Hair What I'm Saying
“Hair What I’m Saying” is where healing, beauty, and honest storytelling meet. Hosted by Kinetra, a licensed hair expert, deep thinker, and truth-teller, this show has earned a spot in the top 5% of podcasts worldwide, on Listen Notes. It goes beyond the surface to explore the emotional, spiritual, and personal layers behind hair, identity, and growth.
Whether it’s uncovering the science of hair loss, breaking generational cycles, or reflecting on real-life relationships, each episode holds space for vulnerable conversations, self-discovery, and unapologetic truth. If you’ve ever found power in your pain or beauty in your becoming, this podcast is for you.
Hair What I'm Saying
Black Girl Hair & Identity: Mother & Daughter Edition feat Majik
Memory carries what our kids forget, especially when those memories live in our hands. In this Black girl hairconversation, I sit with my daughter, Majik, for a mother and daughter reflection on Black girl identity and the emotional roots behind our hair journeys. As a mother, I revisit the moment a little boy called her locs ugly, and how that moment shaped her early sense of identity as a Black girl.
We start with a fun this-or-that warm-up before moving into the real: boundaries at gymnastics, that Facebook dust-up with parents, and a team meeting that reminded us why “don’t touch my hair” is about dignity, hygiene, and protecting Black girl identity. These moments show how a mother and daughter duo learns, unlearns, and stands firm together.
Magic shares her daily lock routine, the evolution of her styles, and why a shoelace pineapple is her go-to. She explains the sensory weirdness of scalp-only washes, the time cost that nudged her back toward locking, and the one hair product she won’t skip: a good shampoo. I offer the stylist’s perspective—density changes, retwist timing, and how to honor every stage of Black girl hair growth while nurturing inner identity.
Underneath the styles, this mother and daughter edition dives into culture, confidence, and self-definition. Magic connects her locs to inner strength but refuses to let her hair limit her full identity as a Black girl. We talk about compliments, boundaries, consent, and why asking permission matters. Through it all, one truth holds: Black girl hair is a first language, a boundary, and a bridge to belonging.
Press play for stories, strategies, and a soft push to water the roots you can’t see yet. If this Black Girl Hair and Identity; Mother and Daughter Edition episode resonates, follow, rate, and share with a mom, auntie, or teen who needs this reminder.
What hair story shaped you?
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Welcome back to another episode of Hair What I'm Saying, the podcast where we talk beauty, culture, identity, and the hair stories that shaped who we are. This episode has been years in the making. I'm sitting down with my daughter, my real life heart, walking around in the world. The girl who's watched me do hair her whole life, lived through every hairstyle with me, survived the combs, the styles, the braids, the shrinkage, the glow-ups, the setbacks, the wins, all of it. Now here's what's wild. She doesn't remember half the things I remember about her hair journey. She doesn't remember wanting to cut her locks because the boy told her they were ugly. She doesn't remember the little white girls and gymnastics constantly touching her hair while she was just trying to focus or the meeting we ended up having with the coaches because the moms thought I was the problem until they realized the problem was their daughter's hands. She also doesn't remember the good stuff like winning best hair in kindergarten or the way the girls wanted hair like hers growing up. So today we're bringing all of that to the table the forgotten moments, the funny moments, the hard moments, and the triumphant ones. We're talking texture, identity, boundaries, beauty, and the moments that help shape the young woman she's becoming. And listen, she's shy. She answers with one word sometimes, but she showed up. And that alone is magic. So grab your coffee, grab your bonnet, grab whatever you need because this episode is about mothering, healing, remembering, and reclaiming the hair stories that raised us. Welcome to the Hair What I'm Saying podcast. I'm your host, Kenitra Stewart. And today we don't have just a special guest. We have a guest that I hold dear to my heart and soul, my daughter, Magic. Welcome to the show, Magic. How are you? I'm good. How are you, mommy? I'm doing so good. I'm so happy that you decided to join us on the Hair What I'm Saying podcast, finally. Yes, I'm so excited to be on here. Yay! So, just to let y'all know, my daughter is a little shy. So, to warm her up, I decided to start the podcast with some this or that questions so that y'all can get to know her personality a little bit and also to learn about her hair. I guess this or that. You ready?
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, so she is a phenomenal artist. Like she can draw anything. So we're gonna start off with a this or that art question. Traditional art or digital art?
SPEAKER_01:I like traditional art. Why? It's just like the feeling of the pencil on a paper. It's just not the same as it is like on an iPad. It's not the same feeling at all. I just it feels more. It's just more relaxing to me. Oh like therapeutic.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Do you feel more of like a true artist?
SPEAKER_01:Yes. And also on the iPad, I'll like try to draw and then it'll erase some of my brushstrokes and I get real mad. Do you but can you undo? I can. Uh-huh. But then also, I'll like accidentally click out of it and I can't redo anything. Oh, okay. Well, never mind. Yeah. Okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Shade or Whitney Houston?
SPEAKER_01:I love Sade because we have the same birthday. Hey. And what else? I mean, Sade is that girl. Yes, she is. I love her music. Yeah. Beats or AirPods? I like beats more because when I had my AirPods, it just felt like a headache. My headache. It was like during school. Mm-hmm. And it just hurt my ears also. Yeah. And I just like beats.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, me too. I'm with you there. Series or a movie?
SPEAKER_01:Um I feel like it depends on how good it is. Because like, you know, Stranger Things just came out. And so I really like that as a series.
SPEAKER_00:What if they made it into a movie? Would you like it?
SPEAKER_01:I feel like there's so many parts to it that it wouldn't really fit in a movie. They'd probably need multiple parts. So it just depends. Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Track or gymnastics?
SPEAKER_01:I like track more. But I do love gymnastics. Like I don't like competing, but I like the skills that I used to know and do. It's just like the skill, not the competition.
SPEAKER_00:Gotcha. Watching content or creating content.
SPEAKER_01:I like watching content, but when I do post content, it makes me so happy because like I did that, you know? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Fresh retwist or wash day. I'm gonna say fresh retwist. Okay. I just So not just a simple wash day?
SPEAKER_00:Like no retwist, it's just cleansing your hair and scalp.
SPEAKER_01:Oh. Okay. Yeah, wash day for sure.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. I'm like, girl, that's like four hours. Mint or moisture shampoo?
SPEAKER_01:I really like the mint because it's just on my scalp and it feels so tingly. I know, it's like a scalp massage without the effort. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I feel you there. Natural or laid edges?
SPEAKER_01:Um, when I have my fresh V twist, I like to have some edges. Mm-hmm. Um, it doesn't really matter to me. Like, I don't really need them. I know that's right.
SPEAKER_00:It's like an extra addition to the hairstyle for you. You don't have to have it. Good. Movie or music when we're doing your hair? I like the movie more. Okay. I know, because then we'll just be listening. Not being able to look at nothing. Yeah. Have we ever, we never eat just listen to music, huh? No. Mm-mm. Breaks or no no breaks when we're doing your hair.
SPEAKER_01:I prefer no breaks so we can get over with, but then I do want breaks so I can get out the chair.
SPEAKER_00:And rest that romp. Because it's always hurting.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's starting to hurt right now. Just got here. Well, we Joe looking out.
SPEAKER_00:That's true.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. When it comes to hair care, mommy or social media? Of course, mommy, because she's like a literal professional.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. You feeling warmed up?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:All right, let's get into it. Now we're about to get into the nitty-gritty of the episode and why we are here. All right, so let's get into these childhood hair memories. And let me go ahead and say this: my daughter remembers nothing. Nothing. Okay. I live these moments. I sweated through these moments. I fought through these moments. And she out here acting brand new. Okay. All right, let's go back because one of the moments you don't remember, but mama will never forget, is when you wanted to cut your locks. All because a little white boy told you they were ugly. And I had to sit you down and explain your hair is not the problem. His limitations of the world view was. Hearing that story again as a teenager, how do you feel knowing one comment almost changed or it did change your whole hair journey? Because we did actually cut it, but after explaining to you that we're not cutting because of him, you know, but you did have to come back and tell me something else. Because I said, listen, we are not cutting your locks because someone's projection, you know, made you feel some type of way out because he don't really understand what black hair culture is. You have to find another reason.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And so but hearing that now as a teenager, how do you feel knowing one comment did change your whole hair journey?
SPEAKER_01:Hearing that now is just like kind of I wouldn't envision myself doing that now. So when I hear that I did that like years ago, I'm like, what the heck? Like, I'm like, why would I even like care that much? Like that's just crazy to me. And hearing that now, I would never let someone's like opinion like change myself. Right. Cause I feel like I really did love my locks.
SPEAKER_00:You did. You you absolutely did love your locks. But you you were also in that middle school age, you know, where puberty and hormones all over the place. And I feel like in middle school, or whenever you in between those grades of sixth and eight, you have adult and kid things going on at the same time, you know, aesthetically. So you might have all of your adult teeth, but you still have a kitty-looking face. You know, your shoe size might be a size eight, but you still have a little middle school frame, you know. So it's it's like the body is battling in, you know, in the in between. Like I want to be an adult, but I still am a kid. So I'm gonna give you a bit of both. So I do feel like that can also play a role as well, too. Like hormonal also changes the way the brain responds to a lot of things, you know. But ultimately, you came back and told me, because I was like, we are not cutting your locks because some little white boy done told you that they're ugly and they're not. It's just that he don't get it. And it also can be some projection there, you know. So I told you, you gotta come back. And then that's when you told me, well, I want to see what I look like with a little fro and some big earrings, and I miss you showed me this one particular hairstyle with the Bantu knots and the twist out in the back. And I'm like, okay, we can move forward with that. Because tell me what you told me. Like, that could have been a lie just so I can cut my hair, right?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I feel like that was because like all of a sudden you want to cut your locks now. Like I don't, I feel like it was because of that boy, and I just came up with something. Like, I just want my hair back.
SPEAKER_00:We can comb them out. You didn't have to cut them off. Yeah, we went through that too. Because I was like, well, Magic, we don't necessarily have to cut your locks because you know I had already, you know, comb nines out. So I I knew how to do that so that you didn't have to start all over and cut all of your hair. And you were not open to that. I said, well, let's just not retwist it ever. Let the new growth come through for about for about a year, and then we just cut the lock off, and then you have all this free hair. You was like, Nope.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like that rush, it was a part of let me just get this off. Like I want it off, like I want it gone. Uh that's what I felt like too. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Cause now be like, yeah, just calm out. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like, I don't have to cut off.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. But I'm glad that you did experience that at such a very young age because so many black women are still afraid to do that. Like cut their hair off and rock it short in a little small afro. You know, that's that was a huge, even though it stemmed from this little white boy saying he didn't like them, or whatever the case may be. To me, that was still a bold move when all we had to do was calm them out, let it grow out and cut it off. He was like, no, I want to cut off. I'm gonna rock the little fro. So there was still some bravery in there too. Because I I didn't do it. I calmed eyes out. You know, I have not done that by choice, like cut my hair by choice. If I cut it off, it was because it was damaged and I had to let it go. But honey, you were not playing.
SPEAKER_01:I didn't even define her or anything. It was just throw.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my god. And even when I would try to define your curls, you was like, no, no. I was looking like a little boy. And then I would be like, well, where are some earrings? You'd be like, no. Gee, I I don't know. You were so just adamant and sure about where you were. I think if you could remember how confident you were, you were not worried about how you looked at all. It was just, I want them done. I want them gone. And also, if I don't want to wear earrings today, I ain't wearing earrings. To me, I saw a very assured little girl, even though you might look back and be like, what the heck? But I saw an assertive, sure girl. You know. She like, yeah, sure. How do your locks make you feel today compared to back then?
SPEAKER_01:They make me feel much more confident now. And I'm figuring out more hairstyles I can do, like the longer it gets, I get so happy when I figure something out. And they're just like a part of me now. And I love that we added in color because it just adds more to me. Cause at first I was just looking like flat. I'm like, let's just change something, but I'm not cutting these off. Let's just change something. And so we dyed them orange or like a red orange. Copper. Copper. Mm-hmm. They didn't look copper. That was copper.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, well uh well, it was like a very vibrant copper. It was very vibrant. Made me look red in my school pictures. Yeah. But you loved it at the time until it faded, and then you just like the faded version better.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I love the faded version. But yeah, and whenever my hair is like not retwisted or like retwisted, I just I just love my locks now. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:You loved them then too. I think what you loved the most was we didn't have to do your hair so much. Yeah. Yeah. Why did you choose to grow them back?
SPEAKER_01:I feel partly because I didn't want to sit in the chair. Cause you was in that chair every week getting that air. Every single week. And also I just couldn't do my own hair. Cause I I didn't like learn that part. I missed it when I had my locks. So like I missed that part where girls go through the part and learning how to do their own hair. And I was already in like seventh or eighth grade at this time. And so I just need something done. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Well, we're gonna move on to our next topic. And I had to write this down so I could read it because I will go down a rabbit hole with this specific topic because it stirs up old emotions. So, I mean, this is my daughter. Um I'm very protective of her. So I had to make sure for this next segment, I did write it down so that we didn't spiral and then go over our time because I want to make sure we cover everything. So there was gymnastics. Every practice, those little girls were touching your hair while you were trying to focus. Correct me if I'm wrong, but did it bother you before I made you aware of them always constantly touching your hair?
SPEAKER_01:I don't think it did because I feel like I would have done something about it right then and there.
SPEAKER_00:So I don't think I was. Did you understand the importance of why those boundaries were necessary whenever I did make you aware?
SPEAKER_01:Yes, because I'm not going around touching their hair and like literally petting them and pulling on their hair. So and also their hands are dirty.
SPEAKER_00:So Yeah, it's not sanitary because, you know, we would watch, you know, from that glass upstairs and watch our practice. And, you know, they were constantly digging wedges out of their crouch and and in other areas, digging in their nose. And that's what really made me very uncomfortable. Because it's like you're doing that, y'all are sweaty, and then you go and touch my daughter's hair, you know, on top of you're not a pet and you're not some figure at a museum, you know, for them to, you know, do that to. You know, I do believe there's a difference between petting and playing in my hair. Because I had little white friends growing up and they would always play in my hair, but they would braid my hair, you know, try to style my hair. They weren't like, oh my gosh, like petting, you know. Yeah. And I believe that is a difference. But also, they asked me if they could play in my hair. That was also the difference, you know. But one time specifically, I saw you turn around at practice and asked one of the girls to stop touching your hair. And no sooner you turned around, she kind of slapped your ponytail. And baby, that's when Mama Bear was in full protective mode. We had a Facebook group for the parents and children that were on level three, and I let them know what happened, and I told them they need to remind their daughters not only why we are here or they are here, but to keep their hands to themselves or my daughter will defend herself. Oh, so when I said that, all the moms took it to the coaches and said they were afraid to bring their daughters to practice because they felt threatened. While the whole time their daughters were being passive with their aggressiveness. We had a meeting, and I'm thinking in this predominantly white sport, I already knew the direction this meeting was going in. But to my surprise, the coaches reminded the parents of said kids why we are here, and you should keep your hands to yourself due to respect, safety, and sanitary reasons, and how everyone's daughter's main agenda here is to train and nothing beyond that. The meeting was an hour long, but in a nutshell, that's what it was about. I also believe Magic's focus, dedication, and hard work as a gymnast helped rationalize what was what in that situation. However, she did advise me to come to her in the event that happens again instead of going to the Facebook group. They pretended to be scared, but they were scared of boundaries. And they were scared of a black girl asserting herself. We had to have a whole meeting with the coaches over you. Simply wanting to be left alone. How do you handle people touching your hair today?
SPEAKER_01:People don't really touch my hair nowadays. I feel like they're more aware now because of like social media and stuff. Um Has anyone ever asked you, could they touch your hair? Yeah, they did. And I let them because they're not like plain, like they would try to braid my hair. Mm-hmm. And yeah, that's really it. But nobody really asked me.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Even if someone asks me, you know, it just depends on the energy that I'm receiving from the person that is asking. If I feel like you are asking because it's out of awe and admiration and like I'm a pet, then I'm gonna say no.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But if you are truly inspired by the culture of black hair, and you can tell just from the conversation, then I probably would. But I I that's still a probably. However, asking is important and you saying yes is it's nothing wrong with that because they asked and you gave them permission. You understand?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_00:Did that teach you anything about setting boundaries with friends or strangers?
SPEAKER_01:Yes. Um, I'm now not really uh afraid. Afraid to let them know what my boundaries. Boundaries are and I feel like that's because of my confidence has grown since then. And also just don't touch my hair.
SPEAKER_00:What about when you have to insert those boundaries? Do they respect them? And if they do, how do they receive it?
SPEAKER_01:Most of the time, yes, and sometimes it'll be surprised because I don't think they expected for me to really voice out my opinions.
SPEAKER_03:And so Oh yeah, no.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Cause like during seventh grade, I was like a people feaser and I just gave people my snacks and everything. Like when they asked all the time. And then like over time I realized like the only reason we do talk is because I'm giving you snacks. And so when I said no, they were like, really? And they kept asking me over and over again. And I kept saying no. But I feel like um since I used to give them snacks all the time, that they're like, why is she changing up now? Mm-hmm. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:When did you start to notice you were people pleasing? Like, what was the thing that made you feel as though, oh, I am also not honoring myself whenever I am allowing them to only befriend me because I'm offering snacks or they're asking and I'm giving. And like at what point were you just like, I'm tired of this, you know? Did it just happen? Like one day you were just like not feeling it. Like what happened?
SPEAKER_01:Probably because they were mostly like, you know, junior high boys, and so like they're freaking annoying. I'm like, you're only talking to me because of this. Like, we don't have any other conversation unless you want something.
SPEAKER_00:And so I'm even also schoolwork, I think I remember too. Like wanting you to help them with their schoolwork all the time, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like you're not giving me anything. Mm-hmm. And that's when I like it was like probably end of seventh grade. Cause in eighth grade We also had a talk about, I don't know if you remember that.
SPEAKER_00:No. We did. When you told me about um that situation, and you would be giving them snacks. And I think you were just telling me, just walking me through your day, because you know you will walk me through your day, which I love. And unlike your brother, he'd be like, good, good, great. Yeah, not even great. Yeah, he did. One day, yeah. So I said, How was school? He said, good. I said, how was practice? Good. I said, how did you do? Great. Yeah. Like he did. And so you will walk me through first period all the way to the close of your day. So that's what was going on. You was walking me through your day. And so when I heard that, I said, um, do you do this all the time? Like, are they always asking you for your snacks? And he was like, Yeah, pretty much. Like, you know, you were telling me that. And I said, okay, well, be careful. Make sure that they're not only befriending you and being cool with you because you have something to offer. Like, if you know that they are good friends to you, and if you ever needed something from them, they would give it to you, fine. But don't let it always be you giving, and you're not also receiving, you know. And so I also think that as well started waking up your mind. Like, what in the world am I doing? Like, how would they respond? Are they talking to me outside of this particular class that I give them snacks, you know? So I believe that helped as well. And then I think we even talked about it through high school. It's like they're still the same way to some degree, you know. Yeah. Won't we won't name drop, but you know, like asking you for answers, you know, for a quiz or a test or something like that. And you like, no.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Especially if they aren't trying. Cause like if we're in this together and you don't know, and I know, like, I'm gonna give you the answer. But if you're not trying, don't even try to ask me.
SPEAKER_00:That's right. Because it especially in group projects, you know, that's a group, it's like a cooperative thing. You know, if I'm not gonna be pulling, you know, 80% and then you pulling 20.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:You know, that's not that's not right. That's not fair. You know, the only thing I try to teach you is boundaries and also not allowing nobody to play in your face, you know, because they will. People will definitely go as far as you allow them. And if they have a problem with you standing up for yourself and you asserting those boundaries, then those are not your people. You know, I we talk about that all the time. Because y'all ain't gonna be playing my baby. Okay. Do you want to add anything to that? No, okay. Would you say it affected your confidence in any way when we were speaking about uh the girls touching your hair or people commenting on your hair?
SPEAKER_01:At the moment, I'm not sure. But setting those boundaries probably increased my confidence.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. Especially seeing the reaction, too. That helps. Because sometimes when you are people pleased, you just don't want them to get mad.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But now I don't care. I know that's right. Okay, now let's balance this because it wasn't all drama. Your experiences. You won best hair in your kindergarten class. The whole classroom was obsessed with your styles. Girls would come in and like, I want hair like hers, you know. What did it feel like to be admired? Or do you remember?
SPEAKER_01:I don't, but there's this one time in gymnastics where I won like best hair too. You won best hair? I did. I think so.
SPEAKER_00:I'm pretty sure. I don't remember that. Now you telling me something I don't remember. Girl, we need what we need some fish oil vitamins. I don't remember so. Okay, come on. Tell okay, what did it feel like to be admired just receiving obviously, okay, what what gymnastics team was it? I think it was one of the ones here, gym kicks. Okay. I think so. So you want best hair in kindergarten and Virginia, and then you came to Texas and wanted to. So that's consistent, honey. So that means that hair was on point. Okay, so um, tell us about the story in gymnastics and how did it feel of being my art?
SPEAKER_01:Okay, all I remember was they were just I don't know. I just got called for best hair and I stood up, said thank you, sat back down.
SPEAKER_02:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01:That's all I remember, but I do know that I want best hair.
SPEAKER_03:Mm-hmm. Did it feel? Did you were you surprised, I guess? No. Why? I mean, it was like just looking around like I said, what? Just looking around. Just looking around.
SPEAKER_00:I knew I had that in the bag.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. But you all but okay, so gymnastics classes are pretty small, especially at the level that you were competing, because the higher the level, the smaller the group gets sometime. But you also wanted in your kindergarten class. It's like over 25 people, you know. And uh I was very surprised. I didn't even know it was a category being offered. Y'all were being awarded certain awards, and that was one of many of your awards was Biz Hair. And um, I was just like, oh my gosh, thank you, thank you, thank you. All the hard work. But um, I wonder, sometimes I wonder if that was even a category before they saw your hair.
SPEAKER_02:Mmm.
SPEAKER_00:Like, what if you inspire them to create that category because your hair was always in these little eclectic, different looking styles and patterns and stuff?
SPEAKER_01:That's cute.
SPEAKER_00:I said that's cute. Did it make you want to experiment with your hair more?
SPEAKER_03:See, I don't remember.
SPEAKER_01:What do you think you were even flattered at winning it at all? I don't think I really I don't think it meant like a lot to me. It was just nice to be recognized.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Not like be recognized. Yeah, but to be recognized. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think it made me want to try more hairstyles. Mm-hmm. Just go with the flow.
SPEAKER_00:Like, that ain't my job. That's my mama's job. Like, maybe it inspired her. As for me, I don't care.
SPEAKER_01:I'm just sitting there getting my hair done.
SPEAKER_00:How do you feel now when someone compliments your hair?
SPEAKER_01:I feel so happy inside. Cause like I already love my hair. And then someone adding a compliment onto that, it just makes me feel amazing.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Can I give them a little compliment back? Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03:Did you receive compliments also before you colored a copper?
SPEAKER_01:I don't think as much. They were still in that growing phase, too. Yeah, and I just wore them in the same two-pointy toes I'm wearing now, like every day. Yeah. I wore it down once before we colored it. It's um something comp I complimented it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Anything else you want to add to that? No. No. Moving on. Let's talk about your hair care lock routine. Walk me through your typical hair day routine for school.
SPEAKER_01:For school, we're gonna do when I need a retwist and when my hair is freshly retwisted. Okay. So my hair is like freshly retwisted now. So I take off my bonnet, you know, comb my fingers through my locks, make them lay down. And then I usually do two ponytails like this with the back out. And like with some little bangs and stuff like that. Or I'll do like two low ponytails up or down. It just depends on the stage where I'm at. Cause freshly we twist it. I don't like having them down. Mm-hmm. And then when I need it. Why don't you like having it down? Um it just my locks just like stick up and it's just too fresh for me. When it's real fresh, I just need it in a style. It looks cute in a style when it's freshly retwisted.
SPEAKER_00:I can relate to that. I didn't like my locks down either when I had a fresh retwist. My go-to was the two low ponytails.
SPEAKER_01:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And then when it was needing to be redone, that's when I rocked it down.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then when it needs to be retwested, like after wash day, and then we wait until we have to retwist it. Uh, we're down. But I have to like spray my hair so it will lay down because my new growth's real, it's real. It's a lot of growth. And that density. Yeah. And I will not put it up at all. When it's up, you can like the back of my hair, the part that's out, you just see like a whole bump of the bottom.
SPEAKER_00:So when you put it up in the two ponytails. Yeah. Okay, so the back that's out, the hanging down part.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's just like a whole bump.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And it's just not flat.
SPEAKER_00:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01:And I bring out a new hairstyle, and I could put it up in a pineapple now with a shoestream. And I really like that one. That one's super cute.
SPEAKER_00:It was super cute.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I can't wait till I need to retwist so I can do it again. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Whenever I first saw you do the pineapple when you showed it to me, I loved it. It I mean, it it just went so well with your face, too. Not to mention like how it looked, but it just complimented you very well. And I remember asking you, are you gonna wear it to school? Because I wanted you to wear it to school. And you were hesitant. So what I noticed was you were completely okay wearing that hairstyle at school. I mean, at home and just around the house or around the neighborhood in Copper's Cove. But when I mentioned school, there was some hesitance. Like, is what what was what was that? Like, is it like at school? You just more, I don't know, reluctant or um, probably.
SPEAKER_01:And there's just like more eyes. I don't remember being reluctant though.
SPEAKER_00:You did? You was like, I don't know. And I was like, why? I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:I do not know. Yeah, you were reluctant because you said I don't know. I said, why? I think because the back, when I turned to the side, it just wasn't flowy and it just laid down. Like flint? Yeah. So it'll be like in the ponytail, but it just down at an angle. And I wanted volume. And so when I turned to the side, it just didn't look like an actual ponytail. But I'm like, whatever. From the front it looks cute, the back is none of my business, and I went to school.
SPEAKER_00:You went to school. Yeah. And it was cute, okay? Alright.
SPEAKER_03:Do you have a favorite part of caring for your hair? Oh, you lead it up the mommy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I don't think I have a favorite part. I think I just like seeing a process. I mean a progress. What progress? Which one? Like um my hair growth. Mm-hmm. Cause this time around, when you retwisted it, it wasn't like awkward when it was finished. And it didn't like stick up everywhere. Like it it was it was laying down.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. The fresh retwist will so now you feeling more confident as it gets longer to wear it down after a fresh retwist. Okay. Alright. Do you like trying new styles or sticking to what you know?
SPEAKER_01:For convenience, I like sticking to what I know. It just helps me get out of bed and go to school. Right. Um, and I do like trying new hairstyles when I have time. Cause the pineapple, I tried that like the night before school just to figure out a way how to deal with like the new growth. Cause I didn't want to have to keep spraying it for it to lay down. Mm-hmm. Um, and also I like trying new hairstyles like on special occasions, like for homecoming. That was a really cute hairstyle.
SPEAKER_00:It sure was.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:You look like a queen.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I was like twists, like twist to the scalp, and then it was up in like little I don't know. What are those called?
SPEAKER_00:The loop? Um it's a certain uh terminology terminology for it in the lock community. It's like uh it reminds the what it's called, it's it kind of reminds me of a um a utensil or something. But it's like those loops, y'all, like you fold it into these circles.
SPEAKER_01:It was like butterfly wings or something.
SPEAKER_00:Girl yeah. Yeah, but it was cute. It was cute, and we pinned it up and made the bobby pins allowed to stay up and it looked like a crown.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, we had to back out. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00:And it was so, so adorable.
unknown:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Any mistakes you made growing up with hair care that you learned from?
SPEAKER_01:Cutting my locks.
SPEAKER_03:You feel like that was a mistake?
SPEAKER_01:Well, probably no, because it made me realize how much I actually do love my locks. But I will not do that now at all. So probably it was just like a learning step, not a mistake. I don't think there's any mistakes because I'm happy where I'm where I am now.
SPEAKER_00:So I believe mistakes quote unquote, or just having to go through some experiences with life. It'll it's like the best teacher. You know, trying something and realizing, like, actually, this is not what I want. This is not, you know, what I thought it was gonna be. At least now that's a check mark that you can, you know, hit on the box and be like, well, I know I don't want that no more. And this actually made me miss my locks. So now I know I do want my locks. I know for sure now. Yeah. The locks you have today, which ones you like the most? Back then or today?
SPEAKER_01:I like back then because it there was like way more locks, I think. And I just like tiny locks. They're so cute to me. And when it gets like real long, you could do like cute little hairstyles.
SPEAKER_00:I think your locks, I think they're the same size. They may have looked uh smaller back then because you were small. And as you get bigger, some things, well, now I can't use that analogy, but I do believe they were. I think the density of your hair has changed a lot too. Because it's taken me about the same amount of time to retwist. I don't remember the number that we counted back then, but it was like 260 something. So maybe we should just count the loss and just see. Yeah. If we're at least close to what we had in the past. Yeah. But I really do think the density of your hair has changed, and you just have more hair at the scalp opposite back then. It was still a little fine.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it definitely was.
SPEAKER_00:Mm-hmm. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I do believe that too.
SPEAKER_00:You made another mistake. Oh, I did. Listen, now this was a mistake. Okay, now her cutting a loss, that might have feel like a learning curve. But honey, she made a mistake. And like I said, mama remember if she don't.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Would you like to share that?
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
unknown:Come on.
SPEAKER_01:We're in Hawaii. I was like three, four. Mm-hmm. And I woke up, my hair is in a pineapple, but there's like strays of hair all over the place. And so I asked for some scissors, and I just cut it off.
SPEAKER_00:And let me tell y'all, she didn't get them scissors from me. She definitely Got them from her daddy.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Because if any kid comes up to me asking me for some scissors at the age of three or four, uh, what you need scissors for? And she found out too. I assure you, of course I did. I'm sitting there, you know, because she wants to go to the store with her dad. And I'm sitting there brushing her hair up in the, you know, just the little strays of hair that she mentioned that were out. I'm just really just brushing them back up. I'm not, I don't Did I take the ponytail out? I probably did take the ponytail out, knowing me. And I'm brushing the back corner of her hair. And I notice it just keeps sticking out. And I'm like, what in the world? So then I take my finger and comb it out, and it was like a piece this short. Y'all like an the hair was like an inch long for the ones who prefer to listen instead of watch, so you can get a visual representation of what I'm talking about. And the first thing I said was, Did you cut your hair? What did you say? I don't remember. Me either. Did I lie? I don't think you did because I would have remembered the lie. I don't think you did remember. I mean, I can't lie. It's right there. Oh, I lied when I cut mine. And it was a whole ponytail. Oh my god. And I remember. I just came back from a softball game. And my brother Wimp had his baseball game. And we went to um May Ree house afterwards. That was just kind of like the ritual. We always go to her house after games and stuff. I don't know why. And so we went to her house, and me and my cousin Scooter was in Maine Ree room. And I don't know why we were in her room because, honey, we knew that room was off limits. Like, I don't even know what we were being banned. We knew not to play with Ain't Rhee. And she had some kitchen scissors, those black scissors. I mean, they're mama had my hair in a ponytail, and I had bangs at the time. And I looked at Scoot. I said, dare me to cut my hair. And he was like, I dare you. Girl, I took them scissors. I ain't just cut my hair. I cut the whole ponytail off. And then threw the ponytail in her toilet and tried to flush it. And hair don't flush. Not that much hair. That much hair is not going to flush. And when I went home, and at that time, mama was still combing my hair. So when we got up the next morning for her to comb my hair for school, and I could tell she was figuring it out because she was, it was slow strokes. It was like she was trying to figure something out. Like she, I could tell she she knew. And she was like, Did you cut your hair? I was like, no. I was like, no, I didn't cut my hair. And she was like, Yes, you did. I said, no, I didn't. She said, your hair is short. You did cut your hair. Your whole ponytail gone. So what'd she do to it? I forgot how I went to school. I don't remember. I was just so traumatized that I did actually cut my hair. Like, what was I thinking when I came back to my senses? I don't know. I just remember just that. And going to school with that on my mind all day because I had to come back home and hear her mouth again. Because, you know, it went a lot worse than that. I'm just not, I'm for disclosure reasons. I'm not going into detail how my mama got on me. And so, and I just remember like panicking at school, like wanting to stay at school all day long. I did not want to go home. And then when I got off the bus, she was laying on the couch when I walked in the house. And she, as soon as I walked in the house, she was like, I know you cut your hair. And I was like, No, I didn't. So then I go in the back room and I'm back there crying. I'm like, but I really didn't cut my hair. I'm like, yes, I did. Why did you gas at yourself?
SPEAKER_03:Why?
SPEAKER_00:Look, my look, my lobe was not developed. That's what we're gonna blame it on. We're gonna blame it from the lobe. But to this day, it just never came back up. But if she was asked, I'd be like, yeah, Mom, I cut my hair. I mean, if she watched the podcast, she definitely gonna know I cut my hair back then. But sh then again, she probably don't even remember. And uh she was so good at hair care that um I think she just buckled down and just took care of my hair. And just paid attention to it more and kept my hands out of it. So, how do you decide when to retwist or maintain your locks?
SPEAKER_01:So it'll be like I'm a schedule now. It'll be two to three weeks after the retwist, and then I'll wash it whenever it gets like itchy. The hair and scalp be talking down it. And then I'll wait another two to three weeks and then we will she'll wash it. She'll get all in there and then she'll retwist it. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, we let you wash it for the in between, and then when it's time to retwist, then I wash it. Yeah. Let's talk about the Who Cia, y'all, when it's time to shampoo her hair. Let's talk about that.
SPEAKER_01:I don't like it. Why don't you like it? Cause it's just hair like only on my scalp. And it just feels disgusting. Cause like when I'm in the shower and I'm washing my hair myself, and like I'm getting wet and my scalp getting wet, it doesn't feel weird. But when it's just just my scalp, just your scalp.
SPEAKER_00:What does it feel like? You say it's disgusting. Is it slimy? Like what like is it a feel like that or it just feels disgusting?
SPEAKER_01:It just feels like some yeah, I just feel like something's pouring on my head. It just don't like it. I just don't know how to describe it. I'll pay more attention next time. I just I just don't like it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. She and it's not that she, you know, won't allow it to happen. It's just a process. She allows it to happen, but going through it is a struggle. I think it's like a sensory. Yeah.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, let's talk about identity. Because your hair journey is really your self-discovery journey. It's been growing in different stages with you. I feel like you've you've had a lot of different hairstyles. What does hair mean culturally to you?
SPEAKER_01:Uh I've learned that locks um in Africa, they mean like inner strength. And to me, throughout this entire like hair journey I've been through, I've learned that like discovering myself and just persevering through like those hard times where I like had doubts in myself to now where I have like this high confidence in myself and in my hair and what I do. And I just feel like it just made me who I am today.
SPEAKER_00:Mm-hmm. I love that. Think girl magic. Do you feel proud to wear your hair naturally? Every single freaking day.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Cause like what the heck? Like, why not? Tell me what the heck.
SPEAKER_00:I love that because there are still, you know, black women, black little girls that are still trying to get to that, you know, place where you are emotionally, you know, with their hair. And for you to already be there and you're just 16 years old. I'm just so proud of you. Thanks. Thanks. Do you think hair affects how people perceive you?
SPEAKER_01:I don't think so. Because hair's not like on me. It's a part of me, but that's not like who I am. Like my personality, I feel like that counts enough for people to see who I am and not my hair.
SPEAKER_00:That's right. I'm I'm happy that you're not so deeply rooted and connected in that way because hair is not loyal to us. Anything will make it fall out.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:You know, if you overprocess it, it's gonna break off. If you have some autoimmune disease, it's gonna fall out. Um if you overmanipulate, anything you do to it, it's it's like, yeah, I'm out of here. You know, like it has no commitment to it. So I'm happy that you are there with your hair. It's like it's like an addition.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like an accessory.
SPEAKER_00:It's an accessory. I love that.
SPEAKER_01:Hey, high five hair five.
SPEAKER_00:What do you love most about black hair culture?
SPEAKER_01:Black hair culture through social media I learned that like braids, they they taught they taught slaves how to like escape. Like literally maps on their heads. And so that's just so beautiful to me, because it shows that like throughout the years we have like persevered through so much and we found a way to you know to our freedom, which we rightfully deserve.
SPEAKER_00:That's right, ma'am.
SPEAKER_01:And we got out of there. So that's just amazing. Keep persevering, guys.
SPEAKER_00:That's right. I love it. Oh, you are so amazing. How has hair helped shape your personality? If it did.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like it didn't. Like it's a nice thing, but my personality doesn't like come off of my hair. Cause I'm still goofy and I'm still like the same little weird kid from seventh grade who had that little fro.
SPEAKER_00:That's right. That's absolutely right. Yeah. Just because you have hair on your head, it doesn't remove who you are from here in your heart, you know. You're still gonna be goofy without the hair. You still gonna be the weird little goofy kid, you know, without the hair. The smart kid, you know, the track star, the gem star, or just the beautiful soul, you know, who you are, you know, without that hair. Love it. Do you feel your hair tells a story about you?
SPEAKER_01:I feel it does because people in eighth grade when when we reattach my locks, they'll be like, um, like what happened? And I get to tell them the whole story. And like they'd be like, oh, I did not know that. I'm like, yeah, very discreet.
SPEAKER_00:A mystery. Mysterious.
SPEAKER_01:Mysterious. Yes. So I love telling my story when they ask.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, good. If you could wake up with any hairstyle tomorrow, what would it be?
SPEAKER_01:I feel like I just at the moment want long locks. Cause I just, ooh, I would just love to style them and not having to worry if like, do I have like enough hair? Like long enough hair. Like I could put like two little buttons. That's so freaking cute. And just wearing a scarf with like the back of my locks like hanging out of it, or like in a bun on top. I love that vibe. I really love that vibe. I just can't wait.
SPEAKER_00:What I really love too is even though you're not there yet, you are making away with the length that you have instead of not appreciating where you are now. Because for some, you know, black women, we go through these different length stages in our hair. And because we're not at that end goal, we don't appreciate where we are right now. You know, so I love the fact that you appreciate every little stage that you are having to experience with your locks, even though the end goal is to have them long.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So you can do all these different hairstyles, and that's okay. But also appreciate where you are.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, because I appreciated my hair nils two inches long. You did. I appreciate it at every single stage. But my locks are right here, right here.
SPEAKER_00:Like, it's just gonna keep going down. That's right. And you did. Like, I have not ever heard you come to me pouting about something you couldn't do with your hair. Yeah. It's like you just whatever it was doing, you went with it. You know?
SPEAKER_02:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Do you have a favorite product you can't live without um being realistic, probably shampoo.
SPEAKER_01:Cause my hair's not gonna be dirty. I can live without like some edge control or some mousse or like anything, but my hair's gonna be clean. I know that's right.
SPEAKER_00:I know that's right, girl. My baby did not say no. Edge booster Nairobi. She said, clean this hair and scalp, and we good to go.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. Who taught you the most about hair growing up? My mommy. Hear what I'm saying, Kenesha Stewart. Hey. That's right.
SPEAKER_01:Do you have anything else you want to add? Um love your hair always, guys. Because it's amazing and it grows out your own head. And it's uniquely yours. Yeah. You can learn a lot more on my mommy's podcast. So go check it out.
SPEAKER_00:Do you want to shout out your social media just in case these people want to follow you? Put a face to a name just in case they're only listening.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you can follow me. My TikTok is all about magic. M-A-J-I-K. And then my Instagram, I think it's all A-B T underscore magic.
SPEAKER_00:M-A-J-I-K. Yes. And I will also leave her information in the show notes just in case y'all did not get all that info. Until next time, thank you so much for being a wonderful guest on my podcast and also for accepting the invitation because you know I've been wanting to get you on here. So I appreciate you for letting down your guard and going outside of your comfort zone and element, you know, because you're very shy to share with us today. So thank you for your time. Thank you. As moms, we hold memories our kids forget, the ones that shaped us just as much as they shaped them. And here my daughter reflect, even in her quiet way, reminding me that sometimes your child doesn't have to remember the moment for the moment to have meaning. What I do know is this black hair is just not hair. It's our first language, one of our first boundaries and first expression of identity. And raising a daughter with natural hair locks culture and pride. That's a journey. One that deserves to be talked about, protected, and celebrated. So if you're a mother listening, keep pouring to your babies, even when you think they're not paying attention, even when they grow up and forget the details, your love is planted, it's growing in them, and one day they look back and realize how many seeds you watered.