 33:47

Wow.

Speaker 1 33:48

What could go wrong?

Speaker 2 33:49

So this is they're still okay. So they've gotten the offers. This is all part of the Jesus.

Speaker 1 33:55

Get in there.

Speaker 2 33:56

I mean okay.

Speaker 1 33:57

Can I get you a double fucking white Russian so that you have that extra milky? Oh oh sorry, the milk's gone bad. I hope your stomach's fine.

Speaker 2 34:04

Yeah, can I get a chunky white Russian? Hey, cool. Okay, what is this? Is this cottage cheese and rye? No, actually it's a white Russian. Give me one second. Ehh, ehh.

Speaker 1 34:17

So you know what could possibly go wrong.

Speaker 2 34:19

I bet you people were like come on, man, I can't get a fucking beer, my room is shit, I just want a beer. All right, well, If you literally shit, it's just full of poop.

Speaker 1 34:27

There's poop on the walls.

Speaker 2 34:28

There's poop on the walls.

Speaker 1 34:30

Chaos.

Speaker 2 34:31

Oh man.

Speaker 1 34:32

So, apparently, whoever it was that was in charge of making the decision felt the same as me, because that's exactly what they did.

Speaker 2 34:40

Nice.

Speaker 1 34:41

Now, as unforeseeable as this may have been, this did not go well.

Speaker 2 34:47

Interesting.

Speaker 1 34:48

Not only was there raw sewage issues enhanced, you know, mainly a lot more poop involvement, lots of pee-pee and a lot of barfing. And I won't elaborate on that because you know, I think it's outside of our realm, of our imagination, what that could have possibly been like to see or smell, or Well, beer shits is also a thing when you drink too much draft.

Speaker 2 35:15

So I got to think again one for the Titanic, for this guy, ha, ha, ha oh.

Speaker 1 35:25

Like I said before, you can only imagine that poor newlywed couples still being cute with each other to suddenly holding open red biohazard bags to the other one to shit in. Oh my God, and I would With this bag. I mean, would Like, I would just like to get eyes on those people, like let's just find out if they're still okay.

Speaker 2 35:43

Oh, you know what I mean. Yes, are they still together?

Speaker 1 35:46

Are they still together? Like? Who else are you gonna know that well?

Speaker 2 35:49

Although you know what, and then what a great way to just trial by fire Like now, like that one the honeymoon is now like you're married for 20 years, Like you immediately get accelerated into.

Speaker 1 36:00

Like you, only get prettier every day.

Speaker 2 36:01

You're like oh, you didn't have diarrhea all over my hands today as I held up in a bag for you, that's nice. Oh, I know you can't really aim, but I'm really getting drawn in a bad care.

Speaker 1 36:14

That's so disgusting. Oh my God, what is happening to this podcast? This is a family show. It is.

Speaker 2 36:21

What's the Manson family? What fucking sheep family.

Cruise Ship Ordeal and Negligence

Speaker 1 36:26

What's with this? It's TGI Fridays for crazy sake. So now on Tuesday, which was supposed to be the day that they were docking in Mexico, they were on day three of no Power and the two tugboats were just arriving. Oh my God, yeah. Well, you know, I first heard about the tugboats and I didn't think that that sounded very promising.

Speaker 2 36:49

But what?

Speaker 1 36:49

other options do you have?

Speaker 2 36:51

Yeah, the term tug and boat don't really elicit speed.

Speaker 1 36:54

I think that's mainly because of like, wasn't I like the little tugboat who could? Yeah, but by this time the crews had drifted 90 miles north of where they were initially when they planned to dock in Mexico, and it also was determined that they had 900 passengers on board that did not travel or have a passport, and that was gonna make flying out of Mexico difficult. So the crew made the decision to dock in Mobile, alabama. They did end up having to remove two passengers for emergency reasons.

Speaker 2 37:27

That's it.

Speaker 1 37:28

Rachel Aldered was late for her dialysis and she had to be dropped by rope, ladder into a small coast guard boat and taken to shore. And there was also another guest who was having stroke symptoms and he had to be removed as well.

Speaker 2 37:43

Did they even check if that lady had kidney issues or she was just like I got dialysis. I better get going here, guys, listen.

Speaker 1 37:51

I wrote here. To be perfectly honest, I'm shocked there wasn't hundreds of people every day faking emergencies, because I cannot in full confidence say that I'm a good enough person to not pretend that I had something horrific.

Speaker 2 38:03

Yeah, and I don't know if it I feel like it's half my face weird.

Speaker 1 38:07

I think I'm stroking out. I just do all my makeup really droopy on one side. Seriously, though, I can't fathom they must've really had a good screening process if only two people out of 3,200 were emergency removed Because you gotta think people aren't good enough to just go by the honor system when they're just surrounded by other people's shit.

Speaker 2 38:31

Get me the fuck off of this ship. Like it's just shocking that they just kept people on it for so long. Like that's kidnapping.

Speaker 1 38:38

It's kidnapping, involuntary confinement, for sure. So at this point too clearly, food was scarce and oh no I had seen in my research a few people saying that they were purposely not eating because they were so horrified about pooping in the bio-wounder bed.

Speaker 2 38:54

Yes, thank you. That is a good neighbor. All right, that's who I want on my team.

Speaker 1 39:00

Yes, thank, you See, that's why I said vegans are already used to not eating them. That's true.

Speaker 2 39:06

Oh, but it wouldn't shut the fuck up. You know what? Give me the meat eaters on the Titanic any day, oh my God So-, and of course you know, with no power.

Speaker 1 39:15

they weren't exactly eating these beautiful, well-cooked buffet meals that they had enjoyed the first couple days. Guests would later say that they would wait in line for sometimes over three hours just to get an onion and cucumber sandwich.

Speaker 2 39:27

Oh, like what is this? Like a fake story that my mom talks about growing up and how hard life was when she was my age.

Speaker 1 39:35

Okay, I don't think it's your mom, I think it's actually Germans. They're like this is what? Crumpets with you If you're not a good kid.

Speaker 2 39:44

Have you been a bish-nickel or impish?

Speaker 1 39:47

So you know they would say that if you tried to get multiple sandwiches, this is what other guests would say that you know if you're trying to bring back sandwiches to like your room, but members of the line would also, you know, be right you and shame you for trying to get your extra onions and cucumbers, oh God. So by 10pm on Thursday, february the 14th.

Speaker 1 40:12

Valentine's Day the cruise ship docked at Mobile Alabama. It was the largest ship to ever attempt to dock there. But the passengers did not care. As they unloaded, they would kiss the ground, they would run, crying into the arms of loved ones who had come to meet them. They had physically survived the ordeal.

Speaker 2 40:32

Oh Jesus.

Speaker 1 40:33

But the, you know, triumphs. Reign of terror was not entirely orber. After it docked, it somehow managed to break free and it then floated into a tethered dredge, pinning a tugboat between the ship and the dredge. This would result in the death of what? Yeah, one person aboard the tugboat and would seriously injure another.

Speaker 2 40:55

No shit yes so.

Speaker 1 40:58

Ew, lots of shit actually. Oh, fine shit, co-piece of massive shit. So, after an investigation was done, it would conclude that negligence was the root of the problem. Hmm, in two years it had had nine incidents regarding fuel leaks. In January of that same year that this took place, in 2013, carnival had given all ships two months to install spray shields in their diesel rooms and the triumph had failed to comply, and it was actually deemed out of compliance with safety laws of the sea.

Speaker 2 41:31

And yet still assholes.

Speaker 1 41:34

I said here which is mind blowing to me that could be overlooked, like when it comes to thousands of people boarding a cruise ship. A restaurant is out of compliance with the health board standards and they get shut down until they fix it you know what I mean. And they're only accommodating. Like what? Like 60 people a night yeah.

Speaker 1 41:52

I can't understand how this was overlooked. If anyone listening understands these things, please send us a DM so that we can. I just think it's insanity. The fuel hose that had started the fire in diesel room six was located underneath deck plates, and it was thought that the deck plates would be sufficient to shield the fuel spray, but that was not the case. Carnival would spend $150 million on cleaning the ship. What, oh my?

Speaker 2 42:17

God.

Speaker 1 42:18

Yuck a doodle, dandy what?

Speaker 2 42:19

do you just like has Matt? You have to write and just start just going in and cleaning from top to bottom.

Speaker 1 42:26

Think about like the walls, the pipes are just fucking clogged to all.

Speaker 2 42:31

Plunger right away.

Speaker 1 42:33

Yeah, that should do the trick. That should do the trick.

Speaker 2 42:36

Is there not a? Am I just? I just figured there's a valve that just empties it into the ocean, is that not? Did that happen to like Dave Matthews band? I think it was a plane or no, it was a tour bus or something.

Speaker 1 42:50

A tour bus that they were just coasting along the ocean.

Speaker 2 42:53

No, they were driving over a bridge and they something happened. They threw the shit tank out or something that you fell on a boat. That can't be right. I don't know what the story is there.

Speaker 1 43:04

Sounds like a fucking fever dream to me. Yeah, that's how it was. Like I said, you know the the fuel hose wasn't protected by these deck plates. Carnival would spend $150 million cleaning the ship. To clean it, I can only imagine as well they repaired it and it was able to resume service four months after this horrific ordeal, with its new name, Carnival sunrise.

Speaker 2 43:26

The SSM modium the sunrise, yeah.

Speaker 1 43:31

So in 2019, carnival did a $300 million overhaul of their entire fleet of ships.

Speaker 2 43:39

Which doesn't sound like fucking dick. All when it costs a hundred, a third of that, to clean one ship.

Speaker 1 43:46

Yeah, and they're also giving everybody $500. That almost died from fucking biohazard exposure, so can you die from that?

Speaker 2 43:53

I guess you can right, it is toxic.

Speaker 1 43:55

I will say that before I went on maternity leave I worked for the same denturist that I work for now, just at a different office, and we had an older gentleman come in and he had some sort of a bacterial infection and he unfortunately entered the practice and he was. He had an accident and I was very pregnant at the time and I went and got, like you know, all these cleaning products and I started to clean it because we had carpets, which makes fucking zero sense. But I started to clean it and I did get super sick with like flu, like symptoms, like a stomach.

Speaker 1 44:33

Yeah, so I could have been, because I was pregnant and I was also using a bunch of chemicals to clean it up.

Speaker 2 44:38

Oh yeah, true, true, true, true. You might explain why.

Speaker 1 44:40

Max has a demon on wheels. Man, you're Max, but yeah, so yeah, I can imagine being exposed to multiple people's raw suit, which is probably not the best. Oh man, yeah.

Speaker 2 44:53

Oh.

Speaker 1 44:53

You know, even with all of the benefits that they tried to give these people, a lot of people still did end up filing lawsuits. And the fine print of their tickets it states that quote if the performance of the proposed voyage is hindered or prevented by breakdown of the vessel, carnival may cancel the proposed voyage without any liability to refund passage money or fares paid in advance. Now, basically that would be their defense as a whole. They released a statement that said that Carnival does not on their ticket. They do not. They make absolutely no guarantees for safe passage, a seaworthy vessel adequate, adequate and wholesome foods and sanitary and safe living conditions.

Speaker 2 45:40

The lawyer for this company went on record in a court case and said we make a note. I hope Okay, I'm listening.

Speaker 1 45:49

Okay, so how much?

Speaker 2 45:51

Oh my God, a trillion.

Speaker 1 45:55

How much money do you think Carnival had to pay out to passengers in lawsuits?

Speaker 2 46:01

How many feet? 3000? I don't know, 500, I'm going to say a half a billion. I can say $500 million. Carnival had to pay 500 million.

Speaker 1 46:13

Carnival paid out a total amount of $118,500 to 27 passengers Not even $200,000.

Speaker 2 46:23

Not even $150,000. What a fucking world we're living in.

Speaker 1 46:28

And that was only if the passengers had suffered health problems that directly were related to the issues on the parade.

Speaker 2 46:34

What's that? What's the health problems? That was a covered in excrement in the dad laying on the bed.

Speaker 1 46:42

So that is the disgusting case of the Carnival Triumph and the poop cruise from hell, and if anyone listening has ever been on the Carnival sunrise, please DM me because I have questions.

Speaker 2 46:53

Like a question about what's it like being on a cruise?

Speaker 1 46:56

Yeah, first and foremost, how is the food Do?

Speaker 2 46:59

you realize you're on a cruise. Do you feel the ship is moving or no?

Speaker 1 47:02

Do the walls smell like poop?

Speaker 2 47:04

Yeah, does the poop smell ever go away?

Speaker 1 47:11

Like what? How much does a $150 million deep clean get me, is it?

Speaker 2 47:16

like that person has a cat that swears, their house doesn't smell and then, like everybody at Carnival Cruise is like no, come in, our ship doesn't smell. I don't know where the cat is, but there is a cat.

Speaker 1 47:28

I don't know where the biohazard diarrhea is, but there is biohazard diarrhea.

Speaker 2 47:33

I can tell you the room that that guy should have pants in, but I can tell you that it happened.

Speaker 1 47:40

Someone had the shrimp.

Discussion About Ship's Poop Deck

Speaker 2 47:41

Oh my goodness, Okay, you're gross, oh man I was just trying to tell a nice lighthearted story.

Speaker 1 47:46

Now here we are talking about the worst of the worst.

Speaker 2 47:50

Oh man, you know there's a poop deck on a ship, right we're falling right past.

Speaker 1 47:56

It's full. Yeah, it's full.

Speaker 2 47:59

I think all the decks are poop decks the whole ship was a poop deck at that point. Oh, I love it All right. Well, until next time, guys, maybe.

Speaker 1 48:07

I'll do some more horrific true crime next time and we can steer away from the poop stuff. Yeah, you're like a classy looking lady.

Speaker 2 48:13

Your personality doesn't match your image and your project.

Speaker 1 48:18

I'm like bubbles from the trailer. You are.

Speaker 2 48:22

That's your inner. Your inner demon is bubbles.

Speaker 1 48:26

Hey guys, you want to talk about poop.

Speaker 2 48:28

There's a fucking ship there with poop.

Speaker 1 48:32

All right, okay, bye, bye.