Sheri Winston: Female Pleasure & Orgasmic Birth - Separating Fact from Fiction

Sheri Winston is a Wholistic Sexuality Teacher, Author, and Founder of the Intimate Arts Center.  Her background as a certified nurse-midwife, gynecology practitioner, registered nurse, childbirth educator, and massage therapist uniquely sets her apart from other  Sexperts. Her groundbreaking book Women’s Anatomy of Arousal is one everyone should have!

CONNECT WITH SHERI:

• https://intimateartscenter.com/
• FREE GIFT | Online Class: Her-Gasmic Abundance 
• Sheri's Online Course: Ecstatic Journey of Birth and Sex 
• Sheri's Books: Women’s Anatomy of Arousal | Secrets of the Sex Masters | Succulent SexCraft 

EPISODE LINKS

• Orgasmic Birth; the Best-Kept Secret. By Debra Pascali Bonaro
• Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin 

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Transcript

Introduction

We are here with Sheri Winston, the author of the women's anatomy of arousal. And we're having an incredible conversation coming through for you today. We are so, so blessed and so excited to be here today with the one and only Sheri Winston. Sheri is amazing. Leah and I are both long time fans of this woman and her work.

Uh, Sheri's a holistic sexuality teacher. Founder of the intimate arts center and an award winning author. One of her most well known books is the women's anatomy of arousal. So if you have not read this book yet, you must put it at the top of your book list. She's got it on audio. She's got it translated into Spanish and German.

There's a hard copy. There's a soft copy. There's all kinds of copies you can play with . She's also written other books, such as the succulent sex craft and, contributor of a book called secrets of the sex masters. So we're just so excited. Sheri's been on such a journey and you're gonna love hearing from her and learning from her.

She's gonna teach you more than you ever thought you didn't know about theWomen's Anatomy of arousal. So tune in, turn on and fall in love with Sheri as much as we are, and we will see you on the other side. 

Welcome to the sex reimagined podcast, where sex is shame free and pleasure forward. Let's get into the show.

Welcome Sheri. 

Oh, well it is my pleasure to be here talking to both of you and, uh, sharing this with you all and your audience. Thank you so much for having me. 

 📍 

Sheri's story | midwife & nursing school

You bet. So Sheri, how did you get into this work? As I recall, you were, uh, in the nursing field, you were a midwife. Do I, is my memory correct in that, that that's kind of how you started out?

Yeah. So mostly I was a midwife, so like, okay. I did become a nurse, but that's because in the United States, in order to become a midwife, you have to become a nurse. So basically my first calling was to assist women in birth. And, uh, I was child birth educator. Well, first I was a massage therapist before that and always an artist anyway, so yeah.

So I, , started going to births and, you know, it was amazing and ecstatic and I was, I was very called to do it. Like I said, in order to get legal, I had to go to nursing school, which was actually included some really awful years of my life. Is that right? I was an alien. I'm such an alien, right? Cause I was just like home birth, natural remedies person. And here I was in nursing school, having arguments with my obstetrics professor about the safety of home birth. She hated, she hated me. 

You were the black sheep. 

So yeah, I totally was anyway, so yeah, so I graduated with my, uh, bachelor's in nursing and then worked for a few more years, assisting home birth midwives, and then went to midwifery school for another couple of years.

Epiphany | How teaching childbirth classes led to better sex

And then I did home birth for a bunch of years and then birth center birth. Now the thing is, and I was also teaching, so I was also a childbirth educator and I was teaching women how to have awesome births. So I was learning and teaching how to do things like use your breathing, right? Use your imagination, use your intention and your awareness and your sound and your pelvic floor muscles.

And I started teaching that stuff when I was 20. Sometime around when I reached 30, I had this epiphany and I realized I had been training myself to have better sex. I didn't know it, literally, for 10 years. But I was using all of those skills sound and pelvic floor muscles. And when,  when I was with a partner who started commenting on my abilities, I was kinda like, "well, can't all women do that with their pussy muscles".

And he is like, uh, no . And I remember really being shocked because I just assumed, I didn't think I was doing anything special, but I actually was. And so once I realized I'd been unconsciously training myself, that's when I started studying sexuality, going to Tantra classes & Taoist and studied with a native American medicine priest and, and all of this natural stuff about sexuality and also Western sexological research.

So I'm studying that at that point really thinking it was so that I would have even better sex because I figured, well, I went, you know, I got this far without even trying. Let's see where I can go if I try. But the funny thing was, well, not really funny, but the amazing thing was that the stuff I was learning in sex world, I was bringing back to birth world.

So everything I was learning about sex was helping me be a better midwife and helping me help women birth more, you know, awesomely and ecstatically and primally and, and, uh, that started me really understanding that birth and sex are not these separate things. That's what we're kind of taught right there. You know, sex gets the baby started and then has nothing to do with it.

It's just not true. And, uh, the more I studied, I started realizing, oh, it's all integral, that we actually have a baby's bliss and bonding system. And the intelligence of this system, the brilliance of it is, is exquisite. And I just started seeing more and more ways that this was all connected. So when, I was always teaching and I've been teaching this information, I started understanding this anatomy in a, a different way and seeing things that were missing and finding pieces of the puzzle and putting that together.

Final Transition | birth world to sex world 

And so I was teaching along with childbirth stuff. What I called women craft classes, which were things like menstrual health and and the female anatomy call it maps of the clitoris was the first name of that class of women's anatomy of arousal. And, um, then I, I was getting burnt out on the baby thing, because I'd been on call for like 20 years.

It's hard to be on call, like yeah, yeah. At a certain point I was kinda like, oh, I need a break. So I actually thought I was gonna go back midwifing. Um, but I took a break and I was just working, doing gynecology in a clinic and you know, in prenatal care and well woman care, stuff like that. And I thought, oh, in six months or year, I'll go back to midwifery.

And meanwhile, I decided to add a class, uh, to my teaching about orgasm for women, female orgasm, and man was that class fun to teach women about how to have orgasms and bigger, better, easier orgasms. And then my guy friends wanted to come to the class and I'm like, no, you can't come. It's just for women.

And, oh, well we wanna learn, we want our women to be happy. So like, all right, I'll teach a class for. About female sexuality. And that was so much fun. I mean, right? Like, like they're all sitting there listening to me. 

Totally, with rapt attention, hanging on every word. 

Exactly. And then I started teaching class for everyone about, you know, sexual communication and, and that just kept blossoming and it just kept expanding.

Every class I taught would lead to another class. I started teaching classes about touch and how to be more adept at, at giving and receiving and, you know, yin & yang, and all these other things. And so, as that's expanding and times going by, I'm realizing I have no desire to go back to catching babies. I'm done.

I'm done with the midwife thing. And my calling now is about helping people birth their sexuality. Oh, love that. And that's yeah. That's how I became a sexuality teacher. Yeah. 

Yeah. So beautiful. And too, I love how you bridge, you know, how the baby comes in is also how the baby comes out. I've done doula work to myself for years and it's like when a woman can get into her animalistic, raw, primal state, and really just like be in the sensation of it.

Yeah. That is, it just moves everything so much more effectively. 

Which is exactly what wanna do the sex as well. Right? Yeah, absolutely. 

What about orgasmic births, sheri?

What's been your experience of this like orgasmic birth phenomenon. The people are saying more and more about what's the correlation between orgasmic birth orgasm, painful birth, painful pregnancies, like this pain and pleasure place. Is there anything you can shine some light on regarding those two pieces? What  

I have a whole class and of intensive version of that class. Oh, great. Course. We can talk about it for about six hours, but I'll 

us where to up for this class.  yeah, 

I actually have some recorded online classes and this is one of them, a short one, a short version of that class.

So it's called the ecstatic journey of birth and sex. So trying to make it short, but, okay, so we're using the same equipment.  mm-hmm  to have sex and to birth babies. Um, it's the same altered state of consciousness. So arousal is an altered state of consciousness. And labor is an altered state of consciousness and they are influenced by the biochemical soup that we, uh, create and that we swim in and we have the ability to enhance our trance.

Right. I can't make myself go into a trance, but I can do things to facilitate it happening. I love it. I can create an environment where it's more likely to happen. I can create a mindset where it's more likely to happen. And so all of those things again, can be used in sex and in birth. In fact, um, before I had heard of orgasmic birth, I had attended a few births.

These were all home births, by the way, this was highly unlikely to happen in a hospital birth, but I was doing homebirth at that point. And I attended some homebirth where the women, to me, appeared to be having an orgasmic ecstatic labor. And of course I wasn't gonna ask them about it while it was going on.

Cause I don't wanna mess it up. Are you having, last thing you wanna do is stimulate the thinking at either in labor or sex. Right? But afterwards I talked to them about it and they reported,  had about, I guess three of 'em, one woman said I was just having orgasms. And the other women described it as being in this state of ecstasy.

And I asked them, does it feel like, kind of like orgasmic and they're like, yeah, like these orgasmic waves. So I was intrigued to just say the least, right. And then talking to other midwives at conferences. And then I ran into a woman who I had been in a study group with, with this wonderful midwife, way, way back in my early twenties, learned so much from her. And she was really interested and she wound up going onto, write a book and do a video called orgasmic birth.

, Ooh, names, uh, Deborah. Something last name is escaping name. Is it Deborah bets? Mm-hmm no, it's a multi syllable name anyway, orgasmic birth. If you look up the book in the video, you will find her. And so I started like, well, what can we do to maximize the chances that women will have that kind of a birth?

And again, just like the same thing, enhance the trans, create the set & setting. Uh, there's no guarantee. However, if we create that kind of internal, external environment, even if women don't experience their labor as ecstatic  or orgasmic, they can have what I call a primal labor. And a primal labor means your brain is not and their thinking brain is offline. It is out of the way. And the your body and the process of labor itself is making things happen. 

So I would say, give an example. Sometimes women, you know, sometimes the baby's not in exactly the best ideal position, and I could feel that and tell, and I could tell women, let's get you in this position, like lie on your side with your knee up and your other leg, and let's roll this way and we'll do this.

And I had all these little tricks I could do to help them help the baby reposition. When a woman is having a primal birth, I don't need to do that. She just gets in those positions. Oh. No one is telling her what to do. She just, her, her body and the, the magic and the miracle of the intelligence of nature is just she's in that position.

She's on her hands and knees. She's rocking her belly and the baby will just shift without me telling her. 

Oh, I love that the attunement. 

The attunement and prior births usually go fast. 

Yeah. It's like the shockee comes in that sexual energy of the feminine essence of life just comes in and takes over it's I call it the yin field.

What you're talking about, the trance space, you know, it's just really inviting and, and like you said, you can't make it happen. You just create the environment and then it just usually takes its own 

course. 

Yeah. And, and it essentially labors actually this wonderful yin yang experience, because that first part of labor's all about surrendering, releasing, and opening.

And then the second part where we have to push the baby out, that's the yang part of labor. And that's when we are like in our animal power. Yeah. Uh, there's nothing more powerful than a woman pushing a baby out. Right. And so we need both and sometimes some women need more of one or the other, like some women are like way too in control.

They can't do that yin surrender. But then if you get 'em to the pushing part, they're great. Other women are okay with the surrender. However, they get to the pushing and they're like, oh wow, that's too intense. I don't, I can't do that. Wanna back up. Yeah.  

I changed my mind... 

In labor, all women changed their mind.

Yeah. Right at the ring of it's a phase of labor, I call it the, "I can't do this phase of labor" start saying that. Yeah. That's like, that's like, great. Well, you're saying that, that means you're, you're almost there. You're almost great. Wow. 

The home Stretch. So is, is that where this, um, aspect also this, this enhance-the-trance that a woman starts to use meditation and hypnotherapy to put, to help create before the birth process to prepare the mind.

So it knows the, the, where to follow where to take the mind? Exactly. Is that a part of the training leading up to 

it?  

It can be. And ideally it will be, because keep in mind, we have been inundated our entire lives with horrible images of birth. Mm-hmm  terrible birth stories. You know, every birth you see on TV or in a movie they're, they're screaming hysterically.

They need to be rescuedn they almost die. The baby almost dies the doctor swoops in and rescues them. 

Um, or it's the comedy version where, you know, everybody panics and the husband, you know, forgets to take the, put the wife in the car, you know, whatever. Right, right, right. 

They're just these ridiculous stories, but they're always horrible until the woman gets the anesthesia and then she's just, oh, so happy. She's been rescued.

So we need to reprogram our brains about birth. And what I used to do was have women read good birth stories. Like I make Ina May Gaskin's classic book, when I was 13, Spiritual Midwifery, filled with these wonderful birth stories. Great one then, then we started having videos, right? Videotapes. Remember the cassette, if you're old enough, you remember.

And then I would, I had a lending library that I could give women to take home so they could watch and see images. And then of course, when Debra Pascali Bonaro! There you go. That's her name.  It's in there. Um, And when she made that video, any woman who's thinking about ever having a baby or is pregnant, should watch the orgasmic birth video because when you see women doing it, it's a visceral, you are in sympathetic relationship.

And so you better understand what's going on and what you could do to get to that same place. Yeah. 

Those mirror neurons from watching the video can help your body learn what the body needs. Sometimes it's not this mental thing. It's really a visual thing. If you want, what somebody else has, get your body next to their body and your body learn, learn,  pick that up.

Absolutely. Yeah. If you're ever lucky enough to attend a home birth and be in the presence of a woman who does that, that's how women would learn in the past. Right? Right. We would go assist other women with births. It was, it was how we learned, you know, the same with breastfeeding. You know, I've had women who, uh, primarily lived in other countries.

And they're more in a more primal culture, you know, not a first world culture. Um, and those women never had a problem breastfeeding, never, ever, because they grew up around it. They instantly held their baby, and nursed their baby, in exactly the way that worked. And then we have women who've grown up in our first world culture where breastfeeding is not normal and we don't see it, and they don't know what to do.

And it gets messed. . And so again, you know, we're, we're sort of designed to have learned these things. 

Yeah. Should be passed on. Yeah. 

Unfortunately, most of us don't. 

Yeah. It's amazing that there were generations where women were discouraged from breastfeeding. My mom didn't get breast fed, Matt, my husband didn't get breast fed.

Um, his father never got breast fed. There's this generational gap around breastfeeding that's kind of interesting. And as we make a correlation between like breastfeeding and the orgasmic experience, um, I've not, uh, gone through the baby making process, but in many of my classes, women who've experienced, um, Amrita, the female Ejaculation.

One of the ways that they describe how it feels in the vulva when they start to feel the dissension of the Ejaculation is when they've nursed and they felt the letting down of the milk in their breast. What can you say about that, Sheri? 

Well, that's how I figured out the mechanism. So, first of all, I will say I did, uh, I do have a son and I did breastfeed him and it was an utterly ecstatic experience.

Mm-hmm. So breastfeeding is another part of the baby's bliss and bonding system that ecstasy bonds us to our babies. It helps us tolerate them because, oh my gosh, they're just a crazy amount of work. Right. Um, so we're supposed to fall madly in love with them. This is, this is the oxytocin, which is the bonding hormone, but also the hormones of, of Limmerance, which is the falling in love hormones

falling in love hormones. So I would say the best falling in love I've ever had in my life was with my baby. 

Aw. That's think that's so beautiful. And a lot that's mothers who get to experience that are so blessed and so 

well, well, you know, it gets messed up again. Yeah. If we understood that that's what's supposed to happen and we did everything in our power to enhance that we'd have more mothers falling in love with their babies and more mothers breastfeeding successfully.

Yeah. And we're, we're doing better than we were back when I was born and you all were born, but we're still not doing that great. We've stalled. We still have a lot of women who don't try to breastfeed. Don't wanna breastfeed. And we have a lot of women who think they have failed at breastfeeding. Mm-hmm

And what they have unfortunately has happened is our, our culture has failed them. They didn't have the information and support they needed to understand how breastfeeding works and how to enhance that. And they didn't have the help or the support they might have needed if there was a true problem, which is not that common.

Right. Some babies like are tongue tied, their tongue, the little, um, yeah, the thing under the tongue, the frenulum under the tongue is too tight. They can't nurse properly. Right. That if that's identified early and taking care of everything's fine. Yeah. Most women are not succeeding at breastfeeding because they've gotten the wrong information.

They don't understand if you give the baby a pacifier or a bottle, they're gonna suck wrong on your nipple. Right. And then the whole system's gonna fall apart. Right. So we're failing women in that sense. Um, There was somewhere we were going. Yeah, a female. Oh, they're let down female Ejaculation. Yes. Okay.

Female Ejaculation

So, so female Ejaculation. So let's go back before anybody had ever heard of female Ejaculation. Right. And I was take us back. Take us back. So I, um, first heard about it. About Annie sprinkle mm-hmm  who is a feminist porn hero, right. Um, yeah. And she was ejaculating and I remember thinking, yeah, right. It's just pee this is bullshit, right?

Mm-hmm  okay. So I didn't believe it. But in my practice, I, I would meet women who would tell me that they had this experience of, of liquid gushing out. And at first I used to say, oh, you're just juicier than other women. Just enjoy it. There's nothing wrong with you. I had women who were treated for urinary incontinence, by the way, mm-hmm  including and up to surgery to fix the problem.

Jeez, I have heard of that. Yeah. So at that certain point, I started wondering, well, maybe it is real for some small number of women. Then I was lucky enough to meet a woman and have a brief affair with her. And she was an ejaculator. And the first time we were going to bed, she said, oh, I need some towels.

I get some little towels. And she's like, no,  I need big towels. Like, oh, okay. So I got to see it up close and personal coming out on the white towels. Doesn't smell like urine. It's not yellow. I'm like, okay, this is real. You are one of the lucky women who can do this thing, but I hadn't experienced it. And I didn't think I could.

But at that point I was really going deep into the sex world. So learning about sexuality and I started meeting women who were started telling me. I learned how to, I didn't used to ejaculate and now I do. And as soon as I heard that, I was just like, oh, well... I've learned all this other stuff. Yeah. 

It's teachable.

I've learned how to have orgasms and how to have orgasms in all different ways and how to have lots of them and mega orgasms. I was like, well, if I learned all that, I can learn this. Now, there was no information. There was no, there were no videos. I mean, there was, there was nothing. So I think it probably was over about maybe a year or two, a couple years.

And I, um, started experiencing it. Uh, first only with like, like a marathon, you know, like a marathon sex date, where you just were at it for hours, you know, doing all the different things and, uh, uh, eventually just gushing. And I remember the first time it happened, I was like, whoa, , that's it. 

Oh my God. 

And that speaks to two, also like creating the environment.

You know, if it's something your body's never done before you wanna create the environment for that yin to flow through. 

Absolutely. So then it got to the point where I was able it happen more often that started, I was able to do it. Then it was happening all the time. At a certain point, I was like, wait, sometimes I need to turn those off.

Right. Then I had to learn like, if you're in somebody's car or something, right. Um, where you're like, uh, and the environment is not prepared for. Yeah, 

exactly. Anyway, I kind of learned to try meanwhile, out in the world, I'm like trying to research this and figure out what's happening now in the world of Tantra, as I'm sure you know, people would be like, oh, it's a gift of the goddess. Like yeah, sure. It is. But where does it come from? That doesn't help me in terms of the physiology of the anatomy. And I wanna know what this mechanism is, especially because most doctors and medical people need sex teachers and so forth are saying, it's not real.

It doesn't exist. Mm-hmm . So I knew it had to do with the urethra sponge, which is the erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra, that tube of erectile tissue. I was aware of the glandular structures that were within it at that point. And then I'm tuning in as I'm getting ready to ejaculate and all of a sudden I'm like, oh my gosh, it feels just like let -down.

So when you're breastfeeding, you get this like microscopic tingling inside your breasts, just before you have big gushes. And all of a sudden I was like, boom, how do we make breast milk? We've got glandular tubals with a single cell wall, surrounded by capillaries with a single cell wall. The watery part of our blood can diffuse through a single cell membrane.

So the water from our blood. Goes through the capillary wall, through the wall of the tubuals, mixes with the substance that those cells produce, this is what makes it a gland. It produces a protein or different kinds of proteins. In this case, in breast milk, the breast milk proteins, and out it comes, that's breast milk.

How much breast milk can a woman make? As much as she needs. As long as you continue to stimulate mechanical stimulation of the Ariola and hydrate, you can make all the breast milk you need. You have two babies, you have two babies sucking twice the mechanical stimulation. You can make twice milk. This is another reason why women so-called fail at breastfeeding, because people don't understand the supply and demand.

Like we make milk. As long as the baby's sucking. If the baby's sucking in a pacifier, we're not getting the stimulation. We're not gonna make as much milk. Well, 

something so fascinating if, uh, my best friend's here in Sacramento. Um, a married couple, both women are nursing the baby and it's from, you know, one of 'em had to go and learn the whole nipple stimulation.

And it's been this incredible experience for them both to feed the baby. Awesome. It's my God. 

That's good bonding. You can be, um, menopause could have come and gone and you can still nurse and yeah. Male partners can nurse. And this is a little bit widely unknown. 

A little bit. Okay. Little bit. Well, I just think, but in traditional cultures, again, if a mama died, grandma, I'd pick up that baby and started nursing.

Right. That was a survival thing, right? Yeah. So it's pretty amazing. Right. Anyway, so once I connected that up with, then I was like, oh, I get it. I know how we make Amita. We make it because we've got glandular tubules in that tube of erectile tissue. Surrounded by capillaries, the erectile capillaries, the watery part of the blood diffuses across the membrane mixes with the proteins, the cells make and those glandular tubuals empty into the urethra.

And then it can squirt it out the peel, or we could hold it in and it'll back up into the bladder and just come out the next time we pee it out. Yep. And so now I believe all women, if you have any amount of arousal, I believe you are making at least some small amount of that fluid with the appropriate stimulation of that tissue with lots more enlargement of those erectile capillaries, then you'll make a lot of fluid.

Mm-hmm . So I think all women, we're all ejaculating, just a lot of women aren't getting that kind of stimulation that they need. They're not having, uh, that, you know, uh, a deep arousal and, and massive orgasms and, and dust. So they're not getting the huge gush, but you could. 

Yeah. And, and also Amita could come as a flood.

It could come as a gush. It could come as squirt. It could come in, all, you know, can come. And 

yeah. 

The truth about the femae G-spot and other poorly named parts of anatomy

So, what do you have to say about the reports that the female G spot is actually the female prostate gland as compared to the urethral sponge. 

Okay. So the female is the default setting as embryos, basically start out with female equipment.

And if that body is going to become a penis owner, they get sled with those male hormones and things change. So it would be more appropriate to say that the prostate is actually the male urethral sponge. Okay. Mm-hmm  like, it would be, that would be actually more anatomically and embryologically accurate.

So the prostate gland is a glandular and erectile structure, just like the urethra sponge. Okay. What people are calling the G-spot is just the bottom of that sponge. Okay. It's not a separate structure. So when somebody says the G-spot, they're just talking about the part of the urethra sponge that you can reach from inside when you're rubbing up against the roof of the vagina.

Okay. And that is the bottom of that cylinder of erectile tissue that contains those glands. Um, but like I said, it would be more appropriate to, um, name the male body part after the female body. Because that's how we all started. Also. I'm just so sick of our body parts being named after men like this and also sometimes inappropriately. Mm-hmm

Yeah. Right. Because for example, our uterus moves during arousal. It also moves during the fertility cycle. 

Um, and it's one of our ways of gaging where we are in our cycle. Um, but during arousal it gets pulled up and forward and then during orgasm, it bounces up and down. And it does that because there are two structures that are called the round ligaments and in male bodies, they are ligaments, not female bodies or female bodies it's a muscle. Like a rope surrounded by a fibrous sheath and they start on top of the uterus. They go over the pubic bone and the other end attaches to the muscle that goes around the vaginal opening. So just these other interesting connections and that's what moves the uterus. Okay. So they're called round ligaments, which is completely incorrect.

They're muscles with a fibro sheath. So why are they named round ligaments? Cause that's what they are in male bodies. What should we name them? Yeah, 

whatever you're gonna call them? 

The round uterine muscles. 

The round uterine muscles, everybody. Yeah. Got that? Good. And so you made anatomy class so fun. 

The Magical wonders of an Aroused Cervix + Cool facts no one taught you about Sperm 

I know that's sexy. So that's what moves the uterus up and down, not only during your entire monthly fertile cycle, but also when you are aroused and when you're having an orgasm.

Now tell us a little bit, like, why does the cervix go up and down during orgasm? There's something about fertility there, right? 

There is, you are so, right. So here's the thing, mother nature wants us to make babies, right?  this is the template whether we want them or not. Right. Right. The, the, the fundamental template is gonna always be about reproduction.

And so in order to maximize the chances of getting pregnant, we've got this brilliant system in place. So in the ideal fertility scenario, Um, you would have a, a vagina owner and a penis owner, and they would be having intercourse. The, uh, vagina owner would be in a high state of arousal. So her uterus is picked up out of the back of the vagina.

So that penis is not hitting it, because that wouldn't like that. Okay. Yeah. So she's nicely aroused. The penis is going in and out. There's this beautiful bowl right there at the back of the vagina. Ejaculation happens. And then the, again, ideal fertility scenario, the women has, the woman has a rip wearing orgasm and her uterus.

Now remember there's this, this bowl in the back of the vagina and now her uterus is gonna go, ah, and suck up as much semen as possible. Because here's the thing, semen is fragile. Delicate. Fragile. And it cannot live very long in the vagina. The vagina is very acidic and it's a hostile environment for sperm.

They're not gonna live long in the vagina, but during the fertil time of a woman's cycle. So for about five days of her cycle, her cervix is open more. And the glands inside the cervix are producing, uh, what I call fertile flow. And it's traditionally called fertile mucus. Oh, doesn't sound nice. Um, fertile flow.

And so what happens when that fertile flow is coming? Is that, uh, slimy, slippery substance acts like a slip and slide. It literally forms channels that the sperm Dinges go, zoom, zoom, zoom into the cervix. Cool. The more sperm you get in the better, the chance of making a baby, not only do they go into the cervix, but inside the cervix are these little pockets and they're called cervical crypts, but a crypt is a place you go to die.

So I call them the sperm hotels. Much, much more appropriate. Cause the sperm can check in and hang out in the sperm hotels for up to five days. Oh my, the egg is only good for a day. You've got maybe 24 hours of a good egg, but now you've got five days of sperm going after the egg. Right. So what if, if the sperms there a day or two early, no problem.

Right? 

Right. Go ahead & hang out at that pool, enjoy your stay. 

Exactly. They get room service. We nourish them, we feed them. Um, and so that right, but that movement, because also what you've got partly because of the shape of the head of the penis is you've created a bit of a vacuum inside the vagina. It's like a little negative pressure.

And so when that uterus dips into the pool, it's actually literally up sucking semen, as well as having it slide up the slip sides. So again. 

Pretty amazing! 

I find this so sexy. I wonder if...

Our bodies are just incredible. 

Yeah. Like I think, I think once you're mind... it is sexy... kind of like opens up to the amazing world of sexuality. When you've stopped having that sort of visceral reaction around shame and fear and dirtiness.

And some of that stuff that many of us have been groomed from a young age to feel about sex. 

Once that dissolves conversations like this and learning about how miraculous this whole mystical, yet, more and more understandable system. It's it's you get to keep the magic, even as you start to learn the truth of like what's really happening.

It is sexy. I'm turned. On like, wow, get load of me, you know? Yeah. I'm probably not gonna ever have a kid, but. I sure like that I was born to do all this crazy, cool, shit. 

Yeah. That your body is capable of that. So I've always been, um, curious Sheri. I wonder if, you know? Uh, is it true that you can kind of, you're more likely to have a female child post, peak, ovulation moment because those swimmers are the, the female swimmers are, are stronger swimmers.

Is that true? 

Yeah, it is. Now it's just a little shift of the statistics, so it's not gonna be dramatic. It's not for sure. But female sperm are hardier than male sperm. So if you're ovulating and you have sex, right when you're ovulating, it's probably gonna be about 50 50. Right. But. If it's, if it's, uh, you're having sex and you're ovulating a few days later, it's slightly more likely. 

But here's, this is so cool, you'll love this. Do you know, we have, there's three kinds of sperm? There's a third, there's three kinds of sperm. 

So there's the, the, the athletes, right. And third job is to zip up and try and get there and fertilize the egg. 

There are also blockers. And their job is to hang out in the cervix and in that fertile mucus and keep any other sperm out. Like goalies.

Exactly. Right. So, 

and is it looking out for its... uh..., for other guys 

or for other guys, other guys sperm. Yeah. Other sperm from. 

And then there are fighters sperm, and they're like little pac men and they eat and attack other men's sperm. 

Dang. Wow. Yeah. I know. Come on now. 

Fun Facts about Infidelity and Fertility

Whose sperm is the mightiest? 

Well, you know, there is survival of the fittest at a lot of different levels here.

Yeah. So that's another level. That's, you know... so women are maximizing their chances of not only making a baby, but making the best baby mm-hmm  right. Absolutely. Maybe you have a couple different sperm donors.

it's so interesting. Isn't it? Yeah. 

So would that also mean that if a, a woman has, you know, a number of different lovers, and either wants to get pregnant, or doesn't know about wanting or not wanting...  yeah. And, uh, well, what was my question?  

is she more likely to get pregnant with a lover? 

Yeah. Is she more likely to get pregnant than another woman who has one lover?

Yeah, that was it. 

Well, first of all, um, a woman is more likely to be having better sex with a lover than her long term partner, because it's new and exciting, right? Yeah. Um, probably having better orgasms, that's going to increase the chance of fertility. 

So if a woman has got a, um, a husband who will, we'll call him a husband. A husband who she's been with for a long time and isn't having great sex with, and she's got a lover on the side, um, that her husband doesn't know about.

Um, she's more likely to be fertile and get pregnant and impregnated by the lover. Now is she having more sex with the lover? Maybe mm-hmm  that could be part of it, but there's also really interesting things. Now, the husband is going to make a higher percentage of fighter and blockers sperm, if he suspects, she's having an affair.

Okay. Wow. Also there's something about proximity. So if, if, if I'm with my guy all the time, he's gonna make hardly any fighter sperm. The more I'm away and out of his site, the higher percentage of fighter sperm he's gonna make. 

Now the study I'd like to see which nobody has done is, well, what if you've got a couple of lovers and you're polyamorous and everybody's cool with it?

Right, right. So he is not jealous. He's fine with it. Right. So, but nobody's done those kinds of studies.  

Well, what about dreams? Because I had a dream last night of having sex with Brad Pit and Robert De Niro. 

Oh my God. What a good dream! 

It was such a good night sleep let me tell ya...! Wow. It was heightened. I was gonna be murdered too.

So it was like really off the chart. Yeah. It was life threatening and I was just coming over and over and over again. I'd like to know the test, is my husband gonna create some more fighter sperm, fighter sperm, because his hot dreams I'm having? 

I don't think so. No. Because think about fair. He's not gonna be feeling jealous. He's not gonna be feeling jealous. I mean, if you tell him about him, he might be, yeah.  

he should. I did. And he really wasn't jealous. He was more celebratory. 

Exactly. So that's why I think if you're poly, that, that thing with the fighter sperm increasing, wouldn't happen. So I think it's a function of, of jealousy .

Interesting. Interesting, but that who knows, that's just a theory. 

It's amazing. 

So fun. Right. So much fun. Yeah. 

So God, Sheri, you are just a wealth of information and we could talk to you and rap out for hours and hours and hours, because there's just so much good stuff to go into here. 

Erectile Tissue | Whose Boner is Bigger?

Um, I, I just wanna maybe get one more little snippet from you, because your knowledge is so vast. You know, what is like, what is one of the key things that you would wanna share with women about their anatomy in order to, for them to understand how to create more pleasure?

Yeah. If I can just rephrase it slightly is yeah. If you could only teach one thing that could make an impact in a woman's like everything else we're like you're censored. What's the one thing that would be so important that your message could share? 

So women have what I call the female erectile network, which is a network of structures that are all made out of erectile tissue.

Erectile tissue is what penises are made out of. So we, we already know what erectile tissue can do. It can go from small and soft to big and hard when it fills up with blood that gets trapped. That's called engorgement. Women have just as much erectile tissue as a penis owner does pound for pound inch for inch, but it's arranged differently.

And so in some ways it's, it acts the same. And in other ways it does not. So we've got a network of structures. 

So one way that it's different is that we can get aroused in orgasm with just one little part of the network activated. Right? So if all we know is the head of the clitoris as the good spot, and we play with the head of the clitoris and we get turned on and we have an orgasm.

Yay. That's great. That's a fine, fine thing. I'm not knocking it. 

But, it's like trying to play the piano. When you think you've only got 12 keys. No, you've got 88 keys and foot pedals. So when you learn about all of the erectile structures and you stimulate all of the structures that amplifies your arousal and orgasmic capacity in a, in a quantum way, you get these circuits of interconnected, overlapping, um, erogenous activity.

Cause it's not just the erectile tissue, it's the nerve pathways, which you have multiple pathways of as well. So if you really wanna learn how to have the most absolutely mind boggling, um, arousal and orgasms, then learn your learn what you've got, learn how to make it happy and get everybody in the band playing along. Because it's, uh, it's pretty dramatic the difference.

And you know, when I was, when I was young, back in the, you know, BC, before computers back in the old days, um, you know, we didn't know anything. We didn't have any of any information. Basically. I still remember getting ahold of the Joy of Sex. First copy of joy sex does not mention the word clitoris at all.

Crazy. Right then I got a hold of Our Bodies, Ourselves. I was about 12 or 13. And that's where I was found, I was like, oh, that, yeah, that's what it's called. cause I had discovered it. I didn't know its name. It's like, okay, that's what it's called. But none of the rest of the erectile network is, are in those, uh, books still not, still not. 

So, but I was able to have some great orgasms mostly by myself.

And then eventually I learned how to have orgasms with partners and how to communicate and, and uh, and then it got easier to have them and I learned how to have more of them. And I didn't have orgasms with intercourse when I started like most women don't. And I learned how to do that. And so I learned all this stuff, but once I got that map of all the parts.

It was like the difference between singing a song and playing the guitar. And, um, having a full orchestra  yeah. Right. I mean, you just can't compare them. They're both wonderful. But if you wanna have the orchestral orgasms, you gotta play the whole instrument. And I don't even just mean the genital part. I mean the whole instrument, this part, and this part from, from head to toe, this part.

Yeah. Everything. So that's, that's the, that's the that's most important thing, I think. I 

love that. That's amazing. And that's why your book is so, valuable. And again, like if you have not gotten an, uh, women's anatomy of arousal, you must, it's a must. Yeah. 

You know, I have to just say I, I have a very distinct before and after experience of myself and my own body, Sheri. Mm-hmm.  From "before" I did Sheri's work well into a, uh, sex expert career, to "After" Sheri's teachings. 

And this body learned, really up leveled, the refinement, the distinctions, the subtlety. So much of my own. I had a big growth spurt in my own experience, of my own pleasure, of my own communication ability, and my understanding of how my sexual body can expand due to this understanding of this is how my sexual self can fully come online, like Uplevel on turn on big time.

So I encourage everyone to seek out Sheri. And, um, she's just, as you can see. you've only had an. 

I know. And so much we got out of her in one hour. 

Get 

yourself lots of hours with Sheri, lots of hours. 

Well, like I said, I do have some recorded online courses and classes. Yeah. Just as a way to really get the information, because it's not just me talking, but I'm also an artist I've done my own anatomy illustrations.

I use lots of visuals. So there's lots of, um, different ways to learn. because some people learn better by seeing than hearing. 

Free Gift from Sheri

Yeah. We have actually you've generously given us a free gift for our viewers. Could you say a little bit about Her-Gasmic Abundance online class? 

Yeah. So it's an online class. 

That's focused on female orgasm. Although I must say pretty much most of the stuff that's in, it would apply to most people with, with whatever kind of body you have, whatever sort of plumbing you have. But it is focused on female orgasm because we, we have a huge orgasm gap. And that's just unacceptable.

It's worse than the wage gap. 

You need to bridge that gap. That's right. 

Yeah. Yeah. We have a lot of women who are not having orgasms who have not yet learned how to have an orgasm at all, or have them sometimes, but they're not assured. And, and I do always wanna say to women, you're, there's nothing wrong with you.

You are not broken. It's just stuff you haven't learned yet. It's like playing the piano. If you haven't learned how to play the piano. You don't feel ashamed, but you can learn if you want. Yeah. So this is about how to learn, to play your own instrument and become a virtuoso of your own erotic abilities, capacities, equipment, the whole, the whole nine years.

I love that. It's gonna be such an incredible gift. Thank you so much for offering that. Thank you so much for that. All of our, uh, participants make sure that you grab that gift and tune in more to Sheri and her work, because it is vast and profound and really changing the face of, of what we know sexuality to be.

thank you, sheri. 

Yeah. Sheri. 

It's my pleasure.

yeah, ours too. Exactly. It's all our pleasure. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you for the work you're doing and getting the information for me and all these other wonderful speakers out people, because you are both so, uh, wise and have so much to share yourselves. 

So I'm just grateful that you're doing this and, and helping get the culture shifted into a more sex, positive living life.

Ecstatic, positive world. 

Yes, 

absolutely.  A live awakened world. That's what we're going for here. 

,. And, uh, we'll see all of you for the next interview.

The Dish | with Leah & Willow

Now. Our favorite part. The dish.

Wow. Well, well, well here we are again, post, post interview with the great Sheri Winston. 

Ah, I just love Sheri. 

I love Sheri God. Is she a wealth of information and knowledge and wisdom and expertise? 

Oh my gosh. She's such a, and she's such a great teacher and she just feels so user friendly. She's like, I feel like she's just such a mama of wisdom, you know, 

she's so yummy.

And I, as I was with her again, I, I forgot just how much I have integrated her teachings. Like some of the things I say on a regular basis now is a part of what I teach. 

I forgot that it was a lot of stuff came from her, you know? 

Absolutely. Like she's been a huge influence in how I share so much of what I've learned in my own body.

So thank you, Sheri. 

Yeah. And it surprises me actually. How many women have not heard of her book before? I mean, very conscious women have really never heard of what Sheri's up to or her work or what she's doing. 

So you'll hear me tout her book over and over again. Women's Anatomy of Arousal. Go get it.

If you have not read it, get it. Now women's anatomy of arousal.  uh, 

she's the, the top three books I recommend to students. For 

sure. 

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Her book is like homework assignment. 

Yeah. Maybe, you know, I have a, uh, suggested reading list. So at some point we will get that on the website as a little.

Download for y'all. 

That sounds fun. Yeah. Enjoy this interview with Sheri because  she really highlights like the importance of, um, how we use our sexuality, not just in sex, but in everything that we do physically. 

I really like that part of it. because we can go into like mentally and spiritually pretty easily, but really how we use our sexuality to give birth, how we can use our sexuality to, move physically through these bodies and these, these lives that we're in.

So it was really fun to listen to her. 

You know what I didn't realize she, she might have taught me this before in the past, but what I, what I do remember is oftentimes I will have, if someone penetrates me before I'm really, really ready, uh, it can hurt. Like something bumps up against my cervix. It's uncomfortable.

And once she gave me that insight, this whole idea of premature penetration and how we're all guilty of it. It's like for some reason, there's this urgency to get it up, get it in and get it off in sex. And I don't know if it's our illusion because we think we don't have enough time for everything in our day or what propels us to like rush into penetrative sex.

But I was really, it really made sense to me when she first taught me that in order for that to dissipate, in order for us to be able to really want it deep. You know, those times when, like you just wanna grab their ass and you wanna get them all the way in you like those times and you are so, and you are so deep, it's like, you just wanna, your pussy just wants to gobble it all.

I, I love those. I love those hot turned on moments. And the reason why we feel that way is because we're turned on enough that the cervix actually pulls up and makes more space so that we can take something more fully in, deeper in. And I love that. 

And I always tell our students that our workshops look, you gotta be aware that if you spend more time on the turn on phase, there isn't gonna be that flinch back because it hurts when someone penetrates you. You're gonna wanna grab their ass and take 'em all the way in, and everyone should want that.

But what I didn't realize, like the next layer that Sheri really brought to the table for me in the interview, was that like this whole connection between that there's this well in the back of the Yoni where the sperm can kind of pool. And then when the cervix dips in and then contracts up and dips in and contracts up, how it's, it's like a sucker that brings the sperm into the cervix, that whole part around fertility.

Wow. Did that go? Ding, ding, ding. That is so F-ing cool. Yeah. Like her bodies are so cool. 

Yeah. If you didn't think your body was a miracle already," Sheri, describe these, what are called round ligaments, but we, she has renamed them. It's much more appropriate name and, you know, she's just, she's just so wise.

I was thinking, you know, because the way that I train sexologists to be sexologists is to be the ologist, the study of, or the observator of your own sexual energy. And. I just, she's such a true sexologist. I mean, she figured out literally through her body, through her experience, through what she knows about midwifery midwifery.

Yeah. Through what she knows about let down in the breasts, you know, when you're breastfeeding, you get that sensation of let down. And she figured out through that part of her anatomy, what Amita actually is. I mean, she's just so brilliant. So 

yeah. Was amazing. 

The story cool about Amrita and her, her suspicion and her doubt, and then seeing it for the first time and then experiencing it for the first time and how all of that started to really lift and change.

I love that she gave us her journey yeah. Into the whole female Ejaculation process. Yeah. It was so great. Uh, and then the other thing was really cool. Like again, coming back to like psycho linguistics of language, And her talking about these pockets within, , the uterine wall that they call crypts, which is like, it should be called a spa hotel.

Yeah. I mean, not crypts where like the sperm get to like hang out for five days in, in the atmosphere in order to capitalize on the ovulating, um, moment to increase the ability to get pregnant. That it's not a crypt. You're not, They're not going there to like die. They're going there to really survive.

It's the opposite, you know, I thought that was so 

cool. 

Yeah, it's so fascinating. When a woman gets into anatomy because anatomy was developed by the male brain, you know, it was like the, the scientists and the doctors of old were always men. And they were the ones who got to name everything and coin everything, and like phrase everything.

And it's all this, you know, kind of, it's just sometimes the, the words that we use for, um, structures in the body are either negative or completely nonsensical, or like you just said the complete opposite of what they actually do. 

I also loved how there's this correlation between like sperm and it's fight...

it's like if you're in a long term relationship, right, how the sperm react compared to if the partner might be cheating. And have the sperm revive themselves in order to be the fittest. And I just thought, wow, that's so interesting. Because yeah, long-term sex a common complaint. Long-term sex long-term relationship,

with Sex. Yeah. , you know, it can be routine and it can get a little boring. I think that's the big struggle for long term relationships is how to keep sex interesting and engaging. And there is something to be said about why is having an affair so compelling? You know, what is like that biological impulse that, you know, helps us feel alive? 

Which just is kind of just a sideline, but I just wanna like bring it in for a minute. I really love what Esther Perel says about this whole idea of affairs. That the reason why infidelity infidelity is compelling is because it brings us  into relationship with something that we thought that we lost within ourselves. Mm-hmm. It's like when in long-term relationship, there are certain parts of ourself that kind of go to the wayside.

That part that gets really exciting, and it's turned on, and the novelty of something, that freedom of something, that whatever those parts are that get sort of covered up. When you have an affair, you get to be in relationship with that part of yourself that you thought was missing. And so I think it'd be fun to talk further in another episode about how can we do that without infidelity?

How can we reengage those parts of ourselves without having to go through the painful betrayal, rejective experience, and chaotic drama filled stuff, that infidelity brings? How can we have an affair with our partner?  

Role play, baby, role play. Yeah. Um, among many other things. Yes. Let's bookmark that for sure.

For future podcast guest. 

So, I guess there's one other thing that really popped up in this episode for me. And I wanted to get your expertise on this. If you know much about the hormone, is it Limerence, Limerence? She talked about it in nursing. How, you know, there, there was quite a big conversation about how we are doing disjustice to our mothers, to our new mothers, to the whole nursing institution, to the giving up of nursing and why it's so valuable to get the proper nursing training.

And part of it was because it releases this hormone called Limerence in Limerence helps us fall in love. With our baby. And so, and that that's a unique experience through nursing, but I do believe that also LIMS also floods the brain during the cocktail experience of falling in love, because Ian Ferguson spoke about that with his relationship to, um, JIA of the erotic blueprints.

And that word came up again. And I just wanted to know, have you heard of, of LIMS. As a hormone, not familiar 

with that one. Mm-hmm 

okay. Let's get an expert on here that can talk about lamence of all I know of so many of these wonderful cocktail hormones that flood our brain during falling in love and in sex.

And that was a new one for me. So we have our homework to do. 

Yeah. That'll be fun to dive into that's one of the best things is we get to learn 

so 

much. 

Yeah. We get to learn right along with you. So I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as we did. And, uh, love, love, love to Sheri. Yeah. 

And let us know what, what you got out of it, what it brought to your life?

Send us um, send us a? Message inside of the Instagram account @sexreimagined. We'd love to hear from 

you there. Yeah, please do. And we will have Sheri on again. So one of the things that we do with your comments with a, uh, sex expert is if we hear enough from y'all and you've got some great questions, boy, will that, um, get us to.

Get them back on the show as soon as possible, because this is your show. And we wanna have things on here that spark and inspire you 

and maybe even do some co-teaching with them so we can invite that forward too. 

All right y'all have a beautiful day. Love, love, love. 

Thanks for tuning in. If the hosts seem to know what they were talking about, that's because they do.

Leah Piper is a Tantric sex master coach and a positive psychology facilitator. Dr. Willow brown is both a Chinese and functional medicine doctor and a Taoist sexology teacher. Don't forget your comments, likes, subscribes, and suggestions matter. Let's realize this new world together.