Episode 89: Depths of a Soul | El Efecto Podcast

Episode 89: Depths of a Soul | El Efecto Podcast 

This week on El Efecto Podcast, Mely & Patty welcome Gaby Meza Flores. Born in East LA, our guest is challenging herself to have hope in the transformative power of art and storytelling. Completing her first independent poetry project, Depths of a Soul, we're excited to introduce our first guest of season 3. 

Gaby IG: la_dramaticaa

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:06

Hey guys, I'm Melly. We're gonna insert Patty here, and we are Elefecto Podcast. Welcome back, guys. Brand new episode of Elefecto. And if you can see this setting, we're in a different room, which means we have a guest. So our guest today, guys, so excited. Um, honestly, this episode is just gonna be super fun, super different. I feel like you're a unique person that we've had, like on this episode so far. It's very different than our normal, you know, audience, but I'm so excited because it still ties back to overall the message of Elefecto Podcast. But born in East LA, author creative, everything in between. We have Gabriela. Gabby, tell us, tell Elefecto Podcast and all of the listeners, who are you? Where are you from? Yeah, just tell us a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

Yeah, so I'm Gabby. Uh I was born in Israel, uh, but I was uh I was moving around all of California, so but uh I consider my home uh Mexico. I was raised in a small town called El Tausal in Sanaa, Baja California. Um and so I've been back and forth my whole life, and that's kind of like informed a lot of my a lot of my decisions, a lot of the stuff I do, you know, and it's embedded in my art because you know it's a bilingual project. So um I uh went to UCLA and I got a degree in uh political science and chicano studies. Yes. And um and so it also informs my art. Uh it's actually based in uh Chicano Studies epistemologies. Um so I'm really excited to talk about it because you know, it's it has kind of everything uh that I am in it. Yeah, and so if you wanna actually know who I am, you gotta read it.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Yeah, I love it. It looks so promo, but no, literally that part, and I think that's something that right away you mentioned it at like at the beginning, but you're you know, you're from LA, but also from Mexico, that's what you consider home. And that definitely when you you know mentioned that to Panny and I that stood out a lot because it's the definition of switchy, yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, it's like it's really both. So I'm so excited to hear about your journey and how that shaped a lot of your storytelling here. And then, like you just said, education, the degrees, Chicano Studies. I know that for myself, like when I first moved to college and stuff, it was definitely a different experience coming from an era that it's like all majority Latino. And I remember moving to college feeling like, oh my god, this is so different, it's a new environment, it's a new world. And funny enough, like my Chicano Studies class, that was one where I was like, Whoa, it opened up like I don't know, I just a brand new world and a lot of things that I honestly didn't know about where we come from and like what comes from that, and it was so interesting. So hearing you like you know say that, and then that's just what inspired a lot of the storytelling today, like what you've done, like it's super like inspiring. So I just want to say that. But um, thank you, yeah, of course. But Gabby, tell us about your story. So, depths of soul, I am so excited to hear more about that. But this is your first just like project, right?

SPEAKER_00 3:47

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's uh the first time I've like intentionally called myself an artist and put out a body of work, so it's my baby, you know, and I'm just like really like excited to get the concept out and tell people about it. So thank you for having me because of course, uh, this is actually the first time I've been able to like promote it, promote it and talk about it. I've been my own PR person this whole time. Everything I've done for this project is DIY. Yeah, so I I wrote it myself, I illustrated it, I binded it, and I'm reaching out to kind of get opportunities to um to promote it. And even uh I got this opportunity where they asked me for headshots recently, and I kind of put my photography studio up. Like oh my god, I love it! I created some chairs and a cloth and waited till sunset and like put it all together so I could take my own headshots. Yeah, oh my god. So everything about it is like is like DIY, and yeah, it's kind of just proof that like anybody can do art.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Yeah, no, that's super inspiring to your point, like DIY as someone who like your definition of like self-made, like you're really doing it, like putting it out there, and it's truly to have everyone around just relate to that storytelling and the like the experiences, and that's one thing about this podcast, El Efecto Podcast. We are the aftermath of our experiences. So I'm so excited to like just jump into it. If you had to describe your creative styles in three words, what would they be?

SPEAKER_00 5:21

Definitely DIY. Um I would say one of the words that I use a lot that is actually uh I learned it in a Chicano Studies class is called Rasquatch. Oh wow, okay. And it's basically kind of like when you take something that's not supposed to be used for something and you use it for a purpose, you know. So it's kind of like when our moms reuse like the butter containers. Yes, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:50

Wait, that's perfect way. Yeah, you know, you know, okay. You open up and I'm like, oh, manteki, I open it to the whole Santa B together.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

Yeah. So that's that's kind of the idea, right? Of it, that you can take stuff like the first copy that I ever the first cover that I ever made to kind of start uh binding the books, I made it with a cereal box.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

Oh wow. So wait, yeah, what?

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Oh my god, I love that. So that's kind of how I started like testing to see if I could bind it myself, and it came out, it came out okay. Like it was kind of weird and lopsided, but I kind of started getting the idea, yeah. So that's kind of what's behind that word, yeah. And then also it's just I would say one more word is spiritual because it is very it the title is literally depths of a soul, so you're just literally going in, you know, like in deep into the soul. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Um as someone who read the book, I can confirm a hundred percent. And I swear I I was telling Gappy guys that I read this earlier on when we, you know, we we were supposed to meet earlier on, and at that time I was like, whoa, but I read it again last night as a refresher, and I swear I had a moment where I was like, oh my god, because it's your story, however, it's so relatable until you're like literally what you just said, it's deep in the soul where it's like I feel like so many people around can relate to this because it's true, like meaning of life, honestly, like those experiences that you've gone through and like all of that, like it's a lot, it's a lot, and you know what?

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Every time I read it, I kind of get the same thing. Yeah, and then I it's in the it's in somewhere in there in the notes, right? But I get a little embarrassed. No, I'm like, what the hell? I'm looking out here kind of like throwing up my soul onto a piece of paper, and it's just so personal, you know. Like when when art is personal, it's scary to like put it out, yeah, and I think a lot of times that's what stops people. Um, but I'm literally forcing myself to not care at this point, you know, because it's it's calling me, so I need an answer.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

And I'm glad you're doing that because then we got to this point now, and truly, like I and I mean this by all, like, I cannot wait for people to read this. So if you are watching this, please like support, listening, and I'll I'll I'll do that spiel like spiel, I guess, at the end of you know the episode. But yeah, like I'm I'm super excited to dive into this. It's supposed to be and then and then just to make things a little fun and like just personal, this is gonna be super random, so it's not really tied to depths of soul and like your journey. Yes, but we know like what I bring it, you know. I should have brought a little bottle. Um, but if you didn't in the morning, it's five o'clock so far in the bottom. But if you can only bring three things to a carne sala, what would it be?

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Three things to like food, food, yourself, the speaker, whatever it is. I definitely bring, I feel like sometimes people only have one type of guac. Like they either have the blended guac that's like como wallow, yeah, or they have the chunky or either or yeah, so I would bring both so that I make sure that I have both because I like both. There we go, the box. Uh I would obviously bring my vibe because that's like I love it. I am literally the person that'll be there, like happy everybody up. Uh so I I bring that every time, you know. Like if I go to a party, I go. And to a karna sa? I mean, I guess my appetite, you know? I'm eating all the tacos that I can. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

No, that is perfect. I'm like, because it's true, like you're showing up. Might as well, I'm like, hey, I'm here to eat. Like, yeah, yeah. Um, and then this one's gonna get a little personal, but what's your toxic trait as an artist slash creative? I think with the lapses and all, y'all.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

It's because I've been studying with it for the past few months. I'm very impatient. Okay. I'm very, very impatient with myself, yeah, and also with the art because I want to see like good results now, you know, like and I'm learning to like do content right now, for example, and I just, you know, like some of it is like not the best quality, you know, like it's um it's not looking how I want it to, and I'm just like, dang, why can't I just do it right? You know, like it seems so easy how they TikTok and stuff being. 100%. It's not easy, girl. I know, it is not easy. So um, I think that's one of the things that I've been struggling with is like learning to pace myself, and I mean I also have a full-time job, so it's just like I can't expect myself to like go full throttle, you know, like when I'm I'm kind of juggling a bunch of things.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

Yeah, you have to be kind to yourself. And the the number one thing is like, girl, you're doing it. Yeah you know, you're doing it, you're putting in the work, and with consistency and time, like it it comes. Yeah, yeah. So tell myself that everyone, but I feel you, like we're our number one critic. So I get you, I get where you're coming from, and like even myself, and I know Patty can agree to this, but like we have a lot of that when it comes to this, too. It's like, oh my god, we're not seeing the growth we're wanting. We're not like we're putting in work and it's it's hard, it's hard. Yeah, so feel that a hundred percent. Do you ever look at your younger self and think, damn, she'd be so proud of me? And what would you say, or what would she say, your younger self? And I feel like you kind of touched on it a little bit earlier, but like literally you gave it like it's it's your soul right there. So, yeah, like tell us, tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

You're gonna make me cry when you're gonna go. Oh no! I'm an empath, so um, yeah. I mean, of course, like I feel like I just started to have a relationship with my inner child in the past few years, and so a lot of it was uh well, I have CPTSD actually, and that comes with like a fear of being seen, and it comes with a lot of like anxiety and depression, you know. There's literally days where I can't get out of it, like and so I know that as I have my relationship with my inner child, I realized like I just have to take care of myself, and and it's because I need to take care of that child, right? That was scared to be seen and everything at the same time that I'm kind of forcing her to now do something that terrifies us like that it was, you know, yeah. So it's just that that balance is like really important, and I yeah, I know she's proud of me. I'm I'm her, you know, so it's I'm proud of myself, you know. And like every time we do something like this, and I'm a little nervous, I'm just like, okay, come back to God, you know, I got you. Because even though people didn't have her growing up, you know, like they didn't take care of her, like I'm grown now, I'm the adult now, and I get to take care of her.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Oh my god, no, and um, and I again I I because we're gonna tap into your book and stuff, but literally right now, what you just said, there's a chapter in there that kind that speaks to that. And when I tell you, I felt that so hard because I went through a pretty rough time um like a few years ago, and it was literally that it's like if you don't have if you don't have yourself, like if you're how do I put it? Literally, the only person who's got you is you, and and it's the truth, like no matter the friends, your your family, the people around you at the end of the day, it's you, and you need to prioritize yourself and like put yourself first. So the fact that you like what you're saying right now, like the I know to your point, that little girl is so proud of you, like you're here, you're showing up, like everything. So that's so important, and I feel like, yeah, a lot of people like people need to hear that, like because it's it's relatable for everyone, so yeah, that's super touching.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

Yeah, I think, yeah. I mean, it's uh I don't I I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

I forgot what I was gonna say, but that was so beautiful, it just touched my soul. Like, oh my god, no, and it's the truth. Um, and like with that, so when did you first realize you had something worth sharing online or that you wanted to share this to the people, like you know, with the people, to the people, to your point, like you are so vulnerable. I can never say that word, you're so vulnerable, like within this book and story, like, yeah, like it just when did you realize okay, I want to share this with everyone?

SPEAKER_00 14:52

Well, you know what? I've always written as a way to like express myself, but it wasn't until like the pandemic uh happened, I had to go like back home, and um I was living with my mom at the time, and I was just so depressed, and like nobody was noticing me, like I was just doing stuff to like kind of make myself feel better, but not much was working, I'll be honest. And so I was writing a lot, I was writing a lot almost every day, and I would like go to the beach and I would write, and I would like be at home and then when I when I started reading it, I realized that it was starting to sound like like the the writings were starting to rhyme and they were starting to feel like something that I could compile into a book, and I was just like, Well, I don't know if I could do that, you know, but let's start with just putting it how I would put it into a book, right? And then once I did that, I was like, nah, yeah, I need to I need to do this, like so. It's always just like baby steps, you know. Like I didn't even write with the intention of writing a book, but it just started like naturally sounding like that, yeah. And that's a true creative and artist, yeah, yeah. And then it evolves eventually, like uh, because now like the the poems they were rhyming, right? And then now all of a sudden, when I write, I get like melodies, so it's like turning into music. Oh wow, yeah. So I don't know, I might explain that in the future. Do you want to see? I'm not gonna say I feel like I'm gonna elefct the podcast gets to sneak in. I come from a family that like sings a lot of karaoke, and if you don't sing, you're not nobody. So I love it. Kind of forced to that though.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

So yeah. Oh my god, no, I love that so much, and like really, like, I'm so happy that you leaned into that. So that was like a second um like point to this question, but you spoke to it beautifully, like, really, it just came naturally afloat, and it's like, yeah, and like, and you mentioned like no one was noticing, and again, that because I read the book, like, I know you talk into like you tap into that, like it's like really everything that you're going through, and like how you've been through, and it's like at the end of the day, like there's certain things that like you're like, okay, these people aren't noticing, however, I got like myself and you got yourself through it, which is again so beautiful. With that, like, is there a specific poem story within depth of soul that's your favorite, or which which was the most um challenging to write and why?

SPEAKER_00 17:32

I don't think any of it was challenging, I'll be honest because it was literally just your story when I start writing, it just flows out of me. Yeah, like or I could be like driving and I have to pull over because I got an idea, yeah, and I'll like write it in my phone. Yeah, so it's it wasn't hard, honestly. Like, once you get the idea, it just kind of starts flowing out. That's how it happens for me, at least, you know. And so what was the first question? I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

Um, is there a specific palm or story and depths of soul that is your favorite?

SPEAKER_00 18:02

I think I really like the ending because it kind of just wraps it up in this neat, like you know, like it's it's a arc. That's why I really decided to put it together because when I when I put it in the format to the book, I was like, it tells the perfect story, like so. Yeah, I think the last one is definitely my favorite. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

How has your identity as a Latina shaped your writing, your art? And then what has been the biggest challenges as a Latina artist creative navigating that space?

SPEAKER_00 18:37

I mean being Latina it's I think a lot of times we know that we're like very expressive and artistic and like sensual and deep, but we just get kind of cast as like dramatic, aggressive, you know, um spicy. I used to get that a lot. You're so my god, dude, yes. Yeah, like literally, and it's just like, but that's not that's not what's important, right? The passion that's underneath that is like so valuable, yeah. And it's because I think society tells us that it's she's just like she's just dramatic, she's just this, you know, like our own families will tell us you're doing too much, like you're being dramatic. And it's just like no, there's just a lot of passion there that needs to be expressed. Yeah, and so I think that's one of the things that like I I got told growing up a lot. I was always told you're being dramatic. Like it anytime I would have like a stomachache or like you know, I felt sick, my family would be like, I was empezar Maria Dolores, you know, like stuff like that, you know. And I was just like, what the heck? Like every little thing I would get like like told I was doing too much. And so I grew up with that kind of like shame, you know. And so now fast forward a few years ago, actually, uh in the past two days, I realized that it's been five years since I got this tattoo. Oh my god! Oh yes, it's it's um inspired by uh symbolism, uh symbolism, yeah, and uh it just reminds me that like I can reclaim that, right? I can reclaim being dramatic, and that's why my Instagram handle is La Dramatica. My Facebook is La Dramatica because I reclaimed that, yeah. They did a thing that I used to put out my art and to be like my authentic self because I've always been that, yeah, and you know, I get a lot of opportunities to tell people like it's because I'm la Dramatica, and like somebody will be like, Oh, you're doing too much, you're being extra, and I'm like, Well, I'm not la Dramatica.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

I love that, you know, like really turning it around and using it as a form of art, like literally a form of art. Like, yep, that's me. Like, yeah, oh my gosh. And I know if Patti was here right now, that is one thing that she would like jump on and relate to because like she like and as you just said, as Latina woman, we feel everything to an like an extent as women already, but obviously as Latinas, even more. And I love how you tapped on that, like your family, because we had an episode recently where we kind of talk into that. We're like at home or around, it's always like, Oh, you're so dramatic, this and that. And it's like, no, dude, that's just how I feel. Like, I the feelings are valid, like you know, right? So, yeah, like I love and and you saying, like, reclaiming that, like, well, I'm all right, I'm not dramatica. Like, oh, that is so iconic. I love it so much. Yeah, no, I love that. Jumping into just now, like identity and community, and like the people and audience that you're talking. Trying to like tap into. I feel like this is something obviously that most people can relate, honestly. Uh a hundred percent, whether you're Latina or not, I feel like it's relatable for all. But really, what is that community and space that you yourself are trying to create um within you know just your art?

SPEAKER_00 22:18

Yeah, I think it's definitely a space for people who are very like complex. And because of my identity being like so unique, going back and forth like this, I mean I know a few people that you know live in Tijuana and went to school in San Diego. Yes. Or I know people that are from Ensenada where I'm from, and they moved to the US, but they're were born in Mexico, you know. Like I I know a lot of people that do different kinds of things, but I don't know anybody that did what I did, you know. Like I moved to college, I moved with some fios over here, like I was, you know, like moving around and you know, so and went to college on top of that, you know. So it's just it's a very unique story, but like you said, like I feel like people that would be able to relate. Um it's definitely a a lot of a lot of because it I feel like the themes are like specific, but the feelings are broad. Yeah, like they're they're really yeah, you know, like everybody experiences exactly in some way or shape or form, you know. It's just that this is the way I experience it. Yeah. And so yeah, I think that's that's kind of what the I love that.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

And then you talked, um, you talked about that a little bit, and I know you mentioned it to Patty and I when we first jumped on, but tell like everyone a little bit more about that story. So you mentioned that you know you were obviously from here in Mexico and then you moved back and you were kind of going around to fulfill your education. If you're if you're comfortable with that and you want to tap into that and just yeah, talk a little bit more about that.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

Yeah, it's really complicated, but basically, I was born here and we lived here for a few years, but I was taken as a kid to Mexico and we lived in that town in Sausal. Shout out to Sausal. Um uh from when I was like in elementary school until I was like in my sophomore year of high school. So and my parents split up and then they kind of just went their separate ways, and they were like, go with whoever you want, you know, which was crazy to say to some teenagers wow, yeah. But basically, I was like moving around with my mom, and like it just came to the point where I was just like, What am I gonna do after high school, you know? Like, and um I'm I wasn't a Mexican citizen at the time, now I am, but uh but um I uh they they don't give you like your your degree kind of certificate from high school unless you were like a citizen. So uh and then it would be really hard for me to go to college over there because I didn't have papers over there, yeah. And um and so one of my aunts was like, you should go to the US, like there's free colleges and everything, like and I was just like, is there? And she was like, Yeah, yeah, you should go, you should go, and I'll set it up. Like you could go live with your Theo and stuff. And like I was just like, well, okay, and like in the summer of 2013, I was 16 years old, and I just decided to like leave without my parents. Oh god, I was just like, and my hyper focus was going to college. Like I was like, I need to do this because that's what they told me would help, you know, like to make make a decent amount of money, be able to live, you know. Like and I went real hard. Like I was at the college and career center every day, like I was asking everybody, like, hey, what do I do? And I ended up getting into UCLA. Yeah, I literally applied to four UCs and I only got into UCLA. Wow, isn't that crazy? Wow, like yeah, it's meant to be, right? Like wow, and so that was the whole thing. I was working like three jobs in high school, I was like saving up money. At one point, I got kicked out of a relative's home, and like I ended up just being like, what do I do for a whole night? Like, I was just like homeless, you know. And then I lived with a friend, and then that kind of fell through, and I lived with like a boyfriend, and then after that I got into UCLA. Um I I went to live in the dorms, so it was just nice to finally have like a place where I didn't gotta answer nobody.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Yeah, this is like my own right now.

SPEAKER_00 26:41

Yeah, oh my gosh. I just graduated in 2020, didn't have a graduation pandemic class, yeah. But um, I'm really proud of that that journey, and it's just kind of like a testament that I've always done stuff like this, you know. Like I've always done stuff that's like just as you know, like just okay, let's go, let's keep it a day. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so is this is just like the next one, you know.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Yeah, oh my god, that's so honestly that's so inspiring because as someone who like yeah, like I went as quant steps too, but I really like I did my parents, my parents were really in my support system. So, as someone at that age, like I could imagine, like I would be like, Oh my god. So, like that's super inspiring. And um, honestly, I feel like that all kind of talks through those waves of a lot of what you wrote in here. Um, and and actually pick up your book. I want everyone to see, like, because when I keep saying here, like this is guys, like, oh my gosh, if you can talk, like come on, promote it, talk all about it, like tell us, like show that well, I know we can probably do a zoom in, but like this is all you did it yourself, DIY. There's art in between within the PDF, within the book itself, but you created. So give us like a little bit more about the inspiration and and what everything in between.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

Yeah, so basically all the covers are different because I decided to like um um just do different designs, you know, it's the same concept, but uh since I did it by hand, like I was just like they're not gonna be exactly the same, so I might as well do them different, right? This was my favorite, but um basically uh I wrote it and illustrated it myself, um, and I binded it by myself, so you'll see like the stitching in it because it's not perfect, it's not supposed to be perfect though. That's the whole point. Um and so you got all the contents, all the chapters that is they're not actually cultural. That piece of art so much.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

I love it so much.

SPEAKER_00 28:48

This is inspired by some days that where I was just like really depressed, and you know what there's days where you're just like so depressed, and then you break a nail.

SPEAKER_03 28:57

Oh my god, I'm the phone! Like this is my 13th brother, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

So um, yeah, there's just a lot of like really personal art, and the sections they're called partes because it's so it's it's supposed to be like bilingual, you know. So I I just incorporated a lot of elements like that. Yeah, and um, so yeah, you could see the stitching here is in the middle, and they're a little delicate because they're handmade, so you need to just treat them with care. And um, I'm trying to put out a digital version, but I'm still not sure exactly how I want to do that because it needs to come as a DIY concept also. Um, but I have a limited number of copies of these, and they're only gonna go to people who really care about them. Yeah, because I have a few friends, you know, that they're really excited to read it. Because at this point, nobody's reading it. Really? Oh, you're special.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Uh I think yeah. Oh my god. Well, I can guys, I can say for speak for myself and for Potty because I know she read it too. Again, when I tell you, and the first thing I when I saw Gabby, I was like, this is so beautiful, like it's so good, it's so beautiful, and again, it's just so relatable. Like I feel like it's yes, it's your story through your eyes, but every piece of and I and I mean every piece, like the words, like there's so much, and and I took some notes from the book too because there was one point where you tapped into it about how when people say I say this a lot because it's funny and it's a cliche, what's meant to be will be and what the when the stars align, right? But what you said was like, oh my god, and then and it's more about do I believe that myself? It's like, is that true? When is that really? And I feel like even though I say that to other people, when they say it to me, it's that same thought. Like, okay, well, it's not aligning. When is it gonna align? Right. So, like, there, but there were so much, and like there was one up top too about fear. Like, I'm someone where I'm still shocked that I do this podcast every time. And I remember at the beginning, Patty was like also shocked because I don't open up, I'm very closed off. I'm not vulnerable at all. So I again, like, I feel like we're obviously like it's super relatable because you know, you spoke about that and right about that, but it's like really putting that wall down and just putting yourself out there, and it's like it again, like it's just so relatable. So, but yeah, like tell us a little bit more about because I wanted to talk about that one too, but about like just like fear, and then also towards I think wow, I wrote down the part, sorry, yeah, but um it's the it's the sick part I mean, yeah, triste realidad, so it's the illustration for fear, but yeah, this fear, guys. One, yeah, so fear that one that chop that parte that chapter was so good, but this one here, triste realidad, oh that one spoke to me.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

Actually, that was probably the hardest one to write. Really thinking oh my god, we're really thinking about it. Just because, like, I don't I didn't want to put that on here, you know. Like, I don't want to talk about that.

SPEAKER_01 32:04

Yeah, it's yeah, I'm sure. Like, it's very vulnerable. It's very real, yeah, it's so beautiful. Like, look at that, and it's true, like, truly, like, yeah. I had a moment I was like, that's me right now.

SPEAKER_00 32:17

Yeah, every time I read it, I get that feeling. Like, dang, it it teaches me something every time I read it again about myself. And if I'm like feeling sad or whatever, like I'll pick it up again and I'll just realize a bunch of things about myself.

SPEAKER_01 32:32

And it's like this is and you literally like it's your story, like you've been to every every piece of that. It's like reminding yourself, like, you did this, you got through that, and like look at you're out here promoting it's out there, it's real, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:46

Yeah, and most importantly, I think that it's imperfect, but it's still worth something, yes, you know, like it's still worth promoting it, coming to speak about it, you know, even though it's not like super cool and published hard, you know, like hard uh cover professional, you know, like it's it doesn't matter what it is, like even if something isn't perfect, it's worth something.

SPEAKER_01 33:14

And honestly, and I'm not saying this just to say it, that to me is true representation of true art. It's and it's like it's a small business, like I consider it, yes, like small business and like all this, but it's it's you, it's true, it's authentic. It's not you don't have a whole team behind you. Like you just said, you're doing it all yourself. Like that's true art, that's a true creative. So just yeah, that's super admiring and respectful.

SPEAKER_00 33:38

So I hope you continue to give yourself that grace because that's very validating what I because you don't know how many times I've doubted it, you know. Like, so it's just really refreshing and nice to hear, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 33:53

Yeah, no, and I and I mean that. And I can't wait for people to like generally like you know, like read it. I know my friends would love it, like everyone around, so because it's just so relatable. So our the name of and I said this already, but the name of our podcast, I'll affect the podcast, we are the aftermath of our experiences. What does that mean to you, or what impact do you want to leave within the Latino community, within the space, with our listeners? Like, what is that message or that impact that you want to leave behind of who Gabriela is and what Deb Subsole is?

SPEAKER_00 34:31

I think for me, what I want people to see is how authenticity pays off. Because I think we live in a world where a lot of people lie cool or see like a kid or something like people, you know, but I think I've always been a very authentic person, and I think sometimes people see that and think that it's like a either a performance or that it's a fake. But I I this is proof of my authenticity and everything I've ever done is proof of my authenticity, like throughout everything that I've done, I've had people like doubt me since childhood. Like people didn't believe me when I when I was sick, you know, like when I was trying to go to college, like people didn't believe that I I really wanted to do that, like they just thought I was like trying to go to parties and do drugs and stuff. Like they thought I was a thug. Like the whole time I was a nerd, you know, like and I was just a cool looking nerd. So you're like, I really am brave, yeah. So you know, like I just wanna I just wanna like tell people that that you know being your real self is valuable, you don't have to lie or pretend to be something you're not for your art, your projects, your needs, your wants, your dreams to be valuable. Um and then also that like uh if you put all your energy into something you can you can do anything you want, like quite literally anything, but you really have to focus and and put all your energy towards it, like nothing else matters. You want to do this, go for it.

SPEAKER_01 36:29

Yeah, oh my god, that's it. No, and that's true, like that's a true testament. Again, it's like I a hundred percent believe in that. It's like authenticity over everything because nowadays with social media, with influencers, with all of these creators, like, right, that's really what's taken over the industry in all types of aspects, every single business, and even I within publishing within art, I've seen that a lot as well. So I think it's so important to your point. It's like just bringing that back in, and it's like truly like you're a testament of all of those stages of your life and what you've done now to this point. So that's super super inspiring. So I love that you just said that too. So if you're listening, this and we say this all the time if you want to do something, go for it, give it your all, be consistent, like truly, like do it. So I I love that so much. Yeah, and then so Gabby, tell us a little bit more about how, and I know you're gonna have a very unique rollout because you just said this is only gonna be for a few people. So, and you mentioned something about that to Patty, like it's not something people can buy. So it can't stop for sale, right? Okay, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 37:37

Yeah, yeah, especially it's uh it's a whole anti-capitalist concept that I'm kind of pioneering. I love it. Um, and I actually don't call it a book, it's called the scritto.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Okay, oh my god, wait, I love yes. Thank you for correct like I that is perfect.

SPEAKER_00 37:52

I mean, it's it's it's still a book, yeah. But the concept of it is called the scritto. Yeah, and it's supposed to be like a DIY book that you bind yourself, that you illustrate yourself, and you write yourself. It's actually based off of in Chicano studies. Uh I created a lot of zines, uh, which is basically DIY kind of booklets.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:16

But they're like small booklets, and you just either cop uh print images and like paste them on and like to uh convey like concepts in Chicano studies, right? Like we did that a lot in um in school while I was getting my degree. And so this is just like a continuation of that concept, right? Uh it's it's more elaborate, it's more specific, you know, and it's not just about like conveying political concepts, right? It could be about anything. Uh and I like to think of it as more on the spiritual side, you know, like artistic side. Um so it's it explains it all in the in kind of the ending. But uh it's it's really uh I wanna make it clear, you know, that it's it's about uh creating art outside of like modern publishing systems and modern, you know, like uh means. So like I I when I was first looking to publish, I was thinking about maybe I could do like the Amazon thing, it's really easy because you just send the PDF and they do everything for you, you know. But then it just didn't sit right with my soul because it's just like it's so personal. Amazon is a big company that's like yeah, you know, it just doesn't align with my values, yeah. And so I don't want my art to be tainted by that.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

Yeah, oh that I that's gonna be a real right there because that is and I keep saying it respectful, but literally like I respect that so much because that just shows you're truly passionate about this for you, and like more for like it's really that story, it's not something that you're trying to just make money out of and like all of this, like it's it's true, and that's why I wanted to like tap into that because I remember when Patty when you first started with Patty and I was like, Whoa, like that's that's something that you don't see people do, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

So that's like yeah, yeah, and that's why it's it's not for sale. I'm gonna figure out a way to roll it out digitally so that anybody can access it, yeah. But I'm still just figuring out exactly how to do that.

SPEAKER_01 40:11

So if anybody knows how, yeah, or you know, even if it's like your website, like it's like it's your La Dramatica, yeah. Like you, you know, you add your stories there, like everything. I don't know. You see, I'm exploring that concept, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:25

And then I was doing it through a website uh kind of uh program or whatever. But then I found out that they support some stuff, like the company supports some stuff that I don't align with, and then I'm just like, well, damn. Yeah, I had already created the whole website in the little the editor and stuff, like and then I was just like, but damn, I can't put that out, you know, because now it it it takes. It doesn't align with yeah, so I have to find something that really aligns that when I see it, I'm like perfect, yeah, yeah. That's how I do things.

unknown 40:55

I love it.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

No, that's super unique, and again, it just shows like your how you feel about this. You're like your baby, but Gabby, tell everyone else where they can listen to you, follow you and your journey, let them know, give Instagram, TikTok, whatever that is, all the handles.

SPEAKER_00 41:11

Yeah, I'm uh la underscore dramatica with two A's on Instagram and with three A's on TikTok because my name was taken for some reason.

unknown 41:22

TikTok.

SPEAKER_00 41:23

Someone else had the same idea. Watch it back. I'm like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:29

No, I love that. But no, Gabby, it was so great to have you. I can't wait again just to see like your journey and how the figure, like honestly, hear about that last straw, like the DIY of like, okay, what how is this gonna be rolled out to everyone? That's gonna be super exciting. But thank you so much for being on this podcast. Thank you. I hope, like, I uh it's it was honestly super exciting. Again, like you're it's very like we haven't had on an hey, I'm not trying to be shitty to all of our guests, but this is definitely different, and again, it just aligns a lot with like Patty and I, like my values as well. So we wanted to make sure to, you know, of course, it just made perfect sense. And I'm so happy you reached out to us because guys, Gabby reached out to us, like we were like, What? Like that was I reached out to so many times, and y'all were the only ones that answered me. Like, really? Okay, then you got to be it well, definitely. I'm like, y'all, y'all slept, but you did no, but it's been so fun just getting to hear your story, honestly. Again, inspiring, and then again, I say this, guys. Her, it was escrito. Yeah, the escrito is so beautiful, it's so amazing. Like, it's it's great.

SPEAKER_00 42:44

Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you for having me. I I feel really validated and like happy that somebody liked it and that somebody's like you know, really cares about it. So I really appreciate you for real.

SPEAKER_01 42:56

No, of course. And when I tell you, like, I'm like literally no bullshit. Like, I swear, like, keep doing you like you have something very special when I say this, like you're a true artist, you're true creative, and it just shows in your work and it shows in the way you speak about it, too. Like, it's like you're not doing this for profit, you're not doing it because you truly love it, so yeah. But thanks, guys, as always. Don't forget to comment, like, subscribe, and then we'll see you in the next one. Bye.