"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
"The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast" Starring Dom L'Amour
From Big Booty Judy to Gardening Guru
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Garden wisdom, friendship, and life's little surprises bloom in this delightful conversation between Dom L'Amour and his dear friend Mattie Jo "MJ" Graham. What begins with a quirky gardening tip about lime pellets for award-winning eggplants quickly blossoms into a wide-ranging exploration of how we connect to our food, our heritage, and each other.
MJ, once known as "Big Booty Judy" during her Buffalo Wild Wings days, has transformed into "Gardening Judy" with an elaborate front yard garden that's become the talk of Cape Girardeau, Missouri. Her raised beds, archways, and chicken coop represent more than just a hobby—they're a reclamation of heritage and a statement about sustainable living. Meanwhile, Dom shares how continuing his grandmother's garden after her passing became both a tribute and a personal revolution in how he thinks about food.
The pair trade gardening hacks and mishaps with equal enthusiasm—from MJ's ingenious in-garden vermicomposting system to hilariously failed attempts at deterring wildlife with various types of urine (yes, really). Their conversation reveals how gardening creates unexpected connections: between chickens and Japanese beetles, between seasonal growing and superior flavor, between past generations and present moments. When MJ confesses to crocheting a special gift inspired by Dom's wedding song, we witness how the seeds of friendship continue to flourish even as their lives take different paths.
Beyond the soil and seeds, this episode digs into deeper questions about modern convenience versus meaningful effort. Why does a sun-warmed tomato taste so much better than store-bought? What happens when we slow down to mill our own flour or make pasta by hand? Why are we so quick to accept convenience over quality? As Dom and MJ riff on everything from whale vomit in cologne to yoga benefits, their genuine affection and comfortable banter remind us that the best relationships, like the best gardens, thrive with a mixture of care, laughter, and occasional surprises.
Ready to plant some new ideas in your life? Hit subscribe and join the conversation about how reconnecting with our food might just help us reconnect with ourselves and each other.
Opening quote: Alice Morse Earle, 1851-1911, American historian and author of Old Time Gardens, Newly Set Forth
Opening and Closing Theme song: Produced by Dom L'Amour
Transition Music from Mad Chops Vol. 1 and Mad Chops Vol. 2 by Mad Keys
and
from Piano Soul Vol.1(Loop Pack) by The Modern Producers Team
Featured song: "This Guys in Love With You" Covered by Dom L'Amour and The Andrews at Lemon in Chicago.
Cover art by Studio Mania: Custom Art @studiomania99
Please subscribe to the podcast, and give us a good rating. 5 stars please and thank you. Follow me on @dom_lamour on Instagram. Or at
Gardening Tips and Old Friendships
Speaker 1I'm guessing it's really important. If probably you're doing your garden in ground, maybe, I don't know Changes the pH of the soil to something a little more friendly.
Speaker 3Yeah, that's what it sounds like.
Speaker 1I don't know.
Speaker 3It's only for his eggplants, his award-winning eggplants.
Speaker 1Well, that's the only thing he said. He entered in the fair. He didn't talk about his other vegetables.
Speaker 3I hope you know that, no matter where this conversation goes, I'm going to keep the entrance just like this. This is how it's going to start, just so people can hear a little bit of how you and I conversate these days. We used to be cool, we used to be so cool.
Speaker 1When I worked at Buffalo they called me Big Booty Judy, and now I'm Gardening Judy.
Speaker 3Ladies and gentlemen, and anyone else who is here, my name is Dom LaMoure and you are listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. On today's episode, I speak with my ride or die. Maddie Jo, aka MJ Graham, about life in a small town of Cape Girardeau, Missouri. Gardening, baking and so much more. Have the interest of a garden is the constant exercise of the imagination. You are always living three, or indeed six months hence. To be content with the present and not striving about the future is fatal. Just all I ask is not to eat while we talk does somebody do that?
Speaker 1my grandfather ate a whole plate of chicken wings during our podcast grandfather ate a whole plate of chicken wings I like that about him actually, if I'm gonna be honest with you, absolute true statement before we do anything too serious.
Speaker 3I kind of wanted to play a game, since pretty much everything you said was about gardening and about home stuff.
Speaker 1And being old.
Speaker 3Yeah, and being old, I found the jeopardy. That is just about gardening.
Speaker 1Not probably. I don't do it right probably we're going to see how bad we are at this. How bad we do.
Speaker 3And if we do bad after five questions, we'll just stop.
Speaker 1Did I tell you what the old man told me? I feel like I have to share this gardening tip. It was an old man. He said his eggplant wins first place at the Altenburg Fair every year. Altenburg, so you know. He said lime it.
Speaker 3Hold up like put lime juice on it.
Speaker 1No, Google garden lime pellets. That's his secret. He learned it from the Germans. They brought it over from Germany when they settled in Altenburg. He puts that in his garden every year.
Speaker 3Fast acting lime. What is this?
Speaker 1It's actually, it's a garden compound, it's lime, I don't know, man, I don't know.
Speaker 3I'm asking Gemini, all right, it's created with limestone rock.
Speaker 1That makes sense.
Speaker 3It's crushed into a powder Okay, so it's powdered limestone. Yeah, he told me get pelletized lime, yeah, yeah, yeah, so it's pellets of limestone, I wonder. All right, so it adds pH of acid, okay, okay. And then it's alkaline, and okay.
Speaker 1Easier to apply. I'm guessing it's really important. If, probably, you're doing your garden in ground, maybe, I don't know Changes the pH of the soil to something a little more friendly yeah, that's what it sounds like and it's for that it's only for his eggplants, his award-winning eggplants, that's what well, that's the only thing he said. He entered in the fair. Uh, he didn't talked about his other vegetables.
Speaker 3So I hope you know that, no matter where this conversation goes, I'm going to keep the entrance just like this. This is how it's going to start, just so people can hear a little bit of how you and I conversate these days. We used to be cool, we used to be so cool.
Speaker 1When I worked at Buffalo. They called me big booty Judy when. I worked at. Buffalo. They called me Big Booty Judy, and now I'm Gardening.
Speaker 3Judy, I did not know. They used to call you Big Booty Judy.
Speaker 1It was on my jersey.
Speaker 3It was on your jersey too. It wasn't just like a nickname, it was like you were certified.
Speaker 1Certified Big Booty Judy. Like to the point where when I started at Best Buy, some of the warehouse guys used to come to Buffalo, you know, on Friday nights after inventory. When I started there, several of them thought my name was actually Judy and they're like looking at the schedule and they're like who the hell is Maddie Jo? And I said I am what, judy? And I'm like, well, do you see a Judy on that schedule?
Speaker 3Alright, alright, alright, alright. This is how we're gonna do this, that's certifiable.
Speaker 1You can ask Jessica Blankenship. Just ask her what did they call MJ at Buffalo buffalo?
Speaker 3and she will say oh, big booty, judy that just cracks me up because you know we grew up calling girls big booty judy, usually like because that was something from a movie that I grew up watching.
Speaker 1It just so well down, here's what I need you to think about. I worked with a lot of beautiful black men. Yeah, at buffalo. I'm pretty sure none of the white folk came up with that.
Speaker 3Oh my God, that's incredible. All right, so today's conversation is going to be very lax, Nothing too crazy. Something I only think I really talk about too much on the pod is my grandmother died. She had a garden at the house and I grew up my little brother, John, literally grew up helping my grandma pick weeds in the garden. She would always say, if you see this little green, pick it. And that was his little thing he did when he was a toddler. That kept him outside and running around and all of us somewhat helped. And when she died no one else gardened in the family. Everyone else was lazy, didn't care. I was like I'm going to do it, and then I did it and everyone was trying to eat my tomatoes and eat my greens. I was just like this is infuriating. No love, no one wants to help, but everybody wants to enjoy the work that I put in.
Speaker 1I picked a big old basket of greens you want to hear the saddest thing and I went outside and I threw it on the ground for the chickens.
Speaker 3All the greens.
Speaker 1A bunch of them.
Speaker 3Why.
Speaker 1That's why I planted them.
Speaker 3Oh, that's the thing, though. You're supposed to do certain things for the land too. You're not just supposed to take it all. You're supposed to save some for the animals. You're supposed to put this I get that. I'm not upset about it. That's what it's all about.
From Big Booty Judy to Gardening Judy
Speaker 1But also come on, dude. Was it mustard greens, turnip greens or collard greens? Well, I've got collard greens. I got kale out there that I take. I don't like kale, I only planted it for the chickens, really.
Speaker 3Yeah, I had the seeds.
Speaker 1I have a two-year limit with seeds myself. At the, the two year mark. I'm planting it, whether I eat it or not. Yeah that makes sense. Somebody's going to eat it, but all right.
Speaker 3So do you find putting different types of seeds in the ground helps you kind of get better with planting other stuff? You're like, oh, I had a good trick that I did with this that might work with this.
Speaker 1Yeah, absolutely this, yeah, absolutely. There's so many things that I don't think about trying until you do it, or you don't think that you could grow until you do it. Some stuff seems really hard and it just it's not.
Speaker 3I get that.
Speaker 1Now your brassicas. Yeah, those are hard, and you're going to fight the cabbage moths every year.
Speaker 3Or the beetles that get on the green beans. Japanese beetles it's like we're murdering so many bugs every year because of that.
Speaker 1You want to hear another crazy thing? I do. I love Japanese beetles, and here's why.
Speaker 3Why.
Speaker 1There's these trap bags that you can set up and they fly right in. And you know what I get to do with those trap bags. Then I dump them out over a tub of water and the chickens eat them.
Speaker 3Oh, that's nice and they like them.
Speaker 1Yeah, not only do they like them, but that's some of the best stuff. They don't get that kind of foraging in a run like mine, so I just take the bugs back to them.
Speaker 3I'm about to say we don't have any chickens to throw bugs at. That'd be pretty solid. Yeah, that's solid. Oh, and those eggs you gave us was so good when we got back from Italy. I've been making homemade pasta and stuff and having fresh eggs for pasta is ideal. It makes me consider I don't think I could ever do the lifestyle of having chickens at the house, but it makes me consider it every time.
Speaker 1Well, honestly, having roosters would be a problem maybe.
Speaker 3Oh yeah.
Speaker 1But chickens, the chickens are easy. I mean, they'll eat a lot of your scraps. They'll eat your garden pests. Like I said, I'm going to put traps up front near my garden, catch the bugs, take them back to the back and feed them to my chickens.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1It's just like this beautiful little like relationship in the garden and I think the more you see that and like take advantage of those things, the better off your garden is.
Speaker 3I love this. I love that this is where we've become.
Speaker 1Did I tell you about the weird thing that I did?
Speaker 3What.
Speaker 1Weird garden thing.
Speaker 3Why are you doing the eyebrows dude?
Speaker 1It's because it's good. It's really good, and I think you're going to say, yes, that's weird, but yes, that's a really great idea.
Speaker 3Yeah so.
Speaker 1I went and got terracotta pots, pretty good size ones, with the like plate right that comes with it. Drilled holes in it after soaking it for over 24 hours. Drilled holes all over it with a bit like a masonry bit, yeah, and then I buried it, okay, and then I basically everything that you would do to like compost stick it in there like your browns your your paper, your leaves your a little bit of your dirt and then your food scraps and it becomes like an in garden bed worm.
Speaker 1Verma posting is what it's called so you okay.
Speaker 3So instead of just composting like in the normal compost, because we got like a little one that you spin around you just put it in the actual plot well, yeah, because I have raised beds yeah I don't have a lot of space to do a spinning one.
Speaker 1I thought about it and I got this idea to do them in each of the beds. The other reason I wanted to actually do it this way and do Verma posting because it's also like worm farming essentially is what you're doing Because BJ has been fishing a lot.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1So he can literally just go to the place where they actually are being housed and like, take them, and then they also make the beautiful worm castings. And that's already right in my garden beds, but you know I have raised beds so it's not in ground. That's why I chose to do the like an in bed firma posting thing to make sure I got worms into the upper part.
Speaker 3I'll be interested because, like I said, we do the community garden. It wouldn't be convenient to do like kind of like that. That would be something at the house. That'd be more convenient because the compost is really easy. I just take everything out every other day or whenever we need it and roll it, and then, when it's time to use, we just, you know, throw it in a wheelbarrow and use it around the gardens in the house instead of taking it to the community garden. So most of the stuff at home. We don't really do too many vegetables at home. We got a couple of pots of tomatoes this year, but usually we don't do that. We usually have all the vegetables at the community garden and then we put the stuff in the ground and I cross my fingers every year that we'll get some volunteer plants. But we never get volunteer plants. I don't feel like unless Adrian has seen something I haven't but I don't feel like we get anything from our compost that just is good for the soil.
Speaker 1I had some stuff reseed itself. I guess it's not really a volunteer plant but surprisingly enough my cilantro reseeded, which is just a terrible pain in the ass to get cilantro to start. At least in my experience I've never been able to actually start cilantro, but I bought one one year and I guess when it seeded it receded itself and the next spring it came up. I hope it does it again this year.
Speaker 3Yeah, hopefully, because the first time we did it it went crazy. We had a great cilantro year and then the next year I feel like it didn't do anything. It's kind of on and off.
Speaker 1You know what Cilantro is one of those things that you said something earlier about trying stuff you hadn't before. Cilantro is one of those things that it is so hard to grow. Yeah, at least to start it, especially for new ones. Another one celery.
Speaker 3Celery, yeah, I would. I'll be interested in how that process is.
Speaker 1I never, we never tried that I have celery outside, you have to start it early in, like in your actual garden bed. It has to be started early. That's what I've noticed. Last year I didn't get up to store size. The sun got really hard on it, but it's been so rainy.
Speaker 3I mean I'm sure that it's just going to be another year, because our potatoes and our onions, oh my God, this year our onions came out and they look like store-bought onions this year. But it just took a year of the ground getting used to it, I guess, and us covering it up with the proper amount of leaves over the winter. And of course, the big thing that's different between you and I is that I get the Georgia weather and you get the Missouri weather, so it's crazier up there. I don't know how you do it Down here. We could do so much planting in the winter.
Speaker 1Well, when you came in April, you said it's so bare.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's crazy in Missouri.
Speaker 1I had to get a little defensive. Like I, still have a frost possible.
Speaker 3I understand Like now. I mean, we pretty much do stuff throughout the year. You know we get. We were getting collard, greens and broccoli in January. You know what I'm saying. It's crazy how year round we really can do it. And Adrienne is so organized, has her plot mapped out through each year and we can go back and look on certain day Like when do we plant this, when do we do this? Okay, well, let's try to do it a little earlier or a little later this year. It's really really the greatest thing ever to be able to get different stuff throughout the year. We get the sweet potatoes at one point, then we get the garlic and then we get the rest of the greens. Now we're starting to get tomatoes and we just put okra in the ground. So okra's coming soon. And you know I enjoy that, because when I was doing it back in Missouri, like I said, it was really spring, summer and I'm getting that stuff up in fall all the time I barely got anything after that. It's way different.
Speaker 1You really have to take advantage of the cold spring and the cold fall to get some of the stuff that I think is a lot easier for you to grow, like brassicas, collards those are so much easier for you to grow through a much longer period, even, yeah, but like can you grow tomatoes all the way through november. I don't know if my plant was just like I want to. I want to do it like I really I got in november last year yeah, yeah, but then again I had I've zero tomatoes.
Speaker 3It's kind of up and down, Some days yes, Some days no.
Speaker 1Yeah, my basil looks beautiful, but that always happens.
Speaker 3Yeah, we got some basil about to start. We got a whole bunch of stuff coming.
Speaker 1Has your basil bolted yet?
Speaker 3I'm not sure. I have to double check.
Speaker 1That's when your flavor changes.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1It gets really, really spicy.
Speaker 3I have to double check because I haven't been to the community. But the thing is, we would make a vinegar with our basil too, so the spicier will be nice for the vinegar actually.
Speaker 1It might give it a little bit of a bite.
Speaker 1Yeah, a little bit, but it's not so good for like a pesto, which is what I love. My favorite thing to do is make as much pesto as possible, because you know how basil plants are they get crazy. If it rains enough, you'll have to take so much plant and and do something with it. I hate to throw things away, so I like to make the pesto cubes and freeze them, and that that has been the easiest, nicest dinner to have, cause it's so easy. You just unfreeze a cube, but then it's still like hey, that's our garden stuff.
Speaker 3It makes everything so easy to you know, even like we went on vacation and I had a bunch of lemons. So we, we freeze the lemon juice and I just, I just love having that kind of stuff in the freezer year round that you could just throw into the dish and it's real easy.
Speaker 1And I love it when it's stuff that you grew.
Speaker 3Yeah, adrian does that with the gazpacho. Every year we make a gazpacho out of the tomatoes and cucumbers and we have that throughout the year and it's just frozen here in the basement. When we did pumpkins, we took the pumpkin stuff out, put it in the freezer and I was able to use anything. You can make a pumpkin pie later on in a year, because you got all the ingredients frozen and ready to go and that's kind of. I'm about to start doing that with pasta too, I think personally.
Speaker 1You can freeze pasta instead of having to let it dry.
Speaker 3Yes, and making it fresh is just so different than buying it. I didn't realize I was going to fall in love with fresh pasta as fast as I did.
Speaker 1Next thing you know, you're going to be buying Durham berries and milling your own flour.
Organic Gardening and Bug Management
Speaker 3I would love that. I feel like every time you talk about how you milled your flour and this, and that it just sounds healthier, it sounds cleaner, you know exactly where it's coming from. You don't know, you didn't add anything extra into it, you just did it the way you want to, and I feel like that's kind of where I'm leaning towards more and more with the garden, not only did you not add anything extra, but it somehow magically has way more nutrients than the stuff in the store with preservatives.
Speaker 1Also another little cool hack about milling your own flour and stuff is wheat berries can last forever Not ever, that's not true, but a really, really, really long time. Whereas flour is bad.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1I only mill when I need it.
Speaker 3Yeah, what you need. That's nice. Maddie, joan and I have known each other for a while. I used to work a lot of places and one summer I just so happened to get three jobs one at New York and company I was working at the box office at the river campus in Cape Girardeau. And then also I got a seasonal job at American Eagle at the mall, and also MJ had a seasonal job at American Eagle and we were working there and we started talking one day and we're like hold up, who do you know? And out of nowhere she's naming all of my best friends, I'm naming people that she is really close with, and we're like, oh wait, how do we not know each other? It made no sense. And then from that moment on we just became the best of friends and I actually after I I was the intern box office manager of the Show Me Center in Cape Girardeau and she was like my number one hire.
Speaker 3I hired MJ. She just lost the job at the point. She needed something and I was like I got something that's steady and you don't have to worry about anything. I got you and we got really close in those months working at the Show Me Center and it's just us hanging out at the box office selling tickets to, you know, monster truck rallies and WWE and gun and knife shows All of the madness that they had at Southeast and I just really love time with MJ.
Speaker 3I'm comfortable. I feel like we always look out for each other. We believe in each other. It's always fun to have someone like her in my corner and I'm very fortunate you listen to the show. I have a lot of people that I'm very close with that I like to share this space with, and I've wanted to get her on for a while. So it was fun to have her here and it went exactly the way I thought it would. Us talking very crazy about gardens and all of the stuff that we do around our houses, and we gossip to each other like two old women watching the Price is Right every day. So I enjoy this conversation a lot. I hope you enjoy or at least get something out of it. That's fun. I know it's pretty chaotic at times, but we just love to hang out and catch up and talk and bounce ideas off of each other.
Speaker 3But much love to MJ and let's get back to the show. We're going to do a question in between, Okay good, because otherwise I can.
Speaker 1we'll just be chatty, chatty I know we will.
Speaker 3I know we will, all right, so Jeopardy, of course. You know the game. We're going to start with garden foods for 100. And we're just both going to answer this, and whoever gets whatever gets negative or whatever. So it's a root vegetable eating throughout the world that are round, in range from white to red potato. They also. They are also. They are often cut up and put into salads oh shit, that's not it, that's a radish I was thinking radish or carrot. Which one you take, you choose which one.
Speaker 1I'll go with the other well, it's definitely not potato, I don't put potato in a salad, unless you'll be talking about a potato salad, actually, no, I do put a potato in a salad. I am German. Yeah, I think probably it's radish.
Speaker 3All right, now I'm going to go with carrot. Here we go. Let's see what it is Radish. I knew it was a radish. I should have gone with you, but you get the points.
Speaker 1Yeah, that makes sense to me.
Speaker 3You get the points. When did you actually start? Did you do any gardening when you were younger, or were you like this is just something you saw? You were like, okay, let me see if I could do it now, Because that was the same with me. I grew up with it, but I didn't do it until I was an adult.
Speaker 1I think my parents had a garden when I was very, very, very little, but neither of them were like gardeners, and I didn't really enjoy it with them. My aunt had a rose garden, though, and she was very particular about it. It was like her pride and joy, but like something that I still do today, and you've probably seen me do it. Actually, when I've given you garden tours that I get from my aunt is when she would go out to her garden. The first thing she would do is she had a mint patch right next to her rose garden. She'd go over, she'd grab some mint, chew it up and walk around her garden, and, I kid you not, I do the same.
Speaker 3That's nice. I got it from her.
Speaker 1And I do it likely because of her. Other than that, no, I didn't really have a whole lot of especially vegetable gardening in my life, though I grew up in a farm community. Now it kind of stemmed from plants. I got really into house plants when I was working at the plant shop and stuff. I don't know why I started growing my own food, though.
Speaker 3Did we tell you about the organic winery we went to in Italy?
Speaker 1No, but I like everything you've just said.
Speaker 3So we went around and they had everything. They had hazelnut trees, they had chestnuts, they had olive grove, they had anything you can imagine they had. But one of the tricks that they did that, I think, was really, really something I was like this is pretty dope, I'm going to make sure I tell everyone is on their grape trees. It was either their grape trees or their olive trees. At the very front they always had roses and specifically they did that because they knew that whatever was going to get to the plant would go through the roses first. So when they would see the roses are being attacked, they would act and eliminate whatever it is before it got to the rest of them. It's like an attractive beam, it's like sugar and water for a fly, it's like oh, let me go to that.
Speaker 1Canary in a coal mine right.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it was. They really was like. We've been doing this since we started years ago and we never changed it. That's the traditional way we do it and it's always been the most convenient way to spot when something about to cook crazy. I was blown away that this big winery actually followed something so simple still.
Speaker 1Most of those traditional ways. They came about because they had to protect their craft and they don't have the pest control with all the chemicals that we have today. The kind of easy way out is the way I see it. I mean it's a lot harder to fight things naturally.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1But the payoff is-.
Speaker 3Is amazing.
Speaker 1Oh my God, it is Once you start doing all the multiple things that it really takes to prevent pests or whatever in your garden. What you've just done is built a stronger garden because you've had to plant an X crop to be a trap crop or Y crop to gives off a smell that prevents another bug from coming by. I don't know. It's as simple as putting a cup of beer in your garden to get rid of slugs.
Speaker 3Yeah, or putting hay down so that your watermelon won't mold on the bottom, little shit like that. Yeah, I feel like and the crazy thing is now it's like I met the perfect woman, adrienne's, the love of my life, but she kind of handles most of the garden, so I don't garden like I used to. I've gotten a little lazy. I should get back out there and do more stuff.
Speaker 1She sciences, it doesn't she? She's like me about it.
Speaker 3She's so good, but it's like I do enjoy. I used to go out my grandma's big thing. The thing she would do every time she would go out to the garden is she would sing to the plants. She would always tell me, dominique, sing to the plants, they'll grow better because they can hear you. And she was very particular about their living, just like us kind of thing. And Adrienne introduced me to the book Braiding Sweetgrass and that was kind of the same thing with them.
Speaker 1They're like it's a living thing. That's funny that there's a movie I think it's the Widow Clicquot which is she's a famous champagne mistress, madam, whatever, anyway, but that's how her husband started and he was teaching her. He said you have to sing to the vines. I don't sing to my plants, but I talk to them If you talk to them, that's the same thing. That's the same thing, Girl you're looking good.
Speaker 3Oh my God, I feel like people who are listening have no idea what's going on right now. But oh my God, I feel like people who are listening have no idea what's going on right now. But with MJ's garden, it's her entire front yard. It's not like some big plot. It's like her whole front yard has been converted into this incredible landscape of a garden Raised beds it's the talk of the town Raised beds and archways and big pots everywhere. It's incredible. I think it's fantastic. And then the chickens are in the backyard.
Speaker 1I put up a bamboo tee.
Speaker 3Yes, yes.
Speaker 1And actually there's another trellis that I put up since you've last seen it, but it's not completely done. My neighbors hate me. Neither love me or they hate me. There's the old lady next door who's like you know. She's upset that it's not like a perfectly manicured yard. And then there's the ladies from the hospital who walk by every day and stop and ask me questions and check and see if the deer had gotten my tomato plants again this year.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1They did.
Fresh Pasta and Food Philosophy
Speaker 3You're right next to the hospital so I can only imagine, especially like some nurses. We used to have nurses come down to Buckner's when I bartend in Cape. They were always trying to get out of that place. They were so stressed out. So I can imagine them being right there and like walk in the corner, just going a block away to get away from the hospital and your garden, being their happy thing, regular walking route, yeah, and I'm on it like I have a.
Speaker 1I have a really good walking neighborhood and that's. That was really a fun part of being out in my garden. At first it wasn't so fun because I didn't know people, but, um, after a while people would just be walking by and like, oh, it looks good. Or you know, they'd ask me if I got got got by the deers I did. Or when I had gourds growing. That's always people always have to stop and ask about those. I don't think I'm gonna have any this year. It never germinated and I don't want to talk about it. I'll cry, okay.
Speaker 3Let's get back to the game Garden food for 300. This leafy green can also be purple. You might enjoy it baked as a chip. That is kale.
Speaker 1That is kale. I don't enjoy it baked as a chip.
Speaker 3Yeah, that's kale. That was an easy one For 300. It baked as a chip. Yeah, that's kale. That was an easy one For $300,. How's that weight Radish? I'm mad I didn't just say radish with you. I am interested more in the meal. Where did you get the idea of doing the flour meal? Because the more you talk to me about it, the more you try to convince me to get flour and do it at home.
Speaker 1I was baking all of our bread.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1I started in January I guess. For Christmas I was given a dehydrated sourdough starter Basically all the tools to make sourdough, and so I kind of went down that path for quite a while but it kind of got really expensive. Yeah, flour, like not for a very big bag, it was getting pretty expensive. And I was just doing some reading and kind of got worried about the tariff situation, yeah, and I was like, well, I can store wheat for a really long time and also a little bit what you were talking about earlier.
Speaker 1I really wanted to make my own pasta and freeze it. Somebody I follow on TikTok. She makes her own pasta and then, instead of having it out on drying racks, like you would, because she doesn't have the space, she freezes it. And I was like, well, heck, I could do that. I don't have kitchen space either.
Speaker 3My husband liked the sourdough so much I thought whole wheat sourdough, that's even better to be able to do it whenever and not even worry about it Just randomly like, hey, you want some pasta tonight? Great Cacio e pepe. But they talk about how difficult it is to make and I'm like how can it be difficult? It is literally pasta, cheese, water and pepper. There's no way it's hard to make and I made it for the first time. Well, actually, going back when you're in Rome and you eat it, you realize, oh, the pasta they use is always freshly made. They never use store-bought. It's always freshly made and it's specific cheese and there's a way that they get the aroma out of the pepper and stuff like that. So I'm like I got to learn the ways of the Romans, I got to learn. I got to learn, I got to get it right.
Speaker 1So I have a hot take on pasta.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1Okay. So in general, if I say I'm going to feed you butter noodles tonight, you're going to say what kind of five-year-old palate do you have? But then if said, wait, I'm gonna make the pasta, you're saying you have my attention yeah, I didn't change the ingredients no but I took out all of the crap and I really think that, like there are really simple and wonderful pasta dishes Super simple, three ingredients. Pesto is like no ingredients.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1It's good ingredients, though it's not pesto in a plastic jar from Schnucks that's got preservatives in it.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1That's not what it is. It's fresh basil from the garden with good virgin olive oil, actually with pine nuts, yeah.
Speaker 3And.
Speaker 1Parmesan Reggiano, not green craft Parmesan. That's not what we're talking about here, and just those number of changes. You can still use dried pasta and have a better experience than if you were to. You know it's simple changes, but like we think that our time is so much more valuable that we forgot what tastes good.
Speaker 3And I think we just settle for stuff that we don't really need to settle for. Like there's certain places you can go and they're like, oh, we don't have this stuff, we don't have these vegetables or fruit because it's out of season, and people just are okay with it. They're like, oh, we don't have this stuff, we don't have these vegetables or fruit because it's out of season, and people just are okay with it. They're like, great, it's out of season, I'm eating what's in season. But there are certain places, like Atlanta or big cities, where it's like you can get stuff that's coming year round and it's like, oh, why does this orange not taste that well? And it's like, well, it's not really in season right now. That's why it doesn't taste good.
Speaker 1That's a bigger problem in America as a whole actually.
Speaker 3Yes, it is, it is I agree.
Speaker 1If we can order it, we should have it. Exactly In season or not, we do not understand the concept of waiting for things like a season for something to grow and I think gardening gives you that like, think about it, like there's patients every time, like when you give away a squash that you grew, that person just thinks you're giving them a squash. They don't realize that you planted the seed and you watered it every day. If you don't have an irrigation system, I don't.
Speaker 1You fertilized it. You fought the squash borers with your two hands and one.
Speaker 3Beat them.
Speaker 1All to just grow one fruit that you gave away.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Or vegetable that you gave away, and they think I could buy it for 50 cents. You sure freaking could.
Speaker 3Yeah, but also no. You couldn't. Tomatoes taste 20 times different grown fresh or from farmer's markets than they do when you get them from the grocery store. I never thought was real. I was like there's no way. And then you start eating fresh tomatoes and you're like, wait, it does taste better.
Speaker 1They taste even more different if you go outside. This is most especially if you. I like to do this test on cherry tomatoes because they're the nicest to pop in your mouths. Yeah, a hot cherry tomato in the sun hot, the flavor is different yeah versus one. Even if your own garden, you pick it and bring it outside and it comes down to temperature, it's different a warm in the sun, one that that sun, it's extra, extra vitamins, I'm sure.
Speaker 3So good that sounds. It sounds scientifically correct. That's how good it sounds.
Speaker 1I know I thought about that.
Speaker 3Sounds like we really know what we're talking about.
Speaker 1But like it does taste better. I don't know why, but I am certainly their science.
Speaker 3And it was like I said. I grew up with it and when I was younger, of course my grandma would have all this stuff and I didn't even eat the vegetables then because I was like this is gross. You know, I followed in the steps of my other family members. A lot of my family members just didn't like vegetables and stuff and they still don't eat their vegetables. They just want some chicken and they just want some French fries and they're done. But my grandmother was diabetic and she was real specific about her diet. So by the time before she passed away, the one thing that she always splurged on she was a big fan of French dressing. So she'll do a really clean salad, but it's going to be french dressing on it, you know. But other than that, it was always fresh ingredients. It was always stuff in the house that we could have and we just avoided it and she passed away. Years went by, no one was doing the garden and I dated my ex-girlfriend in college. Nicole and her family did all fresh gardening.
Speaker 3I was like damn this is this is way better than I used to do this, because grandma isn't making it anymore, so it's like, okay, I think I should put some effort into this and make it happen, and it really has been something. That is, you can't really go back to the way it was before or after you start doing it, I feel like you can get lazier and just not want to garden anymore, but you're still going to search out hey, farmer's market, let's go get the tomatoes from here instead of the grocery store. It's always going to be something that you go for.
Speaker 1I feel the same way about bread too. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Especially since I started making sourdough, I mean you saw some of my early loaves in some of those pictures. No-transcript. Yeah, I'm really a big sourdough fan now I always used to think I didn't like sourdough and I think I don't like store-bought sourdough. It's dry.
Speaker 3Store-bought. Would you get something from the bakery at the store, or no? No, no.
Speaker 1Not usually. No, we were sandwich bag kids. What else were? We going to wrap our socks in to go out in the snow Indeed. We put socks sandwich bag, snow boots, everybody knows it, dom.
Speaker 3That old Appleton lifestyle was real.
Speaker 1My feet didn't get wet, did yours.
Speaker 3Mine got wet.
Speaker 1There you go.
Speaker 3Mine got wet because I was a city kid who didn't think.
Speaker 1Poor kids, poor kids from the trailer park right here, we know how to stay dry all right garden terms for 100.
Speaker 3A flexible tube used to carry water sprinklers or nozzles are typically fitted to the end.
Speaker 2I would say a hose right yeah that was flexible too, that's let's, let's see.
Speaker 3Yeah, why, why would they? I guess it was a hundred. Does that make sense? That's stupid. This was you know. All right, let's, let's see what the hard questions are. All right. Types of gardens five of a hundred. This type of garden has vegetables for the home, but it's planted to increase food production during a war.
Speaker 1Victory garden.
Speaker 3Wow, you got it right.
Home Milling and Seasonal Eating
Speaker 1Yes, yeah, that was like during World War II that was a big thing. If every house planted their own garden they could feed themselves and the food and produce one that was being not produced because young men are off at war, but that was being produced could be sent to feed troops.
Speaker 3Where did you learn that? Where did you get that information?
Speaker 1I actually learned that in school.
Speaker 3Okay, I was like I don't think I remember that in school If I was taught it, I just don't remember it.
Speaker 1Also there's a kind of a trend toward victory garden type things. I've noticed on TikTok in the last year or two Not necessarily the same type of situation, but even in COVID that was another thing. You saw a lot more people gardening and things.
Speaker 3One of the things that we got into because Adrienne's mother is also an incredible gardener and that she's the one that kind of helps us move along. She has her big one. We have three plots and Adrienne and her kind of work together on the three plots, but then she has one at the house and he has a whole backyard of stuff you would love. You're going to come here to Georgia at some point. We're going to take you around all the wonderful gardens and you're going to love it.
Speaker 1That's what it'll be Like. The main event will be a garden tour. That's what I want.
Speaker 3Literally that, and we'll go to the botanical gardens because you know, adrienne and her mother are members there, so you can go and it'll love it.
Speaker 1Of course, they are my friend. Hannah is also a member and took me to the botanical garden because I wanted to see, I wanted to smell Lucy.
Speaker 3Oh, really Well. The one in Georgia is incredible Adrienne's mother. She won yard of the month, so her garden is really really impressive. It's impressive stuff. Adrienne and I are trying to work hard. They don't really give out yard of the week.
Speaker 1My neighbor two doors down one garden of the month. I don't know who makes that choice.
Speaker 2I don't think that they like my garden.
Speaker 1She's a native kind of wildlife habitat gardener though she and. I are like real close. I like her a lot. She is my old lady bestie.
Speaker 3I was bringing up Karen just because she has so much going on over there and we always have different things coming in and out of the house and they're like, oh, we got this from this person and this from this person and it just makes things so easy to you know. No, we don't have to buy onions for a couple of months. We don't have to buy tomatoes for a couple of months. When we get okra, I usually smoke the okra and then freeze it.
Speaker 1Smoke it and then freeze it.
Speaker 3Yes, the okra, and then freeze it and smoke it, and freeze it. Yes, I smoke it and I chop it up. Smoke, well, I smoke it whole, chop it up, then freeze it, and that way, when I put it in the gumbo later in the year, it's like smoky gumbo.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah so I realized that this week that I've been sleeping on flowers like regular flowers and you know how I realized that you sent me that picture of or that video of that bouquet, or Adrian did Hot dog.
Speaker 3Yes, jeez, louise. Literally we was looking today because she said every surface in our house has fresh flowers on it today. And the whole point is like she was like this is like $50 worth of flowers and I just planted it and we're going to have plenty throughout the year. And I was like, yeah, that is very true, that is very true. We got six huge hydrangeas in the yard.
Speaker 1You never have to buy her flowers. You just go outside and you cut her some. If you buy her flowers, she can tell you it's a waste of money.
Speaker 3And she told me it was a waste of money when I would do it. She's like don't buy me flowers.
Speaker 1Don't buy me no flowers, grow me some.
Speaker 3Yeah, but it really is a cool little thing and you would be able to kill it with it, because you could kind of put the flowers around the garden I grew zinnias last year and we had zinnias all summer long.
Speaker 1I like fresh flowers too. We are flower people also, but by the time that the vegetable garden gets in, I'm usually pretty spent.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3And that's really, I really need to-. Well, you got to put them in the ground and just let them go.
Speaker 1Yeah, bulbs, put them all in the ground and get everything in there, just only bulbs, no seeds.
Speaker 3You won't have to worry about it, because then when you start seeing them pop up in this and that you'll be like oh, I didn't think this was going to come up this year, I didn't think this, I didn't think that I had that kind of luck with hostas.
Speaker 1My hostas out front look beautiful. Got some clearance sad ones from Aldi at the end of the season two years ago.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1And now those suckers are out front blooming, looking like they were planted there 10 years ago and they belong.
Speaker 3Our hostas are literally eaten every year. We went to Italy. They were beautiful before we left. We got back, gone, completely gone. The deer are like yo, they're gone. They're not walking around the yard, the dog isn't out there. Let's get to it. And they did, and it was horrible, horrible to see. It was like a murder.
Speaker 1They don't need to attack my hostas. I've got all the vegetables out front. Yeah.
Speaker 3That's the thing we don't have all the vegetables for them. I remember one year we tried to grow some snow peas up the fence but I don't think those ever came back and they don't come onto our back porch because we had a fence. So yeah, the hostas are their main thing to go for and I was thinking maybe I'll start putting like clover out in the yard and that'll distract them from the hostas. They'll like eat the clover instead.
Speaker 1No.
Speaker 3And the flower that comes from the clover maybe Like if I just grow a bunch of it, you don't think so. No.
Speaker 1No, because that's what you want to happen, dom, and that's not what's going to happen. I could lie to you and tell you what you think is going to happen is going to happen, but we both know what the battles with deer and squirrel really are like, and that is everything that you have found on the Internet to try.
Speaker 3It's not going to work. Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right. They talked about that like wolf's pee or whatever.
Speaker 1Coyote pee boy, do I have some?
Speaker 3Yeah, coyote. They said. Yeah, use the pee and the pee will work. And it doesn't work at all Because there ain't no wolves around here.
Speaker 1My bigger fear is like is it going to attract other predators?
Speaker 3Yeah, that makes sense too. It's like, oh okay, let me mark this territory, kind of thing.
Speaker 1Put cayenne all over your garden and the squirrels won't come back. That's a lie.
Speaker 3That's totally a lie. I put oil like spicy oil, peppermint oil, camphor oil, no, no, I put the real hot oil. I bought it. It has like a sizzled squirrel on the cover of it. I'm thinking, okay, this is gonna be great. And I used it and put it in the seeds. And another big thing my grandma was big on was birds. So I have a birdhouse in the backyard with a birdbath and I put the seeds in there and that's kind of like my thing. I do the birdhouse thing, no-transcript, eating it and taking it in and enjoying it. It was like he got accustomed to that spicy food and it was just another day.
Speaker 3I was like what was the point of spending money on it? This did nothing but just give it a thing to get ready for. It was ready for that hot stuff. It's the worst.
Speaker 1You want to know the weirdest thing I tried.
Speaker 3What.
Speaker 1I made my husband pee in a jar.
Speaker 3Yeah, you tell me that.
Speaker 1And I sprinkled that all around my yard.
Speaker 3Didn't work.
Speaker 1No, instead, I just have the memory of having a jar of my husband's pee in my hand, which I don't really appreciate.
Speaker 3This is why you can't listen to stuff you find on Pinterest. That's the problem.
Speaker 1I was at my wit's end.
Speaker 3No, but that's what happens. I went to Japan and I was looking at all these things on Pinterest and I got to remind myself I'm an African-American gentleman going to Japan. I'm not the basic white bitch that made this damn post. So when I get there and they're talking about don't wear shorts, it's disrespectful, don't do this, don respectful, don't do this, don't be that. And I had on pants, jeans, and it's middle of summertime and it's hot as balls and everyone's looking at me like, yeah, black dude, why are you wearing all these clothes? And it's like, yeah, I'm the only black dude here. Ain't like they're going to think, oh, he's Japanese. Of course I'm American, I should wear what the hell makes me comfortable.
Speaker 3Then I went to Ireland. Same thing, looking at these stupid Pinterest people telling me certain things to do when I get there and avoid this and avoid that and don't do this and don't do that. And it's like, how about? I'm just going to do it and see what happens. And if I pee on the tree around my garden and they keep coming, okay, the pee don't work. I tried it, but I'm not going to listen to y'all tell me that this works. It's like those stupid people that be putting the whales cum on their face. Like what are you doing? What are you doing? We live in a weird world.
Speaker 1Man, you put whale vomit all over yourself on the regular.
Speaker 3Who me.
Speaker 1Yeah, what are you talking about?
Speaker 3Are you telling me you don't wear cologne? I?
Garden Failures and Wildlife Battles
Speaker 1wear cologne Yep. You want to know Abergrace, what kind?
Speaker 3of cologne. Does that?
Speaker 1Almost every perfume, and cologne has a history of using whale vomit.
Speaker 3Google it which cologne Colognes, which cologne Cologne, which brands? Which brands. While whale vomit is a term for this, it's not actually vomit, but rather it's whale vomit.
Speaker 1Hold up.
Speaker 3From whale sperm. Sperm. Sperm sperm no, from sperm whales. Okay, it's rare, expensive ingredient. Some perfumes they use it include. I don't use any of those okay, most don't use it anymore.
Speaker 1I just but the ones that don't use it anymore. But the ones that don't use it anymore, they use a synthetic alternative. So basically they're like hey, I don't want to use the whale vomit anymore. Can we just make fake whale vomit?
Speaker 3Okay, so Gucci does it still.
Speaker 1That's what I'm talking about Luxury brands.
Speaker 3Oh my God, what is this world that we live in?
Speaker 1Have I ruined your life.
Speaker 3No, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1That's a big part of the. You know, like when whalers used to go whaling in Nantucket.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1They wanted the blubber because that's a whole heck of a lot of oil and grease, you know, for lamps and whatnot. They wanted the bones because you know what they used those for Corsets, the boning, and corsets and dresses.
Speaker 3that's what it is, it's whale bones how do you, how do you even discover that whale sperm and well burnt bones is stuff that we need on the regular?
Speaker 1at the time you think of, when they probably found a dead whale or caught a dead whale, and at the time time period they think, okay, what can we use all of this for? Because they were more interested in using every little bit. What's making you make that face, dom?
Speaker 3One of my colognes has whale sperm in it.
Speaker 1No whale vomit from sperm whales.
Speaker 3Oh, okay, whale vomit from sperm whales. Okay, notes, and why? Why?
Speaker 1Why. Are you mad that I said you wear whale vomit and you said which cologne, which cologne? And you thought you were going to prove me wrong. And one of your colognes has whale vomit in it.
Speaker 3This sucks. This is not cool. Why do they do this to me? Why do I get to play? This is why vegans exist right here. Wow, my Calvin Klein has it in it too, madness.
Speaker 2You say this guy, this guy's in love with you. Yes, I'm in love. Who looks at you the way I do? When you smile, I can tell tell know each other very well. How can I show you? I'm glad I got to know you guys. I've heard some talks. They say you think I'm fine. Really, yes, I'm in love. Who makes you smile the way I do? Baby, please keep it cheap, you and me every day. How can I show you? I'm so glad that I got to tell you that I need your love. I want your love. Tell me you're in love, in love with this guy, and not I'll just die, hey.
Speaker 3Alright, this is me performing this Guy's In Love With you, one of my favorite tunes. I'm doing this at Lemon In Chicago on Valentine's Day. I just love this show and love sharing it with y'all. Hope y'all enjoy it. If you want to listen to any of my other music, you can check me out on all streaming platforms. You can get all the information you want about me At domlamorecom, where you can get anything and everything domlamore you'll be so sweet.
Speaker 4It's you and me. Every day we go and creep to see what we can be. Every day I need you and you need me. This love, this love, this love, this love. This guy is in so much love. Yes, you and me, baby let's go, let's see.
Speaker 3Well, folks, we made it to a part of the um podcast where, um, we all talk about things that we love, and I'm going to start. This is very hard to like change and pivot. I'm really trying to move away from the whale vomit, but you know what I love? I love yoga. I've been doing my yoga every, every day, pretty much like at least five times a week. I try to get it in. I try to get it in more than that, but when I do the weddings on the weekends, it takes a lot out of me.
Speaker 3The day after and maybe the day of, we might be running around too much for me to even get to do a little stretching in a full thing, and I try to do at least 20 minutes to 40 minutes every day and it's been really relaxing. It's been helping me with really relaxing. It's been helping me with my breathing. It's been helping me with my singing. It's been helping me with getting stronger and just feeling better all together. My aches are gone. My body feels like it's being taken care of. So that's what I'm loving right now. What's something that you're loving right now, mj?
Speaker 1I am loving crochet. Yes, so I started in march. My sister taught me, just reclaiming a little bit of something from the women of my, of my family, of my ancestry. I come from a long line of fiber artists yeah it's out, women who crochet and stuff and do all sorts of little things like that oh, look at that, I haven't crocheted for just a handful of months now, and right now I'm currently holding up Dom's future gift. He knows about it. Colors.
Speaker 3It looks great. It looks great.
Speaker 1Yeah, so it's. I do it just about every night. I like to listen to a book or something when I'm doing it, but something that I've already heard before or watched before is usually best.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1And I just kind of a noodle on some stuff. So I really haven't told you this, but I guess I'll share it with you. As I have found myself in this particular pattern for your living room, which the colors I picked, of course, are like a plum and there's a maroon and there's an orange.
Speaker 1And then there's a really beautiful, variegated that has all of those colors in it. I kind of kept getting the sense of you know, sunshine. And then I thought of the line from the song that you and Adrian were dancing to at your wedding you know, goodbye, Mr Sun. And that's just kind of the vibe I've been putting into it as I go, so yeah, that song's the best. Something I really love doing.
Speaker 3You know? Have I ever told you why we chose that song for our first dance?
Speaker 1No, but I absolutely loved it.
Speaker 3It's called Sun Goes Down by Fat Knight, one of my favorite bands. We went to Zion National Park. We went to all of these national parks, but specifically when we were in Zion we pulled out the bikes and we biked through Zion for a little bit and for some reason this song was stuck in my head. I couldn't get it out of my head. So when the sun was going down I just kept on singing goodbye Mr Sun, see you in the morning. It just kept happening, kept happening, and when we were thinking about what we were going to dance to, I was like, oh, what about that song? That's like a song that will always be in a memory because it was either the day before or maybe two days before I proposed. So really really cool song. Go check out Fat Night, great tune.
Speaker 1Yeah, and if you are listening to it, think of Crochet and Sunset Colors and Dom and Adrienne dancing.
Speaker 3And that's the vibe, y'all. The way we end every episode is very same way. We've spoken about everything we want to speak about, and more. All I ask now is how do you feel?
Speaker 1I feel great. I had a great chat with my friend Dom. I laughed a lot. Ruined your afternoon now that you know I feel great. I had a great chat with my friend Dom. I laughed a lot. Ruined your afternoon now that you know about the whale vomit.
Speaker 3Dude, I'm so upset this is going to be so annoying because I'm going to know every time, now, every time.
Speaker 1Every time. Yeah, I feel great. How do you feel?
Speaker 3I feel amazing. It's been a really good chill day. I slept in a little bit because, like I said, the wedding I did this weekend was it wasn't that crazy, but I put a lot of energy out. I do a lot of jumping running around and I had a little cold last week, so I got, you know, about an hour and a half extra sleep today and did every errand I had and knocked off everything on my to-do list and this was one of the last things I get to do today before I go up and eat. So I can't complain. It's good times talking to you.
This Guy's In Love With You
Speaker 1I think I'm going to get so pesto.
Speaker 3Yeah, that sounds about right. Sounds about right. Well, love you, I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 1Much love Dom talk to you soon. Much love Dom talk to you soon.
Speaker 3I want to thank you for listening to the Black man Talking Emotions podcast. The opening quote credit goes to Allison Morris Earl. And shout out to Maddie Cho for being on the pod. Mj does not have Instagram, so leave her alone. Please subscribe to the podcast, share the podcast and give us a good rating. Five stars, please, and thank you. You can support the show by clicking the link at the bottom of the episode description. Also, tell me your plans for the coming year. We should collab. If you like this episode, you should check out finding peace, a previous episode. I speak, speak with Joseph Evans about theater, family, mental health and so much more, so go check that out. Follow me at D-O-M underscore L-A-M-O-U-R on Instagram or at DomLamorecom. I'm Dom Lamore, much love.
