Ian Ferguson: What's Your Erotic Blueprint?

Ian Ferguson is a Master Trainer of the Erotic Blueprint™ Methodology and co-founder of Jaiya, Inc., a company dedicated to radically transforming how society discusses and experiences sex. He is an international speaker who has appeared on top podcasts for Tony Robbins and media such as Good Morning America, VH1, and Anderson Live and has been profiled in Details magazine. His mission, along with over 100 Certified Erotic Blueprint Coaches™, is to release shame around sex, helping people empower themselves to reclaim the pleasure and true erotic expression of their birthright.

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• Free Erotic Blueprint Quiz (The paid quiz is at the top, but the free one is farther down on the website)
• Ian Ferguson & Jaiya | The Erotic Blueprints

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Welcome

 We are here today with Ian Ferguson, who is a master trainer of the erotic blueprint methodology, and co-founder of Jaiya Inc. A company that is dedicated to radically transforming how society discusses and experiences sex. So his mission is to release shame around sex, helping people empower themselves to reclaim the pleasure and the erotic expression that is their birthright.

And we are so honored and so excited to have Ian on our call today. 

Welcome to the sex reimagined podcast, where sex is shame free and pleasure forward. Let's get into the show. 

So welcome Ian. Yeah. 

Thank you so much. Thank you for inviting me. Yeah, it's great to meet you both. 

Ian, before the Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough

Yeah, really a pleasure. So one of the things that we are really curious about Ian was just, you know, who were you before you got into this whole erotic blueprint world and the sexual healing world and all, all of what you've  📍 been doing for quite a while now, who were you before?

All of that? 

Yeah. What led you to this? To where you are today? 

well, what leads so many people is their lover, their partner  leads you down. , interesting paths and, uh, I'll get to that at the tail end of the story, but my life definitely wasn't in the realm of sexuality, my early life, I've had a few faces, as I've moved into the adult, into the adult realm, early on, I was in entertainment.

I was doing directing, producing theater, some off Broadway, off, off Broadway stuff in New York. That journey took me to LA. I was still kind of messing around in the entertainment industry, making a little bit of headway, but then realizing why am I hustling my butt around this town to be on TV shows that I would never waste my life watching.

And that most of the people I knew who were working professionals, were, you know, always struggling to get the next job and all that kind of stuff. So the creative, uh, output for the amount of you know, blood that you have to spill to get there was not worth the equation. And, uh, in that journey, I stumbled my way into doing, design work and, , that's kind of a whole long story in and of itself, but I, I basically got a job at a, at a friend of mine's furniture store.

And within a few months they were needing to compete with other people in the market who were doing custom stuff for other people. And my buddy pointed me and said, you're the only one in this shop that can draw. And I started drawing these designs for people in their homes. And then that turned into my own business a few later years later, where I was doing custom massive interior work for, Uh, Ashton Kutcher, drew Barrymore, Michelle Pfeiffer.

So I ended up in like, sort of like this whole high end echelon with top designers in Los Angeles and working for all of these clients and living in Venice. And somewhere in that thread, uh, mysterious, elf dropped in my ear that, uh, I had just I'd been divorced and I had moved down to Venice and I was like, you know, living the puer aeternus life of like, the bachelor.

And, a guy had dropped in my ear that for whatever reason, you didn't know me from Adam, like, Hey, you might wanna check out this thing that happens next to my AA class. It's some weird dance thing. And people go in there and they move around and I made my way back to movement and sort of not theater per se, but back to movement and dance, which is where it all began for me into five rhythms.

And, that is, that is where I ended up meeting Jaiya. And that's what took me specifically down this path of the sex and sexuality. But all along the way, I was doing personal development work, Tony Robbins, Landmark , all of the, kind of like self-improvement self-development work. 

Terrible sex and the end of Marriage

And, in the ending of my marriage, I, and I would say that my, a good chunk of why my marriage failed was because the sex life was terrible, and that was 99.9% on me.

That was my doing, because I was not, I realized like, oh my God, I did not have the presence. I did not have the grounding to simply be with my wife to find out what would bring her pleasure beyond my ego, beyond my, you know, the 30 minutes of my attempting and trying. And I didn't make the efforts at that time to really make a difference for her.

And, and, uh, yeah, I would say it was a big, it was a big, big pain point in our relationship. And one of the main building blocks for the end of it. So, I had made a decision out of that, the first decision that was a pivotal decision, the next partner that I had, I would be fully to the best of my ability, a hundred percent present.

To the point of learning what turned this person on so I could provide it for them. And I had a couple of, short term monogamous relationships after the divorce. And I had made that pivotal decision and the sex life was just with that decision alone, had already radically transformed the experience for myself, for the person I was with.

Polyamory 

And, then I started to get like, wait a second, I'm boxing myself too much in. This is what I did in my marriage. And this is what I'm doing again with monogamous relationships, where my partner wants me to be something for their own sense of security, that I am not. They don't want me to, they don't want me flirt with somebody else. They don't want me to express attraction. They don't even want me to talk about my ex-wife. I'm like, that is a huge part of my life. And I found this in, in a couple of relationships after I got outta marriage. And then I heard this notion of polyamory. I didn't know what it was.

I heard the overall philosophy. And without knowing anybody, practicing it, without knowing anything about how to do it, I claimed it. I said, this is what I'm doin. I was sure that I would be a lonely bachelor. Every person would run for the Hills, thinking your commitment phobic. And nobody's, you're just trying to get laid.

And I was like, well, my approach to this is I'm gonna let everybody know right out the bat, the right outta the gate, this is what I'm up to. And I'm experimenting and exploring, but I am committed to this because it feels like it's a philosophy that will work for me. Well, I thought it'd be, like I said, a pariah, nobody would come hear me.

The honesty, turns out, ended up being some kind of aphrodisiac. And I ended up dating five women within two weeks who all knew about each other. None of them knew about polyamory. So that's a challenge in and of itself. 

Ian meets Jaiya

But about two weeks in, I then, uh, in that cont, in that, , five rhythm's  class I scooped in and did some contact improvisation movement with Jaiya.

And that's when my relationship with her began. And she is the first person who I who was truly poly, had experience with it and knew how to navigate the waters of open relating. 

So, how long ago was that Ian? 

Uh, that was 15 years ago. So it's been... 

...what a journey you've been on. I love how like, but even all the stuff that you did beforehand has probably really played into, you know, what you've co-created with Jaiya, just all of the, you know, the, the production of what you guys have put together is quite profound and it really has changed the way people talk about sexuality and the way they discuss it.

And you can distill it down to the most simple thing and give it to someone in like a five minute. Here's what this is. Or it could go deep into it and study it for over, you know, for years. So it's really, it's really a gift, you know, the, the discovery and your commitment to like, I'm gonna actually listen and see what the person is like, what does bring them pleasure.

Mm-hmm  listening to yourself and listening to them really transforms everything. Just that decision to do so. 

A hundred percent. So yeah, it wasn't like diving deep into Tantra classes or going like way into the study of Taoist practices or going deep into kink studies. It was, it's the thing, like kind of like the fundamental thing that we, if we, if we could only teach one thing, it would be presence.

Yes. Absolutely. 

So what have been some of the challenges like as you and Jaiya now are like walk, is it Jaiya or Jaiya? Jaiya. Jaiya. Okay. Uh, I've got a friend spells it the same way, pronounce this it differently. 

Oh, cool. 

leah

As you have, like walked down this path... right? And you're building this business, and I'm, I think you have a son together, and like, this journey unfolds 15 years is a lot of years to have a lot of life... 

mm-hmm

So what have been some of the challenges and obstacles that you've had to overcome to get to this place? 

The Sex, Love, and Goop Experience on Netfix

You know, for those of you who don't know, the erotic blueprints just got launched on sex love and intimacy goop. I probably should. Sex, Love, and Goop. Yeah. On Netflix, if you haven't seen it. 

Must watch.

This, this episode is over.

You must go and start watching it. You'll be really delightfully enlightened. And my experience was like my heart softened and opened. And I was in such celebration of these brave couples and to just have this really gentle beginning place, I think some people start to look at something like Tantra or the erotic blueprints or some sort of new sexuality adventure, and they think they have to jump into the deep end and it can get a little scary sometimes that adventure's too big of an adventure.

And I love how, the team and Netflix created a gentle adventure. Like you can you walk into this type of exploration, whichever door you're coming from? Sometimes it's the first floor. Sometimes it's the seventh floor 

mm-hmm 

but get to control your own pace. 

Yeah. Yeah. The so many, so many points of what, what you were just saying that I would love to dive into. 

The Sex, Love, and Goop, the show beautifully done. And one of the things that was so fantastic about it was that they let the practitioners do their work. 

So the thing that you see Jaiya walking the couple through over the, the five episodes that, she and I are in is actually through, is three days of work. Like intensive and it is multiple preparation sessions and then, we did some post sessions with them as well. So people also look at something like a TV show and they go, oh my God, the arc of that person's growth and what they learned. And I want to have that transformation like that, you know, in the, in the snap of a finger. There, there were so many ups and downs and ebbs and flows and they caught a lot of it, but they also are not catching those transitional moments.

And a lot of the, the things were just as beautiful, just as amazing. Things that, that were part of those journeys, and the fear, and this, you know, like what does this mean about me? 

And a lot of those questions that you're pointing to, and that is one of the other things that you're pointing to where I think in business, that's one of the things that we run up to against, which is the hardest to overcome, which is this sense of the outsider looking in, right.

They're looking in on something and they think it's all, everybody's got their shit together, and it's totally developed. And the, and it's gonna be scary, and they're gonna be asked to do things that they don't want to do, or they don't even know what those things are, right, that they're gonna be asked to do.

And there are certainly communities where that's true, but we're one for all, for titrating your experience. Because the waters are deep, the possibilities are endless. And you what's the Indian, saying about you, how do you eat elephant one bite at a time, so you've gotta start the journey where you're ready to start.

And I'm really proud of what we do, because I think we allow such a broad spectrum of the conversation to occur that you can drop in as a newbie, or you can drop in with a lot of experience in a bunch of realms of sexuality. 

I was gonna say that was my precise experience is having had now 19 years of experience in this industry, it's such, it's so refreshing to be able to step into someone else's work and go, oh my God, that just opened another door for me.

Mm, thank you. Yeah. 

To just reassure people that what's so fun and I think profound and beautiful and encouraging about the sexual arts is it doesn't get boring. You know, it continues to grow you. 

Yeah. The more you learn, the more there is to learn. 

Yeah. The more you open, the more curious you get.

 The more you get to confront another place of fear that you can overcome, as long as you could do it with taking really good care of yourself.

Mm-hmm  

yeah. Mm-hmm  I think, you know, probably most of our listeners ha know about the erotic blueprint, but some of them may not. So let's take a little moment to cover that. 

that'd be great. 

Yeah. Walk us through it Ian. 

The Erotic Breakthrough - Don't short change your self.

Okay, cool. And I wanna caveat this because it also points to something that you were mentioning, uh, Leah just a minute ago, which is; this can be a five minute conversation or this could be a multi-year exploration and the blueprints, the, the erotic blueprints and the typing system is fantastic.

And it also, I think, does a little bit of a disservice for people because people love the label. Right? People love the quick fix and like, oh, I'm a kinky type. So now I know this about myself. And we often say that once, you know your primary blueprint type, it shows you more where you're limited than where you're resourced.

Because if you're primary kinky and you haven't explored energetic, or you haven't explored sensual, then you're leaving so much on the table and your partner is very likely one of the opposing blueprints. 

So you're also not understanding the full depth of that. And then the blueprint, the erotic blueprint's cosmology is deeper than just the blueprint types it has to do with your sexual wellness.

It has to do with what stage or state of sexuality you're in and also dismantling the shadows of your blueprint. Like what is standing in the way of you finding pleasure in your body? Or expanding into that new zone that you're so curious about? But, the certainly super exciting aspect of it is the typing system.

And it boils down into five blueprint types. 

The Energetic 

You have the energetic, the energetic is turned on by anticipations, space, tease the longing. That unrequited kiss. It's kind of like the anticipation before the kiss is so much more exciting than when you collapse the lips onto your partner's lips, then it's just like, oh, now we're just into the flesh. But before we were in the cosmos, we were in the universal experience of connection. 

The shadows of an energetic, uh, they, the, their hypersensitivity, which can be a superpower, can also be a shadow because things become too much, too quick, too fast stimulation. They're aware of everything that's going on in the environment. Sometimes what we found can be a common thing is for energetics may have a history of having their boundaries crossed or having had their boundaries crossed. So they have that hypersensitivity. 

The Sensual 

The second blueprint, would you like me to just kind of rifle 'em off? 

Yeah, you go. 

Okay. The second blueprint is the Sensual blueprint and they are all about their, all the senses being ignited.

Uh, the Sensual blueprint can orgasm, have an orgasmic experience from eating a juicy strawberry or smelling some beautiful perfume of flowers in the air? The environment they want the music to be just right. The lighting to just be just right, all the smells to be perfect. And those things that where the Sensual brings the artistry to sexuality can also be the flip side and the shadow.

Where anything out of place is a complete distraction and makes them completely lose the pleasure in their body. The, uh, the sensual can be distracted by the thoughts they're carrying around in their head. I didn't make that, I didn't return that phone call. The socks are, uh, on the bed, on the bedroom floor.

The dog's hair is everywhere, or how do I smell down there? This is taking too long. So that inner monologue is the kind of the Achilles heel for most true Sensuals in their shadow. 

The Kinky 

The next blueprint would be the kinky blueprint. This is of course a vast, a vast area of conversation. The quick in with the kinky for us is kinky is taboo is whatever is taboo for you.

So, often people think about kink and they think about Dungeons and whips and chains and pain and pleasure and dominance and submission. And it can be all of those things. 

And it can also be simply having sex or enjoying intimacy in some way that feels naughty or like it's, you're not supposed to be doing it.

An example was a couple that, we had worked with who had had sex in missionary position for 25 years. They went to the same restaurant every Tuesday night for dinner, and for them to do oral sex or have sex doggy style was kinky. Like that was way off the reservation. Right? So whatever's taboo for you.

And we'll, we'll talk about the sens sensation based kinky, the people who like constriction, or the spanking, or the scratching, or the more intense stuff of blood play. And then, uh, the other is the psychological and they tend to really get turned on by the dominance and submission games, the mental game play.

And the shadow, the biggest shadow for Kinkies would be shame, because it's, it's less so now, just because there's been so much talk about it or movies and, you know, sort of pop culture awareness of it, but there's still an incredible amount of shame associated to, "why am I this way? Why am I turned on by this thing? And I shouldn't be turned on". And yet it's that, that taboo nest that actually turns up the volume of the turn on. 

The Sexual 

And then we have the sexual. The sexual is what you would think, which is the person who's just turned on by genitals and orgasms and Ejaculation.

And they like the breast, the boobs, the chest, the tongue, the, all of the stuff that, we typically, culturally think about as sex and intercourse. They are, they bring the fun to sex. They bring the simplicity to sex. They can go from zero to 60 in a few seconds. They're ready to go. 

The shadow, one of the shadows for the sexual is that they, kind of, can miss the journey. And sometimes that means they miss their partner in the journey because they are so focused on the orgasm and the, the desire for climax. They're not there for the ride. 

And an interesting distinction between like a sexual and sensual- is a sexual really, they are fed by having sex.

It's like oxygen to them. They feel validated. They feel grounded and rooted in their life. They operate better in their life when they're having sex. So they need sex to relax. 

The sensual on the flip side, they need to relax in order to open to their sexuality. 

So you can see how these polar opposites kind of play against each other.

Yeah. That's why it's so useful to know what your sort of primary go to is on this path and what your partner and your partners. 

The Shapeshifter 

Yeah. The final blueprint is the shapeshifter and the shapeshifter loves it all wants it all. They want more of it. They want more of it all the time. This the, they are a trained or expressed shapeshifter is kind of like a stradivarius violin. The perfect instrument, everything just hums and tunes perfectly, and can be played with such delicacy. 

And the shapeshifter often has heard that you are too much. You're too big. You want too much. And so they've often shut themselves down. And, uh, shapeshifters also do do exactly that. They'll shapeshift to please the lover that they're with.

So they're with Sensual lover, they go sensual. And then they just exist in that pocket and they leave all the other needs, wants and desires off the table. 

And then they end up starving in their relationships because their partner doesn't know, typically, usually won't know how to meet them in all of those areas.

Erotic Blueprints - The Genisis Story

I'm so curious how, uh, how this all came into development, you know, what was sort of the process you went through with jaiya? 

So our relationship was a catalyst in many ways for healing, you know, the dead bedroom, for healing the sexless relationship. because our relationship started with all the heat, all the passion, you know, the early limerence period, couldn't keep our hands off of each other.

Then our son was born and it felt like the day our son was born was the day that the 2008 recession hit my business. Like the business that I was in at the time, which was all of the construction and design work went belly up and felt like overnight. So Jaiya had suffered a pelvic tear. So her sexuality was completely transformed and she had to go through healing.

She still was sexual wanted to connect that way. Her primary blueprints were sexual and energetic. Mine were Sensual and kinky, but we didn't have that language at the time. Mm-hmm  so. We, I hit this libido tank, I, because of all the stress of work, the newborn child, the, all of the things going on. And I started to go into my old patterns of kind of like shutting down.

And my confidence dropped through the floor. Jaiya was crying herself to sleep at night because she's a sex educator with, you know, books on the subject and she can't get her partner to make love to her. And that's her love language. She wants to be having sex to feel validated. So the chasm just kept growing.

And we, we were just, we couldn't, we couldn't figure it out. We didn't have a language as, as much as she knew all the sex techniques and all the things that she thought would be the things that would reignite  that flame. Along at that same time, she started to get downloaded from already, you know, 10 years of work in the field, plus 10 years plus in the field where she started to really see these patterns emerging with clients, of this client get totally turned on by this type of activity.

This client's flat lined. And realizing that people were completely missing each other in this language of connection. So, our relationship has always been a petri dish for exploration and so anything she was learning there, she was, we were taking, we were starting to cultivate into sex life challenges, and something we call sexy sex labs and diving deep into, seeing what it took. What did it really take to keep this energy alive in a long term relationship? And it takes, it takes dedication, right. Like so many people think we've been sold to fairytale of spontaneous, you know, spontaneous romance and spontaneous sex.

And if you loved me, it would be that way. Or if they loved me, they would be craving me and desiring me and chasing me around the house all day. 

Well,  the it's something like it's less than 10% of people of the population walk around sexually aroused or in an aroused state at any given time. So do the math and you'll realize that you and your partner or your partners are not typically walking around wanting it.

You've gotta set the mood. You've gotta cultivate. So we did adventure dating, the whole like, came up with all of these frameworks to practice and play at reigniting passion and reconnecting. And all of that sort of tragic story  lasted like two, two and a half years where we were in this morass of sort of a sexist relationship, trying to figure our way out.

And all of that is now I think, well, my son's just 13. So that was like 11 years ago that we finally started to make our way out. And I, our relationship is just freaking amazing. 

Ah, that's so powerful. And I love that. you know, I mean that's such a common occurrence for people. We had a baby and the sex life went away, you know?

Oh yeah. That's what I'm working with constantly. And so, you know, thank you for just bringing that forward and just letting everyone know, like it's, you can get through that. Like there's a language for it now here's a beautiful language that you can learn. Yeah. And, develop, like, get through that tough spot so that you can come out the other side even more glorious than before.

Yeah. And each of those stages, right. You know, she had the pelvic tear. This is an opportunity for healing, but if we override it, if we don't honor what's happening for her body and those needs at the same time as other needs might be present, you know, then we're, we have the possibility of reinforcing hurt, in the relationship. And overstepping boundaries. And feeling, you know, having our partner feel unseen or feeling unseen ourselves. 

Empathy, Understanding, and Curiosity

And that's where the stages and states of sexuality come into. The whole framework of the blueprint is; you know, if you're in a resting or a healing stage and your partners in an adventurous stage, then, and you have no way to articulate this, then you're just in suffering.

Because you both want different things. You don't know what's going on. But if you start to understand I'm adventurous, I really I've learned a bunch of stuff. I want to go out. I wanna start, you know, exploring kink and my lover is in resting and healing because she just, you know, got over a pelvic floor trauma, or realized something from her past that's now she's gotta kind of cope with then we, we could be at odds, we'd be, you know, fighting.

But if we can open to empathy, we can open to really exploring, well, how can we meet these needs, under the current circumstances, then the love deepens. Then the trust deepens, then the intimacy deepens, and we're co-creating the unique element that our relationship itself needs. 

Beautiful. So beautiful.

It's such a Testament to what's possible when you really devote to your own truth, as well as being in relationship, you know, with your partner's truth as well. 

A hundred percent. 

I think also it's, uh, this is where sometimes our first place of shifting has to come to notice if we're in a different stage, oftentimes people's mindset closes.

And when our mindset closes, we become very judgemental. And the thing that will suffocate judgment is curiosity. 

Yeah, exactly. 

And I think that the, the blueprints of, it's a beautiful example of how to show up with more curiosity. And when we can be curious about what our partner, our lover, our spouse, our beloved is going through what's happening in their beautiful tortured mind in this moment, you know, can I just be really curious about that. And see them not as a problem to fix but as something to be like, oh, you're so interesting.

You're still so interesting. 

Let me understand you more.... 

Yeah. I wanna really know what's going on. And then when your partner can be that curious about you, now you've got this place where opening a occurs and that curiosity will always open things and boom, then we've got connection, then we can... 

A hundred percent. 

...right there for each other.

Yeah. 

And then solutions arise from there. Trying to come up with solutions out of judgment is a one way street to hell.  

Yeah. Yeah. 

It's just so hard. Or, or, or need thinking that the, that there's only one solution. My partner has to love me this way, that's what love looks like. 

Yeah. 

As opposed to we're creating love, what does that look like?

Yeah. So any, any words of wisdom or tidbits of advice for those who are stuck in that mentality of, you know, they're not loving me this way and therefore they must not really love me. They must not see me. They must not really get me. Maybe I should walk away and find someone who does 

mm-hmm  well, curiosity, you know, the thing that you point a keyword we drop all the time.

Get curious. Get curious about your own presuppositions. Like, how are you thinking about it? What is that the only way that you receive love? And what other opportunities would there be for you to receive love? Ask the question. Well, how does my partner give love? You know, you have the love languages, which is... 

right.

...another sort of form of this kind of typing system, where you get some insights as to  well, maybe the way that I'm loving my partner is not gonna be received by them, because it's not their love language. It's the same in, in with the erotic blueprints, what actually registers as love? Caring, concern, being seen.

And I'm a, am I willing to give it? Right? 

Right. 

And then, that's the deeper question where that is, that is the question. When you get to that point and you are in a relationship with someone and they are unwilling, that is a danger red. That is, that is the, that is the sign that the person is not willing to engage in what will actually generate a loving, fulfilling, deeply intimate, and satisfying relationship. If you have love and you have willingness, then it's this curiosity, you know. And, and also being curious for your lover of, well, uh, you know, what are there, there was something you had said Leah a little bit ago when you're talking about curiosity and getting into the questioning, there's the question of your own motives?

What it is that you you're boxing yourself into a corner to think that there's only one solution to right, this, this challenge, and you're boxing your lover into a corner by thinking that they are a fixed way. That's what it was. So,  

often if your partner is willing but resistant, it can feel like they're actually not willing.

But getting curious about what's underneath the resistance. Finding out what is the fear, what is the thing that is having you stop putting your foot, stepping your foot in the, the shallow end of this pool? It's often not the thing that we think. They're scared to death that they're not gonna succeed.

They don't want to admit that they have certain sexual desires because they're gonna be judged. They're never told anybody. So if you can set a safe container to start to have the conversation, your desires are safe with me. Mm-hmm  and you gotta mean it. 

Yeah. Yeah. That's where all the medicine's at. You know, when you open that box of like, what's under this resistance, why is it here?

Why, why am I afraid or what is holding me back? And you start to like, get in there and look around and see what's there. You get to discover parts of yourself that have been missing possibly your whole life. And when you bring them into your sexuality, these parts of yourself that have been missing, they, they also come online in all these other parts of your life.

You become way more whole, way more magnetic and things start to just flow more in your life. So...  

Yeah, that's a good exercise. I've seen, uh, the two of you facilitating groups is that question of your, or not question, but reassurance that your desire is safe with me. Mm-hmm  and allowing that to bubble up in the other and to take those risks and to increase the emotional capital between you and your partner.

Yeah. Yeah. 

If you can figure out ways to increase the capital between the two of you, then you can take those risks and you can share those things. I think some of the powerful questions that can often be asked to our partner and with some space around them is, what does it mean to you? Mm-hmm.  What does it, what are you believing? Mm-hmm. or Or who would you like to be in this relationship?

Who would you, what would it look like... mm-hmm.  ...if you could have it all your way? And just be able to like, hold that and, and again, meet it with curiosity? 

Curiosity. Yeah. And the interesting thing, you probably may have seen one of these, of where we'll, uh, take people into a diad, which is a formal, formal, back and forth.

You're not getting into a conversation so much as asking a question, getting a response and simply saying, thank excuse me. Thank you. I understand. You're not agreeing with them. You're not getting into argument or a conversation about it. But by asking the same question over and over and over and over again for like 30 minutes. Right. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, you start to get to some really interesting, interesting things.

You know, people start to go blank after like seven minutes, like, ah, I don't know, keep going...  

right, right. 

And just keep sitting with what's underneath the next question, underneath the next question. And then you start to have a menu, right? This, this menu of possibilities of, well, what's the next step that we could take?

Pleasure Education

And around sexuality, often people don't look for coaches, mentors, trainings, they stay stuck in their, you know, little spiral of conversation with their lover, and they don't realize that there are people out there who have the ability to move the ball for them significantly and very quickly, because they can see all sorts of possibilities that the couple is not even, or the, you know, multi, I don't wanna leave the poly people out.

But, you know, all the partners are able to explore, but they have no awareness. So, you know, getting mentorship, actually doing education around sex and pleasure. Because what is our sex and pleasure education in our culture? It's horrifying. Right? The sex education, mostly biological doesn't even have to be factually accurate in 37 states or something like that. Right. And, and then 

is that true? 

Yeah, it's true. Doesn't have to be factually accurate. And , and then... 

well, there you go, everybody. 

...there you go.  

yeah. 

There's our problem right there. 

Yes. 

And then you have the, you know, the other aspect, which is, who is doing any pleasure education?  Right? Especially like, you know, there's definitely challenges when you talk about educating kids about this, but even starting at 18, right?

Like, where's the pleasure education. This is a pleasure to toy the body that you've been given. 

Right. 

And you've, it'd be good to learn how to use it. Mm-hmm . 

And, and so how are you addressing that within your own company? How what's the, what are you ex really excited about right now, in terms of solving that problem?

Well, a lot of our focus over the last five years has been training coaches. So we trained over 300 coaches in the blueprint methodology, and we're at a real turning point with our company. Jaiya's Sexual Sadhanas is, is basically done, so she's moving into more work around enlightened consciousness. And, and doing, the word that I can never remember.

So, um, and you know, that has to do with all sorts of things from sexual healing work and, and all that, but less as a practitioner and more as a advocate and a philanthropist. And so we're at assuring point as a company and really looking to create, uh, or utilize the fact that the blueprints are a framework.

It's not about Jaiya, never was. You know, and we have all these coaches, we have other people who are facilitating the erotic blueprint work, and it's about growing the message through the coaches about growing the message through people who come into the courses and the trainings, and kind of join the community and start to elevate the language and, and, and start to lower the shame volume.

So it's easier for you to talk about your friend or with your friend or neighbor about, "oh yeah, our sex life sucked six months ago and we've learned a few things and things have gotten a lot better. I'd love to, you know, invite you into this thing. And, and so you have this beautiful experience and have some new learning and, and understand, um, how it can be done safely with boundaries and consent" and all of that, all that jazz.

Creating Safety 

So I think the, I think ethically this conversation around boundaries and consent and creating safety. I think is it the, is, is one of the deepest roots to the tree of what we are doing as a culture, as a company is to give people that sexual autonomy, right? That sovereignty, this is my body. This is my pleasure.

And when we choose, when I choose to come play with you, that is a mutual agreement. And we're consciously creating that agreement. And we got a lot of toys in the toy box to make it a lot of fun. But, to be able to come from the root of that safety, because I also see that as one of the biggest problems for most relationships is yes, you love this person.

You've been with them for one to 35 years. But if there is an element of you that does not feel safe, seen, heard, there is a part of you that's going to be held back constricted and unwilling to reveal your truth. 

Miracle Story 

Yeah. Can you, do you have like, um, a miracle story or like a before and after story that someone comes to mind kind of illustrating what that, that withhold, that lack of trust and then when they've done the work and maybe in their partnership, or maybe it was a solo journey and then they transform on the other side, it's like here who I was before, but here who I am now? 

Well, the, I mean, I'm not gonna reveal names, but the stories are numerous. 

Um, one client, um, female male, couple, um, married for 15 years, I think, um, the.

Uh, one of the, one of the most challenging sort of couplings that we see often is, uh, energetic with a sexual, so energetic sexual pairing. Um, the person, the woman in the relationship had swallowed 30 years of conditioning around body and had come in rigid, stiff, held, trying to be presentational at all costs.

You know, just all of these contracted energies in her body. The sexual approach of her husband of kind of coming in and wanting sex and thinking that... you know, they're beautiful, they love each other. They, they would have fun. They had a great early stage romance. They had all of those same things that so many people experience. But there was a growing tension inside of their relationship. His desire for more sex, more sexual connection, being validated in that way. Her continuing to have her boundaries crossed, continuing to reinforce this, like, rigid shutdown, "I can't even feel pleasure in my body". 

And, um, one of many things that has opened up surprisingly for the gentleman in that relationship in that relationship was act was once he got access to energetic, we realized his core, like his core is energetic is, it was not sexual. He's still driven. He still has those urges, has those wants, those desires, and still has this sort of patterning, but the energetic opened up and a lot of the work around getting to that had to do with slowing everything down.

So getting back to that presence piece... starting to feel what the response was in her body, when a certain move or a certain, uh, energy was brought into the like rapid, deep, you know, like penetrating energy. Him getting aware, oh, that's actually creating contraction in her, in her body. And for her, it was a lot of claiming, like, this is, this is okay, this is not okay.

These are the boundaries. This is the game we're playing right now. And learning to be able to trust him inside of that container that he could hear her first, and that he could actually play the game that they had set up, play the, the, you know, honor the boundaries and stick to what he had essentially promised.

So reinforcing that over and over again, training the nervous system to, to be aware of new inputs and outputs. It's sometimes it can be very, very long rigorous process, but her flow, like, I don't know if you all talk about shakti energy and that sort of thing? 

But sure do. 

Yeah. Recently it was just like we working with some music and her body just opened up, and the, all of that stiffness and rigidity just was like complete open magic.

And her husband was just like eyes big as saucers, because he just was like, 

like 

he's seeing a whole new woman. 

Oh my God. And he was able to be there in love and reverence and excitement, without the need to own, possess, and grab it. 

Yeah. 

Right? And for him a whole new level of receiving has opened up, because that was something ,completely closed down to him.

It was always about giving, giving and providing, right.  I put that in air quotes for anybody listening to audio, um, because sometimes giving actually is taking right, right. 

That's right. 

Or giving to get, yeah. 

Yeah. Giving to get. So he's, he's, he's giving pleasure, but it's all in his blueprint. So it's really feeding his needs, you know, in their early, earlier when they first came to us.

So, a lot of dynamics to unwind and that's where, you know, like we back to the beginning of the show, it's like, it's not, it's an endless, it's a, it's, there's endless possibilities. And there's a lot of unwinding to do because we've inherited so much shit.  I hope that's okay to say this on this recording, but we've inherited and we've embodied and put so much of that into our own beings that just clearing, clearing it all out is so much of the, so much of the game.

Yes exactly. We've got to take layer upon layer upon layer off. And the, the beautiful part is, well, when you were describing her, like coming into her Shakti and dancing and oh my God, behold, this whole new woman in front of this man that, you know. They've been married for 15 years. It, for me, I was like envisioning, um, a rose petal, you know, petal by petal opening.

And, and we start by like peeling layers of the onion. But at some point we cross a threshold and then it's pedals opening. You know, it's like we don't ever stop discovering and exploring even for the three of us who have been doing this work for a long time and exploring, and learning and understanding and studying our own bodies and our partners bodies.

There's still so much that we haven't experienced. Right? We've got so much more to uncover. That's what I love about this path. 

Mm-hmm . 

Yeah, and I want the audience to be encouraged by that. I think sometimes when you feel really sexually frustrated, you tend to wanna get to the end game. It's like, I just want the result.

Mm-hmm  I just want this to be the way I want it to be and for it to be functional, and for there not to be any more drama, and why can't we just be normal? And whatever that urgency is...

yeah. 

...to spend that for a minute and allow this to be an adventure, not a destination. Mm-hmm , you know, let this be something that unfolds inside of you, because it's boundless that way.

Mm-hmm  if you wanna just keep it so tight, you're doing yourself a disjustice and you'll never get to really savor mm-hmm  this thing that happens to the heart in conjunction to what's happening to your body. Yeah. Use emotional, deep, profound, mystical. Well, that's a soulful path. This can go to, I mean, if you want the profundity of what sex can be.

Let's start moving towards the deep end. 

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's the beginner's mind piece. 

Yeah, that curiosity again. Yeah. 

Mm-hmm  especially for longer term relationships where resentments and frustrations have built up that need for to fix it, to get it like you're talking about, get it my way.

Mm-hmm. There's

I feel like, um, kind of like some folks need to be slapped up against the head.  

Well, some do. 

Yeah. You're you're not gonna get the results you seek if you're coming in with the anxious. You, you it's it's this piece about slowing it down a million times. Mm-hmm.  So you get back to that presence, 

presence is key...

and you can start to relearn through the curiosity, what's here? Yeah. The person who I fell in love with 25 years ago, the body in front has been turned over four, almost five times. That's right. Biologically in that period of time. Psychologically the amount of debts that's built up, you know, love and connection and, and meaningful intimacy over that time, but also resentments.

And so how can the person be new in front of you? Yeah. For that moment. 

Yeah. How can we all be more malleable in how we look at each other and see each other again and again and again, with the attitude of like it's for the first time. Yeah, that makes so much more space for us to be who we really are. Mm-hmm  

I think there's a real vulnerability in that too, because when we view something one way, for so many years, it's comfortable, it's safe.

And so to really drop into presence and to really drop into curiosity, there's an aspect of vulnerability involved as well, because now you're seeing this person who you think, you know, without all that knowing, that myopic knowing that gets in the way of all the rest of what's available for you to experience and witness in them.

Couldn't agree more. 

Yum. Yum. 

Okay. So Ian, now hopefully this leads into your free gift, but you were talking about this couple and you were talking about like how you discovered that, you know, he wasn't actually a sexual wasn't his primary, but it was energetic. Mm-hmm  how did you discover that? 

Yeah, the core? 

Well, that's a lot of the somatic work and dropping, witnessing behavior, witnessing patterns, slowing them down, altering patterns, rewiring where somebody's getting their pleasure from. And you know, sometimes it's just repeating the same thing about a thousand times   

yeah. Beating it into their brain and their body, yeah.

And getting into their body and having them have a revelation and forget it. 

And then have the revelation three months later. And forget it. And then somewhere it starts to drip into their system in a deeper way.

And it starts to become an embodied way of being, as opposed to the forgotten miracle that happened every once in a while. 

Okay. So it wasn't through the quiz then? 

Well, I mean the quiz and the understanding of  the starting point. 

That's what I was leading too.... 

That's that, that is the starting point and starting to know your blueprints.

The indepth  Blueprint Quiz

Um, right. And the other thing about the blueprints is, uh, especially if you do the in depth version, that kicks out a whole percentage chart and tells you what your primary is, your secondary, tertiary, quaternary, and I can never remember Quinary. You're basically your whole makeup of what percentage of each blueprint type you are, um, particularly helpful information to have, because avoid, yeah.

And it avoids this myopic thing of like, oh, I'm an energetic. So now my identity's all tied up and energetic and I'm not anything else. No, you've got all these other percentages. And the other great thing about having those is if you're in partnership or dating people and you want to swap the quiz around, then you may not match up as your primary blueprint type, you know, like, Jaiya would test really high, energetic.

I would test really high kinky and further down that list we're gonna find that we do have some matchup in sensual. 

My sexual is at the lowest. Her sexual is way up there. My chart's all over the place now, but like I'm talking about, you know, 13 or when we first developed the, the quiz. So you start to find those places where you both are resourced as opposed to, oh, this person's kinky. Oh, that person's sexual. We're a mismatch. We're never gonna get along. 

No, you have, you have such depth and availability in all of these other places. You just may not find your most, um, uh, your easiest path to arousal where you're both resourced, but having the primer of your partner, then you have the ability and you start to gain a whole language of well, this is how they're fed. This is how I can meet them. This is how I can turn them on. 

And then you start to find out what it is that you, um, you, what you "want to do", what you're "willing to do". And what's in "no way" on their list. 

So like I'm a kinky Jaiya has very little interest in kink. But we've found, we've found some places where she can access it and where she can have fun and it works for her.

So that's what we use when we want to play in the kinky. Mm-hmm  

I love it. So this is the free gift that, that Ian has for all of you who are tuning in and the erotic blueprint quiz that's what's called, correct?

Yep. www.EroticBreakthrough.com. 

Okay, perfect. And so it's, it's a fun, not only is it fun, but it's so valuable to know, and then you get this whole, you know, piece of information back of like, oh, what percentage am I of this, that and the other?

And then you can give it to your husband or partner we've been married to for so long, or with for so long. And you can, 

or the new person you're dating 

or the brand new person you get to, you get to like find out something about them that you would probably not otherwise get to find out. So it's really a valuable offering. 

And just to be explicit with the listeners, we do have it set up, there is a free version. You'll get your primary blueprint type. You'll get it in the email list and start to get some in interesting information. And there's the in-depth quiz, which is $17. And does the percentages and gives you a blueprint report.

And so just a much more in depth approach to the whole thing. 

Well, worth the investment on that too. Yeah. 

Thank you. 

okay.  So in closing, yeah, we're just so grateful and, um, it's been so much fun. Is there any other words of wisdom or advice you wanna give to anyone who's exploring in their sexuality? 

Final tips from Ian 

There is no need to be afraid of your curiosity. And if you are interested in the more eccentric aspects of sexuality; could be Taoism, kink, could be Tantra. 

Some of these things are very intimidating to people mm-hmm  , just do, do some due diligence, investigate the community that you're about to get involved with, kind of find out what their reputation is, because you, you wanna find safe containers with trustworthy mentors and teachers.

And, you know, it's a, it's a, I've heard some stories of people making their first steps into the world of exploration and they find a community that's sort teacher or a coach that's not so awesome. And that can just lead to another round of ... 

more work to do. 

...getting shut down, more work to do. You know, pay attention, pay attention to who, who the mentors are that you're going for. But definitely get mentors, get education, explore, and discover. Because as we've all been talking about here, it is a path of endless pleasure possibilities. 

Thank you so much, Ian. 

Thank you.

THE DISH 

Now. Our favorite part, the dish.

All right. Sex reimagined is back and we just had the most lovely time with Ian Ferguson. I know it was so great to, to meet him, to connect with him, to hear the whole story of like where the erotic blueprint, this incredible new language in this world of sexuality that has really helped so many people understand themselves and their partners so that they can become more on the same page when it comes to sexuality.

I mean, if you've been in a relationship before, which most of us have, you may have had that experience where you're like, gosh, I just, you know, the sex was good in the beginning, but now it's like, we're just totally the opposite. We're going in totally different directions. And so having this language and this understanding of the erotic blueprint, just is a game changer for how you start to relate sexually with your partner.

And it was great to have the creator- founder of that, to just really share his expertise and knowledge with us. 

Yeah. You know, one thing I didn't mention, uh, during the interview itself, but I'll mention here is when the erotic blueprint test first got launched, you know, and it was going through all the channels.

And I, and I took the test. I really wasn't all that impressed with it as a model, I was like, you know, just didn't really well, wasn't sure where it was headed. 

And I didn't think that they put enough, I don't know, juice, tidbits, information, whatever it was to compel me to keep looking at it deeper. I think they've probably improved that since they came up with the percentages.

But I have to say, I'm really glad I didn't close myself off to it because I got to do one of their weekends online. And I really highly recommend if you get a chance to study  their model further that you do, because it is really rich. 

And you could hear in the interview, Ian, starting to talk about that the knowing your primary is really not, is not the depth of what this is. 

No, there's so much more, so many more layers. 

Yeah. And I personally was never really drawn to the whole kink world thing. It just, didn't really... not really into the whole sexual for sexual sake thing, either. 

My jam has always been more towards the energetic and sensual. Of course, those are my primary and my secondary. But it wasn't until I took that weekend. And I started to realize how closed my mindset was to these other places. 

And subconsciously in that closed place, I don't think there was any strong judgements. It was just a lot of misunderstanding on my part around why the kinky realms are so interesting to people. 

And then when I started to see what they meant my heart opened my mind, opened my desire to wanna actually push my own boundaries, and to explore, like it brought me into a new curious place where I realized I've been closing myself off to a whole realm that I really have no idea what it's about.

I have a lot of preconceived ideas and that doesn't mean that's for me., Like kink can be what I want it to be. And it really started to get me thinking, reconsidering, and it suspended my judgemental way of thinking. And I, if you can do that, you are onto something really good. 

Yeah, absolutely. Cause there's, uh, the point of getting into any new kind of sexual experience, whether it's energetic, sensual, like a Tantric practice or BDSM, like a kink type of practice, is to find out who you are on the other side of your judgments, right?

On the other side of what you think you are. Because, I mean, I don't know about y'all, but I mean, I can be like, oh, I am this person, this is my identity. This is the way I do things. This is who Willow is. And you know, anything outside of that is just, I'm not interested. It's not me and it's, but even if I haven't dipped my toes into that water, how do I know?

How do I truly know if there's not a part of me that can be opened up and expanded into, um, more wholeness? That's really what it comes down to. And I, I see this all the time and, and it's true for, for me too. And for you too, Leah, what we're talking about right now is, you know, you think if something isn't, if something is okay, like it's just, you know, the sexuality between me and my partner, it's good.

We have sex, you know, two times a week, once a month, something like that. We've been together for 14 years. We got a couple kids. It's okay. We, we do, we still have it. So it must be okay. You know, but it's like, then you don't, it's like once you start to get into maybe a Tantric practice or a kink practice and you start to see like, wow, there's much more color over here.

There's a whole different world of exploration over here. And what was once okay. Is now not okay. Right. It's like now, you are crossing the threshold into so much more of what's possible for you as a lover. And one of the things I loved, what Ian was telling us this great story of a couple who had been together long time, kids,

the whole thing. Were, you know, raised a family. I think they were like later in their seventies or something if I remember correctly. And they had never had sex in any other position except for the missionary position, which also, I think we need to rename as well, missionary. I don't know why they call it that, but  the mission.

I have a story about that, but okay. Later time. Yeah. 

And so the missionary position, and so for them, what was kinky was for her to be on top, you know? And so that, that was their level of kink. And so kink, you know, so great to hear from him because he runs that as his primary blueprint. And you know, his partner does not, is not that interested in it, but they've figured out a way to weave together and to coincide and to find common ground. And so it was really beautiful to just hear from him on that level. 

Yeah. I loved that. Really all kink is, is what's taboo for you. Yeah. And that's right on! Like, yeah, let's play wherever that is. It doesn't have to be in the, it can be in, in a, in a dungeon, at the highest extreme of sensation play. Or it can be, you know, in your bedroom, in front of a fire doing something other than missionary style.

I mean, why not? 

Yeah, that, that whole, that whole realm of just doing something other than what you've always done. Or doing something that you've never done before with your partner, you've been with for a long time or new partner, either way. That's what can feel really exciting about sexuality. That, and it builds confidence inside of you.

I just had a fucking awesome orgasm the other night by myself. And I'd never had one like that before. I'd never had one in that position before on my own. And, and it, the, you know, afterwards, I was like, oh my God, I did that. There's a new level of confidence. Yes. I created that, created that space and it came through.

Yeah. And the other thing I think was really important. I wish we would've had more time to delve into is this piece around your desire is safe with me. And also, you know, There are limitations in where our partner can show up and making space for that to be okay.

Let's say, and we can just stay with the kink example, your range for what you can explore and feel comfortable in regarding your nervous system could be much wider than what your partner can engage and say yes to.

And that doesn't have to mean, uh, a story of I'm unsatisfied and it'll never work, ah, drama, drama, drama. You know, like, it can just be in this realm right now. This is as far as we play and we can get the most out of that. This is where my partner can go. And this is where my partner can't go or, or is unwilling to go or feels like that there's a limit.

And just because I can go further doesn't mean that, that... that I'm not satisfied. That there isn't a place where we are still meeting each other. And that wherever we can meet each other is a win. And sometimes where that starts is being able to have a loving conversation where you create the space, your desire is safe with me.

And in that place of curiosity, you know, you ask your partner, what is it that you desire? Your desire is safe with me. And then they get to answer free association. What arises, you know? And then you can say, thank you. They actually have specific responses for that particular exercise. I'm just gonna pull it up because why not?

So your desire is safe with me. Ask your partner, "tell me a desire you have" and the responses... so your partner gives you a response about their desire and the four responses you can choose from is "thank you", which simply means I understand. Uh, if you're not sure, like you don't understand. Then you would say "clarify that".

Or "say it again", which basically means I didn't get it all. Or "summarize that" if you just need them to bottom line it. You know, maybe they kind of went into like a big story and you just wanna, you need them now to bottom line it and get the get to the point.

So you have four responses after they answer your question. 

Tell me a desire you have?

Thank you. 

Clarify that. 

Say it again. Or... 

Summarize that. 

You wanna maintain eye contact and closeness with your partner, as you go through this exercise. And, you know, you could say something like, say something that's true for you right now regarding your desire.

But the whole premise is that you are holding the space with your desire is safe with me.  And I think just a lovely practice of creating unconditional love, of creating safety and trust between you and your partner, of having an open ended conversation, which is one of the key practices in being a mastery couple, instead of a disastery couple.  

Not to mention it really gets you more comfortable with being vulnerable.

Mm-hmm  because so many of us will go through a long-term relationship and, and not speak about our desires because we are afraid that what we truly desire would not be okay with the other person, or they wouldn't wanna do that. 

And that would, you know, botch the relationship. And so, um, those are the parts of us that we, that we, you know, hold back or that we tuck away or we sweep 'em under the rug.

And those are the same parts of us that come back and bite us in the ass later, if we're, if we don't bring that and air that to the surface. 

So I love those responses. They really bring forth a more understanding between you and your partner. Mm-hmm,  just because you have this desire for me be like being with two men, you know, if I have that desire in my partner was like, no, I'm, I'm not into that, but thank you for sharing that desire with me.

Yeah. You know, it's like, that creates more freedom for that desire to have life, to have a fantasy. And so maybe part, you know, the deeper part of that desire for me is to have, you know, penetration in the mouth, penetration in the yoni. And so maybe that could be created with my partner, you know, in now that he knows that or she, whatever you're..

...yeah. Yeah, there's creativity that can open up. And I think at the end of the day, this is really about closeness. You know, I mean, we all wanna be closer. We all wanna feel like we can trust our, our lover and really, because hopefully that lover is your best friend.  

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You get closer, you understand them better.

You create more vulnerability, more trust between the two of you. And it's, it's having a language around it and we're so lucky to be in a time right now where there's a lot more language for love making than there used to be. 

Yeah. So I just, if this is your first time hearing about the erotic blueprints, take this on a little bit of a longer journey.

There's a lot more nuance, a lot more opportunity for mastery that is built within the deeper part of the system, uh, that they've created. 

One of the things I've heard from a good friend of, um, Jaiya, and a mutual friend of mine is she illuminated for me that, at the end of the day, what we're all striving for as you study the blueprints, just like you would with the love languages, is that you, you learn to have mastery of all of them.

You don't limit yourself by your primary and your secondary. She says that basically we are all shape shifters, but conditioning has kind of smushed us into these categories of what we think is okay or not okay. 

Or these preferences. But if we really take a look at our sexual lives, and this is something that the Tantrikas say is that of all the 64 arts, the art of love, is the highest and most revered.

And that for, for any cultured person, you would want to study these 64 arts and love being the most exalted. 

And so we shouldn't limit ourselves by like dabbling a little bit here and there and learning a little bit more about sex. We should immerse ourselves in this thing called sexual love. And really allow ourselves in the 21st century to we, we have the privilege, we have the opportunity. We have the resources, especially in the west, not everybody, but, but most of us by and large, to take this on a much deeper journey than anyone in the generations previous to us have had the time or the luxury to explore. 

Yeah. And one of the beautiful things that happens when you do that is you're changing the epigenetic code that was passed down to you, all the shame and all the guilt, and all those pieces that hold you back from being whole, that gets to shift and change.

And then if you do have children, you pass something different onto them than you were, your parents passed onto you. 

Yeah. And I met saying to turn to some sort of like sex geek, or this becomes like a huge distraction in your life, or, you know...

although if you want to, you know, go for it. 

Yeah. Yeah. They enjoy the club, you know. 

Water's, water's fine over here.  

so thank you. Uh, Ian, and we hope you liked the episode as much as we did. 

Yeah. Enjoy it. Love, love, love. 

Thanks for tuning in. If the hosts seem to know what they were talking about. That's because they do Leah Piper is a Tantric sex master coach and a positive psychology facilit. Dr. Willow brown is both a Chinese and functional medicine doctor and a Taoist sexology teacher.

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