293: Tahnee McCarthy On Motherhood, Her Husband’s Life-Changing Farm Accident & Finding Herself Again

Tahnee McCarthy is a paediatric physiotherapist, mum of two, and stepmum to one living outside Wagga Wagga in New South Wales. The life she’s building with her young family has been shaped by extraordinary challenges. After the traumatic birth of her first baby and undiagnosed postnatal depression, Tahnee was navigating early motherhood when her husband Aaron was involved in a catastrophic farming accident that changed everything. Aaron lost his leg that day — but somehow saved his own life. What followed was a journey neither of them expected. While Aaron channelled his recovery into becoming a Paralympic snowboarder, Tahnee began searching for herself again through the chaos of motherhood and farm life. A chance moment opened the door to something she didn’t realise she needed. This is a story about loss, love, and what’s possible when a family refuses to let life’s hardest moments define them. This is her story. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

This episode of Motherland is proudly supported by Cable, a brand celebrated for its exceptional Merino wool knitwear. Merino is where Cable's story began, and this autumn they're returning to their foundations with a beautiful new range of jumpers, cardigans, tees, and elevated essentials. Crafted from premium 100% Australian Merino wool, each piece is designed to be timeless, luxurious, and wearable season after season. The Autumn 2026 collection showcases modern yet enduring silhouettes that instantly elevate your everyday wardrobe. Explore the new arrivals in store and online now. And thank you so much to Cable for supporting Motherland and our incredible community. And when was the last time you had space to think about your goals? If you're a parent or carer wondering what's next, the Parent Pathways program is here to support you. It's a free, voluntary program offering mentoring, financial assistance, and genuine personal support to help you achieve your goals, whatever they may look like. Whether it's building your parenting skills, studying for your dream job, getting your driver's license, or simply finding your confidence again, Parent Pathways meets you where you're at. Eligible parents can access up to $1,250 per year. Search Training Alliance Group Parent Pathways. T's and C's apply. The link is in today's show notes. Hi, I'm Stephanie Trithewey, the founder of Motherland, a national charity that supports rural mums across Australia. Welcome to the Motherland Podcast, where each week I share with you real and raw stories of motherhood told by women on the land.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

I certainly didn't expect to be widowed twice by age 51. I was so scared when he was born. I felt so alone. And I remember sobbing to her as I just said, what have I done? It's a wild roller coaster we're all on.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

So no matter where you live or what you do, remember we're in this together and you're not alone. So what's it like to raise kids on the land? This is Motherland. Tany McCarthy is a pediatric physiotherapist, mum of two and stepmum to one who lives outside Wagga in New South Wales. The life she's building with her young family has been shaped by some extraordinary challenges along the way. After the traumatic birth of her first baby, Tani was quietly navigating the early days of motherhood with undiagnosed postnatal depression when her husband Aaron was involved in a catastrophic farming accident that would change their family's life forever. Aaron lost his leg that day, but somehow managed to save his own life. What followed was a journey neither of them could have imagined. While Aaron channeled his recovery into becoming a Paralympic snowboarder, Tani found herself searching for who she was again through the chaos of motherhood, trauma, and rebuilding life on the farm until a chance moment opened the door to something she didn't realize she needed.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

We had a fundraising event for Aaron because he was going to go and do a season in Gindabine and we'd had a fundraising event somewhere along the way. And I saw this wellness coaching thing on Asylent Auction and was like, oh, I'm just gonna bid on that. And so I I bid on it and I won it.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

What unfolded next was a journey of rediscovery, healing, and learning to lean on the power of community. Tani's journey is about love, loss, and what's possible when a family refuses to let life's hardest moments define them. This is her story. Tani, welcome to Motherland.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

Thanks, Steph. Thank you so much for having me. I have listened for a long time. I love your podcast, and I feel so, I guess, blessed to be amongst an amazing group of women sharing their stories.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

Well, thank you for saying yes. You and I met at Motherland's Deniloquent event and had a quick chat. And I immediately immediately said, I'm gonna call you once you've had your baby because you were pregnant at the time. I said, I'll leave you alone to have the baby, and then I'll I'll be in touch to do the podcast. So um that was it'll be coming up to nearly a year ago by the time this goes to air since we met. Um, but for those who don't know you, can you introduce yourself? Tell us a bit about you, where you live, and your beautiful family?

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Beautiful. I'm Tani, I'm 38. Um, we live on a small property outside of The Rock, New South Wales. It's about 40 K's from Wagga, it's our nearest, biggest city, I guess. Um, I'm married to my husband, Aaron. Um, we'll get to Aaron's story a bit later, but he's an above-knee amputee as of four years ago. Um, and I met him about 11 years ago. And we have two beautiful children of our own, and Aaron also has his son. So Noah, Aaron's son, my stepson, he's 12, about to move into high school. My first child, George, is nearly five, and he's about to start kindergarten here at the central school. And I have a seven-week-old Isabel.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

And so tell me a bit about where you're from. Like, where's home for you?

SPEAKER_00 5:41

Yeah, home home for me is all over the place, to be honest. I was born in Leyton, so in the Riverina. Um, we grew up in Narandra, Leighton, and Yanko. Um, I went to Yanko Primary School and Narandra Public School, and then for year six we moved to Sydney. So we moved to um Narellandville Camden area of outer western Sydney. And um, yeah, that was a big, a big transition, I must say, going from a school of, you know, 100 and something kids to primary schools of, you know, thousands of kids. And my sister's going from primary school to high school, from U6 to U7 was my sister. Um, and she went from a small school to, you know, 2,000 kids in a school. So it was a big transition for all of us. But we moved to Sydney. I did all of my high schooling in that area, and then I went to the University of Western Sydney to do a medical science degree. Um, and then from there we kind of all went our own ways as family. Like my grandparents were always in Albury, Wadonga. So I came back to Albury for uni as a physio. Um my sister stayed in Sydney a bit longer but migrated back as well. With my parents ended up in Dinelliquin, where my grandparents on my dad's side live. Um, so my parents moved over there because my my nan was quite unwell with cancer, and then Pop was unwell, so they kind of stayed there. And then now we're all kind of in this little circle around Wagger, the Rock, Henti, Lockhart. We're all kind of half an hour from each other.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

And your childhood obviously, you know, then transitioned into university and medical science. What was your, I guess, hopes and dreams? What was the plan and and why medical science?

SPEAKER_00 7:22

Medical science was a bit of a bridging for me. I let's just say I was a very distracted teenager growing up in Sydney. I academics was kind of not my focus. I had an academic group of friends and a group of friends that probably led me more astray. And I was a little bit wild and rebellious as a teenager. Um, and as high school was finishing, kind of had to pull my head in and go, what am I going to do here? And I I knew pediatrics is kind of the area that I wanted. So whether I wanted to do pediatric physio or pediatric medicine, I wasn't quite sure. Um, I loved science and I loved medicine in high school, so I went the medical science route to give myself some time, I guess, to make up my mind, um, which was good. And then, yeah, towards the end of that, I still wasn't sure about medicine or physio. I actually had an offer to go to a bridging course in in Tassie at Utaz, but I put that on hold for a year to decide and then got a last a last round offer into physio, kind of at the same time as I had to decide on that Tassie. So I I decided on Physio, um, knowing that I had family in Aubrey as well. Um, and also I wasn't sure that the commitment of you know 12 years of of union to do pediatric medicine was on my plate. I just wasn't quite sure I'd be committed enough to do that much. So then yeah, I came to came to Aubrey and did physio. Um I lived with my uncle for a little while and then my partner at the time. And then after studying physio, I knew I wanted to work in invisibility. I grew up with a friend with cerebral palsy, uh, and I just knew that's where I where I wanted to dedicate my time. And yeah, I worked in a in a charity organization, a not-for-profit for a while, and then I moved to a private practice and set up their pediatric service, which is where I still work today. And then over the past few years, or actually I think in 2023, I graduated from my master's of advanced clinical practice in pediatrics. So I specialized in title. Well, I titled in pediatrics, so I can now call myself a pediatric physio.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

Amazing. And you would have had what a two-year-old or something at the time when you graduated.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Yeah, I actually um did a subject when George was six weeks old. I started I started that degree. Yeah, I started that degree um not long after we got married, and I was studying through my mum's diagnosis, and then um yeah, and then Aaron lost his leg. I had things on hold while George was a baby, but after Aaron lost his leg, I I still picked up a subject because I didn't want to not finish it. If I had another semester off, I think I would have taken a long time to finish it.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

Yeah, it's incredible what you've done, and you touched on a couple of things that we're gonna get to, but I want to take you back to take us through what was happening uh before you met Aaron in your life. Um, you were working, but take us through what was happening for you leading up to meeting your beautiful husband.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Yeah, so I um I'd gone through a really bad breakup after finishing uni in Albury. Um we'd been together for four or so years. It was a rough breakup took a couple years to get over. And to be honest, I was just in a time of my life where I was enjoying friendship and fun. Um, in my mid to late 20s, I was just enjoying having fun with my friends, and I wasn't actually looking for a partner at the time. I was like, I'm done with men, I don't need them. And I was just house-sharing this brand and enjoying myself. Um and I just happened, yeah, I just happened to meet Aaron at the pub, the classic, the Victoria Hotel in Wagga, it's like classic pub, on a Thursday night of all nights, because we'd just gone to have dinner and and listened to some people make fools of themselves in karaoke, and he had finished his TAFE course and was celebrating with a mate. So it was just a a random encounter, to be honest. But um, yeah, so at that time my mum had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Um, and mum and dad were still living in Dinelegan, and my sister was in Aubrey. Um that was a bit of a bit of a shock to everyone for mum having that diagnosis. I think the first time Aaron or the second time Aaron met mum was actually the day of her her biopsy surgery.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Oh wow. Yeah. That's that's hard, you know, having having such beautiful news as in meeting meeting your future husband while, you know, you're obviously heartbroken over your mum.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

Yeah, yeah, definitely. And and it was um I guess Noah was only 18 months then at the time too, so it was an exciting, an exciting time to be like, you know, I've met this guy, there's a little 18-month-old boy that he spends time with, that's his son. Like, yeah, it was really exciting. And mum had just met Noah a little while ago as well. Um, yeah, exciting but also hard. Hard.

SPEAKER_02 11:59

Yeah. What was it like for you meeting Aaron and meeting a bloke who had already had children or had a child? Like what was that? What was that like for you, honestly?

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Honestly, I can honestly tell you. A couple of years earlier I'd had a conversation with a friend, and I was like, I don't know if I could ever, you know, pick up a a child. I actually had a stepbrother and sister growing up, um, and my mum really struggled with relationship with them, and I saw that, and they were hard to manage. They'd had a bit of a trauma background themselves. Um, one of them went, they both ended up going back to where they were from essentially. But um, yeah, I'd always kind of said, Oh, I don't know if I could do that. And so the night I met Aaron and I, you know, we talked and and we got along really well, and my friend was like, Do you guys really hit it off? I was like, Yeah, but there's a there's another child involved. Can I commit to that? I don't know. Um anyway, we got to know each other over a good period of, you know, 12 months or so before we started making things official. Um and and we actually didn't realise there was such a big age gap between us when we first met and first started seeing each other. It took a while for us to work out that there was seven years between us.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

Seven years, I don't think that's too bad. Sam and I are six years. I suppose when you're young, it doesn't sort of matter as much potentially. Although with kids and potential family situation.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Yeah, it does I don't think it matters too much. We're we're on the same page, to be honest.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

Um but yeah, breaking the news, though I guess family friends are like, oh, that's that's big, and we're like, is it I suppose what's big is um you know having a child in the mix, as you say, you know, not just having the two of you to think about, but having Noah, and also at a time when you're trying to be there for your mum. So take us through how did your relationship with Aaron blossom and and also at the same time, how is your mum's health journey going?

SPEAKER_00 13:49

Yeah, so I mean, we took 12 months to get to know each other before we made it official, like a just a long time, really, to really get to know each other, spend lots of time together. Um, for me to get to know Noah. We had really raw conversations about, you know, Noah was Aaron's priority, and I understood that. And and also Aaron was going through like the custody battle with Noah at that time. So I was really trying to be there and support him through that as well, which was quite stressful. Um, they had to go to court to get orders in place. Um, but you know, since that's happened, that's beautiful. Like we have a really good routine with Noah, he's here alternate weekends and half holidays and things. But I I think just taking the time to really understand each other and know each other was really important for us. Um, and and to get to know each other's, I guess, flaws and quirks and things like and accept those for what they are. Um, and at that time my mum went through, she ended up having a double mastectomy. So her results from her biopsy didn't come back great. Um, so she ended up having no, only single mastectomy, sorry, she had a mastectomy. Um, but it wasn't until a few years later that she ended up having a reconstruction. Yeah, so when she had a reconstruction, she actually stayed with us. Um but yeah, I got to know Aaron. Aaron didn't Aaron didn't live on a farm, didn't grow up on a farm, but he'd always spent time on farms. So the property we live on now he had access to because it was his auntie's, um, and another friend's property he had sheep on as well. So he loved Haggard School. And so I just got little bits of exposure to farm life, but not too much, because for me it was all new. I'd not done anything on farms other than my uncle in Mount Beauty having a dairy farm and we'd go there for for holidays a little bit. Um yeah, so just taking time to to do that, and and you know, Aaron really supported me with mum and I supported him through his his court and Noah stuff. Um yeah, it was a really nice couple years, even though it was stressful at times. It was still nice to have each other in that.

SPEAKER_02 15:50

Yeah, and so tell me about that transition then. At what point, you know, did you move out to the farm and what was that like for you before kids?

SPEAKER_00 15:58

So we weren't actually meant to uh technically weren't meant to buy the farm, but universally we probably were. Um fate has its ways. But we had actually brought a block of land at The Rock in a new area and we're going to build. And the bank said to us, Oh, that's an expensive house to build. We don't think it's worth that much, so we're not going to approve your loan. Um and we were devastated. Um, in the meantime, Aaron's auntie had owned this property. So she had actually brought it off um Aaron's dad's friend um who had passed away. The the wife sold up, and Aaron's auntie said, Oh, I'd like to keep it for the family. So she purchased it as an investment. She never lived on it, never ran it as a farm, just used it as an investment and leased it out. Um, so when our our build fell through, we were like, What are we gonna do? And we just kind of sat on it. We were living with Aaron's parents at the time, trying to save money to build. Um, so we're like, sorry, we're here a bit longer. And we just um just sat on it for a while, and then Aaron's Anie kind of turned around and said, I think I want to sell the farm. And we were like, Whoa, that's big. How much do you want for it? And she actually gave it to us for a really good price. We would never get that price on the market. Um, and so we sold our block of land to be able to buy the farm, and we just jumped at the opportunity. Um, and you know, it came with challenges like because of the size of it, we had to operate it as a business essentially. We had to buy it on a as a business loan, and um, yeah, we just kind of fell into into farming and fell into business, and it's taken us quite a few years to find our feet, but we're getting there. And what do you run there? Uh we just have sheep and cropping, like cereal crops.

SPEAKER_02 17:37

Yeah. And so that transition to farm life, at what point, you know, that's a lot to take on, you know, falling into farming or having to step up and really make it a bit a proper business. At what point did you guys talk about starting a family of your own on the farm?

SPEAKER_00 17:52

Um so we brought the farm, we had tenants in it, and we kind of talked about like getting married. I really wanted to get married before I had children of my own. I think committing to the relationship and yourselves before children is um something that I just hold dear, I guess. It's not everyone's opinion, but that's how I felt. And I felt that like we should always come before children in life in general. Um, so we talked about getting married. Um, we before we got engaged, we'd actually picked a date. So random. Um, and we'd kind of almost picked a location as well. Yeah, we'd almost picked a location too. Um, but yeah, we talked about that, and and then it kind of was just like the farm and business was one thing and running a family was another thing. We kind of were like, we have to live our life still while trying to make this work. So yeah, I didn't we didn't really play too much into like how much money is the farm making and can we afford kids? It was more like this is our life and this is how we, you know, we need to get on with life and what we want, and the farm will do what it does and we'll just make it work.

SPEAKER_02 18:59

That is an amazing attitude to have. Doesn't always work, but you guys have just made it work and you've got this beautiful family now, not without its challenges. Tell me about George. George is five. Tell me what was it like becoming a mum for the first time with him?

SPEAKER_00 19:15

So, George, pregnancy was beautiful. I must say, we're very lucky to fall pregnant um easily. Um we so we had timed him. We had timed him as best as you can to not be a harvest baby. But um, so when he was born, it was through COVID and everyone's like, oh, he's a COVID baby. I was like, No, he's not a COVID baby, he's a not harvest baby. He had to come at this time so we could get around sewing and harvest and not be in the sick of things because Aaron still worked full-time for someone else, um, another farming corporation. Um, so he worked, you know, anywhere between 50 and you know, 80 or 90 hours a week during harvest and sewing for them, while I worked my full-time physio job, and then we did our farm in the background kind of thing. So, yeah, conceiving was beautiful, timing was it worked in our favour essentially. Um, but George's birth was quite, I would say, traumatic. He was a um cesarean under general anesthetic. So starting off my my motherhood journey, um was a yeah, not what I anticipated. I, you know, you go into birth feeling like you can do this and positive, and you do all the birth education, and I think we probably went in a little bit naive too, like a bit naive and hopeful, like, yeah, we've done some education, we can do this, um, and hopeful that things would go to plan, but we didn't really have the education behind us about like the hospital system and what you what you can and can't say no to and things. But essentially I'd gone into labor quite um naturally, and we went into hospital um because my my waters had meconium in them, so we had to go in being out of town. Um, and they put the CTG on, so we were CTG monitored. And after a few hours, they'd lost his heart rate a few times. Um, and it got to a point where they lost it for for quite a few minutes, so the they pressed the button on the wall and and sent us to theatre. Um and as we got down to theatre, I remember my big wife like holding my CTG on my tummy the whole way down, like literally sitting on me the whole way down to theatre as they're running. And um as we got to theatre, they're like, there's no time for a for a epidural or a um a spinal, so you're you're going under. So we kind of didn't get any, other than you know, experiencing a little bit of labor and contractions, um, we kind of didn't get any birth experience. We didn't witness George being born. Um, Aaron couldn't stay in the room because I was under general, so at the time that was the policy. Um yeah, so and then I took a long time to come out of recovery just because my temperature wouldn't come up. So it's about five hours before I could see George. Um, so when I wheeled in to Aaron and George, Aaron had George on his skin, doing beautiful skin to skin, and he Already fed him some um Waustrum and stuff. But yeah, that was I guess that was a a rough entrance. And so I did have lots of um emotions over the few days that followed George's birth, you know, trying to tell family while I was the exciting news while I was like half drugged under general still. Um I remember falling asleep on the phone to people as we're telling them George's name. Um, and then coming home and just having some complications. It was like bowels and stuff for the few weeks after. Um, and just not being able to, I guess, really enjoy those first few weeks because I was so sore and tired and just emotional from from that experience. I just felt I guess I just felt ripped off. Like I felt like I just gave birth, but did I? Like I just felt really ripped off. And it took me quite a few years to come to terms with that and eventually saw a psychologist for that. Um, but I do remember a point. Are you happy for me to keep talking through? I just remember a point when George was about six months old and he went through a sleep regression. And it was COVID, it was isolation, we had terrible phone service on the property. Like there would be days where I couldn't receive calls and texts on this property. Um and I just remember one day like just losing my shit over nothing. Like nothing. And I was like, what is happening? And so I jumped online, I did some panda, I got onto Panda, I did their questionnaires, and I went on to like Mum Moo's space, and I was just like, Yeah, I've got postnatal depression. Okay, cool. And I think just labeling it for myself was enough for me to accept it. And I didn't do anything about it. It wasn't until Iron's after Aaron's accident and the fact that we had to go to Zach that I then started to talk about it. Um, but when I started to talk about it, I realized how much of an impact it his birth really did have on my parenting and my temper and how I guess how I guess angry and ripped off I had felt about that whole experience and how I kind of wasn't the parent that I wanted to be because of that.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

That's huge, and thank you for sharing that so honestly. You know, as soon as you said that you were under general for the birth, I mean that that in itself, you know, that that disconnection, that oh, just being knocked knocked out while you're birthing your first child, I can't I can't imagine what that is like. And and then for you to have to, well not have to, but you felt like you you bottled that up for so long and and uh you know, taking us through what happened next because George was what only what one when your lives turned completely upside down.

SPEAKER_00 24:36

Yeah, George was about 10 months old when Aaron had his accident. So I I recall it really vividly. I had called my dad that afternoon and wanted to just have a chat. I mean, dad's hard to contact sometimes, doesn't always get back to you, and then yeah, so I'd called him wanting to have a chat, and then I was like, oh well, I'll just go and put George in the bath. Um, Aaron had worked all day at at his farm, and I think they had to stop because machinery broke down or something at his workplace. So he came home and he's like, Oh, I'm gonna try and get on our old header, which is like an old Hornet baggage or PDO header. Um, he's like, I'm gonna try and get out on our header and try and harvest the crop that I've I've given a go this year. Um I'll just be like, you know, out there giving a go. I was like, yeah, you know, I expect you not to come in until the sun goes down, that's fine. I'll do dinner and George and I I fed George dinner and spaghetti was everywhere. Everywhere. But I was like, okay, I'll put him in the bath. And my phone rang. I was like, oh, it's just dad. I'll get that later. It's fine. And then I'm bathing George and it rang again. It's like, okay, I better get him out. Um, and I I got him out, I got my phone, we went to the change table, I was drying him, and the phone rang again. So I picked it up. It's a private number. And I picked it up, and they're like, Oh, is this tiny? I'm like, yep. They're like, your husband Aaron's had an accident on your farm. I was like, is this a spam call? Are you joking me? Like, I just thought it was a hoax for some reason. I was like, what? And they're like, no, my name is whatever from emergency services. Your husband has had a bad accident on the farm, and I need you to go and find him right now. I was like, oh, crap. Okay, so I had wrapped George in his towel, he was butt naked, and I just was like, Yep, he was at she said, Oh, he's at the machinery shed. So the machinery shed is like, I can see it from here, it's like, you know, 50 meters in front of me. So like, okay, I'll I'll run to the machinery shed, and I just got my songs on and I ran. And as I'm running to the machinery shed, I'm calling out his name, and she said, Oh, he's in a really bad way, and he might not respond to you. And then my phone service just dropped. Like, nothing. Just nothing. I was like, holy crap. And so I looked around and I could see where he was going to harvest. Um, and I saw the header over there, I saw his Ute over there, and so I raced back to the cars at the house. He I put George in his car seat naked, and I drove over to where he was. And yeah, I essentially I parked head on to him, and he was laying kind of facing at me, and I just saw his shin. I just saw a shin bone hanging at me at no foot, and I was like, Holy crap, what happened? And his and literally he just looked at me, can I swear? He literally looked at me and said, Yeah, sorry hun, I fucked up. And I was like, Oh my god, what do you want me to do? And honestly, Steph, I am in shock at how alert he was. He had already tourniqueted his leg when I got there. Like I threw the towel on him and tried to tighten it, and I couldn't do it any tighter because he'd already tourniqueted tighter than what I tried. Um so poor George is naked without a towel now. And um, yeah, I just remember like going, Oh my god, what do you want me to do? And he was so sound of mind. He was like, Emergency services are on their way. I've already called them. Um like, I was like, okay, so what do I do? Like, you're breathing, you're alert. He goes, Can you just like go and direct them? I was like, okay, what's the best, quickest way to get into this paddock? And he was like, the gates are open here, here, and here. I was like, okay, so that's I just came and parked at the end of the driveway and waved them all in. Um, and there's not until after that I like heard and understood Aaron's story that I realised how much he did to save his own life, essentially. He luckily his phone was in his pocket when this happened. God, thank God, instead of leaving it in the cab with the tractor. Um, but he he got stuck in the front of the header, so it's in a header, he he snapped his leg off essentially, it dragged him across and snapped it off below the knee. Um and he crawled all the way on his back to the tractor to cut off the engine so that he could hear and notice his services, and his phone call dropped out on them a few times as well. Um so he did that, and then he they told him to take his shirt off and tournique his leg, which he he did. Um so when I got there, he was great and he didn't pass out the whole time and he stayed alert the whole time. And not until we got to Canberra did they knock him out completely for surgery, but I just it was just a rush of adrenaline. Like for me, it was like, okay, they're in there, they've got him sorted. What do I need? Well, not what do I need, what does my child need? So that's when I was like, How long are you guys gonna be? And they're like, as quick as we can. I was like, okay, that doesn't give me much. I raced inside. I left George in the car with the no, I brought George in and put a nappy and a onesie on him, and the nappy actually broke. I recall the nappy breaking at one point, and I was like, too bad, it's staying. Um, and I raced inside and I got a freezer bag and I filled it with bottles and breast milk and ice packs and had everything he would need for a few days in the car, including clothes, nappies, etc. Um, and that was him sorted, and in the meantime, I'm trying to frantically get a hold of our family. So, out where the accident happened, there's no phone service. We struggled with phone service at the house as well. Um, I eventually got onto my mum via messenger, actually, and I was like, Mum, Aaron's had an accident. I need you to come to the farm. Like, I just need you to come to my farm. And she was like, Okay. So she got in the car and drove to the farm. In the meantime, I finally got onto Aaron's mum, who was on her way home from work, and I was like, Aaron's had an accident, I need you to come to the farm. Like, he's chopped his leg off, and she was like, What? And you know, it's just that chaos of. And I was like, just come to the farm as quick as you can. And so she gets to the farm in time for me to go, here's my car, my baby's in it, everything he needs for a few days is in it. I'm getting in that second ambulance. She's like, and where are you going? I was like, I don't know. I'll call you when I'm in there. And all I had was my wallet, Aaron's wallet, and our two phones. That is all I had on me. Um, and then on the way in, I we'd passed my mum. Um, and I'd called my boss's wife, and I was like, Kim, I'm I'm not coming to work in two days' time. Aaron's had an accident on the farm. And she's like, when she tells me this story back, she's like, You are so calm. How? I was like, I don't know. Anyway, she's like, Okay, what have you got? I was like, Oh, I've just got our phones and wallet, and I'm going, I think we're going to the airport to fly to Canberra. She's like, Okay, great. How long will you be? I was like, I don't know, we're on our way, and we've got a police escort, or we've got, you know, four ambulances and um, I don't know. She's like, okay. So she actually met me at the airport with a bag of clothes and food and lollies and phone charges and hairbrushes and toothbrushes and the things that I needed for me because I had nothing. Wow. Which was so beautiful. But yeah, I think in the moment, um, I just did what I had to for my family, and Aaron stayed really calm. And yeah, I just I sat in the ambulance and waited for them to be ready while I fed George at one point. I did look over at the wrong time and still of them pull the leg from the machine and was like, oh, that was not great timing. But um, yeah, and I just even even the ride in in the ambulance, though, like the the beautiful ambulance officer that was in the vehicle with me, she's like really positive and I appreciate that. She's like, oh, you know, they can do amazing things and attach legs. And I just looked at her and I went, honey, I saw that leg. It's not going back on. I said, and it's okay. I'm okay with it. I looked at her and said, I'm okay with that, as long as he's alive. I I can rehabilitate cast a leg. I can't rehabilitate a lost life.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

And I think just being that Tani, just the the the that you're so calm. I don't know how you were able to be. It sounds like the two of you are two of the if if if there is a crisis, you want Tani and Aaron around. Like that is quite extraordinary that you were both able, particularly him. What is it? Was it adrenaline or is that your nature? Because I feel like that is not how I would be, just because I feel like I know myself. But is that how you've always been? Just cool, calm, collected in a crisis, or were you just, you know what, my husband's alive, just got to get on with it?

SPEAKER_00 32:43

Yeah. Um, Aaron is cool, calm, and collected all the time. He's chill as a cucumber. I am the stress head. In our wedding vows, I was like, You are the calm to my storm because I'm the stress head, the temper tantrum, the really not so calm person, the I have to be organized, I have to be, you know, that's me. But in that moment, I think adrenaline and you know, that just that I think that instinct to look after your family and your loved ones just kind of came in. Like, what does everybody need from me at that time? Um, I think that's what it was for me. And I I don't know, like I had George in my arms. There was even in all of that chaos, there were some beautiful moments. George thought it was hilarious running butt naked to and from the shed. Like, and I just remember in that moment of chaos and stress, going, Is my husband alive? Where am I gonna find him? Looking at George and going, that's so beautiful. Like, that's just a little moment of joy in that. And so I think you know, just seeing that from him just is just that little like motivation to be like he needs us as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:51

The fact that you can find the tiniest glimmer of joy and hope in such, you know, a catastrophic situation. I know he he lived, but still losing a leg is is huge. Um in that, you know, in that chaos, to find that joy, I think is just such a testament to you, Tani. I think that's just incredible, like that that finding that joy and I guess a little bit of gratitude amongst it all. And I wanted to ask you about that because it's you know, yes, it were you were cool, calm, and collected, you had to be, that's that's what you kind of slipped into. But take us through the recovery because there's the accident, but then there's the reality of life after the accident, motherhood after the accident, and your mental health and Aaron's mental health as a farmer who's lost a limb as well.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

Yeah, uh the first I mean, even at night having to make a decision about whether we go above knee or below knee, like that decision kind of fell on me with his medical team. Um, and I think just I being a physiological hospital and seeing lots of amputees just throughout the years, I think I just kind of made that decision that I didn't want to spend the next two years in and out of hospital with a below knee amputee trying to recover and heal. I was just like, take it above the knee, just do it. And I think, you know, in hindsight, we're very grateful for that. Um, because Aaron's recovery was really quick. He was back in Wagga two weeks later. Um he was very humorous from the beginning, to be honest, and dealt with it all with humour. He played tennis socially and you know the night. We have discrepancy here. It was in recovery that this happened, but he thinks it was on the ward. But I'm like, no, you were still sucking on icy poles in recovery, and there was only one person, it was a dark room. Um, but he said to me, Is Dylan Allcott still competing? I was like, Oh, I think he's retired. He's like, damn it, I want to beat him. I want to get in a wheelchair and beat him.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

I was like, Oh my god, how amazing.

SPEAKER_00 35:52

So he kind of just had this humorous way of dealing with it, making one-legged jokes from the beginning, but also um just this get on with the attitude, like I'm gonna do everything. It's not gonna stop me, kind of attitude. But it doesn't mean that the first six to eight weeks weren't extremely hard. There were some really dark mental health days in that six weeks, eight weeks, twelve weeks, even. But he did try to manage by getting straight back into sport. Um, so yeah, he was out of hospital back in Walga two weeks later, Christmas Day, he had day leave, and he actually made me bring him out to the farm, and he hopped on his crutches out to his grain bin to check. It's like I want to go to the farm. It's like, do you really? He's like, Yep, I do. And he hopped on his crutches out to his grain bin to see how much he got from his harvest, which our neighbours so kindly finished for us in all the chaos. Very grateful for the support of our community. We'll get to community support in a minute. Um, yeah, so just determined to not let it stop him, to be honest. Um, and within I think six weeks of being home, we were travelling to and from Canberra weekly for wheelchair tennis training. Um, and after that he got into wheelchair AFL. But I mean, there are times in that first six weeks where we just we just broke down. Like Aaron would be watching the kids play on the trampoline and he would just walk away and and cry and I would be like, What what what do you need from me? And it's just it's just that unknown of like, will I ever be able to do that again? Will I ever be able to enjoy playing with my kids, chasing after my kids? Um and yes, we've learnt to adapt and he has ways of of doing things now, but he still can't run and chase after them like he'd want to. So it's still it still is hard, and I'm sure it's still hard on him. But then I mean, finding his snow sports has meant that he has an outlet and something to do with the kids that he loves and can and can do better than them as well.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

Um really incredible. Incredible what he's done, and I want to I don't want to ask about that in a second, but I also want to ask about you first before we talk about Aaron and and what he's gone on to do, which is extraordinary. You mentioned earlier that you know you realised you were suffering from postnatal depression, but you know, you you buried it, you didn't get any help at the time. Aaron has this horrific accident. Did it come to a head for you? When did you get help and what was that like for you? How did you work your way through that period for you? Because I imagine being the part the partner of someone who's gone through that accident, of someone with you know, that must be really hard too in its own way.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

Yeah, there's actually a recent article on um Paralympics Australia or Snow Australia about Aaron, and he said, you know, I hid all my struggles from my family because I didn't want them to see me struggling and I didn't want them to struggle. And I kind of said to him, That's so true, but I struggled with you. Like, you know, I and his mum said, Oh, I didn't realise he struggled so hard. I was like, you know, that's because it was behind closed doors and I coped that. Like that was my struggle too. So yeah, my my mental health did struggle, but I really just I did put on a brave face for a long time and was like, I need I need to be there for Aaron, especially while he got going and got walking and got back to to work and doing the things that he loved and transitioning from, you know, working for other people to then working for himself and changing our farm structure and stuff. So I really stood by him through all of that, and it kind of we were kind of forced into like post-traumatic um counselling. And I I had a a psych that I just really didn't connect with. Yes, it helped with some of those initial like stress and anxiety things from the accident, but I felt I didn't feel comfortable enough to tell my story and my family story to that person. So I did find a beautiful perinatal, postnatal psych later that year. So that was like later in 2022, and we really debunked a lot about my history, like growing up with step siblings, um, you know, mum and dad, kind of divorcing or relationship falling apart at the time that we're falling in love, essentially. And then, you know, George's birth, um, having mum while I was pregnant with George, having mum stay with us through her reconstruction, and then she during that time got septic and broke her ankle, and just feeling like responsible for some of that as well, just like carrying that load. And then um, my dad also having like post-traumatic stress from abuse and defense um when he was younger, and that all kind of came out when mum got diagnosed with breast cancer. So it was all these like lots of stuff happened all at once, and I kind of just had pushed it down for years and years and years and years, and that beach ball gradually started coming up, and I and that's after Aaron's accident, my temper was so short, like just little things, like something not going in the dishwasher properly, and I would lose it. I would swear and lose it, and I just was not the parent I wanted to be for George or Noah, to be honest, and and and Noah's relationship struggled there too, because my temper was just so short and we we do clash in general. So yeah, I I kind of after talking to Rach and and breaking down all of that, I I realized how much of an impact it had on my life. And then early in 23, um we had a fundraising event for Aaron because he was gonna go and do a season in in Ginger Vine, and we'd had a fundraising event somewhere along the way, and I saw this wellness coaching thing on a silent auction and was like, oh, I'm just gonna bid on that. Like that that sounds cool. That sounds like something I might need. And I think wellness is something I've always thought about. Um sorry, I'm just gonna give him up. Sorry, I'm just giving a mum bong. Um warmed up. No, um, yeah, wellness is something I'd always you know thought about in my career too. Like, do I just want to be a physiologist or do I want to be more holistic and about wellness and about, you know, the whole family unit when I'm dealing with my children? Um and so I I bit on it and I won it. And so I went through and did this wellness coaching thing with a wellness coach. And it was at the same time that we did a season in Ginger Vine, so I kind of disconnected a little bit from the hustle and bustle of the farm and walker. And it was it was a lifesaver, I found I I realised at the start of that when I started talking to my coach. I the first thing I said to her was, I'm lost. I don't actually know what it is that I love anymore. I am lost after Aaron's accident and I'm lost in the chaos of parenting. And the Matrescans journey was not what I thought it would be, and I am I'm lost. And so we we found me again over over the next kind of nine months working together and through that um time in Ginger Vine as well.

SPEAKER_02 42:35

That's so so important and so special that you took that time for yourself because so many mums don't, you know. And unfortunately, you know, listening to you talk about everything you've been through from your parents, your mum's health, the accident, your your birth story, everything, you know, there's so much there. I can't believe how long you carry that weight for, you know. And I think unfortunately for mums, sometimes we wait until we explode, like literally, mentally or physically, sometimes things happen. Um, so thank God you got that support. How do you feel now? Um, because I want to get to your second baby and and Aaron's journey, but how are you now after putting in that work?

SPEAKER_00 43:10

Yeah, and I'm and I'm still putting in that work. I still I still regularly see um see my psychologist, and I think that's really important because things come up as a as a parent as well. Um, the parenting journey is a bit wild, and I'm always looking for support, advice, and reassurance there too. But um I yeah, I'm I'm good. I I do feel um like I am a much calmer person and um I can handle stresses a little bit more than I used to. Even actually, yesterday is a good example. I was at the dentist and I'd gone in prepared for a filling, and I was having three, and I felt I just remember feeling the most relaxed in a chair at the dentist than I have ever before. Um so I think I've just learnt lots of calming stress management strategies that have helped me along the way.

SPEAKER_02 43:58

It's so important, and I guess. Um, you know, heading into motherhood the second time round for you. Hopefully, I know you're only seven weeks in. Hopefully, that's been a very different experience to your experience with George early on. But before I get to your second birth and your second baby, can you just I I feel like it's kind of good to jump to can you just tell everyone where your husband is right now?

SPEAKER_00 44:20

Yeah, my husband right now is on his way back from I think Switzerland, but he's also been in Landgraf in the Netherlands. Uh he's on his way back from a uh snowboarding camp and competition, and he is trying to get a spot in the Cortina Paralympic Games in March next year as a Paralympic snowboarder.

SPEAKER_02 44:47

March 2026?

SPEAKER_00 44:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:50

March 2026. By the time this goes to air, we might by the time this goes to air, we might know that that outcome. But um, okay, Tani, seriously, you know, what I love about this story, and I think it's really important, it's there's there's a lot of trauma there, of course. But looking at what Aaron's been through and what you've been through as a family, and then looking at where you guys are now four years in with two beautiful kids and and him really not letting that accident define him and creating this new, almost new career. I don't know where farming sits with all of this, but how did he get into the snowboarding and and and and was that something you expected from him? Because again, Cool Calm Collected seemed to have handled it well, but not everyone who has that trauma, you know, has the strength or motivation or care factor really to go and then turn it into you know competitive sport when he's got one leg. How did that come about and how has that shaped him in this next journey of his life?

SPEAKER_00 45:45

Yeah, so he he chased sport initially, like he did the wheelchair tennis, and he ended up getting an ITF Federation like number um and competed in Australia, so he got a world ranking through that, and then he went through AFL, wheelchair AFL as well. So he played two years of wheelchair AFL um in the national tournament, and he got like best and fairest at MVP um for New South Wales, rolling rams in those, and he's done wheelchair basketball just like socially, but it was not long after his accident when we just wanted to get back to you know doing things, and going to the snow was something we'd done a few times, we'd started to learn to snowboard together, um, and I was absolutely terrible, my do. But he he enjoyed it, and and it was kind of one of those things that like, oh, we might want to go to the snow one day. How are we gonna navigate that? And um, Ossa, who create some of the prosthetics, they run mobility clinics, so they do like on the snow, on the green for golf, um on the water. Anyway, I I put Aaron's name down for Ossa Mobility on the Snow Clinic, um, and I told him we're gonna do this, and he's like, Yeah, sure. And so we did, we got in that year, um, which I think was 2022, so he was I can't recall the date, sorry, it's all a blur, but not long. I think it was within 18 months of his accident for sure. Anyway, he did that clinic, he did it on his normal walking leg, so he didn't have any special prosthetics, just his normal prosthetic. Um, and he kind of set some goals for that weekend. So Joni Joni Badenhorse is a Paralympian female snowboarder, um, and she was the coach that weekend, and she kind of said Jimmy, what's your goal? And he's like, Oh, I'd love to get down a blue run by the end of the weekend. So, not a beginner run, but a next level run. And and she's like, Okay, that's a really big goal. And he was like, Let's do it today. So, and then it and then I think it became a conversation about let's do it before lunch. Um, but she took him aside because he he was getting it really quickly. She's like, let's just go and do a little run and see how you go. And and by the end of that weekend, he he kind of had the motivation, like Joni had said, you could you could make something out of this if you wanted to. Uh and we'd spoken to a local Josh Hanlon here in Wagga who is a sit skier, so he lost his limbs in an act in um an illness as well. And he's a sit skier for Australia, and he talked at the event. So we nutted out a few things with him and asked him lots of questions, and Aaron was like, We we could do this. Um, and so I actually took a photo of him leaving Ginderby's born wreck that weekend, sitting next to the Olympic rings and the the training centre sign, and I was like, Let's take a photo because this could be you. Um and here we are, yeah, just a couple of years later. And yeah, so last year we we moved as a family to Ginderbine um for four months over the winter. We uh rented out a little a little house behind someone else's house. We got George daycare and preschool. I put him in five days of care for the first time ever. I felt extremely guilty, but actually loved having the time for myself. Um I worked still from home, so I did two weeks of telehealth and then I came back to Wagga for one week and did face-to-face. Um so I juggled traveling to and from while Aaron kept George locally, and Aaron was in a full-time Parish Sports program over there. Um and then straight after that he he went over to Landgraf for the classification events, and he did his first international season last year um and and came away winning the European Cup um in his classification. And then yeah, so in all that, there's been some fundraising. I mean, Aaron's sister did a singing contest and fundraised for disabled winter sports Australia and Aaron um as a joint venture. And yeah, there's been organizations like DWA that have have helped him along the way. Like he had guides on the snow for the first, you know, 12 months or so, and he just he kind of just jumped in and took every opportunity. Um, after that also weekend, he that that following year, he said, Okay, like how many camps can I do? Like DWA have camps, Snow Australia run a few futures power camps. Like, how many how many can I fit in? How many days on snow can I get? Um, so he did that the first year, then the second year did the parachute program while we moved to Gindabine, and then yeah, this year he went over and was on a um developing athlete contract and and just built his skills through his coaches.

SPEAKER_02 50:01

Wow, you must be incredibly proud of him. And I guess I just wanted to know very quickly before I move on to your motherhood journey, um, what does farming look like for him and for you guys these days since the accident?

SPEAKER_00 50:14

So after the accident, we we had to really think about how much um Aaron could do. Like fatigue is is definitely still a big thing for him, and managing fatigue and energy expenditure is something we had to think about. Um and so we got in a share farming arrangement. Um, and so we have a share farmer who does most of our like cropping and harvest work. Um Aaron has started to help out a bit more though, like this year. Um, and then you know, with the sheep work, we just invested in some equipment to make it a bit easier for Aaron. Um, and then we have a young, there's a young bloke who's who wants to get into some shearing. So we've just like kind of helping train him as well as helping give him opportunity, but taking the load off Aaron at the same time. Um so it's just a bit of a restructure around how we how we do this. And then Aaron was working for someone, someone else. And I don't know, I think that was a little bit about acceptance, like people not thinking that he could do as much as he actually can, and he felt like he wasn't accepted and and a little bit undervalued. So we ended up deciding that he would work for us and contract his labour as both a mechanic and uh um farmhand, depending on what what people needed. So yeah, he works for a couple of local farmers when he's home and contracts um and yeah, and obviously makes money for the farm that way. Um, but in saying that, he two days before he was due to fly out for this recent trip that he's on, he said to me, the barley's good to go. I'm gonna harvest the barley. It's like you've got 48 hours, mate. He's like, Yeah, I'm gonna do it. So he put in a huge effort and harvested our barley. And it was like nine o'clock at night when he got back from the silos. I'm like, you leave at five o'clock in the morning and you have a packed. I was like, what do you want me to do? And at this stage I have like a four-week old, three-week old.

unknown 52:03

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 52:04

Um like trying to harvest while he's harvesting, and then was like, okay, go you're on your own to finish the packing while I go to bed.

SPEAKER_02 52:13

Wow, that's extraordinary. There's no stopping, stopping him or stopping you guys, the both of you. You seem like such a beautiful, strong couple, as in strong for in terms of support for each other, because no doubt you've had to, you know, anyone who's married to a farmer or farmers, you know, know how much sacrifice that takes, let alone now having to also sacrifice to support him chasing this new dream. In the middle of it all, you've had your second baby. What has it been like for you second time round? I know that you when we spoke um before we recorded, you said you had a very healing experience with your second. Take us through that and what it's been like. I know it's still early days. I I did, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:53

Um, I honestly I invested so much time and energy into I guess manifesting and wanting a beautiful birth experience this time. I was not going to settle for anything less, essentially. And I was still open-minded that things go wrong, things can happen, but there are ways to make it beautiful when things do go wrong and things happen. Um, so I spent a lot of time reading, researching, podcasting, everything, probably to the detriment of my work, actually. My my clinical notes probably went down a little bit in um quality. Still acceptable, but I um yeah, I I invested a lot and I made Aaron Listen to podcasts, and we talked a lot about it. I got on the local, our local hospital just started a midwifery grit practice program while I was pregnant. That started up, and I was like, I'm on that, like, get me on that straight away. And I handed them until I got a spot essentially. And then we talked about um, you know, because George's birth experience was so negative before that point. We talked about whether we go for an obstetrician or not and go private. But then the more research I did, the more I was like, well, actually, that's probably gonna medicalise it some more. Um, so why don't we get abdullah? So we invested in Abdullah this time, which was so amazing, just to have someone guide us in preparing for birth, but then also to be there postpartum for me while Aaron's traveling, which has been amazing. Um, and cheaper than an obstetrician by the time you add Abdullah. And so with MGP and Abdullah and all of that information behind us, we yeah, we went in and had planned for a VBAC water birth. Um, and we faced a lot of questions along the way, definitely. Every time I went into the hospital for an appointment, someone would question something like, you're a VBAC, you can't have a water birth, that's not our policy. Um, and I just wanted natural and physiological, I wanted to trust the process of birth, I wanted to trust my body, and I kind of felt like I had to prove it to myself after George and not progressing through labor. And I, you know, I there's always this thing in the back of the mind, like, was it my body? Was it my fault? Was there something I could have done for that birth for it to be different? Um, and I know now that obviously there's not, and I couldn't change his head position because he was async, I couldn't change all of that. Like there's yeah, but if I had been educated a bit more on, you know, positioning and different things I could have tried, maybe it would have been different. But I the other thing I've learned in the whole last five years is to give myself grace a little bit more and just trust a little bit more in myself, and so I I now know that I did the best at the time with George with what I had, knowledge-wise and physical-wise. But this time I, yeah, we were determined and I armed myself with all of the tools. We had a birth sling, we had a rebozo, we had pens machine. Um, I'm not into crystals, but I had crystals, I had a birth comb, and I just we just kind of did open-minded everything we possibly could. I did perineal mass arts beforehand, I saw pelvic health physio more than I had in the past. Um and and we did it. We had a a beautiful calm birth. Um it was, yeah, we we got into the hospital. I'd had the tens machine on all afternoon, and and we were just managing. And then Aaron was in control of, you know, the app of timing contractions while I was doing my tens machine boosts, and we kind of worked together on that, and then we had our beautiful playlist going, and it just kind of I don't know, I lost time and it all just kind of flew, and you know, I my beautiful doula got in the shower with me because obviously it's a bit unsafe for Aaron on one leg to want to get in the shower. Um, and then I moved into the bath within, you know, 20 minutes. Isabel was was born and and our beautiful doula captured photos and videos and the moment that Isabel was born, which is something so special after having nothing with George. And then we actually got like two hours of that golden skin to skin time um almost uninterrupted essentially, um until it had to be repaired, which was traumatic, but anyway. Um I yeah, I I'm so grateful that we got a beautiful birth. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:19

It feels like for you, Tani, that that birth was healing in more ways than one, not just healing from George's birth, but several years of pretty tough times.

SPEAKER_00 57:30

Yeah, it yeah, it was. And it and it was a almost a confidence boost to me. It's like uh right now at you know, seven weeks post-partum, I'm like, I can do anything. Don't tell me I can't do anything, I can do anything.

SPEAKER_02 57:44

Oh, and so mental health for you, like you know, the difference this time around must be huge, having that confidence, that positive birth experience, which we can't underestimate the power of as well.

SPEAKER_00 57:55

And I think also like going through Aaron stuff, like knowing that we have support in our family, but also now being able to ask for help. Before Aaron's accident, there's no way I would have asked for help. I didn't ask for help when George was born. I, you know, I didn't tell people to bugger off when they knocked up at our doorstep and we were sleeping. Um, I didn't I didn't ask people to help me clean my house or or anything like that. Whereas now I'm like, I would be lost without our cleaner and I would be lost without our family support. And you know, Isabel was only a few days old when I said to Aaron's mum, Can you just watch her for 10 minutes where I drop George at school? And I I like I called Aaron, I was like, Oh my god, I would never have done that before. Like I wouldn't have left my baby that young. Um, but I think it's yeah, not only is it like my mental health is in a better place and that healing experience and um and everything we've been through and all the work we've put into ourselves over the years, but also yeah, just knowing we have support and and arming myself with community a little bit more than I did in the past. Like I, you know, COVID with George, I didn't have mothers' groups and things. Um I have a motherland village group that I joined in Noah's age group a little while ago, um, who have been a beautiful support through this as well. But then also like finding local groups like at the Breastfeeding Association and Um a local little group of mums at the rock here, like just arming myself with all the support I can this time around to know that I'm not alone and to yeah, make this a smoother postpartum journey.

SPEAKER_02 59:27

Oh Tani, it's what a beautiful way to kind of wrap up such a beautiful story. You should be so proud. The thing about your story and what you've just finished on that stands out is I say this um often when I speak at events, it come across as pretty tough love, but it's that no one's coming to save you. And I think as mums, unfortunately, you know, we we internalize so much of our pain and we, you know, think we've got to be tough, and we think, you know, we can't ask for help. And you know, you you've really just that example of someone like you've been through so much, but you've come out and and you've built your own village. Like you've done that. No one else has you've done that for yourself despite everything. You've asked for help, you've put the systems and processes in place, you've joined support networks. Like, and look at you know, and you're reaping the rewards with your beautiful little family now, despite everything you've been through. So um, I remember when we met in Diniloquin, it was a pretty emotional day with obviously some of the themes that we talked about and the speakers talked about, and you were I think you were like 16 weeks pregnant or something, and we had a moment and we both well, you you you cried and I teared up and you didn't know what lay ahead for you with your second baby and everything you'd been through. But here you are um now. So I just wanted to say you should be so proud. And and how do you feel now, you know, early days with with your beautiful little girl, but next year or 2026, you know, how are you feeling about the future now given everything?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:48

Um yeah, the future's exciting, but also like a time of I guess uncertainty, which in the past I probably would have been really stressed about. But I think our our motto and our our life is you know, just take the opportunities that come to you as they come to you, because you'll never get them again, essentially. Um, and and roll with that, and and it's okay to feel a little bit uncertain, I think. So, like for me, I haven't really looked much beyond Milan and Aaron's Olympic games. Like right now, it's just about how are we surviving, financially affording for him to travel and not work, and raising children and transitioning to high school and primary school and you know, having a baby and getting a postpartum period. It's doing that, getting to Italy, organizing that holiday and that trip and that, you know, opportunity of a lifetime to hopefully see R and compete for Australia. Hopefully, we don't find out until three weeks before the games whether he's made it into the games team. So it's pretty tough to not know that level of uncertainty is hard, and we've just had to accept that if he doesn't make it, we're just having a holiday and supporting his his peers and his other athletes. Um, but yeah, just which sounds pretty good too. I know, right, yeah. And and just after that, it's just a bit of like we'll just reevaluate because we don't know what that holds for us. We don't know what comes out of that. Um I love my job, I love being a pediatric physio, and I will go back to doing that at some at some point and in some capacity, and and I have arranged care for Isabel, you know, later next year. Um, but I think it's just, you know, what I in my brain, I'm like, how can I structure my life and my work and everything so that I can be able to be there for Aaron a little bit more and be there for my kids a little bit more and not get into that state of burnout that I was at prior to Isabel as well. Um yeah, so it's really a an uncertain time moving forward, but an exciting time moving forward. And you know, George is such an emotional little boy. He um I'm sure he has some some spectrum quirks for sure. Um, but he he requires a lot of my time, attention, and nurturing. And I do feel like I'm better able to, I guess, be there for him and trying to adapt and more of a calm parenting approach with him, um, which is not something like our parents ever did with us either. So I was trying to like there's lots to break down there as well. And I just, yeah, I'm I'm more now not so, even though I love my job and my career and I will go back to it. I think my family is my priority right now and trying to work out how we make it all work for us.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:28

Well, Tani, you've done such an exceptional job and you should be so proud. I know there's a lot of uncertainty ahead. Um, but yeah, I can't wait to stay in touch and maybe send me a message um a few weeks out. Either way, it'd be nice to update everyone on on how things go with Aaron, but in enjoy some time off, some time away, and just thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm so glad that we that we met in Denny and had that chat. And yeah, thank you so much for sharing your amazing story with us.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:56

Honestly, Steph, thanks for inviting me on. I think it's a like it is an honor to be here, and I am amongst a beautiful group of women who are sharing their stories. Um, and I like for us, it's about sharing that disability shouldn't stop you from doing anything, that you know, having an accident, having trauma, it it's just yes, it's shit and it's hard, but you come out the other side, and and I think as women and as mums, I think we need to give ourselves credit for everything we do and the mental load that we carry for everyone and and know that we are more resilient and probably stronger and braver than we ever think we can be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:36

Amen to that. Tani, it's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for chatting with me. Thanks, Steph. This episode of Motherland is proudly supported by Cable, a brand celebrated for its exceptional merino wool knitwear. Merino is where Cable Story began, and this autumn they're returning to their foundations with a beautiful new range of jumpers, cardigans, tees, and elevated essentials. Crafted from premium 100% Australian Merino wool, each piece is designed to be timeless, luxurious, and wearable season after season. The Autumn 2026 collection showcases modern yet enduring silhouettes that instantly elevate your everyday wardrobe. Explore the new arrivals in store and online now. And thank you so much to Cable for supporting Motherland and our incredible community. And when was the last time you had space to think about your goals? If you're a parent or carer wondering what's next, the Parent Pathways program is here to support you. It's a free, voluntary program offering mentoring, financial assistance, and genuine personal support to help you achieve your goals, whatever they may look like. Whether it's building your parenting skills, studying for your dream job, getting your driver's licence, or simply Finding your confidence again. Parent Pathways meets you where you're at. Eligible parents can access up to twelve hundred and fifty dollars per year. Search Training Alliance Group Parent Pathways. T's and C's apply. The link is in today's show notes.